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We destroyed time!

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Thread replies: 15
Thread images: 4

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Soooooo.... my Dark Heresy group may have just destroyed time! basically, after killing a pedo priest and looting his entire mansion and stealing his ship (turns out his crew were so happy that he was dead they gave us a ride to the Inquisitorial Conclave we're trying to reach) during which we entered The Warp... and rifts started to open on our ship which other versions of us stepped out of...
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>>50213588
that in itself wouldn't be so bad... we followed the instructions, "step through the portal" *steps through the portal, tells past self to do the same* someone else has to put his hands through a portal to prevent his past self from falling through one in the wall, then things... got weird... a dead Alpha Legion marine fell through a portal, dead, chest caved in... after we had finished shooting it in the head just to make sure it is really, really, REALLY dead THE SAME FUCKING MARINE STEPS THROUGH ANOTHER PORTAL! thankfully he was too confused about what the fuck was going on to attack us, so it gave one of our party with a Thunder Hammer (which he had affectionately nicknamed "Bruce", who smashes) to CAVE THE FUCKERS CHEST IN! and it then fell back into a portal...
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>>50213588
the weirdness did not end, almost immediately after two more portals opened up, one in the celling, and one in the floor, and fucking ORKS started to fall through! all we could hear was "WAAAAAAAG-" "WAAAAAAAG-" "WAAAAAAAG-" "WAAAAAAAG-" "WAAAAAAAG-" as they kept coming through, and two of our party used them for target practice! not long after which there was a mass *SPLAT!* from outside and, when we opened the door, there was a huge pile of splatted Orks... and the a Squig fell on my head!
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>>50213588
and still the weirdness did not end, a fucking thunder hammer fell out of the roof! it was Bruce! and a portal opened up on the floor, well, we're supposed to throw Bruce in I guess! but nope! the fucking IDIOT holding Bruce decided to jump INTO the portal! WITH BRUCE! at which point we all heard screams and groans as if the entire fabric of reality was being torn and.... we ended up back in our room! with 1d5 insanity for our troubles!
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>>50213588
we had been sent back to before we entered the warp! oh and them a daemon prince walked out of a portal, called Chronos the Eternal... Chosen of Tzeench... who then yelled at us for messing with time... I think we fucked up... and the fucking up did not end, after an uneventful Warp trip the shipmaster reported that we had exited the Warp not only a whole system and a day early... and that we were under attack by Dark Eldar Raiders... after they destroyed several lower levels of the ship, killing a good chunk of the crew in the process, they boarded the ship, and we managed to repel them as a few stray rounds and not so stray grenades killed a few of their own and they started to fight among themselves or just run off! but our victory was short lived.... as they just shot out ship to hell... so we retreated into a part of the ship exposed by the fighting and encountered, you guessed it! more Warp rifts! specifically US! WALKING past ourselves and into another rift! and then a new rift opened and daemons started to come out! having the bright idea that breaking time even more may save us (and that if he was going to die he would do so WHILE BREAKING MOTHERFUCKING TIME!) so we charged past the daemons into yet another warp rift... and came out just as our past selves were entering that area... and another version of me come out of ANOTHER portal and told us to, and I quote "touch ourselves!" so we did! and we started to fuse together! and then there was a blinding flash and we ended up in the same area just sans daemons and other uses!
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>>50213588
but did things end here? fuck no! next thing we knew a dozen Inquisitorial Stormtroopers from the Ordo fucking Chronos came out of a warp rift, and demanded we surrender, which caused a lot of "you wiped yourselves from time!" "no we didn't!" arguments until the SAME Stormtroopers came from another rift behind them and the first Stormtroopers, acting on muscle memory, turned round and shot themselves... yes... we may have caused the destruction of the Ordo Chronos.... oops....
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Someone fucked the Lore.
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Sounds like your DM was looking for an excuse to end the campaign and be done with you inept memelord fucks.
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>>50213588
turns out our time travel antics had wiped out HALF THE FUCKING IMPERIUM OF MAN FROM HISTORY! at which point... remember the Daemon Prince from before? yeah, he came back, more pissed off than ever... yelling at ALL of us for messing with things we don't understand, causing a massive three way argument between Chronos the Eternal, the Ordo Chronos, and me, a nerd trying to work out time travel (later the GM said he was literally a moment away from having a mysterious blue box appear and a Xenos with two hearts and a strange device stepping out and lecturing everyone...) and then other versions of us started to turn up and kill off others and then vanish, and then Chronos the Eternal had enough of our bullshit, hit the ground with his staff and sent us all back to before we entered the warp, again, and gave us a safe trip to our destination as he did NOT want us to fuck with time... again, oh and then another version of me turned up, killed the me in the room, and then took my place, turns out Chronos has been working with doubles of ourselves to wipe out all our copies from the timeline and then out us back, no corruption, why? BECAUSE NOT DESTROYING THE TIME LINE WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TZEENCHIAN BULLSHIT! oh, and our adventures are apparently taking place in the If The Emperor Had a Text To Speech Device universe... things are going to get a lot weirder...
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sounds like lulrandumb bullshit neck yourself
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>>50214262
nope! we just fucked up a time loop and things... escalated, we are the WORST Acolytes ever!
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Sounds like so much ____shit___!

Sage this shit.
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>>50214273
>>50214291
We had fun, so no. How about you neck yourself instead?
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>>50214475
Ouch, does your ass get this burned when anyone gives you shit? Saged and called the cops.

Next time dont post stupid boring shit and you wont get insulted.
>>
>>50214475
>posts dumb bullshit
>gets mocked
>MUH FUN THO

Your enjoyment of a thing doesn't make it good.
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 4


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