Eldrazi invade modern-day Earth. What happens?

>>49902975
We all die.

Everyone dies because there isn't any magic to save us.

>>49902983
>>49902985
/thread

>>49902985
But the Eldrazi coming to Earth means there is magic and opens the door for "secret society saves the world" bullshit.

Hold on. Nukes vs some tentacly monstuhh? I'd not bet on tentacly thing.

>>49903023

So... Gatewatch shows up and Catelyn Jenner is revealed to be a planeswalker?

>>49902975
They all feck off after 10 minutes when they realise there's no magic to feed on.
But that's not before killing 90% of all life on earth.

>>49902985
Earth is vastly skewed to Blue with red secondary. We're basically Kaladesh but less nice. A lot of earthen technology would count as artifacts.

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>>49903064
>The Three Titans naturally exist outside of this plane of existence
>Even then, Ulamog's main extension is indestructible

>>49903023
>Eldrazi invade Earth, devastating Africa
>The International Jewish Conspiracy launches into action
>Blue wizards everywhere start attacking the Eldrazi
>Netanyahu begins a ritual
>The Eldrazi move North
>They wipe out Egypt
>They move north-east
>Destroy all of Middle East
>Once Iran is a flattened waste, Netanyahu joins with fellow Jewwalkers George Soros, Bill Goldberg, Natalie Portman, Queen Elizabeth II and the Rothschild Lich to stop the Eldrazi

>>49903132
Would radiation damage be wither? Would sufficiently virulent toxic weapons be infect?

"This plane reeks of blue mana.

Oh, don't misunderstand- it has plenty of green to reflect its abundant life, and where there is life there is death. White and red are not absent, either.

But the blue. Massive bodies of water aside, the sheer desperate hunger for knowledge and understanding and comprehension permeated the magic of this place. Most planes have some variety of mages or another, in various fashions. Without doubt, I could deduce that the vast, vast majority of any such talents here were blue. This was somewhat worrisome."

>>49902975
if humanity gathered together we would destroy the physical forms enough for them to back off after a notable amount of damage to earth

if not we would likely die in an extended war

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>>49903203
Depends on how their anatomy actually works, most of the stories seem to have them spewing goo everywhere being nebulous.
For living organism, radiation would be infect and virulent toxins would probably be infect.
>Scientists open portal to try and evacuate civilians
>Pic Related comes through

>>49903201
Who's which color?

Are there any novels regarding Eldrazi out there?

Could the movie Avengers take the Eldrazi?

>>49903353
Soros: Blue Black
Goldberg: Blue Red
Portman: Blue White
The Queen: Black White
Rothschild: Black Blue Red

>>49903098

we certainly have vehicles we can hit them with.

>>49903295
>Phyrexians are somewhat friendly and they don't all assimilate/kill/mindcontrol us instantly.
And what would happen then?

>>49903295
Never realized negator had tits.

>>49902975
Trading cards knowledge became vital for the survival of mankind.

>>49902975
What's an Eldrazi? An eldarin nazi or something like that?

>>49903098

>no mana

>being this delusional

>>49903382
And Netanyahu is pure blue.

>>49902975
Nothing happens, Eldrazi eat mana, and there's no mana here, so they leave.

>>49903508
They're also fucking blind in here because no leylines

>>49903508
> The day is saved because our world is shit.
FUCK YEAH!

>>49903517
>They just keep running into mountains and shit

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>>49903551
>>49903517
>>49903508
You seem to be forgetting what happens to "dead, manaless" planes or planes baited

>>49903551
Reminds me of the 40k thread where our entire world is filled with Blanks and that's how we avoided the Grimm Dark future.

>>49903432
They assimilate/kill/mind control everything eventually due to some Eco-terrorists using a dust plane to spread glistening oil to a population center or two.

>>49903574
Sounds like the first good 40k thread in years

>>49902975
Unless the Gatewatch show up VERY early to stop them,we all die 'cause there are no spellcasters,huge monsters/elementals and other magic stuff to slow down their advance.

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>>49902975
Full version

>>49902975
I'm pretty sure there are more than 14 squirrels available to fight them.

>>49903360
Maybe not in a direct fight using only their standard equipment. But there's hundreds of mcguffins and plot devices in any big setting, so of course they'll win in the end.

>>49903760
They're blind in here and have no incentive on staying because no resources for them here.

What are primary powers of Eldrazi?

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>>49903892
Depends on the Titan they origniate from.
Ulamog and it's brood consume reality/mana, turning all into dust
Kozilek and it's brood warp reality and the laws of physics
Emrakul corrupts all biological or thinking life to become one with her.
Despite what you first think, Ulamog and Kozy is weakshit compared to Emrakul.

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>>49903467
There is a lot of evidence for well-made mundane items being artifacts that are actually worth shit on the MtG battlefield.

And yes, we have mana. We just don't have a lot of wizards directly channeling it.

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>>49903508
>terrifying monsters from outer space come to earth
>stomp all over mankind's conventional defenses
>they quickly die because our planet's natural features are anathema to them

I wonder where I've heard this one before

Simple, we roll to seduce them.

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>>49905188
Done

>>49904368
They are blind here too, so you'll have eldritch abominations drunkenly stumbling into buildings and mountains

>>49902975
We run around like headless chickens waiting for our lords and saviors the Jacetice League to barge in, overshadow our world and all our struggles, explode them in an evening, then take all the credit when they fuck off.

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>>49902975
We would apply Japan Solution to them

>>49902975

Jace teleports to pentagon to say there is only one way to solve the problem
>Nissa and Chandra
Jace finds them
>Get to the chopper
they blast eldrazy right ?

>>49902975
We win through sheer power of friendship.

>>49902975
>>49902975

America enacts the Contingency.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV0I-iA5lJU

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>>49905236
Can i get fused into em>>49905301
rakul

>>49907307
So the world can be reduced to wasteland twice as fast?

>>49907307
They can't destroy humanity if we destroy it first!

If goatherds in the middle east are brave enough to shoot at tanks and blow them up with pipebombs
then im sure a Combined civilian and millitary effort is enough to fuck them
A bunch of white cards talk about friendship or teamwork being the only way to kill these fucks anyway

>>49902975
atomic bombs

>>49902975
I thought we were all Planeswalkers?
We'll fuck em up with CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES.

>e-earth can't possibly lose! baka!
These fags are the worst.

>>49903360
they already did

:^)

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>>49908517
I'm sorry, but did someone just say "Humanity, Fuck Yeah!" thread?

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>>49908535
I think someone did.

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>>49908549

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>>49908566

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>>49908574

>>49908517
>Doubting Humanity
But Anon, we're so alpha predator that we stopped hunting. We've literally beat reality as we know it, every species, every natural disaster, and we're working on living in every climate too.

Whooping an invading horror's ass would only be par for the course for us. I mean, why do you think unstoppable horrors on these unthinkable scales exist in our Fiction? Because we can't find them in reality. We write about this kind of stuff because we hope that one day the Earth might get invaded by aliens, or demons might come pouring out of a rift into hell, because honestly... It's been forever since we've had a good fight.

>>49904174
>Enough butcher knife packing humans can kill emrakul
Just imagine an F-15

>>49903472
>Bibi
>Not pure shitposting
he channels the ancient magic color known only as australium.

>>49903568
They become earth.

Normality and mediocrity, truly a fate worse than death.

>>49908535
>>49908736
>abloobloobloobloo
I repeat: you are the worst faggots imaginable.

>>49908738
except emrakul has indestructible

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>>49908813
>w-we can beat the eldrazi
>why though
>be-because we c-can!

>>49907631
That's spooky.

