Story Time /tg/!
>>50315183
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>>50315218
>>50315235
WHAT AM I LOOKING AT AND WHY AM I ERECT
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>>50315257
Your wood is for the Emperor. It is holy.
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>>50315257
A righteous bone
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>>50315257
Necromunda
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>>50315434
> Help me to massacre this day.
Oh my God.
>>50315447
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>>50315458
You called?
>>50315471
You're doing the Emperor's work, OP.
>>50315515
Have some more, then!
>>50315523
>>50315532
And thus begins the best song ever composed
>>50315542
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>>50315299
>no salesmen
Tell my sides I'll miss them.
>>50315601
I truly wish there was more series like this. WH40k is so ripe for dark comedy.
>>50315615
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>>50315669
Pat Mills always manages to surprise me in some way.
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>>50315693
> That face in the last panel.
>>50315742
>his men praise him instead of the Emperor
Isn't that minor heresy?
>>50315756
>>50315764
Ciaphas Cain has a cult that's sanctioned. It seems that saints and heroes are okay, and I fucking DARE you to tell him that he is neither.
>>50315768
>>50315782
This is the most erection inducing rip n' tear bullshit I have seen in a long time.
>>50315794
Then have the next Issue
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>>50315882
Did... did he just cure Nurgle's Rot?
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>>50315940
Is this the sex?
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>>50315960
Better, it's Righteous vengence
>>50315960
I hope so, because I think I came.
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>>50316078
My apologies, but I require sustenance. I shall return soon.
>>50316091
HOLY
S H I T
>>50316102
'Slaught is a hell of a drug.
>>50316164
This is literally Thirty-h's in visual form.
>>50316164
Bit of a kick to it.
>>50316091
Sorry about that, let's get back into this!
>>50315553
Truly a beautiful song
>>50316272
Gave me a chance to make some lemonade.
Never forget your lemonade when reading things like this.
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>>50315584
smugperty.jpg
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>>50316369
> The Redeemer is so fucking awesome that ancient pagan chaos prophesies warned about his coming.
>>50316380
>>50316384
First, the heathens fear you.
Then, you kill them.
Then, you win.
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>>50316406
Why the fuck isn't the Imperium fielding this man against everything?
>>50316409
>>50316410
The man can only scourge and purge one place at a time. Otherwise, the Imperium would've won already.
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>>50316428
>>50316420
He just crashed those pagan Gods.
With no survivors.
Fuck.
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>>50316448
>I don't need you!
>Uses the guy's axe to kill the enemy
I love this crazy asshole
>>50316500
>>50316509
> And I, too. For this is surely an illusion, a delirium of the mind.
> WHICH I DENY
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>>50316524
Fucking glorious. Thank you, OP.
>>50316524
Thank you OP for a great read.
I'd dearly like to see more black humor like this in the 40K universe.
Well, that's it! I best be off to the blessed sleep. See you next week for Kal Jerico!
>>50316524
100/10 would scourge and purge again
LOVE IT
SCOURGE AND PURGE!
>>50316554
Forgot the teaser pic
Fuck that was cool OP.
>>50316524
This was like having a fever dream after reading Thirty-Hs. Mag-fucking-nificent.
>>50315906
I imagine he thinks he did
>>50316588
DO YOU DOUBT HIM?
>>50316581
> AND NOW THERE ARE VAMPIRE CAVEMEN ON MARS
>>50316524
Thanks OP, you're a legend.
>>50316604
> BECAUSE THE PAGES WERE MADE OF LASERS AND THE WORDS WERE MADE OF HEADLESS WOMEN MAKING GODLESS TO LOVE TO DRAGONS MADE OF MOTORCYCLES
PSYCHE! THERE'S MORE
>>50316570
siiiiiiiiiick
>>50316623
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>>50316479
>Realizes immediately that it's an illusion
>Still murders all of his subordinates
Redeemer is the best boss
>>50316623
WHAT A TWIIIIIIIST
>>50316641
>>50316644
You're damn fucking right.
>>50316646
>>50316589
O-OF COURSE NOT ALMIGHTY REDEEMER
>>50316641
holy fuck, Klovis is ripped
mirin
>>50316646
Oh god it's a fucking donkey kong ass gorilla hucking barrels
>>50316656
>>50316666
BY THE EMPEROR
>>50316656
>that smiley face on the chainsaw
They aren't even trying to hide it and it's amazing
>>50316663
Then behold the Redeemer's Quads!
>>50316681
>>50316685
PRAISE BE!
And now I best sleep. Good night all!
>>50316681
i aint seeing j00cy quads there anon
> The Warp can feel Klovis overtaking it.
>>50315365
GAZE INTO THE FIST OF KLOVIS
>>50316701
the quads are >>50316666 mistyped it's late. I'll flagellate myself for my sins later
>>50316727
If it doesn't hurt, it doesn't count.
>>50316695
>And that's just the audience!
I didn't need those ribs anyways.
>>50316634
>Drink at Kopinski's
>>50315248
>Pure Sole
MY sides
>>50316424
Why don't they clone him? Or just send him into the Eye of Terror to scourge and purge the Warp?
