Paladin thread

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>>49801631

>>49801631
>be me
>be glorious dorf paladin of Moradin
>party has evil wizard
>tolerated, because greater good
>wizard burns down orphanage and murderkills story-critical NPC
"Hell, it's about paladamn time."
>chase after wizard
>hunt him across the land, hot on his trail while rest of party jerk off
>catch the bastard trying to eat the heart of a priest of pelor
>swear to cull his darkness by hammer
>shrug off his phantasmal killers and fireballs
>knock him over, effectively killing him
>hammer is heretical skull in
>take is evil artifacts back to my church to be properly destroyed

>>49801676
I Like you, was he butthurt?

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>>49801631
>Marry a qt chivalrous monstergirl
>We smite heretics and fight evil together
>Fighting back to back as husband and wife
>Riding her into battle, trampling and slashing through wave after wave of goblins
>She's a pure virgin to boot
Y'all kniggas don't know what you're missing out on.

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>>49801676

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>>49801631
>when the demons assault your fortress
>you and your palabros on the doorstep
>give them hell for days
>God gives you all hope as you defend your home and faithful families
>bards all around the world will tell of your tales centuries after you're dead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U9lVjZg-Kg
DEUS VULT!

>>49802209
>horsepussy

>>49802209
>Beastfucker
>Smite evil
Pick one

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I like paladins who don't don't take joy in the smiting, but rather pity.
For if things had been any different, perhaps they could have met as friends. Maybe if they themselves were a better man, they could have saved this soul they now cast out of this world.

Even a demon is a person, with their own memories and thoughts. And that the world, fate and their own choices have forced it and the paladin to be enemies is something to feel sorrow for.
To do good, that is something real. Something joyous. But it is not the killing or purging that one feels joy for, that is a dark path. It is what you save through your efforts, those you defend and the souls you inspire.

Otherwise, well.. you're just a butcher with a shiny knife.

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>>49802262
>>49802288
Centaurs are a proud and noble race with a long history as humanity's greatest allies and stalwart defenders of good and justice. If you don't think that's the tightest shit then get out of here.

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>>49802209
>>49802349
that's really gross anon

>>49802349
You don't fuck your mount. Paladins are not horsefuckers.

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>>49802324
>Even a demon is a person
Not in my setting they aren't. They are the agents of the most horrific beings in the lower planes, those that have no conscience and not an ember of good in their black, corrupted soul.

And paladins shouldn't feel anything but anger, when they smite the wicked. For they are but tools of God! They hear his voice and heed his commands, carving out the evil on the world.

They should be appalled and furious at the sinful nature of the evil they face and bring down the righteous fury on these fiends!

>>49802349
Wouldn't Humanity's greatest ally be the dogs?

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Reminder that the best Paladins are those qwho do not need to do good or to have the approval of their god, but rather to believe that they are doing the right thing.

>When you mercy kill an entire city full of infected citizens

>>49802349
>riding a centaur into battle
>you cant charge properly because your waifu will get impaled by pikemen
>your waifu has too big a fun bags to fight properly
>your dick will never be big enough to satisfy her
>you'll inevitably break your arm trying to fist her instead
nty. shittest ally and waif you could ever have

also,
>horsepussy

>>49802407
A butcher.

With a shiny knife.

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>>49802442

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>>49802432
>your dick will never be big enough to satisfy her
>even though holding her hands alone is more than enough to bring her to the verge of orgasm
Sex is as much psychological as it's physical, anon.

Also
>Not giving your waifu the best armor money can buy

>>49801631
>that feel when a bunch of poles and pagan lithuanians rape you so hard at grunwald that you turn protestant.

>>49802026
very butthurt
To this day, he hates me as a person for murderkilling his evil wizard and planting a "No fun allowed" sign in his corpse.

He refused to even play when I was there. Not even playing just on the sideline.

>>49802488
>holding her hands alone is more than enough to bring her to the verge of orgasm

Well fuck, then me riding her into battle would have horselady cum trailing behind with her promptly falling over from exhaustion

Worst mount ever. Fuck your
>horsepussy
in some other thread

>>49801631
>be a crusader
>go to the holy land to kill saracens
>get sidetracked and burnd down constantinopole instead

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>>49802589
>He hasn't even considered the tactical advantage of covering the field of battle in a thick, slippery liquid that will disrupt enemy formations

>>49802773
>the amount of lady horsecum needed to disrupt enemy forces would be absurd
>your centaur waifu would pass out before the tactical advantage would even play a roll

>>49803012
>He can't even make his waifu cum literal gallons
Take your babydick out of here.

>>49803027
>babydick
At least my dick fights for justice and all that is holy. Not
>horsepussy

>>49803080
Pounding tender assholes of altar boys and novice brothers is not justice.

