>You are a writer in games workshop. >You should write

What if 40k was actually good.

>>49693163
AU where Empy completed the human webway.

>>49693163
a setting that isn't connected to that garbage

>>49693163
I'd pick the most popular faction/character in the setting and make a 200 page not-so-subtle magical realm of cuckoldry.

>>49693186
As an expansion to this, what if 40k was consistent.

Collections of short stories that detail the events how each race managed to attain their end game conditions and steamroll the galaxy. 1/3 is from the winners POV, 1/3 is a few of the losers POV and the remaining third is from an omnipresent narrator.
Chaos gets two editions, one for Chaos (destroying reality, so the stories mostly focus on the event leading to the Emperors death) and one where Abaddon becomes the new Emperor and rules the Dark Imperium after betraying the Chaos gods.
To prevent the massive butthurt the stories assume that only one faction managed to do it and others were destroyed before they could gain theirs (so no stories of how the Emperor reborn defeats the united Orks under Ghazkul, just stories of the Imperium steamrolling the galaxy with their newly evolved psyker powers).
Naturally the Tau don't get shit, because they lack a win condition. Advancing their tech is impossible when the galaxy is only a few dozen of years away from seeing a victor emerge

>>49693163
A setting in which the orkz won 40k. A galaxywide Gorkamorka.

>>49694140
This is the best idea.
Also Tau's win condition is simply ____leaving____

>>49694140
Have necrons and dark eldar a win condition?

SmurfHammer 40K.

>>49694297
Dark Eldars would also be leave I imagine, Necrons would be to stop all this warp fuckery and put everyone in their place.

>>49694297
Necrons just have to wake up and unite in sufficient numbers. And then try not to slaughter too many species so that they can transfer their souls to a new, living body.
Dark Eldar can presumably piggyback from Ynnead if the Eldar manage it. And as long as the Imperium or Chaos doesn't win, they'd be still mostly safe from harm in the Webway.

The collection where Abaddon or the Imperium win would have a story from the DEs POV.
>chilling in Commoragh, waiting for the stupid monkeigh to stop slaughtering everyone so you can go back to raiding their primitive worlds
>suddenly entire regiments of IG, numerous SM Chapters and Titan Legions appear right in the middle of Commoragh
>also everyone is a psyker
>also also they are led by the Emperor himself, maybe a few returned Primarchs as well
>alternatively, the same armies appear but they are led by Abaddon himself alongside Chaos Daemons he chained to his will once the Chaos gods were denied their victory

>>49693815
Found matt ward

I want all the space marines to actually be robots pretending to be humans. Poorly. And the humans they are pretending to be are furfags

Warhammer Fantasy with a slightly shifted tone/tech-level for the Empire and surrounding human states. Rather than it being based off a Steampunk Renaissance Holy Roman Empire, we either have a Revolutionary/Napoleonic France or an Ancient Rome analogue. For the first one, rather than them being a mix of "state troops, knights, flagellants and steam tanks", it would be a mix of continental warfare doctrine: muskets and bayonets, Grenadiers and hussars with maybe a screen of rural marksmen with good rifles (imagine if airguns were able to work properly due to Lore of Metal magic improving the techniques for air canisters, etc). Rather than supporting detachments countercharging, they'd do stuff like forming hollow squares or breaking out a whiff of grapeshot. And since it's fantasy, Musketeers would be swashbucklers without par.

The Roman one is fairly self-explanatory. There's a dude that did an Empire counts-as for some GTs years ago, calling them "Reman Legions." And there's something innately HFY about humans forming a testudo and marching into Dark Elf repeater crossbow fire.

I have several alternate versions for warhammer fantasy I'd like to see

1. Elfhammer. Malekith becomes king and leads the elves to a new golden age of conquest. With the help of the dwarfs, the forces of chaos are defeated once and for all. Elves remain the dominant race up to the present and never split off into 3 different factions

2. No Nagash. A timeline where Nagash never existed. Nehekara continues to prosper and eventually finds a way to bring back the tomb kings and their legions in the magical bodies they wanted. Living humans make up the citizenry while most of the armies consist of animated constructs and ancient warriors clad in perfect bodies of clay, stone and metal. The tomb kings themselves are radiant golden angelic beings, with Settra ruling over all. The still living royal bloodlines become extremely expansionistic to ensure they will have places to rule when they die and come back into the world. Most of the old world, the southlands and parts of the dark lands are part of the grand empire of nehekara

3. Empire of man. Sigmar conquers the entirety of the old world, forming one massive nation of man. The empire reaches great heights of civilization and pretty much becomes Nehekara/cathay but based more on the Roman Empire than the Holy Roman Empire.

WFRP, but Empire's trappings are Chinese, not early modern German.

>>49693163
The Horus Heresy never happened, but the Tyranid invasion came instead and somehow absorbed the Dark Eldar and discovered Slaanesh worship. Chaos Tyranids.

I don't know anything about the lore, if it weren't obvious.

>>49693163
I check the charts arranged by upper management and write whatever they tell me as working for GW has systematically eliminated any trace of creativity from my soul.

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>>49693163
>Do the one thing everyone would hate me for
>Write Kenders into the W40K universe

>>49693163
I'd introduce more furry races, furry space marines.

Because furries are cool.

I'm not too creative, so probably a Noble Dark version. Imperium, Tau, and Eldar alliance, if an uneasy and tense one. Imperium stops stagnating, Eldar start to recover, Tau keeps on Tau-ing. Chaos is the big threat, 'Nids the recurring threat that shakes things up, and Necrons lurking quietly in the back ground.