>>49908813
>>49908823
but there have been points made, you guys have made no points
we have enough fire power to destroy their bodies enough so that they will go and bother another plane instead

i guess if it was both of us going at it until one of us is totally dead then sure the eldrazi would probobly do enough damage to destroy earth before we could stop them

but thats not how the eldrazi work at all, it takes mana for them to make their bodies and they only want to use so much on each plane, otherwise they wont get a net gain

>>49908823
>we can beat the eldrazi
>b-but nobody can beat muh supr fukken monsters
>here's why we can
>assortment of good reasons including but not limited to: earth's own colours, the complete absence of mana, the fact that if there is mana then there will be people who know how to use it, the sheer comparative power of our mundane weapons, the possibility that some of these mundane weapons would inflict appropriate types of damage
>b-but muh hfn
>bububububu waaaaaaaaaaaaaah

fuck off faggot

>>49908477

This.

>Eldrazi invade earth
>Magic pours through the rifts
>cards are embued with planeswalking
>all nerds wreck the eldrazi with their overpowered Standard and Modern and Vintage decks
>Multiverse saved by Weebs

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>>49909093
Do all hfyfags get as bootyblasted as you do?

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>>49909185

>>49909093
What actually happens is that the Eldrazi pome their heads in, see nothing of value, then leave.

They don't consume empty Planes.

>>49902975

>try to consume mana of UK
>catch brexit
>slowly die
>dead corpse collapses on part of japan
>AngryAbe.jpeg

Pretty sure we have more than 15 squirrels, we'll be fine

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>>49910470

>>49910470
We don't have any enchantments to give the squirrels flying or reach though

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>>49910808
We just have to fling each of them at emrakul

>>49903098
Earth is overwhelmingly Gruul, especially these days. We're obsessed with sex and violence and we ignore those with good ideas if they conflict with our consumption of sex and violence.

>>49903201
>Netanyahu joins with fellow Jewwalkers George Soros, Bill Goldberg, Natalie Portman, Queen Elizabeth II and the Rothschild Lich to stop the Eldrazi

I would read the books and watch the movies for this franchise.

>>49908814
Just give him a plowshare.

>>49910839
>Stoner The Cozying
>Mana is Dank (G), Deep (U), Chill (W), Spooky (B), Uncool (R)

>>49911077
>Uncool
>not Wild

You had one gig, Mac .

I'm sorry, but I can't take any Eldrich horror seriously when it can be killed by 13 squirrels.

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>>49902985

>>49903432
They assimilate/kill/mindcontrol us slowly.

Maybe even over several generations.
Probably less than three.

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>>49903067
>Catelyn Jenner is revealed to be a planeswalker

>>49908566
>healers unstoppable
kek

>>49909093
>assortment of good reasons including but not limited to: earth's own colours,

Earth doesn't have colours; it doesn't have magic, period.

>the fact that if there is mana then there will be people who know how to use it,

Is this to say that the Eldrazi haven't anihilated planes full of experienced magic users? Entire kingdoms of god-tier mages?

> the sheer comparative power of our mundane weapons

Oh please.

>>49913369
>Is this to say that the Eldrazi haven't anihilated planes full of experienced magic users? Entire kingdoms of god-tier mages?

But!

Countless Squirrels.

>>49902975
Given the nukes, railguns, drones and shit we have at our disposal they'd probably be turned into paste.

>>49908814
>emrakul has indestructible
rtfc

But in all reality we would just nuke them and add in some VX for good measure.

>>49902975
Really the only reason the Eldrazi are a threat is because they attack civilizations that haven't advanced much past crossbows. Magic is pretty impressive but it's not going to stop a piece of metal at speeds that can break sound barriers.

>>49913957

The fuck is a nerve gas gonna do to a thing that doesn't even have nerves?

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>>49913992
>Magic is pretty impressive but it's not going to stop a piece of metal at speeds that can break sound barriers.

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>>49914018

though on the flip side...

>>49914018
Muskets are like pop guns compared to the actual weapons we have today. Black powder is also a pretty shit explosive material.

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So given that guns and earth tech exists in mtg, the question is what defensive cards could embrakul use to cockblock HFY types main schtick of guns&nukes. Which in turn requires working out how to stat HFY bullshit as cards.

So is a nuke an artifact that clears the board, and how would you counter that in mtg?

>>49914130
Really you'd need to pop a spell that destroys an artifact.

Though comparing muskets / clearly experimental portable machine guns to something like modern ship guns, railguns, tomahawks, ect. isn't really much of a comparison. Especially if you compare the reload times the actual power of the weapons themselves.

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>creatures that fuck with physics and the very fabric of reality itself.

>"lol, just nuke them"

Seriously?

>>49914199

Shit, Emrakul locking herself in the moon has her unmake a magicial nuke, that lore rabbit was keeping safe.

You'd have to cheat a lot more the rules of reality then just using a nuke.

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>>49914177

Okay so how many steel walls can those things shoot through?

>>49914199
Yes because, believe it or not, Eldrazis are made of flesh and having atoms ripped from fleshy things tends to make those things not exist anymore.

>>49914130
Her own ability counters it. Every time she dies, she and your yard get shuffled into your deck. They run out of "cards" before she stops being cast.

>>49914222
A lot actually. The average ship gun can fire at about 732 meters per second.

>>49914199
creatures that fuck with physics and the very fabric of reality itself.

>can be taken down by an energetic artist

they would be a problem but not impossible

>>49914239

Motherfucker, you're trying to beat magneto while in a suit of iron armor.

You're in the matrix without the chosen one and they got fucking admin rights.

You're a fucking orc trying to get uppity against Morgoth.

It does not go your way.

>>49914239
How many times can you drop a nuke somewhere before you can't survive? Emrakul and the titans can keep coming back. Your biosphere cant.

>>49903067
God I hope so, maybe that means he'll leave.

>>49914292
Eldrazi are at best Tyrannies that suck on magic out of planets, they don't do anything outside walking towards leylines and happen to not fall when you throw fire at them.

If the Titans themselves don't show up, the broods are made of meat and can just be killed with guns.

The Titans won't show up because there's no fucking mana on our plane to eat.

>>49914311
Why would anything go to the effort of fighting against something that can actually fight back? Even if these creatures have the base intelligence of most "consume everything" races they know better than to smashing their heads against a iron wall.

Wait...
Eldrazi are after magic, right?
And WE have no magic?
So we should be fine, right?

>>49913992
Well, there's also the fact that they exist outside reality and what you see in cards aren't the actual Eldrazi themselves but a fragment of them intersecting physical space.

Maro assumes his true form and defeats them using the power of friendship.

>>49914419
Why would he use the power of friendship?
He'd make another Legacy Weapon or something like that.

>>49914414
Really if the thing hive mind they operate under cannot easily get the food it wants quickly why wouldn't it just move onto another plane? Dispatching the Eldrazi isn't that hard for a civilization like ours and if it can't just roll over the plane it's feeding from what's the point in sticking around?

>>49914457
They would stick around because they have a job to do. They devour old planes to make way for new planes, like a recycling system.

If our plane's number is dialed, and the Titans pick up the phone, they would come over for dinner regardless of how much there is to eat.

Can't we just use Magic™ to defeat them?
You know, the card game. look it up.

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>>49914429
Get with the times gramps

>>49914499
Given in the lore it doesn't really say anything about them working for a greater purpose I assume they work like most "Consume everything" species which is is very animalistic.

Also considering the "avatars" they send to this plane can be pretty easily dispatched since we aren't attacking them with piddly bullets/arrows and fireballs.

Therefore it would be very easy to assume that anything that is having a bitch of a time trying to consume it's food would simply move on like most animals would.

>>49914311
Given the size of the creature all you'd really need to do was surround it with a few battle ship and fire at it till it was paste.

