If I were a Dragon
I would horde:________.
>>50014766
Pretty women
Nuclear Weaponry.
>>50014766
for ants
>>50014766
Princes and shiny stones.
>>50014766
Pretty men
>>50014766
Mongols, I guess.
>>50014766
Reese's peanut butter cups.
>>50014766
Cocks.
>>50014766
Pretty female dragons and make lots of baby dragons?
>>50014766
Whisky.
>>50014766
Wizards
>>50014766
Torches.
It's... um... don't ask. It's a thing I have.
>>50014831
For (you).
>>50014835
Amelia, pls
>>50014766
The horde
>>50014766
Weapons of mass destruction.
It would be the most useful.
And invade china.
So I could hoard gold.
>>50014880
Sorry, not into black cocks. Try again.
>>50014883
Who?
>>50014766
Dragons!
>>50014766
waifus
>>50015031
Wat?!
>>50014982
Have a (you)
>>50014766
>horde
hoard, you illiterate mongoloid.
>>50015461
First off, you're an angry kid.
Secondly, you got beaten to it.
>>50014766
I would use a horde of mongols to hoard my treasure. And fuck all the qt ones as I see fit. Sounds like a plan.
>>50014766
porn.
>>50014816
Underrated post.
>>50014766
bearer bonds.
>>50014784
You're fucking retarded. What kind of slack-jawed fuckwit would even build those things, let alone horde them. This may be /tg/, but can we keep things just a tiny bit realistic?
>>50015624
Lol nope
>>50014873
How the fuck do you fuck them without feeling like a pervert, especially with the teddy bear analogy?
>>50015729
you know the answer, anon
>>50015519
you're still an illiterate mongoloid.
>>50015461
>hoard, you illiterate mongoloid.
Horde, you non-mongol filth!
>>50014766
I would hoard other dragon hoards.
>>50014766
Sports cars and fighter jets
>>50014816
kek
you bastard
>>50016024
>and this is how the dragon central banking system was developed
>>50016106
A dragon banker would make an interesting npc.
>>50014766
B-but entire one?
Ara Ara, how am I going to fit them?
>>50014766
Intelligence and businesses. Respectable business dragon. Went to night school, got my degree in business with a minor in accounting, got my CPA, now I own 3/4ths of the country and they dont even know. I'm looking to add countries to the hoard, but you gotta get the first one in somehow so business and blackmail until then.
>>50014766
Near-naked oiled muscly men. Then I'd have them call me "the Emperor."
>>50014992
Better?
>hoard fine art and historical curiosities
>charge people to visit my museum
>hoard the entrance fees, therefore getting two hoards for the price of one
>dragon-fap to the nude statuary
>>50014766
>If I were a Dragon I would horde:
Other Dragon's hordes. While they are away. For a fee.
Birds in my pussy
>>50014777
>came here to post "bitches"
>beaten by fpbp trips"Woman becomes part of dragon's hoard" is one of my very specific magical realms
>>50014777
I might be with this guy.
Otherwise
Filthy lucre, knowledge and magic items
>>50016466
you have good taste anon
i gotcha, OP
>>50014766
Smaller dragons
>>50014766
Robots
I would hoard other dragon's hoards. All hoards listed in this thread are now mine. I have no safe for work dragon pictures for this thread, sorry.
>>50014873
>teddy bears
>can fuck
>without feeling like a pervert
dafuq
Traps, a lot of which would be heroes trying to slay me whom I've permanently polymorphed into traps.
>>50016466
>Dragon hotglueing life size statues
>>50016835
>collecting beings that live their entire lives in the blink of an eye compared to your own
why not hoard houseflies too
>>50014766
Dragon dildos
>>50016935
>>50014766
reaction images or rare Pepes, maybe both
>>50016835
Very high maintenance, though.
How many boars would the dragons horde before the dragon's hoard got gored?
>>50016970
In fact, I searched specifically to see if anyone did it first, and was shocked to find they hadn't.
