How would you handle fantasy Finland?

>>49897133
Hopefully better than the Fantasy Poland thread.

Kalevala all the way. Lots of singing, slogging through snow, fire magic. Tribal rivalries. Drinking, archery, unpronounceable names that sound Japanese.

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Moomins and nothing else.

>>49897133
I once used a geographic midpoint calculator to find a midpoint for all the cultures that had inspired the Warrior of Chaos, and Finland tended to be the center for the Khornates.

So now I always imagine crazy fucking Finnish Khornates laying waste to Kislev.

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>>49897133
Well you have to have a Sampo

>>49897303
>unpronounceable names
Yeah, screw phonetic writing. How are you supposed to be able to pronounce something when the spelling makes sense?

>>49897133
Just replace it with a very cold and possibly less violent Mongolia

>>49897133
VAKA VANHA

Väinämöiiiiineeeeeen

>>49897133
Gib fantasy karelia clay

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>>49897133
Not attack it in winter, that's for fucking sure

>>49897133
>How would you handle fantasy Finland?
Change the Earth's axis. The new equator now runs through the Baltic. It doesn't even have to be parallel to the real world equator either - you could rotate the map however you want, in order to put other parts of the world in other likely climate zones. Like if you turn OP's map 90 degrees counter clockwise, Finland runs east-west (and is close to the new equator) and Russia runs north-south.

Do the switch at a fairly narrow historical time period, with everyone as they were at that time.
Then roll it forward three hundred years and add magic and fantasy races to taste. I mean, to your taste. Don't eat the magic and fantasy creatures. Unless you want to. Maybe your now-tropical Vikings like how they taste, I don't know. That part is up to you and your players.

Everyone speaks Spurdish.

People are talking to each other on the street; no one has autism.

>>49897926
Came here to post this exact same thing.

>>49898108
>People are talking to each other on the street; no one has [immigrants].

FTFY

>>49898087
spurdish?

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>Not cull my officer corp months before attacking
>Not having parallel chain of commands in place
>Not promoting people based on loyalty instead of ability

There, Finland is now Neo-Novagrad. Sorry Finland, but it was a commendable and brave solution but that is the only reason you were able to last so long.

>>49899451
You forgot
>not sending troops that have never even seen snow to wage war at high latitudes during the winter

>>49897133
I dunno OP,how would YOU handle fantasy Finland?

>Shamanic villagers
>Magical animals
>Bear worship
>Arrogant swedish noblemen.

>>49901449
Bears were basically godly animals. They were basically impossible to kill. Even if you manage to kill a bear the spirit of the bear will hunt you down if it thinks it died unjustly. After killing a bear you had to appease the spirit to avoid it's anger. People avoided calling bears "bear" but and gave them nicknames like Dewpaw(mesikämmen) and otso.

>>49901507
The sauna was the most clean and holy place in a village. Women gave birth inside and it was the remedy for basically all illnesses. The sauna was holy so talking loudly or having sex were condemned.

>>49897133
Race of anthropomorphic bears who talk like they have a cold.

>>49901523
The oldest commodity of finland was tar. People came with ships to finland to buy tar.

>>49901543
They needed that tar to buiöd ships.

CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS!

i've got that 1st edition ADnD book that has stats for various mythical characters from various old pantheons. for whatever reason it has a section on finnish mythos. can post if there's any interest

>>49897133
Use Finland from Scandinavia and the World. Give him the power to transform into a bear because why not.

>>49901576
do it

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>>49897133

>>49899418
Fug ebin benis. you know, like the spurdo meme, Finland ' s greatest creation.

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>ctrl+F "Trolls"
>No results
Seriously?

>>49897133
No Sweden and Eastern border at the Urals.

>>49902440
Trolls are more of Norway and Sweden's thing desu.

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>>49902440

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>>49897133
>Kola and Karelja not Suomi

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>>49902737

>>49901507
The other godly animal was the moose. Ancient finns divided themself by worshipping the moose, reindeer or the bear. If the bear was the respected tyrant of the forest, the moose were the wise fathers and mothers of the forest.