>>49914571
Actually, they've pretty much confirmed that they DO have a greater purpose, just not the specifics on what it is - though the recycling system thing is hinted at

>>49914546
It's rather obvious to anyone with half a brain that 'Maro' is the false identity taken on by one Urza Planeswalker when he got sick of dealing with everything else and decided to fuck around making children's card games instead.
There is a reason Urza's block is the most broken block of all time.
Why Urza's nemesis is routinely stated to be Magic's Ultimate Big Bad.
Fuck, he created Karn and the Weatherlight and is responsible for more broken artifacts than anyone else ever.
And Urza doesn't give a single flying fuck about the power of friendship when the power of giant deathlasers created by an illogical combination of artifacts will work just as well.

>>49914609
There's the difference, if it's going to keep going at it regardless of defeats that's a very difficult foe to defeat.

Though I don't really see the Eldrazi making too much headway we might run out of munitions in a few years.

How where they able to defeat the the Eldrazi during the Rise of the Eldrazi block?

>>49914571
Except you're wrong. Have you actually read the URs? Try going back and reading the Emrakul focused ones from SOI. Her last one especially hinted at a higher purpose than just consuming.

Also, It in stated at least twice that the Titans shouldn't be destroyed because he thought they served some greater function in the multiverse. It's why he trapped them in the first place.

No, humans would win because we have guns and tanks and nukes and fuck your elves and magic

>>49914675
It seems more like they serve a purpose in making new planes in the same way that a lion eating a gazelle serves a great purpose in the carbon cycle. They don't have a conscience desire to contribute to the cycle past "Me hungry, me eat."

Though I haven't read anything related to SOI can't afford to have the magic addiction again.

Ulamog is indestructible and nobody has defenses against Emrakul's plane-wide mental assault. Enslavement and death is the only option.

>>49910950
some of us may be ideologically gruul, but most of what we have that actually count as magic (from an mtg perspective) is in the form of artifacts.
>>49903508
we have lands, therefore we have mana. We just don't have any mages to make use of it.
After all, we still see the natural effects of mana in our world. White mana orders societies, green mana grows life, black mana causes decay, etc. We even are able to tap into natural resources in order to make artifacts.

>>49914571
>Given in the lore it doesn't really say anything about them working for a greater purpose


>"Are you Emrakul?" Jace didn't know what he was risking, and increasingly didn't care. Caution is for those with a winning hand. "What do you want?"
>She paused her writing, considering the scroll. "This is all wrong. I am incomplete, unfulfilled, inchoate. There should be blossoms, not barren resentment. The soil was not receptive. It is not my time. Not yet." The way she said, 'yet', sent a shiver through Jace's neck.

>>49914239
The Eldrazi are not made of flesh. The Eldrazi are eldritch Ur-beings that exist outside of our reality and are made of the stuff between universes. They do not follow the same rules we do. Their physical forms are just portions of their whole being and destroying them at best mildly inconveniences them.

>>49903845
Fucking kek

>>49914876
Really that doesn't really indicate much to me other than that they eat when something is "ripe"

>>49914891
Correction: they ARE made of flesh, but the majority of that flash is extraplanar and cannot be accessed by any means. Without Ugin's planar binding rune and sufficient magical power, the most you can do is destroy the eldrazi titan's physical form (very difficult: Emrakul regenerates at frightening speeds, Kozilek distorts reality so even attacking him directly and not having your attack spiral off into nothingness [or, say have your precious nuke detonate 6000 years later because it fell into a patch of distorted time] is an ordeal] and Ulamog is flatly indestructible, physical attacks don't work), and destroying the titan's physical form just inconveniences them. They will remain alive.

>>49902975
We stomp effortlessly because of the retarded way the lore was written. Nobody here seems to be keeping in mind that the Eldrazi were driven back by "muh independent stronk fire grill."
Like they went from eldritch entities from another plane of existence to just really big creatures.

>>49914925
Why would she be incomplete if it's just a matter of time? There's no "blossoms" because Kozilek hasn't been here to reshape the world into something adequate for her use.
Ulamog is that which devours. The other two serve other purposes.

>>49914929
don't lesser eldrazi basically exist as planar beings, or are they extraplanar as well?

>>49914945
Look at the post above you, then try to grasp how little you actually understand the lore.
>>49914953
Lesser Eldrazi are the same as Eldrazi titans, just on a smaller, more replaceable scale. There are only 3 Eldrazi. All the "broods" are the same entity, just different tendrils of its million-handed form. The real extraplanar body is the size of a small planet.

>its a "mechanics VS lore" episode.

Oh boy!

>>49914961
oh cool, so whenever one of the titans spawns lesser eldrazi, it is really just an aspect of that titan intruding onto that plane from the blind eternities?
eldrazi are neat.

>>49914947
That's different. Pretty much all I've ever read about them says that they eat magic and are indestructible. Though given the fact that MTG doesn't have much past line of dudes firing muskets and a few people lobbing fireballs.

>>49914947
>>49915025
I think of it in terms of "My musket cannot piece this tank! It is indestructible!"

>>49915003
Yep. The story has used the analogy of a the titan we see on the cards (for example, kozilek the great distortion) are in truth only being equivalent to a hand, and the lesser eldrazi are equivalent to cells and organs. The true Eldrazi are much, much larger. We never saw that on a card.

>>49914929
>Emrakul regenerates at frightening speeds
Given the standards it's up against, which is arrows and maybe cannons that take 3-5 minutes to reload I'm pretty sure a barrage of broadside cannon fire from aircraft carriers would probably take it down pretty easy.

>Kozilek distorts reality so even attacking him directly and not having your attack spiral off into nothingness [or, say have your precious nuke detonate 6000 years later because it fell into a patch of distorted time] is an ordeal]
Really the biggest component of fighting such a creature because while it might be able to displace the projectile how fast can it actually do this? The actual speed of a ship side cannon fire is 732 meters per second which nothing physical can even blink that fast. If this power requires a reaction from then it's probably not going to not get hit by a shell, or three given that the best strategy to take something down like this would be to surround it with aircraft carriers.

>Ulamog is flatly indestructible, physical attacks don't work
Again by the standards of arrows and medieval cannons.

>>49915167
>Given the standards it's up against, which is arrows and maybe cannons that take 3-5 minutes to reload
Dude, what? No. The "standard" I was using was Liliana wielding the Chain Veil, who unleashes building-size blasts of destructive energy every few seconds. She could level a city. She only managed to distract Emrakul for a bit and keep herself alive. You don't know this story at all.
>Really the biggest component of fighting such a creature because while it might be able to displace the projectile how fast can it actually do this?
Talking about time frames in a creature that distorts time will get you nowhere. Tazri experienced several billion years in the frame of less than a second because she wandered too close to Kozilek, who didn't even notice her. Presume it's an automatic response.
>Again by the standards of arrows and medieval cannons.
By the standards of plane-destroying oldwalkers.

>>49902985
More like the darzi all die because there's no mana for them to feed on.

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>>49915167
>>Ulamog is flatly indestructible, physical attacks don't work
>Again by the standards of arrows and medieval cannons.
And high-magitech disintegration cannons.

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>>49915214
Also the actual nuke of MtG.

>>49908783
pretty sure >>49903568 meant that they get destroyed and consumed by the blind eternities.

>>49914130
From what I know, WotC to some extent pretending guns (and cannons) don't exist in MTG. Not even if we go to pirate world.

>>49914378
Spoiler: 2 titans are dead because their food fought back.

>>49915025
Think of it like this. You put your hand in a lake to grab a fish. The fish destroys your hand. Well guess what? the rest of you is still fine. You can probably even grow back your hand. It's not that the eldrazi are flat out indestructible (forget ulamog's rules text for a minute), it's that under most conditions, only a small part of them is even accessible. Sure planeswalkers are able to access the eldrazi on their own turf, but there's no way in hell they are going to win that kind of fight. That's why Nissa had to pull them into plane of zendikar.

>>49902975

They get shot.

