AROUND HOBBITS WATCH YOUR POCKETS

Holy shit, I just noticed that's supposed to be a female halfling.

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>>49899374
What about gnomes?

Dwarves > Halflings > Gnomes

I like them better than dwarves.
I've already read the tale of Axebeard McBeardaxe XIV the scottish alcoholic from a hole in the ground. I do not need to read it again.

>>49899374
WTF is with the tiny feet?
Accurate filename.

I always forget about them when I'm building worlds, but there's inevitably one player who makes one. I end up tacking them onto human society. I'm not particularly fond of what they've turned into from the small and homely farmer folk they originally were. Players always play them as short thieves or other type of vertically challenged asshole.

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>>49899374
i play a strongheart halfing cleric NG
i like him
i do roll as kind of an asshole to the group but under my rough facade lies the heart of a caring healer
also small size and bonus feat on a caster are tits

>>49899495
Are you talking about the two horribly obvious coin bags he shoved down his shirt?
Check your pockets friend.

Halflings are cool imo, just have to be done right. I prefer the OG tolkien idea of the halfling, even when I play D&D.

>>49899374
Every time I ever have someone play a halfling or gnome, it's a terrible bard or a 'super quirky type,' and they always have a gimmick. I'm immediately wary when someone plays one. I hate the whole "smug character who is witty and charming and oh so fun and silly and if you don't like him then you just hate fun, DM".

>>49899374
All of the short races are terrible. Halflings are either incredibly boring hobbit rip-offs or thieving cunts, dwarves are rude obnoxious xenophobic cunts, gnomes are obnoxious ""wacky"" unlikeable cunts whose god committed genocide as a prank yet is still considered a shining paragon of Good, and don't even get me started on kender or gully dwarves.

>>49900514
I like gnomes in a way cause they are a fun contrast to pitch against kobolds and have the players go "Aw look at the little sociopaths war against the lizard schizos." not really something to weight an entire campaign on but its a cute little thing.

I of course never really play with vanilla and always add some extra shit. But I've run out of ideas, could you tell me some good alternatives/fixes to the short races?

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>>49899374
>>49899495
>that female halfling lute twanger

Bring back Olive Ruskettle.

>>49899374
I made them mind-controllers in my game. Mostly because they're small enough to ride a dog companion, but also because I want to give everyone a reason to hate them.

If you know someone's got mind control powers, you're going to fucking kill them. Fantasy racial profiling is fun, right?

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I make them rabbitfolk. My players actually liked the idea, even though nothing mechanical had changed.

Better to be the least interesting than to be interesting for all the worst reasons

See: Kender, homebrewed "forever-children" races, etc;

All small races are pretty bad

Honest question, whats up with girls and small races. I've only played/gmed for like 6 or so girls total, but every one of them played a dwarf, halfling or gnome. Gnome especially, three of those girls played gnomes. Also Druid, three of those girls but not the same three gnome girls played druids

>>49902087
All the women I've played with always play half elf or elf then play Ranger BM for a pet about 80% of the time.

>>49900998
Hear hear!
Check out them legs. What gams!

Speaking of, that that a yarting she has there? I always wondered what they looked like.

>>49902263
>that a yarting she has there

It is, but I don't remember if she played anything in The Wyvern's Spur. She does play the yarting in Azure Bonds, though, whilst Alias sings.

>>49900460
Oh come on, I'm not saying you're wrong, but if your party has only straight men and no comic reliefs, sitting at the table will be terrible, and you know it.
That said, "quirky" halfling bards are usually terrible, that's true. Expecially since they're often played by people who think the bard's useless and are just playing it "IRONICALLY ;)))"

>>49902087
Holy shit i literally played my first game of d&d a couple days ago with this more experienced group and there was one girl in the group. They played a SJW halfling paladin "for the lols". After bashing it's face in with a rock she rolled up another character. It was a redpilled gnome cleric.

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>>49902540

>>49900998
>Olive's character doesn't make sense anymore because halflings have been able to be bards since 3e.

>>49903076
Those characters actually sound kind of awesome.

>"Have you guys every noticed that goblinoid races only make up about ten percent of the population, but they commit about ninety percent of the raping and pillaging and murdering? I'm not racist or anything, but maybe we should gas the greenies. Don't you agree? No? Oh, ha ha, I was just kidding! You know me, I'm just a silly gnome, always joking around! Hey, you guys should check out this website called 'Glittergoldfront.' It's got lots of neat facts about goblins."