>>49902842
Reindeer in the wild are panicky and will run if it meets a human. In captivity however they are curious and brave. Ancient finns tamed reindeer and they were used in the finnish culture as a replacement for sled dogs and donkeys.

>>49902932
Skiing was the best way to get around in a snowy forest. Ancient finns skied to hunt reindeer and moose.

>>49902481
Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Iceland...

Finland's basically the one country up there that DOESN'T do trolls.

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>>49902481
>Sweden's thing
Finland was Sweden's thing for a long time though

>>49903075
Nearest that you get is jatulis and even those were just ancient giants that built shit out of rocks and then fucked off to somewhere.

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>Ancient finns had Stands

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eti%C3%A4inen

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>>49903075
>Finland
>DOESN'T do trolls.

This nigga serious?

>>49903234
>jansson
>finnish

Mitä vittua äijä?

>>49903252
Just because she spoke swedish doesnt make her a swede.

>>49903252
>jansson
>not Finnish
She was born and lived most of her life in Helsinki, faggot.

>>49903155

Hiisi, even though Goblin is translated to it thanks to LoTR publishers, is actually a pretty typical North European troll-figure

>>49903276
And Helsinki is less Finnish than the fucking Mozambique.

More or less crab people with polearms and axes.

>>49903252
>born in Finland
>lived in Finland
>worked in Finland
>Finnish citizenship
>died in Finland
>not Finnish because she spoke Swedish, the second official language of the country

>>49903289
The good old no true Scotsman, this this case most certainly backed up by a thoroughly racist, bigoted, anti-intellectual and utterly retarded philosophy, either in earnest or because it's just sooo cool to pretend to be that kind of shit on 4chan.

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>>49897133
Does space fantasy count?

>>49903323
Too white to be a Finn.

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>>49903336
It's just face paint.

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>>49897133
By being great again.

Did somebody say "knives"? I've certainly heard "knives".

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>Thinking about sharing a pretty good comic with post-post-apocalyptic Nordic countries
>People will hate it because >>>Tumblr

Check out Stand still stay silent, it even has feminine boys for so inclined.

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>>49903289
Ai toimiiko kehä kolmosenkin sen puolen netti?

>>49903372
Wonderful~ Now conquer Estonia. Then get Polan and Lithuania to join the alliance of bullied countries and no-one will ever hurt Finlan again!

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>>49903389
Fuck yeah

>>49903427
What about Latvia?

>>49903464
Nobody cared about Latvia

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Reminds me of the joke about the Finn who was sitting by the river, minding his own business, when wood chips started to sail down from upstream. He immediately went and got his axe to teach the uppity newcomer not to get so close.

>>49903464
Latvia too! Bullied countries unite!

Mutual military and economic co-operation for the countries others have taken advantage of throughout history!

>>49903289
>implying anyone but barbarians live in the wilderness beyond Helsinki

Finland doesn't have a Jewish community at all, does it? How come they never got anywhere?

>>49903697
There is like 2k of them, most of which live in Hesa and are descended from jews that moved in during the Russian reign.

>>49903697
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Jews_in_Finland

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>>49897133
What's up with the naming of places with like a couple of thousand inhabitants?
Anyway,
Shamanism, animism, spellcasting through sung and played long incantations, solitude and isolation, tight knit village settlements rather sparsely and almost always on lake and/or rivershores. No large towns.
Ancient forests and swamps permeate everything and make travel hazardous.
Sacred groves, constant sacrificial rites for the gods of hunt and forests, but not for a god of winter as it cannot be appeased.
Fae and spirits, mythical and dangerous north, the contrast with the long darkness and unrelenting winter with the short but lush and beautiful summer.

>>49903743
Gotta fill the map somehow, otherwise people won't believe that the Funland is a civilized western country.

>>49903743
>What's up with the naming of places with like a couple of thousand inhabitants?

