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That guy/dm thread. Post your best stories

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That guy/dm thread. Post your best stories
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>>49864812
Well my best campain was were i scripted a complex Storry surrounding the royal courts of europe (beginning 1700) but my players decided to take back constantinople and jerusalem
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>>49865117
Sounds like they did the right thing.
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>>49865151
well they simply didn't wanted do uncover conspiracies and stuff (i asked them before and everyone was ok with it but it didn't played out)
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>>49864812
>begin our first dungeon
>have highest perception and naturally assume I will be in front to find tra-
>long-range ranger triggers an explosion and all of us take damage
>we instantly have to rest and we talk about the need to have a formation
>about six rotations in I find another trap and am whispered by DM what I see
>"Okay guys don't do anyth-"
>Ranger shoots the trap, once again taking damage
>Alrighty then, decide to stay in the back, stop healing the idiots in front
>literally dying to traps instead of creatures about halfway in
>Once again a few of us start to talk about the necessity of a lack of dumbfuckery and to patiently proceed in formation
>see a long hallway and we get into formation with me in the front
>no one in front of me, no one at my side, "me in the, god damn, front"
>not one turn later ranger is running ahead again
>Go around corner and wait to hear him die to his own idiocy
>"I dont know why you are just staying back, if I trigger a trap that's just what happens in the game."

Theres always that one fucking guy who seems to be actively trying their best to roleplay a character with 4 INT.
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>>49865253
Good lord, I would have gone nuts with a group like that...
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>>49865210
So rather than slog through conspiracies, they left to make new kingdoms for themselves. Sounds smart
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>>49865792
they recruted an army and butcherd everyone who was weaker than they.
they were kind alike the 1700 version of a christian ISIS
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DM put us against an enemy roughly 5 levels ahead of us. None of us can hit it except the mage who had magic missiles stocked up (he didn't, but he told the DM he prepared them instead of other spells because we literally couldn't touch this guy otherwise). I'm glad the DM forgot about the magic immunity.
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>>49865735
1:Sorry about your to hear about your little brother man.
2: Are you going to try and have a story time this Sunday?
3: So that's what happened to your ear. Man that's kind of hard core.
4:What's with that little scar on the left side of your neck? Like down towards your chest.
5: Do you still talk to High Lander?
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>>49865823
Except, you know, they were right. so, not ISIS.
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>>49867716
you are mixing ISIS up with al qaida everyone knows were there bases are
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>>49864812
>play with that DM
>he considers corrupting Wishes obligatory, but isn't that good at it
>rather than twisting your words to something you didn't intend, he'd just have random terrible shit happen to you simultaneously with the Wish being granted
>say you wished for a magic sword. He wouldn't give a sword with alignment mods opposed to your own alignment that give you negative levels if you wield it. He wouldn't teleport to you a sword belonging to a powerful NPC who WILL be pissed off and come looking for it. He wouldn't give you a cursed sword or a sword of a size category so different you couldn't use it or even just say "A magic sword appears embedded in your neck".
>No, he'd just go "Okay, you're holding an enchanted sword, and giant Abyssal spiders burst out of your ass and eat you."
...And why did giant Abyssal spiders burst out of my ass and eat me?
>"Because you didn't wish for a magic sword *without* giant Abyssal spiders bursting out of your ass and eating you!"
And if I had, what would have stopped giant Infernal scorpions from bursting out of my urethra and eating me?
>"Nothing! Now you know why Wishes are dangerous magic, not to be abused."
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>>49868020
I don't think you know english. Nobody mentioned bases.
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>>49864812

>Pathfinder setting with prevalent guns and modern weapons as magic items.
>Paladin player that worships nature goddess attempts to utilize AKM found in treasure at end of dungeon.

Is it just me or is that kinda retarded?
>>
>Party descending a cliff using an elevator that works via a rope pull your system.
>DM declares it'll take us two days to descend 500 ft since that's "realistic".
>No other way to get down since we don't have the skills or equipment to descend the cliff on our own and DMX says it would also take us two days to climb down the elevator ropes.
>By the time we get down we already failed our time sensitive quest.

Later
>All our casters get captured and implanted with bombs that will kill us if we cast spells.
>DM says he doesn't want us to just wave our arms and magic our way out of problems.
>Still sets encounters at the same difficulty despite half our party not able to do anything but inefficiently attack with slings and whatnot.
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>>49869062
Two days to go 500ft DOWN?

Has your DM ever been outside?

Also, I'm pretty sure every other campaign with mages in the party still have a rough time, even with doing something they were meant to do. Goodness, that's like saying a warrior can't use a sword because using basic mechanics isn't how the game is supposed to work.
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>Get invited to an IRL group by a friend
>Friend warns me there's a That Guy in the group, but tells me not to worry about it.
>Okay.jpg
>Mett up with the GM, discuss the setting with him a bit, decide to make a character who's a student-wizard from the setting's main magic city. The party is there anyway to seek someone knowledgeable about magic, and now it doesn't have to be an NPC.
>Discuss this with the other players before next session, they're all for it, our party doesn't have any dedicated casters.
>Of course the only guy to not show up for this discussion is That Guy.
>Session day comes.
>That Guy is there.
>That Guy suddenly decides his character hates magic, hates my character, and hates the entire city.
>Despite the party having come here for help, that guy decides to attack the head of the magic academy, who's also the Queen's younger brother.
>Needless to say he handily gets his ass kicked and arrested... now I should have quit right here, but I just sorta let it roll off. Maybe he's not a good roleplayer, whatever, this is still salvageable.
>Rest of the party meets with the queen, basically Charisma's our way into blaming the attack on the stresses of adventuring and basically playing it off as a PTSD thing.
>Get That Guy out of jail.
>That guy suddenly accuses us all of BETRAYING him, both in-character and out, and rages at my character for not helping him. Because, you know, I should betray the city where I grew up to help some adventurer I just met settle a grudge that literally came out of nowhere.
>Rest of the players are obviously uncomfortable, but That Guy browbeats them until they all just kinda accept it. They all just wana play the game and arguing with That Guy isn't going to let them do that.
>Cool, the plot is now to assassinate the entire royal family of a city the players just wandered into for no reason other than one retard. Apparently my character is just supposed to be Ok with this.
>Session ends.
>Text GM not the game for me.
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>>49865117

ISTANBUL!
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>>49868067
>"Because you didnt wish for a magic sword *without* giant Abyssal spiders bursting out of your ass and eating you!"
Fuck him but this is primo
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>>49869185
had something similar happen to me only I was a rouge and part of a thieves guild that the party 'needed' the help of to sneak into a city. To bad That Guy missed the session where they brokered this deal and went full auts because his paladin would never work with the likes of thieves.
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I had a That Guy who was a ranger, and whenever it was anyone else's turn doing something he'd keep talking shit. Then whenever it was his turn he'd suddenly be busy and make us wait for like 10-30 minutes until he was done. Then he'd usually get drunk, act like a total fucking moron, then pass out so I'd have to end the session. Happened 3 times until I just decided to kill his character with an ogre smash to the head. Then I got bitchy emails from him for months about how I treated him unfairly and I should let him back in my game.
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>>49869062
He wasn't called Marty, by any chance?
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Anyone have stories about a player getting called out for being a That Guy and trying to pass it off by saying "But that's just what my character is doing!" instead of trying to take responsibility for shitty behavior? I love that particular argument. For example:

>Be GMing
>Character has been getting the beatstick treatment all campaign
>Wanted his character to be the epic hero center of attention
>Mentions how he doesn't want the paladin to outshine his damage(He was a 3rd level fighter in 5e that picked defense as his fighting style)
>Tells me he might make a new character because he didn't like being knocked down all the time
>I tell him that's just what tanking is like when any given enemy attack roll has a minimum of 25% chance to harm him even though his AC is high for his level.
>He continues whining.
>Get to boss fight of session
>Big thematic fight
>High challenge monster with a bunch of handicaps to make for a relatively awesome encounter scale
>He gets knocked down in the course of the "deadly" threshold encounter
>Whines incessantly both in and out of character
>I tell him to quit bitching
>"Well tell my character that, not me!"
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>>49869418
That's just sad of both of you.
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>>49865117
Deus fucking vult.
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>>49869418

Uh no actually. In fact our THAT GUY eventually became THIS GUY after we sat him down and told him he was pissing us off.

Really looking back I think it was really on us for not saying anything sooner because he ended up being super cool. I think he was just trying to hard to fit in or something but yeah dude was aces.
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>>49869418
That is, in my experiences, how it always goes.
>>49869431
Sad how? Because the DM told him to stop complaining that his character can get hurt?
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>>49869185
Gotta love when Gamers (the /v/ kind) get into TTRPGS and expect them to play like Skyrim.
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>>49869603

That sounds nice. Got any stories of his That Guyisms before the turn around? Maybe some This Guy stories for juxtaposition.
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>>49869677

It sounded like he had a semi legitimate complaint about his class's role in the party that was outright ignored. Yeah I get he was a whiner but what I got out of that story was the DM making him play a class he wasn't having fun with.

You have to be willing to compromise too.
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>>49869692

No, I told him that he could change out if he wanted, but he just sat there and brooded because he was attached to the character or something.
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>>49869681
>Got any stories of his That Guyisms before the turn around?

Basically he was an edge lord. Constantly mouthing off, trying to do everything on his own and not being a team player in the slightest.

No one story really sticks out but he would mouth off to everyone, insult our characters run ahead and to borrow the WoW term get us Leroy Jenkins'd more than once.

Eventually the DM (Me) pulled him aside while we breaked for lunch and asked what his deal was and he did give the "Im just role playing, that's my character" excuse and I did want to get mad, but I also realized that since we where all kind of young, with him the younges he just wasn't good at switching his role play off when it wasn't his turn. He was a great role player but was really just bad at letting us know he was role playing, if that makes sense.

After that we finished the campaign and when we rolled new characters he played a much more cooperative one and really shined as a team player.

He really did want to be friends with the group but just didn't know how was the problem, so Im glad we gave him the benefit.
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>>49864812
>the plot is vaguely based around Plant creatures but every new threat is designed to hard-counter the two most optimized players
>meaning the other two barely get any spotlight half the time
>when the GM does try to give them some time to shine or a challenge they can actually beat, the two optimized guys end up steamrolling it
>and there's way too many one-off NPC's no one remembers the names of

The joke is the DM is me.

Ahahahaha how did I get myself into this mess.
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>>49869418
I never had any explicit bitching per se, more so general apathy/edginess.

>GMing an already fairly large party
>One of the players invites their co-worker, I figure it's just one more person
>They make an elf ranger
>Chaotic Evil
Feel free to stop here, I know I sure as hell should've
>Tried talking to him about the evil thing and how it explicitly won't work with a lawful good monk/paladin and a good cleric and druid
>He just shrugs and gives no input regardless of what I say
>Game time comes, he acts pretty nervously and hides the evilness well
>Stops the team getting lost, does some sniping, the standard ranger affair.
>I figure maybe I was wrong about him.
>The party eventually gets caught in the middle of a horrendous storm so they rush to a cave for shelter.
>Being the only elf the ranger takes the majority of the watches, sharing the first one with the druid
>The party then encounters a wandering woman, cloaked in now soaked hide armour and toting a staff
>She claims to be a wandering druid and asks if she can stay with them
>The party's druid is understandably skeptical, however as he reasonably contemplates aloud the newbie speaks up out of nowhere.
>"We should rape her"
>Now keep in mind one of the people at the table was a known sexual assault victim, so much as we try to be mature there's a line of sensitivity that's not to be crossed.
>After the brief moment of dead silence I usher the conversation along so we can get back to the game and not have any table freakouts, but I shoot him a look that could burn a hole through him
>Once again he just gives that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ look I mentioned before and continues on.