I'd do a Fantasy AU based off of that theory that the end times was going to reboot warhammmer fantasy without changing everything completely

>Replace most of the big, named characters with folks that can have development and arcs without fanboys pitching a fit or calling bullshit. Karl Franz would stay, Louen Lancour would be killed off after being characterized, vampires would be mostly untouched except making Mannfred not a bitch, and stopping Nagash from coming back would be a major plot point. Prettymuch everyone else would go or quietly be replaced with little fanfare.
>Whole point is to stop the End Times as they happened in previous 'cycles' or turns of a wheel from happening again.
>At this point, it's happened roughly 20 times. Slannesh is the only chaos god against it but they go along with it so they don't get killed and replaced by the horned rat again
>It'd focus on heroes who start off dealing with small ball problems in their areas before getting drawn into the big, epic conflicts that decide the fate of the old world. Kings would be made, heroics would ensue. An ancient celestial wizard and Teclis would serve as the Gandalfs.
>Also, Archaon would die at roughly the halfway point. Everyone would heave sighs of relief, thinking that the world won't end if they can just kill Nagash, everyone rallies behind Bretonnia's new king as he marches south
>Chaos Gods: Hey guys, remember Lord Mortkin, that chaos lord who was basically the Everchosen but not a total bitch? Well, he's back and invading Kislev with a massive army! Have fun. Teehee.
>Empire and the remaining elves/dwarves scramble to deal with a chaos army so dire it makes the great war against chaos look like chump change, all the heroes in the north and the south have to frantically fight to find 1) Permanently deal with Nagash while actively fighting him and 2)Deal with a HUGE chaos army under Mortkin the Everchosen
>But they do it with lots of sacrifices, so the world gets to survive for now.

>>49694203
>A setting in which the orkz won 40k
So 40k?
remember, the orkz want to fight
what is everyone currently doing?

Alternate version of the endtimes/age of sigmar. Things turn around at the battle of Altdorf and the forces of order actually have a chance at winning. However, the only battle that matters now is stopping Archaon from activating the device under middenheim. The incarnates fight their way to middenheim and eventually confront Archaon. Grimgor kills Archaon and Ungrim is still alive. With all incarnates present, and with the help of a couple of slann, the ritual to seal the rift and fix the old world almost succeeds. However, Nagash betrays his allies at a critical point in the ritual and the winds of magic are sucked into the rift along with the incarnates. Instead of being consumed by chaos, the winds formed 8 alternate versions of the warhammer world, with the incarnates and their followers being the gods of these worlds. the original world is still around in the middle of all this, completely free of chaos influence but still ruined by war. Each of the incarnate gods hopes to conquer the original world, none more than Sigmar and Nagash

Alternate warhammer fantasy where all the base cultures are switched around.

The lizardmen are Egyptian based

The Tomb Kings are Aztec based

The empire is based on the Greeks/Romans

The dwarfs are based on the Chinese

The high elves are based on the Holy Roman Empire

The wood elves are based on native Americans

The chaos dwarfs are based on feudal Japan

Dark elves take after the Indians

>>49693163
I'd write about how the imperium eventually got tired of the Tau's bullshittery and dropped two exterminatuses on their key worlds forcing them to surrender the system and all their humans.

In both settings, the chaos gods are no more powerful than the other gods, and have to ally with each other to even have a chance at invading the material plane. Put chaos fags on the bottom, where they belong

>>49697621
>Orks think other Ork s are da best ever challenge
>have to settle for fighting the lesser races
Even if you ignore that Gork and Mork want them to conquer the galaxy, this theory still falls apart because Orks would create a galaxy to have the best fights possible if they had such a power.

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>There's no such thing as Tech Heresy

The Admech have no constraints placed on them, beyond what passes for common sense in the Admech. The Cogboys can and routinely do engage in Mad Science.

There's no telling what technological monstrosities Mars will unleash on the battlefield, but they assure you that THIS time there's only a 7.8% chance it will explode into thermonuclear fire & demons.

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Make it so.

>>49694140
This. I like this.

Shame GW will never be this creative.

>>49693163
Squats, Rak'Gol, Hrud, etc.

>>49694297
I think Necrons would be either Oldcron C'Tan being satisfied or Newcron Necrontyr empire rebuilt, maybe even back to flesh & blood. The DEldar maybe somehow defeating Chaos & freeing themselves from Slaanesh? Maybe somehow hijacking or taking over Slaanesh?

>>49694140
Tau win condition is establishing uneasy, if consistent peace with Imperium and Eldar as they team up to defeat Deldar, Chaos, Tyranids, and Necrons.

>>49699752
This is the only correct answer.

Alternate Eldar history where the depraved eldar left on world ships and the normal eldar stuck to tradition and stayed in the webway. The "craftworld" eldar from our timeline are in fact the more numerous oneself the inheritors of the eldar empire, while the dark eldar are rare raiders

Warhammer modern.

it's not fantasy, it's not sci-fi, it's just semi-future tech. Just enough to have other basic primitive races in the game.

>>49703059
Sounds like Shadowrun, kind of.

>>49659273
>>49688522
one of these two

>>49693163
I would just rip off Genesis Rising to be completely honest with you

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I had a sorta-fleshed out concept for Warhammer 1942 once, but since /tg/ has (had?) the worst mods, I was banned before it even could get discussed.

Apparently, different parts of the world being affected differently mixed with alternative history is "racist".

>>49693163
Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!, but in Fantasy.

>>49698513
>empire is based on Greece and Rome

It would be cool if it was an advanced form of Grome, where they never fell but continued to advance all the way until early gun powder like the current Empire.

>>49693163
I would write about what would happen if the Tau all died in a blender...

Oh wait, nothing really changed...

Might need to rethink my strategy.

>>49705424

white male detected

>>49706196
>white male detected

10-4, shitlord confirmed, over.

>>49705424
How long ago was this, are we talking about the reign of nazimod?

>>49706657
Literally years. Enough time for me to get a new IP somehow. I was gone for a long time.

>>49693186
>>49693967
/thread

>>49693163
King Alkadizar actually properly fucks up Nagash's "fuck all of Nehekara's shit" spell ritual.
The resulting magical fallout triggers the reawakening of the Tomb Kings, but the live peoples of Nehekara are still just that. This results in Nehekara undergoing a period of civil war, as the Land of the Dead (under Settra) wars with the Land of the Living (under Alkadizar the Mad, Slayer of Nagash). This is all backstory to the actual setting of the novel.