Why not? They've given names to gold digging towns in America that were abandoned after couple of months.

>>49903662
>implying anyone but Finns live in the wilderness beyond Helsinki

FTFY

>>49903697
You're the guy who shat up the Poland thread, aren't you?

>>49903697
Why the fuck does it matter?

>>49903815
Presumably the logic is that Jews ruin everything, so a country without a Jewish community would be a utopia.

>>49903144
Still, the only thing they managed to force on us was Christianity and even that we managed to bastardize with addition of ancient gods and spirits and shiet.

>>49903815
He is doing a thing. He implies that because Finland has barely any jews, they should have made huge advancements as a nation. You know, because jews are evil and behind everything bad.

>>49903828
Well Judenfrei Estonia was pretty noise apparently.

>>49903837
>>49903840
The great thing about being an Eastern European brand antisemite is that so long as there are Jews in your country you can blame everything bad on them, but once you kill/chase them all out and nothing gets better you can just claim that the global Zionist conspiracy ruined everything for you in "revenge".

Re. Eastern Europe in general

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>>49903852
>Esti
>Nice

>>49903743
>What's up with the naming of places with like couple of thousand inhabitants?
Is that even purely a Finnish thing to do? I always thought it's common everywhere.

>>49903840
>implying Finland hasn't made huge advancements as a nation
I mean, considering that we were a backwards Russian province less than a century ago, I think we're doing pretty good.

>>49899451
>>49899910
Also you guys forgot the shitty supply lines that supplied troops with summer clothing during winter, fucked up the food deliveries, the commissars who were the only thing holding the troops on the spot at times...

>>49903928
Yeah, but like, fucking Israel made more, and they almost have as many Jews as Brooklyn. Whole theory's fishy on that one.

What is the religious composition of Finland, anyway? Wikipedia gives suspicious results.

>>49903928
Most of the so called Finnish advance was built upon Soviet trade and Nokia and as both of those are gone forever now I would say that it is only matter of time until Finland returns to its traditional status as a 3rd world country.

>>49903965
Majority is Lutheran in the sense that they belong to the church but are lacking in the faith.

>>49903965
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evangelical_Lutheran_Church_of_Finland

Is the official church of the state, pretty much. Most people just dont give a shit these days and belong to the church out of habit.

>>49903965
>progress of Israel
>from terrorists fighting arabs in the desert to fighting arab terrorists in the desert in 70 years
>also nukes

>>49903965
Like three quarters of the population are lutheran but the amount of population who actively practice the religion is far off that amount.
It's just something you are born into but very few bother to leave the church since it just in general doesn't play a large part in everyday life.

>>49903923
It is an everywhere thing. Places with no inhabitants at all still get names.

>>49903965
Israel is funded by the US, they couldn't even exist without foreign aid.

>>49904018
Yeah, unlike Finland, which coasted on scavenged Soviet money for the past century

>>49904056
Blame Ivans for being ready to buy products so shitty that no one else wanted them.

>>49904056
Nigga what? Finland paid reparations for Soviet union for years because of the wars. But that kickstarted industrialization in Finland so it was actually a pretty good thing

>>49904056
>Yeah, unlike Finland, which coasted on scavenged Soviet money for the past century

You do realize that Finland was still paying war reparations to soviets for most of the last century, right?

>>49904096
also being one of the only nations that actually paid their reparations fully

>>49904310
Pretty cuck thing to do desu, everyone else skips payments for their reparations and other debs yet there is this one nation of idiots that keeps paying them.

>>49904333
Others paid them in cash. Finland cut a deal with Soviet Union to pay it in raw manterials and built products like steam trains and ships. This forced Finland to industrialize and benefitted on the long run.

>>49904333
A reputation for honour and trustworthiness in exchange for some cash? Probably not a bad deal if you're a small nation without natural resources to make you rich.

>>49897370

Color me curious. how did you go about that? what sources did you use?

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>>49903743
>sung and played long incantations

>>49904333
>everyone else

You mean all the broke deadbeat countries that couldn't stay afloat without staling money from others?