(Cont.)
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>>49869193
Is constantinople
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>>49869717

Here's a tip, Next time you tell that story? PUT THAT DETAIL IN. It's important.
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>>49869817

This is actually the most annoying problem to face. A meek party member with a character that is not well-built meets a boistrous character that is optimized to shit. It's a party dynamic nightmare. My best tip is to carefully consider what roles the other characters can actually fill better than the optimized guys and somehow throw in encounters and shit about that, or just ask the optimized guys to share spotlight. I've had experience being that kind of optimized, show-boating dick before, and i've had to lay low out of courtesy to other character before.
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>>49868937
It's you.
Being devoted to nature doesn't mean you can't use man-made objects.
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>>49869882

Really I wish players would stop being so defined by absolutism.
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>>49869825
cont.
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>>49869825
>The druid then asks where her animal companion in: she replies saying it's found shelter elsewhere.
>They understandably don't trust her, and come up with the ingenius idea of saying she can stay if they can tie her up: she understandably doesn't appreciate this
>After some "escalated discussion" she straight up threatens to use nature's wrath against them
>The ranger decides to fire an arrow anyway, and is somehow surprised when he gets a hold person to the face when she straight up told him
>By this point the party is awake and confused and now have full right to throw obscenities across the table at their newest party member's obvious psychopathy.
>Also somehow the rogue is the only one that thought of speaking druidic to the druid
>Which not only made the party's druid realise the huge mistake he almost made, but also got him in huge future crap with his circle
To be fair this guy was a half-orc who was a bear in his spare time so he wasn't out of character, just stupid.
>The cleric then insisted they let her stay and everything was fine.
>Except for some reason the elf waited until a later watch, then tried to sneak past the rogue and kill her in her sleep.
>I asked why
>¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>What did I expect?
>Thankfully between the rogue and the cleric sleeping nearby both having huge perception he couldn't sneak a fart past let alone a shanking
>He eventually ended up being tied up in the cave for the night, and even tried to break loose so he could do try once again
>Eventually the session ended and the party actually asked him why they should keep trusting this psychopath.
>¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We didn't invite him back after that. Looking back he wasn't the best to begin with: kept interrupting by spouting memes and didn't come up with much creatively but I thought he was just new and would grow into it with time. Heck, maybe we would've kept him if we didn't already have too big a group, but the insensitivity and lack of co-operation took it too far.
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>>49869882

Does the fact that he had an animal companion thing that was a deer change anything? Maybe more context is needed.
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>>49869942

That changes nothing. Don't be an absolutist, it kills character growth.
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>>49869859
Yeah, I hate players like that. The ones that just sit at the table and don't talk or do anything unless specifically asked and then complain nobody pays attention to them or lets them do things.
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>>49869953

Fair enough I suppose.
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>>49869958

God, I know, right? I'm in a game of rogue trader right now with a first time GM, and for some reason he allowed a telecommuter to participate over skype. It's bad enough that i've got a bunch of dipshits playing literally the same character(3 arch-militants with the exact same origin paths) to deal with, but this guy won't talk when other people are talking, and gets pissy when we don't poll him for his opinion on any given matter. He's not even in the room, and won't even use his webcam to show his face and he expects us to remember he exists when he's completely silent and has a character that is basically mass produced.
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>>49864812
first game i every played I was DM, as myself and two friends wanted to get into DnD. Rogue and a Wizard investigating a former wizards tower that by all means was now infested with cultists.
By a combination of sneaking, lucky rolls and straight up murder they got through to the second from the top floor to a library.

>old man wizard tries to pull suspicious looking book down from high shelf
>fucks up and knocks down half the shit on the shelf making huge amount of noise
>Cult leader hears from upstairs, supposed to be big bad of this little session
>starts running down the stairs with 2 pleb cultists on his tail
>rogue asks if he can throw ball bearings in his pack onto staircase
>I say why the fuck not
>what was essentially the boss of this session slips over on the ball bearings, not once, not twice, but three times, taking him down to very low health, allowing these two level one characters to easily kill him

I'm not even sure we were following the rules properly but we certainly had a lot of fun
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>>49870018

I always let my players go off the rule book when they show an active interest in clever environmental role play
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>>49870018
Hey, man. Calm down. This is a thread about that guys. Don't go sprucing it up with stories of having fun and enjoying yourself with interesting roleplay.
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>>49869832
>>49869193
Hey even old New York was once New Amsterdam.
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>>49870256

Why they changed it, I can't say
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>>49866414
Dude Fail, is almost never on here any more I dont think he will answer your questions.that any you would have better luck asking him on his you tube
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>>49870271
Yes! Someone gets my bad jokes!

>>49870286
Um hi, I'm here now for the next 30 seconds but only for the first 30 callers.

>>49866414
Thank you, and yes that's the story of why my ear is messed up looking. As for story time... Ehh I don't know. I mean I hope to be able to do it, but with every thing that is going on in my personal life... I might not be able too. Yes I still talk to High Lander, but not very often any more. And the scar on my neck is a story for another day.
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>>49870319
TRIP FAG LEAVE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>49870385
Yeah! Only plebbitors want to distinguish themself from other people online!
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>>49870385

You know, it's a good thing we're on the internet, because if you made that noise in real life someone would just fucking clock you.

I feel like we take anonymity for granted sometimes.
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>>49869942
So you're saying you use guns to hunt deer, so you can't have both?
What should he have instead, a bow? A spear?
>>
Not so much That Guy story, but one of an interesting conflict between two characters

>one shot three man session
>I'm a dragonborn fighter, other PC is a halfling wizard
>NG and CN respectively
>we get into a fight with a bandit and his dog
>naturally, fuck his shit up
>dog whimpers and sticks around his dead owner
>I would leave it at that, but wizard wants loot so I begrudgingly agree to help try and drive the dog off
>he fails, I fumble and lose a finger over it
>at this point I say fuck it and leave the thing alone, lesson learned
>wizard frost rays it away, dog now in agony
>ooc it's fine but of course ic I'm like "dude just let it go"
>loots the bandit, then kills the dog as it limps off
>I sigh sadly and have my character start to dig a pit
>wizard asks what I'm doing
>say I'm going to bury the dead bodies, not just leave them to rot in the sun (couldn't burn them either as the dog turned out to be a hell hound)
>he's clearly not impressed and asks why I would treat my dead enemies with this kind of respect, even after losing a finger over it
>I take a deep breath
>"It's what my character would do"
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>>49870039
I never do, but throwing ball bearings down a staircase isn't going off the rulebook.
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>>49871357
Who needs to see through invisibility when you have three bags of flour and a good throwing arm?
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>>49868937
Ecoterrorists use technology to get their point across too. Paladins of Chauntea use smith-made equipment too. It's just you mate.
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>>49871375
Anyone who has enemies with a decent Ref save.
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>>49871547
Good point.
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>>49868067

It's Dicko the Sun Genie logic.

You now have a magic sword ON THE SUN.
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>Someone in the party holds a basic dialogue in character
>That guy chuckles to himself
>Someone in the party describes their action with flourish rather than just saying "I do X"
>That guy chuckles to himself
>Evil villain gives monologue
>That guy chuckles to himself
>Nobody is else seems to be bothered by this
welcome to my special hell
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>>49871894
This post just made me chuckle to myself.
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>>49871894

In or out of character?

One makes him a boring, smug character who doesn't gel with a party. The other makes him an insufferable dickbag who would get a stern talking to and eventually an eviction from our game.
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>>49871894
>tfw you chuckle in appreciation when someone does something you like.
I hope this hasn't made me hated in any of my previous groups.
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>>49869062
>DMX says it would also take us two days to climb down the elevator ropes.
>DMX
X gave it to ya
>>
>>49871357
>Marbles, Bag of
>About two dozen assorted glass spheres in a pouch. Commonly used as a toy, but also useful for checking slopes (just set one down and see which way it rolls) or as a nondamaging alternative to caltrops, one bag covers a 5-foot square. Creatures moving through or fighting in the area must make a Balance check (DC 15) every round they remain within that area or fall prone.

Actually it's a perfectly legit strategy. Better than caltrops.
>>
its irritating when the players try to do meta, but at least you can call them on it and the GM can deny their attempts at that, but its infuriating when the GM himself does metagaming

>enemy caster attacks with fire spells
>quaff a potion that makes spells bounce towards the caster
>The enemy stops casting spells on that character even when he has been doing so throughout all the fight

>character is immune to weapons made of cheap iron
>enemies with these weapons ignore this character or aren't found anymore

>character casts invisibility spell or rolls for stealth
>suddenly enemies become paranoid and start to look harder and zap dispel at every corner

>Hide something important in a barrel on a cart
>never before had the guards of a city asked us to show the contents of the barrels that we have always carried with us

fuck you
>>
>>49869185
Good on you for just getting the fuck out. Way too many people would have stayed or something stupid.
>>
I have a blind character in my group who constantly, but fucking constantly makes the issue of his blindness, whenever something revolves around sight.

When the DM describes a room and says "You see", he's the first to comment he doesn't see shit. When they negotiate guard duty, he says he'll keep an eye out almost always. When they ask where party member x is, he is always there to say He didn't see him.

It was funny for the first few sessions, but it's been going on for four months now. It hurts.
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>>49865253

Dude, I never had that much difficulty reading a short piece of text, are you foreign (then ok, no prob) but if you are a native english speaker, you really need to work on your sentence building.
>>
>>49872204
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
>>
>>49869934
>>Eventually the session ended and the party actually asked him why they should keep trusting this psychopath.
>>¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Probably should've phrased that last question: "Why should we keep trusting your psychopath of a character? and if you answer with a shrug I will fucking break your goddamn nose!"
>>
>>49872213
That's a good pain, anon. Let it overtake you.
>>
>GM for group of newbs, 5e
>Had no idea there was a That Guy lurking
>Session 1, small hamlet under attack
>That guy walks outside the protective walls to talk to the attackers
>"Sure, what do you say to them?", expecting some form of Intimidation or parlay
>"I say 'hi, whats up?'"
>"Uh, yeah, they decide to set the tone by swinging on you, roll initiative."
>That guy just stands there, taking hit after hit, not fighting back, repeatedly asking them what they're doing and who they are.
>Gets zeroed
>Party who saw this starts hastily scheming a rescue mission to get that guy back up
>"Nah, dont worry about it guys, I'll take the death"
>He wanders away from table for next hour while party gets through the fight
>Wrap up session, ask him whats up and if there was something about the game he didnt like?
>"I just wanted to mae sure no one was taking the game too seriously, haha! I'll just restart my character next session."

Two sessions have gone by and he's behaved, but now I'm perpetually wary of him pulling some random bullshit again and just dropping out.
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>>49872314
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>
>>49872372
>"I just wanted to mae sure no one was taking the game too seriously, haha! I'll just restart my character next session."

Why did you let him come back?
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>>49872442
Because it was his house we played at, and his college aged daughter hung out on the couch in tight shorty shorts like pic related.
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>>49872372
That's not too horrible, to be honest. At least he got done quickly and left the game.
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>>49871894
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>>49872213

Hold him down and pour candlewax in his ears. The character, not the player. Then ditch him in the woods.
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>>49872516
All right, fair enough.

Sounds like you should have invited his daughter to play, though.
>>
>>49869418
My friend invited me to join an online game and we made a dynamic duo for it. I was a cunning but savage warrior while he was a charismatic, acrobatic swordsman. The idea was while he Errol Flynn'd across chandeliers making tawdry jokes about the villain's mistress, I would already be hidden or disguised in the room, ready to sow chaos. It worked out pretty well. Too well. I was our strategist and front line fighter while he was the party face, second string fighter, and had some minor magic to top it off. We hogged the spotlight in combat and social encounters, but didn't realize it at the time. We just thought the other players were kind of shy. When the GM told us they were feeling left out, we toned it down a bit and got them more involved, but we really were just playing our characters as best we could.
>>
>>49869837
Why is it important?
A player does not need permission to create a new character, and the detail that would be important would be if OP DENIED that.
You are assuming the worst about OP out of hand with no evidence. That's why these threads are shit more often than not, people automatically assume that somehow OP is at fault for whatever happened unless the situation is so extreme as to be clearly fake, like
>>49869825
>>49869934
>>
>>49870018
>Killing a villain by making him fall down a flight of stairs.

