That Guy

>>50324784
>group of five
>search for a cure for a highly contagious disease
>find and enter the laboratory where it's supposed to be created
>eventually find a cell with a chained guy
>isn't moving, so I go a bit closer and hit him with my trident
>jumps to life and is obviously infected
>just stay out of range so he can't bite me
>discuss further plans with group
>suddenly warlock announces: I'll Eldritch Blast him
>entire group glares
>DM carefully says: you're pretty close and he's chained to a wall. That might blow him up
>warlock ignores our protests and repeats: I'll Eldritch Blast him
>DM sighs and asks for a roll
>highest possible roll happens
>DM showers me in infected blood
>everyone in the group slaps the warlock for one damage each to vent our anger

>>50324784
What's so wrong about that? I mean, the guy might just be naive, or really like dhampirs, but being That Guy implies a degree of intentional dickery.

File: fine_jerk.png (136KB, 333x318px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 333x318px

>>50324784
>new player thinks of some fantasy thing they think is cool and wanna play as ask their DM for help
>DM throws a fit and whines about it online

Wow, you're an asshole, OP. At least just be polite and tell them they can't be a Dhampir because you can't find any rules for it.

Or you could work with them and let them do it and have fu. You could probally refluff an existing race or class for it. Or use something like this.
https://nerdarchy.com/2015/03/vampire-kin-a-class-monster-mash-up-the-custom-path-for-monk-in-dungeons-dragons-5th-edition-part-2/

>>50324784
>that mfw
You saying you got a boner?

>>50324784
You were That Guy at your tanle, OP.

>>50325144
Why would it blow him up?

File: D.jpg (33KB, 768x480px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 768x480px

>>50324784

>>50324784
Vampires and anything that is borne from their sucktastic nature are the worst shit ever

>>50324784
No John, you are the Those Guys.

>>50324784
>Giving him shit without warning
You are the faggot

File: i_want_to_die.png (198KB, 2088x836px) Image search: [Google]

198KB, 2088x836px

Dragon-guy anon back to report that the ride never ends. He's currently playing a warforged with mods to look like a dragonborn now, I'm not DM.

>>50326211
If you're THE dragon-guy anon then you gotta keep this greentext rolling. Quick storytime as to the details of this scaly's antics?

File: tumblr_mieb7j0oQX1r1q091o9_400.png (178KB, 311x326px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 311x326px

>>50326294
Alright? Not much has changed since last time.
>dragon-guy was playing aforementioned reverse warlock.
>I'm playing a dragon who got polymorphed into a human and trying to get turned back. A character I've wanted to play since before he joined our group. His character is kinda protective of mine for no reason other than dragon, annoying, not a big deal.
>his character ends up dying
>asks DM if he can play the reverse familiar (pseudodragon) as his new character. DM says no, bargains with DM for a while, fails.
>ends up making new character, warforged fighter. We're all amazed that he made something not dragon related.
>surprise, it is dragon related; has weird body mods to look like dragonborn. Backstory is something about getting kicked out of a warforged army because he was defective or some shit.
>constantly talking about how dragon-y his character looks. Obnoxiously long character name in binary, constantly starts sentences with "This unit suggests..." and talks in third person.
>another surprise, he's still clingy and overprotective of my character.
>why this.png

Honestly starting to consider killing him, since most of the party is fed up with his shit and I can justify it in-character. Plus he has no ranged so I could easily cast fly and spam fireball.

>>50326565

Wait, I'm not supposed to talk in the third person when roleplaying?

Fuck

>>50326666
>Wait, Anonymous is not supposed to talk in the third person when roleplaying?
Fuck

Fixed it for you.

>>50324784
>lewd_bone.jpg

>>50326666
Depends on the group. Referring to one's self in third person can be a good speech quirk for a character, but if done badly it gets annoying fast.

>>50326565
I the last warforged I played I played like Optimus Prime, paladin and all.

File: Devil.jpg (41KB, 500x350px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 500x350px

>that guy that will look everywhere, open every drawer, search every pocket, turn every rock over
I ALREADY TOLD YOU THERE WAS NOTHING HERE LETS MOVE ALONG

>>50324784
As always, the OP has a That Guy in the story, but not the one they're thinking of.

>>50326994
Every time you feel like he's taking too long, have a mousetrap snap shut on his character's hand when he probes someplace.

Every single time. Don't vary it.

>I reach under the bookshelf.
>A mousetrap snaps shut on your hand.

>I take a second look at the treasure chest.
>Sure enough, the chest has a false bottom. You can see a tab on one side to lift it.
>Okay, I grab the tab and lift it.
>As soon as you touch the tab, a mousetrap snaps shut on your hand.