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>>49803104
I feel like I'm actually in a temple watching to heavily armoured figures arguing at each other while a blushing centaur is off to one side trying to hide under her visor.
Meanwhile I'm just sitting at the table eating my sandwich after doing my little 'shiny knife' speech earlier.

I played a monster paladin a while ago. Started off as a ranger style, surviving off the land and sneaking around as needed. Absolutely monstrous in close combat, but was unable to use ranged weapons due to his anatomy.

After getting a mission from the Star Gods to kill an ancient spirit that had been corrupting his homeland, he turned into a divine warrior, and the purer he was, the stronger his powers became.

However, he took absolute joy in the slaughter. Because if something was so far done that it could not be saved, he savored every moment. He was, by nature, a very blood thirsty being and took primal satisfaction in getting his claws bloody.

However, peace was always his first course of action, and eventually turned his home into a safe haven for any monster willing to play by a certain set of rules. All the food and water you could want in a wasteland, all you had to do was play nice and work. I really miss that character. He was great fun, and even got his happy ending.

>>49802597
That's basically what happened. There were some real Monty Python moments in that whole debacle...

>>49803189
>Star Gods
Was he, by any coincidence, named Tcho-Tcho?

>>49803080
>justice and all that is holy
>horsepussy

Why did you write the same thing twice?

>>49803210

No, it was Granite, because he liked rocks.

The Star Gods were based off a native American myth where a group of native girls were driven up a mesa by an angry fucking bear, and asked to be saved, and became constellations. The DM is very varied in his source material for his settings.

>>49801631

>Be me
>Be a Mandalorian
>Sith Empire declares war on Mandalorian Clans
>They invade and capture young children and infirm
>Use them as meatshield to prevent airstrikes against strategic infrastructure
>Lead a strike team and kill the fuck out of the Sith troops
>Never forgive, never forget
>Naval battle breaks out much later, after I have risen to a high command position
>In a situation where there are several crippled Sith naval vessels and several attempting to surrender to Galactic Alliance allies
>Open fire on those fuckers
>Ineverforgot.jpg

I mean, I don't have fancy force powers or divine magic, but I can still smite evil on the ground and with heavy mass drivers in space.

>>49803597
Shame you aren't canon anymore. :^)

>>49803618

No Pen and Paper game is ever canon. You can do whatever the fuck you want with the setting, so long as everyone playing has fun.

>>49803618
The forum I'm on decided that old EU is still canon, as we had been up and running for a couple of years before that, and a lot of stuff had some basis in canon.

Oh boy, it's another "Crusader thinks he's a Paladin" thread.

>>49803727
So, I've got my own decisions for what those titles mean. But I think you mean something else entirely.
What are Crusaders and Paladins to you?

What's the best paladin you ever played?

Mine was a deeply religious fighter with a lot of common sense and a silvered spear.

>>49803727
Pope said that all raping is in the name of God once you go crusading. If i'm not a paladin, no one is! So who wants to sack the Constantinopole?

>>49803727
Really, I dunno. I see Paladins as the actual ideals that Knights aspired to be.
As opposed to, you know, actual knights, who were basically state/church sanctioned marauders.

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>>49803771
The pope excommunicated everyone involved in the Fourth Crusade. Unless you're Guy de Lusignan, Godfrey de Bouillon or Saint Louis, you're shit.
>Inb4 "m-muh Lionheart"
SHIIIIIIIIT

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>>49801631
>slaughter monster waifu
But I wanna marry that snek

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>>49803854
>Godfrey de Bouillon
This. How can wanna be crusaders even compete?

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>>49803771
Nigga, fuck the Pope.

>Play a paladin focused on mercy and happiness
>Make friends with all you come across
>Help redeem bad people
>If diplomacy not an option, destroy painlessly
>Be happy family man, with a loving village life.

>>49802418
This has always been my take. In fact my favorite flavor of paladin or holy warrior is a humble sort that takes the Dog as their standard. My current paladin as a dog named Horse and a horse named Dog. His reason for both? "The Horse/Dog is a noble animal and one of humanities greatest and longest friends"

It only gets confusing when he goes into Kennels calling for his horse.

>>49802432
>>49802488
Horse Pussy can actually shrink down to about the diameter of a dime, and actual male horses are one pump chumps. So you have a decent go at fucking her properly and well.

>>49803974
Needs eyepatch

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>>49802442
>shiny knife

>>49802527
You did good anon. You did good.

>>49802773
>Early chapters have Cerea playing up the Centaurs as being noble warriors of chivalry and honor
>Later on they just all turn out to be a bunch of semi retarded barbaric cuckolds

I'm still a little bit mad.

>>49805252
I agree with the prior anon in a sense. Different favours of paladin for different cultures/religions/times.

