weird/ funny MTG stories

>>T1
>Swamp
>Dark Ritual
>Sinkhole my Swamp
>One With Nothing
Concede go to game 2

>>50072894
>Pre-2011
>The flavor text on Lava Axe was one word
>ebinpostm9.jpeg

>>50073092
>Catch

>Kitchen table magic
>Misrepresent gamestate by forgetting an upkeep trigger
>We both realize this
>Whole board is funded
>Ask my m8 "Hey you feel that?"
>"Feel what?"
>"EARTHQUAAAAAKE!"
>Proceed to shake every single card off the table, cackling like a madman in the process.

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>Play against friend's Lich's Mirror + Channel combo deck.
>He goes off
>Get up to grab a beer
>He's still counting mana and checking his hand when I get back
>Mfw

>>50073155
This is a less shitry version of the same story:

>Kitchen table magic with bro
>Misrepresent gamestate by forgetting an upkeep trigger for several turns
>We both realize this
>Whole board is fucked
>Ask bro "Hey, you feel that?"
>"Feel what?"
>"EARTHQUAAAAAKE!"
>Proceed to shake every single card off the table, cackling like a madman in the process.

>start playing 8-way commander game at around 8pm when it's a slow night at the LGS
>some guy joins in who has never played MTG before
>borrows a friend's deck
>things are going fine enough
>four turns in or so, someone tells him a corner-case interaction that completely shuts me out of the game
>he gets a smile on his face and proceeds to do absolutely nothing at all except that one thing he just learned
>i'm the first one out because of this
>7 hours later, 2am, the match has been narrowed down to the new guy (taking instructions from everyone around him) vs the store owner
>new guy starts taking about 6-7minutes per turn for no real reason
>has a 20 minute turn at one point to basically say "land, go"
>Store owner is getting pissed, but can't do anything since it's this guy's first time and he's been talking about buying into standard and commander
>get tired and leave
>show up that friday and ask who won
>game ended at 3:30am with the new guy winning

>At a convention
>See tabletop gaming on the schedule
>check it out
>Mostly weeks playing Commander
>Trading with a stranger
>I don't care about cardboard cash or value trading anymore
>See nothing I want
>Give the kid a playset of Legion Loyalist for Modern Goblins deck (valued at $40 at the time)
>Kids was unreasonably grateful like I gave him a kidney or something

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long story
playing on tts, super casual
casual is in the title of the server
>turn 1
>mox
ok
>turn 2
>black lotus and another mox
dude wtf
"legal in legacy", whatever fine
>ancestral recall
>4 force of wills
>time walk
>more counterspells
>all moxen
>seat of synod
he took 30 minutes to take his last turn, consisting of drawing through his deck to get monks with prowess which was 1 of 2 win cons
the other was the same, but these monks and red elementals were the only creatures he had
>boardwipes 3 times
>land destruction
he almost killed himself, 1 life 1 card in deck
we couldnt do anything, counterspells

meanwhile, im playing a terrible hedron deck which was fun to play anyway, my buddys playing green creatures but his garruk gets force of willed both times, and the host scooped after seeing the lotus, also he had something to do
he played eldrazi in game 1, this was game 2

>im usually pretty chill
>this person was the first to make me angry in any way in over 2 years, and the second person to tick me off in over 4. at all. i dont get angry, thanks to this place helping me to laugh things off
i swore in front of my mom, who waited on me to help clean the house for 2 hours while this cunt made a joke out of the term playing for fun

dont play legacy, dont play online only cards, dont play meme decks on a game that lets you play however youd like because CASUAL is THE NAME OF THE SERVER

YOU FUCKING BRITISH CUNT

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>Commander tourney at my LGS
>Playing Nekusar against Mizzix, Gisela 2.0, Tasigur, and Ezuri
>Start off slow, with only 8 lands by turn 12
>Gisela player has ramped like mad with Sun Titan and Burnished Hart
>Ezuri player is a thorn in our sides with his constant creature ramp
>Tasigur player just kinda does his own thing
>Mizzix player comboing off early on and drawing like mad
>He keeps getting pinged by me, and I worry he's gonna get me next
>Gisela player drops an Eidolon of Rhetoric, slowing down the game to a near halt
>After two turns of draw, land, go, Tasigur casts Crux of Fate, wiping our board
>Ezuri is at 3 health from the constant draw damage and occasional swing from Gisela
>The cheeky fuck I am, I cast Cruel Ultimatum to finish him off
>He counters it
>Mizzix counters the counter, finishing the autistic fuck off
>During my end step, Mizzix Radiates a Seismic Spike, and uses the shitton of mana produced to cast Fall of the Titans for 72 damage
>Hold my breath for a second, worried he might get me
>He targets Gisela and Tasigur
>Now it's just me and him, me at 25 health, him at 12
>It's turn 26+
>I finally draw my Sol Ring
>And all the land I was lacking
>I cast my puzzle box and pass
>He is down to 3 life now
>And then he kills me with a forked fireball, his 12 XP counters on Mizzix finally paying off
>It turns out he drew it thanks to my Puzzle Box
>We laugh, the two hour long game finally over

>>50072894

Did he throw it to you and say 'Catch' ?

>Be two years ago
>Casual night at the FLGS, every card ever allowed
>Decide to use my scraped together mono red I build for funzies
>Do surprisingly well against a proper decks
>Against a control deck, can't remember which one
>Get him down to 2 hits before he stabilizes
>Can't do shit
>One card in hand
>He begins gloating all the while elongating the game as much as possible
>Realize what he is doing and go along with it
>Find Assault in there, decide to take it to my other hand and keep twirling it around without using it while playing normally otherwise
>Down to my very last card, that being the Assault i've been twirling
>Tells me that it's my turn and laughs, telling me to use my secret weapon
>"I Assault your face"
>Throw the card at his face, gets stuck between his front teeth
>We laugh and call it a night

>>50074330
nope, though it would have been very funny
even today I have no idea who that guys was

>>50072894
How I started playing Magic too

>"Why don't you play magic instead of yugioh?"
>Here, I'll give you a deck, just trade me any yugioh card so I'm not just getting ripped off.
>Got a shitty starter deck for a Battle Ox

I didn't even know the kid.

>>50074051
But none of the power nine are legal in legacy. Also why did t you just leave after his first turn ? He would obviously win at that point. And in no way did that game take two hours to play.

3/10 story mate, and that being goddamn generous

>>50076003
i will explain
the game took 2 hours because he had no win conditions or deck searching. he pretty much countered every spell we had, then drew a fuckton and played cards that had little effect on anything, like the moxen or another land so he could counterspell more.
we had no clue that the cards were banned, desu.
i thought he would win, but he just sat there with nothing and boardwiped, pulling dack fayden and 2 jaces.
i was mad. it wasted my time when i wanted to play hedrons again and i had class, and i had to clean the house but this fucker was here.
he was worse than the 14 year old who came in and flipped the table then left. (theres a rewind funycion)