>>49903182
The SJW was too much of a tumblr meme machine and everyone (including her) wanted it gone so bad when we finally knocked it out with the rock we all did rock paper scissors to see who could bash it's face in. Our swashbucker won so he got the honor of making it a puddle on the ground.

>>49899727
>dwarves
>small races
next you'll be saying firbolgs are a large race
;_;

>>49902087
That's weird.
My group of first-timers has two guys and two girls, the guys both play small races (gnome and halfling) and the girls both play medium races (elf and tiefling).

I like halflings quite a bit actually. Anywhere from the meek and unassuming halflings who are small in form and demeanor, to the impish or brash sorts that are bigger in action than in size.

Also shortstacks are bretty gud.

>>49899374
You misspelled "gnomes"

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>>49903665
You wrote Kenders wrong, muh boy.

>>49899374
>They're the least interesting of the small races.

Agreed. In fact,I only realized they weren't in my homebrew setting when one of my players pointed it out; they're so insignificant and redundant I've totally forgotten about them (we have gnomes,though,because I made my setting after a god-game campaign and one of the players made them).

>>49903678
That's like coming into an argument about whether acne or rashes is worse and bringing up radiation poisoning.

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I played a really fun campaign with only short races.

>>49903678
It's a good thing nobody actually plays Kenders and if for some reason somebody actually does and your DM allowed it leave the game immediately.

>>49899374
I sort of like halflings. They tend to be dickish because they're supposed to be peaceful agrarian folk, but forced into a world where literally everyone has an advantage over them.

Still, goblin > halfling = gnome > dwarf

Halflings make for interesting character but also really good enemies.

>>49903930
I tend to reskin my halflings as goblins.

>>49904172
I tend to see halflings as just short people, while goblins are more like orca that have been forced into being intelligent because they can't brute force things.

>>49899374
A wizard in my setting magically uplifted some raccoons into raccoon people to use as lab assistants and servants. There are enough of them now that quite a lot of them moved into the surrounding lands, and since they gravitate to rivers and marshes they settled among the halfling villages. They get on so well people joke that there are now ringtailed halflings (there aren't, despite many interspecies marriages and affairs. The wizard was careful to make sure his creations couldn't crossbreed for fear of ending up with anonymous multispecies hybrids a few generations later).

Between the sneaky halflings and clever-fingered raccoons their lands are absolutely riddled with traps and ambushes and humanoids and monsters who go in expecting easy pickings end up meeting a sticky end (and often end up getting roasted for dinner if they aren't too human looking.)

>>49902982
You don't need a gimmicky lolrandom at the table to have fun. Having a character solely devoted to being funny will always turn up cringy. Normal characters can have funny moments. The whole character doesn't need to be an endless stream of them.

>>49904172
Halflings are just blessed goblins. Or maybe goblins are just cursed halflings...

>>49904807
I tend to pick one or the other.

>>49899374
Let me tell you how much I like halflings, OP.

Once upon a time when I was but a lad in school I, and my class, were given a creative writing assignment to make a NotLotR story. This story featured what you would expect rugged rangers, pretty elves, stout dwarves and sneaky thieving halflings.
When the time came to reveal our stories to the class the teacher was shocked to find that most of the class had abused the halfling in the story, with many outright killing him off. I killed him off too. But I brought him back as a ghoul. I had him slightly dismenbered before letting him regain his free will, suffering and rotting, being lugged around. I then killed him off again, thrown into an acidic sacrifice pit for the Lizardmen's high priest-king. Then his soul was free to assist the heroes as a ghost, haunting, but helpful. Right up until the BBeG, devoured the halfling's soul condemning it to a pit of eternal misery.

As I recall I made sure to mention that last bit in good detail in my epilogue.

My feelings on the matter still have not changed, and that, dear OP, is how much I like halflings.

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>>49903141
Same with Mazzy

What was EVER the point of making certain races incapable of playing certain classes? Fine they can be WORSE at them, since their racial bonuses are not conducive to a class, but that kind of shit was always stupid to me, and I grew up on my father's knee while he DM'd AD&D

I like Halflings when they're not adventurers. The Shire was cozy as fuck, and Frodo, Bilbo, ect. were unlikely heroes because they weren't used to adventuring.
Having them as a playable, adventuring race ruins them because they were purposefully made to be as averse to adventure as possible. The only way they can be salvaged within a ttrpg is when all or most of the party are halflings, and surviving in the world outside the Shire is the campaign. But this never happens because most DMs eventually run some epic, world-altering story.

