THE HEKTOR HERESY

>>49972884
Right. I guess I'm saying that it doesn't come across as ambiguous? This bit, in particular, doesn't sound like ten guys:
>Traditional maneuver elements proved to be ineffectual, personnel often becoming entangled in the twisting halls and streets of the city without armoured elements to provide proper support. To solve this smaller teams were used with extensive air support.

So... if nobody wants to talk about the Traitors... how about that idea that the Stone Men get cut off from the Imperium during the Second Vetrovnak Incursion and remain out of touch for centuries, leading to Terra creating a new "Stone Men" Chapter?

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>>49973707
Fascinating. So whenever they reconnect, they find the Imperium's replacement goldfish and somebody - The Administratum, the original chapter, the phony, the Inquisition, whoever - tries to pull a Highlander and make them kill each other?

Also, how are they cut off again?

>>49973817
>So whenever they reconnect, they find the Imperium's replacement goldfish and somebody - The Administratum, the original chapter, the phony, the Inquisition, whoever - tries to pull a Highlander and make them kill each other?
Or doublethink ensues.

>Also, how are they cut off again?
The Vetrovnak eat a lot of Astropaths. Tasty, tasty Astropaths.

>>49973707
Hello, I've been learning for the past few threads. Drama aside, I like a lot of this. The Stone Men are my favorite. If people are writing chapters, can I give them a shot?

>>49973889
Do you mean a new Stone Men Chapter founded in M32? We don't have a lot of material to support that.

>>49973937
Okay. Nevermind then.

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>>49973840
>Or doublethink ensues.
Maybe they're merged together.

Then, to be in line with the whatever-we're-calling-our-codex-astartes-again, they get culled via crusade.

In the interim between getting cut off and reconnecting they meet new friends, like the Morkai that I'll get to work on now that we're reaching M32.

>The Vetrovnak eat a lot of Astropaths. Tasty, tasty Astropaths.
Couldn't messages be transported by hand through voidships? Astropaths aren't vital to void travel, just navigators.

>>49969684
>>49969992
>>49970025
I've realized I can save myself a lot of work if I push the Pacificus Campaign into the Great Scouring. I'll have to write less for the Scouring because it's already there, and what I write for the Heresy wouldn't need to be much if it's confined to the Al-Sherar Sector and the area surrounding it.

>>49973978
Sorry, that was a fast reply - I don't mean that it's a bad idea, just that you'd be going out on a limb. We're only developing the events of the Vetrovnak Incursion right now, so nobody could tell you with any certainty what's going on in the Galaxy afterwards.

If you're OK hanging fire, the picture should solidify.

>>49974008
My intention is to have our cake and eat it too, getting a noble heirs to the great Primarch Onyx in the Imperium AND a balls-to-the-wall crazy "REALM OF ONYX" in the Ghoul Stars.

>Couldn't messages be transported by hand through voidships?
They can, although the Vetrovnak also wreak havoc on Imperial shipping. The Imperium does re-establish communications, it's just that Ultima is freaking huge.

> I can save myself a lot of work if I push the Pacificus Campaign into the Great Scouring.
I'm not sure I see it, but maybe?

>>49974067
Sure.

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>>49974067
>>Couldn't messages be transported by hand through voidships?
>They can, although the Vetrovnak also wreak havoc on Imperial shipping. The Imperium does re-establish communications, it's just that Ultima is freaking huge.
40K communication is shitty, but for "We're pretty sure this chapter is gone because we're not getting any messages from them" level the most feasible options is a warp storm. A blockade would need to be airtight, and that's kind of difficult in space.

>> I can save myself a lot of work if I push the Pacificus Campaign into the Great Scouring.
>I'm not sure I see it, but maybe?
Okay, so everything under the Pacificus Campaign on the Markian Corps page? I move it to the Scouring instead of the Heresy. Bam, no longer have to write for the Scouring. Just need to flesh out the defense of the Al-Sherar Sector more. Give a few edits to the Pacificus Campaign, and I can introduce the Psi-titans legion on Cykarox. After that, if Alexandri is cool with it, I can write for the Rosskan Strelky in the Heresy and the Scouring.

Quite possibly, I can make Markia, Ciban IV, and Rosskar the trinity that sets the foundation for the Imperial Guard.

Life gets easier for me.

>>49974644
>40K communication is shitty, but for "We're pretty sure this chapter is gone because we're not getting any messages from them" level the most feasible options is a warp storm. A blockade would need to be airtight, and that's kind of difficult in space.
Yeah, so I kinda go into more detail with it on the Incursion page, but the basic deal is that the main relays in Ultima get nommed and the remaining astropaths are freaking out and whole planets are being kidnapped and the Warp is just insane for ages.

Plus the Stone Men make for the very edge of the Galaxy because... umm... I guess they think that's where the Vetrovnak came from?

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AHHHHHHHHHHH

>>49974644
>Psi-titans legion
Is this like...Something EVERYONE is chill with?

Cause, like, they were/are super classified last I checked, and this isn't Asunder levels of silliness right?

>>49974842
If in doubt, I always advocate for less silliness, rather than more.

But that's just me.

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>>49974842
>Cause, like, they were/are super classified last I checked, and this isn't Asunder levels of silliness right?
It dates back to Rogue Trader. Page 7 of Adeptus Mechanicus. It's not really one of the sillier things from that time.

Not like it's infeasible. You can either find the most powerful psykers and use them as princepes, or get a council of psykers inside of a titan's cockpit. Either way, it would be a powerful weapon against Chaos.

>>49974824
For clarification the text in the Great Crusade section of the Crimson Eagles is fucked up (its in a text box) and I don't know why or how to fix it.

>>49974965
Okay, not too unreasonable I suppose.

What are the chances of our Grey Knights having one? Just a hypothetical, since the idea is growing on me

>>49974868
Same, but the idea has grown on me, and I'll probably utilize it later. There's a distinct difference between silly and fun, however slight

>>49975116
>For clarification the text in the Great Crusade section of the Crimson Eagles is fucked up (its in a text box) and I don't know why or how to fix it.
Fixed.

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>>49975116
>What are the chances of our Grey Knights having one? Just a hypothetical, since the idea is growing on me
Having a titan? Now THAT is silly, and that's coming from someone who has giant dogs and Metal Gear in their plans for the future.

As parts of separate institutions, and the Adeptus Mechanicus being what it is, that the neutral-colored feudal warriors would have a titan is rather far-fetched. In all likelihood, though, they would work together. They would also both have origins in the Hektor Heresy, as they both intended to be weapons against Chaos.

The titan legion moreso than the other guys

>>49975189
What was the issue? I'm not quite sure what I did

Is it the Great Scouring or the Great Scourging?

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>>49974842
I say we need MORE psy-titans (and other silly shit). Warhammer doesn't always have to be grimdark and gritty/realistic. We can still do some really bonkers stuff.

Hell, 80% of the setting is bonkers in some way, we just don't notice it as much as much because we're used to it.

For example, if you're looking at things practically, the crazy part of "psy-titan" isn't the "psy".
>mfw accidentally admitting the tau did something right

>>49975263
Scouring.

>>49975201
>>49975116
Titans are kind of counterproductive, given the Grey Knight's mission statement. If things have gotten that bad that the grey knights need a titan, they've already fucked up bad.

>>49975201
>and that's coming from someone who has giant dogs and Metal Gear in their plans for the future.

O fuk.

I was planning on Caligor becoming a Big Boss like character and the Crimson Eagles becoming like the MSF/Diamond Dogs

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>>49975288
>For example, if you're looking at things practically, the crazy part of "psy-titan" isn't the "psy".
Both parts of that are crazy.

>>49975309
>Titans are kind of counterproductive, given the Grey Knight's mission statement. If things have gotten that bad that the grey knights need a titan, they've already fucked up bad.
There isn't a magical wizard Godzilla the Grey Knights can count on, so they'll have to settle with titan support.

>>49975321
I was just gonna do an unconvention IG regiment centered around walking artillery.

>>49975288
Mostly I just can't see more than a few handfuls of these psy-titans existing in the entire Imperium.

They'd be arcane technology on the very highest echelon of rarity and difficulty to construct.

>>49975309
Fair point. The idea has been discarded. Besides if we do fully evolve this house Idea they should have specialists for pretty much every contingency

>>49975288
Hey, you're right man. Hell, I'm eventually going to pull something like >>49975321 complete with RULES OF NATURE heretek cyborgs, a metal gear like super weapon in their back pocket, and psycho mantis psykers.

Hopefully not AS on the nose, though

That's why I liked ronin's samurai dudes and this whole house idea. Is fun

Anyways, back to the salt mines

>>49975344
>There isn't a magical wizard Godzilla the Grey Knights can count on
Actually...


I'd been having trouble coming up with unique LoW slots for the Adepts (Grey Knight equiv), and wizard godzilla might work...


Maybe Tiran's sons lend them some overgrown sors, and the Adepts do some crazy gene manipulation shit to make their ew dinosaur become an immortal psyker wizard dude.

That might actually be a cool way of introducing dragons to the setting. Massive, overgrown gene-manipulated wizard lizards that live forever and learn all kinds of arcane lore as they study over time. I might have to see if I can actually make this a thing.

>>49975465
On second thought, they'd work far better as a xenos race than an imperial client race.

I imagine personalities somewhere between D&D dragons and the Leviathan from mass effect, looking like a giant cybernetic dinosaur serpent thing.

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>>49975465
>I'd been having trouble coming up with unique LoW slots for the Adepts (Grey Knight equiv), and wizard godzilla might work...
NO.

>Maybe Tiran's sons lend them some overgrown sors, and the Adepts do some crazy gene manipulation shit to make their ew dinosaur become an immortal psyker wizard dude.
The resulting abomination is a creature of warp-taint and an agent of Chaos.

>>49975519
Yeah, they couldn't work too well within the imperium, but someday I might right up a xenos race of psychicly powerful giant immortal lizards who rule over weaker-minded slaves.

>>49975465
What if the big four houses' psykers can call upon their lost progenitors, or a projection of a hero of old or an avatar of their house.

Like the Ronin house (House Orochi?) could summon their lost Primarch like Kaldor Draigo, or create a mind projection of him.

Or the Puritan House (House Seraph?) could have a Sanguinor figure, like the blood angels, be it summoned or spontaneously generated via their gestalt zeal. It would be even funnier if we made them like Black Templars and fluffed their psyker powers like the Space Yiffs
>"ITS TOTALLY NOT MAGIC YOU FAGS!"

The shooty house (House Executor?) Could have phantom marines, like legion of the damned type dudes, for melee coverage

The Eagles house could have an Avatar of Khaine or Emperor's Champion like dude who gets jacked on holy fury and charges into battle shooting off blast templates.

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So I was thinking, that with the fiasco with Anorexia the Markian Corps would be aware of the existence of daemons. They wouldn't believe any excuses about xenos or mutants or whatnot; they'd hear about it, see pictures taken by scout craft, and they'd go like,"We need an old priest and a young priest for this shit."Thus they would embrace the Imperial Cult much easier than the Cibanese who did not experience the horror of Nurgle firsthand.

They would also have a fervent hatred of Nurgle in particular.

>>49975687
>Like the Ronin house (House Orochi?) could summon their lost Primarch like Kaldor Draigo, or create a mind projection of him.
NOOOOO

>Or the Puritan House (House Seraph?) could have a Sanguinor figure, like the blood angels, be it summoned or spontaneously generated via their gestalt zeal. It would be even funnier if we made them like Black Templars and fluffed their psyker powers like the Space Yiffs
nooooo

>The shooty house (House Executor?) Could have phantom marines, like legion of the damned type dudes, for melee coverage
Yeahno.

>The Eagles house could have an Avatar of Khaine or Emperor's Champion like dude who gets jacked on holy fury and charges into battle shooting off blast templates.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>49975739
You dont even want to change the grey knights, shush. Adults are talking

>>49975687
Oh, and for tenacious house what about House Canis? Their symbol would be a Pit Bull or something.