>>49915025
>Though given the fact that MTG doesn't have much past line of dudes firing muskets and a few people lobbing fireballs.
What the fuck is an oldwalker, you mong?

>>49915394
An oldwalker is a planeswalker before the mending.

>Humans can totally beat the Eldrazi if we ignore everything that makes an Eldrazi an Eldrazi!

I am pretty sure that if this thread was Yawgmoth vs Earth, you hfy fags would be saying how humans can totally beat him.

So how do you think these Eldrazi taste? Given their regenerative properties, they seem like a good solution to world hunger.

>>49915402
And that's a shitload more then just tossing a fireball around, and they got their shit pushed in.

>>49915419
Oh, believe me. I'm sure world hunger wouldn't be anywhere close to a problem by the time they're done.

>>49902975
They ruin every format they set their foot on.

>>49915419
They taste like "OH GOD EVERYTHING IS ZOMBIES".

>>49915424
Sure, but everything beyond our capabilities are magical in nature, we don't really have any way of knowing how they would handle non-magical attacks on the scale we can produce.

>>49915348
>You put your hand in a lake to grab a fish. The fish destroys your hand. Well guess what? the rest of you is still fine.
Seems likely that you'll die of an infection or just blood loss unless you treat it fast. Also, I sure wouldn't dip my hand in there ever again.

>>49915435
Nigger, it's not a case of them having high magic resistance or some shit. That's like saying "Well, he was shot five times and it didnt' slow him down, but we don't really have any way of knowing how he would handle knife based attacks."

>>49915408
How the fuck would we clean up that oil?

>>49915426
You're probably right. I mean, they can apparently regenerate without any sort of sustenance at all, which means you can just keep harvesting them over and over, As long as you avoid killing the "main" dude at least.

>>49915432
From what they look like, I bet they taste a bit like calamari.

>>49915426
Just because the demand for food will be lower, doesn't mean the production will be the same.

>>49915462
You're right, production will be a lot easier after Emmy-chan's been through.
Eat your meat cactus 'mrakul.

>>49902975
I ignite my spark and planeswalk away.

>>49915453
Nukes are on a bit different scale than fireball spam though. I don't think people who think nukes are just "big explosions" really understand the physics involved. It's not magic, but it might as well be.

>>49915462
The Demand and Production of food would both be 0, yes.

>>49915453
I mean, that's exactly how D&D functions, so why not.

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>>49915458

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>>49903201
>Rothschild Lich

jesus fuck my sides

>>49915473
Oldwalkers did a shitload more then fireballs, you fucking retard. How many times does this have to be spelled out?

THEY STILL. GOT THEIR SHIT. PUSHED IN.

I'd post a video of something that reminds me of Emrakul, and ask if it it was weird it reminded me of her. But I'm tired of trying to get around the stupid spam thing. I might have been willing to try more if it didn't ask for captcha every time instead of telling me it doesn't like it before I bother filling out the captcha.

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>>49914648

>>49915500
Perhaps you could use some examples, because most of what Urza did, for example, was make machines that are far less destructive than our own, then fight machines far less destructive, albeit more proliferative, than our own are capable.

>>49903892
Emrakul was once described by an ancient demon sealed inside a maical artifact as "The world creator and the world destroyer."

>>49909130
Somehow, summoning my Emrakul to kill Emrakul seems like a bad idea....

>>49915631
You talking about the chain veil? I didn't know there was a demon in that thing.

>>49915221
>Ulamog doesn't die to this

We're boned...

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>>49915672
A particularly nasty fall, though, that'll do it.

>>49915542
found it on youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b8KLIxXDAA

>>49902975

Modern-day Earth's military is entirely artifact and creature based, and I imagine a Nuke has got enough firepower to take down anything that isn't specifically indestructible (even Emrakul, who's only protected from colored spells, is completely defenseless to a nuclear strike--or even more conventional missiles).

The only Eldrazi that was Indestructible was Ulamog, and he's dead now.

If it came down to it, Humanity wins. Maybe we nuke ourselves into Mad Max tier society, but we wouldn't lose.

>>49915775
SOI Em is pro instants, not colored spells.

Fluff wise:
More importantly killing the titan doesn't kill the eldrazi. You need to draw it into the plane and then kill it. If the plane is weak enough or the titan is big enough, the titan's sheer presence will destroy the plane if you attempt this.

This whole thread reminds me of a US survey whose TL; DR version is:

Confidence in math skills: Very High
Actual math skills: Poor

Why is it so hard to be humble and say "yea, our understanding of physics is just enough to realise that we know fuck-all, so the chances of our weapons not working on an otherworldly being are pretty high"? Realising limits is a motivation to push those limits, not to imagine them to the point of success.

>>49915775
Destroying the titan doesn't stop the Eldrazi.

Assuming that Earth exists in MTG universe and has mana Eldrazi and anyone else would have troubles with acting here. Because access to it is highly restricted and convoluted. There is no magical beasts, no spellcasters. There is only artifacts for which their creators need to go through painstakingly long series of transformations before they start to work.

Eldrazi or any mage coming here will need to work by the rules of Earth which are a bitch to deal with. Most of their arsenal will transform into broken chunks of worthless matter and energy. With good percentage of that just blowing up or imploding and then blowing up due to restrictions on energy density. The same probably happens to wizards who try to enter while having a lot of mana in some kind of storage.

Though if they really set up to win they probably can but it will take a lot of time and research. A couple hundred years probably.

The key feature of our plane is that everytjing is grounded in fact and reality.

Much like the colossal squid as soon as they enter our plane they are killed by their own proportions and size.

Square cube wins again.

>>49902975
We cry our forsaken little hearts out and die.

>>49915919
Well Eldrazi will just lose a little part of itself so in theory if they are ready to change their approach they can win. By becoming a scientist Eldrazi. They'll need to start small. First sending small probes to see how planar border interacts with them. Than they'll need to devise an unique way of communicating with probes through this border. Than they'll send their first sensor probe with communicator, which won't be able to see shit. So they'll need to create new sensors and do a series of new experiments to see which of them work.

After they establish an information gathering network they can go to studying our physical laws and trying to think up ways to use them for conquest.

Well that's all works only if our plane doesn't have inbuilt "FUCK YOU!" options. Like for example extraplanar portals opening only inside a black hole.

>>49915809
>>49915883

Well, we can't travel interdimensionally. How many times do you have to kill the physical manifestation of an Eldrazi titan before it dies and/or decides that the plane is too much god damn effort?

Ugin compares their physical manifestations to "a man putting his hand into a pool of water to catch a fish", so unless it's indicated elsewhere I imagine that there has to be a breaking point somewhere. Killing an Eldrazi on a given plane still *hurts* it, and if we assume that conventional ballistic weaponry can hurt them (a safe assumption, I'd say), I imagine we might just keep launching missiles at them until they go home or die.

If you can't kill them permanently without some Planeswalker-shenanigannery, we might end up in a Pacific Rim situation. That is to say, giant monsters entering our dimension and blowing shit up might just become a fact of life, but I don't see anything in that formula that strikes Humanity a killing blow.

Honestly, I think the way for the MtG-verse to win against modern day relies on subtly. The Eldrazi are big and scary and I'm sure they'd cause a tremendous amount of damage, but ultimately "infiltrate" isn't their strong suit. They'll body-horror the shit out of you, but typically that just turns you into a host for a bigger, scarier version of you with more tentacles. I imagine that their first contact with Earth would be a loud one, which gives both sides time to prepare for round two.

What does that look like? I'm not sure. Are the Eldrazi capable of consciously reengineering their broods, Tyranid-style, or do they just kind of mutate all over the place based on their progenitor? If they can bioengineer, they could go full body-snatcher on us, and I think that might lead to an Eldrazi win. If they go for big, smashy assaults like they historically have, I don't think there's any way to win versus modern Earth's tremendous firepower.