No, fuck the rules, they are doing it right.
>>
>>49870666
>sometimes
>>
>>49872209
This is my special kind of hell as a necromancer player
>Focus on debuffs
>They do their job well
>Suddenly enemies are immune to many forms of debuffs
>Saves are retard high
>no undead except the ones I make so any command spells are wasted
Suffering
>>
>>49872867
>A player does not need permission to create a new character
I don't really care about the rest of your comment, but do you (or GMs you play with) just let people show up with new characters and cycle them into the game as the old one leaves? As a GM, there's nothing I could do to stop someone from making a new character, but they sure as hell need my permission to use it in my game.
>>
I'm kind of new to tabletops and played with some old school pals. They're nice and all, but they do a lot of stupid shit. They obviously play super casually and I don't know every facet of the game, but it kind of made the experience frustrating.

>we once spent 10 minutes rolling to get a fire going in a house we owned for some reason
>constant breaks in combat because people ooc amble about the house in the middle of an encounter and we all have to wait while some fuck is making a cheese platter for himself
>DM has a boss slip and fall on his neck because we were taking too long fighting him (because of the previously mentioned problem)

I didn't have fun, but I'm trying again in two days.
>>
>>49872966
don't worry man.
No matter what happens you always have the zombie cube.
>>
>>49873006
No, but there is a difference between assuming that OP specifically denied the player rolling up a new pc (which is supported by nothing in the post), and assuming the player wanted to try and stick it out (which can be assumed from the post).
If a player said to me that they wanted to switch pcs, I'd allow it so long as they were not literally in the middle of something, and even then, I'd make the new pc in the background to make the switchover simple.
>>
DM hates magic users. Rolling up 5th level characters for a new campaign, I get a mage. DM insists I have to randomly pick my spells from a box instead of choosing them myself. End up with crap like protection from good (we are all good alignment) and Corpse light (light spell that only works on dead bodies). The only offensive spell I get is Maxamillian's Earthen Grasp, which I caste as often as possible in the combat intensive game that follows but party still winges constantly at me for not pulling my weight in combat.
>>
>>49870482
This is literally a correct statement, despite your sarcasm. Tripfagging when your identity is of no consequence to the thread is the most blatant sort of newfaggotry.
>>
>>49873423
Someone hasn't seen his youtube channel.


Herbert the Pervert with Sherbet
>>
>>49873379
What kind of dick does this? I'd tell him too stop that shit or leave.
>>
>player who doesn't roleplay or barely roleplays sighs and calls another character edgy when they talk down to enemies
>player randomly drops their character with no explanation then comes in with a new one who's sole motivation is "he's in it for the money I guess"
>>
>>49873451
I don't care if motherfucking Gygax himself shambles his corpse to the keyboard and starts posting here, if the posts he makes don't directly require proof that it's really him, he either takes the trip off or he can fuck off.

This is fucking basic ettiquete.
>>
>>49873166
Zombie cube?
You have my curiosity.
>>
>>49873451
What a brown noser.
>>
>>49864812

>That guy decides to play a zoophile
>As in, literally spent some of his share of proceedings on our first adventure buying a "harem" of 20 goats and fucking them all outside of town.
>Tries to resist a fade to black, but gets steamrollered over.
>We vote, in character, to ditch his ass in this backwards hamlet
>Tries to tag along.
>Wait, why don't you want me with you?
>Because you're a fucking pervert and now the whole town doesn't think we're heroes for stopping they're problems, they think we're lunatics because you fucked all their goats.
>Decides that the appropriate response to this is to attack the rest of the group.
>Funnily enough, 1:3 odds doesn't go so great for him.
>Then whines about how awful we are to play with, and how we need to "lighten up", until the GM kicks him.

It was a weird Tuesday.
>>
>>49873596
Never trust a halfling from new zealand, That's what i say.
>>
>>49864812
Gee fucking wilikers do i have a story to tell
>GMing homebrew that ive made over the last 2 years
>two of the party members were involved in making it, and the party is encouraged to provide any input or ideas for the setting
>i really like the setting
>party is six people with four of them being new
>they're really, really trying to not be murder hobo's, but violence is usually the answer
>iexpectedthis.jpeg
>they at least roleplay it well for the most part
>the party consists of a human paladin, an drider warlock (who was pretending to be a wizard) a drider rouge, Oni barbarian, dragonborn swordmage, and undead psionic.
>out of all of them the problem is a rouge
>acts like a disintrested cunt constantly, says, "thats what my character would do"
"right so, the king begins to spe-"
>"who cares"
"what?"
>"oh thats what my character would say, or rather think"
>thats what i thought
>does this multiple time
>only really cares about combat
>last straw comes during a boss fight that has been building for the last few sessions
"AT LAST I HAVE AWAKENED, PREPARE YOURSELVES FOOL FOR I-"
>"OOH MY GOOD WHO THE FUCK CARES"
>i dont think ive ever been more angry in my life ever, i actually fucking exploded
>MOTHER FUCKER I CARE, AND EVERYONE ELSE CARES YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT GET THE FUCK OUT IF YOU DONT
>everyone else equally pissed
>end session early as i am unable to stop being furious
he said sorry but i still have not forgiven him
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>>49873843
Wow, and i thought my adhd was bad, but I didn't think it was possible for someone to hate having fun with a group of people this bad. How the fuck does someone even end up being this cunty?
>>
>>49873886
ya know its funny, cause the setting is really the result of my horrible ADHD, but he honestly thought that saying shit like that to me was OK
>>
>>49873423
I remember when tripfags where as conman as pics of tits on /b/.
>>
>>49873968
i mean, that was a diffrent time anon, remember 4chan was never good, just a diffrent kind of cancer. also this really isnt early /b/
>>
>>49873996
>anon
That's a tripfag you fucking loose ninny
Stop being a fag enabler
>>
>>49873596
Welsh, kiwi or kebab?
>>
>>49874018
sorry
>>49873968
i mean, that was a diffrent time faggot, remember 4chan was never good, just a diffrent kind of cancer. also this really isnt early /b/
>>
>>49874028

I didn't ask, but he looked like some sort of partial hispanic ancestry.
>>
>>49869253
This would be great if it was a fuck up Genie's shtick. Just add abyssal ass spiders to all wishes
>>
>>49873915
I cannot fathom how people can end up thinking like that, and get far into adulthood without getting punched. To keep this thread on track,
>Session has me, a level 1 cleric, a level 5 elven rogue and a level 5 eladrin fighter trapped inside of a pyramid
>My first time playing tradition games ever, so I'm mostly providing heals and roleplaying
>Fighter keeps referring to the giant scorpions as indian food and other blatant ooc shit
>Kinda irritated but he's the only tank in the party so i let it slide
>He keeps running forward and aggroing more swarms of giant scorpions, usually responding with more jokes about turkish bug kebabs and shit
>Every turn i have is either healing his dumb ass or running away from a blanket of stinging death
>Rogue accidentally opens a door full of banshees and a lich
>Roll a 20 and negotiate with the lich to leave us be
>Mr. bones tells us that there are two other liches in the pyramid and to be careful, etc.
>Fighter decides to try to teabag the lich as we leave, getting banshees on our ass again
>Slightly more irate than before, to the point I negotiate with the lich to take the fighter and give us aid
>Fighter cross negotiates that he should join me
>Our rolls are equal so we both end up getting tortured by banshees until the fighter negotiates his way out and i heal the banshees to death
>Later rogue finds a chest and fails insight on it and I'm too far away to check it myself
>Fighter rolls and destroys the chest just as i get to it
>Ancient robes and legendary dagger destroyed beyond repair
Fighter had to drop out after for the session and thank god for that, we found a transdimensional pub and i know for a fact that his "funny antics xD" would have gotton us tpked by the barmaid. 'Course he came back for the next one, I knew this because the first thing i read when i joined the session was him rolling to eat a dying dire wolf. Raw.
>>
This is why I'll never get to play TTRPGs. The horror stories scare me off, especially online ones.
>>
>>49873996
>>49874033
I didn't say that it was hell even back 04 when I first started coming to 4chan it was bad.
>>
We recently let my best friend's 8-year-old join our game after weeks of begging. He had to prove himself by sitting with us for a session without getting bored or complaining and he did. We all thought he'd be a That Guy about the whole thing but it's been fun.

>role him up a halfling ranger
>basically role plays as himself, a little kid tagging along with heroes on a grand adventure
>knows when to role his d20 and attack die, we help him with the math but he's getting better
>good to a fault
>always yelling at the BBEG
>"don't you know what you're doing is wrong!? You're hurting innocent people!"
>I like giving him justified reasons for the BBEG's actions in character and hearing his responses
>befriended my npc goblin merchant who tails the party in certain areas and causes all kinds of mischief
>he LOVES when I speak as the goblin (Doblinious von Gob, Doblin for short), everyone loves the goblin
>fell for Grandma Jeane's warm hospitality and mistakenly drank some of her vomit blood "tea" because he didn't want to be rude to a nice old lady
>actually got frightened when the illusion faded and he's stuck in a room with a 7-foot night hag and a cauldron of cooking children bits

Like I said, pleasantly surprised. Role playing with a vivid imagination is great. We've always been an animated group (people often getting out of their chairs play-acting combat, lots of yelling) and the kid's adding to the fun.

Now tell me about your angsty 15-year-old groups when everyone used to be That Guy. He'll be there soon enough.
>>
Do exceptionally blatant metagamers count as That Guy?
>>
>3.5
>1st level
>Me: Can I know something about the game to make a character fit for the setting/campaign?
>GM: No
>Me: Srly, nothing? not even how the setting is or anything? steampunk? medieval fantasy? eastern? wuxia?
>GM: No
>Options are slightly more than core (Hexblade, Scout, Duelist and Warlock are included), not many feats outside core and all of them really bad choices
>Roll poorly (10/16/12/11/9) so I have to make a SAD character
>Decide to go Ranged Scout because the feat that gives you +2d6 on skirmish is allowed so I can get some damage even if my Str is just 10
>GM: Welcome to Eberron meets Ravenloft
>Me: Fuck
>Everything is constructs and undeads so they not only ignore my precission damage their DR also reduces my damage to 0
>Useless in combat
>So many traps and of so high DCs I eat them all and we spend all our healing resources in me
>Die in the last combat of the session by bullshit reasons "two construct wolves were hidding and even though I rolled like a 15+ on spot I didn't see them and they AoO the shit out of me and then in their surprise turn continued attacking me, went from 9 HPs to -15
>Me: Well, at least will roll something that fits the setting and isn't useless
>GM: No, you'll get ressurrected, you have -2 Con now because you're 1st level
>Me: Fuck me
>My uselessness continues session after session
>Every begging to the GM is futile
>Me: If I MC into Ranger and pick Swift Hunter I can at least damage the creatures that attack us
>GM: No
>Now Elementals, oozes and Plants also appear making 100% of combats designed to shit on me
>Traps are also impossible to spot and/or to dismantle and hid monsters are impossible to spot
>Die twice more
>Get ressurrected twice more making my level 2 while the rest is 4
>Me: That's it, I'm out
>GM: Yeah, go cry somewhere else, it's clear you're not made for this kind of games
Fuck that guy

Meanwhile the warlock is dealing 4d6 unpreventable damage to touch AC and everybody was ok with it
>>
>>49874154
that sounds really nice anon, kids can make the best players at times because there souls have not been crushed by the world yet.
>>
>new guy joins or FLGS group (5e)
>first time playing an ttrpg
>doesn't know how to make a character
>we help him
>ask him what class he wants to play
>''uhh I don't know what do I have to choose from?''
>show him Players handbook
>point out that we need a paladin, maybe he could play that
>one guy in our group jokes around, says he should play the commoner npc class
>''okay i'll play that!''
>what
>ask if he's serious
>he says yes
>he wants to play a commoner npc class as a pc
>tell him he will be useless as a party member but in a nice way
>he still wants to play it
>dm okay's it
>he dies two combat encounters in
>he decides he wants to play an actual class now
>makes a human neutral good cleric of Eldath
>we still joke about his commoner pc, because he managed to survive an encounter with 2 nagas but died to a hoard of goblins
>the bravest commoner who ever lived

Not really a that guy but it was fun
>>
>>49874154
That sounds like a lot of fun. Don't have stories like it except when I was 15 myself playing 3.5 with a bunch of other 15 year olds who didn't know what the fuck we were doing.