Or House Ares, and it would be a ram.

>>49975687
It would very from group to group. I'll have to give it some thought.

Also, at this point I'm fairly close to ruling out the eagles (at least in their BURN THE KIDS TOO) form from the OMCM. We don't want Khornate marines in an anti-chaos force.

>>49975739
Chill zorg, he's just trying to suggest unique units/LoW's for each house.

>>49975795
As their current culture has yet to be established (and won't be, till I start cross-balancing within the codex), speculation may be fun, but may be wasted effort, as changes will likely be made later on.

>>49975739
Oh and btw, you got any other good anime music stuff? Because that german japanese thing was pretty great.

>>49976070
Literally the only thing that stops me from making the Crimson Eagles a Khornate legion is that Infernox fella.

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>>49976084
I would post the Attack on Titan soundtrack, but that shit doesn't have any YouTube vids because of Attack on Lawyers.

I can't think of any other good, dark, anime shit like that besides Attack on Titan's soundtrack.

I have this from a Japanese game though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEk6cKo1l8Y

Less grim, but more German. Japan loves them some German.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmhV_Ca8Bww

Not anime at all, just neat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6s6YKlTpfw

>>49976296
Make them Chaos United where they fall to all the gods but remain united anyway.

>>49976423
Actually I'm just having them go renegade, go full outer heaven then have a Dispute of Iron like civil war were the legion fractures into a horde of microfactions that all want the Eagles to be one thing or another. At this point the Loyalists take the opportunity to Exterminatus Haravi. After that the legion bands back together for the most part, with the chaos aligned microfactions fuck off to do their own thing

So I kinda get my cake and eat it too, I suppose

>>49975215
You angered the machine-spirit.

Space at the start of the paragraph tells the wiki to do a code box.

>>49976837
FUCK

Also thanks, important tip

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So I was looking for other anime German songs when I ended up off the rails and into the animated musicals section of Youtube, and I found this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2A3LaYDlHM

I'm gonna do Exodus now.

But with Chaos.

>>49976296
There's nothing that says we can't have more than one legion falling to any specific god. Khorne is the strongest Chaos God, and the one whose sphere of influence most closely relates to the Astartes, so it makes sense that he might draw the attention of more than one legion. Plus, just because the OU did it one way...

>>49976417
Thanks, I'll look into those. Also, is it just me, or is it painfully obvious how terrible their german pronounciation is, even though I don't even speak german?

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>>49977030
>Thanks, I'll look into those. Also, is it just me, or is it painfully obvious how terrible their german pronounciation is, even though I don't even speak german?
I wouldn't know, ask a German.

Also, watching Anastasia right now. Relevant, Alexandri?

If a Markian and a Rosskan have a baby, is the baby a Communist?

I've been playing around with names for our daemon hunters. These aren't meant to be final or set in any way, but instead act as inspirations for better names, ya dig?

>Adeptus Daemonica
>Chambre Obscura (The chambres militant would be known as Chambre [Whatever])
>Divina Militum
>Divine Fraternity of Knights in the Defense of Mankind in Service of the Most High Throne of Terra and His Immortal Grace, the God-Emperor of Man
>Knights Nikitís
>Templars Exemplar
>Mournwatch
>Fratis Exorcisia

Or something, naming these guys in particular is difficult.

>>49977198
I'd like to stick with Ordo Malleus, but if I may, with the soon-to-be-introduced Legio Maleficarum (Hammer of the Witches) and some third party, we could have a trinity of daemon-hunting organizations called...

>Ordo Trinitas
>Adeptus Trinitas
>Trinita Malleus

>>49977198
>Divine Fraternity of Knights in the Defense of Mankind in Service of the Most High Throne of Terra and His Immortal Grace, the God-Emperor of Man
I like that one.

I think there's an important factor to consider here: we don't need one name, we need five (or possibly four, depending on how Ronin's feeling).

I think the overall order, the entire chambre militant itself could well have one of those long, silly, yet historically referential names that the old monastic militant orders had, like "The Honourable Brotherhood of the Most Devout Adepts of the Glorious Golden Throne of Terra," or your idea up there. Each individual brotherhood, however, should have a name befitting their style.

I'm finally getting bored of The Long Dark, so I should actually have some time to work on the Crunch and Fluff tomorrow.

>>49977292
>I'd like to stick with Ordo Malleus
The Ordo Malleus will still exist, we're talking about their chambre militant. The same way that the Adeptus Sororitas aren't called the Ordo Hereticus, and the Deathwatch aren't called the Ordo Xenos, it wouldn't make much sense to call the OMCM the Ordo Malleus.

>>49977030
Yeah, thats a fair point desu. But I'm kinda married to the idea of them being free agents, then some of the newer dudes falling to chaos then getting told to pack their fucking bags.

They'll work with chaos aligned factions, especially if it means undermining the Imperium or saving their own hides, but I think Caligor is too stuborn and too burned out with shitty commanders to really let anyone be above him, much less another god

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>>49977321
>The Ordo Malleus will still exist, we're talking about their chambre militant. The same way that the Adeptus Sororitas aren't called the Ordo Hereticus, and the Deathwatch aren't called the Ordo Xenos, it wouldn't make much sense to call the OMCM the Ordo Malleus.
Ooooh.

I like Grey Knights.

>>49977292
We need a legio of scout-class invesitagation titans who carefully comb through the teeming hives watching for chaos and corruption, effortlessly blending in with the human populations until the time is right to let loose their apocalyptic weapons. Some of them could even be your psi-titans.

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>>49977347
>We need a legio of scout-class invesitagation titans who carefully comb through the teeming hives watching for chaos and corruption, effortlessly blending in with the human populations until the time is right to let loose their apocalyptic weapons. Some of them could even be your psi-titans.
>invesitagation titans
>effortlessly blending in with the human populations
What the fuck did I just read?

>>49977336
>But I'm kinda married to the idea of them being free agents
Could be like Nightlords and the Black Legion, where most remain unsworn but some give service to a specific god.

>>49977337
Doesn't work all that well, considering that only one of the brotherhoods has strong knightly overtones. If you're really that fond of the grey knights, we could just say fuck it and make the "puritans" basically just vanilla Grey Knights. It would be uninspired, sure, but the grey knights are pretty badass and I could see why people might want to keep them around.

>>49977401
>What the fuck did I just read?
You read something glorious.

>>49977347
I support this one trillion percent, get that shit written up.

>>49977030
The multiple Legions for a Chaos God path has been trod before and certainly doesn't conjure up happy memories. My take on it is that the AU shouldn't take sides too hard otherwise we (a) get bogged down in arguments over which gods are worthy of how many Legions and (b) annoy readers who are not partisans of the winner of those arguments.

(And yes, this thing has readers.)

>>49977401
Subtle trolling of the "Space Marine Spies!" trope?

>>49977347
>giant metal monstrosities patrolling the cities to watch for deviants and mutants
So... Basically sentinels for x men?

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>>49977413
>Doesn't work all that well, considering that only one of the brotherhoods has strong knightly overtones. If you're really that fond of the grey knights, we could just say fuck it and make the "puritans" basically just vanilla Grey Knights. It would be uninspired, sure, but the grey knights are pretty badass and I could see why people might want to keep them around.

>You read something glorious.
>I support this one trillion percent, get that shit written up.
Are we just trying to be as retarded as possible now? A 300-ton war machine cannot disguise itself as a person.

>>49977451
>Subtle trolling of the "Space Marine Spies!" trope?
Prolly. Hide post, move on.

>>49977292
Nononononononononono

You misunderstand (and if all your flat out rejections of ideas have been based on simple misunderstandings we're fighting)

The Ordos are the ordos, factions within the Inquisition. I'm talking about what this Chambre Militant is called

>>49977337
Fugg of

>>49977347
Kek, I like your style sn

>>49977413
>>Doesn't work all that well, considering that only one of the brotherhoods has strong knightly overtones. If you're really that fond of the grey knights, we could just say fuck it and make the "puritans" basically just vanilla Grey Knights. It would be uninspired, sure, but the grey knights are pretty badass and I could see why people might want to keep them around.
>>49977463
Forgot to reply to that. Or maybe I didn't. I don't remember what I was gonna say.

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Should I make a page for the Pacificus Campaign?

>>49977463
The supporting it thing was a joke, as I'm pretty sure that's just an X-Men reference.

The Ordos =/= their chambres militant was not.

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>>49977509
>The Ordos =/= their chambres militant was not.
Your face isn't a joke. Oh!

In the spirit of the OP I'm gonna try and write a short story for the Justicars. Wish me luck.

>>49977463
>A 300-ton war machine cannot disguise itself as a person
Well according to GW, the codexes are the only source of hard canon, and Creed can pass off a warlord titan as a shrubbery in-game, so its not that implausible.

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>>49977552
>Well according to GW, the codexes are the only source of hard canon, and Creed can pass off a warlord titan as a shrubbery in-game, so its not that implausible.

>>49977536
I will remember you, brave sir.

>>49976991
Oh, dude. No, that's not what I meant. It doesn't specifically have to be japanese German stuff, just generally cool anime songs. That Mayan stripper thing was cool too, I just mentioned the German one because its been stuck in my head for two days.

>>49977572
Technically he's not wrong.

>>49977536
Luck has been wished.

>>49977572
Perturbed, my friend?

>>49977413
Yeah, that's the plan. Caligor lets it slide until a conflict ot unlike the Dispute of Iron, where the legion fractures and some reshuffling of personnel is in order. Then the Chaos Eagles leave to start their own legions or warbands with black jack and hookers.

>>49977784
How much of their human lives the the Crimson Eagles remember?

Whatl targets would they favor once they've gone renegade and have too much time on their hands?

If a bird does not sing for Caligor, what would he do?

>>49977321
>I think there's an important factor to consider here: we don't need one name, we need five
Of course! We can cook up the house names later, but right now we need a solid name to work with, one we can throw into bullshit latin and have a shortened form that we can refer to

The core tenants that we can agree with, I think are:

>Its long and stupid, but it works here
>They're Honorable or Divine
>Its a Brotherhood or Fraternity
>They're in service to the Golden Throne/The Emperor/Mankind

I think we need to throw in that they're hidden or that they hunt demons are something. It just needs that little extra to distinguish it from an Imperial Knight(tm) House or fancy Guard Regiment

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>>49977664
>Oh, dude. No, that's not what I meant. It doesn't specifically have to be japanese German stuff, just generally cool anime songs. That Mayan stripper thing was cool too, I just mentioned the German one because its been stuck in my head for two days.
Ooooooh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kua_iJ4bAmo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3u5h9cPTBw
https://youtu.be/NDqbiNmX1ew?list=PL29DA79E9A70534DC
https://youtu.be/qDfIinQAXMo?list=PL29DA79E9A70534DC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaSLEj-oJTU

>49977983
>They're Honorable or Divine
>Its a Brotherhood or Fraternity
>They're in service to the Golden Throne/The Emperor/Mankind
>I think we need to throw in that they're hidden or that they hunt demons are something. It just needs that little extra to distinguish it from an Imperial Knight(tm) House or fancy Guard Regiment
Brotherhood of Titan?

Grey Knights?

Here's the Justicar short story, it's pretty damn abstract cause Tzeentch meddling.

The space marines trudged across the desert, giants in monochrome ceramite. Cresting a massive sand dune, the leader of the squad removed his slit-eyed helm, exposing a hardened face, scarred and weathered by countless battles over aeons. With his one good eye, Sergeant Aric turned to face his fellow gene-brothers.

“Tell me brothers, do you still believe that the mission can be completed?”

To that he was met by absolute silence, none of his men daring to make eye contact with his single azure eye, or even the glowing cybernetic that replaced his ruined left.

