GODDAMNIT HUMANS!

>>49919348
>half-half
Good one.

>>49919348
No.

>>49919348
>Satyr are half-centaurs
Are they three-quarters human, then? Exactly how much of them are human?

If they're half human and half non-human, then centaurs should be one-quarter human, correct?

>>49919348
Well, there are probably some that are safe from ending up with half-human children, but humans are still going to offer them a good time if they want it.

>>49919348
Them wears have a point
Thats no humans doing

I like to think there's other half breeds too
I once played a half orc half dwarf (dork)
He was a real conflicted man

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>>49919348
Only one way to find out. How fast can you run?

>>49919348
In the world of Dark Sun the Halflings were completely feral, and most hated enemies of the Elves. Real Jew vs. Arab shit. Still, there were a series of novels that focused on a man that was an... elfling? I dunno, he was all kinds if fucked up and had 6 personalities, and he lived in a setting more dangerous than outback Australia.

>>49919412
That's not a Satyr

It's a Quarter horse

>>49919412

That's not a satyr. Satyrs are goat from the waist down.

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>>49919600

Dat spoiler.

>>49919348
Sorry. But no. Especially if they are wizards. How about a sorceress that married her own staff?

>>49919600
You have to go back, Carlos

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I havnt seen a half-bugbear before

>>49919348
Not even the Lings are safe.

>>49919767
Chinese are people too.

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I agree.

There are no halves in my game, why? I make my players explain how the union took place, and when they stumble I simply state "so you are a product of rape?" Well fine, there's no way you could become an advenurer if as a child you were discarded.

When they complain I simply state, you can be human, dwarf, or a halfling, if you dont want to play then you can take your rape-born to another DM.

Works every time.

>>49919913
>nofunallowed.jpg

>>49919913
>Well fine, there's no way you could become an advenurer if as a child you were discarded.
Aren't adventurers generally oddballs or social rejects in the first place? It takes a special kind of desperate to choose so fantastically dangerous a career.

>>49919913
It would make more sense that my character would be an adventurer if I were the RapeBorn.

Mah gawd, Rape Born. The one they fear. Destined to spread rape long and wide to all.

>>49919814
Lol, no.

I dont like halve beings because they're usually very Mary Sue
"Oh I have all the superpowers and benefits of both races with none of the drawbacks of either, and nobody understands me because im a halve"

>>49919814
>insects in the guise of man
>"people"

You gotta take into consideration that it wasn't just human males sticking their dicks in everything, im sure a fair amount of half-halves came about from other races stealing our woman.

>>49919983
Isn't that a greentext? Sir Dragonraper or something? He only goes on dragon hunts if it's a female dragon, and he's responsible for 90% of all draconians?

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>>49919348
nothing is safe

>>49919348
>Is there anything in these universe that's safe from the sexual predations of the human race?!
Nope.

>>49920021
Fucker you think you're the only half-human around? Have you met the human race?

>>49919983
So you're a Broo?

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>>49919961
Let's be real, your mom died in child birth having a half dragon, you were killed immediately after coming out of the womb.

>>49919959
Actually no stupid race modifiers allowed. A half Orc mage? Out.
A half ogre - out
Elf - nope.


Why? How would you be able to exist in a society if you were half another creature? Shit it's the current year and even humans can't get along just because they are from somewhere else regardless of skin colour or nationality.

Either way you can probably tell I prefer my games mostly in reality, not a power fantasy, a waifu wank, or fap bait. I am fucking completely sick of all those tropes.

I also play games where PCs die permanently. If you do not fear death why even play a game? Just read a book, play a vidya, or watch a movie.

This is just my bend, and I refuse to make a PC hugbox.

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>>49920088
Nothing wrong with that.

Praise Malia! Praise Thed!

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>>49920095
Check your privilege, obviously I was born from when the rich master raped his Dragon slaves, like Thomas Jefferson.

You should stop having such an unrealistic power fantasy crusading against rape and rapeborn, it's an unrealistic hugbox.

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>>49919913
>Works every time.

I'm glad you've either ran through any players that have the ability for independent thought or started off lucky with a group of meek shits you could bully into submission so they sit quiet and 'enjoy' your beautiful, simplistic world, anonymous.