Shit like rolling for our hit die at first level, DM making us keep 1-3 hp rolls and then throwing us in some arena with a bunch of spiders. We rolled new characters every single time we played because we ALWAYS died.

Somehow I still play this game.
>>
I remember her I was a kid, some asshole tricked me into giving him one if the best cards in pokemon for like a squirtle or something. I still remember that to this day. Now me and my little brother use to get into some heated video game arguments. But now since we're older we don't get into fights at all, so when I play 40k with him and my orks lose. I just say "good game" and bring my space marines out.
God, I wish people weren't sore losers. If I ever play DnD, I just accept death and let it wash over me like a ocean wave.
>>
>>49874075
At least he tried the negotiation thing once, I guess. We got a guy who just draws his sword at anything and hates non-combat roleplay.

>the town guard comes to speak with your group
>"I draw my sword and attack"
>this fiend approaches you in the inn with a letter from his master and a word of warning
>"I draw my sword and attack"
>you sense several fey creatures watching as you approach the sacred tree"
>"I draw and attack the tree"

We grapple him constantly. He's gettin a kick after this campaign.
>>
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>>49869062
>>
>>49874075
(cont.)
Okay so, I was late to the next session but I showed up just as the ball got rolling.
>Supposed to be getting ambushed in camp
>Dorf fighter has also joined the party
>Join the game, first thing i see in chat is the fighter rolling to eat a dying direwolf
>Rp gloves snap on, chaotic neutral but I, as a well adjusted dragonborn, am apalled at this fucking insane shit, so i put the wolf out of it's misery
>Undead are apparently drawn to the scuffle, way more than all of us can handle
>Create a pool of water forming a large puddle, planning to turn it into holy water
>Rogue and dorf fighting off the horde while i set up, bless them
>Fighter tries to espouse to the undead about how much he hates other races
>obviously this goes nowhere, so he opts to show the undead his penis, a much better thought out plan
>Reasons, probably in character, that seeing my dick will make them go away XDDDD
>Dm makes some of the undead get disgusted, I sigh at him enabling this autism
>Rogue scouts around the camp sinse the dorf has shit locked down, finds a wounded dire wolf
>Decide to heal it because the holy pool is keeping most of the undead away, bad rolls make the process take longer than necessary
>Seeing what I'm doing, the fighter finds another wounded dire wolf and rolls to DRAG THE THING ACROSS THE CAMP TO A GREEN POOL THAT MAY OR MAY NOT DO ANYTHING
>naturally, the whines of the dying animal being dragged through the dirt bring more undead to join the fun
>My direwolf is healed up so i run to the other one
>Roll up my sleeves and get to work healing it while the rogue stea; whatever she can from the undead and the fighter eats poisonous mushrooms, spits them on his dick and invites the zombies to bite it
>I am not exaggerating these events at all
>Eventually we discover a dullahan was leading this horde of undead in the forest
>Also the green pool turned the dire wolf into a kobold but that is relatively sane for this session
Autism continues
>>
>>49874154
Reminds me of Magnus.
RIP ;_;7
>>
>>49874189
Passive aggressive little bitch GMs are the absolute worst.
At least an outright shit GM can be avoided quickly
>>
>>49874342
What the fuck kind of GM has this little respect for his own game
>>
>>49874315
What kind of life did his character have that would justify that? When he was a kid, did he draw his wooden sword and attack whenever someone approached? Did he beat up his mother after being born?
>>
>Know this guy for years
>He goes to study abroad and returns 3 years later
>He says he has a game in mind
>DM says he wants to run a high level (15th) 3.5 game set on a postapocaliptic modern world in where demons/devils entered through a rift and destroyed everything
>Says it's going to be hardcore so EVERYTHING is allowed
>What's everything?
>As long as it's official it's allowed, so every book, splat and even dragon magazine as long as it's 3.5. Send me your char sheets once you made them. Also at least 2 pages of backstory. Stats are 18, 16, 16, 14, 14, 12, rearrange them as you see fit.
>Ok
>Send him my char sheet literally the next day
>1 week later he replies telling me that character is a no because he doesn't allow 3 feats (who happen to be the core of the character concept) also no magic items are allowed
>Mmmm...ok
>Send him 2 character sheets the next day
>2 weeks later he replies telling me that he doesn't allow wildshapping into anything that isn't normal animals which kills one character (wildshape ranger/master of many forms) and he doesn't allow teleportation features/spells (which kills my shadow pounce clawlock)
>...so everything is allowed, right?
>Send him 2 other character sheets 2 days after
>2 weeks later he replies with no divination spells are allowed killing my divination PrC class and he says no to superior unarmed strike, improved natural strikes, decisive monk, psywar stacking even though they stack by RAW and RAI
>...one more and I'm out
>Send him last character sheet
>1 week later he says duskblade isn't allowed neither classes from ToB
>Fuck it, I'm out
>2 weeks later I get a mail, that also was sent to the other players saying that the game is cancelled because me, that it's been 4 months and I still didn't send him shit went into arguments with him and other false shit
>>
>>49872239
I think you may just be illiterate.
>>
>>49874202
Agreed. We try not to swear too much or let things in game get overly graphic, but we do and it does. He seems ok with it. Nothing sexual in game, but it can get gory.

>>49874213
We still play 3.5 and make rolls for stupid shit all the time even after 12 years. Go figure.
>>
>>49864812

Haha, man, one sticks out in my mind.

>See new girl at the local shop, buying 3.5 book.
>Hit her up, says she's in town for the summer and wants to play some D&D.
>We get along great and she asks me to join.
>Play fighter, girl I was talking to is a cleric, guy I used to go to school with is a cross bow wielding rogue. Other girl is a druid. Things are going alright, try to steal a wizards spell book.
>During fight, learn the rouge has to spend a round reloading his cross bow, won't use anything else. I laugh it off and tease him a bit about it.
>Druid girl has a friend that shows up, she wants to play.
>Hear horror stories about her. It's wont be so bad right? Just stories.
>Want's to be a rouge. I'm kind of against it and say politely that we already have one. She's like no, I'm a rouge too.
>Make it to a dungeon. Enter a room with narrow walk ways, falling off would drop you 30 feet into dark running water. See three treasure chests on a "island". Group debates getting it. I jump over gap and check them out.
>Call the rouges to check it out. Dude rouge is like, nah not about that. New female rouge jumps over too.
>You should check for traps.
>No it's ok, she opens a chest. Gold! Nice.
>DM says she is stuck to the chest.
>Try to get her unstuck, not happening. Druid notices little holes all over the walls in the room. Begins to hear noise getting louder.
>Not good, we got's to go.
> I open the other two chests with my sword, don't get stuck and take the loot.
>Blood sucking insects come out of the walls, latching on and draining our blood.
>I don't want to leave you, I can cut off your hand.
>Female rouge looks at me with disgust, "NO". Ask what she wants to do. She shrugs.
>Bye Felicia
>Leave her. Druid gets all pissed at me.
>Rogue whines about being killed like that.
>DM just lets her teleport out the room like nothing happened.

Man that pissed me off. I stopped playing soon after the rogue and druid pulled more stupid shit .
>>
>>49874189
Holy shit, did you kill the guy's dog or something?
>>
>>49874189
you already told this tale.
i remember it
>>
>>49874407
Half-orc barbarian. That's his whole background. I know.
>>
>>49874111
That's a really dumb reason not to try it. Half of these stories are made up and the other half represent a minority of actual experiences. The worst you're likely to run into is a boring group.
>>
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>>49873541
Plz respond I need to know
>>
>>49874474
No, I did literally nothing to him. I met him through other friends and we never were in the same circles but for that game, needless to say I never tried to meet him again.
>>
>>49874497
Yeah, I know, it's because is my worst gaming story by far, I hate myself for not leaving sooner and for not punching the guy at the end.
>>
>>49874189
>refuses to tell the players what kind of campaign it is
Why
A thousand times why
Why do people do this?
Why do they then act surprised when players are ill-prepared for the campaign??
It's almost as bad as GMs who just go "ok you start ona boat, opps the boat sunk there goes your equipment!"
>>
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>>49874342
(cont.)
>Fighter reasons that if this dullahan has no head, he can give it his dick head xDDD
>I converse with the dullahan, he proclaims he is searching for an eledrin that insulted the race of him and his kin
>If this wasn't an online game i would make eye contact with the dm and wink a sparkly wink
>Tell Dulla that maybe we can solve both our problems, then mid conversation cast blindness on our fighter
>Guy goes nuts, swinging his legendary necrotic sword around and insulting the parties ethnicities (this time in character behavior, so it's good, i guess)
>my character sheet happens to have hates dragonborn on it, despite being half dragonborn so i rp he hates being reminded he is a scalie, so i get mad in game, way angrier than in real life
>Shape up some stone darts, about to mozambique drill his ass with a sonic blast powered stone buckshot
>Roll absolute worst accuracy, blast rogues armor off
>rogue is not happy, spends the next few turns trying to rip the fighters armor off
>Dorf is trying to hit him like a normal person, rolling bad for the first time all session
>Try to buckshot him again,roll atrociously again and blast off dorfs armor and the rogues clothes
>Smile at the absurdity
>Fighter tries to roll around in the green muck while making flirtatious remarks at the rogue
>Smile fades into the aether
>Kobold and dire wolf tackle him to the ground and bind him, even the dm is trying to kill him at this point
>dorf breaks the bones in his right hand while the rogue hides in a bush because "I'm naked you godsdamned lizard"
>Decide to mace him in the face
>1 DMG
>He somehow rolls a 20 and breaks the spine of the wolf with one hand
>Dullahan is standing in the background the whole time, confused
>Eventually the rogue forms a contract with the dullahan, I crit heal the wolf and it turns into another fucking polt kobold, and the fighter is still alive because all of our rolls to kill or permanently immobalise him fuck up or just plain turn into 1s
>>
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>>49874566
>whisper to the dm if we are gonna kill or cripple him offscreen
>Maybe, maybe
>dm has a massive campaign planned for the weekend
>kanser the fighter may return to plague the world once more
And that's the end of my story so far, let's hope I don't have to come back in the next few days with fresh shit on a platter for you guys, because this is trying to put up with.
>>
>>49869062
A lot of DMs don't seem to understand how long distances work for some reason.

Had one game where we stole a pirate ship, then took about 3 months to sail one mile. The nearest town was 10 miles away, and we stole a pirate ship so we could sail right there instead of taking the much longer and convoluted land route.

We were also chased by another ship the entire time, and they were slightly faster than us, so it was a very slow, boring, 3 month chase that we couldn't possibly win.
>>
>>49874526
>half of these stories are made up
Yeah. Cause no one has ever played with a true That Guy, am I right? No. What would be the merit of posting entirely made up That Guy horror stories. Yes, most of these stories are embellished but they'd have to be at least partially true in order for these threads to have any reason to exist. Just fucking saying.
>>
>>49874620
To be fair, I left some details out of my story.
>>
>>49864812
I stole a puzzle from here that asked a math question in order to open a door during an android apocalypse. The trick was to ignore PEMDAS, making it an effective captcha, as a computer would follow it.

When my That Guy realized that was the answer, he threw the spergiest verbal tantrum I ever saw and upended my solid wood dining room table, snapping one of the legs, damaging multiple miniatures, books, glasses, an ornament, and injuring one of the players. After he stormed out, I called the police on him. He eventually did time for property damage and assault.