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>>49915919
>Eldrazi or any mage coming here will need to work by the rules of Earth
HELLO MY NAME IS KOZILEK I AM THE BUTCHER OF TRUTH AND YOUR RULES (WHATEVER OR WHEREVER THEY ARE) DO NOT APPLY
WE NEW RULES NOW

>>49916078
How much enrgy will he need to expend to keep it up and will our definitely not normal mana density/spread allow him to recover the losses ?

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>>49902975
Nukes fall, everyone dies.

>>49916012
You're right. Infact accidentally driving the titans away was a very real concern for the Gate Watch in part because they thought Zendikar was the best place to defeat them permanently on account of the existing, admittedly mangled, herdron infrastructure.

>>49913369
>Earth doesn't have colours; it doesn't have magic, period.
And that's is why we win, because they're blind in here and don't have anything to eat so Earth is literally nothing for them, they just go into another realm because they see nothing of value here

Just the fact that they're fucking blind in here and see absolutely nothing is a mayor point of them moving away

>>49916093
The Great Distortion works automatically so long as Kozilek is there.
It'll hit people at random, completely by accident, since Kozilek doesn't even notice mortals.

>>49916358
Why exactly do you think they're not "blind" on other planes? Being blind doesn't matter to how they move.
Ulamog doesn't have eyes. They're attracted to concentrations of life. Mana only matters to Emrakul, as she invalidates colored mana.

>>49916483
I thought he was the he that noticed mortals? Cause doesn't he have mind control as one of his powers?

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>>49915690

>>49916541
The mind control is automatic. None of the Eldrazi notice mortals, even those in their thrall.

>>49915658
I was under the impression that one of the voices Lilliana hears in her head is from whatever is sealed in the chain veil. It may not technically be a demon, but there is something old and knowledgeable in there.

>>49916483
>The Great Distortion works automatically so long as Kozilek is there.
>It'll hit people at random, completely by accident, since Kozilek doesn't even notice mortals.
People are irrelevant. He still needs mana to keep it up. So how much it will cost him and can he harvest it fast enough to support himself or will he implode ?

In normal MTG worlds mana density or whatever is high enough that he can easily use it. On Earth it is not a given and all automatic abilities transform into a drain on resources.

>>49916595
>He still needs mana to keep it up
He doesn't.
It's a passive aura, mate. Just like Ulamog's disintegration aura. It costs nothing to run.

>>49916483
>>49916610
Not him, and sure, many people will die, but how long will stay in what is essentially a void of nothingness for them? an hour? a couple of minutes?

They come, they see nothing, random people die horrible, they leave because nothing of interest. Vast majority of humanity survives. I count that as a win.

>>49916610
If it costs nothing then our Universe immediately implodes on him creating ultimate black hole and after that a new Big Bang. he can wait for a couple billion of years to harvest something.

If a couple of dudes who ran away scared of big wolves and average medieval soldiers with spears could beat them any firearm we have here will obliterate them.

>>49916646
I don't think we can accurately judge how long it would take for the Eldrazi to decide to leave. They could wander for a thousand years or leave immediately. They are alien beings with alien utility functions to satisfy.
>>49916660
That's how it might work (if it weren't so horrendously stupid), if his distortion field didn't also affect gravity.
>>49916700
Eldrazi flee from nothing.

>>49916716
>They are alien beings with alien utility functions to satisfy
Exactly, and there's nothing here to be seen or perceived, they have body functions, they need to eat

>>49916716
>That's how it might work (if it weren't so horrendously stupid), if his distortion field didn't also affect gravity.
It actually doesn't matter. It would mean that he is the only thing unaffected.

>>49916727
>they have body functions, they need to eat
That's your assumption. Eldrazi do what they do for reasons unknown. It may have nothing to do with sustenance.
>>49916732
You don't have the slightest grasp of physics.

>>49903952
>modifies organic life
>better than a fucking reality warper

Yeah, no. Reality warping and the manipulation of natural forces is fucking broken in any superhero setting, and the BBEG now has it.

Good fucking luck.

>>49916732
Though there is also possibility that not all of the Universe will implode and Kozilek will just become a centre of a normal black hole. He of course will still be very much alive just trapped within its core with black hole bending space-time so that there will be no way out. Even assuming he will be able to move black hole will just move with him denying him any worlds by destroying them.

>>49916753
>You don't have the slightest grasp of physics.
Oh I have. I just don't care for how they interact with bullshitty powers that don't need energy.

>>49916757
Anonymous, how is warping your ability to perceive reality any different to warping reality in actual?
The difference is that Ulamog destroys reality around him and Kozilek alters reality around him, but Emrakul alters perceptions plane-wide.

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>>49916783
You seem to think that because the Eldrazi function without losing energy as being equivalent to possessing some sort of infinite-mass reactor core. It's stupid. They're magical beings from the void outside of reality. They do not operate by laws of physics as you understand them, and bringing them into realspace does not make them obey any local laws of physics.

>>49916800
Than any conversation is pointless. It's not how you make crossovers.

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>>49916789
Kozilek's abilities aren't limited to warping the perception of reality. Kozilek does it for realsies. Slip Through Space, Gravity Negator, and Matter Reshaper are other good examples.

>>49916753
Eldrazi don't stay in the void, they move to another planes with mana, for them our universe is the void, as they did countless times before, they'll move out as soon as they don't have resources to waste

Unless they're metagaming like the players who after rolling nat1 in perception still keep rolling for traps

>>49916836
>It's not how you make crossovers.
It is when their reality-altering features come part and parcel with the characters crossing over, ya git.

>>49916916
Why they do that is unknown. Assuming it's a necessary function related to sustenance is a mere assumption.

>>49917032
>It is when their reality-altering features come part and parcel with the characters crossing over, ya git.
Your own card that describes how Eldrazi shift gravity has mana cost.

>>49917052
And that's cast by a planeswalker, not an Eldrazi.
Does it cost mana to use Kozilek, the Great Distortion's activated ability?
Do you have to pay mana to attack with Eldrazi? How about Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger's trigger-on-attack ability?
Do you have to pay mana to trigger Annihilator?

>>49917195
>Does it cost mana to use Kozilek, the Great Distortion's activated ability?
Yes. Around 10 colourless mana.

Many creatures in MTG has abilities that would just not work on Earth. Some creatures will die immediately after arriving here. And so on. In normal worlds their life and abilities depend on their bodies or souls or whatever they have passively siphoning mana out of the world and using it for fire breath, regeneration, flight, etc. It's basically an enchantment tied to a creature. Normally they are a little harder to dispel.

I don't see why Eldrazi Titan Forms get a free pass here.

>>49916700
Underrated post

>>49910950
Life is Gruul.

Humanity has never been as white-blue-black as it is today.

>>49903432
Vorinclex is turned into industrial grade compost.
Urabrask briefly revives punk, then they both die again.
Gitaxias wins four Nobel prizes.
Norn federalizes the EU, then becomes the new Pope.

>>49914199
They got killed by a big fireball a nuke will do the job even better.

>>49914222
The main gun on an Abrams can pen a wall of plain steel over 2 meters thick. If it's special armor grade steel that was only invented once we faced similar threats, it'll still do over a meter, from 11 kilometres away.

>>49917687
>Yes. Around 10 colourless mana.
Nigga you think I'm talking about casting Kozilek? No. That's getting him to the plane, which is already included by OP. I'm talking about his discard->counter ability that represents his distortion effect.
>Many creatures in MTG has abilities that would just not work on Earth
Dude, they're powered by magic. That magic comes with them when they are summoned. They may not be able to replenish their mana, or tap into greater abilities (i.e. activated abilities requiring mana), but they would not suddenly die on the spot.

>>49915167
>broadside cannon fire
>from aircraft carriers

I am literally laughing so hard at this idiocy I cannot breathe.