Also even if you did accept the premise that all half-things are rapebabies, what sort of nonsensical leap in logic is "Well fine, there's no way you could become an advenurer if as a child you were discarded."?

This makes assumptions on a few levels - first that all rapebabies are discarded. Second that a discarded rapebaby can't be handed over to or found by a willing parent/church/institution/she-wolf and must instead be thrown from a cliff or something.

What if your player told you "No, my character's mother was a human who got raped by an elf but decided to keep her pretty mongelbaby, so here I am." Are you just going to say no because despite it fitting your crazy idea that all halfbreeds are rape babies it doesn't fit your mandatory second step that the baby must be discarded? What if she gave her halfbaby to an orphanage, or the baby was discovered by a passing group of rape-goblins who kept the rape-baby as a rape-slave until adulthood? Is that last one at least suitable for your wild world?

>>49919739
Clearly you need to get out more.

>>49920095

You've never actually run a game in your life, have you?

>>49919913
So in your setting humans are creatures alien to real-world humans that would never consider willingly putting their genitals to anything not also human, or is every single individual of non-human species unfailingly virtuous and traditionalist except when it comes to their raping tendencies?

>>49919348
Is... is the centaur pregnant again?

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>>49920127
Guy I bet you think that if a human fucked a horse a Centaur would come out.

Let's take the half Orc ogre etc.

How is this child concieved? A drunk human discovers a "female" Orc that's half dead rapes it, bails *amazingly* the semen and egg are compatible to make a sterile half breed that if born in Orc society gets killed immediately or in human society the mom is slain, because .. You know Orc....

Ok dragon born - mom gets killed by an enormous drag cock.

Half elementals? Everyone knows don't stick it in lava.

See I'm not saying other races can't exist, but half races honestly have no place. ( Sorry Gary it's the one thing I'm discarding from your 1ed DMG.)

Elves as PCs too.

Hey they don't mind an enjoy the struggle for survival as well as making new characters every time "I" (the bbeg) have my way with them. I hate losing but I lose half of the time.

Sometimes it's not only the narrative but the crunch that makes it fun too, and the "rogue like" situation makes the game always tense.

>>49920292
>this image was created and presented by the artist without a hint if irony

>>49920292
>Ok dragon born - mom gets killed by an enormous drag cock.
They have magic and shit that lets them turn into reasonable-sized humanoids, though.

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>>49919913
>Well fine, there's no way you could become an advenurer if as a child you were discarded.
Wat.

>>49919913
Hey DM, my Parents were in a loving relationship but were lynched by an angry mob who blamed their union for a lousy harvest, I was rescued adopted by a local clergyman.

Glad my character is cool though, not being the product of rape or anything.

>>49920292
What if the guy fucks a female dragon?

>>49920292
Half-orc can either be women captured by orc raiders that get Stockholm syndrome, or the drunken human thing you suggested.

Either way, it's are often called out as not caring about that sort of thing. As long as the half-breeds can pull their weight, they can live. They even have some advantages in orc society for how smart they end up.

Dragons can shapeshift, so size isn't a worry. Combined with extremely high intellect and charisma, it's easy for them to protect the child in even nonviolent ways.

Half-elementals are easy if you screw an Undone or something more humanoid. You saying an Efreet, who can grant literal wishes, couldn't get past that hurdle? I could easily see an infertile man or woman finding the lamo, wishing they could have kids, and having that twisted to get a baby of the sort.

Further, many half-breeds in d&d aren't infertile at all. Genasi basically have entire societies on other planes descended from those sorts of pairings. This isn't unheard of in nature either, and with literal magic and gods things are only made easier.

Quite simply put, if the only way you can conceive of that going is rape and then infanticide, you do not have the creativity to be a DM. Full stop.

>>49920045
>best guess: cartoon
>link to a /v/ thread
Is there a sauce to this picture?

>>49920292
Take it up with J.R.R. Tolkien. Half elves are almost as old as what you'd recognise as elves themselves. Or does the name Elrond not ring a bell? Likewise half-orcs.

Now if you want to go all the way back to the 11th century then fair enough, but as of the 12th we've got Merlin as a half demon. You certainly could make a setting with such ancient mythological inspirations, but it wouldn't look anything like D&D.