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>>49904673
Don't forget the correct metre.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvxun84kTLI

>>49904828
You know it's fantasy because he's implying things grow in Finland

>>49904874

Autism grows in Finland.

>>49904901
It doesn't, it just stagnates vaguely upwards.

>>49904874
>implying things grow in Finland
>national debt
>immigrant population
>unemployment
>suicide rates

Check, m8.

>>49897133
The same way the Ruskies did in WWII, throw endless waves of bodies at them, at which point they'll surrender as they're pathetic cowards

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>>49903372

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>>49897133
Like this.

>>49905214
I'm a finn and I still dont understand why people got so butthurt over these.

>>49905221
I like lower body
T H I C C
H
I
C
C

>>49905252
Because they have big dicks?

>>49905221
What don't you understand?
It's about homosexuality, of course it would make some people butthurt.

>>49905323
I guess thats the thing then. I just dont get what the big deal is. Its just fucking stamps.

>>49905331
No one in Northern Europe cares. In the western world, only Southern Europeans and Americans feel the kind of sexual insecurity needed to give even the semblance of a fuck about it.

>>49897447
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV-n_UOjL3g

>>49905323
Plus apparently some people are butthurt that the most famous finnish cultural person abroad ain't some meme like Jansson or Sibelius but a homosexual war hero that drew gay porn.

>>49905367
But clearly someone in northern Europe cares if they got butthurt about these stamps. I have no idea why but they still did.

>>49905381
Was that a thing with this stamp series? "The most famous cultural person"?

>>49901507
>>49901523
>>49901449
>>49901543
Underrated useful posts

>>49905323
>homosexuality, of course it would make some people butthurt.
heh

>>49905372
No one knows what the Sampo is. It's never explained in the Kalevala, it's just something a whole lot of people want. It's been speculated that it might have originally been connected to the World Tree, and might have been imagined as the pillar upon which the heaven rotates. Lönnrot postulated that it might have been a mill that created that created flour, salt and gold out of thin air.

>>49905367
>No one in Northern Europe cares
Can't speak for other nations but I can tell you that there are plenty enough of them in Finland, albeit quite restricted to old people (who mostly just don't understand rather than feel disdain) and to low socio-economic status.
>>49905392
No. Whoever thought about it just felt that Tom of Finland ought to be celebrated, but there are people who are cross about him being part of our modern cultural heritage, at least as much as he's known abroad.

>>49903392
It's good, it just takes a reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaallly long time to get off the ground and into the story.

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>>49905413
I like Lonrot´s explanation mainly because Scrooge McDuck

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>>49905323
Don't know if erotic art is something to have national pride about and sold in regular stored and advertised on the cover of major publications. I bet you if I found someone who drew women in the same style, half-naked with erect nipples and tight pants, people would not put it on stamps, textiles, etc.

Then again, I'm not faulting the companies for striking while the iron is hot and making a killing from all the gay. Hell, if I thought I could sell dick shaped ice cream on the streets and get into the newspaper as a brave hero, I'd do it immediately.

>>49905645
>Hell, if I thought I could sell dick shaped ice cream on the streets and get into the newspaper as a brave hero, I'd do it immediately.

Probably can

>>49905667
Then again, I don't live in a major metropolitan area, so I'd probably just get arrested for indecency and nobody would care. I'm also not a public homosexual with a following.

>>49905645
>I bet you if I found someone who drew women in the same style, half-naked with erect nipples and tight pants
I don't think you really get it.
He was a man that drew hypersexualized men in homoerotic situations.
The guy is responsible for creating the whole ultramasculine gay aesthetic.

>>49905716
Do the men who came up with the money shot or dickgirls in Chinese cartoons get their own set of stamps and shit?

>>49902440
oh, this thread has trolls, all right. look harder.

>>49906151

They could have if they were competent at branding.

>>49906151
Sure. Who were those people? We can put them on the stamps right away.