Imagine, if you will, an ant hill. Person walks by, then, interest piqued, kneels and pokes finger at the top. For ants, it's something terrible, colossal white worm with indestructible plate harder and thicker than anything they ever knew protecting the head.

You are the ant, the Eldrazi is the finger.

Hundreds of ants rush the attacker, being crushed by the dozens. They bite, sting, try to tear at nail with their mandibles, finally managing to make a few small dents in it. The person calmly withdraws the finger, looking at it closely, crushing a few stray ants that wandered on it, then shrugs.

These are your nukes, by the way.

Bored, the person kicks the mound, then unzips and for good measure pees on it, then moves on, motivated by something ants literally can't comprehend. The few ant survivors celebrate their 'great victory' over white worm and try to repair their destroyed world.

Congratulations, you now have tiniest glimpse at the scale of things we're talking about here. Nukes? You know a human sitting in APC, never mind a tank, can survive nuke blast? That multiple people in the open survived atomic bombings in Japan? Please. It's as laughable "solution" as suggesting using harsh language...

>>49918131
Not him, and yeah, they won't die, they probably won't die even if we nuke them (though the powerlevels in mtg vary a fucking lot depending on what the writer wants to happen), but they have no incentive on staying here like at all.

One thing is sure, the moment they don't have more mana to eat they leave to more resourceful planes, this plane has nothing for them, so I don't see a reason for them to stay. Many lives would be lost due their intrinsic abilities, but the vast majority of humanity will survive

>>49918155
I'm actually laughing, at you. Imagine this, you're planeswalker, you have beat, together with 4 of your friends these so called gods in an epic battle of epic proportions with fireballs and shit. Then 4 normies, poweless and nonames with spears threaten you, and you flee like a coward with no possibility of beating them, this happened in Kaladesh. Powerleves vary, a nuke today might do you nothing, but tomorrow a fucking punch from a 4 yo kid might kill you.

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>>49902975
What heresy is this!?

>>49918183
Let me put this straight.
You and I both have no idea what the Eldrazi incentives even are.
We think they eat mana, we think they have a purpose for old and dying planes (since the thriving plane of Innistrad was deemed "not yet time"), but we don't actually know what the fuck motivates them to do anything, anywhere.
As put in story..
>"Do not assume," said Ugin, "that you know anything of the minds of the Eldrazi. Ulamog goes where he does and does what he must."

>>49918155
You know there're ants, SINGLE ants, that can kill your, right?

>>49918217
We know that in every iteraction they have appeared they left the moment they don't have more resources to "eat", they don't stay.

We also know that even in planes with thrieving resources (Zendikar) they have left for other planes more "attractive" (Emrakul and Innistrad)

Sure, we can't assume anything, they might even be in reality big ass mechas with hot lolis inside that play Yugioh to fuel these huge abominations, but we have what we saw and read, and we should use that in these kind of threads

But I'll use your argument for other threads though, like Goku VS Superman, we can't assume Goku isn't made of Kryptonite just because it was never stated, right?

>>49918249
Isn't that called argument from ignorance? I don't know everything there is therefore God?, yeah, fuck that guy

>>49918249
>We know that in every iteraction they have appeared they left the moment they don't have more resources to "eat", they don't stay.
Ulamog, at least, moves towards congregations of life. That's all we know. That would spell death for human society as he waddles his way from city to city.
You're assuming they don't get anything from earth when you don't know what they get from other planes to begin with.
>We also know that even in planes with thrieving resources (Zendikar) they have left for other planes more "attractive" (Emrakul and Innistrad)
We don't really know how Nahiri drew Emrakul from wherever Emrakul was (after leaving Zendikar, her location was unknown for a time) to Innistrad. It took a plane-wide web of lithomancy and as much power as Avacyn was crafted from, so it wasn't Emrakul's natural movements however you look at it.

>Sure, we can't assume anything, they might even be in reality big ass mechas with hot lolis inside that play Yugioh to fuel these huge abominations, but we have what we saw and read, and we should use that in these kind of threads
>But I'll use your argument for other threads though, like Goku VS Superman, we can't assume Goku isn't made of Kryptonite just because it was never stated, right?
Childish. You can't assume for what is expressly described as inexplicable and alien. You may as well say Cthulhu is just misunderstood and the deep ones would ally with humanity if he got some tasty pancakes. Assume only within reason.

>>49909130
>multiverse saved by weebs
Truly the darkest timeline

>>49916757

The problem is that Kozileks reality-warping power is only inside a bubble around itself. Outside of that bubble, shit doesn't happen.

Its also not comic-book reality warping where its just unlimited wishes rolling off an assembly line. It's "10 guys got caught in the reality warping bubble, too late to escape it. One de-aged into a baby and vanished, the second tried to run away but his left and right halves ran in different directions. The right half made it out of the bubble but then fell over dead. I saw a third man shatter like glass and then turn into light. I couldn't understand what happened to the rest."

Emrakul is more dangerous because her effect has a much wider range. She is a memetic weapon with a physical body, and anyone infected with the meme can be transformed into a horrifying eldrazi monster or mashed together with a bunch of other people to create an even bigger monster. It is hinted at that Emrakul is the only TRUE Eldrazi, and that Kozilek and Ulamog are just really big, really powerful eldrazi spawn that survived the destruction of the planes they were from and were strong enough to follow Emrakul around and be part of the team.

>>49918001

Sorry, but it won't. The shit that blew up Ulamog and Kozilek on Zendikar was some primetime once in a lifetime 5 separate miracles had to happen just right and it only just barely worked shit.

Without a couple of very powerful mages with very specific abilities armed with a planar network of hedrons specifically built for the task, we CAN'T pull the Eldrazi 100% into our plane of existence. That means that the most we can ever do to them is to hurt the tiny fraction of them that extends into our reality, which will never be lethal to them.

The Gatewatch needed:
> A network of Hedrons
> Ugin's archive on how to make the eldrazi trap work
> A planeswalker tied into the mana of an entire plane that can move the linelines of that world at will to make an even bigger version of the hedron trap that digests the Eldrazi into pure colorless mana
> Another planeswalker that can handle that power and be used as a gun
> A third planeswalker armed with the weapon of a goddess of another world who uses that to link the oceans of multiple planes together so that they can spread out the load of containing the Eldrazi long enough to destroy them
> A telepath to link the minds of all of the above planeswalkers so that they could operate this plan in instant-speed unison because there was no margin for error.

And even with all that, they only managed to deal with 2 Eldrazi and they very nearly popped the plane of Zendikar like a balloon in the process. Even if you say that a nuke = the destructive power of an entire plane channeled into one spell, you have none of the other steps required.

>>49918131
>Dude, they're powered by magic. That magic comes with them when they are summoned. They may not be able to replenish their mana, or tap into greater abilities (i.e. activated abilities requiring mana), but they would not suddenly die on the spot.
And it's not how it works here on Earth. The square cube law alone would kill dragons and similar creatures on the spot or put a drain in their mana reserves to counteract it that will kill them in short order. Many other creatures have abilities or body that will also make them vulnerable.

ITT: People bitch that their thousand dollar cards and their poorly written lore are can't hold against actual physics and science and try to make the argument "You loose because they are scarier than you REEEEEEE"

Also your magic space gods got beaten by squirrels and five non-godlike wizards.

>>49918293
>Ulamog, at least, moves towards congregations of life
All eldrazi """see""" through leylines and mana, that also we know, he can't move towards congregations of life he can't detect.

