The Adventures of Gormack Sourbrow 2

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>>49857762
>OC from last thread

>>49857762
>goes to drow tavern
>relatively unfamiliar with drow cuisine
>drow are acutely aware that they can't just overcharge him for a glass of piss like they usually do
>panic as they try to come up with a convincing dish

>>49858735
>poison the food
>it wasn't even an original idea, it's just the default drow solution to problems
>Gormack discovers the poison by the slightest whiff of the soup
>Begins screaming that the bitter taste of almonds will overwhelm the flavor of the ingredients, this is inexcusable
>cuts them all down

>>49859434
>poison the food
>it wasn't even an original idea, it's just the default drow solution to problems

"Xa'rquun! Toilet's clogged again!"
"Poison the food, that'll show it!"

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>>49860027
>drow toilets are sentient creatures

>>49860027
>two days later the toilet is keeled over
>turns out the toilet was a mimic

>>49860115
>"A plot by House Urlixian, no doubt"

>>49860112
I would not be surprised, they're probably a specially bred type of spider. with another breed serving as a loo-roll dispenser.

>>49860155
I'd have bet some sort of fungus, but yeah.

>>49860112
>their purpose is malicious

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Bump for great taste!

Also, I want to know what happens when he visits one of his orc kinsmen's pancake house.

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So does Gormack's style of review limit him to rural locales, where he won't be run down by the authorities for the destruction of establishments and murder of their proprietors? Is there some legal exception made for him, or does he only visit urban establishments when he has the forces to back up his critiques? Does he only judge the cooking of common folk, or does he put the kitchens of local manses and castles to the test? would he rather besiege a town and let the challange of pleasing his palate stand as an escape or kidnap the lord's chefs and cooks to add to his culinary harem?

>be human chef of some backwater greasy spoon
>drunk as fuck all the time, cooking whatever I fancy
>some orc busts in
>bar wrench lists me his order
>don't know the half the shit he wants
>oh well time to wing it
>45 minutes and a couple of bottles of beer later
>finish cooking the orc's ridiculous order
>go back to drinking
>hear orcish yelling about unrested and rubbery ham hocks, waxy potatoes and almonds in his biscotti
>last thing I see is a axe
>head now decorates his pike

>>49864000
>>last thing I see is an axe
>>head now decorates his pike
wat
perspective went all over the place somewhere

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>>49863863
Gormack is a warmongering barbarian first, food critic second. Once he's had his fill of murder he looks to fill his stomach with whatever currently suits his fancy. He generally "reviews" the larger pubs and bars on the main roads, but sometimes he'll intentionally look for a small family restaurant because he understands what it's like to be the little guy. He also keeps track of any rumors and boasts of exceptional establishments and will eventually check if it's as good as they say (it never is). If there's news of an orc barging their way through the imperial palace, this is probably the reason. He doesn't care about authorities getting in the way; killing them is part of the daily grind to loot and plunder. On that note, as a true war veteran it's unlikely that he'd let his hobby take precedence over his work, but if there existed a food truly so divine he might give pause to taste. Most likely though he'd kill the chefs while harshly berating their poor preparation technique.

In short, Gormack is not a gentleman. He's a short-tempered, bloodthirsty orc barbarian who has a highly refined palate and an appreciation for fine dining.

>>49860027
>>49860115
Anyone else ever run in Rappun Athuk? Had a mimic that got turned into a giant, all but completley unkillable, monster made of dung who liked to hide in latrines. essentially a Dungemental, excretemental one could say. I think it swallowed some sort of staff or something that caused the change I cant recall.

>>49866791
thats horrible, why would you post or do that?

>>49866791

I think you mean Excremental. Also known as a Doodie Golem or Shit Spirit.

>>49867046
I didn't do it. I said 'anyone else run in Rappan Athuk' as in, it is a published adventure anyone could run in. I was a player and not the DM btw so I never personally subjected anyone to it. We managed to actually 'beat' it, sorta, but only through a very convuluted plot device we nabbed from an earlier dungeon.

>>49864000
>>49864099
Is that another OC?

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>>49863863
>nips think pig people are orcs

>>49857762
>"This drink, I like it. Another!!!"

>>49869488
It's because they're inspired directly by D&D, which was a bit of a hit in Japan at one point, rather than Tolkien, which was always just a curiosity.