“Then it is irrelevant, we move on.”

Ahead of the Justicar assault squad, the winds blew and the sands shifted, revealing the ruin of an Adeptus Astartes battle-barge, half-buried in a dune. The wreck was aged and weathered, for it had crashed in the desert many centuries ago. The marines carefully entered the wreck, carving through weathered plate with chainsword and fist.

The scene within the battle-barge was one of death incarnate. Superhumans in ceramite and fragile humans alike had been reduced to bones and rags, swallowed by the might of the desert. Brother Eodarn gently removed a pauldron from one of the corpses and studied it, noting the engraved wings over the remnants of black paint.

“They appear of be of the Fifth,” he noted. “Armour thickness suggests breacher marines.”

“If they are of the Fifth then we no longer have any purpose here,” Sergeant Aric commanded. “We continue the mission,” he continued as the space marines began their exit from the ruins.

Crossing a gantryway, Eodarn noticed a small untarnished plaque, one of many that would have been installed as ornaments around the ship.

>>49977983
I've been using Adepts as a shorthand thus far.

>hidden
They don't have to be.

>>49978043
‘THE LANCE OF VENGEANCE WHO STOOD FIRM AGAINST THE TRAITORS OF THE IMPERIUM’, it read in High Gothic. Eodarn quietly crushed it in his gauntlet. Nobody else in his squad needed to know that this ship came from a time long beyond theirs.

Upon exiting the wreck, the marines faced Sergeant Aric once more, his bionic eye glaring over them.

“Our mission remains unchanged. We are to find the Ouroboros and reclaim our abandoned ship. Uriel himself has decreed that the circle must be completed.”

“He wills it!” a scattered cry rose up amongst the squad.
“So he has. We move on,” Sergeant Aric led his men onwards, continuing to trudge across the desert. With the laughter of a scheming god the winds blew, burying the wreck once again and leading the marines onwards on their eternal quest.

>>49978009
Well I'm already quite familiar with the first two, but ill give the others a try.

>>49978009
This reminds me that I still gotta work on the 901 nutters.

>>49977813
>How much of their human lives the the Crimson Eagles remember?
When they were a loyalist legion? Distinct memories of home, enough for marines to talk about where they were from and such,Memories of family and friends and those kinds of things are a little more vauge, relationships built within the legion pulled to the fore. After the legion goes traitor they tend to keep a solid recruitment population, men, women, and children kept in spartan conditions (like the actual greek city state, not Demoncubla degeneration). Just like in Sparta young boys are basically taken through hardcore basic training after being born with a bolter in hand and biting off their own umbilical cords. The best of the best are taken as marines, while the rest are either taken back into the "civilian" population or put into the army. These marines tend to remember their whole lives in the same clarity as you or I.

>What targets would they favor once they've gone renegade and have too much time on their hands?
The Imperium, especially high value worlds such as forge worlds, agriworlds, and hives. Sometimes they target civilian populations, sometimes they hit an important target and nothing else, it depends on what they're after and what kind of message they want to send.
Failing jamming up the gears of the Imperium there's one enemy that the Eagles agree is the best to kill in droves
>Fuken Xenos
Caligor hates aliens, especially Eldar, not so much as the rest of the Imperium but because they tend to be a bunch smug assholes. The only exception tends to be Orks, because they see battle in almost the same way he does. Battles between the two tend be full of guffaws and good sportsmanship. Ork Mercs are common once Caligor goes 100% Nuclear (after the destruction of Haravi) and starts redoubling his efforts against the Imperium.

>If a bird does not sing for Caligor, what would he do?
Give it Bread
http://www.armystudyguide.com/content/cadence/marching_cadence/yellow-bird-2.shtml

>>49978046
Ohohoho, yes they do.

>Chaos doesn't exist don't worry about it!
>Hey but here's these guys explicitly made to fight chaos cobbled together from Marines resistant to chaos BUTDON'TWORRYABOUTTHAT

Besides, making them sooper sekret makes it clear that these guys are our Grey Knights.

>>49978527

>>49978341
>>If a bird does not sing for Caligor, what would he do?
>Give it Bread
>http://www.armystudyguide.com/content/cadence/marching_cadence/yellow-bird-2.shtml
I like you.

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Bump.

What's up with Necrons again? Same as canon right?

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>>49979657
>Pic related

>>49980819

Personally this is my list of things that should be kept canon or otherwise untouched

>>>My number one: Literally ANYTHING before the Chaos Gods snatched the babby Primarchs. Anything after that is fine, since the theft of the Primarchs is the point of divergence from the original canon. This includes history, Xenos, Mechanicus, the Gods, named characters such as Eldrad or some Daemons, etc. Nothing before then should be any different than the OU

>Officio Assassinorum. I don't see any reason to really change them up, not in 30k at least. Events can play out pretty much as they did in OU, with the same clades and all that. We can add our own sooper speshul minor temples later on (Lord only knows how bad I want to make a Raiden/Grey Fox/Cyborg Ninja temple) but for now, for simplicity's sake, I think we should leave it alone

>Custodes and Sisters of Silence: I don't see any reason to fuck with them beyond actions taken during the heresy and after.

>>49982045
>>The Large majority of Xenos races: This is really more of a 40k thing, since Nids and Crons and Tau don't really arise until later on. My biggest changes would be
>Farsight, or his equivalent, would be a much more dangerous and rebellious figure. Possibly aligned with Punished Caligor (still trying to figure out whether he would tolerate xenos that aren't smug "mary sue" races like Eldar or Necron. Probably would if they were mercs desu). The Tau Empire would be MUCH larger and encompass more minor xenos, like Rak'Gol and Hrudd and the like
>A distinct split and civil war between Old Crons under the Rule of C'tan who are slowly getting back in shape and New Crons that know the C'tan fucking played them. This keeps them from krumpin' the setting, and should make everyone happy. Hopefully
>Nids aren't as fragmented, but make slower progress due to leaders present that recognize the threat they represent. Even though they are one of the armies I collect, I think relegating them to an "npc/PvE" race will work just fine for a narrative.

>The Beast. Yeah I know the books are shit, but the event itself is pretty neat. An Ork the size of an apartment complex uniting a bunch of orks to near-Krork status? That's awesome. If Ronin and I get our way it would be easy enough to sacrifice the III Legion to create the Ordos Xenos Chambre Militant from the remainders, otherwise it would be neat to see how our Imperium deals with the problem. A good way to build an AU, jn my eyes, is to present similar problems but solve them with different solutions.

>We have SKAWTS right? I'd like to keep that, and a lot of Rouge Trader elements that have gotten lost over the years, albeit altered slightly to fit within our canon.

>>49980819
Maybe? Arelex used to push pretty hard for the Necrons to be somewhat active in the vicinity of the Atalantos Worlds even during the Great Crusade.

>>49982045
We ended up agreeing to a somewhat early point of divergence - different psychic vibrations during the birth of Slaanesh. That justifies the survival of things that died in that cataclysm, so the Eldar remnants end up different, the Komra exist, that sort of thing.

>>49982098
Christ on a crutch above. Can we PLEASE have nothing before or after that until Primarch babbies get shanghaied be different?

I know I'm the Supreme manipulator and a machiavellian villian of staggering proportions, but this isn't me politicking this is me flat out begging to stem the tide.

>>49982090
I wouldn't mind having the Beast attack, with a different name of course and none of that fancy taktiks shit, just straight up xbawks heug orks beating the shit out of the Imperium.

>>49982159
I mean, we have Pallas and the moon shit. Does that count?

>>49982159
>Can we PLEASE have nothing before or after that until Primarch babbies get shanghaied be different?
Well, that would mean cutting:
The Vetrovnak and all material related to them
The Komra
The Harakien Eldar Empire
Arguably two-thirds of the IA outfits
Forge Worlds like Al-Sherar
Non-OU Mechanicum characters
Pallas Eugenesis

That's a pretty massive change so I'd like to know your reasoning.

>I know I'm the Supreme manipulator and a machiavellian villian of staggering proportions
We were discussing the facts, there's no need to start the passive-aggressive stuff.

>>49982164
What about Prime-Orks?

>>49982219
Big Ork Bosses are fine, just not the name. If we're doing Primeorks I demand that we include ork snipers as well, I actually have an idea for them which involves a vengeful mekboy building successively bigger guns.

Regarding the Beast, my preference is to have him and Onyx suplex one another into a star and then trade headbutts for a century or two as they sink into the stellar core.

(Just an idea.)

>>49982214
>The Vetrovnak and all material related to them
What a relief! And here I thought something bad would happen!

>All that other shit
Fuck me. Whatever. Just, whatever. I'll keep opinions to myself. I'll soldier on, finish the Eagles then promptly extract myself from this.

>>49982164
As dumb as it is, and it is fucking dumb, the whole Taktiks bit makes the Beast. They're Mary Sue orks. Now how does the Imperium deal with Mary Sue Orks is the interesting part to me. My answer would be throw a legion without a Primarch at the problem and hope it goes away.

>>49982260
The discussions were had a long ass fucking time ago. We wanted to make things different in other ways than the Legions. Ignoring the xenos changes, which I was always tepid about, all the actual human stuff is perfectly to be expected.

Stop being a whiner because Lumey was a dick to you.

>>49982260
OK? I really was asking for your reasoning, but if you don't want to discuss it I guess I can't make you.

>>49982301
I don't want to make a big deal out of it nor make any real moves to change it because quite honestly I don't have a good answer. Its like when you ask Zorg why he doesn't like the direction Josman, Ronin and I want to take the Daemon Hunters
>I jus don like it

So I'm gunna work on my stuff and do my homework so I know what I'm working with. It's like getting a car that looks prettt simple, then you pop the hood and there's a LOT of shit that you're unfamiliar with.

It's not bad, necessarily, just disorienting.

>>49982293
>Stop being a whiner because Lumey is a dick

It's not that, my apparent Autism is flaring hard.


So enough of this, but before I get back to work (RL stuff and Eagles) I just want to gauge your feelings on these

>>49982045
>>49982090

>>49982433
Baring the things that we've already discussed here
>>49982293
>>49982214

>>49982433
OK. As you asked a related question not so long ago, I think a good place to start would be the Komra:

>The Komra are a subspecies of humans originating in the mineral-rich worlds of the galactic core. In the Imperium, they are formally known as "Homo Sapiens Robustus" for their stocky, powerful builds, the Eldar refer to them as "Baj-Ha", while in the poetry and sagas of the Orks they are called "stunties".

Read on at https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Komra

>>49982467
>SKWATS

Yeah I'll get teh readin'. Sometimes I feel like I have a good handle on the setting then a bunch of other shit creeps out of the shadows, and I need to go lore diving all over again.

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>>49982090
>>The Large majority of Xenos races: This is really more of a 40k thing, since Nids and Crons and Tau don't really arise until later on. My biggest changes would be
>>Farsight, or his equivalent, would be a much more dangerous and rebellious figure.
There is no Farsight. Tau is kill.

>We have SKAWTS right? I'd like to keep that, and a lot of Rouge Trader elements that have gotten lost over the years, albeit altered slightly to fit within our canon.
You mean the Komrarmok?

>>49982821
>There is no Farsight. Tau is kill.
Is this just Zorg not liking things or have we really decided no Tau before we even get to the era were they are born?

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>>49982880
>Is this just Zorg not liking things or have we really decided no Tau before we even get to the era were they are born?
This is Zorg mocking his brother, Commander Nearsight.

