Noob GM Wants Your NPCs

Do yourself a favor and just figure out how to make good npcs instead of trying to copy others

http://theangrygm.com/what-even-is-an-npc/

>>50048864
>the angry GM
Fucking garbage.

>>50048864
rude

Tony the city guard who has a severe case of not my job, not my problem

1d4chan has some fun notable characters. My favorite is Crazy Hassan. https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hassan

The only other one I can think of is that wereboar assassin (what's his name?)

>>50047638

1.) An undead Bretonnian knight from Mousillon who was cursed after slaying a necromancer he chased all the way to Sylvania. 'Lives' as a Faceless, trying to fight the corrupt and bring down the pain on the heads of nobles who are wicked by drawing the attention of their betters. Could be played for comedy by having him fight 'injustices' that...aren't, at least not outside Bretonnia.

2.) The obnoxious bastard son of a Sigmarite lector. Ill tempered and petulant. Thinks of himself in a hero in waiting (and does actually do good things), but is so disconnected from normal people and so unreflective that he often just makes things worse.

3.) Hideously warped Strigoi vampire count travelling by river, trying to feel out allies for a stab at retaking Strigos. Cruel, proud, dismissive of commoners, but not without a twisted sense of honor and gentlemanly conduct.

4.) A tremendously loud, surprisingly sanguine troll slayer. Reasons that there's no call to live in angst, for as long as he's earnestly seeking death, Grimnir will eventually provide. Yells all the time, always. Snores just as loud when sleeping. The son of a ranger, so he's worldly and knowledgeable about humans compared to most dwarfs. Somewhat disliked by his kin due to his offensive lack of existential angst and vagabond parentage.

5.) A dwarf tavern keeper. Wears dentures made out of orc teeth, from the orc that punched his old teeth out. A neat freak who caters to Nuln's poorest working men. Owns a dog, Shitbreath, but be careful - he likes to bite faces.

6.) A Kislevite barber-surgeon who became fascinated with embalming and alchemy. Studied forbidden lore seeking ways to prolong her life. Dabbled in necromancy. Travelled to Cathay to learn strange alchemical secrets. Runs a riverside hotel, from where she kidnaps and vivisects travellers on holidays, keeping the parts she likes and using Cathayan secrets to incorporate them into her body.

>>50053213
Oinkbane.

>>50053546
7.) A somewhat-eccentric veteran recently awarded a captain's commission in a freshly-formed knightly order created solely to flatter Countess Emmanuelle of Nuln, and to give bored but we'll connected Wissenland dandies something to brag about. Actually wants to make the knightly order respectable. Behind hare-brained schemes like pump-driven water wagons to fight fires in the slums, as well as attempting to develop a 'thunder lance' as a signature weapon befitting a knightly order of Nuln - basically a bomb strapped to a long lance.

>>50053648
8.) A lying, foul-mouthed, spiteful, easily-angered halfling rat catcher. Very sympathetic to the plight's of society's most despised, among whom he is, after all, counted. Used to like to pretend he was a wizard until his hijinks caused a fire and got people he cared about hurt. His 'partner' isn't a dog, but a gigantic white rat variously known as a 'rat traitor' or 'rat royalty' named the Baroness. (This was actually a PC, player had to bow out.)

>>50047638

One of my favorite NPCs was also a magic item. Zuzu is a powerful demon trapped inside of a hat. It is a normal wizardy looking black cap. However, when you put it on Zuzu can speak with you. He'll offer up hidden knowledge in return for something. In my system he trades secrets for permanent points of luck but it can be any stat that makes sense for your game. Zuzu is a scheming trickster who knows all things lost to man since the beginning of written history. Over time, the owner of the hat might eventually learn that Zuzu is trapped in the hat, banished there as revenge by a jealous lesser demon. Zuzu's ultimate goal is to get the fuck out of the hat and get back to his plane so he can fuck that other demon up for what he did. The player who had the hat never got far enough to find out what Zuzu can actually do with his powers, but he would always be whispering small secrets to the player as he spent a lot of Luck on Zuzu. Just one of the perks.