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>>49920292

The concept of half elves (and half anythings) predates Gary Gygax you know, anon.

The thing is, you seem to acknowledge in your game that they're biologically possible (excepting cases where the sex / birth would kill the female, but I've seen some bizarre canine crossbreeds between large and small breeds), and you're drawing the line socially. You're basically arbitrating to your players that their parents would have them killed.

Let me throw a scenario at you for the half orc.

Orc takes female slave, impregnates. Mother has baby. Let's say for a moment that people in your world experience varieties of thoughts rather than all conforming to your broad blanket conception of "murder all rapebabies" because you'll find this isn't the case in real life. Let's say the mother escapes with her ugly orc baby and tries to raise it.

>Half elementals? Everyone knows don't stick it in lava.

Are you saying that every elemental in your game is a lava golem? There are other sorts of elementals that don't literally categorically embody their element.

Anyway, there are possible scenarios where you could have WORKED WITH YOUR PLAYERS instead of DICTATING to your players. Hell, you could even tell them "I find it very unlikely and you need to give me a good scenario" without your autism tier "lol rapebabies everyone kills rapebabies are you stupid the door's over there SJW scum this isn't a hugbox"

Hell, you could've gone "this is a humans only game because that's my preference" and that still would have been less retarded than you just arbitrating player backstories by inferring rape and subsequent abandonment or murder in 100% of cases.

>>49920426
>I said slay the dragon not lay the dragon!
>this is what I get for sending a bard to do a knight's job...

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>>49920292

>>49920100
What the fuck am I looking at?

>>49919814
Celestials are outsiders.

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>>49920476
>there are possible scenarios where you could have WORKED WITH YOUR PLAYERS instead of DICTATING to your players.

>>49919348
Not since zeuss happened there aren't

>>49920497
It's from King of Dragon Pass. If I rember right it's an event where your cattle herds get infected with what are basically chaos spawn

>>49920100
Underrated post

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>>49920095

So, you're telling me EVERY HUMAN ON THE PLANET refuses to get along with people because of geographic separation and/or skin color. So a vietnamese immigrant and austrian immigrant could never meet in the US, fall in love, and have kids? Someone from fucking New York could never so much as have a friend from Seattle? Every Chinese person inherently hates every other culture on the planet?

What reality do you live in?

>>49920457
>Dragons can shapeshift,

INTO HUMANS. INTO HUMANS. Thus the child is HUMAN. There are no dragon genetics there.

>>49920476
A fire elemental is made of fire; a water elemental is made of water; etc. This is fundamental shit. That's their entire thing. They are beings of their element. You can't impregnate an earth elemental for the same reason you can't expect a half-forest when you have a wet dream after a long time hiking.

>>49920623
He lives in the baitzone

>>49920641

Not a half forest, but a half fern or a half tree. Where do you think the surname 'Bush' came from?

>>49920641
Dryads have to come from somewhere, you silly billy.

>>49920670
They're nature spirits in their original lore.

>>49920623
normaly I don't like dragging out the /pol/ boogeyman... but at this point I kinda think it's either that or just assume he's shitposting for laughs.

>>49920679
In the original lore they tricked men into being their husbands and raising kids

>>49920641
>INTO HUMANS. INTO HUMANS. Thus the child is HUMAN. There are no dragon genetics there.
That's not how the magic works mate.

>>49920641

So I'm trying to think of a pun here involving rocks/rock people, but all I can think of right now is Dwayne Johnson and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

... MYCONIDS

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>>49920641
Genies are elemental beings in D&D (and, if I understand correctly, the usual source of genasi) and they seem like they might have the right equipment.

>>49919913
I'll jump to the defense of the half bloods of the board here. My last character was a half elf sorcerer. He was born to a a minor noble house as a result of an arranged marriage. His father was the youngest son of a major merchant family who was given the choice of marry this elf woman in a strategic marriage or join the clergy. His mother agreed to it because her family would benefit greatly from it and she would only have to stick it out for a century then the human would die and she'd take control of his assets.

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>>49919348
All life naturally desires humanity.

>>49920469
https://chan.sankakucomplex.com/?tags=leviathan_%28mikoyan%29

Probably impractical as a PC in most campaigns, unfortunately.