So, I wanted to peel the Eternal Zealots back to a pre-plagiarised state, but I discovered something Bad. Captain CopyPasta's involvement on the page goes back to early 2015, over a couple of different identities. The last "clean" version is at https://1d4chan.org/index.php?title=Eternal_Zealots&oldid=260163

There are later edits from Aubrey-anon mixed in with the injections of plagiarised material, but disentangling it is going to be a pain in the ass. If it wasn't for the relatively prominent place that the Zealots have in the setting I'd be tempted to suggest that they go the way of the Mastodontii and Crusaders. As things stand... maybe the best path is for Aubrey-anon to give a greentext outline for whoever wants to write the page from scratch? (I can do the writing if nobody else is interested, and would probably find it easier than most because I know exactly what the writer of Gaspard Lumey would think about the Primarchs' interactions.)

>>49982939
I'm interested in contributing to the rewrite if nobody else wants it and Aubrey is cool with it.

>>49983055
We'll have to wait for Aubrey to comment, but it's fine by me.


The next thing on my list is the Eyes of the Emperor. I got the impression that them becoming the Chamber Militant isn't wildly popular, so I'm going to sketch out their later history in a more conventional way. I'm still keen for Phirun Soun to be associated with the Grey Knight types, because he plays a similar role to the OU's Nathaniel Garro, but I can do something else with him if necessary.

>>49983451
ARBITES

JOSMAN

AWAKEN MY MASTERS

>>49984028
>>49983451
Sorry, didn't mean to quote

>>49984028
>>49984041
No harm done. If you have thoughts (or writing?) on this Grey Knight thing, you could start laying it out here. I'm also in IRC if you're still at the brainstorming stage.

>>49984028
>>49984041
What, nigga

>Sorry this is coming in late. My expected 6 hour shift last night turned into an 11-hour shift and I just came home and crashed.

As promised in the last thread, Merrill's Patented Guide to Grammar.
In other words, when I ping you for things that I notice, this is what I'm talking about and how to fix it.

Keep in mind that I'm guilty of this stuff as well. This is for corrections and improvements, not to be a dick. Asterisks are things that I usually notice quicker and will be more vocal about.

>Run-on sentences/comma bloat*

This is really two problems rolled into one. Commas are the devil. They are meant to be used in the following circumstances:
-Lists
-When one clause immediately follows another

Most times I see commas get used here is with run-on sentences. Example:
"He walked into the tent, and as he walked in, he was hit with a barrage of smells."

Instead of that, use these:
He walked into the tent. As he entered he was hit with a barrage of smells.
or
He walked into the tent and was hit with a barrage of smells.

>Changing tonal formalities*

Everybody in this project has heard me bitch about this. It really interrupts the flow of the work. It's also harder to put directly into words. But as a rule of thumb, use more formal wording if you are writing formally. Use informal words when writing informally. Using a mix within dialogue is acceptable so long as it is appropriate to the characters.

An example pulled from yesterday (sorry Sigma, but this is not yet a finished product and makes a good example):
"The remaining veterans of the First Company, decked out in their resplendent Indomitus Terminator armour"

The wording is very formal throughout the piece. When the author used "decked out," it switched to informal. Overall, this creates a slightly jarring moment.

Instead, try this:

The remaining veterans of the First Company, garbed in their resplendent Indomitus Terminator armour

>cont

>>49984028
>Awakening intensifies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM

>>49984062
Sorry, sorry, got Caught up in the new pokemon Trailer. I'm hyped to say the least. Hop into the IRC so we can talk about the Adepts

>>49984055
I do, I haven't written anything yet, I'm waiting for Josman to finish his rules. Or should I just hop on that now?

>>49984185
It's cool, hoping in now. I don't have long though, my lunch is almost over

>>49984088
>cont

Please note you don't have to change it to exactly that word. It was just used as an example.

>Sentence flow*

This ties into the previous thought, and is not quite a grammar issue. But every now and then an idea is tough to put down in writing and when you do it comes across as unclear, scrambled, or just jarring and interrupts the passage flow. No fix but to rewrite.

>Verb tense change

Keep the verbs constant. If a passage starts in past tense, it should remain there. Avoid mixing tenses at all costs

*Exception is when writing dialogue.

>Misspellings

Everyone does this. It happens.


Now with that out of the way, today's a shit day for me, so I'm going to go crack open the whiskey.

>>49984329
>Sentence flow fix example:
Every now and then an idea is tough to put down in writing. Sometimes when that happens it comes across as unclear, scrambled, or just jarring. This will interrupt the flow or rhythm of the work in question.

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Here's a quick, poorly thought out successor chapter:

>Chapter Name: The Nephilim

>Summary: Fleet-based Void Angels successor, early but unknown founding.

>Chapter History: Early on in their history, their fleet was attacked and left for dead by xenos in deep, deep space. Their forces were decimated, but they were able to steal a salvage ship that found their wrecked fleet. They landed on the nearest planet and have slowly been building up their forces with hit-and-run pirate raids on nearby xenos planets while liberating any human slaves they find and taking them into the fold. The xenos they fight don't have warp capability yet, so for now they're stranded.

>Notable Members: Chapter Master Garriel Void-Born, who was resuscitated after fighting off xenos in the void after a hull breach.

>Chapter Combat Doctrine: Planet and ship-to-ship raiding, terror tactics (originally)

>Chapter Beliefs: Eventually, the Imperium will come and bring them back. But for now, they will do whatever they can to survive.

>Chapter Homeworld: Unknown originally, currently the majority of their forces are on a planet they call Zion (I'm bad at names)

>Chapter Appearance: Pic related, dark blue and white with copper trim

>>49984701
They could be a Chapter cut off during the Second Vetrovnak Incursion, if that helps you anchor them?

>>49984773
That could work pretty well. Fighting off vetrovnak and liberating chattel on the rim worlds.

Someone come up with a reasonable reason as to why the III legion doesnt exist and I'll drop the whole thing, and we can make !Deathwatch something else

>>49984875
I'll just copy and paste what I've said before. You didn't show how it was wrong then, so perhaps you missed it:
The reasons why not to expand the Legion list were mixed and most of them have been aired before, but it might be more productive to tackle the "empty slot" argument head-on. Put simply, this project has been going for a bit over two years and in that time over forty Legions have been proposed. However, only about a quarter of those ideas really got written up to a "functional" standard. The remainder were most often abandoned by their original creators and left as a deadweight on the project. Or, to borrow a phrase, "empty slots" that still needed filling in.

Now, there were three main tactics used to try to resolve this problem. The first was to shop out the abandoned Legions to new anons. This has had some success, but failure has been more common. Secondly, contributors took to nagging people who had written a lot to finish up the work of others. This also had some success, but it bred bitter resentment on both sides (those who wrote more felt that they were being used as mules, those who didn't write so much thought that some people were taking over the project). The last method was to cut down the roster. 18 wasn't some holy number that we decided we couldn't exceed. It was the lowest number that had some currency.

Now, if anyone wants to really get into "empty slots", we can start talking about the right number of Legions based on the completion of pages so far. Speaking just for myself, I would probably be more in favour of ten than twenty at this stage.

>>49985020
I'm talking abiut in the lore, son.

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>>49985089

>>49985089
You mean an in-universe reason? Their Primarch did bad things. Things so bad that they can't even be talked about. The whole thing got erased and covered up.

>>49984875
>>49985089
>>49985124
As I understand the current argument, the Primarch and Legion in question is to be killed off so that later on we can bring in the !Deathwatch because their methods were necessary.

This argument undermines itself. If the Legion was effective and not falling to Chaos, the Emperor would likely be cool with just about anything they did to murder more Xenos.

If the Legion/Primarch did something so badly that Big E decided to wipe them out, it would be a fair bet that future leaders of the Imperium would be willing to follow suit because the Emperor knows best, and risking the shot of revitalizing these ideas might cause more problems than it repairs.

Therefore, either we fill the Legion slots and keep them there, which would require a shitload of overhaul. Or we keep the missing Primarchs the way they are.

>>49982159
We'd have to cut a lot of stuff to make that go, so don't hold your breath.

>>49982245
This could actually work, were it not for the fact that by that time Onyx is doing his best statue impression on terra.

>>49982260
>Fuck me. Whatever. Just, whatever. I'll keep opinions to myself. I'll soldier on, finish the Eagles then promptly extract myself from this
Getting uppity because people don't want to cut out massive chunks of the lore to fit one person's concerns kinda makes you the asshole here.

>>49982821
Why no tau?

>>49984028
What do you want?

>>49985504
>by that time Onyx is doing his best statue impression on terra.
The page is pretty unclear about that and Viktor isn't around to clarify. At one point it says he's petrified, at another it says that only his skin has turned to stone but he can still move anyway.

But regardless, I think that Onyx just turning to stone is a bit anti-climactic for a guy who lives that large, whereas having him in some star-smashing finale with the Beast is right up his alley.

>>49985532
What happened to Onyx punching The Outsider into submission?

>>49985562
Viktor changed a lot of things with his new bios.

>>49985578
But that was my favorite bit...

>>49985694
Well, you should have thrown a tantrum while Viktor was still around!

>>49985729
I think I did and he didn't listen.

>>49985124
Oh man that's boring. Eh, Whatever, I don't think I'll be able to talk about this much more without trying to strangle myself with my own optic nerves. I'll get back to working on the Eagles, lest I be revealed as the infernal baby eating politician that I am.

>>49985122
Come on man, don't do me like that. I meant the lore.

>>49985213
Not necessarily, as the argument stands the Legion replaces the Imperial Fists in the Conflict with the Beast or Beast like force, but much earlier excluding them from the Great Crusade, and the remnants are made into a xeno hunting force.

>>49985504
The Autism passed, friend. All is well. I was taken by surprise. Also Ronin wanted to talk about the Super Long Names.

>>49985805
>Not necessarily, as the argument stands the Legion replaces the Imperial Fists in the Conflict with the Beast or Beast like force, but much earlier excluding them from the Great Crusade, and the remnants are made into a xeno hunting force.

>Hey, do you remember those guys who got basically completely eradicated by an alien menace?
>What do you think about reforming them into a force specifically dedicated to fighting alien menaces?

>>49985871
>What do you think about reforming them into a force specifically dedicated to fighting alien menaces?
>What are The Crimson Fists

>>49985871
Well, I mean if they won, even it was prryihc, they won against impossible odds against Mary Sue Orks (Whenever I say Beast, I mean a Beast Like ork and Waaagh. Not the literal Beast). They're as valid a force as any to reform the few members into Tacticool xenos hit squads.

>>49985899
>What are Crimson Fists
>Not the Deathwatch

Point is, if you're high up making these decisions about creating a new fighting force, picking someone known only for getting completely destroyed by the threat you want to throw them against is usually not a good idea.

>>49985975
You have been freed from your Ordo Malleus obligations. I'm shifting their past lore to be more generic mystery, to save us all some work, since you and Ronin both have plenty of other stuff to do.

>>49985994
No, but they are a chapter of ant-ork specialists, because they got so pissed off after losing 80% of the chapter to a WAAAHG.

>>49986041
Right, they made that decision. Not the Legions. Not the High Lords.

You want to take a Legion that got annihilated during the time when Astartes were at their peak and then have the High Lords turn around and go "these guys would be great for the job they died horribly at the last time. Nevermind all these successful Chapters. Let's do this."

>>49986081
I have zero stake in this fight, I don't even know what you're talking about, my point was merely that getting wiped out by someone doesn't necessarily make you bad at fighting them.

>>49986012
What does Ronin have but Grey Knights?

Was this a desicion that you an Ronin came to together? Or did you so graciously come to the desicion that I don't deserve a say?

>>49986081
Josman is just playing devil's advocate. It wasn't an idea he was pushing.

>>49986087
Sneaky just got confused. He may well be tipsy.

>>49986087
My bad, didn't read the name.

And it doesn't necessarily, but it would also color others opinions of your abilities.

And to lose a battle so horribly that you lose your standing as a Legion, the highest of commands will more than likely dissolve you and remember you as a failure and/or experiment.

To then turn around and decide to put forward enough resources and backing them as an all new, elite fighting force specifically for dealing with the threat they lost to just makes no sense at all. They could probably use those same resources to make a few billion guardsmen who have a better track record of success.