>>50318079
you don't want the setting ended, do you anon?
>>50316500
>All else are but her fading dreams
That line is so good
>>50318079
Clones don't work in 40K sadly. They already tried. Results were not satisfying.
>>50316695
This whole comic is basically "How hard can we rip off 2000AD". The answer is really damn hard and it is AWESOME.
>>50316646
>Donkey Kong
>>50318451
Pat Mills was the writer for this, it doesn't get much more 2000AD than that.
>>50318079
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Afriel_Strain
Basically, trying to clone heroes in 40k just produces a bunch of ordinary people with terrible luck.
>>50315183
Yay! Bumpan'
Thans a lot OP.
>>50319027
Weeeeell...it produces a bunch of badasses that are given a little too much opportunity to prove it. Still, you're mostly right.
>>50316723
Glad I wasn't the only one who thought of Dredd.
>>50315404
They spell remarkably well for having such shitty handwriting...
>>50315872
is that a fucking zippo
>>50315584
>That as much as I'd like to overlook them
yeah, right.
Man, late-90s to early/mid2000s BL was the best. What happened?
So...Is OP going to post the other comic next sunday?
Because this was awesome! Thanks for putting the whole thing up, it's good to see it all
>>50320873
They stopped getting 2000AD guys to work for them regularly (apart from Dan Abnett, I guess) and returned to relying on people who were already part of the in-house GW culture who thought they could write and edit. This was a mistake.
>>50322111
I think it's also because the current authors and editors have different backgrounds.
So at first you had scholars or people with a life experience doing a job outside their usual line of work. They enriched the setting with their own knowledge.
Now we have nerds that grew up on nerd culture. Instead of getting inspiration from classic works or real life, they're reusing fantasy or sci-fi tropes ad-nauseam, each iteration more bastardized than the previous one. Clichéisation, if you will.
Mind, it's always been the case, swashbucking novels being a prime example of it. But we're in the middle of this one, so it's pretty obvious.
Holy fuck thank you OP.
>>50315882
>that fucking needle
>>50316010
So this is the Emperor's peace ? A few ragged men in red robe ?
>>50316500
>Nice to see you've escaped the trance, Malakev.
>I'll still shoot you.
Btw, aren't redemptionists supposed to be like the KKK in that they have regular jobs and lives when they're not purging the mutant?
Imagining Klovis in a manufacotria or anoher menial job, longing for the end of his shift to put the mask again, fills me with glee.
>>50323401
Yes, but Clovis is a noble of House Cawdor, so he goes home to his family's mansion, goes to Redemption Mass, does some paperwork, hears some serfs complain at him, and then he puts on the mask and goes out into the underhive to redeem some heathens by fire and sword, because faith without deeds is dead, and if it doesn't hurt, it doesn't count.
>Got a game of D&D tonight, playing a cleric of a death god
>Not really jazzed for it, the setting sucks and I can't get into the head of the character
>Read this
>MFW it's time to scourge and purge
Thanks for putting the cleansing fire in my heart OP. This comic was the best piece of 40k literature I think I've ever read.
>>50323486
Fucking aristocracy. Is a hero of the people to much to ask for?
And he's fighting two rulers with psychic powers. That's psychocracy!
Only the scalies and the well mutants seems to have a decent form of government in that hive.
>>50323704
>a hero
The Redeemer isn't really a hero, he's more of a blood-crazed lunatic. It's just that the guys he's fighting are also terrible.
>>50323756
To be fair, he's a blood-crazed lunatic whose livelihood depends on the Hive remaining intact. So while he surely SCOURGES AND PURGES the innocent from time to time, the place is safer as a whole because of him.
>mfw "if it doesn't hurt, it doesn't count"
>>50317130
Holy shit kek.
>>50323756
Rest reassured anon, I don't really think that the mutant's "shut up or get an eviscerator to the face" is a valid form of governance either.
Though Klovis did save the entire hive, after all.
>>50323916
Yep, in the grim derpness of 40k, sometimes you need a murderous lunatic to stop other murderous lunatics, in a hilarious fashion.
I love Pat Mills
>>50315183
You win the prize
>>50323704
>Only the scalies and the well mutants seems to have a decent form of government in that hive.
Anon, Necromunda is a shithole even by hive world standards. No one is decent or ruled by decent people in a sane manner. It's a grimy, grim, overpopulated place torn by gang warfare and ruled by psychotics. It made for a fucking hilarious wargame.
>>50323916
>Though Klovis did save the entire hive, after all.
Isn't cannon that the imperial guard have to periodically cull the underhive population to avoid overpopulation.
>>50324251
To be fair, that's most hive worlds. A number of hive worlds accomplish the same aim by sending men in with big sticks to conscript everyone too dumb to run and sticking them into the IG.
>>50315553
So beautiful *sniffles*
>>50315778
Aren't living saints kinda borderline, some think they're ok, some don't?
>Redeemer storytime
You know, I don't think there was a single page of that comic that didn't have a panel that would make a good reaction image.