>>49904899
Why were the portraits in both BG games so fucking awful and trashy looking?

i'm fairly sure the pictures for halfling and gnome got mixed up in the 5e books.

>>49899727
>Dwarves < Halflings < Gnomes

You had them facing the wrong way, I fixed it for you.

I could go my entire fucking life not seeing a stupid dwarf again. Halflings are just midgets. Gnomes are like a real fantasy race, not Tolkien vomit.

>>49905086
Agree about the first two points. Why the fuck are dwarves so fucking beloved anyway?

It's like, yes, I get it, you're a short angry drunken bearded Scottish stereotype and you hate elves. You hate all non-dwarves, but especially elves. You want to just kill and maim and torture all the elves in the world, but you're not a racist or a xenophobe like an elf who expresses even the mildest dislike toward a non-elf, no no you're just SO EBIN, HARDCORE AND WACKY. You and every other fucking identical dwarf. Just fuck off, you and all your other one-dimensional identical clones that plague the High Fantasy genre like fucking rats. I'm sick of dwarves.

That said gnomes are also kind of shit imo.

>>49903141

I always thought it was hilariously speciesist to ban Olive from becoming a bard just because she was a halfling. As in, she goes to apply and gets told "sorry, short-arse, this is a humans only club". I imagine she was one of the people who was happy about the change to 3E rules.

(And holy shit are the people in the Azure Bonds trilogy low-level. Alias, NG hf F6; Dragonbait, LG saurial "paladin" 7, Akabar LG hm W5. Also note how Olive doesn't have NWP: Musical Instrument.)

>>49904899
Good god I love Mazzy. That voice alone makes me feel all tingly, and seeing her shred monsters three times her size is all the better.

And the racial class and level restrictions was supposed to make the common-or-garden human viable. Who'd play a human M-U when you could play an elf M-U that wasn't susceptible to sleep or charm, could see in the dark and and got +1 to Dex, and thus AC? The one who wanted to use the biggest and flashiest spells, that's why, because an elf hits the racial level cap.

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And of course I forgot the image.

>>49905201
Found the elf!

My current setting is halflings only, because only the halfling gods got advance warning of the coming apocalypse and everyone else fucking died.

Mostly, it plays out as short humans. But then you get stuff like enormous time and resources being spent on greenhouses for growing pipeweed and hops instead of viable food, and no one questions it, because they're fuckin' hobbits and they will like a quiet smoke and a drink even when the sun has exploded.

>>49899374
Not a fan of 'em. Usually keep them out of my games.

Gnomes > Dwarves > Halflings In my opinion

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>>49899727
This anon knows his shit.

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>>49899374
Look at this freak. Look at him. Wielding a broken bolt cutter, so weak that he has to choke up on it, and he think's he's badass. Even the biker butch fighter and the hipster who dropped his iphone have more business being in this picture than this idiot. He makes the party look like a comedy troupe. Someone put the little tard's helmet and harness back on and replace the crayons he's eaten and tie him up by the trough while we discuss getting a real warrior and a rogue who won't constantly primp for selfies.

>>49906045
Alright, but picture that gibbering little ball of bullshit in combat. Imagine losing track of him for a split second, and then feeling that rusty metal cut into your hamstrings, your achilles tendon, your kidneys. Imagine going from on top of things to on the ground, with that cute little face the last thing you see.

Imagine the humiliation.

>>49906045
I'm not really up to date on my D&D, is that rogue supposed to have such a punchable face?

>>49906045
Actual caption of the picture, from the book's inside cover.

ON THE COVER Tyler Jacobson illustrates this band of adventurers as they engage in aggressive negotiations with a fierce delegation of ores. Featured (left to right): Skip Brickard, a halfling fighter with an ore-sized chip on his shoulder; lllydia Maethellyn, an aged moon elf cleric of Sehanine Moonbow; Hitch, a brash rogue whose shady past ties him to the Zhentarim; Makos, a tiefling warlock hell-bent on revenge against his infernal father; and Nayeli Goldflower, a powerful human paladin driven by an oath of vengeance.

>>49906356
>a fierce delegation of ores
e-excuse me?

I like halflings because they are hardly played or talked about so you can easily mold them to be however you want like the lore i wrote for halflings for a 13th age game i played.
Pretty much every character who is just a generic *insert race* is going to be a shit character because there is nothing to them.

>>49899374
I do and mostly that's because I run all the non-human races like other nationalities.