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dumping some of my favorite character greentexts

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>>50054174

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>>50054194

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>>50047638
You must base your adventures around the lyrics of queen songs, this is non negotiable.

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>>50053213
>>50053600

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>>50054229

>>50053213
If my PCs ever end up in Araby, Crazy Hassan will be there.

As warhammer before it went full grimdark was quite humorous in Monthy Python way I'd use Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler as recurring shady seller of worthless shit.
http://discworld.wikia.com/wiki/Cut-Me-Own-Throat_Dibbler

>>50056182
This is a good idea.

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Sounds like you could use Farkle Hoarkerfien!

Farkle is an unscrupulous merchant I utilize in multiple games across genres. He is human, sounds and looks finnish and is an unscrupulous piece of shit... But he does his best to have what you need.

He always refers to himself in the third person and sells mostly junk, but he likes offering quests to help you get what you need for a price.

>>50053781

9.) A cheerful, helpful scrawny manlet of a coachman more hair than body, with a blunderbuss and a soft spot for people in trouble. Owned a raven named 'Bastard' on account of the fact that its previous owner (a lawyer, found dead on the side of the road) had taught it only profanity.

>>50047638

I've got two ideas, and i just know one of them is way over the top, but...

Kindly, chipper medic with a heavy bent on diagnostics, strict-ish adherence to the Hippocratic Oath (or setting equivalent) and skills to back up his no-lost-patients clause. Has a brother who he ended up nearly killing in the womb due to inadverdently taking all of his growth for himself, who he's trying to frankenstein up a body for out of donor organs and whatever he can salvage from the morgue with the dead patient's consent. Brother's inadverdently become a bit of a pet project out of said bro's own insistence. Basically cross Gregory House with Patch Addams and add a touch of Edward Elric.

And here's the one that probably won't fit...

A generally unremarkable gal with little to no known magical prowess but godlike potential for it, not to mention some occasional training received from her misguided parents. Said parents are Mary Sue-levels of overpowered, to the point that their backstory outright says they can't be killed, and even if they are, they have a eternal get-out-of-afterlife-for-free pass, are excessively coddling and overprotective, and she just wishes they could go away so she could have adventures at her leisure with actual danger and no god-tier parents making short work of the rather chumpish monster before she even gets her sword bloody.

>>50053781
I quite like this one. But how would the rat deal with Skaven?

>>50049465
>this post
Fucking garbage.

>>50052186
What's rude about it? OP literally said he wants to copy our NPCs.

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>>50047638
So here's a table of Gothic NPCs for handy use.

>>50059063
Mostly the Baroness squeaked in fear when she heard the Skaven around, and the halfling (before meeting the PCs) generally made himself scarce.

>>50059545
why even complain when he even offered up an idea of his own.

sharing is caring anon

>>50059545
angry gm is pretty shit

>>50059861
You're pretty shit.

>>50059859
Nobody's complaining, I'm just stating a fact; being able to make good NPCs on your own is superior to trying to copy someone else's.

>>50060004
Well, I'm a noob. I'm also using campaign modules because I'm not trying to make campaigns on my own. Seems stupid.

If I want to change something, I will.

Take Empire in Flames, for example. It goes completely off the rails, considering the earlier tone of The Enemy Within. But, as a campaign ender, The Empire at War doesn't feel like a suitable replacement for players who don't care about politics. So, I'm putting them together, doing some editing.

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>>50047638
Bob Ross is a priest. He appears whenever your PCs are down to give them a pep talk

A cast-out skavenslave living among the worst gutters of the biggest cities, or the most fog-encircled bogs of the worst swamps. Knows many secret and valuable things about his former masters, who he despises. Despite a fawning, servile personality, he catalogues every insult, slight, or offense (real or imagined) with a mind to pay them back ten-thousandfold.

Bunp

An Arabyan magi secretly funding the allies of Mallobaude on behalf of his master, who is still bitter about the crusades.

>>50053546
>>50053648
>>50053781
I like those, just wanted to say thanks for typing them down

>>50056182
If we're talking Discworld, why not lift the Night Watch wholesale? There are enough really interesting and amusing characters just there to run for years on.