>>50316406
Clearly, we know who Klovis descends from.
>>50315584
>Milord, that's not how you do decimation!
>Not the way I do it
>>50316071
>Hey, isn't this just that deadly drug Slaught?
>Yes
>But doesn't it have awful long-term side effects?
>Yes, but right now you don't have a long term.
>>50316437
>Epic duel is playing out
>flunkie runs up, "I, Malakev of Necromunda will save you!"
>Swift punch to flunkie's jaw
>"I, Klovis of fast diminishing patience, don't need you."'
This comic is a fucking goldmine.
I love how this comic will make each side batshit insane, but they'll still be a real threat because of or in spite of it. No enemy feels like dull fight.
>>50315896
The big green thing is now my spirit animal.
>>50326282
Not really - they're actually fairly widespread, though the Ecclesiarchy has to officially name them as such.
>>50318079
Clones are actually considered heretical in 40k, I think because usually clones end up being blanks, or just the fact that cloning tech is not what it used to be and it ends up with lots of errors, making any clone technically a mutant. That's why the the Krieg's numbers are so suspicious, and they're so careful to make it clear that it's not cloning (even if it might be).
>>50316666
>6666
SLAANESH HAS BLESSED THIS THREAD
PURGE EVERYTHING
>we could have had a Redemption church-mobile
>instead we got the Taurox
fuck everything
Man why did they stop making 40k comics for a while? The new Dark Angels one is off to a good start.
Almost all of them were great especially Deff Swadron and Damnation Crusade
>>50315882
The Redeemer will always have the best reaction images
>>50327564
I like how he wrote "choppa" on his axe. You know, in case he forgets or something.
>>50315859
>Necromunda is such an awful place that the only reaction a plague zombie elicits is "psh, go away"
You know, as awesome as this is o have to wonder how he isn't bothered by heat transfer. I can gather having it on like a backpack or something like the sisters so, but having a burning vessel on your head really seems like a bad idea.
>>50330942
It's 40k, they have super-abestos liners.It's ten times more carcinogenic than regular abestos
>>50320418
WUZ
>>50331343
THE CRYSTAL GEMS
>>50315203
>Writers: Pat Mills
And suddenly everything makes sense.
>>50331371
most of warhammer's earlier comics were done by the 2000AD guys
>>50316524
BE PURE
BE VIGILANT
BEHAVE
>>50328112
That would have required a new Ecclisiarchy Codex, and new line of Sororitas
>>50316272
that fucking smiley face on his sword.
>>50332466
Looks like a gauge.Yes.
>>50315218
For a dude whose feet are sitting in a roaring fire he's pretty lucid.
>>50316420
>The moral of the story is that rats and spiders can never get along
Sure why not
>>50316428
There's no reason that this should be an eye of the storm thing rather than just everything being blasted apart. But hey, fuck it amirite?
>40k villains will never be as awesome as the Caller, who despite his obvious insanity is also a fair equal for the Redeemer in tactical skill, fantasicm, and brute strength, and doesn't need to be hyped up by stomping a few no-name factions
>40k will never have grimdark fanatic murderboners, but also odd chances for redemption and intigration, like with Brude and the ratskins
>40k will never have more interestingly thought out societies
>40k will never have more interesting little jokes like 'trespassers will be persecuted,' and the Redeemer's boot having 'hot foot' written on the sole, and other variations of dark, dry humor rather than mundane hatred
It hurts
>>50335438
Well maybe if you stop acting like a faggot then it will
I just noticed that they took the nose of brude's hat as well.
>>50315553
I think I'll present this one to my deacon and see if we can't work it into our next service.
I wish the Redemptionist cults had a codex or an army list.
>>50337108
They do.
In Necromunda.
>>50328020
Even Slaanesh shows up for Redeemer story time.
>>50316646
glad to see the 40k universe finally embracing the diversity angleWE WUZ
>>50324239
Incidentally, it's one of the worlds the Imperial Fists recruit from - because the worst Hive Worlds (Terra, Necromunda) produce people badass enough to be marines.
I wonder if any of the (more zealous) Fists have ties to the Redemptionists after all this time
>>50337108
You could always fluff some guardsmen.
>>50331343
KANG
>>50337773
>>50338362
Well memed, bros.
>>50328112
>>50337108
Early 3rd they had. Not very good, but Exterminators were nasty.
>>50315882
>this whole page
It's like everything that makes up how incredibly stupid/awesome 40k is in a nutshell
>>50338758
It's pretty much just Pat Mills being Pat Mills, though. Nemesis the Warlock is chock full of that kind of thing.
>>50338521
>Doesn't tell you teh ahlways thin ya' paints an' get a nahce, fahn tip on ya' brush
I prefer modern GW painting advice.
>>50334409
>Mom, why do rats eat spiders?
>Oh, I got just the right story for you...
>>50339537
>Toddler singalong to the Redeemer song
This is okay with me
>tfw work as an elementary school teacher
I wonder if I can get away with teaching them the Redeemer song.
>>50339669
Probably not.
>>50339669
The Emperor expects.
And after all 2000AD is just comic books