40k STCs

>>50085696
The point of STCs is to make advanced tech accessible to retards. Coupled with the fact that there is only war in 40k, the Admech will find a way to make it work.

Water pump STC? Our hellhounds just doubled their range
Scented candles STC? Now in demon-banishing flavor
Yogurt STC? We'll feed trillions of workers with the blandest yogurt ever known to man. We'll even make it from recycled human remains.

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This one

>>50085696
Nintendo DS STC

>>50087823
Lasguns are now 3ds cartridge campatable

>>50085696
One thing that always stuck fast to my mind was guant's spy buddy(possessed by helldane by then) gushed on about an stc found some decades prior to them standing in the chamber of the men of iron stc. Some scouts discovered it and the dude stated he believed each man was awarded an entire planet for their heroic contribution to the imperium.

What did that stc provide? A method of folding steel alloy together for blades. They went on to use the knowledge to make new knives and combat blades for over thirty space marine chapters and various guard regiments got bayonets of the stuff. For all we know it could have been a few lines mentioning the benefits of folding steel a hundred times in katana. And yet that still was considered friggin huge news for the imperium.

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>>50088487
There's more to a knife than just the blade. Pic is the AK bayonet, that can be used as a wirecutter with the scabbard.

For all we know it might be a knife that never loses its edge, cuts like no other, got rambo-like utilities build in it, is nonconductive and amagnetic, is perfectly balanced for every use, and so on...

>>50088633
Exactly, for all we know. All we know from the story is it resulted in far lighter blades that held their sharpness far better. And it was only able to be applied to blades. And yet despite being such a very specific thing that just benefited blades, they still got their own planets for finding it. The imperium will take anything that comes out of an stc that is not corrupted by chaos as an absolute blessing.

One day I'll run a 40k trpg where the players find a STC fragment for a fabric that improves clothes and uniforms tenfold in basically every way

>>50085696
The inquisition is trying to destroy all STCs for they came from a time before the Emperor.
In the grim derp of 40K, there is only blind zealotry and the Imperium is determined to die in the most horrendous way possible because it is better to exterminatus the entire universe out of existence than let even the possibility of heresy exist.

Or, at least that's my impression of 40K and the Inquisition. No STCs shall be found, for they disrupt the forever war and give hope. And that's heresy.

>>50088712
The AdMech will. STC are like splinters of the true cross for them.
While finding a Constructor would be the holy grail.

>>50088852
If a sect of Inquisitors would do so they would all be found dead very soon.
Don't fuck with Mars, just do not.

>>50088926
This. The Inquisition has absolute authority on paper, but it's Mars that has the greatest ability to just absolutely destroy interior Imperial workings. What's that? The Magi stopping your ship from exploding have been told by their superiors that it's their holy calling to let you explode? Good thing AdMech isn't a fanatic priesthood or anything...

>>50088852
Remember, it was helldane, an inquisitor, who desperately wished to regain the stc for the imperium. Granted the dude was as outright radical as you could get while still remaining an inquisitor officially, and was probably going to be labeled renegade very soon anyway.

>>50089120
>The Inquisition has absolute authority on paper
On paper, yes. And on paper the Priesthood of Mars has absolute authority over tech and absolute autonomy. On paper, the Marines have similar autonomy. On paper, the High Lords of Terra have absolute authority over every detail of the Imperium. A lot of groups have absolute authority or complete autonomy on paper. In practice, they all depend on each other to function, and tend to cooperate whenever they can.

>>50087741

Recycled human flesh yogurt is already a thing. Admech do it ("Word Bearers trilogy"), Iron Warriors do it ("Siege of Castellax"), so I'm pretty some Imperial institutions do it as well.

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>>50085696
An STC to synthesize salt

>>50088487
Oh man, there's this great part in the Cult Mechanicus codex where they talk about an expedition successfully finding THREE STCs

One for 'self-heating cookpots', one for 'parchment autoquills' and one for 'stable flux-core bolt rounds that can melt ceramite as if it were wax'

>>50089305
How many of these are serious?

>>50089562
Do you really want to know?

>>50089562
You're supposed to be offended by each and every one of them. If the OP thought that any of them made sense (or were at all tolerable), they wouldn't be in the image, because it's meant to make people look bad.

>>50089562
You're asking the wrong person. The kind of person who posts that sort of image is the kind of person who actively avoids understanding or accurately describing what they hate in favor of "joking" and "satire".

>>50085696
panacea. eventually they will remember that it exists and they might go full crusade on it against the DE

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>>50089305
>Slaanesh
what would that look like?

>>50089305
>Hellboy
I don't know if I want that to be legit or not.

>Necron
It fits in too well

>>50085696

Espresso Machine STC

>>50088852
>No X, for they disrupt the forever war

t. geedubs

>>50089228
It's called corpse-starch.
>some
Hohoho. Someone call chairman Yang, I want him to laugh at this guy.

>>50091667
Is used to create a drug that make factoryworkers able to work 24/7.

>>50091667
this would ramp up how effective they are by 500% easily
literally the entire imperium would become madly powerful because everyone is constantly hyper as well as insane.