>>49901523
Was it fine to have sex in the other public community buildings?

>>49906380
You imply that finnish villages only had one sauna.

>>49906393
Not really.

A humourous but well meaning bumbling military.

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>>49897133
Tons of creepy, nature spirits and fair folk, that are just as likely to fuck you over as they are to help you.
Also, everything is/has their own elf/spirit guardian thing.

Fire is hot because it is inhabited by angry, violent elves that wanna fuck your shit up.

Also, spells are sung, and song itself is basically magic.

Finnish mythology is whack jo.
Have some Finnish music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD_TIrX7zu0

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>>49903167
What makes you think that the modern ones don't?

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>>49903392
Stand Still, Stay Silent is the shit man.
I fucking love that comic.
>tfw the author is a Finn.

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>>49904333
>having honor and holding onto agreed upon promises.
>a cuck thing to do.

That attitude is why I fucking despise southern Europeans.
The sooner we Finns leave this disgusting union, the better. We can't work with those fucking leeches.
We are better off alone.

>>49909230
We already have the NU. And we could always let Estonia and Scotland join as well, they're ok dudes. Germany and England can get special treatment as honorary member states. But fuck the rest.

>>49909488
Agreed, fuck the rest of the Europe.
Though, Sweden needs to sort it's shit out before I accept any sort of proper union with those cunts.
They are heading towards a path of self destruction with their immigrant policies, and while it gives me some joy to see their death in the hands of the hostile foreigners they invited into their homes, as karmic justice for the crimes their people inflicted upon mine, I would still rather not have an Islamic nation next door to us.

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>>49897133
The land is inhabited by bearlike humanoids who speak a pidgin dialect of english. They share the land with a similar species of mute ursines with bodies consisting solely of a head and very long legs.

These beings seem dimwitted, ditzy, insane, and oftentimes comical to outsiders, but are a very expressive people with a rich history and culture.

Some have noted that travelers to this land have come back as Spurdos themselves, or behave as Spurdos and reportedly see the world around as consisting of Spurdos. Travelers from the Republic of Berger occasionally return as obese or muscular spurdos sporting a pair of sunglases and behaving in a stereotypical nationalistic manner. It is speculated that the Pepe of Kemet and the nomadic Wojak come to exist through similar means.

Finland's already a liberal fantasy.

>>49909997
We aren't that liberal though.
We are thankfully still racist and xenophobic as fuck.

>>49910111
I really wouldnt call ourselves racist or xenophobic, we just dont give a single shit. We just get really pissed if someone messes with our regular lives.

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>>49903427
>conquer Estonia
their face when we come

>>49909059
>Tons of creepy, nature spirits and fair folk, that are just as likely to fuck you over as they are to help you.
Isn't this all of northern Europe?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=etXbPrCZ6dk

>>49897133
I'm actually working on a fantasy setting based heavily around Northern Europe with a lot of Finnish influences right now. I mainly take inspiration from the Kalevala while mixing in stuff from Old Norse mythology and the Icelander Sagas, as well as what little Sami mythology I know of.

Basically, songs are magic, all evil comes from the north, and an old treasure that brought prosperity to the world in a previous age has been destroyed and lost. An ordinary adventure will take the characters, who are all great storytellers and bards in addition to being warriors (being able to speak properly was very important in societies with oral tradition) to the evil lands of the north, either to try and find the pieces of the lost treasure, or to get something stolen returned from the witches there.

>>49897926
Daily reminder that Russia won the Winter War and the Continuation War.

Easy.

Kalevala.

>>49915190
I once reminded some patriotic Finns about that in a nightclub. Let's just say, that I was escorted out with an ambulance.

>>49897133
A cold country full of socially reserved yet strangely memetic lewd elfs.