All because he was asked to do a simple math problem without PEMDAS.
>>
>>49874075
>5th level fighter destroys a legendary magical dagger
Motherfucker was stronk
>>
>post some stories or ask for help on /tg/
>everyone recommends I drop my group because the player and dm are assholes
>i have no friends so desperate and stick to it
>>
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>confrontation with local BBEG
>That Guy steps forth as someone else is talking
>challenges BBEG to a duel
>his terms are that ALL of us will leave the BBEG alone to work his evil schemes if That Guy loses
>no discussion of any of this beforehand
>he glares at me when I speak out against it IC
>>
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>>49874641
Motherfucker always gets a 20 when it is guaranteed to fuck the party over, I cannot fathom it.
>>
>>49872239
Is this your first time on the internet?

Native or not his story was completely coherent.
>>
>>49874620
>What would be the merit of posting entirely made up That Guy horror stories.
Are you new? Half the time, That Guy stories are like /tg/'s equivalent of "FUCKING GAMESTOP!"
>>
>>49874412
Wow...
A liar and a cunt.
That last part was real fucking disgusting of him.
>>
>>49872213
I had a blind character I played do that a bit, though I usually just focused on my stronger senses, like asking the DM about sounds and using my stronger sense of smell to track something.

Did come up as a joke a few times later on, like in the "Hah, I think you look fine pal" sense.
>>
>>49873379
I don't know what system you're playing, but there are some systems, like Hackmaster 4E, where your level up spells are randomly selected by RAW. It's also expected that you purchase more though between level ups.
>>
>>49874719
This is copypasta, dude.
>>
>>49874812
>Copypasta
As the guy who lived that and wrote it here, well, yes, I tend to post it here everytime there's a that guy/gm thread, or should I not post it?
>>
>>49874561
>>49874529
>>49874189
Argh, and this guy went to the specific trouble of allowing Scouts in his game from among a small number of hand-picked non-core classes.

But there's literally no way Scouts would be able to operate in this world. Scouts would quickly wise up and adopt a form of mobile combat more suited to taking on undead and constructs. The very game setting demands a variant Scout.

But even then, by not letting you contribute to trapfinding, and, you know, scouting, it seems he had simply set out to be an uber twat to you.
>>
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>>49872209
Fuck GMs who do this. Fuck those Disablers with a cactus sideways
>>
>>49874617
Too many folks ignore the overland / sea travel sections of those DM guides!
>>
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Had a dm who was thirsty as fuck

>group is 4 dudes and a chick
>all around level 4-7
>get into a port town where we're gonna stay for a few days, GM suggests we use our time wisely
>try to look for odd jobs to make money, end up in the bad side of town and the only job offer I get is to assassinate the mayor who by my knowledge check is a great fucking dude
>I'm NG so I don't take the job and end up doing a street performance with my wolf for basically change

>girl shows her cleavage in a tavern and gets a fist sized ruby appraised at 1000gold

>girl later gets a white robe of the archmage (something like that) which is some crazy magic item that does not belong to a level 4 character

Either way my dm was a douche, he quit like 3 groups in a Row as well
>>
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>>49872213
Just tell him to knock it off anon.

He might be an autist like us, so he doesn't even realize he's bothering you.
>>
>>49874171
yes
>>
>>49874171
Or as That GMs depending on his role.
>>
>>49872178
Underrated post
>>
>>49874831
He's a cunt for a large amount of reasons, yes, but I don't think he made the setting entirely to shit on my scout, I mean, it was already made before I even picked the character, I think that was bad luck on my part (or anyone who rolled a scout or a rogue to be honest), from that he was a twat though for not letting me reroll or throwing me a bone in the shape of swift hunter and for beign a passive aggresive cunt.
>>
>>49872209
depends on what you're playing, but I think that it's either:
A-the GM made you two powerful and doesn't know how to handle it , so he tries to bullshit his way through (the immunity to cheap iron could be overpowered to some extent)
B-The GM doesn't know how to balance encounters correctly
C-Gm is shit GM and believes in the "it's GM versus players" mindset
Honestly, the last one isn't so bad as long as it's played for roleplay (so, it's up for the PC to ensure that they don't find the macguffin)
>>
>>49872239
What's wrong with it ?
>>
>>49874566
>"I'm naked you godsdamned lizard"
your entire story was absurd but this quote made up for all of it
>>
>>49874823
You get less bitching if you post a screencap even though it's effectively the same thing. 4chan is autistic like that.
>>
>>49874972
I'm puzzled at the part where he doesn't think "Right, so we've got a character who for mechanical reasons is ineffective in the majority of the combats in this campaign. But the player has also made the effort to pick up some key non-combat roles such as being the spotter and the trapfinder of the party. So, let's give him some interesting non-combat challenges that should prove difficult but nonetheless doable for such a character."

It's just, arghhh... Well, it's just a great example of how not to be a GM. I mean, I'd have made overcoming your inability to hurt constructs and undead a reward part of the campaign. Your character could have been an outlander not used to fighting them, for example, but picks up an appropriate fighting style from a group of leprotic dervishes. Such a waste of potential!
>>
>>49872516
That is quite the descriptive filename
>>
>>49875197
It's like somebody rolled a 20 for Perception in a system that grants you one additional descriptive adjective per point over target.
>>
>>49874638
That's insane
>>
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>Playing a game
>Best friend playing CN rogue, i'm playing a CG wizard
>Run into a cult sacrificing people for blood to summon a demon to end the world
>I want to kill them on sight unless we're undercover (we are for some parts of the campaign)
>"But they might be good guys, and they sound like good people some of them!"
>"They literally support a cult with the goal to end the world i do not see how this is up for debate"
>I'm a pyromancer, so i start the fight off putting the all the enemies on fire
>The same spell also leaves a trail of fire to my character
>On his turn, he throws gas at me
>The gas ignites, putting me and the ground around me on fire
>He runs away

God fucking dammit he's obnoxious sometimes. He's my best friend, but it sucks hard to play RP games with him.
>>
>>49875147
Even if everything went right, due prerequisite reasons I wouldn't be able to hurt Constructs and Undead till 5th level.
>>
>>49874893
>>49874904

>Playing DnD
>Homebrew setting, lots of magical stuff floating around.
>Rogue gets a scaled down steel golem, whose cost represents roughly 50% of his overall wealth.
>Not as strong as a real party member, but a backeup melee distraction. Personally I didn't think it was the best use of resources, but it was hardly an objectively dumb move.
>Get involved in this guild war
>Enemy guild head has some knowledge of our capabilities, and because we're accompanied by this steel clanking machine, he gets his hands on some rust monsters.
>Big enchilada fight goes down, and baddie sics his rust monsters on our golem, which is destroyed.
>Enter our That Guy Sorc player.
>Tells the rogue, in all seriousness and tries to persuade him for 5-10 minutes, that his character should kill himself.
>Why? Because he just lost a tremendous amount of money, and if he dies, his new guy will have the standard wealth by level, which would make him less of a liability, plus we'd get to hock all of his current equipment, even if it's sub-par.
>>
>>49875970
For metagaming GM I meant shit like an ex-GM did
>Roll intimidation after using a ki fire power in 5e to make random crooks get scared: "I can do this all day...so if you can't stand the heat don't get near the over"
>Random crook says "Nah, you are out of ki points"
And other shit like that like "you're out of spells" etc
Srly, ki points and spell slots are simplifications, characters ingame don't have a pool of resources, you can't also pinpoint the exact level of a guy and say "you have 4 ki points and used this feature 4 times therefore you're out of them", that's fucking metagaming even if you're the GM
>>
>>49875851
>he's playing CN
>you're playing CG
>he's the one saying "wait they might be good"
wat
>>
>>49876023
What an asshat.
I'd at least let you do a deception roll if you were out of ki.
>>
>>49873843
>out of all of them the problem is a rouge
>Being suprised that player of a spiderabmination of a race full of assholes is that guy.
What?
>>
>>49874610
Just beat the shit out of him and get him to fuck off already. If his shitting around is detracting from everyone's experience then there's literally 0 reason for him to be with your group.
>>
>>49876023
>Srly, ki points and spell slots are simplifications,
In Forgotten Realms spell slots are literally divine mandate from the God of Magic.
>>
>>49870882
I've had this happen before. Playing a decent human being next to a CN murderhobo can give a weird perspective to the game as a whole.
>Playing LG fighter with a bunch of other generic adventurer hooligan randoms from the store, apparently some of us were paying off a debt to society by headed North the clear out a cave of some monster.
>It was pretty vague on that part, we were shuffled out of the city within seconds of the game starting without proper directions or anything more than a finger pointing and "Go kill the shit"
>Within a few hundred feet of the city walls, weak, poorly equipped bandits spring from hiding
>The slaughter begins
>I start taking the penalties to deal nonlethal and bash these guys up with the brunt of my sword. It hurts my hit rolls and slows down combat.
>Eventually my "companions" have murdered a bunch of these desperate vagrants and are eyeing up my targets, completely baffled by my fighting style in character and out
>A few turns after everyone else, the rolls went shit so I took some cuts, but I tie up my foes and leave them safely hanging from a tree, and leave a note describing their crimes for the city guard
>Other players start discussing using them as a pinata for swords, whether they get experience and full loot for living enemies
>As if that matters in a one-shot
The game didn't end up in player confrontation or anything terrible but it was certainly odd seeing both ends of the spectrum so close.
>>
>>49876394
>Don't make me use power attack on you, fool
>You can't, you don't have bab +1
>Shieet
>>
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>playing with a group who knows nothing about each other
>we have the rouge who is a utter faggot
>stealing things from us constantly
>he probably siphoned thousands of gold from us
>I catch him stealing from me
>threaten to bash his knife eared ass in the face if he does it again
>THAT SAME SESSION HE TRIES TO CUT MY BEARD OFF
>pass my check to wake up
>pass another check to immediately ready my weapon and smash his face in
>his character tries to get me to stop
>my beard is half cut off
>there is no stopping a pissed off dorf
>he throws a hissy fit, I ended up getting voted off the island because "well, he wasn't going to actually harm your character, and you just outright killed him
I still don't feel bad about my actions to this day.
>>
>>49864812
itt things that never happened.
>>
>>49873500
>player who doesn't roleplay or barely roleplays sighs and calls another character edgy when they talk down to enemies

I do this
>>
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>>49876747
>>
>>49876729
nor should you feel bad
>>
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>dm always bugging me to play d&d
>asks in front of new girlfriend
>she used play with her dad so get dragged along
>two player game
>spend an hour making characters then another doing menial labor like moving carts and stuff before making an excuse to get out of there.
tfw I was the dm tfw they never played tabletop again.
>>
>>49872372
holy shit that sounds like something that happened in one of my games

except he walked up to an invading army

and the wizard had to get him out through Dimension Door.
>>
>>49874315
Why wait?
>>
>>49874028
We Welsh prefer the softer sheep. Goats are tough yo.
>>
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>That one player who acts out his reacdtions with his hands while remaining in his sit
>Always does without saying a word or with exaggerated noises
>GM always has to ask him afterwards what the fuck that meant
>The party cringes internally
>>
>>49874154
This warms my icy heart greatly
>>
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>>49874189
Tell me again why you thought that going to a game where the GM doesn't tell you squat about what is going on was a good idea?
>>
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>>49874342
>>
>>49864812
I once, as a favor to a friend, joined a group of tabletop novices so he, the GM, could try and teach them the basics of the game while I helped from the player side.

I went CG barbarian, because, well, fuck it. Might as well get my Boisterous Martial time in; that being said, I bought a few low level potions so I could also assist should we turn out to not have a cleric or bard.

It worked out well for most of the, except for one person: she, I shit you not, made a CE Drow rogue who, over the course of a single session, tried to poison me, steal my money, steal a ring of Dex bolstering from me that I literally gave away when asked for it, and finally tried to kill the party (starting with my Barbarian).