>>49986118
>What does Ronin have but Grey Knights?
His brotherhood of the Grey Knights is still his. I'm teporarily setting their collective origins to "EES A MEESTERY" until such time as either Ronin or yourself come forth with some content, then we can discuss it.

>Was this a desicion that you an Ronin came to together? Or did you so graciously come to the desicion that I don't deserve a say?
Basically what I said above. I've been sitting here twiddling my thumbs for a couple days waiting for even a basic outline of your guy's ideas, but have gotten nothing. I'm perfectly okay with you two helping to write, but at the same time I don't want to sit here waiting forever, so I'm setting all of their histories to Blackshield until I have a reason to change that.

You really want to be involved in the writing?

Write something.

>>49986158
Aaaahhh, fuck it.

If Ronin wants to pursue the Lost Legions he can pick up this banner and continue the fight. I'm bone tired of it. I'll just stick to my little corner of the universe


Also was Zorg serious about no Tau?

>>49986188
No, we have Tau, they are a part of a large conglomerate of Xenos species.

>>49986170
Oh holy Kek, we were waiting for you to finish the codex. Good christ I'm an idjiut.

I'll let Ronin slap together an outline to be built upon/broken down, since this is his babby. I'll only enter the ring if he decides he wants Eagle mentors.

>>49986207
Cool. Farsight Enclaves or something like it?

This is far from the HkH, mind

>>49986229
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Xenos_Compact_of_Free_Galactic_Interchange

https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Xenos_of_the_Hektor_Heresy#Xenos_Compact_of_Free_Galactic_Interchange

It's a blank for them, but IIRC, we don't have the ethereals, and is otherwise about the same.

>>49986575
>we don't have the ethereals
How do the tau manage to avoid nuking the cheap out of each other without the ethereals?

>>49986756
They're part of a larger organization of xenos. They don't run it.

>>49986756
I was going to bring this up, but I need to start picking my fights, lest the Luméy Gestapo comes and snatches me in my sleep

>>49987013
>>49986851
More importantly, they get found earlier in their development. So the warring castes pre-Ethereals are uplifted before they can start throwing big weapons around.

>>49987013
>picking my fights
You're clearly trying to pick a fight, though I'm not sure why.

>>49987028
Didn't the Etherals uplift them though? Or was that just due to Warpstorm time skip shenanigans?

I'll admit, all I know about Tau for the most part is their juicy tech and that they are somehow able to keep up with Marines, Guard, and fuckin Nids

>>49987140
It was a joke, relax.

>>49987154
No. The Ethereals stopped the constant wars between the various sub-races and unified them into castes under them. I think they were supposed to be early civilization or late stone age at that point. It's never stated when in the 8000 years after the warpstorm started and Tau history as we know it begins that happened though.

>>49984088
It's cool to critique my writefagging, I honestly don't mind. Hell, I have trouble keeping tenses consistent when writing so someone actually reading my shit and telling me when it doesn't flow well is always good.

>>49987171
No it wasn't. It's the same drum you were beating in >>49985805. I'm not really offended, but I would like to know what you're trying to accomplish. You had some goodwill from people who thought I was mistreating you. Can't you see that you're turning that into disgust by harping on about it?

>>49987187
Ah, yeah last I checked they just had figured out gunpowder.

So these are basically more mercurial Tau without the Greater Good?

>>49987300
Yeah, and a bigger focus on auxiliaries. The Tau aren't even in charge.

>>49987201
Alright, good to know. I was mostly apologizing for using that as an example more than anything, and didn't want you to feel like I was holding you up and intentionally berating your work.

>>49987315
Fantastic. I'll go over that page, as well as others, as I refine my own. My intent is to create a "reasonable marines" faction with the Eagles. Except, ya know, evil, self serving, war mongering mercenaries dedicated to dismantling the Imperium out of spite.

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>>49982045

>>49987456
...so...The IR?

>>49987597
Yes, but North American!

...

Oh.

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>>49987627
>Yes, but North American!
Lumey dearest you know just how to turn me on.

>>49987597
My biggest problem with the Eagles is distinguishing them from the IR. Right now I'm gonna play up aireal tactics and airborne assaults, then the Metal Gear influences after the Heresy

If I get too much "So IR?" I'm probably going to scrap the Eagles and go another direction. That's a worst case scenario.

And while I'll use a vietnam pallette, I'm really looking to strike an even balance between WWII, Just Cause, and Desert Storm, if I'm making any sense.

>//closed archive
>//classified: level Primus =][=
>//access: limited
>//original log date: 451M34
>//last access: 863M37
>//disc: mission report, Steel Marshals special task force, auxiliary investigation officer
>//sub.disc: investigation of "Future's Promise" derelict colony ship
>//loc: Athropos system, Quietus Cluster, Segmentum Obscuras, galactic rim.
>//contents:
>Mission report, Future's Promise investigation, Athropos IV PDF special investigator Reman Laram, temporarily seconded to the Steel Marshals fifth company.

>My findings confirm what Inquisitor Mahlem suspected, with one exception. As she'd thought, the halls of the ship were completely deserted, free of heat or energy signatures. The ship seems completely free of any organic material at all. Not only is the crew absent, but all organic cogitator parts are gone as well, and even the food in the messhall is gone, missing from unopened packages. There seem to be no signs of struggle, and the ship seemed almost uncanny in its empty, perfect order.

>Perhaps most disturbing is that the vessel was totally free of higher energy of any kind. Adept ΩI.II.I.III attempted to restore power to the ship's secondary reactors to restore light and atmosphere, but found it impossible. Furthermore he reported that the ship's reactors, main and secondary, were totally absent of any energy, going on to clarify that even after millenia adrift, there should have been trace radiation in many of the ship's systems; radiation conspicuously absent here. Furthermore the ship's computers were completely free of power, though the quantum superpositioning in the subcogitator banks was still present.

>>49987760
>Conclusions? I have never seen something so thoroughly, horrifyingly empty as that ship. Even the bloody astartes seemed to notice, that damn ship felt like a void pulling at your mind. I don't know if the crew survived whatever deprived them of power, but I'd bet a week's caf ration that the airlocks would be looking real inviting after a few days aboard that damn ship. Every trace of organic material and higher energy is just gone. How does that happen? Warp if I know.
>Honestly, I almost have to wonder if what we found was even the "Future's Promise". If it didnt sound so absurd saying it, I'd almost say someone had built a full size statue of the vessel, perfect down to the subatomic scale, if the quantum computing banks are any indicator.

>Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part, as I sure as I don't want to find out what could do that to a ship. Still, it may not be as ridiculous as it sounds. Adept ΩI.II.I.III insists that even if some arcane technology had ripped the ship's energy away, it would either be so strong as to take free electrons with it and destabilize the ship's matter, which it clearly didn't, or it would have been weak enough to leave trace radiation, which it also didn't. So either something beyond the galactic rim built a 1 to 1 replica of a 10 kilometer long vessel, or there's something out there that's so far beyond the Red Boys that they can't even begin to explain it.

>Here's hoping we just have some extragalactic sculptors out there.

>//log ended

>>49987779

>//Addendum
>The Cog Boys finished their material samples of the vessel. Comparitive analysis confirms, the metal in this ship came from Atlantos shipyards.It actually is the "Future's Promise". Furthermore, they were able to extract some data from the ship's cogitator banks. Most of it is purely operational data leading up to the ship's disappearance, but one line of code was added after the ship's disappearance. It quite simply said "
>//Redacted, inquisitorial primus-alpha level order
>". I don't understand why, but when Inquisitor Mahlem heard it, she summoned her retinue and immediately departed for Terra. Throne, Maeve can face an ork warlord without flinching, but this cryptic astropath poetry shit scares her? Suppose it's not my place to judge.

>//log end

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>>49987760
>>49987779
>>49987806
This is my favorite type of writefagging. Cryptic and intriguing. Reminds me of the Chaos chant from ages ago.

I was just writing up something similar relating to the Voidwatcher returning.

Man, I wish Alexandri wasn't so fleshed out. I want to make Voidy Slavic. I might have to make him Finnish or something.

>>49987140
Actually, until this >>49987028 was posted, his complaint made sense.

>>49987483
Come on anon, at least make them Chaos stars or xenos heads

What am I, a heretic?

>>49987857
Agreed. I had a feeling it might be Vetro's writing again, but I'm not entirely sure.

>>49982939
>>49983055

I have no problems working with other contributers.
I find it hard to express my own ideas, usually people get them when I lay it out.


>Eternal Zealots
>Formerly the Emerald Doom, they were a force not unlike the World Eaters.
>Unlike the World Eaters, they had a flaw in their gene-seed, they could recover from wounds that would often mean the death of a regular astartes and over-active adrenaline glands.
>However this "healing factor" had the cost of crippling cancer among the legion.

>As they racked up more wounds from their berserk tendencies, the more their legion lost to the cancer afflicting them.

>When the Primarch came in, the Legion had to be nearly rebuilt from the ground up.
>Mentors were instated, proto-chaplains guiding figures who were equipped to guide the zeal of the legion into a finer force.

>Their general M.O during deployment is to reduce collateral damage and assist in rebuilding any human settlements.
>In combat they favour melee combat, generally causing chaos in the ranks of the enemy, going after enemy commanders.

>As such, Assault marines, flying transports, escorts and Terminators are valued.
>Mentors tend to lead crowds of recruits into battle in a trial by fire, usually at the front of any assault.
>This practice is to weed out the weak and foolish, people who tend to give in to their adrenaline rushes.

>Due to their kind nature, the Zealots tended to gain the loyalty of most planets they seeded, allowing such vast numbers of recruits.

>In an attempt of keeping up the morale breaking chaos, Mentors often wear vox-casters of some kind to the armour, blaring scripture and battle speeches to their men and the enemy, in an attempt of intimidation/coercion.

>All brothers, regardless of planetary origin are taught Lazarian, the tongue of the serpentine Lazarites.
>The Lazarite Aux is to be written.

>>49987950
Nah, it was mine, i just switched to mobile so i lost my nametag

>>49987999
Oh, well that clears everything up then...

>>49987760
>>49987779
>>49987806
If it's not something new, my guess would be one of the C'tan. Probably the Outsider.


And speaking of C'tan, are we doing the canon C'tan pokèmon thing? Because i really hope we aren't.

>>49988134
I like the C'tan shard thing.

It makes them make sense.

>>49988134
This was my recommendation.

>>49982045
>>49982090

>>49988230
Ignore the blatant ignorance, and just zero in on the Necron

>>49988230
>>49988245
Nigga that's already kinda the case. In canon there are supposed to be a reasonable percent of Necrons who still worship the C'tan and their shards. Like 15-20%.

Also

>Rak'gol
>Part of a group

Oh I'm laffin.

>>49988313
Nigga, as long as Poké'Tan are a thing the Necron Lore will NEVER be good. I enjoy Old Crons, but for the purposes of the setting I think we should have New Crons.

No Poké'Tan shards, and Old Crons are the emotionless, soulless, dead eyed terminator mummies that I know and love

>>49988313
>Oh I'm laffin.
N-no bully, pls

>>49988415
They're not even pokemon. Some worlds are ruled by C'tan shards. Some C'tan shards broke free and now run amok with no one holding the leash.

Most of the Necrons are dead soul-less automatons like they originally were. Hell, you could even write a whole Necron faction led by an Overlord like that who worship the C'tan and everything. Newcrons let you have your cake and eat it too, without too weirdly affecting the total state of galactic affairs.

>>49988415
I fought for the oldcrons. We settled on a more halfway stance.

>>49988475
But why tho? That's more 40k stuff no?

But yeah my preference would be Old Crons versus New Crons.
>>49988473
Ah, I see I won't convince you of anything.

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>>49988429
The only thing the Rak'gol would ever be friendly with are the Yu'vath, because they either worship or were created by them.