We see a plucky young Nehekaran lad journey through the Nehekaran semi-wasteland, finding out that Nagash actually survived, and Arkhan the Black is working to bring him back to his full power. He then has to convince Alkadizar (or, more likely, his heir) and Settra to work together, in order to finally crush Nagash and Arkhan, who by this time have buggered off to Lahmia in order to recruit the Lahmian vampires to fight against their Nehekaran cousins.

>>49698513
>The Tomb Kings are Aztec based
...that might actually be pretty cool.

>Aggressive slave-takers, because they need to sacrifice them to ensure that the sun doesn't permanently set on the Tomb King Empire of the New World
>More slaves are sacrificed to build up the armies of the Tomb Kings
>Casket of Souls survives, only this time it's powered by MORE slave-sacrifice (and renamed Altar of Blood)
>Screaming Skull Catapults, the ammo being supplied by EVEN MORE SACRIFICE OF SLAVES
>The currency of the New World Tomb Kings is slaves
>The basic army unit is LD 1 slave mobs lead by a LD 4 slavedriver
>All the undead units are maxed out based upon the number of slave mobs you have

>>49699005
Such salt levels are unhealthy.

>>49702271
Because it makes the AdMech a boring as fuck lolsorandomXD faction?

>>49699752
Only 7%, Magos? Your restraint is commendable.

>>49693163
Sanguinius heresy.

>>49693163
An AU of either Golden Age humanity continuing to survive and fight far more escalated enemies with only a fraction of unity, with humanity being located as independent political entities all over the galactic map and beyond but having to fight off tyranids, demons, and each other with the shadowy emperor not yet revealing himself trying to hold it all together.

Or an AU where the Great Crusade succeeded without major chaos infection and the Emperor manages to turn his Imperium into a Golden Age tier society just in time for full fledged reality warping total war with like all of the tyranids, necrons, old one remnants, and other super powerful entities pouring on the galaxy's borders and from the warp hammering at humanity's new proto webway colonies endlessly.

Basically what if 40k was less grim dark and more noblebright since humanity would have far more unity and emperor-designed Dark Age weapons but with massively looming threats over the horizon and a more complicated warp not just dominated by chaos but also the former masters of the warp like the old ones making moves too, or congealed proto-gods hiding in the aether from new cults or dead ones reviving in xenos and far human cultures. Maybe a return of thr Eldar Pantheon from a recovering and more warlike eldar race seeking to rebuild their empire as part of the universes ageless human/eldar rivalries.

basically wh40k but everyone is lolis

exact same characters, themes, etc.. just cute little girls. And like all the new audiobooks are in cute little girl voices too.

>>49693163
Warhammer High obviously

Steamhammer 1.8K, a 19th century steampunk version of Warhammer 40K complete with His Majesty The King's Royal Steam Marines.

>>49699752
But Tech Heresy is best heresy.

Warhammer in tyre Age of Imperialism.

Or 40k where the Mechanicus rules the Imperium.

>>49693163

emprah gloriously ascends into the next plane of being/dies defeating the zerg, that is, the great dragon, and doing some meta shit by which saving the galaxy from chaos, sort of, in the short run

thats year zero of new era

23 K years later;

five 'empires', each some variation on the collapsed empire but each implicitly under the influence of a chaos god, tzeench gets all the mutants and post zerg hybrids, psychics and failed transhuman abominations, nurgle gets like a third of the galaxy just passively rotting away in what seems to be just a bad copy of the old empire fixed in a kind of false time bubble, slaanesh gets some hypertechnological cyborg-venetians-in-space type deal, khrones area is just a massive unending million planet proxy war, and emprah gets what the empire could keep, ruled under a new religious regime of total order, and theyre psychic too

also robots, loads of robots

eldar are still there but going extinct, chaos is just confederated now, orcs are being orcs, surviving zerg are still going around eating planet populations, tau get some twist to their storyline but thats irrelevant
'chaos militias' are now pretty much the same thing as former IG, only with more diverse rules and list options, representing both characteristics of the new 'empires' and the still constant variety of mankind

maybe some new species is introduced, that could all just go into whichever empires armylist or be added to tau

the necrons are the real problem, theyd have to be worked into the whole apocalipse scenario

off course this being 23 K years later not much is known about those old times of order, work and discipline, when the emperor still abided our universe in body, and his power protected all mankind, those golden times before all this chaos and constant war...(insert tons of ironic and sarcastic references to 40K events and characters depicted as mythical triumphs occuring in a legendary galaxy of peace and prosperity)

>>49701057

>Deldar raid Slanesh's realm
>Slanesh laughs it off
>loses a few elder daemons
>Deldar use them to fuel rape engines
>strike the heart of Slanesh's realm
>Capture Slanesh
>use it to fuel the ultimate rape engine
>rape the galaxy

>>49694297
Dark Eldar win condition is like the orks. Keep the party going.

>>49707249
Yeah that sounds like the reign of Nazimod. Glad to have you back, faggot.

>>49693163
AdMech as competent but highly devided and in a very shitty situation regarding funds for research.
Keeping their distance fom non members, mostly because they do not get them, the underlying cultures of imperial humans and AdMech humans drifted quite apart.

Tech Heresy is a thing, tech that mankind once dabbled in with horrible consequences and demon related warp shit.
Xeno tech is not seen as inheritly bad but rather the Omnissiah showing new stuff to his faithfull - "Yo check this out, xeno fegets think they can be better than us. Time to prove them wrong."

Machine Spirits are real, they make mankinds tech very unreliable of not used by humans.

The Omnissiah once was a C'tan, faked his splittering, traveled the galaxy until the Emperor fucked his shit up on Terra to keep him as his bitch.
Was pissed as fuck of that until the Martians started to venerate him, warp shit happens from their believe and changes him a bit.

Basically much less "LUL THEY SO RANDUMB XD" more early Christianity mixed with Voodoo and a bit cargo cult and slightly mad Science.