>>50065376
No problem

>>50047638
I have some from my shadowrun games that probably could translate well into fantasy
>A hacker (or mage) ends gets caught up in a revolution and accidently and indirectly causes the deaths of thousands. An mass murdering assassin is sent to kill him.
>the fall in love and runaway together and get menial jobs at the local corps (castle)
>their kids have secretly been taking a jobs from a fixer on the weekends (adventurers guild)
>the entire family is incredibly dangerous
>and very friendly

and
>Sandra the Ghoul Too Cool For School
>Runs a diner that caters to undead and non-undead.
>its very kitch
>has a spell cast on her place that will hurt any patron that tries to hurt another patron for 24 hours of entering
>buys bodies from local towns that want to keep the dead at bay and make life and unlife a little bit easier for everyone involved
>Sandra also happens to be one of the best singers in the country and performs on a random days
>keeps the place packed at all times

>>50047638
http://whothefuckismydndcharacter.com

Example I got for you:
BOSSY HALF-ORC WARLOCK FROM THE BADLANDS WHO HAS A BAD HABIT OF MAKING 'FUNNY' QUIPS AFTER EVERY KILL

>>50056182
I like it. I'm using a campaign from the First Edition of Warhammer Fantasy, so it's prior to much of the grim dark and still uses a lot of humor.

Some of it is downright childish (which I'm removing), but funny NPCs are what I'm looking for. Gotta make them memorable. I'm hoping for people I can include early and then reintroduce. The early parts of the adventure are around Altdorf/Bogenhafen (the capital province of Reikland), eventually leads the players north, to Middenheim, and then finally all the way to Kislev (Russia) before trekking back to Altdorf.

For those familiar with The Enemy Within (whoo 80's campaigns), I'm using a GM Supplement I found on Scribd to fix the "Something Rotten in Kislev" section.

A halfling crime boss known as the Baker, because...well, he bakes a mean pie. Sometimes with...interesting ingredients. Slowly being consumed by paranoia and his collapsing health, owing to abuse of the drugs his gang peddles. Sidekicks include his chief enforcer, a silent, funereal Kislevite who everyone thinks was a member of the Taarina's Cheka, but who is in fact a failed actor from Praag who left Kislev after his old lover left him. His right hand is a woman from Sylvania, a stunner who is quite ready to let the rumor that she is a vampire, an exiled noblewoman, or both spread.

A doctor in the poor districts of Nuln who serves even the most destitute in surprisingly clean environs. A prissy man, egotistical, with an alcohol problem. Buys corpses of criminals from bounty hunters, who after all only need the head. Convinced that most of his colleagues are necromancer or stooges for the witch hunters.

>>50067723
This is some awesome shit.

>>50067755
I feel liek this is a reference to something I'm not catching.

An old woman everyone just calls granny. Runs a 'store' in the slums built out of literal cast off garbage. For the people of the merest means, she's a vital lifeline, selling odds and ends and even some meat (don't ask where is came from). Accepts coin but usually deals in barter, whether of other junk or...services. known to be a woman to see for a surprising variety of facts. New roughs who mess with her meet very unfortunate ends, assuming they don't vanish altogether.

A Hochlander who lost everything in the Storm when his village was raided by beastmen. Lost his daughter and his home to a white bestigor. Fought and wounded it with his woodsman's axe, but lost a leg and was left for dead. Survived, and hunts the beast with monomaniacal fury. Comes dressed in furs, leather, and tattered clothing. Wears numerous religious trinkets. Fashioned a hat out of a dead Beastmen's head and horns. Mostly prefers to hunt with a bow, but has kept his axe all these years so that when he meets the bestigor again, he can pick off where he left off dismember in it.

>>50067627
Hey, The Enemy Within! My fondest GMing memory, I've been wanting to run it again for some time. Not to hijack the thread, but what are you changing?