Butcher with a knife is just as much a tool for his God as the contemplative scholarly warrior *if that is what is needed*

Play what thrills you.

I'm playing a halfling paladin of pharasma. Dedicated to purging undeath from the frontier... With a silver dagger. She might just be off handedly killed by another player due to conflicting backgrounds but we'll see.

Going to play her as an undead slaying batman. Terror of the terrible.

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>>49804538
>Be a Paladin from an Eastern land, banished after being framed the murder of my queen/sister in law
>Dont lose hope though
>Travel the lands writing poetry and righting wrongs, trying to bring peace to troubled lande
>Provide a swift end to those that can't be helped peacefully
>Still hold on to the dream that I'll return home one day and gain the forgiveness of my brother for those long days on the road

Never enough peaceful, cheery paladins. Even less paladins that aren't typical crusaders..

>>49802418

I want a dog-girl as my battle buddy now.

And then later we can go on a walk and rub her belly and let her sleep on my lap!

>Join a new group, play d&d 5e
>Make a big, manly, greataxe-wielding warrior from the north
>He's a paladin dedicated to hunting evil dragons
>He dies in a blaze of glory
>Make a new character
>A sneaky mean-tongued bastard who grew up on the streets
>He, too, is a paladin dedicated to protecting the wrongfully oppressed
>He dies due to a streak of unlucky rolls
>Make a new character
>A fat cheerful musician with a happy-go-lucky attitude who travels and collects stories and is a great cook
>Guess what, he is a paladin of the god of beauty and art
>He settles down, gets married and opens an inn
>Make a new character
>A wise and observant old man in robes with a pointy hat, glowing staff, a sword and a lot of stories to tell
>Paladin, again, his staff can shed light and he uses it as a shield

Campaign ended. Now the group sans the GM begs me to make a character that isn't a paladin. I can't decide between another paladin or a self-righteous, scourging-and-purging smite-happy rogue.

>>49806385
Maybe just try a bard anon.

>>49806806
Why? It kind of misses the point.

>>49806825
Make a cleric.

>>49805997
Same.
i wouldn't mind being a dog-girl who gets tummy rubs, lowkey

>>49805997
>>49807258
Don't fuck your dog, anon.

>>49807258
I dont have a dog.
The government doesn't let me have one

>>49806825
If your party is begging you to Play something else...

Play something else. I know you're having fun but I've seen this time and time again.

It's not ruining their fun either. But it's chipping at it.

Play something different, you'd an put themes of redemption and vice into it. You just aren't a paladin smiling evil again.

Be a bard who was classically educated and wants to promote legislation for the huddled masses, but was convinced by his degenerate brother to live amongst them.

Unbeknownst to him his brother plots his death and seeks to be heir of the kingdom in his place.

- holy shit being poor sucks
- holy shit poor people suck
- wow when I'm poor, and cold and hungry I suck too! Correlation?

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I take no pleasure from bloodshed and murder. But it must be done. These are wrong things, and they must be destroyed to protect the realm and all of God's creatures in it.

how 2 paladin:
step 0: pick a class that can't have its class features forcibly revoked for misbehaving (protip: avoid anything with built-in alignment restrictions/code of conduct)
step 1: detect evil
step 2: smite evil
step 3: figure out a way to redefine the cosmic concept of "evil" once you inevitably run out of evil to detect and smite
step 4: there is no step 4 because your GM has most likely banned you from playing anything remotely resembling a paladin ever again, and rightly so
step 5: roll a new character, stop making excuses for your character's rampant dickery, abandon all pretense of being anything other than an unrepentant murderhobo, and finally get banned from the group for being an insufferable piece of shit

>Paladin of Erastil
>meet up with the current party as I'm about to go smite some an owlbear who carried away a toddler
>they decide to help
>find it's cave
>hear the childs screams as we enter
>holy rage fills him
>armor starts to shine as golden glowing antlers sprout from helm
>cleave the bastard in two with one swing from my greatsword
>save the child moments before he was devoured
>decide to leave the priest and son in charge of defending town while he goes with the party to protect the world from undead threat
>succumbs to wounds while after successfully defending church from evil things near the end of the campaign

He was my favorite character I've ever played

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>>49805897
Me too. It looks like only female centaurs live up to the chivalrous ideas Centorea constantly brought up and keeps bringing up. The pay-off was incredibly disappointing.
What I actually expected was that her mother would be a completely normal woman who revealed that Centorea's "muh chivalry" talk was her being a chuuni, and that the Centaur tradition of chivalry ended centuries ago.

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>paladin stories

>>49803844
>all knights and crusaders were bad people

The massacre of Jerusalem was pretty bad but not every knight was a fucking awful person dude

>>49805964
Well Paladins do come European chivalric tales like the Matter of France and the Matter of Britain as well as the real Paladins who were francs so it makes sense that many people play them as European knights and crusaders.