Humans - English
Halflings - Irish
Dwarves/Gnomes - Scotts

Mostly I just stole my ideas from the Witcher novels.

5th Edition Halflings are terrifying monstrocities. Look at those gigantic heads and tiny little legs!

>>49905086
Gnomes that aren't smaller Dwarves are just the lolrandumb race and don't even pretend they aren't.

>>49906755
Ya fuck the artist that made the art for halflings.

>>49899374
Halflings are the constant of the entire fucking universe, empires come and fall but those sorta weirdbutnotgenocideweird farmers will stay, the food they make will always be useful, when concrete splits the sky and the roads hold metal beasts those plain folk will still be growing their crops, every year.

>>49906524
probably autocorrected from either orcs or ogres

>>49906524
>>49906822
Orcs, the letter just came up wrong copied out of the pdf.

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>>49904899
In specific setting it would make sense like for example they are not allowed to because culture, like women in old days couldn't be knights, dwarfs are not allowed to be wizzards because social ostracism. In setting like D&D where anything is possible it's just stupid and retarded

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>>49899850
there isnt realy a wel if you want t otry homebrewing the gardener class with cooking feats because thats his hobby damnit, then go right ahead otherwise gona go thief/utility class because a halfling fighter is just lol

>>49902087
I might be playing armchair psychologist and going a bit Freud but i've been thinking about something related too.

I think it has to do with women, a majority it seems, are deepy attracted to people taller than them. Yes its a fetish and they are self inserting themselves. Now it can be innocent since they could simply use that attraction for having themselves "cute".

It also explains why many girl artists fucking love to draw midget porn.

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>>49899374
They're butchered in the new editions.
Second best small race after dwarves.
Gnomes can fuck off.

>>49906822
That or the Dwarves' greatest enemy to date has finally emerged

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>>49907971
as it happens i like my women short and its totaly not latent pedophillia i swear...

>>49899374
I like them because muh dick looks huge in their hands

>>49899788

I think they told one artist to make a unique profile for d&d halflings that didn't draw from hobbits, and out of sheer desperation he tried big head and tiny feet.
So we know what the artist was thinking "What the fuck do they want from me?"
What I want to know is if the guy who approved it actually looked at it.

>>49899374
Nope, that's gnomes. Halflings >>>>>>>>> gnomes, friendo.

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>>49905536
>>49905522
They gave Olive musical instrument proficiency in the Heroes' Lorebook, the revised version of Hall of Heroes. They also boosted her a couple of levels, because the HoH version is at the end of Azure Bonds, while the HL version is after all three Finder's Stone books and Masquerades.

>>49907782
Or they could be naturally inclined to be druids and clerics. Both of which can be a help with farming.

>>49903141
Pikel's entire arc doesn't make sense either, because there's nothing stopping a dwarf being a druid now.

>>49906356
>warlock not fireballing the pack of losers for the benefit of every resident on the prime material plane

>>49911021
Well, he'd have to be at least level 5 and a fiend warlock to do that. Granted, it'd be interesting to have a tiefling granted power by a fey or great old one in order to hunt down a devil, but it's also highly possible for another devil, or even demon or yugoloth to want one dead.
Also, what do you think he's doing, conjuring a ball of fire in his hands?

I've been toying with the idea that halflings are just "city gnomes"

When gnomes live in rural environments they're more connected to nature, but if they move and live in a developed urban area they lose that connection and use the halfling stat block. It would take like 5 to 10 years for the change to occur.

>>49912335
But aren't Halfling societies rural and agrarian as well?

>>49901774
Yiff in He'll fur-fag.

>>49903246
>Tumblr meme machine
Pray tell, how many sessions did that character last?

Halflings are Peter Pan and the Lost Boys with Oliver Twist and the Omen. Creepy small people, meek small slaves, they're the only playable race that emphasizes the smallness of them.

>>49899374

>Bard with 4 charisma

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>>49903678

>Short attention spans, intense curiosity, and a fearlessness that serves them well in battle

So, fairies without the ability of flight or being fuckable?

>>49899374
At least one person did. Because Gygax was pressured into adding them to D&D even though he didn't like Tolkien.

>>49903624
>shortstacks
dis nigga gets it

>tfw female player vividly descries how her bard can barely play her instrument because of her disproportionate sized funbags
>tfw female player is flat as a board and works through her breast envy by playing the teasing whore Halfling with a heart of gold

>>49901774
Not good, but better than halflings.