>>49915190
>lose an entire army
>gain a small strip of land
>country doesn't get occupied and raped by Russian niggers

Finland beat Russia because they're the only one of Russia's neighbors not irevoccably fucked by Soviet fuckups. Even eastern Germany still lags economically.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW4C-UZyb6s

>>49903768
It doesn't help when the place names are like "Dog dick ditch".

http://www.sci.fi/~alphabet/paikka.html
( not translated, but list of some rather suspect names )

>>49905367
Russians got pretty upset over them, though.

>>49915531
>russians
>western world
Russia is practically MENA.

>>49915531
>horse cunt bog didn't make it on the list

Fug, time to go and make up more uncouth place names, m8s.

>>49903772
Yeah, that's what he said.

What's the meaning of the "prkl" Finns are always stereotyped as saying? How do you even pronounce that?

>>49915593
Perkele. Pronounced as it is spelled. A common finnish swear.

>>49915531
Actually, let me translate some.
>America ( Amerikka in Pori )
>Horsepussy ( Hevonvittu )
>Valley of Silent Men ( Hiljaisten miesten laakso )
>Swamp of moldy ass ( Homeperseen suo )
>Whore ( Horo )
>Big dick ( Isomulkku )
>Middle dick ( Keskimulkku )
>Dog dick ditch ( Koirankyrpäoja )
>Pisshead ( Kusipää )
>Bellybutton/pole of world ( Maailmannapa )
>Murder Island ( Murhasaari )
>Leather pants ( Nahkahousut )
>It happens to be a pond ( Onpahanvaanlampi )
>Shit-Avenue ( Paska-Avenue )
>Shithat ( Paskahattu )
>Fart ( Pieru )
>Eye of pussy ( Pillunsilmä )
>Aapa of Whistling Cunt ( Viheltävän Vitun Aapa )

>>49915190
Well, on paper. Stalin's plan in Winter War was to take the whole country under the guise of "we just want to secure our borders" and in the end they didn't.

>>49910111
If you listen to the media, to whom a few retards on the street corner demanding moslems to get out is an epidemic that requires massive counter-protests.

Like the skyrim forsworn, except I throw in ice too.

>>49915613
>Horsepussy ( Hevonvittu )

Horsecunt would be a more apt translation.

>>49915593
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKVD5LxtWKo

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>>49915613
Joining the fun
>Under-Stench (Ala-Lemu)
>Annamari's Crotch (Annamarinhaara)
>Organmill (Elinmylly)
>Horse's Ass (Hevonperse)
>Hicksville (Junttikylä)
>Heat's Hood (Kiimankulma)
>Ham (Kinkku)
>Catpissing (Kissanloso)
>Catspanker's alley (Kissanpiiskaajankuja)
>Testisbay (Kiveslahti)
>Regret (Katuma)
>Kristina's cunt (Kristiinanpillu)
>Gangrene (Kuolio)
>A Hole (Kuoppa)
>Hose (Letku)
>Schlong (Lerssi)
>Poison (Myrkky)
>Shitholidayfjeld (Paskalomatunturi)
>Felt like shitting (Paskatti)
>An isle which Saara shat (Saaranpaskantamasaari)
>Bottom (Takalisto)
>Glansrear (Terskanperä)

>>49915794
>>Felt like shitting (Paskatti)
I'm in love with this word.

A combination of ancient finnish mythology (marrying women to bears/bear god etc.) and Kalevala
Puukko is mandatory, as well as alcohol and snow and sauna

Vertti oot homo

>>49915593
It's Per-ke-le, with the 'e' pronounced as the 'e' in 'eyy'
It's a catch-all swear that can mean almost anything really, though its etymology lies in Devil ( Piru in Finnish )
Slammed toe on something, Perkele
Got sex, Perkele
Cops chasing you for stealing ES, Perkele
Gypsies, Perkele
and so forth

>>49917536
It's kind of like fuck, really, except socially more acceptable.
We do have an analogous word for fuck (vittu), used as an intensifier in just the same way as in english and with partially the same meaning (female genitalia), but the intensifier use is seen as crass and more of a youth thing.
Perkele is more humorous, often more sincere and more good natured, though still vulgar so use must still be careful.