>Okay, this time I look VERY CAREFULLY in the bottom drawer of the desk, but I don't reach in.
>You see some scattered papers.
>No mousetraps?
>Nope.
>Okay, I reach in to get the papers.
>A mousetrap snaps shut on your hand, which causes the invisibility spell on it to fade.

>I cast see invisibility on myself and reach down to check the bottom of the fountain.
>Your hand is snapped by a mousetrap carefully constructed of glass, rendering it clear by non-magical means.

>Okay, I lower my periscope-type contraption into the tree's knothole, so my fingers are nowhere near it. I examine it very carefully.
>You see what appears to be a portal.
>Wait, really? And there's no mousetraps, right?
>Correct. You do not see any mousetraps.
>Okay, I pull out the periscope and blow in a handful of sand, then put the periscope back in. That should reveal any invisible mousetraps, right?
>Indeed it should. You can see that there aren't any in there.
>Okay. Fine. I lean into the knothole to get a better look at the portal.
>As soon as you get close, you discover the portal leads to the Royal Ratcatcher's office, specifically his mousetrap cupboard.

File: 1454550513887.jpg (51KB, 426x501px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 426x501px

>Invite young girl from local game store to our monthly larp/gangrape
>As soon as she enters the dark basement we leap on her
>Start to rip her clothes off as Cody prepares the blood-soaked alter for our sacrifice to Moloch.
>Everyone is ready to get some raping done (except the girl obviously haha she was terrified and crying and shit) and then this one asshole is like "maybe we shouldn't do this guys she is so young it just feels wrong you know"?

What a fucking asshole I hate when thatguys ruin the mood.

>>50324784
Wheres his other hand?

>>50327183
Thanks, I'm going to try this next time. Sounds like someone is going to lose a couple fingers.

>>In this universe superhumans have an universal unconscious desire for conflict, which lends itself to supporting the cape culture of solving problems by beating up your enemy.
>TG proceeds to create the equivalent of a CE rouge with super powers and starts killing indiscriminately.
>>Tell him that he really shouldn't do that.
>Ignores me
>Gets mad when the universe acts accordingly and he gets a kill order put on his head.

>>50327197
Yeah but when you're doing demon sacrifices you kind of NEED that guy just to put things in perspective. It lets you savor the moment when you remember you're deplorable, otherwise you're going to be spending all your time looking forward to the next sacrifice and never enjoying the one you're on.

File: And memes to go before I sleep.jpg (167KB, 900x700px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 900x700px

>>50327241

>Cape culture.

>>50325752
Would something made of water explode if you shot it with a high powered laser beam that was on full power?

File: Nothing else to give.jpg (76KB, 960x647px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 960x647px

>>50327249

I just wish he would wait until she was on the alter at least. Let us get in the mood before he starts bringing up morals and shit.

>>50327232
Rat traps are the ones that can take off a finger. Mouse traps just hurt like hell.

>>50327425
Yeah but I'm going to add some sharp blades here and there if he keeps up with the autism.

>>50327806
Hopefully it doesn't get to that point.

File: What the fuck am I summoning.jpg (48KB, 435x571px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 435x571px

>>50326565

Well that story was a wet fart.

Also can I suggest that maybe you should stop making his weird dragon fetish a big deal? I mean yeah he's annoying but you aren't giving any examples of him ruining games or fucking with gms. In fact, from that big sperg blurb it seems to me like he was just asking you to kindly stop calling him a scaly, which implies that you guys were calling him a scaly way too much.

So how about you respect the creep and leave him creep alone or, better yet, actively role play with the fucker.

We have had That Guy stories about people pvping, raping characters, raping npcs, torturing children, jerking off mid-session, doing drugs, pulling knives, and passie-aggressively nuking entire campaigns. "This guy likes dragons a bit too much for our liking" is hardly That Guy territory.

Also
>tumblr

Well that explains it.

>>50328215
Lots of images come from Tumblr. Most of the drawfags come from Tumblr. And it's my preferred source of softcore pornography.

You're clearly judging the website based only on reputation. It's like saying all of 4chan = /b/.

>>50328247
I guess I shouldn't say "come from Tumblr", but rather "use Tumblr".

>>50328247
>softcore pornography
Faggot.

>>50326994
This is why the random encounter exists.

>>50328258
Explain that train of thought.

>>50327298
It sounds like he might have saved you from a thrashing. You think Moloch wants your sloppy seconds on his presumably virgin sacrifice?

>>50327269
Don't apply physics to D&D. It's magic. We don't know how it works outside of the presented rules. If the spells doesn't specify that things explode, then you shouldn't expect them too.

Now, if your DM said, "I will make the infected explode if you shoot him," then that is the fault of your warlock. Either way, your warlock was a dick for killing something that could be useful.

>>50325752
I don't mind the DMs decision, at least he warned beforehand. Using an ability like that against an unarmed chained target in the first place makes no sense.