Oozes

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I don't want to see any lewd jellies.

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My favorite, Gelatinous Cube.

>>49606150
I don't see anything. The image must not have loaded. It's probably sa-

>>49606150
It ate your post, and my comment by extension

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Here's a slime that looks like a dinner.

>>49606150
SHIT LADS IT ESCAPED RUN FOR YOUR LI

>>49607834
I have such a science boner right now

>>49606027
I just had a weird idea: This ooze is only moderately caustic, intelligent, and parasitic. It engulfs small animals, like rats, birds, lizards, and the like, and uses their nervous systems to, "speak," to the extent of the animal's vocal ability. Its caustic nature burns through hair and skin easily, but chokes on muscle and nerve, meaning that it gets a decent amount of use out of each one.

The one pictured is actually abnormally large for the type, with most not getting too much larger than the creatures they use.

Thoughts?

>>49607834
What's going on here?

>>49608802
Magnetic putty

>>49608802
Magnetic putty

>>49607812
Gelatin salads were dark times in the 50's. It's like flavor genocide

>>49608841
>>49608844
I still don't understand what's causing the flipping and torsion.

>>49608897
Probably something like the poles moving from the irregular spread of putty, and then being flipped when one side outweighs the other by a large enough margin. The torsion is probably a side-effect.

>>49608897
It's also alive.

>>49608764
If its caustic enough to do skin its not gonna flinch at muscle and nerves. Remember, skin is their to PROTECT that shit. It'd be like saying shit can eat my fullplate but not me.

>>49609042
How about if the outside is more corrosive than the inside, sort of like having a highly caustic outer layer to burn off impurities, with a slower, more thorough interior to make the substances it can eat last longer?

So, it burns off the skin and hair, and it partially passes it to the inside, and the inside very slowly eats away at the rest while it holds the parts that it needs, the head and vocal cords, outside, but not in contact with the exterior layer.

>>49609112
If you want to go full on actual science/nature levels of disgusting you could have it that it is still very mild but that once it engulfs a creature it utilizes the natural opening of the anus to get at the tender but ultimately not immediately fatal internal organs and feeds on those while, and now we divert from reality, it somehow connects to the nervous system/less digestible muscles to do the whole puppeteer act.

>>49609210
It could be a type of lymph or collection of nerve cells itself for that last bit, capable of attaching to another creature's nervous system.

>>49609210
>>49609240
If we're going this science, it can make sounds, but probably the only sounds its heard any animal make is shrieking, which isn't going to attract more animals.

It wouldn't work on people because it would only learn screaming and swear words. Communication would be non-existent.

>>49608802
Magnetic putty

>>49609288
Well, yeah, it would be like a gruesome, slimy parrot. It would hear other sounds, but mostly it would be just repeating whatever it heard, like chittering, squeaking, screeching, or whatever the noises the animal it has made in life.

If it was especially clever and raised by humans, it might be able to communicate a little bit, but only basic concepts, like that one parrot that, when a baby near it started to choke, freaked out and started flying around screaming, "mama, baby," over and over until the person watching the child checked on it.

Except, y'know, crawling around on the walls and ceiling, repeating a handful of words in a way that about half-way makes sense.

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>>49606009

>>49609210
>>49609338
I'd just go for a viral/fungal infection that starts with the soft tissue around the eyes. The slime doesn't so much directly target the victim so much as physical/neurological changes wrought by the disease alter the victim's behavior.

Most of the associated behaviors might be mating/spawning related. So the slime could use the victim's nose to sniff out mates or spawning instincts to find nesting grounds and vulnerable young/eggs.

Ooze probably has an early bit of life cycle where it needs to be ingested.

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>>49606027
>I don't want to see any lewd jellies.

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>>49608876

They date back to the medieval periods - it was not uncommon for the upperclasses to eat jellies made using gelatin that contained vegetables and chunks of meat and weird cold sauces in them.

>>49610612
People still eat aspic. On purpose. Culture is weird.

>>49610612
Apsic looks like someone's jellied vomit. It never looks appetizing

>>49610717
>>49610658
You guys have probably never had good or proper aspic as thats incredibly labor intensive for the modern person.
Ex: i hand make chaud-froid if i'm hosting or going to a BYOF party and everyone runs over eachother for a slice before its gone.

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>>49610582
Lewdest Jelly.

How much do gelatinous cubes weigh?

>>49611168
Chaud-froid sounds awfully close to schadenfreude.

Honestly, I've never had aspic, and I have no desire to eat it. I don't even like jell-o with fruit in it. It's the texture. I might gag if I eat a gelatin that's salty with floaty meat chunks in it.

>>49606027
>Says he doesn't want to see any lewd jellies.
>Posts pic of a dick so big it cums mice.

>>49612625
Aspic is just gelatin derived from meat stock or consommé. It taste mostly like nothing with a hint of whatever meat it was made of. Thats it, you can however shove anything inside it and its still considered Aspic.
You are talking about shitty gelatin sheets or powder gelatin with crap filling you'd find in a poundcake.
Real aspic usually has some sort of meat or blended meats inside and maybe some tasteful fruits like ground ham with apple cubes and blueberries or beef and strawberries or ham and beef with some sweet cranberry sauce ontop etc. etc.
It only sucks when you shove 8 different fruits inside it and some meat and none of it compliments the others.