>>49693163
>>49713046
For fantasy: Archaon losing against some champion of Order on purpose and dying, to give the dark gods the finger.
Weirds out the Southerners, the Norse have a great drinking story more, starting to idolize him and the more northern tribes go REEEEEEEEE.
Beastmen shrug and go back innawoods.
The chaos gods are butthurt, aside from Tzeentch who's losing his sides.

Rebuilding and shit, sometimes later big fat Ogre invasion, Khemri wanting his old empire back, Strigany reconquer Mourkain

Still all in all, order can win ground.

Basically breaking the cycle of doom and letting other factions other than Chaos having a good time, too.

A warhammer fantasy setting where Settra and the tomb kings are the BBEG fsction instead of chaos

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>>49693163
If pariahs still existed

>>49712622
>not at the very least raping Slaanesh first

40k but with no space marines.

No chaos. Instead you make the tyranids the corrupting force. Think cthullu style cults and shit. Instead of having some random interdimentinal force of evil you have a very solid and real crushing threat slowly advancing. And have the necrons are the main opposition. Humans are just a minor empire of one hundred worlds watching two forces beyond their scope fighting infinite wars. Have orks and elder as refugees swarming into the "great oasis" formed by the power of the golden throne. The tau are a rival empire of a smaller size but slowly gaining ground. Also space skaven living in massive space hulks.

>>49696987
/thread

>>49698563
goddamn space japs

Setting where the emperor never unifies humanity. Instead there is a confederation of many human space factions that ally together in the face of common enemies. Many of the Unique human factions with xenos allies or dark age technology are still around.

>>49696869
You know you can just play a campaign in cathay, right?

>>49693192
this

Webway terrain and random effect charts plz

Empy completes human webway. Tau die to AIDs or some fuckass Nurgle disease and completely die off. Dark Eldar quitting their faggy ways and returning to the regular eldar, or being eternally purged by the Salamanders chapter down to their last pointy-eared skull. Sly Marbo becomes a hero equivalent to Ollianus Pius. Eldar battle Necrons full-force, all tombworlds awaken. Tyranids invade warp, overwhelm, smash, consume chaos. Cut off from the warp by the massive Nid swarms, the material chaos forces are eventually defeated. Necron grow in power. Orks again rallied to fight them, Eldar suffer more losses. Imperium begins losing worlds rapidly, starts to fight the nids. A three way clusterfuck begins, the Necrons come out on top and almost defeat the Orks, and smash the Nids, Great Deceiver kills off the invading hivemind, forever ending the nid invasion. Remaining races team up and clash with Necrons, begin losing until second coming of Emps from the Golden Throne. Imperium saves the day suffering galactic-scale losses. Orks regulated on their own worlds. Eldar left to fuck off in the webway alone.

The Imperium, Tau, And Eldar all agree to three way truce to discuss potential solutions to Chaos's bullshitery. Necrons were also invited, on the off chance that they wanted to help, that but they didn't think much of all this talking and negotiating, so they stayed at home and fell assleep. Nobody invited the DEldar because their assholes with no friends. Meanwhile, the Big 3 of civilized races all come, under the consensus that they would rather have anyone else besides Chaos, including Orkz, win, and they were willing to sacrifice anything, including their hatred, to prevent that.
The Imperium representative, using the Imperial Gaurd method of thinking, suggests blowing Chaos all to hell with a big fuckhuge bomb, that they would slap on onto a ship with a suicide squad, tell'em "Godspeed" and send off into the war in the hopes of hitting something. The Eldar representative thinks that this is a fucking Stupid idea, and everyone at this table is grasping at straws. The Tau, water Caste representative also thinks so, but in true Tau brown-nosing fashion, supports the Imperium representative in the hopes that he might be able to butter the Imperium up enough to start preaching the greater good. The Eldar is convinced that every one else here is mad and desperate, but then comes to the realization that he and his people were too for even thinking about having a meeting with the monkeys and the blueberries, and begrudgingly agrees to this awful plan.
The Bomb construction would be a joint effort of the races (as in each side makes their own bomb and come D-Day they just duct-tape them all together). But all three needed to pull troops back from their front to defend the facilities from the inevitable attempts of chaos to sabotage it, and for the Empire and Eldar, that means pulling forces away from the Nids and Orkz. Seeing as leaving those two alone was a horrible idea, they needed a way to stall them.

(1/?)

>>49720828
Cont.
The Eldar jokingly suggests that they kidnap some Ork Boyz and tell 'em that the Nids had called them all Gitz and wankerz. The Tau and Imperium decides that there's actually some merit to this idea and up with a list of planets near the Nid front to throw some Orkz on to, and hope that they would at least Stall the Nids. Most of planets were In Imperium space but, eh no pain no gain. They Also resolved to orkify some planets near Commoragh, because nobody, not even other Eldar, likes those assholes.

Deciding that "fuck it, we crossed the line of Sanity and rationality a long time ago, no point turnin back now", they decided to send a copy of this plan in each of their languages to various Necron Tombworlds, just in case it actually works.

Do or Die time comes, and all three empires, tired from the constant Chaos harassment, are getting the suicide ship prepared (piloted staffed entirely by Angry marines), Abbadon, in rare moment of competency, makes the the biggest Black Crusade yet against The planet of Launch: Gener.

Unfortunately for them, the The Imperium decided that the immaterium merging with the real world was Enough to warrant an exception to the whole "kill all filthy xenos" rule and that if the Emprah could talk, he'ld say the same (he actually wouldn't, but what's he gonna do about it from the golden toilet). The Eldar, decided that not getting bent over a stool and fucked like a little Greek serving boy in a Roman household by a sexually-depraved, hermaphroditic, demon was the better part of dignity, and sent their troops to defend. The Tau, like Jehovah's Witnesses, relished any chance they could get to talk about the greater good to the other races, and broke out their soldier kits and pamphlets.

(2/?)

>>49721033
Cont.