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>>49919728
You have to love your daughters.

>>49920921
Rika's lookin a little inbred

Genesai aren't half humans. They could be humans that are influenced by elemental energy or descendant of humans influenced by elemental energy.

>>49920641
>my setting is all settings

Nah. You're inventing rules to prevent it from working, and then citing those as reasons it wouldn't work.

>>49920949
This same with half elementals. You're mom didn't have sex with a rock monster, your mom got blessed by a rock monster or you got an infusion of rock monster power at birth.

>>49920949
Genasi are specifically the offspring of Genies and mortals in regards to the Elemental Evil Players Companion for 5e.

You do know Dragonborn aren't humans at all right.

3.5: An individual who worshiped bahamet and did a ritual

Any other edition: Race of people engineered by dragons.

>>49920949
It'd be more accurate to say they can be. Genesi can be both Half-elementals born of djinn and human relations, or from some superhero esque experiment that gave a guy freaky fire powers.

>>49921032
Ah, they were planar influenced people in 3.PF.

>>49920903
I should add, the elves of the setting are closer to old Irish mythology than Tolkeen.

This is coming from someone who despises Half-Races and prefers either human only stuff or "exotic" stuff like Hobgoblins, Goblins, Orcs, Warforged etc as player races. I despise Elves, Gnomes, Halfings, etc. Dwarves can be okay.

If the races can produce half-breeds there really isn't a reason to ban them from play.
>Half-Orcs
Truces between barbarian tribes

Wizards trying to build a slave army(shit PF orcs intentionally make Half-Breeds on purpose to lead there shit since they're usually smarter and live longer).

Normal couple after a freak polymorph accident turns one into an Orc.

>Half Elf
No real reason for this to not be playbe if humans and elves can breed. If elves are fairy as opposed to humans with pointy ears, then it's fine saying they straight up don't exist.

>>49920641
>You can't impregnate an earth elemental for the same reason you can't expect a half-forest when you have a wet dream after a long time hiking.
I think you highly underestimate how insanely dedicated can people be to fucking someone or something. And than there is wizards... Let's not talk about them.

>>49921185
Is say that even if Elves were more otherworldly fae, having half-elves would still be acceptable in the same vein as a half demon or half dragon. Perhaps even just having it as more of a symbol of your parents having made a deal with fae, similar to how tieflings can be.

There's a lot of ways to justify half-breeds, and they're often easier to justify than their other parents.

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>>49919913
>Well fine, there's no way you could become an advenurer if as a child you were discarded.

Anon please.

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>>49920641
>A fire elemental is made of fire; a water elemental is made of water; etc. This is fundamental shit.

I disagree, but either way you didn't address the rest of my post.

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>>49919913
He's not even trying lads c'mon

>>49920641
>you can't expect a half-forest when you have a wet dream after a long time hiking.
Not with that attitude you can't!

>>49921499
That guy in the background though
>All those other people celebrating the twat in a toga.
>Fuck that, Imma punch his horse.
.

>>49921703
We are not clever people

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>>49920641
> THAS NOT HOW MAGIC WORKS
Are you actually autistic?

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>>49921703
>>49919913
Well, it's another thread interrupted by Virt or a Virt-adjacent. Let's all forget this happened, and have some fun with humans boinking things. Have a Mr. Rogers quote, and just remember that /tg/ is good people.

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>>49919600

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Why do we only ever have half-nonhumans? Actually, why is it when we hear "half-elf" we assume the other half is human?

Surely in generic fantasy land where you have humans, dwarves, elves, token-other-race that you'd have half-elf-half-dwarves occasionally?
Hell, I don't even remember seeing half-hearted appearing in games since... ever. Are you seriously telling me nobody's ever fucked a bearded lady shortstack?

>>49919348
>It turns out every human is just a mutt of multiple races, to the point they 'even' out.

>Variants in ability scores/abilities come from having slightly more Dwarf DNA, or elf dna, etc.

>That's also why they can breed with every race.

>It's also why they're the 'average' race.

>>49922144
Practically? No reason.

The actual reason is because people will push your Mary Sue shit in for suggesting such a thing.

>>49922144
>Actually, why is it when we hear "half-elf" we assume the other half is human?
You could explain that pretty well with saying that these terms are used from ahuman perspective.