Shadow over Bögenhofen is not that good, btw. Death on Reik and Power Behind the Throne is where TEW shines.
Some of my own alterations back in the day include a giant undercity under Altdorf where the mutants hide, as well as introducing the colleges from later lore. Can't remember any NPCs I made, beyond a Dwarven innkeeper named Gimar Halfbeard who had adopted a human girl as his daughter. Also Shadow Elves.

>>50068396
I'm changing quite a lot, actually, as I'm going to be setting it within the current continuity (sans End Times nonsense and AoS obviously).

It's going to be set in 2500 IC -- two years before the election of Karl-Franz. The current emperor is Luitpold (I'm just gonna call him Leopold for my players because pronouncing Luitpold is awkward). Leopold is Karl-Franz's father. In order to preserve the "Crown Prince Wolfgang is a mutant" storyline, I'm making Wolfgang Karl-Franz's older brother.

Moreover, as opposed to the petulant, tantrum-throwing buffoon he's described as in Empire in Flames, I will be replacing him with the barebones descriptions we got from the Empire in Chaos interview, wherein he is a heroic figure to the players and the players think they'll be getting a happy ending.... until he does the "scratch the nose; touch the ear" signal of the Purple Hand to the Kastor Lieberung double. And they realize they're about to help a cultist become Emperor.

In addition, Something Rotten in Kislev is scrapped save the setting. The story's going to take place in Erengrad and revolve around a Skaven plan to take the port and kill all of its inhabitants (borrowing heavily from Terror in Talabheim for Second Edition).

The basic structure of Empire in Flames remains, but with more of the cult activity and politics of Empire at War, and most of the "fantastic beasts" and pegasus flocks are removed (to keep the finale grounded like the rest of the campaign). Yet, I'm undecided about Ghal Maraz. Part of me likes the fantastic "seek the grail" vibe it has, but I also don't want to deviate too much from the current warhammer canon. I may say that the Emperor's hammer is just a facsimile meant to represent Sigmar's hammer.

Karl Hans-Wasmeier and the Purple Hand will take a greater role. The Purple Hand in general will be more detailed and I'm using Empire at War's plotlines to give some closure to the Kastor Lieberung story.

>>50068396
Part 2:

I'm also using the Empire at War "Save the Emperor" plotline, but I'm subbing out Emperor Leopold for Prince Karl-Franz and his wife (Boris Todbringer's daughter), so as to better familiarize the players with the Emperor-to-be and make them give a shit about making him Emperor (as opposed to Heinrich Todbringer, as in the original material).

Finally, a minor change is I'm scrapping all of Johannes Teugen's pseudo-vampire qualities because they were only mentioned in Shadow's appendix, anyway.

>>50068396
A lot of my changes are coming out of these two supplements:

>Empire at War
http://www.madalfred.com/scenarios/EmpireAtWar.pdf
Meant to be a replacement for Empire in Flames

>GM Companion to Enemy Within
https://www.scribd.com/doc/220147580/The-Enemy-Within-A-Companion
With edits to all parts.

But the Karl-Franz, Wolfgang, Leopold changes are my own invention.

>>50069951
>Moreover, as opposed to the petulant, tantrum-throwing buffoon he's described as in Empire in Flames, I will be replacing him with the barebones descriptions we got from the Empire in Chaos interview, wherein he is a heroic figure to the players and the players think they'll be getting a happy ending.... until he does the "scratch the nose; touch the ear" signal of the Purple Hand to the Kastor Lieberung double. And they realize they're about to help a cultist become Emperor.

I like this.

>>50072098
What I'm thinking of is this:

The players are in Altdorf or on the way and per Empire at War, they are dragged into the plot to assassinate the Emperor, but instead of the Emperor, it's Karl-Franz and his wife, the daughter of Boris, and the plot is meant to make it seem like Sigmarites were responsible, hopefully drawing Boris Todbringer into the brewing civil war once his daughter and son-in-law are murdered.

Make it a Red Crown plot, so Wolfgang, a member of the Purple Hand, has reason to intercede.

The players are defending the Lady Todbringer and fighting alongside Karl-Franz, when the Crown Prince Wolfgang von Holswig-Schliestein arrives with the Reiksguard and heroically sees off the assassins.