With the long range artillery support and defensive entrenchment tactics of the Gaurd, the mid range Firepower superiority of the Tau, the close range killing capability of the SPHEESS MAH'RHINES, the versatility of the Eldar, and even some help from Old Man Necron (some of the tomb worlds had read the battle plan that the big 3 sent to them, thought it was fucking stupid, but realized that if they ever wanted to have fleshy bits again, then they would need the brash whippersnappers alive, launched off to fuck up chaos in space), all against an actually endless onslaught of Daemons, Cultists and Chaos SPHEESS MAH'RHINES (because chaos is actually bullshit), ushers in the largest, most important, conflict in the galaxy since the War in Heaven, with plenty of "CREEEEEEED!"s, heroic moments, Power of teamwork, and Climaxing with Abbadon get his Arms cut off.

The Powers of 40MK DA:Desperate Alliance, suffering ridiculously heavy casualties manage to just barely repel the Forces of Chaos due to: Superior tactics, teamwork, better organization, and the fact that the Abbadon stopped receiving reinforcements from the Warp as all the Chaos gods, besides Khorne who was giggling like a schoolgirl, had gotten bored, and figured that the bomb probably wouldn't do jack shit to them anyways, and turned their attention else where, leaving Abbadon with only a bunch of loony berserkers who were too hopped on Adrenaline and Bullshark Testoserone to drive a car, let alone stop a giant bomb ship from getting into the Warp.
As the Angry marine-filled ship entered the Warp, everyone held their breath, including the Necron who didn't even need to breathe.

(3/?)

>>49694297
DEldar win condition is let Craftworlds and Harlequins do the job

>>49721244
Cont.
Normally the Chaos gods would have been right not to worry, especially considering that the ship hadn't even been launched from Cadia but from some no-name, Boring, Civilized planet light years away, were it not for 3 things:
A. Because the Warp is a realm powered by emotions and thoughts, concepts like achieving things through "Sheer Willpower" and "Rule of Cool" go from being mere narrative tropes and jokes, to actuall full out laws. And right everyone was thinking "Wouldn't it be cool if we could show those Goddamn snooty Chaos gods they aren't immune to the suckiness of Grimdark".
B. Karma is actually multiuniversal, and all of the Retcons that Chaos had used to make themselves the Big Bad of 40k had earned them a lot of negative Karma.
& C. This was a FUCKHUEG, powerful bomb.

The Last things the Chaos gods ever heard was the sound of a thousand Angry Marines spouting off every Angry one liner they had ever thought of.

"SUCK ON THIS, SLANNESH!"
"WAS THIS 'JUST AS PLANNED', BITCH?!"
"I'M GONNA NEED SOME MILK FOR ALL OF THESE KHORNE FLAKES!"
"RETCONN THIS, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

>>49693186
>>49693967
Get these men a job.

Fantasy post SoC where Archaon is dead and Chaos can actually be defeated at great cost. The order forces simply must seize the opportunity before a new everchosen rises

>>49721385
Just the idea of an AU where everyone decides "chaos is fucked, time to take it out" would be entertaining.

Especially if it played out like the Worldwar books. Everyone still HATES each-other, but they have a common enemy.

>>49721385
The Panic of The remaining demons as they book back the Warp, and every Psyker suddenly falling on their asses unconscious looking like a space marine just punched them In the face (except for the Eldar, who were merely dazed, and had severe migraines) let the Allies forces know that their impossibly stupid plan had actually worked. And this ushered in the biggest (and likely only) multi-species, jubilation the small, unimportant plant of Gener had ever seen. Even the Necrons, satisfied with their, headed back home to breakout the Robo-moonshine.

The party lasted exceptionally long, at least an hour, before the Imperium, Tau, and Eldar forces rembered that they were all enemies who were supposed to hate each other, resulting in an army wide Mexican standoff. Since all sides were tired, wounded, hungry, and just wanted to be done with those shit, they were all able to talk each other down and leave peacefully, if distrustful and fearful of a sneak attack. Or at least, they would have, had not the Eldar, who were hardwired to be a bunch of complete dicks, started firing.

The resulting evacuation of all sides was the quintessential example of a cluster fuck, with each side running and gunning back to their ships, or in the Gaurds cases, the defences. UnSurprisingly, there minimal casualties through it all, as no one had any clue what was going on.

(5/?)

>>49721537
Results:
Chaos Is fucked into oblivion, Abbadon really is Armless now.

Unfortunately, the Plan for keeping the Tyranids busy didn't work out too as well, as the Imperium, Eldar, and even the Tau lost a fair few worlds to either Nids, Orkz, or Nids and Orkz fighting. However, It did buy buy them enough time to get rid of Chaos, and as a bonus they got to watch the DEldar get fucked by a sudden out of nowhere Ork "WAAAUGH", so they all had good chuckle and wrote it off as casualties of war.

The Imperium has killed off their greatest foe, but had lost a lot to the Tyranids and Orkz, and quite a few physkers and Navigators had died from simply being the wrong place of the Warp at the wrong time. However, the number of troops that would have to be purged for heretical desertion was lower than expected, as every one involved had found the Tau's happy-unity, outlook, and their insistence on bringing the Greater Good into every conversation insufferably annoying.

On the other hand, a schism began to form in the Adeptus Mechanicus over where or not adapting Xeno-tech counted as heresy, as everyone on Gener, including the Tech-priests, saw that pulse rifles easily outclasses shitty lasguns.

Ps. Gener is how I would going slowly bring AGP into official canon.

>>49721658
The Eldar would no longer have to fear getting raped up death by Slannesh. Though the Warp still had minor demons speckled here there, it was Chaos God-free. However, any hope of recovering the souls that Slannesh ate would be as destroyed as Slannesh and irrecoverable.

The Eye of Terror is still a goddamn mess, but it is slowly calming down, and one day may actually be livable again.

Meanwhile the Eldar now have their hands full keeping the Nids and Orkz off of their few remaining worlds, and building back up a sustainable population. This proves to be somewhat by an influx of DEldar refugees from Commoragh after it was hit by a Blitz-WAAUGH, promising to renounce their evil ways if they are allowed to come back.

(Also forgot to mention in Imperium results, the Emperor shows the first sign of movement in years as his mouth starts twitching into about looks like a smile, and the Sacrifice to the Angry Marines make them the New Ultrasmurfs/"Everone's favorite chapter")

>>49693163
I'd disconnect E-Money from the Golden Bidet.