>her location was unknown for a time
Time moves different outside planes, we know it for a fact, for you can be "for a time", for her could be instantly. I also said she was attracted, seems Nahiri converged the leylines to a single point to create a fucking huge bait

>Childish
That's what you were using anon, childish arguments of "well, we don't know so they behave as I like now, deal with it"

This is stupid, we're using facts stated in the articles and books and you're going tangent with "we don't know therefore God"

We don't know which weapons our governments really have therefore we win ;^)

>>49918593
>All eldrazi """see""" through leylines and mana, that also we know
When was this detailed? I don't recall that in BFZ/OotG. I admit I haven't read the old Zendikar books. Was it actually detailed how they perceive the world around them?
>Time moves different outside planes, we know it for a fact, for you can be "for a time", for her could be instantly
Time moves consistently for Planeswalkers, however. Emrakul left Zendikar before Jace, and Jace got to Innistrad before Emrakul. There was undoubtedly a period where Emrakul was at neither Zendikar or Innistrad.
>That's what you were using anon, childish arguments of "well, we don't know so they behave as I like now, deal with it"
Taking an agnostic position is not taking the contradictory position, anon. You're presuming my position.
>This is stupid, we're using facts stated in the articles and books and you're going tangent with "we don't know therefore God"
No, I said from the start "I don't know, you don't know, kindly don't assume". Would they leave earth? I don't know. You're the one stating they absolutely factually would.

>>49918703
>When was this detailed?
Shadows over Innistrad articles, Nahiri vs Sorin, Nahiri threw a bunch of Eldrazi against Sorin and protected herself moving leylines and creating areas where there was no mana/leylines and therefore, as she said, Eldrazi were "blind" and couldn't sense her or anything in those areas.

>they absolutely factually would.
Because as facts presented so far, they would.

>>49903203
So we have to Pacific Rim them?

>>49918703
>These monsters were blind to her within her ring of ley stones. Cryptoliths, she'd heard them described by the cultists, though they were far from cryptic. Eldrazi followed leylines, the network of mana that all worlds have. Just as she had done on Zendikar six thousand years ago, Nahiri shaped these stones to bend Innistrad's leylines to her will. To these horrors, she occupied a blank spot in reality. She didn't exist.

>>49916646
>>49916610
you could also argue that, due to the fact that our world is low or even devoid on mana, a short presence of the eldrazi is neccesary to take what little is left and recycle our plane almost immediatly.

>>49914669
They didn't. At all. Rise was 'everything's fucked just from the Eldrazi showing up'
Battle for Zendikar was 'Well, okay, two of them fucked off to parts unknown, but the one that stayed has completely fucked up this world. We need to reseal it so it doesn't finish the job. Okay, we've got the sealing array online...aaaaand some asshole ruins it and manages to bring one of the other two back here. Fuck'
Oath is 'Holy fuck, everything is dying because TWO of these shits are now actively fucking up the world, let's pull the real things into the world and use some desperation plan to kill them or at least go down fighting OH GOD THEY ARE BIGGER THAN WE THOUGHT THEY TAKE UP THE ENTIRE SKY SEVERAL TIMES OVER USE THAT' followed by an infinite mana combo fueled fireball.
And then Emrakul was never defeated, because what happened in Eldritch Moon was what it wanted to happen.

>>49902975
What if instead of bothering with Earth they just decide to eat the Sun? Probably tons of red and white mana in there.

>>49919017
For something hyped ad nauseam for like 6 years, they died like chumps

>>49919302
On the one hand, yeah, but on the other Channel into Fireball has always been a pretty strong trick. Plenty of Oldwalkers died that way, back in the ABU days.

>>49902975
idk about everyone else but ill be fine.
emrakul is my wife.

>>49908477
emrakul attacks a city,
a lone neckbeard casts reflecting palm, wipes out neighbor city.

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>>49918047
>The main gun on an Abrams can pen a wall of plain steel over 2 meters thick

But it lacks the elevation to hit a wall if it's flying.

czechm8, hfy.

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>>49902975

This is exactly what happens.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsYMa44m69g

It may already have.

"Vs" threads are shit because they're always about pitting two conflicting sets of rules against each other instead of being about making an interesting story.
Who win between a jedi and a psyker is less important than the cool fight than can have.

So think less about "muh HFY" or "muh magic beat your tech" and more about humans fighting an hard fought battle in a bismuthed city against reality changing aliens or something.
> Soldiers shoot waves of drones from inside a building when an Ulamog crusher turn their cover into dust, forcing them to retreat as the ground under their feet turn into sand
> A tank got an Endbringer in its scope when it Slip Through Space away
> Battleships track a Drowner of Hope for weeks until they finally torpedo it as it's closing in a coastal town.

>>49903359
The teeth of Akum or however it is spelled is about when the eldrazi first get released but not much else about them. It focuses more on the journey of Nissa and Sorin

>>49919302
Being fair to the writers, it seems they're not even actually evolved for combat. They serve some other great purpose in the multiverse (leading fanon is planar recycling machines), and destroying them will have far-reaching consequences.

>>49921167

Yeah. Ugin knew they could be destroyed thousands of years ago. But he told Sorin and Nahiri that they couldn't be (because he didn't want to take that risk) and outlined the containment plan instead. They believed him because he was the expert.

Eldrazi appear in modest numbers, armed soldiers prove easy to kill but suprisingly capable of killing their drones and lesser eldrazi.

As the invasion increases, humanity finds itself losing. entire cities falling over night. We turn to carpet bombing and mass destruction to turn back the tide. Still losing.

One of the three rises up out of the ocean, greater eldrazi swarm forth. Humanity decides we have lost, and must retaliate. The walkers appear just in time to witness numerous nukes strip the life from the surface of the world.

Such destruction has not been seen since the first war with Phyrexia. Neowalkers leave, the eldrazi are dead, no thanks to the neowalkers.

They now fear that earth's wizards may have escaped into the blind eternities when they used those spells to end the eldrazi threat for good. Completely oblivious to the science that did it.

>>49924252

I'm not sure why you think that our only options are 'no nukes at all' and 'fuck it, nothing on the surface of this planet survives'.

Honestly, Kozilek is the tricky one. We could beat back the brood and minor eldrazi with conventional weapons. Despite their reality warping and other shit, a few tank battalions with big ol'mines would be able to stop a couple reality smashers no problem.

The real trick is the titans. Emmy wouldn't be able to stop a few nukes. Ulamog just needs a few rods of god to hold it down until we can chop it into little pieces and throw it into space.

Kozilek...I can't think of a realistic way to kill him. He could distort a nuclear fireball or rod away...

>>49924397
Because that's how conventional doctrine and common sense usually goes, too. If you're going to use nukes, you want to go all in; committing your WMDs piecemeal gives them a chance to use their own, or adapt, or whatever shit everyone expected Ivan to do back then. Aside from a few devices with a tiny yield designed for tactical usage - against particular strategic points or staging areas like Scuds and the Davy Crockett - you don't WANT anything on the surface of the planet to survive.

Shit, my /k/ommando is showing isn't it

>>49924546
But anon can't you see it, the glorious hellfire from nuclear mines illuminating tanks along the fulda gap as oblivion sowers get lit da fuck up

>>49918155
>a human sitting in APC, never mind a tank
If you're lucky, or in some crazy good cover, or filled the entire fighting compartment with cushions so that the impacts didn't turn you into finely ground meat.

>That multiple people in the open survived atomic bombings in Japan
Those bombings put out around 20Kt TNT equivalent. Trident SLBMs (which, being a britbong, are the best frame of reference I can put this into), have a yield of over five times that per warhead.

With up to 12 warheads per missile. With up to 16 missiles per sub.

Then bear in mind that the British nuke doctrine is "Minimum Credible Deterrent", and that there's been a trend in smaller yields because of better targeting systems. Then think about the sheer quantity that the US (as well as Russia, and likely China) possibly have.

Honestly, TTG fluff is one thing, but everyone seems just as keen to misjudge IRL power levels. Even if the first nukes are just ant bites, what he have on hand today is a sizable kick in the balls. At least.