>Surely in generic fantasy land where you have humans, dwarves, elves, token-other-race that you'd have half-elf-half-dwarves occasionally?
Because Tolkien didn't have those. That's the sole reason. Tolkien did half-elves, so other works must have them too, so they copied them without understanding why there exist in his works. Though I had this discussion here before and some anons argued against half-elf-half-dwarfs with stupid shit that didn't make much sense.

>>49922144
In my campaigns, half elves are super common.
As in, elves bang a lot of things, like centaurs, or dragons, or elementals.

>>49920095
You sound like a very boring DM.

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>>49919913
I can't even tell if you are a troll or just a really shitty DM

>>49922308
That makes sense, after living for goddamn ever you've got to find ways to amuse yourself. And the "Usually Chaotic Good" part mostly cuts off the "torture innocents to death in a thousand different ways" path that's usually taken.

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>>49920292
>>49919913
>>49920641
oh hey virt, how you doing?

>>49922484
>"Chief Grukgurk half orc too. Other hey, also orc"

Okay that got a chuckle out of me.

>>49922484
Seriously, though, fuck all this rapebaby shit. If the only way someone can imagine a half-breed existing is through forced congress then what are you even doing playing at being elves and wizards?

This is fantasy, and I can state with some level of sureness that one of mankind's oldest fantasies is to fuck exotic, non-human beings and then write about the amazing exploits of their awesome, half-breed freak children.

Those can come just as easily from happy, loving relationships as from horrible acts of depravity. Put some effort into it, shit.

>>49922437
Just a shitposter, report him.

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>>49922484
>virt

baka

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>>49922484
Ain't. But that is actually a compliment coming from a /tg/ anon.

I'm just someone with an opinion. The game I describe is my game, it doesn't have to be yours. I stand by my comments.

>>49922438
Yeah, elves get a bit weird in their old age.
And they are often absentee fathers because they accidentally spent 20 years on hobby activities and cone back to find fullgrown kids

>>49922484
Don't forget to report him for shitposting.

>>49922663
The problem isnt your game. Its you. Anyone who thinks all half things are rapebabies and who also thinks all rapebabies would be killed has mental and perhaps social problems.

>>49920904
I had forgotten about the original progenitor of Humanity. Tomaru.

>>49922712
Dont engage the virt, anon.

>>49922364
This

>>49922712
Here is 4c at its best. You create a thread as anonymous asking for replies. You get replies some reasonable some not, but when there's a comment that doesn't agree with, sadly, "popular 4chan opinion" it becomes an attack on an anon for no other reason than the option differs. 4chan is like an ugly girlfriend, just see what you want and ignore the rest.

Luckily I never use trips, imagine how that would end up. Just accept other individual views, if you don't like it, then like >>49922712 said, don't bait me into a response.

Meta shit sucks.

>that feeling when you're in the operating room and the doctor informs you the child is a half dragon and has immolated your wife and 2 doctors and has escaped into the streets and it's your duty as one of the towns Rangers to hunt it down and kill it before it grows out of control and claims the town as it's personal playground and robs it of it's loot for his horde

>>49921855
I'm with this Anon. Let's have a fun thread.

>>49922144
I just imagine humans got these wild genetics that are super receptive and every other race is just kinda not receptive to the whole birthing half somethings, I imagine in those kinda settings you'd see a lot more interbreeding with different races because hey, no pregnancy scares, and also a lot less humans getting it on with other races

>>49922956
I mean inter-fucking each other

>>49922956
>you'd see a lot more interbreeding with different races because hey, no pregnancy scares
Well, then it's not "interbreeding," it's just screwing. Unless it still happens but it's just so unlikely everyone figures its not going to happen to them.

>>49922830
Just couldn't stay away, eh virt?