Later, while Karl-Franz is recuperating and comforting his wife, Wolfgang meets privately with our adventurers to thank them personally. With a couple of Reiksguard, he gives them a pouch of gold (for funsies) and thanks them, looking every bit a noble, heroic lord.

Then, as the Reiksguard are filing out of the room, Wolfgang stops in the door way. Scratches his nose, touches his ear, smiles at the group, and leaves.

OHHHH FUUUUUUCK.

Morr's Dead Men, a subcult of the Cult of Morr, made up of men and women with slow-acting but terminal illnesses, as well as a dedicated group of healthy Morrites who have made premature peace with death. Leprosy, cancer, syphilis...all things that make death go from abstract to concrete. Men who join this sub-cult attempt to make peace with the inevitability of death, spending their time in meditation and contemplation of Morr. Through the use of sacramental drugs, they attempt to open themselves to Morr's aspect as a master of dreams. It is believed by some Morrites that these faithful, due to their closeness to death, have more prophetic dreams.

Morr's Dead Men go into the most forsaken places - disease-infested ghettos and quarantine wards, warpstone-blighted lands, colonies of exiled diseased. Their purpose is to give those who all else have forsaken dignity in death. They have a militant side as well: the Dead Men throw themselves into battle against the forces of necromancers and other unclean abusers of the dead like berserkers; some even set themselves on fire before doing so, to prevent their enemies from using their corpses. Results are mixed.

The Dead Men of Morr have a complex relationship with those brave Shallyans who mercy in plague-stricken areas. Of course, these women and few men are at huge risk for being attacked and robbed, or held hostage in misguided attempts to ransom their way to freedom. The Dead Men will escort Shallyans with or without their permission: often their mere presence is enough to frighten away any jackals, obviating the need for the Shallyans to reconcile their vows of peace with tolerance of violent fanatics.

Morr's Dead Men dress in black robes with white sashes. In public, they wear metal or ceramic masks fashioned after the top portion of the human skull, sans the lower jaw. The Dead Men, due to their often horrific and dangerous personal ailments, live in isolated monasteries, often feared and loathed.

An old, hulking, crazy Morrite priest who has dedicated his entire life to hunting vampires, and rather successfully, too. Relies on prophetic dreams sent by more an animal-keen instincts to survive his prey. Rather than the sneaky route most vampire hunters take, he's very direct, and effective enough a combatant that he can win out in a fight. Something of a scary bedtime story to younger vampires, especially Lahmians. Attempts to have him assassinated have been met with frustration, owing (some whisper) to his genuine favor from Morr.

Carries a modified crossbow for launching silver-tipped stakes, a pair of heavy silvered handaxes, and incendiary bombs. Has all manner of Morrite charms and folk-weapons on his person associated with defeating vampires (poppy seeds, sawdust, salt, bombs laced with daemonsbane and garlic). Wears a gaudy mirror around his neck on a silver chain.

He's the sort of guy that you cross the street to avoid, just in case. Twitchy. Suspicious. Rude. Speaks partial thoughts aloud. Doesn't care about comrades, who are always temporary.

>>50047638
I've got a few that I've used in my games, some of which aren't important at first glance. Or at all, I just like putting people in to make the world feel more lived in.

>>A Cathayan man who wears red silk and a small black hat. Tends to the gardens of an Imperial castle. Apparently doesn't speak Reikspiel, so everyone calls him Han. Started trimming hedges and pruning flowers and nobody bothered to stop him.

>>Ogre mercenary who is hunting down his old Man Eater company because they told him to wait for them to come back, and he did. For five years in Lustria. Called 'Lunk' by non-ogres because his real name 'Lunkcogreothric' is too hard to pronounce.

>>Duke Leopold von Bildhofen. An established character but I fleshed him out to be incredibly vain and calling for secession from Middenland and to revive Drakwald, with him as its Elector Count. Has a very flattering painting of himself above his bed and uses the local insane asylum to get rid of his political rivals as well as the unwanted in Carroburg.