/autism

>>49924605
Yeah, but only with a backdrop of everything east of Leipzig getting thoroughly blown to shit

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>>49924472
>Emmy
>The one that wasn't stopped by anything
>Unable to handle a few nukes

>>49903067
>Catelyn Jenner is revealed to be a planeswalker
Eldrazi get ran over with a car?

>>49918221
Those are the planeswalkers and in the grand majority of anthills you will never find them.

>>49924762
Fuck off back to /pol/

>>49924762
>If you're lucky, or in some crazy good cover

That's the thing, if you airburst nuke say 1-2 km above the ground, only the tanks below it are in any danger, due to radiation. Tanks around are mostly hit with shock-wave from above, making them really difficult to flip. Tanks far enough away to be hit by shock-wave from the side are far enough for hit energy to be weakened enough they can't be flipped.

There is reason tanks are commonly equipped with ABC systems and that the best idea of fighting soviet tanks was contact detonation of neutron bomb, tanks are just durable enough to laugh off nuke and be able to fight again after minor repairs.

Since Eldrazi most likely don't have internal organs and/or dna, for all we know, they are immune to radiation and bigger organisms are able to shrug off hits like tank. As for really big ones, look up the US Navy attempts to sink target battleship with nukes - Operation Crossroads. USS Nevada, pre-WW I junk, handily survived two near hits with nukes, in good enough shape that attempts to sink her with battleship guns failed and she had to be repeatedly torpedoed. Big things can be surprisingly durable, nukes are not magic.

>Trident

Modern nukes are about 5-10 times stronger than Hiroshima. Times of 1+ megaton nukes are over, after rockets became more accurate the warheads were strongly pared down, and the non-proliferation treaties cut number of nukes in service easy 20-40 times. In 70s, we maybe could nuke Eldrazi, today, with nukes in small numbers, weak warheads, and very low readiness state, we can't do shit.

Oh, and by the way, Trident won't even start without USA giving UK codes to rockets so pray Eldrazi don't cut the communication lines or the whole British arsenal can be used as paperweights.

>>49925193
Thats more /k/ knowledge than /pol/, so you fuck off sir.

>>49925106
True, but emmy is also susceptible to physical attacks. She's a giant floating mushroom that focuses on biological corruption. Plus we know she's made out of a lattice of gooey bits. That sounds easily solvable compared to a reality bending titan.

>>49925256
>/k/ isn't just /pol/ with less n-word

>>49925209
At the same time, though, the soviet tanks being relatively nuke-proof was primarily because of being so heavily armoured and with nothing inside more advanced than a transistor radio. The ABC/NBC systems are mostly for contaminants, and again "laughing them off" is hiiiiighly dependant on what kind you're actually sitting in.

As for nukes being relatively weaksauce - airbursts are mostly used to smash soft(er) targets - equipment, dismounted or motorised infantry, etc. Battleships are designed to be nigh-invulnerable to physical impact, meaning that they'd (relatively speaking) be able to shrug off the shockwave from an airburst. I'm not doubting for a second that Eldrazi - from what precious little I know of them, since I primarily stuck my head in this thread for some nuclear autism - would be comfy with the pressure and shockwave of an airburst. But a direct hit, or one close enough for it to be within the fireball radius? A fireball at millions of degrees (any kind)? Especially with the accuracy of targeting today, it's about as close to magic as you're likely to get.

>after rockets became more accurate the warheads were strongly pared down

I accepted that point - and also how SALT and friends somewhat hamstrung everyone's nuclear arsenal. But warhead sizes were also reduced because of MIRVs - again, individual warheads are 5-10 hiroshimas, but you can comfortably fit a dozen of them or so (if you're willing to face the wrath of the UN and/or whoever tf) in a single launch vehicle. Times of 1+ megaton nukes ARE over, instead replaced by scores of 100Kt ones that'll all be focused on the same target. If anything, we'll be better off than we would be otherwise.

Not that I wouldn't love to see how things'd hold up against Bravo or the Tsar. But still.

Hey, you don't own ALL of our warheads. Just the overwhelming majority of them.

>>49925320
>>/k/ isn't just /pol/ with less n-word
>less n-word
>n-word
Wherever you came from, you must go back as this is obviously not the site for you.

>>49925320
I'm not sure where you get off educating me on boards when you don't know shit about them. see this anon>>49925908

We seduce them and produce the half-Eldrazi race. They inherit the Edrazi's reality bending powers and our technological innovations and progress.

>>49902975

[1]
>>49902983
"we all die"
I do agree with you.

>>49903023
The Illuminati finally find that their BS teaching come true and then a give birth to a massive internal conspiracy boner.

There's two scenarios:

1: Our plane has no magic, Eldrazi feed on magic. They don't bother stopping and just pass on to another plane to feed. Lots of weird shit happens and a lot of people die as they pass through.

2: They don't need mana to function (at least not immediately), humanity is wiped out.

(Bonus scenario: The gatewatch follow them to Earth and save the day)

>>49914130
>goblin sharpshooter finds no joy in his work

We would be able to put up a much better fight than Zendikar but in the end we would lose since we lack the means to permanently kill them off or disable them.

The only win scenario I can imagine would be a if our efforts would make the Eldrazi consider eating the Earth to be too much of a hassle. But that would be a pyrrhic victory at best since the combined destruction of the Eldrazi rampage and our weapons arsenal being used to stop them would leave most of the planet uninhabitable.

>>49928994
There's also 3: our plane has so little mana that the Eldrazi are able to devour it extremely quickly, our universe collapses before we are even able to muster a counter attack.

>>49902975
>Zendikar is bigger than Dominaria
>Dominaria is 10 times bigger than Earth.

Eldrazi comes to Earth, it's barren of life and nature within a week or so.

>>49925164
>Puts human vs ant example
>"Some ants, as in only one, can kill humans with one bite"
>"b-but muh planeswalker"
Just saying, anon, if you don't like your examples to be utterly destroyed, use better ones

So far the most logical, according to what we know from books, articles and stuff, seem to be they go arround destroying and warping shit with no clear objective, almost randomly and ignoring stuff (they're blind here after all), lots of people die, they end leaving because they don't find anything interesting here (again, they're blind in here), we as a whole survive but with a great cost.

>>49903201
Can this be a setting?

>>49902983
Sounds like a favorable outcome to me.

>>49914199
Do you doubt the holy work of Teller and Ulam, heretic?

>>49933078
Ikr: we will die knowing we died a more impressive death than our ancestors

>>49903201
>implying Lizzy needs help

>>49932403
>examples to be utterly destroyed
Explain to me how you "utterly destroyed" my argument by greentexting it back to me? The grand majority of ant hills it would require you to just sit in them and let the things bite you for much longer than a reasonable period of time for them to do any significant damage. Every so often, however, you run into some ants that are an actual threat but they are few and in places that you may or may not care to go in the first place but they are certainly not a normal occurance.

Fifteen squirrels kill emrakul

>>49935323
>anthill
Anon, SINGLE ANT, as in one ant, one diminute small antt that with one bite would kill you, 5 milimiters of insect vs 160 pounds of human

>>49903892
I'mrakul notrakul surerakul.

>>49903132
Ula-chan can suck the magic from MY plane any day.

>>49903132
Why does he wear the mask?

>>49902975
They get nuked multiple times then decide that Earth is more trouble than it's work and wander off.

Note that none of the megaton explosions kill then per se but you'd want to leave too if people threw flashbangs at you every day.

>>49935787

Yeah, but it was probably a hasselhoffian figure among ants, legendary even before it offed you.

>>49925320
Don't even start with that shit. We hate /pol/

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>>49915672
>>49915690
>Ulamog cannot be killed by God's wrath
>can be convinced to take up farming
Magic flavor is silly

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>>49937804
>Emrakul can't be convinced to take up farming
>killed by a hobo in a dog collar