>>49606009
>>49607797
Now I'm hungry

>>49610612
Dating back to medieval times or not, the 50's somehow made aspic even worse than it already is

>>49613591
Post more 50's food atrocities.

>>49607797
>when you come home from work and your gelatinous cube is waiting at the door for you

>>49615151

I'm convinced that the kinds of cookbooks in the 50s that detailed these kinds of gelatin atrocities were never meant to be cooked/prepared.

Considering how frequently and seemingly randomly certain ingredients come up (canned sliced pineapple, maraschino cherries, spanish olives, salmon...) in inappropriate recipes, it almost seems like a code. The repetition of ingredients and consistent preparation methods lead me to believe that these were actually code books for Soviet sleeper agents.

Ingredients, cook times, publications... all these factor into creating a code book which can be interpreted by a Soviet agent in the know. How would you get these books into the hands of Soviet agents? Well, at the time it'd be relatively easy to publish a short run print book and just make sure your agents know to buy from certain publishers.

How is a counter-intelligence organization going to know which of the two thousand or so people who bought or were sent a copy is the real agent? You can send your secret instructions and signals to widespread agents without attracting suspicion, because only your select few agents would be able to figure out or even be aware of your methods. Of course, this means that the recipes in the book are horrific garbage on a plate, but anyone who actually prepares that stuff is just acceptable collateral damage.

Now consider that the popularity of these books seemed to spike in popularity in the 50s and died off in the late 80s...

But it could just be that everyone was smoking and drinking to excess in the 50s, so everyone's tastebuds were fried and no flavors save the strongest could be detected.

>>49615151
Cracked has a series on them, called something like 'X Horrible Foods Your Grandparents Ate (Taste-tested)'.

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>>49615151
i got u senpai

>>49608764
I've read a SF story with a somewhat similar concept. There's a slime organism that after engulfing a prey animal, keeps its brain an nervous dystem alive, giving it the benefits of having a higher nervous system without needing to go through a hassle of growing one itself.
Some explorer on the planet falls into the ooze and gets assimilated, and has to figure how to survive as a blob of slime. He finds the slime can grow sensory organs and appendages if he concentrates hard enough, and by the end of the story he's got good enough control over it to shape it into a slime replica of his own body.

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>>49619001
what goes well with bananas? how about shaved hobo flesh and melted crayons?

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>>49618992
Ah, here we are. Featuring such classics as the Liver Sausage Pineapple, Ham & Bananas Hollandaise, Candle Salad, and pic related.

http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/7-gross-foods-your-grandparents-ate-that-we-taste-tested/
http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/6-gross-thanksgiving-foods-your-grandparents-ate-we-tested/
http://www.cracked.com/article_21958_7-disgusting-foods-from-past-that-we-taste-tested.html

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>>49619007
we've strayed beyond the realms of sanity

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>>49619014

>The liquor's doing the baking now, Randy.

>>49619106
If you've never cooked drunk you're missing on something beautiful.

>>49607835
HOLY SHIT WAS IT CANDLEJ-

There's an ancient family cookbook that got passed down from generation to generation on my mother's side.

There's a recipe for turtle soup in it. WHY there is a recipe for turtle soup in it is a mystery, since turtles aren't exactly common here.

It starts something like this (translated poorly)...
>Taketh a turtle
>Put water on the fire and heathet up an iron ladle
>When the water is boiling, take the ladle and smack the poor sod on the head
>Repeateth until soul departs

>>49619163
Oddly enough i have a similar deal right down to the turtle soup though we're natives so that could explain why we have such a recipe.
Goes
1. Find turtle
2. Find non-snapping turtle and morn lost fingers later
3. Kick the fucking until he pops his head into his shell
4. Play hide and seek with the turtle head, the knife point is the seeker.
5. Boil
6. Enjoy.

It also had like 80 fucking aspic recipes from the 50's as well. Oh, and damn near every recipe calls for PURE lard.

>>49619163
IIRC before people invented refrigeration Turtle was an incredibly popular luxury food, since it was exotic, tasty, and could be transported live across the ocean without much difficulty. So your cookbook might be from an era when people might have a turtle shipped in for their fancy dinner party.

>>49619244
Other anon here. Really? How the shit did turtle become "exotic"? Cause i can just throw 10 dead lines with corn kernels into the Mississippi, take a nap, and come back an hour later to fresh turtle.

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>>49606009

>>49619259
Turtles aren't native to most of Europe, so they'd be more exotic there.

>>49619259
Exotic in Europe I mean.
>>49619297
Beat me to it.

>>49619303
>>49619297
Ah.

>>49608802
Magnetic putty

>>49607834
>become one with my anus

>>49619297
They're actually fairly common in most of Southern Europe.

>>49619163
>since turtles aren't exactly common here.
Not anymore, you meant.

Post lewd jellies

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>>49618973
t. pic related

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>>49619729
I have webms of nearly every significant appearance of Suu.
Also have a very large (SFW) slimegirl folder.

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>>49621532
So if there's any sort of thing you want in particular, I can take a look before my lunchbreak is over.

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>>49621601
How lewd were you talkin' anyhow?

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From the Towergirls: Conquest team, the first October sketch.

V1.

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>>49622162
V2.

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>>49609042
Rust monsters.

>>49621532
Wait...

This is a fucking anime!?

>>49622413
Yes.

https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Life_With_Monstergirls

>>49619141
Don't you have to say Candlejack's name for him to get y