I actually posed an origin theory for them a long while ago with an expanded role.

The Rak'gol are Yu'vath servitors, made by the still living Yu'vath leadership. They take any normal sentient race, humans included, and twist them until they're Rak'gol. They are slowly falling apart but then patch themselves with technology, which is why cybernetics are so popular. They also have huge gross cybernetic tanks that leak blood, radiation, and crude all over.

>>49988607
You haven't tried to convince me of anything.

>>49987806
>//closed archive
>//classified: level Alpha-Primus =][=
>//access: limited
>//original log date: 457M34
>//last access: 863M37
>//disc: Special Response Force composition record
>//sub.disc: record of Council of Terra's response fleet to the Future's promise incident.
>//loc: Quietus Cluster, Segmentum Obscuras, at galactic rim.
>//contents:
>Force composition manifest

>Forces dispatched:

>//dem.record.list
>Response Fleet
>//dem.record.sublist
>flagship: Glorianna Class capital ship Will of Iron, seconded from Steel Marshals fleet.
>34 Battleships, seconded from Imperial Navy, Adeptus Mechanicus, Mars defense fleet.
>105 Frigate/Support class ships, seconded from Imperial Navy, Adeptus Mechanicus, Mars defense fleet.
>340 Escort Squadrons, seconded from Imperial Navy, Adeptus Mechanicus, Mars defense fleet.

>//dem.record.list
>Astartes fleet elements
>//dem.record.sublist
>11 Strike Cruisers, seconded from Steel Marshals, Void Angels, Iron Sons, Knights Triumphant, Ravagers.
>4 Battle Barges, seconded from Steel Marshals, Void Angels, Iron Sons.
>25 frigate/support class vessels, seconded from Steel Marshals, Void Angels, Iron Sons, Knights Triumphant, Ravagers, Rangers of Akrash, Angels of Redemption.
>101 escort squadrons, seconded from Steel Marshals, Void Angels, Iron Sons, Knights Triumphant, Ravagers, Rangers of Akrash, Angels of Redemption.

>//dem.record.list
>Legio Regal
>//dem.record.sublist

>//dem.record.list
>Legio Regal
>//dem.record.sublist
>full legion
>command elements
>3 battle maniples (2 imperator class, 14 warlord class, 11 reaver class, 4 reaver mars class, 13 warhound class)
>12 skitarii tech guard maniples

>//dem.record.list
>Legio Anahlatus
>//dem.record.sublist
>1 battle maniple (4 warlord class, 4 reaver class, 6 warhound class)
>4 skitarii tech guard maniples

>>49988690
>//dem.record.list
>Adeptus Mechanicus Mars Tech Guard
>//dem.record.sublist
>Adeptis Mechanicus Fabricator General and command elements
>10 Cult Mechanicus battle cohorts
>33 Skitarii Tech Guard maniples
>5 regiments Mars PDF auxilia

>//dem.record.list
>Astartes forces
>//dem.record.sublist
>Steel Marshals command elements, 5th company, 2nd company, 3rd company, elements of 1st, 4th, 6th, and 9th companies.
>Iron Sons chapter master, command elements, 1st company, elements of 4th and 6th companies.
>Knights Triumphant command elements, 1st company, 3rd company, auxiliary forces.
>Ravagers chapter master, command elements, 1st company, 2nd company, elements of 10th company.
>Void Angels command elements, 2nd company.
>Angels of Redemption elements of 5th and 8th company.
>Rangers of Akrash 1st company, 10th scout company.

>//dem.record.list
>Imperial Guard
>//dem.record.sublist
>Terran Praetorii, 3rd, 18th, w5th, 71st, 72nd, 73rd, and 303rd.
>Secoracks 52nd "Armored Sons"
>Akrash 33rd.
>55th "Lunar Rangers" EVA specialists
>2.9 million conscripts, taken from Terra, Mars, Luna, 51 other worlds, segmentum solar.

>Forces Returned:
>//NA

>>49988617
Huh.

Neat, desu

>>49988626
>OLDCRON
>GOOOOOOOOD
>NEWCRON
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAD

>Having both in the same setting and pitched in a civil war
>ACEEEEPTAAAABLLLE

It's not that I haven't tried, it's that I won't. Cant convince anyone of anything here, so it all comes down to attrition or just quiting the second one hits heavy resistance. The later is shaping up to be the best way to operate in these threads

>>49988700
>Hey guys, remember that time when we sent the Fabricator General of Mars out the the edge of the galaxy with 3 million conscripts and the largest imperial battlegroup since the heresy? Whatever happened to them?

>WE DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, CEASE THY SEDITIOUS FALSEHOODS HERETIC!!!

>>49988189
Yes, gods being broken down to poket sized shardsmakes all the sense.

>>49988475
OLDCRONS 2016

>>49988719
I'm just saying that that's basically already how they are in canon right now, just the civil war is a much smaller scale because there are fewer C'tan loyalists.

>>49988773
It makes it makes sense why they aren't just running roughshod over the galaxy. Also why their individual avatars can get killed by a fucking tank.

>>49988791
>Also why their individual avatars can get killed by a fucking tank.
Yeah in gameplay terms it makes sense, but lore-wise i dont like it. Big scary stargods are scary. Little shootable star gods are pretty meh, especially for the setting.

>>49988690
>>49988700
I like it, but given the size of the fleet, there should be WAY more ground forces. Every ground asset (minus the conscripts) you mention could fit on the Gloriana class ship at the same time, including the titans.

A fleet that large would likely have ten times that number of ground forces for an invasion. (Except for the titans)

>>49988849
Hardly. One C'tan shard exterminatus'd several worlds on it's own. It was only pretty powerful. I can't imagine what a very powerful one would do.

>>49988778
Look man, all I'm saying is, we should have Crons underneath C'tan. Then Crons with their own dynasties.

No shards.

>>49988925
I just think the C'tan are too big to have as players in the Galaxy.

The fucking Old Ones lost to them. Why wouldn't they just steamroll everything in creation?

Besides some bullshit like "oh they're tired because they haven't eaten souls in long enough".

>>49988891
So the shards are planetkillers that can be killed by a Leman Russ? That does make more sense!

>>49988885
Maybe they're there to serve as marines and anti-boarding forces? You woulndnt need an onvasion force if you're fighting something in space. Not sure what the titans are for though.

>>49988956
>The fucking Old Ones lost to them.
Because the Old Ones were weak stupid fuckups?

>>49972991
Why'd you misspell Hector?

>>49989041
That's how you spell it IN SPACE.

>>49987957
I am okay with this

>>49988956
Because the opposing necron force.

Okay, I'll concede the Pokéshards, but we should make up Ctan to shard. I'd prefer if the Canon ones were whole

Also the hungry thing is plenty valid

>>49989291
What if we made the C'tan one entity that the shards represent as the whole thing fractured?

>>49989396
An interesting Idea, but I'm not comfortable with shaking up the lore to that degree.

>>49989396
>>49989396
That would be pretty cool.

>>49989531
so have y'all finally landed on the 3rd Edition C'tan then?

Here's a WIP summary for the Eternal Zealots:

The passionate and righteous Eternal Zealots fought at the forefront of the Great Crusade, the embodiment of the Emperor’s dream for a liberated humanity free from the influence of false faiths. Through the dedication of their compassionate gene-father, the Eternal Zealots were more than a conquering army, they were also the builders of a new future for humanity. However, the tolerance and understanding embodied by the legion would prove to be their ultimate downfall. In trying to bridge the gap between man and xenos, the Eternal Zealots drew further away from humanity and further into the clutches of the Ruinous Powers. Aubrey the Grey, their genefather himself tried to compromise and find peace between mankind and the dark gods, but fell to the corruption of the Primordial Truth. Now fully aware of the cancerous blight that humanity had become, the Eternal Zealots would turn their fervour into reshaping the galaxy into the glorious future Aubrey once dreamed of.

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>>49991185
And a marine from the Emerald Doom for good measure

>>49987857
There're plenty of types of slavs you know. Alexandri is just east slavic, you've still got the south and west slavs to model things after.

Though I am using south slavic languages to form the core backbone for Hvarian naming customs but culturally they've long since ceased mirroring anything you'd find on present day Earth.

>>49984701
Same guy, back again.

I went and had a good think about it, and came back with a couple ideas:

I like the core concept still, which is !Night Lords who have to act like Conservators while engaged in the space version of guerilla freedom fighting. I also like them being cut off during the second Vetrovnak incursion, since it makes more sense for the Vetrovnak to have humans that can be freed and uplifted than random xenos.

I think it makes more sense for them to not have a "homeworld" that they can come back to after raiding, instead living in their cobbled-together fleet made up of remnants of their old fleet, ancient relic ships they found on different planets, and Vetrovnak ships, if it's even possible for them to figure out how one works. I feel like the number founding doesn't matter too much, unless they're a second founding or something like the cursed 21st.

Feel free to add anything to this. I'm not so enamored by my own idea that I'm unwilling for others to fill in the blanks I left.

>>49991756
I should mention that the Vetrovnak have zero interest in holding worlds. They show up, pacify the population, put everyone in stasis, and then haul them back to Hvar. So if they're going to liberate anything they'll have to learn to time it exactly during a harvest.

Taking vetrovnak ships would be possible but they'd have to gut the AI and fold comms otherwise they'd be telling the Vetrovnak where they are at all times. Then they'd have to retrofit a gellar field, warp drive, and probably some void shields since they have none of these things.

>>49991886
So, instead of planetary raiding, the Space Marines would just have to sit around waiting for ships to pass through? I'm cool with that. Just a bunch of Space Marines used to spooking people have to sit around and play cards while waiting to fight space vampires.

I like the idea of them not having tech marines, so they can't fix the warp drives on the handful of ships they have, and are just super stranded.

>>49972991
>tfw you requested this image in a drawthread ages ago

>>49991977
Or lurking on planets until the space vampires show up. They'd probably very quickly learn to fashion weapons that are harder for the nanomachines to identify and disable. All of these weapons are lower tech and thus far easier for them to make from their own supplies.

For example, energy weapons tend to go down very rapidly while bolters, rocket launchers, and grenade launchers tend to last a bit longer until the nanites disable the detonation mechanisms in their explosives along with things like guidance and what not. Bolters will still likely retain the ability to shoot the bolts but the rocket motors won't ignite on the bolt nor is it likely to explode properly in impact. But good old bullet spitting guns, those will work just fine. As will anything flamers and anything pneumatically or mechanically launched - so they could start stripping out the hyper-tensile fibers of vetrovnak ships to improvise mechanical automatic crossbows or something.

>>49992207
How willing would they be to work with say...Caligor after his values are basically tossed to the wind in favor of enacting vengance against the Imperium?

He would want that sweet, sweet Nanotech.

>>49992300
So long as Caligor is willing to hand over human civilian populations relatively unharmed for harvesting they're pragmatic enough to provide military technology.

Of course if Caligor likes fultoning everything as much as Big Boss I'm sure he'll find the arrangement very agreeable.

>>49989089
BTW Lumey, with that Massalia thing, how much of the plot for the planet were you wanting me to change, or were you just looking for an infobox with a blurb for the planet morphology to be added to what's already written there?

>>49992375
Yeah, Caligor isn't a very fun to write about
>Honest Farmboy and patriotic idealist. A well spoken chad, a veritable Captain America
>Apex Warrior and Howling Commando
>Begrudging general for a leader he doesn't completely trust, nor see as a father
>Battle scarred veteran whose dreams of Democracy and liberty are dead, quaint ideals with no place in this era of war.
>Traitor turning against the Imperium for a chance to provide true freedom, a chance to try a new way
>Traitor without a homeland, only ashes and vengance
>A jaded hypocrite, a dictator and criminal betraying his values to dismantle the empire that destroyed his home

>All the while constantly ignoring a nagging question at the back of his head "Did I do the right thing?"

