ITT: Things one can find in an abandoned tower of a lvl 20 wizard.

>>49621497
hentai doujins

>>49621497
His mother, who happens to own this tower.

>>49621497

The tower abandoned by the wizard when he was level 19, which contains the tower he abandoned at level 18, which contains the tower he abandoned at level 17...

>>49621497
Ice Cold Mountain Dew

>>49621533
Each of which is contained in a snow globe on the current level-tower's desk. You'll need to shrink yourself down progressively smaller to access each snowglobe.

>>49621563
That actually sounds like a fun dungeon crawl.

>>49621497
Cool Mountain Ranch Dewritos

>>49621584
Until the wizard forgets you're in there and starts playing with his desk toys.

>>49621560
A bucket that continuously fills itself up with this.

A ring that projects his image to anywhere in the world, so that he doesn't have to leave to talk to people.

Elevators. Magic elevators.

An excessive number of gemstones everywhere.

At least one skeleton, used as a coathook for guests.

>>49621497
Commoner railgun compactly packed in a spiral staircase directed at the place, where legendary third moon rumored to exist once.

Cutlery from the Titanic. Preserved and wall-mounted heads of two grey aliens. Tissue sampling will confirm them to be genuine heads. A copy of Hobbit signed by the author. A perfectly functional 120mm mortar with a crate of ammunition. One Roman spearhead dated some time after 30AD. One partially preserved skeleton of a Tasmanian wolf.

>>49621497
An entire genetics lab geared toward producing monster girls.

>>49621497
A bathtub. Never used.

>>49621497
A single bowl of nachos. Always full and always in edible state.

>>49621529

>Come upon a cottage with an old woman
>Offers cookies and other amazing baked goods.
> Is actually a Hag in disguise, will allow the players to leave if they can go into the basement and remove the wizard.
> Basement is actually reverse underground wizard tower; Wizard is neckbeard wizard who refuses to leave.

>a lone wizard tower stands in the middle of poisonous wasteland dotted by ruins full of deadly monsters
>on the top floor of the tower lies a withered husk wearing wizard robes
>next to it lies a journal
>last entry says "What could possibly go wrong?"

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Great demon trapped in a holy circle.
Great angel trapped in an unholy circle.
What appears to be a statue of a legendary warrior, is in fact petrified remains of legendary warrior.
Mithral automaton roomba, still cleaning the place.
Animated chess board, black pieces move on their own.
Spare floppy hats.
Decanter of Endless Water and a tub.
Enchanted cabinet of Purify Food and Drink. (Still has fresh meals inside.)

>>49621497
A huge ant farm made from indestructible magic glass and populated by various species of sapient anthropomorphic insects who have their own tiny civilizations. In order to find an ancient Mac of Guffins party is after they must shrink themselves and travel this magic realm.

>>49621497
Stately and richly decorated robes, embroidered and seared with runes of great and terrible power resting on a manniquin. A circle of six caged stars along it's brow and THE rings Dawnsealer and Duskbringer have been placed on it's wooden hands. Eyes tracing the delicate fractal patterns that begin to sting the eyes flow down to the winged boots at the floor, even left unused for so long you can tell at a glance they wish to leap into the sky once more.
The actual wizard then shuffles around the corner in a dressing gown and fuzzy tarrasque slippers blearily looking around while clutching a steaming mug of some foul concotion that was probably once coffee.

>"Hmmnh, that? Don't touch it, it doesn't like other people. Ate the last knight.. where was I? Oh yes, those are my old adventuring wossnames.. robes, that's it. Bad touch, very messy. Got a couple other er.. thingies.. relics? Artefacts? Bugger it, we always called it just plain loot, me and Bronzebeard.. how time flies.. well what are you lot still doing here? You came to plunder my old tower didn't you? Get on with it then, ten hells know I did the same at your level- er, age, probably anyway. Can't remember how old I was, think I had elven ancestry back then... or was that the doppelganger? Bah! And damnit yes, there ARE ten hells. Well, there were anyway. Look, just get on with it and I'll take these robes with me back home."

>>49621497

The scrolls and 'cursed' items that enable that wizards magical realm, hidden in a box labled 'taxes' under his bed.

>>49621497

A dakkimakura with a picture of one of the PC's with high charisma and low armor class.

>>49621497
A stuffed and mounted gnome and a pickled imp in a jar.

A tiny perpetual motion machine. It's being used to power a desk toy.

A book with an infinite number of very thin pages. Once you lose your spot, you can never find it again.

Old correspondence from other powerful wizards.

Obligatory "The wizard himself, trapped by a spell he cast wrong"

Tower of the Stargazer, for Lamentations of the Flame Princess, is an entire adventure centered around this idea.

>>49621816
I'd play it.

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>>49621693
And did he succeed?

>>49625173
no sadly but he did create owlbears and the vizzerdrix

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>>49625266
Eh, we all know that humans are the best race.