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>>49922484
>Almost every half-orcs backstory involves a human woman being raped and dumped by an orc man
>No half-orc backstories about a human man being kidnapped and forced to impregnate an orc woman, then forced to stay behind and raise the children while the orc woman hunts to provide for her offspring
>His half-orc daughter won't become an adventurer who looks down on men because her father extremely unfeminine
>She won't save herself until she meets a man who can defeat her in a duel
>She won't have her green ass handed to her on a silver platter by a wandering orc swordsman
>She won't be pumped and dumped by him
>She won't give birth to a threequarters-orc daughter
>She won't grow to hate men and think of them as disloyal pigs because she never met her father
>She won't grow up to become an adventurer
>Afraid of being hurt, she will never forcibly kidnap a human male, force him to impregnate her and force him to become a househsuband so he can never hurt her in the same way her father hurt her mother
>Her own daughter won't grow to resent men for being weak and obedient
>The cycle won't continue in perpetuity, switching back and forth between femdom and maledom every generation

>>49923036
>because her father extremely unfeminine
*is extremely unmasculine

>>49923036
This is a really good backstory...

...(((stealing it)))

>>49922654

Virt is as much a state of mind as a guy. If your opinions are terrible and dumb enough, you too can be Virt. His name is practically a synonym for "retarded asshole."

>>49923099
someone explain the virt meme to me? it seems juicy

>>49922144
The AD&D 2E Forgotten Realms - Dwarves Deep supplement wrote off half-dwarves (be they half-gnome, halfling, human or elf) by ruling that the dwarf gene was dominant, and half-dwarves were functionally dwarves in all but height while any children they had would be half-dwarves if had with a non-dwarf or true dwarves if had with a dwarf.

Mind, that's just one ruling for one setting, even other settings within AD&D 2E sometimes ruled differently, Dark Sun Muls being the most prominent example.

Still, it's something to keep in mind the next time the dwarf jokes about there being no such thing as a half-dwarf.

>>49923097
>Triple brackets
What did they mean by this?

>>49920641
>INTO HUMANS. INTO HUMANS. Thus the child is HUMAN. There are no dragon genetics there.
A dragon shaped like a human is not a human, it is a dragon.
>>49920641
>A fire elemental is made of fire; a water elemental is made of water; etc.
No, they're made of Magic. They are made of the fundamental force of "I ain't gotta explain shit."

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>>49923169

He was a persitant shitposter who likes to think he's "le epic troll man" but he's too attached to his autistic hobby horses to actually fool anyone.
Hates 5e, narrativist games, and pretty much everything and everyone else.
Dungeon World especially sends him into a frothing-at-the-mouth rage. He wrote a godawful rap explaining his opinion, check on youtube for virtualoptim dungeon world rap. He has some weird guro elf rape fetishes he won't shut up about, too.
Also he has a tumblr, because he's a huge faggot like that.

http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/43816020/#43823558

He's kind of like /tg/'s Chris-Chan, sort of an autismo celebrity that everyone likes to laugh at, from a comfortable distance.

>>49923036
>PC is the one who breaks the cycle, settling down and starting a family.

>>49923267
Who was that other meme-troll who's name began with a C... people bring him up occasionally but I don't know what he was.

>>49922906
How would a human ranger have a half dragon son unless his wife was a dragon? Why would a dragon be burned to death by her baby? Are you implying the Ranger was cucked?
If his mom was the dragon why wouldn't the Ranger just try and recapture his son and raise him with his same set of morals knowing his son will grow up to view the town itself and all the citizens within it as his horde and dedicates his life to protecting HIS people from any that would try to do them harm?

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>>49923300
But how will she settle down? If her father was forced to impregnate her mother, she cannot simply settle down in a traditional family. She'll be forced into femdom out of spite, making her no different from her mother.

>>49923421
Clearly you're a dragon living in human disguise, you just didn't expect the kiddo to be so feisty so fast.

>>49923226
Clearly it's the shorthand for stating something implied to be secretive or underhanded while drawing full attention to it, as displayed by the villain Dan Backslide of the old cartoon "The Dover Boys at Pimento University," also known as "The Rivals of Roquefort Hall," often simply referred to as "The Dover Boys" but not to be confused with popular book series of the time "The Rover Boys," when he proclaimed "A runabout? I'LL STEAL IT! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!"

Shown in the triple bracket format this statement would read:

A runabout?
...(((I'll steal it)))
(((No one will ever know)))

(((This is all common knowledge of course and certainly not something I just made up)))

>>49923433
True you can't just break the cycle.
You must mindbreak it.