>>50016918
Don't your average D&D dragons live to be a few thousand years old? A human lifespan is not exactly a "blink of an eye" in that case. It's like calling humans ridiculous for collecting fish. What's more, some of the traps he hoards could be nonhuman with significantly larger lifespans, such as elven traps.
>>50016918
I'd make them immortal, obviously.
Possibly some kind of mass-scale phylactery built into the lair that they die if they move too far away from, thus ensuring that they could not rebel even if they wanted to.
>>50016998
Dragons in D&D CAN live forever
>>50017060
this.
>>50017096
Oh come on
>>50014766
Other Dragons
Cheese.
>>50017159
Imagine the fucking smell.
>>50016135
Shadowrun.gif
If you have to hoard things based on your occupation/lifestyle I would end up hoarding teeth -_-
Orks would come from miles away to try and steal my tooth hoard.
>>50017218
Are you the tooth fairy?
>>50014766
Books
>>50017249
of porn
>>50017257
of scenery
>>50014766
Beanie Babies.
They'll be worth a fortune one day.
>>50014766
Monsters. Gotta catch 'em all.Anyone else noticing how often "calle" comes up in the legacy CAPTCHA?
>>50017234
>be male dentist
>Have new patient bring in 5 year old daughter
>first words out of the girls mouth were "my mommy says your the tooth fairy"
I just might be the tooth fairy, who knows.
>>50014766
idk, stuff
>>50017279
THOSE TAGS!
THEY AREN'T COVERED!
>>50014766
Nah, I'd alliance.
except gnomes. They can fuck off and die. Last time I ate one of their chickens it turned out to be made of metal, and then it exploded in my face.
Dragons. Think about it: each of them would have a hoard too, and since the Dragons are my hoard their hoards are mine as well.
>>50017765
Delete this and put a spoiler on it.
>>50016308
Lowfyr, go to bed
>>50017301
it's spanish for street
>>50014766
Gold.
>>50014766
Artwork of my own creation. With so much time to be alive I could probably become at all forms of art before my life is even half over. Then I'd spend the rest of my days improving my craft, maybe even teach a college class or two.
>>50014766
I recorded all the MST3K episodes I could while they were on the air. They really are precious, to me.
>>50017249
>>50017257
>>50017277
>Scenery Porn Books
Get your degeneracy to a red board.
>horde
English teachers.
I would keep beehives so I can take the honey and pour it on my humans as I lick them. Then make them maintain my beehives which I sell and horde the profit from which so I can feed my humans whom I lick with the honey
depending on power levels, cultures. I would keep funtioning small kingdoms in time loops of varying length, from all throughout history, shrunken down and sealed away for me to study.
>>50017060
I thought D&D dragons weren't actually immortal, however they live so goddamn long that chances are they get killed first. They grow for their wholes lives, and then they reach a point where they start fading away. It's why dracolichs exist. A dragon realizes that even though he's lived through eons, he still isn't immortal, so for the first time he fears death, as most dragons never reach that point, as they die first, so they panic and become a lich.
>>50014766
History. Documents, artifacts...anything of historical value, even if a collector might turn up his nose at it.
I'll probably just raid a few museums.
>>50018647
How does a dragon raid a museum without destroying all of the precious artifacts?
Better to hoard gold and buy the artifacts legally.
>>50014766
Gifts for muh waifu.
>>50017249
Fucking nerd dragons
Get a real hoard
>>50018668
Do you really think that a big scaly monster could go out and buy the equivalent of the Ara Pacis Augustae?
>>50020145
In humanoid form they could.
>>50020145
You just need an assistant.
>>50020112
I don't know why, but the 'reading is radical' poster just makes me feel legitimately sorry for the dragon.
That's meant to be a funny comic but now I just feel depressed. About an imaginary dragon losing his enthusiasm for linguistics.
Fuck me.
>>50014766
Frozen dairy treats.....all of them.
>>50014766
I would horde your mother out, every night, to multiple gentlemen, if the price was right, my price would be very low.
>>50020346
Ice cream turns to soup as soon as it hits a dragon's fiery breath.