Surprisingly while reading about medieval culture many Europeans actually honoured Saladin and he was commonly held in esteem with other legendary knight-errants. It wasn't uncommon for people to unironically praise him as a noble "knight" despite him being Muslim and fighting against crusading heroes like Richard the Lionheart. Saladin is a solid choice as inspiration for a non-European flavour paladin.

Also Saint Maurice I suppose is also pretty good inspiration if you know who that is

>>49807293
W-Why?

>>49810014
He fucked his last one.

I've never played one, I've always played either a fighter or cleric instead.

>>49802442
It's okay Anon, not everyone here is a DEUS VULT memetard. I run paladins the same way.

>>49810027
Mental defective

>>49810067
What's wrong with Deus Vult memeing?

>>49810094
Sometimes people meme too hard and smite orphans for stealing bread

>>49802324
I have a player that did exactly this. It was in a Bloodorne setting (so fucked up creatures all around) and he still felt pity toward them, thinking of the act of killing them as an act of mercy

>>49810004
There was also this Moorish knight in the Matter of France if I'm not mistaken. I think the tale more or less said that he'd have been the ideal knight, had he been a Christian. Then there's also the fact that the French themselves abandoned the Matter of France and took a huge interest in the Matter of England, and as a result some of the most famous Arthurian legends (like pretty much anything related to Lancelot) were written by Frenchmen. Conversely, in that same period the Italians started taking a huge interest in the Matter of France, meaning that some of the most famous Carolingian tales (like Orlando Furioso) were written by Italians.

National borders weren't really a big deal in the minds of most people then. Hell, Charles V of the Holy Roman Empire had a massive rivalry with Francis I of France, yet he still said that Paris "isn't a city, but a universe" (and was actually a native speaker of French, despite not being born in France). At the time, people simply admired figures, legends and cities they considered admirable without any real regard for nationality.

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>be a paladin
>no evil to protect against
>suddenly your oathbreaker buddy tells you that the demons have invade, and that towns on the border have been burned tonight
>mfw we go to stand against the darkness one more time

>>49802418
Dogs are baby killing monsters when they're not on a leash and beaten into submission, so no.

>>49802324
My latest pally was a bit like that. He felt a mixture of pity and revulsion for the wicked, as he knew, in spite of what they did now, they were the end result of a series of unkindnesses the world had thrown at them, and that they became as they are now was due to not having one of his kind to prevent them.

Unless they were a demon or an undead or any other kind of willfully irredeemable evil being. Then whenever he couldn't fight them, he'd openly loathe them almost to the point of lack of decor.

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>>49801631

>>49810801
what anime is this?

>>49810823
Boku no Pico.

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>>49810801

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>>49810004
Thanks for the history lesson, I know some of it already from my own studying.

But that's the brilliant thing about playing RPGs is you can expand upon archetypes and make the characters your own rather than sticking to the same old tropes.

The concept of paladins comes from Europe, sure enough, but they are hardly the only ones who fit the bill. Playing as a paladin that's a bit outside the norm opens up a lot of interesting interactions.

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>>49805964
Wouldn't Muslim warriors also fall under the Paladin umbrella pretty easily? Not many other people will actually inlay gold words of scripture just to make their swords more holy and smite-able, or cover the whole damn thing in holy symbols and words all over like mamluks.

And the whole fervently fighting for the will of god alone, only really having faith and a sword etc.

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>>49801631
>tfw the raid on the cultists' hideout goes perfectly due to the flawless teamwork of the special operations paladin order

>>49812944
I played a sikh paladin once i know muslims and sikhs arent the same at all but i enjoyed the character a lot. Though my group got tired of his foreign person laugh and him saying "my friend" all the time.

"No retreat my friends! These unholy monsters shall fall easily beneath our blades!"

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>>49813001

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>>49802211
>>49801676

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>>49812944
Child killing fanatics that suicide bomb foreigners are considered to be paladins to you anon?

>>49812944
It is entirely possible but it can't be discussed mainly because the people who have the greatest hard ons for paladins are people like >>49813408

>>49813408
Except that's not always the case.

Literally in this very thread you can find contradictions to that.

>>49810004
>>49810350

>>49803560
I've been to that place

>>49813408

yeah, just as much as you can consider an American on a computer bombing funerals and ambulances with drones a Paladin.

you retard.

>>49813408
Depends on if your setting has a god that likes that kinda stuff really

>>49802324
St. Augustine said that in a Just War you should love your enemy and that any punishment you give out in name of your love for him is justified.

>>49812944
>Literally Saladin

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Was he a paladin?

>>49802209
>whorse
>virgin
Kek. You fell for the cucktaur meme