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Comrade Murderinski, why no information on the Hektor Heresy or Scouring on the Rad Cats page?

To-do list:
>Polish off the Markian Corps in the Heresy and Scouring, Midway Campaign
>Rosskan Strelky in the Heresy and Scouring
>Legio Maleficarum
>Like, all the roughrider regiments we will ever need
>Brimstone Fire-Eaters in the Vetrovnak Invasions
>Solidus Chromehounds
>Whatever-their-name-is Windups
>Baskerville Manhunters
>Space Elephant Seals
>Morkai

>>49992916
>Baskerville Manhunters
This could actually be interesting. Like one part Scottland Yard, one part WHFB Witchhunters, one part Jack the Ripper.

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>>49993240
>This could actually be interesting. Like one part Scottland Yard, one part WHFB Witchhunters, one part Jack the Ripper.
Actually, they're traitor guard who ride giant mutant dogs.

Why must we reinvent the Inquisition?!

>>49993290
>Actually, they're traitor guard who ride giant mutant dogs.
>Why must we reinvent the Inquisition?!
How are these two points related?

And for that matter, the inquisition itself is largely unchanged, it's only the origins and the chambres militant that are being changed.

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Oh yeah:

>Final boss for the Pacificus Campaign
I was thinking it's not just one specific group, but countless Chaos factions falling back onto one location to hold off the encroaching Imperial Army. The plan is to hold off the Imperial Army until fleets regroup and evacuate the traitors, while the Imperial Army Armada tries to blockade rogue worlds. Daemons, pirates, and old foes from the Hektor Heresy complicate things.

>>49993564
>How are these two points related?
Sorry, the Inquisition popped in my head when you mentioned Witch Hunters and Scotland Yard.

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BIG PLANS for Roughriders.

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>>49993601
Zorg, want to coordinate on this shindig? Work on Rosskar and the role of the Strelky together? Maybe some Markian, Ciban, and Strelky jolly cooperation? All my plans are up in the air and we can discuss what to do.

I was thinking the Imperial Army rises to prominence in Pacificus due to the lack of a strong Astartes presence, but also a small support base for Hektor's rebellion allowing the Loyalists to consolidate faster even among the cosmic mayhem.

>>49991541
I just felt like the Koschei comparison is too interesting. Though I don't think he kidnaps anyone's wife.

As it stands, I'm just brainstorming better names and thinking of different cultures that might work. I just played through Mother Russia Bleeds, so Russian in particular is sticking out.

>>49987857
>>49991541
>>49993689
Alexandri pulls inspiration from all of Russia's most prominent leaders, and some from the Legalist doctrine of political philosophy from China while also being a riff on Cao Cao. He's actually vaguely all different types of Asian, namely Chinese and Russian due to those being collectivist societies. The early Rosskans are far more determined for progress than being repressed backwater religious fucks.

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>>49993663
>Zorg, want to coordinate on this shindig? Work on Rosskar and the role of the Strelky together? Maybe some Markian, Ciban, and Strelky jolly cooperation? All my plans are up in the air and we can discuss what to do.
Yisplis

>I was thinking the Imperial Army rises to prominence in Pacificus due to the lack of a strong Astartes presence, but also a small support base for Hektor's rebellion allowing the Loyalists to consolidate faster even among the cosmic mayhem.
Yeah, I was thinking of the small Astartes presence as well. The Pacificus Campaign, where the Markian Corps and Rosskan Strelky communicate to each other their intention to push towards the middle of the Segmentum, sweeping up loyalist elements and mopping up traitors on the way, meeting in the middle for a massive showdown, and ultimately setting the foundation for the Imperial Guard and possibly Imperial Navy.

>Pictured: Thenaran Roughriders

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>>49993753
I was thinking the Strelky, being the biggest, coordinate first with the Ciban Chassuers actually. They organize an offensive against the Traitors in Pacificus first, settling their own house before even thinking of moving on. It's the Strelky who think of the offensive, but also centralize shit on themselves. This leads to Rosskar being a tempting target as it decapitates the Army presence - then

THEN

The Markians come in, picking up the slack right away left by the Strelky. I'm thinking the nature of Rosskar can be reworked into general fighting across the Kuzgeta Sector(Shown here: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Kuzgeta_Defense_Sphere ), with ultimate but costly Imperial victory. After this, the momentum carries especially with the arrival of the Void Angels to allow fully THE PUSH

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>>49993821
>I was thinking the Strelky, being the biggest, coordinate first with the Ciban Chassuers actually.
I figured the Markian Corps, being larger than the Chasseurs, would be a better choice, but considering the Chasseurs are more directly associated to a legion like the Strelky are I understand that.

>>49993821
>They organize an offensive against the Traitors in Pacificus first, settling their own house before even thinking of moving on. It's the Strelky who think of the offensive, but also centralize shit on themselves. This leads to Rosskar being a tempting target as it decapitates the Army presence - then
>THEN
>The Markians come in, picking up the slack right away left by the Strelky. I'm thinking the nature of Rosskar can be reworked into general fighting across the Kuzgeta Sector, with ultimate but costly Imperial victory.
Figured the Markians would be trying to push the second they stopped getting attacked from all sides.
>After this, the momentum carries especially with the arrival of the Void Angels to allow fully THE PUSH
THE PUSH

Also, I want the Pacificus Campaign AKA THE PUSH to last from late Heresy to late Scouring.

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>>49994000
Right. I did not know these facts, I thought the Chausseurs were the bigger of the two.

I was thinking that the Strelky can be left out of the fighting on Terra, with the Cataphracts leaving them behind in their entirety. This is so more of them can die in droves in the grueling fighting in Kuzgeta. There could even be a moment when the Markians could suggest drawing the fighting into other sectors, to which the Rosskans reply no, we're keeping them locked in here, we're going to bleed them here. The end result is the progress made by the 'Silver Jewel' of the Segmentum is taken back to the stone age. The Pact laments at the astronomical losses and near total destruction of the Strelky, just before the Void Angels arrive. That's an important difference here, I think. We make it so the humans are largely responsible for throwing off the enemy.

Furthermore, I think this should be a Human-Human conflict. Revising my earlier thoughts on Rosskar, it doesn't make much sense for that many Marines to...be there. There can be a nominal, pivotal amount but not in the tens of thousands I had them in.

Thoughts?

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>>49994068
>Right. I did not know these facts, I thought the Chausseurs were the bigger of the two.
I thought he was doing the multiple recruitment world things, but I didn't see anything on his page about that.

>>49994068
>I was thinking that the Strelky can be left out of the fighting on Terra, with the Cataphracts leaving them behind in their entirety. This is so more of them can die in droves in the grueling fighting in Kuzgeta. There could even be a moment when the Markians could suggest drawing the fighting into other sectors, to which the Rosskans reply no, we're keeping them locked in here, we're going to bleed them here. The end result is the progress made by the 'Silver Jewel' of the Segmentum is taken back to the stone age. The Pact laments at the astronomical losses and near total destruction of the Strelky,
To which the Strelky respond: That's how it's done, cyka!

>Furthermore, I think this should be a Human-Human conflict. Revising my earlier thoughts on Rosskar, it doesn't make much sense for that many Marines to...be there. There can be a nominal, pivotal amount but not in the tens of thousands I had them in.
My thoughts exactly.

I already have the early Pacificus Campaign detailed on the Markian Corps Page, at least for the Markian Corps. https://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Markian_Corps#The_Pacificus_Campaign

Any comments on what you think should change to meet a new narrative?

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This poster is endorsed by Adam Savage.

http://imgur.com/gallery/yhGfu

>>49994218
Don't have much time to read, but I trust you to have already spotted changes yourself if there needs to be changes.

But actually, the "To which the Strelky respond..." doesn't tell me much about your thoughts on the proposal.

>>49994489
>Don't have much time to read, but I trust you to have already spotted changes yourself if there needs to be changes.
I mostly made edits in specific terms when I moved it from the Hektor Heresy to the Great Scouring.

>But actually, the "To which the Strelky respond..." doesn't tell me much about your thoughts on the proposal.
I have no objections.

>>49995432

>>49992425
I don't think the plot elements need to be drastically overhauled - the end of Titan Legions beholden to Aubrey + spooky tech-ghosts is worth the price of admission, at least.

>>49993710
>>49993753
>>49993821
In general, you guys seem to be drastically under-estimating the scale involved.

>small Astartes presence
Each Segmentum has hundreds of thousands of worlds. There are a couple of million Space Marines in the galaxy as a whole. There is no need or justification for saying that Pacificus is a special case.

>Strelky, Chasseurs, Corps
Together, including Chasseur-pattern regiments raised from Tribunal worlds, that's the forces of perhaps a hundred worlds, so maybe a few billion men in arms? (Less the IA forces that accompany the Angels.) If you split that force up to try securing the worlds of the Segmentum, they'd just get arrested!

But there are loads of other IA outfits in the region, whether they're assumed OU content in the form of Solar Auxilia, relatively detailed AU stuff like the Fischetti Numeri, just names like the Morlachs of Sinji, or simply unknown.

>the Void Angels arrive
Don't forget that the Steel Marshals are coming into Pacificus to try linking up with Loyalist forces there, and probably arrive months before Lumey.

>Human-Human conflict
tfw Pallas does not turn Rosskar into a bio-horrific wasteland

>>49995432

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>>49996638
>tfw Pallas does not turn Rosskar into a bio-horrific wasteland

>>49996638
>Together, including Chasseur-pattern regiments raised from Tribunal worlds
Are those technically Ciban Chasseurs or are they just based on the Ciban Chasseurs?

And where are these planets? Surrounding the sector or just within the sector?

>>49987957
>A Legion of Deadpools without the immortality get Colossused/Professor X'd into being Wolverines.

Okay, here's what I have for the early part of the EZ history.

Pacification of the Merican Hives

Under the command of Hektor Cincinnatus, the Sixteen Squad of the Sacred Band took part in the Pacification of the Merican Hives, leading the assault on Hive Flariad. Hive Flariad owed much of its defensibility to the surrounding wetlands, an unstable swamp that would deter any attempts to set up a protracted siege or mechanised assault. Aerial attacks were also ruled out due to the fearsome anti-aircraft defence matrix employed by the forces of Hive Flariad, resulting in the destruction of Imperial tacticians dubbed the swamp as the “Doomglade”, as any offensive that passed through the location was doomed to failure.

The warriors of the Sixteenth Squad pressed on despite the misgivings of their allies. They modified their armour, adding primitive jump packs that would allow them to dive and assault the hive from beyond the range of its anti-aircraft systems. Led by Varus Tithonus, these brave warriors plunged headfirst into battle, trusting in their manoeuvrability to dodge the flak that filled the skies. Upon breaching the outer levels of the hive, the warriors shredded the defences with astonishing ferocity, fuelled by excessive adrenaline that sent them into a state of battle-rage.

While the skies filled with Imperial aircraft that would form the brunt of the assault, the marines of the Sixteenth would continue to battle their way through the hive with reckless abandon. Carefully planned tactics and strategies were discarded in the heat of battle and soon the Sixteenth found themselves caught in ambushes and corralled into death zones. Casualties began to mount and soon the last five members of the Sixteenth Squad found themselves facing what was almost the entirety of the hive’s defence forces, deep within the depths of the hive and separated from their Imperial allies.

>>49998010
Five corpses were retrieved from the charnel house that was once Subsection 4A of Hive Flariad, space marines in shattered armour, their flesh almost turned to pulp from the sheer extent of injuries suffered. While preparations were being made to inform Hektor Cincinnatus of the total loss of the Sixteenth Squad, one of the “corpses” twitched. Slowly, hearts began to beat and lungs took in fresh air. Against all the odds, the Sixteenth Squad was healing from the brink of death. Of the five who fell in Subsection 4A, Varus Tithonus, Galle Nacht and Demetrius Colos were successfully resuscitated and another member of the Sixteenth, Ernst Gerd was later found to have also survived his injuries though left for in a prior ambush.