>>49721774
For the Tau, the Heavy casualties on Gener, the loss of several worlds to Tyranids and Orkz, and the sacrifices on all sides, shocked and horrified the Tau Empire's public. To the Ethereals however, it was a grim wake-up call.

Though their conviction in the Greater Good had not been shaken, their faith in their methods faltered. The Galaxy was not the place that their ancestors had once thought it was when they looked towards the sky with a starry-eyed, child-like wonder. No, It was a bloody and deadly arena, where the horrible and terrible lurk, and where power to survive came at the Price of bits and peices of your soul.

The Ethereals hated this with every fiber of their being, but realizes that if they were to bring about the galaxy as they thought it should be, they would have to survive in it as it was now.

Taking from the examples of their elders, the Imperium and the Eldar, the Ethereals resolved that they would adapt to this game. Mercy and Morality would have to take a backseat to Practicality and Pragmatism. No Quarter must be shown, no weakness must exist. And Sacrifices... would have to be made. After all, what is so costly of a Small Evil, if it is done for the Greater Good?

>>49721658
>pulse rifles easily outclasses shitty lasguns

In every aspect except two.

One, you can make a million lasguns in a day with a dedicated manufactorium.

Two, no supply chain is needed for a lasgun.

WHFB: Retcon End Times and AoS, proceed with Storm of Chaos continuity: Archaon becomes an avatar of suffering as punishment for his failure by the Chaos Gods. Chaos once again divided.

40k:

Necrons = restore old lore.
Tau = become hardened by contact with the merciless cosmos, start to resemble concept art.
Imperium = less focus on Space Marines.

>>49694404
Le funny Matt Ward hate. The last book was the daemons army book 3 years ago, not a single codex he wrote is still in print. 1d4chan is fucking cancerous.

>>49721982
After witnessing the impossible on Gener, the Necrons had figured that that it was time to break out a case of the only thing that could make their robotic metal shells feel anything anymore: Necro-Shine.
Technically, it wasn't real moonshine, it wasn't even an Imbibable liquid. It was merely just a program that simulated the experience of drinking moonshine and getting drunk that a bored Necron lord had invented during a millenia long period of insomnia. But to the Necrons, it was close enough.

What the Necrons awoke to, besides a simulation of a hangover, was less than pleasing. It seemed that while the younger races were preoccupied with Chaos solution, those disgusting bugs, the Tyranids, had been allowed to spread dangerously far. What's more, is that those fungal freaks, the Orkz, now had a presence on nearly inhabitable world. If either were left unchecked, there would be dire consequences.

The Necrons would have loved to do nothing more than call it someone else's problem and go back to sleep, but these Infestations were too big of a threat to let roam free. Lazyness, idleness, and Apathy were what caused this in the first place. Now was the time to get out of their rocking chairs and get to fighting. The grox droppings had finally hit the ventilator.

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Jokaero are now the dominant race.

>>49693186
First post best post. Always.

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>>49698513
>Alternate warhammer fantasy where all the base cultures are switched around.
>The lizardmen are Egyptian based
>The empire is based on the Greeks/Romans
>The dwarfs are based on the Chinese

Sounds a lot like what Chronopia did

Although
Chaos is based on the Inquisition
Elves are based on Hanseatic Guild/ Mafia
Orcs are based on the Ottoman Empire

>>49721658
>On the other hand, a schism began to form in the Adeptus Mechanicus over where or not adapting Xeno-tech counted as heresy, as everyone on Gener, including the Tech-priests, saw that pulse rifles easily outclasses shitty lasguns.

Lasguns are shitty even by the AdMech's standards. They literally have the ability to make weapons better than boltguns (See: Galvanic Rifles) and give it to their footsloggers.

Xenotech schisms is a cool thing in the AdMech and all but don't base it off the presumption that the Mechanicus can't compete with Xenos for technology.

>>49724581
I picked pulse rifles because they were the tau analog of the standard lasgun, reliable and easy to mass produce, but it out performs it greatly. Never thought to compare it to bolters or the really big guns because you wouldn't be able give every one of the millions and millions of gaurdsmen one of those (at least I think so, unless the Mechanicus is REALLY holding out on the rest of the empire).

>>49724703
>reliable and easy to mass produce
While I agrre, that pulse rifles are great.
The regular lasgun is just insane regarding the noted two features.
As long there's enough sun light you have engless ammo. It's easy as fuck to produce, even Gue'la can do it and they are completely cut off from the Imperium.
And it can stay longer in some armory than the Tau civilization even exists, and still be ready to use in a fuck short time.

Which needed as they are the main weapon for an army so large, the guys keeping the records have no idea how big it is and supply lines that are long by the sheer size of the Imperium aswell as additional warp fuckery.

Pulse rifles on the other side are the main weapon of a comparable compact army operating in a relativly smal area. Their supply lines are far less messed up yet.

>>49725329
Actually, fair enough, it does make sense that an army as huge and spread and as the Imperial Gaurd would have much higher standard for "reliable" and "easy to mass produce".

Aight, so how would you suggest an Admech Xeno-tech Schism would start?

>>49726936
Not the guy you're talking to, but I'd like to think they found a dormant Necron and started tinkering with it.

>>49693163
Emp in chair creating 5 more superhumans. One of them is the chosen shark and the rest are only shards of the emp's power. 4 of them dies or falls into chaos (most powerful must have an obligatory death)

>>49728200
>grimdark

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>>49693163
I have actually had an idea of this for a while and it links into both universes (stay with me here).

Basically, it is a Heaven vs Hell setting with two main armies and many sub-factions among them. Basically, it is the beginning of the warp and it's very simple binary form between the realm of Heaven and the realm of Hell (there are others like Paradise and Limbo).

There would be main characters of God, Jesus, Gabriel, Michael with their armies of angels (standard angels, cherubim, seraphim, etc) and the demons like Satan, Moloch, Nergal Beelzebub, Belial and their armies of demons (Fallen Angels, succubi, incubi, Imp, etc).