>>Brann Stonefist. Dwarfen leader of a sect of thieves and killers known as the Double Dagger Society. Trades in illegal goods, information and extortion. Regularly uses other dwarfs oaths against them for use as muscle, doesn't care at all for honour or duty.

>>Commander Vitale Amanti. Leader of the Golden Hawks mercenary company. Famous for his defeat of a greenskin army twice the size of his, he is also well known for his practicality. In a vicious rivalry with the commander of the Black Hawks company. What's not known is his link to the Knights of Magritta.

>>50076156
Cont.
>>Venneraxis, time travelling Lord of Chaos. Head of the Cult of the Third Eye, Venneraxis was the last being alive in his timeline. Far into the future, the Chaos Gods were dead and reality began to unravel when he stumbled, dying, upon an altar. On it was a gem called the Pendant of the Undying, and a weapon called the First Spear. Using the power in this weapon, the last vestiges of the dead Chaos Gods, he opened a tunnel to the current year where he plots to avert the End Times and keep the war going indefinitely.

>>Membsa Eb-Saeed, Arabyan merchant with the uncanny ability to appear wherever he's most needed. Very colourfully dressed, carries a slender curved sword and pulls a stubborn mule with all his wares. Most of his items are mundane but a few are special indeed. Quite knowledgeable and not at all squeamish when it comes to customers of different lands or creed, so long as they can pay.

>>'Emperor' Kruger von Walt, Border Prince and former Inner Circle Knight of the Reiksguard. Found out some terrible secret about his Order and fled to the Border Princes and founded a small but competent princedom. His armies are well trained and are quite capable of making client kingdoms of his neighbours.

>>Lord-Constable Odo, commander of the city watch of Montfort. Often goes out on patrol as he hates riding a desk. Likes to get his hands dirty when it comes to dealing with criminals and isn't afraid to lean on one. Considers his knightly vows a guideline and usually not applicable concerning crooks and thieves.

>>50047638
Ivan and Gustov.
Ivan the ancient peddled of magical artifacts. Part time clairvoyant orb reader, and full time con artist.
Ivan is too weak to travel on his own, so he relies heavily on his personal friend and bodyguard, Gustov.
Who of course gets first dibs on the cool magic rings.

Ivan sold a particular ally powerful magic sword to a bbeg, and the players were encouraged to get it back.

and a bump for this one too

>>50056182
And thats cuttin me own throat

>>50065434
>>50056182
I've got versions of Rincewind and Death wondering around my setting

Every now and then, a red robed wizzard sprints by followed by the luggage, running from some unseen threat

If a character were to die I do my best Christopher Lee and guide them to the afterlife, maybe dropping something profound, sarcastic, or about curry

>>50048864
This. Feed a man to fish, teach a man to fish.

>>50080072

Theres a character right there.

A seemingly kindly old man that feeds men to fish whenever they fail at the Great Art of Fishing. Exclusively hunts in shark infested waters.

>>50047638
An NPC who answers every request for his or her name differently, and seems to be perpetually under the impression they said their name 'correctly' the first time and everyone else is getting it wrong. Everyone else in the town merely refers to them by their occupation to save grief.

>>50080195
would be hilarious if PCs start thinking every time he pops with a new name it's a new guy.

>>50079649
This thread got a lot more attention than I thought it would.

Oink the Midget Hobbit. Really small and can hide in bags. Despite this advantage it has never occurred to him that he could be a great thief, and instead he spends his life drinking in the tavern.

A tomb king seeking revenge on the descendants of th 'northern barbarians' who murdered his father centuries ago, when he was alive.

>>50083065
Midget hobbit?

A poisoner who provides discounts as long as you give a detailed account of the process by which the victim died.

>>50085338
A quarterlet.

>>50047638
Nox from wakfu. Make him your BBEG.

>>50089795
Big Bad Evil Guys don't exist in The Enemy Within (mostly because the campaign was written over a number of years and cobbled together, but also because each part can be run independently).

There are a few villains: Johannes Teugen, Etelka Herzen, Karl Hans-Wasmeier, Prince Wolfgang Holswig-Abenaur. But all of them are dealt with in their own stories (except Karl, who runs away and then the writers forgot he existed).