>>49923602
>>49923433
The obvious out of the cycle is a massive hunk of a knight who has strong family values

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>>49923739
>The orc woman is the loving housewife to a loyal, caring and thoughtful human
>The human dominates her every night and acts as the head of the household
>Even though the orc woman is significantly stronger and could easily crush his head between her thighs if she wished to do so
>The orc is also about a head taller than him, but always turns into a blushing pile of mush once he wraps his arm around her waist

>>49919913
I'm suprised none of your players have pulled this off. It's easy as shit.
My Mom is an orc, she works for the town guard where she met my father also a town guard. After fighting back to back, and solving crimes together they decided to get married and start a family. I was raised by my loving mother and father, with my 2 brothers and my sister. None of them are dead, and my parents are doing great thank you. They are even getting ready to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary.

Well yeah I was rape born. My human father dumped me dumped off at a temple of [fill in god here] where the priests raised me. How else do you think I became a paladin/cleric?

>>49923380
Carnac, he mostly shitposted in the 40k threads as far as I remember. Had a boner for daemons and some other faction and believed his takes on lore are 100% fact.

>>49921185
Reincarnate.

I now want to make a character whose parents were both human when they met but one had to be reincarnated and ended up as an orc, hence half-orc son.

>>49919913
One of my character's parents was an orc, and the other was an evil human. They bonded over their mutual enjoyment of murdering, looting, and raping innocents and the forces of Righteousness; they ended up marrying and having kids. My character first became a paladin as part of their rebellious teenage phase, and they managed to stick with it and are quite ashamed of their villainous roots.

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>>49919348

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>>49923540
That's fucking obvious. What I was alluding to was the fact it looks like goddamn dog shit. It's butchery of the language, right up there with using """excessive""" quotation marks and useless superfluous exclamation points!!!!!

Brackets already denote that intention. One does the job perfectly fine. What the fuck are you doing where this is some kind of SUPER word that demands an ugly mess of punctuation to denote a simple concept with an already existing symbol?

Not to mention the fact the medium we're using has spoilers as a common and accepted alternative.

What I'm saying is it looks like it belongs on damned Club Penguin. It's ugly, useless and shows a lack of understanding of how to use punctuation effectively.
Git. Fucking. Gud.

>>49924157
Ah. That intent was lost in your initial statement. Perhaps if you had been more imaginative with your usage of punctuation instead of clinging to archaic rules of usage like a shipwreck survivor to the decaying remains of their once proud craft, you would have gotten your point across.

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>>49923267
Apparently there was an anon that actually played with him.

He's just as sad as he seems- eating mostly Mac and Cheese and pining over his Ex who cucked him with one of his players

>>49919348

If they're from Exalted, no. Something about a guy feeling it for a volcano and making it erupt.

Book of Swallowed Darkness, or whatever excerpts they made for it, before you ask.

...Though I'm remembering a book with a dragon who, upon encountering a some human lady riding a horse and having the relationship between said rider and ride explained as 'like mother and child', promptly asked "What did she breed with to have THAT kind of a child?"

>>49923099
>Virt is a state of mind
This is true

>>49925666
>his Ex who cucked him with one of his players
If I remember correctly, he wasn't actually cucked. He just read his player's text messages, made asumptions, and punched the guy in the chest. The anon said he had even refused her because he thought she was emotionally vulnerable.

...which makes it even more sad.

>>49926162
Wow. What a fuck up.

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>>49919913
>Well fine, there's no way you could become an advenurer if as a child you were discarded.
>implying
Rape-orphans make the best adventurers/murderhobos, since they have to connections tying them down to a sedentary life

>>49926346
Well, Guts had a mother and father, technically. Surrogates, but still family. His surrogate mother cared for him, even if Gambino didn't, and inevitably created the situation where he didn't have any connections to anyone until Griffith defeated him.

>>49923239
>A dragon shaped like a human is not a human, it is a dragon.

Unless it is a human genetically, which it would have to be to be able to create offspring with a human. No, you can't just handwave a 60 ton lizard having the same genetics as a human with "magic." I can just as easily say that "magic" prevents exactly this bullshit.

>>49919739

That's because "bugbear" is short for "buggerybear"

>>49926955
Well who the fuck are you to try and stop the dragon from impregnating or getting impregnated whomever/by whomever it so chooses?