The setting would be based on Paradise Lost and humankind's connection with the start of the warp creating the angels and demons. This later goes wrong due to war and Chaos and leads to both realms being destroyed and remade into the endless horror that is the current warp (Khorne, Nurgle and Tzeentch would be created with the Emperor having a cameo as early humans are being influenced from M1-M3) which wipes out all original traces of them. Other present religions would also be present.

Might be a bit controversial though.

>>49728552
Sorry, that should be Nergal and Beezlebub.

>>49693163
40K: Develop it a bit, roll forward the timeline heavily, maintain the "old warhammer" as an alternate play set of rules, with new models every so often.

The Emperor wakes up but isn't fully healed, starts giving orders from a mobile "throne fortress". Unifies much of the empire and its forces, strips out bureaucracy and religion, gets back to the work, doesnt get too depressed because he is the empire. Re-organises the space marines into the legions, some chapters combine to form their old legions, some form new legions, some new legions entirely, some old chapters remain for specific purposes. Less religous iconography, more art deco military frugality.

The Custodes form the centerpiece "Prime Legion" along with the end of the Grey Knights and loyal Inquisition, a surprising number of whom understood the ecclesiarchy was full of crap. The Prime Legion guard the Throne Fortress, but some are sent out to guide and train the new legions.

Half the empire promptly turns traitor, saying the Awakened Emperor is a heretic and the "real emperor" has become a real god in the warp, the "God King of Humanity". The "God King" promptly pops into existence in the warp and starts ordering them around. 5th chaos faction is "the new god of humanity" his followers call themselves something like "The Pure Golden Kingdom", think the inquisition+witch hunters except their faith manifests as magic and can summon "angels" now, except they are fucked up biblical angels, wheels within wheels covered in eyes and human-like beings of fire covered in wings and shit. Abbadon turns traitor to chaos, joins up with the "The Pure Golden Kingdom". Many chaos undivided space marines join too. Since the "God King" slides into the place in their minds where the Emperor was, and hence bypasses their wards tattoos, most grey knights join too. Religous shit gets turned up to 11.

>>49731075
Many more (and most loyal to specific gods) conquer human systems, carving out a chunk of the splitting empire into a third human faction (that takes the place of Chaos Space Marines, though you can still make all CSM armies easy peasy), "Humanity Divided" or whatever. Uneasy truce of Empire and "Golden Kingdom of Humanity" grows more strained but still encouraged to ally on the tabletop. The Emperor re-starts the legions, some are new, most are a mix of chapters. Some sisters of battle fall to chaos, but all to chaos undivided. Not that-guy-tier slannesh shit, beyond whats already there.

The Eldar rally around a group of Exodites who managed to work a piece treaty with the mysterious Slann, who hid their colonized systems while they built in strength. Now they have revealed themselves and many Craftworlds rally to them. Pooling knowledge and skill, teaching and learning equally, they greatly advance wraithbone technology. Wraithbone cyborgs now.

The Harlequins recombine with many craftworlds, and together work out webway shit. New eldar faction based around the Dark Library, with craftworlds INSIDE the webway and Eldar living in the webway. Vehicles that can pop in and out of the webway, more psychic stuff, Harlequins now lead this faction of Eldar. They call themselves "The Bards".

Dark Eldar keep Dark Eldaring, except they capture a craftworld or two, and turn them into moving mini-Commorraghs, with portals to the actual Commorragh and start raiding the human factions large scale, and create armies out of their new slaves.

>>49731095
Tyranids eat some more weird aliens, create some new subspecies of warriors but also start creating mysterious "mind planets", world sized balls of greymatter that the hungry hive fleets must feed and fortify, but give them the ability to travel the warp. They probably ate a Black Ship or some shit. Either way, upgraded tyranids with a home base in our galaxy, working out warp based long distance fast travel. Dangerous if they get it pan galactic and bring in more fleets.

Tau have a revolution, kill most Ethereals, work out the secret (whatever it was). All classes now have equality and can take any job/role, giving us more tabletop variety. Kroot and Vespid and Demiurg take a new place of honour in the socialist democratic tau republic.Maybe light exoskeletons and more ai-robot-warriors can now be a thing. For the greater good, for realsies this time.

ORKS IS ORKS! WARGHHH! Except a few new tribes based on mimicking the new factions a bit. Some Snakebites encounter Tyranids and try to domesticate them after they work out they copy what they eat, and herd gretchin and squigs into the feeding pools. They get Squig-Dragons. Some Mekboys have new ideas, that all other mekboys soon share. Goff Rockers branch out to become Ork Rockers, a new form of Wierdboy who channel Gork and Mork through Eadbangin.

Necrons work out bioengineering well enough to make new Necronty bodies. Necrontyr turn out to look like a cross between the Aliens from Alien and Predators, keep up that 80's action-horror synergy. They capture and EAT the Deceiver and Nightbringer, and the descendants of those who did the consuming become Necrontyr Sorcerers powered by their ancestors having consumed their gods. Who may or may not still control them. Keep up the Egyptian theming but add some Sourcerer blood powered technology and a sacrifice fetish, mix in some mesoamerica and aztec blood sacrifice to keep it fresh. Most still in robot-form while their race expands itself.

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>>49716667
I like the way you think.

>>49693163
WARHAMMER FANTASY: Cycle forwards a few hundred years. Some of the factions unite into larger allied factions, new ones fill out the world map so we get a few main human factions and some new monster factions, re work the chunks of the map that were literally just "africa, india, south east asia" into being more fantasy-ish. Technology advances so we can focus on a wider area at the same level of detail, fantasy aircraft (zeplins, biplanes) now important, start off techno-magic.

>>Old world factions unite into "Old Union" Including Estalia, Tilia, Bandit Kingdoms, and the remainder of the Dwarf etc. Fantasy EU. Dwarfs start to create Magitech, immediately make Dwarfish runic internet. There is a rune-based /tg/ in their somewhere. Dwarfish rune magitech leads to industrialization of magic, making them eminent faction in the union, despite their relatively low numbers.