The four survivors of the Sixteenth Squad would painstakingly comb through the hive after pacification, destroying every single mural and symbol that defamed the Emperor. In recognition of their zeal and their sacrifice in taking the hive, the Sixteenth would come to be known as the Emerald Doom.

Warriors of the Sixteenth Squad – Pacification of Merican Hives

> Varus Tithonus, the Soul Drinker
> Galle Nacht, the Everlasting
> Ernst Gerd, the Blade Unyielding
> Demetrius Colos, the Unfallen
> Fenrich Veiss - KIA
> Pascal Xylan - KIA
> Yost Kostnas - KIA
> Marceus Chard - KIA
> Ordwin Leon - KIA

>>49998029
Plus one more KIA dude whose name I forgot to copy-paste in.

Snek is this history alright with you?

>>49997771
>Are those technically Ciban Chasseurs or are they just based on the Ciban Chasseurs?
Yes. It depends on the planet.

>And where are these planets? Surrounding the sector or just within the sector?
Al-Sherar Sector.

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>>49999017
>Yes. It depends on the planet.
So some are part of the Chasseurs, some aren't?

>>49999125
Yes.

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>>49996638
The reason Pacificus has a small presence is due to the fact all of its major Legions aren't present. It's a backwater out of the way from the real action, in Segmentum Solar. That's where Hektor is pushing.

>they'd just get arrested!
Good reference, but we've talked about IA forces before and these would just be the poster boys for the conflict. There'd be plenty of men under arms from other regiments still.

>probably arrive months before Lumey.
How. The Marshals are in Ultima, Lumey and Co. went to the border of Pacificus and Tempestus before being pushed back.

Hey, if you want to get Pallas involved - more power to you.
>When she sees your dick

>>49999329
>The reason Pacificus has a small presence is due to the fact all of its major Legions aren't present. It's a backwater out of the way from the real action, in Segmentum Solar. That's where Hektor is pushing.
"All" being the Void Angels and Silver Cataphracts. I agree on Solar, but that's why I'm saying that Pacificus isn't exceptional. The Hektor Heresy is mostly fought in the center.

>just poster boys
The notes upthread do not look like "these are the poster boys". Now, notes are just notes, but I really want to stress that the regiments you two have been talking about are a tiny fraction of the forces involved.

>The Marshals are in Ultima
They're in Tempestus

>Lumey and Co. went to the border of Pacificus and Tempestus
They went to the edge of Obscurus, didn't find out about the Heresy until Aubrey came to kill them (years after the fighting began), and had to circle their way back to Ciban IV.

>if you want to get Pallas involved
We've talked about Pallas being involved.

>>49999569
Yeah sorry my memory is fucked due to university. I'll get to serious writing after this weekend. Hopefully. Maybe.

>>49998042
It looks OK to me, for what it's worth. My usual policy with the wiki is that the ease of reverting changes makes it simpler to just put stuff up and ask if there's anything amiss, rather than clearing text through the thread first.

On a related note, I found the initial discussion with Snek about the relationship between Aubrey & Gaspard - I'll write up a version of it on Lumey's page shortly.

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Alright, I'm going to be extremely busy over the next few days and won't be able to do much.

What I can do is post up some of the writefaggotry that I had written up for the IR's Culling, because reasons.

I'm also thinking that the Culling should take a bit of a turn. Rather than having it be Merrill intentionally removing voices of dissent, perhaps he makes an exceptionally dickish move which causes growing dissent among several members to outright mutiny, and turns the whole adventure they are on into a 3-way warzone.

Given, this is just a rough draft of events, and I have no idea what could be done without turning Merrill into a mustache twirling villain. But I think it fits our timeline of events a bit better. Thoughts?

pic completely unrelated, I just wanted to make weebs cry

>>49997840
Yeah, if Deadpool could die from the wounds he already healed.
Sure.

>>50001366
OK, here's a take on the early part of Aubrey and Gaspard's relationship:
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Gaspard_Lumey#Razor_and_Scalpel

I wonder what Hektor's armour would look like after he's fallen to chaos.

Wy8s eveyrin doing tonifht?

Wered did rveeybidy go?

Haoou hallownee!

I may en durnk. But theist oarty is widndinf downw so Ii thiught id soend some time with you smfine fellass,

Is sksurim good?

Skyrirn

Skurim

Skrim

Love u fguys, osky? Yy gusy are great desu

Fuking caothca!! Guve me stornfront da not shapes man

>>50003592
>>50003671
>>50003773
>>50003817
I think you might have passed "drunk" on your way to "stroke", lol.

>>50001366
Alright, I'm just gonna nuke the page back to it's last clean state and begin from there

>>50003592
>>50003671
>>50003773
>>50003817
I don't buy it.

Who invents Daemon Engines again? I don't think there are really any technologically specialized traitors.

>>50006802
I think the best candidates are the Zealots. They are the most connected to Chaos, they make the most sense.

>>50006802
>>50007439
Isn't there a subsect of the Augurs that is devoted to creating artifacts and other crazy shit?

We've also got the DMech, who should probably get off their asses a bit more in our universe than the original. I mean, come on. Wasn't a huge part of their rebellion over The Emperor limiting their resources and staunching creativity?

>>50008936
If there is a subsect of the BA devoted to artifice, they are very different from the TK. Because those dudes have a LOT of experience with artifice. The real difference is that the Augers are more susceptible towards Chaos.

>>50008966
Yeah, this is also post heresy as well. They have a whole daemon planet where they sit around making crazy chaos weapons.

>>50008966
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Death_Smiths

>>50009060
This mess was written years ago. I love it! How time flies.

>>50008990
If the successor chapters of the Thunder Kings ever align, it is to set this planet on fire and beat the warp entities thereon into a form that suits the Imperium.

>>50009079
Although now that I've got you on, I had a thought recently about Merrill and Brennus.

During the GC, I am trying to portray Merrill as really not a bad guy. Just a guy who got a shit hand dealt throughout his life and dealt with it the best way he could with the tools available. And a guy who turned those same tools into an answer for basically every situation rather than being able to grow, learn, and improve himself.

How would you feel about having Brennus basically understanding that and trying to "fix" the problem? This obviously fails, but it would give you something else to work into Brennus' character if you choose to either go with this and/or include the idea. I know you've tried to tie in Brennus viewing the other Primarchs as true brothers, and I figure that would give you an interesting angle to show it.

Also, I think that Brennus and Tiran might be good pals.

>>50009196
See, I think that works perfectly! Brennus and Merrill got dealt a bad hand. Brennus wants to fix the problem with his understanding of a world whose natives he doesn't get., but Merrills to make the problem with the world he is forced upon.

>Brennus and Tiran

Those two would love each other. We should write a campaign with them.

>>50009283
>Brennus/Tiran: Bros4Lyfe 29847 Galactic Tour
Definitely.

>>50009382
Brennus would love to ride diinobots. It drives me mad to see it wasted.

Hunger, I want it so bad I can taste it.

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>>50009425
>pic related

So I'm thinking classic hammer and anvil strategy. Brennus is the hammer, Tiran the anvil.

>>50009196
>>50009283
On Merrill and Brennus, I think I can more clearly elaborate on what I was trying to get through last night, now that I've gotten a bit of sleep.

I realized that I've kind of set Merrill up to be a product of his environment. Which in and of itself is not an issue. But the dude's early life has a lot of tragedy and cyclic movements. People want him dead to prevent a prophecy, and it's their own actions which make him fulfill their prophecy.

Let's face it, Lumey thinks nothing good of him, probably same with Alexandri, he's antithesis to just about everything Roman stands for, the majority of the traitors probably at least dislike him, etc. Being "rescued" from his world just put him in the middle of another setting he wants no part of. The people who help him out wind up tearing down the Imperium in a civil war. The dude is built to fall.

On the other hand, giving him an out that he either doesn't see or understand turns that into a more tragic end. He had access to the ability to bring himself above his fate. But his shitty past keeps him from using that. He's still an asshole, but he's an asshole who you kind of pity rather than outright hate.

Alright, I've been gone a day or so, and I don't want to waste time reading through the thread

Today I'm going to get a tentative finish on the Great Crusade for the Eagles then switch to Cal, specifically his interactions and feelings on other Primarchs so he's a little more pertinent to the setting as opposed to kinda slapped on.

In the meantime can someone catch me up on the important stuff?

>>50012936
>In the meantime can someone catch me up on the important stuff?
This thing is always handy:
https://1d4chan.org/index.php?namespace=&tagfilter=&target=The+%2Ftg%2F+Heresy&showlinkedto=1&title=Special%3ARecentChangesLinked

Other than that, ideas are being worked up. I don't recall anyone making suggestions for CE or Cal.

>>50012967
Oh, neat didn't know that existed, thanks.

Alright, I'll get to work then

Also, I've been trying to work in the Curse of the Seventh into the legion, but all I can think of Über Bad Luck and spurts of good luck. May fluff it as hinting very subtly that Tzeentch is fucking with them and Khorne lends them a hand. Or I may drop the good luck and keep it mysterious

Any better suggestions would be appreciated.

>>50013017
>May fluff it as hinting very subtly that Tzeentch is fucking with them and Khorne lends them a hand.
I'm indifferent to the Curse of the Seventh thing, but this caught my eye. Are you saying that the Crimson Eagles are going to be the Second Khorne Legion?

>>50013835
That was the original intention, but after learning about the Toasty Primarch I've instead steered the course to a more free agent, PMC-like fate.

However recently Josman said that a second Khornate legion wouldn't be out of the question, being the most powerful chaos god and most astartes falling directly under his spheres of influence, such as ANGRY and warfare. I'm undecided on the matter, but I'd like tonhear your thoughts on such a thing.

As I worded it there, the legion was simply favoured by Khorne and had drawn the ire of Tzeentch somehow, nothing more.

>>50014392
It's been raised before in the project, and what I drew out of it was that a second Khorne Legion creates problems. For example, we'd have to rationalise not having a second Legion for each of the other Chaos powers. (Khorne is most powerful most of the time, but is he the most powerful at that point? Is he twice as powerful as each of the other powers? etc.) I could go archive-diving for other problems that came up, but mainly I just don't want to go through the strife again.

>>50014553
Nonono, I completely understand, trust me. My biggest problem with it is that it would be unfair to the other chaos gods, and I don't want to resurrect that 30 legions insanity.

At this point it's just a desicion of Undivided or Renegade

>>50014934
>At this point it's just a desicion of Undivided or Renegade
whynotboth.gif

Almost all of the Legions fragment. Assume that the core of the Eagles go with the Traitors, a decent chunk run off into renegacy, and a few handfuls end up fighting for the Emperor.

>>50014971
Good point.

Okay my plans then, thus far, are to have Caligor tolerate the chais forces until after the heresy, were they have a dispute of iron like conflict

>>50015546

>>50011587
Wouldn't it make more sense for the guy whose legion is cavalry focused to be the hammer in this situation?

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>>50018655
>He isn't strong enough to smash the anvil onto the hammer

>>50018655
Cavalry ambush tactics.

Brennus drives the target into Tiran's ambush point.

But, yes, the tactic could work either way.

>>49998010
>>49998029
>>49998042

Apologies on the delay.

More than fine.
They're the best around, nothings ever gonna bring them down.

>>50020152
All good, I've been writing so much that it's all just going up on the 1d4chan page. If I fucked up anywhere just send me a message or something.

>>50020405
Of course.
I thank you for all your hard work.

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Tonight, I will do something!

Oh gee, look at the time. Good night!

>>50021519
Lolwut?

Is there more of this?

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>>50023971
There are a few short pages from Erica_naze1940 on Danbooru.