My character was the forgiving type; he had ended up deactivating most of the traps in the dungeon with his face, had just taken a max damage critical from a zombie ogre a few hours earlier, and was getting the distinct feeling he was exiting the dungeon with less money and resources than he had started with, but, hey, he was with friends.

Cue this little twit stabbing him in his sleep but dealing minimum damage. He made his save, and, finally, there was rage.

I didn't kill the Drow; instead, I continued my education to the players by forcefeeding the drow enough dirt per round to constitute 1
Nonlethal damage per turn, and the game ended with us dragging a character off to jail.

Everyone but the Drow's player loved it.
>>
>>49876394
Eew.
>>
>>49877793
Thats rich
>>
>>49877793

Of course that is a thing that happens with new players
>They like getting items
>If they play a rogue, they want to BE A THIEF
>If they are board game players, it is ingrained that others are opponents.

Let the normies vent; it will be one horrid session and ease them into being a team. Worked for me several times.
>>
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>join a new PF group.
>DM immediately railroads my character into raping a hermaphrodite npc within 20 minutes of starting the game.
>DM doesn't understand why I never went to another game since then.
>>
One player falls asleep when it's not his turn and literally cannot make complex choices (like should you use magic missile or web on the goblin running at you) to the point that he has to play but dumb melee combatants or else he'll just sit there repeating "uh, uh, uh" for five minutes trying to decide what to do.
>>
>>49878379
>>join a new PF group.
>>DM immediately railroads my character into raping a hermaphrodite npc within 20 minutes of starting the game.
I'm sorry, can you please fill in the gaps of how you got from a to b? How? Why?
>>
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>>49878551
So he introduces an npc that is a hermaphrodite.
My character is a barbarian.
I don't remember the exact details because it was about a year and a half ago.
Anyway, we meet the npc in a cave to give us the mission and the npc and my character slip on a puddle or something with apparently my dick going into the hermaphrodite's ass.
>>
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>>49871894
>>
>>49876877
Stop it.
>>
>>49875970
If I was GM'ing this and heard that I would tell the player that his next character would be level 1.
>>
>>49876877
Kill yourself irl.
>>
>>49878621
Sounds like your DM should watch less anime.
>>
>>49879310
He's also the kind of weirdo who ONLY plays female characters in videogames. I dunno about you but those kind of people are always a little bit weird.
>>
>>49879215

It's certainly a way of dealing with it, but when you've got a party of mid to high levels and they just got a level one attached to them, it often means that party balance is shot to hell and back.
>>
>>49878621
Sounds legit.
Happens all the time.
>>
>Playin AD&D with friends
>Level 2 Mage with a weasel familiar, level 2 cleric of lawfulness, level 2 fighter who doesn't give a shit, and a level 3 rogue who doesn't steal from anyone the party likes (including the party).
>Investigating ghost ship sightings
>Through roleplaying we find out where the sighting are.
>Rogue manages to convince a whaling ship to bring us aboard so we can get close to the sighting location.
>Three hours and four successful sea sickness saves later...
>Ghost ship appears out of thin air and now we have to dodge cannon fire.
>Now we're being boarded by skeleton pirates (which the fighter and cleric are keeping at bay).
>Mage just dissapears after handing a note to the GM.
>Rogue is earning wages just trying to kill skeletons so the rest of the crew doesn't die.
>Crew doesn't have any weapons and refuse to fight for their lives because "DM: They're whalers not pirates".
>Mage still gone, party starting to think he ran away.
>Mage comes out of nowhere sprinting, holding about two dozen bottles of heavy rum, and has his weasel familiar holding on with a lit lantern in its mouth.
>He casts Jump and makes it across to the ghost ship.
>Fails to smash the bottles on the ghost ship's deck due to low strength. GM says that glass was a lot thicker back then.
>Weasel gets killed in one (un)lucky hit and Mage died instantly from backlash of losing a familiar (permanently lose twice the familiar's hp total).
>Party has to retreat to the lower decks but the skeletons keep coming no matter what they tried, including barricades.
>Cleric runs out of heals.
>Fighter and rogue try to get the crew to help defend themselves but apparently a Nat 16 and a convincing speech isn't enough to get people to defend themselves from certain death.
>Rogue and cleric die.
>Fighter dies
>Crew is slaughtered
>Ship sinks
>TPK
>GM: maybe you should have prepared better or tried something besides standing there and attacking. Now roll up some level 1 characters.
>>
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>campaign takes place in one small city and its surroundings
>level 1 characters looking at a world map
>one asks the resident guide NPC about a landmass 18,000 miles away
>barely gets any information because it's thousands of miles beyond relevance and only a skilled explorer would know anything more than the basics
>WE NEED TO SAIL THERE!
>>
>>49879582
Why did the players have access to the world map though?
>>
>>49874344
Hey I get that reference
>>
>>49879581
>>Fails to smash the bottles on the ghost ship's deck due to low strength. GM says that glass was a lot thicker back then.
Why? Why would you penny and dime against someone's creative problem solving by pulling out whammies they would have noticed before trying something?
>>
>>49874120
How fuck8ng long have you ben coming to this site m8?!?!?
>>
>>49872239
Reads fine to me
>>
>>49869185
>Not telling the queen wizard of the crazy vietnam vet's plot against her.
>Not rallying the entire city full of wizards to kick that guy's ass.
>Not expirencing his rant and explosive tantrum that ends in him leaving the group.
Good on you for a peaceful solution, but damn that would have made a good story.
>>
>>49865823
Replace "weaker than they" with "disagreed with their beliefs" and you have The Crusades all over again. A lot closer to that than ISIS in my opinion.
>>
>>49866189
Have you considered that you perhaps were supposed to run away from said enemy?
>>
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>>49864812
From an old PF game

>Be a Dwarf Soulforger Magus
>trying to enter castle
>Manage to bluff and say we're refugees coming here to pay respects to a fallen friend, don't want no trabble, etc.
>Captain thinks this is reasonable enough to let us in
>Except for me. He takes me inside the guard tower, time for a private session
>Party is off doing stuff, I'm in the guard tower with Captain, bit nervous
>Maybe he saw through things? Maybe that Bluff check didn't pass?
>Meet Alex the Androgynous Elf
>Our group's That Guy, but a very mild variety.
>he's one of those super manly brawlers though
>he hires a separate thief to find out my gender
>Touches things
>"Wait, are you attracted to human females or mares?"
>Nothing happens because ain't got no ranks to know that
>There is, however, a catch.
>I give him a gold piece
>step outside
>Fucker is completely worthless, makes everyone mad.
>party gets to the boss
>big ass ogre swinging and club around, people gettin fuckt left and right
>Ogre shows up, I get a crit and a regular hit
>druids turn comes up, he can heal the monk and save his life
>The ogre has never killed anyone
>Dumbest
>Weakest
>Flattest
>Game plan: Get wings, let's flap really hard!
>facepalm.jpg
>Forgot about the ogre
>a huge amount of Ogres and a literal harem of corrupted mind controlled wives.
>Game plann: anti-ogre bomb
>powerful attack hurts more than it ought to.
>bueno.jpg
>ogre tribes will go berserk
>we promptly run up a staircase.
>literally hot on our heels
>we barely escaped that keep.
>mfw
>>
>>49880805
What?
>>
>>49880805
...Are you having a stroke?
Do you want us to call emergency services?
>>
>>49880805
Did I get pasta'd?
>>
>>49880805

You okay pal?
>>
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>>49880805
On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?
>>
>>49874697
I assume it's more "new to 4chan" than new to the tubes.
>>
>>49880805
Can someone please translate this?
>>
>>49880805
Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
>>
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>>49880805
>Game plan: Get wings, let's flap really hard!
>facepalm.jpg
>Forgot about the ogre
>>
>>49881393
>>49881333
>>49881272
>>49881165
>>49881136
>>49881124
>>49880960
>>49880918
This poor son of a bitch probably lives in Uzbekistan and is using google translate to try and make you smile so pls no bully
>>
>>49871894
Is he mocking your attempts at roleplaying or does he just genuinely find it funny?
>>
>>49880805
This hurt to read.
I need to go lie down now.
>>
>>49874033
>>49873968
I love how you got advantage, yet still failed to spell different correctly.
>>
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>>49880805
>he hires a separate thief to find out my gender
>Touches things
>"Wait, are you attracted to human females or mares?"
>Nothing happens because ain't got no ranks to know that
>>
>>49880805
What?
>>
>>49872209
That barrels one is vaguely legit. I wouldn't bother describing every last detail of every meaningless interaction my players have with every npc everywhere. Perhaps everytime they have meaninglessly paused and checked the cart, it has just not been worth mentioning. Ooooor maybe today their supervisor is posted with them and they are actually having to do work by the book.

first 3 are pretty shit tho
>>
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>>49868067
Is he literally retarded?
>>
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>>49880918
>>49880960
>>49881124
>>49881136
>>49881165
>>49881272
>>49881333
>>49881393
>>49881415
>>49881479
>>49881729
>>49881804
>all these newfags falling for an old pasta
shaking my head, to be honest, family member.

>mfw
>>
>>49881984
>i s4s post and get called a newfag
ill have you know ive been here all summer!
>>
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>>49882033
I can't argue with those dubs!
>>
>>49880068
That reminds me when a DM made us get high off hemp rope when we used it as a makeshift torch.
>>
>>49869418
I joined a Roll20 game. We had a player join soon thereafter, massive faggot who played a Bard-Paladin Mary Sue. I called him out on it a few times and his response was "Yeah, I'm playing a Mary Sue lol" with a shit-eating grin.

Needless to say, I dropped that campaign quick.
>>
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>MY NAME IS LUCIFER AND I'M A HALF ORC BARBARIAN!

This was three months ago, playing 3.5. It actually got really fun and we're still playing. The guy is now known as the Door Disintegrator and fists pounding the table can be heard shouting, "CLEAVE, CLEAVE, CLEAVE" while he rolls crits left and right. DM's fantastic and it feels good to classic murder-hobo with a new player.
>>
>>49874638
I can't believe I was there for that story. Wasn't that the same thread where a DM threw high level stem problems at a bunch of fantasy characters because he knew their players could solve them?
>>
>>49868067
This just bothers the hell out of me. How hard is it to learn to exploit poor wording in peoples' wishes? "I want a mountain of gold!" Okay, I hope the fact that it's the collected treasuries of all the most powerful nations in the world is okay with you.

"I want a magic sword!" Straight from the vaults of a monastic order famed for being capable of kicking your ass, sword or no sword.

"I want the hand of the princess in marriage!" Oh, good, I don't have to give you a bloody stump. The princess is now madly in love with you, and she's betrothed herself to you. I have to wonder, aloud, how the king will take it, though.

>>49871873
I prefer Blowjob Genie logic. You get one wish, but if it's not to suck my dick I'll cut your legs off.