>>Skaven get their shit together and go full world domination. Only the fact that they forget places other than the Old World and New World exist fucks them up, as the new human factions come in in a big event and beat them out of the underground. Skaven now mainly live in giant warpstone sky fortresses, and keep trying to build rockets to the moon for some reason.

>>Norsca figures out music-magic and get a better handle on deamons by controlling them with magic heavy metal. Still just as dangerous, except Norsca society flourishes a bit. Greek style city states, except they are heavy metal vikings. Some hobgoblins ally with them too because riding wolves are metal.

>>49731575
>>Vampire counts fully industrialize with an undead workforce, becoming a force to be reckoned with. Necromancy advances, missile troops are now a thing. In the great war many Empire nobles turn

>>Nagash comes back, Tomb Kings join together to set of a magic nuke, annihilating him again, for a while. Turns undead lands into magi-nuclear crater, surrounding perfectly undamaged black pyramid.

>>Tomb Kings join up with Araby, for the high price of the secret of Undeath. Unified living/Undead faction, with anyone rich enough buying imortality. They got the whole arabian knights thing going on on top of the Tomb Kings egypt stuf.

>>New human faction: Fantasy Kashmir, Indo-Pakistan, based on the ancient culture that came before both IRL, their thing is capturing and enslaving deamons with magic but not being all chaos-ey. They have a small pantheon of "weaker" but more numerous sigmar-alikes with a reincarnation gimmick. Very Vedic.

>> Dark elves interbreed with native tribes in the new world, create new "grey elves" that promptly slaughter most dark elves because they have magic now and are less stupid than Malekith thought, new "first nationns/native american elves" faction, lots of half elves. They keep the dinosaur riding gimick, that was cool.

>>49731586
>>High Elves work out how to reproduce more via half-elves, ulthuan now sparsely populated, Albion full of half elves in magic cities, lots of dark elf migrants, because being a Dark Elf kind of sucked

>>The remainder of the Dark Elves ally with the Chaos Dwarfs and Hobgoblins to create a fantasy russian empire in the middle of the map in the Dark Lands. Kislev joins in, Tzarina marries Malekith who thinks he is just getting Kislev as slaves till she freezes him to his new throne with ice magic. Fantasy Russia is Go. Lots of Half Elves here too, and Chaos Dwarf Tech. Hobgoblins actually get on okay with people.

>>Orcs and Goblins are defeated by the Old World Union, and pushed into the worlds edge mountains, where they mix with the Ogre Kingdoms, who hate the new development of the Dark Elf/Vampire/Undead/Hobgoblin empire.

>> New human faction, great alliance of 34 provinces of fantasy china, each with its own bureaucracy. Constantly at each others throats. Allied stayed allied after the skaven war to fight/resist the fantasy USSR, but they didnt go away so they stayed allied. For now. Each nation contributes some troops, lots of rivalry, lots of different martial arts and blackpowder weaponry. Includes many Dwarfs as equal members of society, lots of Dwarf clans.

>> Lizardmen and Humans in the new world link up to fight off the Skaven and stay linked up. Become a nation of Mayincaztec Pirates. Shut up its cool.

>>49731600
>>> Brettonia combines with Wood Elves into last new Half Elf faction, Brettonia becomes one big forest filled with tree castles. They create the worlds strongest navy, made up of living ships grown from trees, a powerfull air force based around living tree zepplin carriers holding Pegasus and eagle rider sky knights. Diplomatic problems with the Old Union due to a now even bigger wild hunt. The growth of the forest helps that one mad ancient treeman become sane again, he becomes the best friend of the new half elf king, and carries him into battle on his shoulder. They get the whole living wood technology thing, living crossbows and trebuchets are NASTY accurate. Most non-sky knights become Green Knights under the command of THE Green Knight. Then forest brettonia starts crusading to expand the forest even more.

>>49731700
>>Forest Crusade
>>ARBOR VULT

>>49731075
I'd like this as it has two 'good' factions who could ocassionally skirmish.

Also it would be cool if the new tech emperor could make genetically enhanced primarch-like warriors out of the strongest space marines or worthy human warriors while the angels are prophets or other heroes of legend who coalesce around relics and myths. Also the worship faction could take advantage of the various different cults to form thousands of different kinds of angels and angelic phenomena with unique cultural abilities.

Alternate warhammer fantasy. The Empire and other human nations are chaos civilizations. Noble barbarians worshipping the other gods roam the northern plains, battling with orcs and fighting off the chaos crusades into their territory.

The Empire is chaos undivided, where all 4 gods are worshipped. Bretonnia is a nation given over completely to khorne, Araby to Tzeentch, Tilea to Slaanesh and Estalia has become a foetid realm of Nurgle.

Instead of Chaos dwarfs, have human worshippers of Hashut. They're pretty much the dark reflection of the empire and are just as advanced, but with the advantage of bound daemon weapons and artillery. They take slaves from all over the east and allow conquered armies to fight alongside them. They're pretty much chaos dwarfs+the persians from 300, lead by powerful sorcerer prophets who don't turn into stone.

After quite a few millenia of studying and planning, Magnus finally manages to break the shackles of Tzeentch upon him and a few of his TS. However, he remains a daemon and the Imperium wouldn't just accept him as he is.
As such, he and his TSes sneak in and control the Blood Ravens from behind, slowly starting a long series of power plays to eventually be the controlling force behind the Imperium.
And there's two main targets for it. Space Wolves, and the Grey Knights (The latter if only because they are the psyker SM chapter that Magnus had always wanted his TSes to be).

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>>49731075
>Using the Warp in a unique and inventive way that uses the whole "Beings are created by belief in them" quality in ways beyond just "Bleh! We're Demons created by your sin".

Bitchin'. Too bad GW will never do something this cool.

>>49722151
That was a satirical jab, ya git.

But if you wanna get serious anyway: most of the fluff he wrote is still atrocious, and he's still responsible for some of the cheesiest rules in 40K history.

And all of this is still relevant, because he got rehired by GeeDubs last summer.