>>49926955
>No, you can't just handwave a 60 ton lizard having the same genetics as a human with "magic." I can just as easily say that "magic" prevents exactly this bullshit.
Yes you can, and you're exactly right, you can have magic do whatever you want it to do. I don't know why you'd choose to use magic to handwave things into a lamer state, though. That just seems against the point of magic.

>>49926975

Wouldn't that make them more likely to create offspring, not less?

>>49927011

You should probably read up on what sexual acts "buggery" generally refers to.

...either that or you're hiding a uterus up your poop hole.

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>>49923803

>>49927024

Oh, I thought he said "they're not buggerybears." Ignore me, I clearly should just go to bed now.

>>49919913
Reminds me of an actual, real GM I once had for a game that went nowhere.

System was 3rd edition D&D (not 3.5, not yet) and I wanted to roll a half-elf fighter because 3.5 hadn't come out yet and nobody knew exactly how badly imbalanced 3rd ed was at the time.

The GM wanted to know my character's backstory. Not anyone else's, just mine.

I, having put no thought in whatsoever, came up with my father being a fairly well-to-do merchant, and my mother being an Elven farmer's daughter. Shenanigans happened, there was a crossbow marriage, and I was not conceived until 5th, rather late in my father's life. All my elder siblings were my sisters who had gone off to be successful in various occupations across the globe.

"No, that can't be it. Elves don't farm. Try again."

"Okay, he was a merchant, she was also a merchant, they worked together close enough and I was one of the many results?"

"No. You're not any part elf. Be a human."

Game ended after two sessions. Nothing lost really.

>>49923803

>So fucking magical realm...

>>49923226
Triple brackets is /pol/ identifying the name of or reference to a Jew in something they copy paste. Someone made a browser extension that did it automatically.

Naturally this inspired butter, subversion, and misuse.
See
>>49923540(((You))) guessed wrong.

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>>49919348
Humans got nothing on dragons.

>>49927452
>butter
Butthurt, rather

>>49923803
Isn't that Big Barda and Scott Free?

>>49927483
It's hard to say 'no' to them.

>>49920292
You seem to only look at the images and not read the words when go through the rule book.

>>49920457
What happens when two half-orcs have kids? Then you get more half-orcs

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>>49920921
Why and how did this dude fuck his family for 6 generations straight?

>>49923036
If the cycle persists to the infinity point it actually breeds orc further and further out of the majority in the genetic line.

Taken on a population scale orcs basically become Neanderthal DNA only survived by offspring recognized as human.

>>49923433
Profound life-changing experiences

>>49927549
isn't that every couple by Kirby ?

>tfw character unknowingly married and settled down with a mindflayer ("female", if that matters)
>tfw many years down the road, he realizes the truth, and that their children are just bundles of sticks in clothes basically
>tfw will never know if she didn't actually have kids with him because she couldn't, or because she didn't want to

>>49928045
>Why
Because he could. He really cannot keep it in his pants.

>How
Because they're his family and too weak to fight back against him.

>>49920641
>you can't expect a half-forest when you have a wet dream after a long time hiking

Isn't that literally what mandrakes are?

>>49927549
How good is Scott at succeeding DC80 Escape artist checks?

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>>49919348
>Half-Slaad
How and why.
Source?

>>49929518
If there are half demons and half angels, why not half slaads?

>>49929543
Angels and devils presumably breed in the traditional sense, or at least have the equipment to. Slaads have an entirely different set up.

But then again, they do sometimes shape change. Maybe they could breed bastard mutants infused with the powers of Limbo.

>>49929543
Because one part of the slaadi reproduction cycle involves xenomorph-like tadpoles and the other mutating people into extraplanar toads directly, there can't really be half-slaadi for same reason there are no "half-mindflayers", because all of them are technically halfbreeds. Parasitic species.

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>>49929588
>Maybe they could breed bastard mutants infused with the powers of Limbo.
I am 100% sure there was some kind of half-umber hulk half-slaadi hybrid mention somewhere, but I am struggling to find the source.

>>49922144
Humans have the Versatile Seed trait, so they can just fuck wily nily and still make babies.

>>49930944
Thanks for the bump.