Dragons will never know the true taste of a delicious, frozen treat.
>>50020325
I wish I didn't feel the same way.
>>50020505
unless its an -ice- dragon anon
>>50020505
You Fool! You've just given the dragon to horde them even more! For if the dragon can't have the sweet taste of frozen treats, no one else will either.
>>50014766
Companies.
Mages guilds in particular, but also military companies.
Information.
Books? I am a dragon. Why would I bother storing information on such whimsically small, borderline inaccessible, flammable tomes? So fragile. So expensive to the eco-system. Wasteful.
Why would I not use my great eyesight and magic to immortalize such information on a medium that takes up no more space than a leaf but bears more writable space than a volume of tomes larger than most libraries hold? Why would I not inscribe the data in a format that will last until the stars we gaze at dim their last? Foolish and short sighted. I could have a drawer full of copies of the same tome that will never yellow, crumble, be consumed by mold nor run with water. And all I need are kobolds, instructed on how to make, keep and transcribe data.
All I need for my hoard are peasants, it doesn't matter the race, and an economy. Merchantry. My kobolds are the best notaries, treasurers, bankers, stenographers and similar paper workers to ever bear scales. Bank notes, court transcripts, goods exchanges, legal documents. All mine are of superior quality, immune to degradation and copies openly accessible to any that desire, at any time. Civilization would be foolish not to embrace my methods and gladly join them, as the best form of imperialism is knowledge, technology and exchange of data. All I need to do to assert authority and power is threaten to bottleneck information as penalty to one or to spur them on to advancement to catch up with others.
Good? Evil? If it lives, it desires better for itself. If it desires better, it will co-exist. The way upwards is access to knowledge and information, at any time, in any corner. Even different breeds of spiders will colonize when food is plenty and competition is irrelevant to survival. Trading feelings, knowledge and truth in return for other knowledge. Truth will set them free.
May whatever a transgressor worship have mercy on them if they threaten the free exchange of information. No race above or below the earth will.
>>50019680
Which one is the one that owns the hoard?
>>50014873
Sorry anon, but fucking lizard people is pretty perverted. Butt fucking lizard people is worse.
>>50021817
Lead-based glass is awesome. I want to make a holocron out of it.
>>50016135
I actually had an idea for a campaign that involved a city in the mountains run by banker dragons who acted as an oligarchy.
>>50016835
God Bless you, anon.
I would hoard lolis and make them act out slice-of-life plays for my entertainment.
>>50020112
>9 Divines
>>50021962
So, Swiss dragons?
>>50021992
I mean hey, If you /want/ the Thalmor plan to end the universe to succeed, by all means, continue.
>>50021896
They all forgot centuries ago.
im a fucking Dragon I don't horde shit, I make the bitches bring me anything I want, why, cause I'M A FUCKING DRAGON!
Golems.
>>50022719
>"Get fucked, spellcasting shits!"
>>50014766
Demi-planes.
>>50015624
But nukes are realistic.
>>50014766
Monster Manuals.
>>50014766
>If I were a Dragon
>I would horde:
Books that teach me proper English.
>>50022730
> Go to find some dragon that's been spotted nearby.
> Find it's cave, go inside.
> Instead of gold, find a focal point of dimensional instability in which multiple planes are intersecting.
> Forfeit the bounty and settle down on some farm.
Infrastructure.
>hey fellow dragons! Do you like my model train set? It's run by real mortals!
>>50022815
I just imagined a dragon wearing an oversized conductors cap and curled up atop a mountain, watching the train go around its home.
Optionally, their whelps riding atop the conductor's cart, atop the coal bin, peeking their little heads out the windows.
>>50022852
But would many of the whelps be on the left side, which is labelled with an even number?
If so, how would the train crew handle it?
>>50022857
They'd watch the caboose and keep the dots burning, of course.
>>50022994
Until one of the passengers wakes up from a nightmare and runs screaming into the whelps' car, at least.
>>50022810
>find it's cave
Holy fuck, a cave that is a dragon? We're never gonna win.