Mostly because you can just abuse it using bargaining wishes. "I wish you'd trade me [x thing I want] for sucking your dick."
>>
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>WHFRP2e
>First game of tabletop RPGs that stuck
>The GM and I...did not have a good past.
>Mostly because his reaction to me acting depressed when my dad died was 'get over it, stop being a bitch'
>Been two years, fuck it, whatevs
>Literally never looked into Warhammer Fantasy so I do world research
>Find out it's brutally dark
>Make a 90 year old expatriate elf, left his clan after some elves tortured him and they didn't do shit
>Ask if I can use my starter gold to buy a whip before the first session because I want it to be a prized possession of sorts
>Nah wait til the first session
>His DMPC knight-errant struts up on a 1000 gold bretonnian warhorse in the first session 'because it makes sense for him to have it'
>World's supposed to be brutal to go through alone so I have him scarred to shit, really raspy sore throat voice because he almost had his throat ripped out
>Constantly called edgy.
>Try to characterize him by saying he served in the military recently
>"Edgy"
>Reveal bits of why he hates his fellow elves
>"Edgy"
>Ask for opportunities to push his character development in certain ways
>"Not my job to give you character development"
>Suddenly, a bunch of Bretonnian refugees show up and he gets bad-mouthed, supposedly pushing him down a path to being a better person
>Well it didn't because he roleplays the character as hostile to almost everyone except his ooc friends' characters
>Use a whip and get a lucky hit on a boss, killing it when it's almost dead
>Group goes into a treasure room filled with goodies for literally ALL EIGHT OTHER PCs (yes there were 8 other PCs including GMPC)
>"Is there some plate armor in here?"
>"Yes but [his GMPC] got to it first."
>Expect something else nice for me, decide to wait it out.
>Ask what's there for me
>"Oh, I guess you find this cube."
>The cube makes you go insane if you fail to solve it
>Well I get driven insane. Coolbeans.
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>>49882683
>Find out that the GM improvved me finding that because I asked what loot was there for more too much (twice) and because he thought I hacked a dice rolling site to cheat
>Find out there's also something awesome coming up apparently just for me
>It's a gun that, while flavored to look very cool and is as good as a dwarf gun should be, also doesn't let me aim it properly because I'm not a dwarf
>"...well okay."
>Character has a phobia of wolves because he'd almost had his throat ripped out.
>"Edgy."
>Got worse when the GM's best friend's girlfriend got a wolf through rolls her boyfriend made when she fell asleep mid-session
>Understandably hated this wolf in-character. Scared of it, threatening to kill it if it goes near him
>GM's best friend climbs aboard the edgy train
>Eventually say 'fuck it', decide to make a new character and kill off this one.
>He's a dwarf. Actually well liked because he's a jolly old engineer santa clause who was mildly a psychopath
>Roll stats for him, they're garbage
>GM's best friend (and co-GM) encourages me to roll another set and he'll talk to his friend about letting me keep them
>"No, bad stats make things interesting"
>Eh whatevs. Salty but not gonna argue
>Every other career I try to go into gets denied on the grounds of 'it doesn't fit'
>Try to go into captain, mostly for stats, saying it's clear that people respect his opinion as much as the GM's best friend's character
>"...no they don't."
>Suddenly has his GMPC disregard every suggestion this dwarf makes
>Eventually grow tired of playing what amounts up to a fluffer for the rest of the party
>Had good times but I want to make someone who can have a reaction other than 'D'aw these cute little manlings' to everything
>Get to a point where the character can be shelved for later use
>Create a wizard
>Beginning of the end.
>>
>>49882674

Wish for limbs that grow back.
>>
>>49874617
3 months to sail 1 mile!?

Was he aware that if sailing were really that slow the Mayflower would've taken 687 years and six months to cross the Atlantic?
>>
>>49882783
post faster
>>
>>49882817

you know how have 5 arms and a leg sticking out of your back
>>
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>>49882783
>Recently watched Fellowship of the Ring
>Notice Gandalf didn't really use magic all that much.
>Say this fellow is a younger wizard and not keen on becoming like the wizard lords of the Celestial college.
>Granted, by younger I mean thirty.
>Note warhammer has some pre age of exploration vibes going, guns becoming prominent
>Partly inspired by the spellslinger from pathfinder and partly by a picture of a dude casting a spell through a gun, I negotiate my way into him having a magic gun
>"Edgy edgy edgy! The point of magic is that it counters technology!"
>"Uhm...but..."
>"EDGY."
>This fellow was sold up the creek by his father, a wealthy Marienburg merchant who didn't like his vision for the future of his merchant clan
>"EDGY."
>Was searching for his lover, a kindred soul who he hasn't seen in a long time, supposedly lost in a foreign land
>He believed her sold as an exotic slave to try and loosen up some noble in the country they were going to
>EDGY
>"I mean, it's tacky but it's heartfelt and gives him a good in with this group of do-gooders."
>"YOU'RE BREAKING THE LORE!"
>Try to hide being a wizard from the group for a while because I know what it's going to become when they find out.
>Guess what happens when he eventually tells them.
>"WITCH WITCH WITCH WITCH WITCH" by the DMPC every 5 seconds
>Mind you, this guy was from a country he'd neighbored so this wizard tried to be nice to him
>Made him tea once, tried to chill with him and make it clear he was an officially trained wizard who didn't even like magic
>"Naw fuck you WITCH WITCH WITCH"
>Get to explore his blatant anger issues through a dragon spirit trapped in a staff he makes
>"It's very clear he's just lying to the dragon about being angry."
>"Yeah cause a 5'1" manlet with strength and toughness in the 20's would sure express how much he was pissed off at a bunch of buff dudes in armor."
>"Just my opinion man, ya made an edgy guy."

Kinda glad he kicked me and my pal sometimes.
>>
>>49882817
Got a problem with sucking dicks there, anon? I wouldn't know it from looking at you.
>>
>>49873843
I understand your anger,and you're in the right but:
>rouge
Fuck off anon-kun
>>
>>49882357
I don't see what's wrong if everyone's having fun,why are you here friend?
>>
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>>49882911
And if you're curious about why I got kicked

>GM used this merchant dude to railroad us, sort of inspired by master-blaster
>Now, you'd think he'd use this guy to create party cohesion and get people in easily
>Guess what happens every time someone makes a new guy and they talk to him, who is the boss.
>"Oh, you're going on this expedition to a foreign land. Can I come along?"
>"Do you want to get paid?"
>"Well...yes?"
>"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA nope"
>Only reason new PCs don't fuck off immediately, consequently, is that their players know that the story follows this caravan
>So my guy actually tries to haggle with him, as he's supposed to be more of a face than a wizard.
>"Ha. Nope. Fuck you." Even though I beat him on a haggle roll.
>Travel along because he has other reasons to go with these guys, namely his girl.
>But he does really start to like the people he's traveling with because they're all lost souls in this foreign land on this adventure for the merchant guy
>Merchant guy seems scummy as fuck
>My guy knows he can do merchant stuff fairly well, proves it in-character to multiple people.
>The merchant DMPC magically knows, comes up to him and says "I have a plan to deal with you."
>Well...he just told a threat to a very paranoid guy.
>Realize that, due to the character I'd made, I could keep the game going even if this douchebag died and the party would be better for it
>So, since it clearly seems he had a plan to kill or imprison my character, my character talked every PC not controlled by him, his best friend, or the best friend's gf into helping him
>Plot gets stopped 5 minutes in
>YOU TRIED TO RUIN MY STORY. WE'VE SPENT YEARS BUILDING THIS FOR YOU GUYS. YOU'RE OUT OF THE CAMPAIGN.
>Later find out the dude just made an empty threat and was banking on the wizard just dying

And that's how me and my best friend got kicked from our first campaign.
>>
>>49869761
Ranta is literally
That Guy -> This Guy
He's the reason I almost dropped the beginning, and the entire reason I'm so stoked for season 2
>>
Folks who try to be "god wizards" but in actuality just wind up being able to only being able to either temporarily debuff a single baddie for maybe a round until they get a half-decent save, or blanket the entire map with fog, stinking clouds, and environmental crap that winds up limiting the party just as much as the opponents.

That would not be quite worth of That Guy status on it's own, but when they then want to act like they are the masters of the battlefield and take credit for every favorable outcome while blaming every mistake on something else that gets to me. Eh, I guess in that way they are in fact like a god.
>>
>>49883366
So, people that have no idea how to optimize and properly play a wizard, then? The ones that think that it's really as simple as, "play wizard, break game?"

Yeah, that person really kinda sucks.
>>
>>49883366
>dislikes people taking credit for things they didn't contribute much to
>blames it on wizards because he drank the /tg/ coolaid
>>
>>49864812
>start running a game of Ravenloft
>the party consists of a wizard, a thief, a ranger and a paladin
>the ranger's backstory is that he's looking for his girlfriend who was taken by demons
>talks about how devoted he is to her
>tries to sleep with any NPC regardless of their gender, race or attitude towards the party
>still talks about how devoted he is to his girlfriend and how upset he'll be at me out-of-character if he doesn't get her back by the end of the campaign
>>
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>>49874875
I had a dm like that once, worked out for me though because I was sleeping with the girl he was lusting after so she exploited him to my advantage,

>rules light d20 modern/near future homebrew thing
>i'm playing a generic fighter/warrior type dude, girl is playing an android, other two party members are a psion and a chemist
>we're all pretty creative players, so with a system that's light on rules we were constantly bombarding the dm with questions about what we could and couldn't do
>chemist wanted to make bombs and poison nerve gas and stuff, psion wanted to do an astral projection type thing to spy on people, etc
>dm shoots the former two down, but the android can do whatever she wants, including but not limited to building my character a set of powered armor and the equivilant of a gundam seed anti-ship sword from scratch
>I'm basically a Giantdad at this point and start making my ass of myself and spouting memes and stuff as I cleave through everything thrown at me
>dm finally gets so fed up with me because of my antics and because he realizes I'm cucking him, he tries to kill me by bringing down an entire skyscraper down ontop of me
>the legend never dies though, and I somehow survive deep into negative hp because of the structural integrity of the powered armor and because of the auto-doc its equipped with
>never dms for the group again and we play vtm instead starting the next week
>>
>>49883366
Hm, I think I may end up being that particular flavour of That Guy if I don't bother learning how to wizard over the next few levels, I took specialty school conjuration and forbade evocation & enchantment.
I'm meant to be roleplaying a complete coward who doesn't dare kill anything himself so he has a grab-bag of non-lethal crowd control and summons to actually do the dirty work.
>>
>>49870666
I know Satan, it's amazing how much you can get away with when you're anonymous. I can reply to my own post without anyone noticing!
>>
>>49883614
Like right now?
>>
>>49883630
Or now?
>>
>>49883630

Yeah, like right now!

... oh goodness, I truly am autistic.
>>
>>49883653
But not now!
>>
>>49865823
Yeah thats exactly the Crusades.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIs5B2U7US0&list=PLKk8OVRiLGsetWY3IfX31bPxXhts6p_GX
>>
There was a sort of a time when I sort of became that guy IC through shitty rolls:

>DnD3.5
>Chaotic Good Half Orc Fighter who's tryna redeem himself from being a formerly evil merc
>Typical "everybody meets at a bar setting"
>The NPC cleric that's supposed to jump start the quest comes walking in
>Roll for Sense Motive to figure out who this new guy is (plus also only put points into Sense Motive and Intimidate)
>Natural 1
>Think he's the evilest motherfucker
>Chaotic Good + low cognitive stats meaning that cleric's getting a double legged takedown
>Scene ends up becoming Ultimates 1 when the rest of the Ultimate Universe Avengers are trying to take down the Hulk while the Hulk basically wards them all off and continues to smash until the Hulk does get stopped (me being the equivalent of Hulk here)
>Based DM somehow still finds a way for everyone to begrudgingly accept me (though the NPC cleric had to be killed later since there's no way my character was gonna leave him alive for long)

>Some sessions later defeat undead guys at Mausoleum
>bouta pick up some goodies from the bottom
>Natural 1 sense motive roll on party Rogue
>Very successful intimidate roll and take all his money/share of goodies
>Rogue hates me in character (but does end up much later stealing the stuff and more back from me)

>meet Orcish allies a few sessions later
>Natural 1 intimidation roll to become their leader
>Other half orc caster chick in our party somehow manages to succeed the roll
>manages to succeed in PHYSICAL CLOSE RANGE battle with me since all my rolls went to hell
>Character now going full Lorgar from 40k tier dickbag
>Next time there is a battle, doesn't protect her since I am main guy who takes the hits
>Half Orc caster chick hates me in character

>Not enough space in this post but later I make the rest of the other two party members mad by trying to mess with a Lich and killing the half elf party member's bf due to bad rolls
>>
Oh and since I didn't post an actual That Guy story, the real That Guy shit that pisses me off is when people don't concede out of character in terms of what's happening to them in character.

Was in an IRC MES VTM LARP event thing where peeps were chilling but our IC higher ups set up an event for us lowbies to get a certain amount of an item. I managed to successfully Presence this one girl who got a bunch of them into giving them to me. She begged OOC for me to not take them. Moderator of the RPS determining success didn't say shit, so I let her have them...then won the little "competition" anyway through other means.

>>49883366
This was me in my first ever PnP romp. Was Lasombra in a VTM game. Had no clue what I was doing. But my big cool moment was when in my stupidity I pissed off a Keeper of Elysium, but then the shadow shield protection thing they can do ACTUALLY STOPPED the Keeper's attack despite there being like a less than 10% chance it would work.

>>49874171
>>49872209
>>49866189
Is it wrong for me to try to meta it up a little whenever I have a GM that does shit like where enemies are often far stronger than the player and they use tactics that are sorta metagaming from the GM? Went wizard for a Pathfinder game while other guys played stuff like Ninja or Samurai. I was the main guy doing most of the stuff in the battles where everyone else would be incapacitated at one point while I am flying far up in the air tryna figure shit out or Magic Jarring a leader so we don't have to fight impossible numbers.
>>
>>49883390
You sum it up pretty well, yeah.
>>
>>49883598
As shitty as it seems to ruin someone's game, playing as Giantdad in a tabletop sounds fun as hell honestly.
>>
>>49883599
Honestly, I wouldn't mind something like that if its a fun or interesting character like Rincewind. Just don't act like your Gygax's gift to the initiative order and threaten to "forget" to not have the party in your AoE range when they don't hang your every word, like he does.
>>
>>49884464
Oh fuck no, I need my party in one piece, if I don't help them where I can, all the other fuckos can get to me.
I'm pretty much saving the summons as an "oh fuck" button too so I can play at the same level as the newer players without taking any limelight from them.
Although I still don't understand the full melee sorcerer.
>>
>>49883084
Jesus your DM seemed like a complete git
>>
>>49872378
Walked right into that...
>>
>>49884106
You don't get to roll sense motive or intimidate against PCs.
>>
>>49884743
rules arent real bro theyre just made up haha
>>
>>49884750
No stupid, using a ROLL is using rules.
You should have RP'D the intimidation and the sense motive against fellow PCS you really are That Guy.
>>
>>49884795
why are u so mad dude
>>
>>49878551
It was a PF group man nuff said.
>>
>>49880805
... i think i need to do a san check
>>
>>49872885
this
3.PF's obsession with giving specific rules for everything is the cancer that's killing TTRPGs
>>
>>49874526
>Half of these stories are made up and the other half represent a minority of actual experiences. The worst you're likely to run into is a boring group.

I've literally never played with a group that wasn't made up of mostly immature sexist assholes but I'm fresh out of high school and live in the rural Midwest so take my anecdote with a grain of salt I guess
>>
>>49885106
But anon, if one guy has only boring experiences, it means that nothing else ever happens to others.

It is a *fact!
>>
>>49876394
Well Forgotten Realms is a shit setting so
>>
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>Playing Only War (If you don't know, it's 40k RPG, where you play as the scrawny guardsmen instead of the Space Marines.)
>GM mentions something about daemons on the planet, but says that they are mostly contained to the north tip of the continent.
>Off-handedly mentions silver-armored Space Marines fighting them.
I should've known right there.
>ANYWAY, the 3 of us board a Leman Russ Punisher we named Lemon Russ due to the myriad of mechanical issues we've dealt with over the seessions.
>riding north-west to hit the flank of a factory making ammo for the chaos cult that took it over.
>We cycle the barrels, top off the oils, make sure all the ammo is secure, establish a link to the rest of the tanks
>Lemon's targeting augurs start showing false-positives on the screen
>The internal magazine begins to ooze oil and a foul-smelling odor.
I knew it was Nurgle shit, but my character couldn't have known that, so I say nothing. Rest of party later confirms they also knew it was Nurgle, but they also said nothing for the same reasons.
>The gunner decides he's had enough computers, takes a bit of termite and melts a hole into the turret to aim with
>First thing he sees is a 10 foot tall pale as fuck old man carrying a scythe, murdering the silver guys with every sweep.

Will continue if there's interest
>>
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>>49885159
It's a that guy thread and you haven't even reached the that guy part. Continue or I'll bite your nose off.
>>
>>49869482
You are compelled to return.
>>
>>49880068
I will never understand the mentality of putting rules before narrative and fun

>>49882083
this is hilarious
>>
>>49885159
>gunner shouts to driver to shift power from the lights and computers to the turrets and engine.
>we didn't have sponsons, only a hull-mounted heavy flamer out the front that was prone to not working because we didn't have promethium and had to use the petrol we put in the tank. Which worked out, we didn't have enough men to all have a gun and still do our jobs.
>Gunner and Driver begin to track targets that are described as "those worms that cause bleeding and infect corpses outside the Cathedral of the Deep. Also they have power armor.
>the Punisher begins to mulch them. Torrents of bullets drown the Plague Marines and they fall apart like rotten apples thrown against a barn.
>we eventually burn and shred our way to the area where we say the scythe guy.
Yes, it was Mortarion. We were never told this at the time, but was confirmed later.
>we kill his drones and marines while the silver dudes fight him and batter him back into the Warp Rift that formed in the sky.
>Lemon Russ is destroyed afterwards, her hull was rotting with Nurgle shit and we didn't want the machine spirit to suffer
This is when it's revealed that my friend was actually part of the silver guys, who were obviously Grey Knights.

>"CONGRATS, MORTALS. YOU HELPED US STEF THE TIDE OF CHAOS. YOU WILL FOR EVERY BEEN KNOWN AS THE BRAVEST MEN OF YOUR PLANET."
>Oh, ok cool. We got the pat on the back from a space marine. This is actually really cool, maybe he can get us a new tank to go to Armaged-
>My friend, in his infinite inability to understand that we don't like starting new campaigns every month, cuts the entire party in half with one stroke of his force halberd.
Everyone is silent for what feels like ages. This was the end result of 3 months actual time of playing the same characters and story. 3 months of buidling a narrative, of actually getting to make jokes about how shitty Lemon was.

All that, because he heard Grey Knights killed ALL witnesses. Despite us not being corrupted.
>>
>>49885277
Apologies for typos, my screen is cracked and my thumbs like pressing more buttons than they should. Also auto correct is a cancer
>>
>>49872314
Oh I didn't think to mention but the guy's about 6'5" and built like a brick shithouse irl so threatening to punch him wasn't the best of ideas.
>>
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>>49885277
Tell your friend that he is a colossal abhorent putrid vile cunt and that he needs to shove both fists down his own mouth.
>>
>>49885354
I should've put friend in quotations. I haven't spoken to him in months. The one girl in the group actually drew Lemon Russ and all of the party together and she nearly cried when she realized we wouldn't be able to go and build another tank or explore more of the Ghoul Stars. At that point we knew he wasn't worth keeping around
>>
>>49885277
Sounds like you shouldn't have played a 40k game.

The GM played it perfectly.
>>
>>49874617
>A lot of DMs don't seem to understand how long distances work for some reason.

Yeah I've seen that a lot. Had a GM once run a game where we stayed on one single island for most of the campaign but the amount of time it took to travel between locations changed each session. So it'd take us half a day to get from our base to the nearest town one session and two weeks the next. He also couldn't remember what the terrain was either so our base wound up being in a forest, craggy hills, and a jungle at various points.

We PCs decided we'd somehow stumbled into a demiplane with shifting terrain, but it sure was annoying to deal with.
>>
>>49885277
>getting attached to characters
>playing OW
Choose one and only one
>>
>>49885011
Lots of pathfinders rules are directed towards pfs, because everyone is a rules lawyer and DMs get no creative freedom in the name of fairness and equality.

But the system is fine if you have a good DM.
>>
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>>49885482
>player fucks everyone over
>"the GM played it perfectly"
>>
>>49885548
He played the grey knight perfectly.

The real mistake here was letting him play as one
>>
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>>49884106
>Chaotic Good
>I think imma kill that dude who probably doesn't like things I like
>>
>>49885482
>>49885590
>players obviously hugely enjoying the campaign and are attached to their characters and their tank
>'hurrr imma arbitrarily kill them all because muh grimdark'

Nah, he sounds a bit shit.
>>
>>49869958
>>49869958
I had a player exactly like this in my last game, drove me crazy. Even when there was a hook aimed straight at him he'd be so oblivious to it we would have to tell him to do something. To top it off he'd take 5 min turns in combat because for some reason wouldn't plan ahead at all when it wasn't his turn. Big reason I left.
>>
>>49878500
SIX SECOND RULE.
>>
>>49879362
There is NOTHING wrong with this. I will fight you. Bring it, I'll fight anyone!
>>
>>49880805
This was written by a predictive text generator wasn't it?
>>
>>49885277
>All that, because he heard Grey Knights killed ALL witnesses. Despite us not being corrupted.
That part is actually true, though.

Still a garbage thing to actually pull in an RPG.
>>
Stop me if you think you've heard this one before
>FIRST time playing 3.5 or any ttrpg for that matter
>3rd level
>Roll godly stats according to my GM (18/16/14/14/12/10)
>Because I love strong independent warriors who don't need no weapons/equipment unarmed DEX Fighter2/Monk1 then keep leveling in Monk and end with something like Fighter3/Monk5
>Pick TWF feat and as I level pick Imp TWF, snap kick and similar feats to get as many attacks as possible
>Think I'm going to Atatatatata the shit out of enemies
>Reality is pretty fucking different, my to hit is shit, my damage is shit, stunning fist is shit, my HPs are shit (rolled) and the only thing worth mentioning is my AC which is comparable to the medium armored dude in my group
>Yet group is srly upset that my character has "godly stats", saying I'm perfect, I'm unbeatable, I'm indestructible, etc
>Reality, like I said, is pretty fucking different as I never do anything worth mentioning, fall unconscious in every combat and enemies eventually ignore me because my damage is laughable so I'm not a thread
>Party suffers an almost TPK and my character flees coz he couldn't do shit
>Group rages about how my godawesome character fled instead of beating them all
>Game dies
>Stop playing 3.5
>Flashforward 7 years
>GM wants to translate game to PF
>Gives me character sheet made by him
>Fighter3/Monk5 with Twf, ImpTwf
>In fucking pathfinder in where you can't FoB+Twf
>Say no
>>
A while ago I was in my first game with a that guy player. The guy had to derail everything and take the entire spotlight. He was a close friend of the GM though so complaining would be fruitless. I just left. I'd like to tell what happened but the GM browses /tg/ and I don't want to fall out with him.
>>
>>49887129
The thread is on page 8 and being slowly bumped off of the board. It'll be gone in an hour. TELL US.
>>
>>49887140
I'm paranoid but basically this guy had to be the main character he came from only doing some kind of weird furryshit RP and the idea of collaboration was completely alien to him. Any time the story wasn't about him he'd be throwing a shitfit and trying to undermine the party so he could be the focus again. At one point he basically got the GM to do a side game with just him and the GM were he ended the game by fucking the setting up irreversibly. The rest of the group were only told after and when we were annoyed that guy and the GM tried to blame us.
>>
>>49887249
Oh also that guys character was a loli and his fetishes were lolis and lolis getting abused. So we were subjected to a lot of magical realm shit
>>
>>49887140
Sorry if that's hard to understand. English is not my first language
>>
>>49885277
See if I wanted to kill you off, but didn't want you to die like unrewarded bitches, I'd have had some inquisotor tell you all how great a job you just did, and as such you'd all get promoted to his henchmen stormtroopers
Who would then be sent straight to a fucked chaos world
Alternatively I'd have let you carry on as tank crewmen
>>
>>49872209
The first one sounds completely fair. If a caster noticed that his attacks were just bouncing right off, he'd change tactics.
>>
>>49873843
There's a special place in Hell for people who interrupt the GM for stupid shit.
>>
>>49887755
I think he means the moment he chugged the potion the casters just switch spells seamlessly, regardless of if they see him drink it or not.
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