At the request of either a curious Inquisitor, or perhaps the

Dark Angels or Deathwatch drop a stasis bomb on his ass.

>>49525878

Death Watch Dark angels

>>49525923
Deathwatch Consecrator Inner Circle Dark Angels

>>49526259

But can they defeat madara? And im not talking ab...

>>49525878
I'm not sure that would work. The Shrike has unparalleled time traveling ability.

>>49526474
>The Shrike travels back in time and becomes The Emprah.

>>49525822

>How many of them die before they give up the task as impossible?

I would think they learnt their lesson about fucking with the Shrike after that mess with the Ordo Chronos.

>>49526641
To be fair, the Ordo's Chonos might be the ones to defeat The Shrike, seeing as their own self destruction took place across all time, and that any inquisitor from when the Chronos was still stable could jump in time and slap Shrike's ass with a statis bomb before he can say a word.

>>49527214
I really don't think the shrike could be affected by stasis.

>>49525822

>trying to capture science-fiction's equivalent to the Lady of Pain

Good luck with that.

>>49526474
He can't do that if he is literally suspended in his own separate timestream. Once you get hit by stasis, you don't get out.

>>49530443
He already has his own separate timestream. He goes to that.

>>49530452
How. In stasis it takes ages to do anything. By the time he can even think to do that millennia will have past, probably longer.

>>49530615
The mistake you made was thinking that 'millennia' means anything to the shrike

>>49530681
It does mean something to everybody else as it means that for all of civilization the Shrike will be locked in a box, only escaping after the End of Times, and that's if he still exists at that point.

File: colonel vs shrike.jpg (401KB, 750x844px) Image search: [Google]

401KB, 750x844px

What if instead the Shrike having a copy of the mind of Colonel Fedmahn Kassad it had the mind of the Emporer within its metal skull?
The 40K version of the Shrike would probably have been built by the Adeptus Mechanicus to house the mind/soul of the Emperor once he finally kicks the bucket in the 50K's.
Or at least a copy of his mind while The Emperors soul is busy reincarnating in the future.

>>49525878
Now he only moves at twice lightspeed rather than ten times. PCs all die anyway.

>>49525822
Considering that most regular FORCE infantry could probably go toe to toe with some of the finest and most powerful space marines, and the shrike can brutalize them while still taking it's sweet fucking time enough to make sure none of them are too dead to shove onto it's tree, I really doubt the imperium could do shit about it.

Isn't it technically a child of two actual deities? Not 40k tier giant space ghost deities, but actual, omnicient, omnipotent gods?

>>49530716
Not really, because he can just go back to when he got locked in the stasis box. Not to mention the fact we have no evidence that he requires time to think of anything, so he might just go back to his time stream them return to the normal one in an instant.

>>49531089
That is affirmative, although they're called 'UI's (Ultimate Intelligences) in universe. One is the ultimate creation of artificial intelligence, created by the technocore and capable of measuring all variables, and the other is the ultimate realization of human emotion, beauty, wonder, and spirit

So just use your imagination for what something created by both those being could do

>>49528261
Hmm...uncomfortable realization.
I really like the Shrike. Not as, like, a character to be seen bopping around in other stuff, but, I just really like it within the context of the Hyperion stories.
But I absolutely loathe the Lady of Pain.
What am I doing wrong?

>>49531131
Really the shrike is more of a plot device/force of nature so it's not really fare to pit things against it like its just some big spiky monster

>>49531360
Shrike is an interesting and decently thought out plot device that doesn't seem all that jarring given the context within the universe. Lady of Pain is writer fiat that exists to prevent certain things and that's it, it's not particularly well integrated into the surrounding universe.

>>49530615

Yes. So he is trapped in place in stasis for thousands of years, timeshifts out of stasis, and then proceeds to time travel back in time again until he reaches the point where you stasis bombed his ass and keeps going.

In doing so, you have actually made your life worse. Because as soon as you turn around from putting it in stasis, you will have an angry torture machine that hated humanity as a concept before but now hates you PERSONALLY for inconveniencing it, and Shrike activity in the future will now be double.

All of the shrike activity that triggered this mission in the first place is the second shrike that just turned your ass into confetti traveling backwards in time to its target destination. But that means that, on all days between now and the far future it hails from, there are now TWO shrikes traveling backwards in time: the shrike on its original path, and the shrike returning from the detour you forced it on.

So you have bought yourself nothing, and made everyone's problems twice as bad for your trouble.

>>49525822

Obviously, they succeed but at tremendous cost, because otherwise you don't have a story.

>>49533330

>You can't have a story about a failed endeavor, the meaningless death of your battle-brothers, and the recriminations that go all around for being sent on this fool's errand in the first place.


Honestly, it would be a refreshing change of pace.

le ebin unbeatable nigh omnipotent character

much interesting
very quality storytelling

>>49531346
>the Shrike is also half star-vampire / half-dragonkin level of snowflake

what? i guess i never read that far. book was a bit dull.

but seriously? he's a super robot AND a time traveler AND half-space-jesus?

well if we can use metaphysical handwavery, then there are thousands of ways to defeat the shrike.

let's start with "time is an illusion."

i win

>>49525822

Nobody here has actually read hyperion because that would leave less time to read 40k wank.

>>49534714
>Nobody here reads good sci-fi.
Hyperion is fucking amazing.

>>49533748
Welcome to 40k.

>>49535516
This thread has put the thirst to reread Hyperion and Fall of Hyperion again. Too bad there aren't any other books set in that universe after Fall of Hyperion oh well what a shame

>>49535657
Are you saying Endymion and the other suck? I guess I'll skip them in that case.

>>49526474
Space Marines have canonically already faced off against time traveling armies and have succeeded, an entire branch of the Inquisition handles that shit as well.

>>49528207
>Believing your self immune to something that even stops demons, beings that literally defy time and space.

Ctan already exist and they have been defeated, Lords of Change exist and they have fallen. The Shrike isn't anywhere near that tier of crazy. The Deathwatch will handle just fine.

>>49533676
Read ANY elder codex

>>49535871
They dont suck, anon. They are just... different.

>>49536003
A lot of people like to wank the existence of the Ordos Chronos as some kind of secret elite timecops, the the fact of the matter is that they are pretty fucking irrelevant.

They know that Warp travel can result in occasional timescrews, but they are utterly powerless to predict or control that phenomenon, and have no other means of controlling time themselves. Their job is just to try and minimize the damage of these potential paradoxes when they occur, but their ability to do so basically boils down to

"Oh, you are from 8 years in the future? Okay. We are going to put you in a box for the next 8 years and 1 day, and you can't come out until then. That should prevent you from fucking anything up, right?"

Anyone with the actual ability to time-travel can buttfuck them nine ways from Tuesday.

>>49536003
>>Believing your self immune to something that even stops demons, beings that literally defy time and space.
>Ctan already exist and they have been defeated, Lords of Change exist and they have fallen. The Shrike isn't anywhere near that tier of crazy. The Deathwatch will handle just fine.


"Whaah! How could you beat teh ULTIMATE 40K BADASSES OF BADASSNESS?"

>>49525822
Who is this chump and why should I care?

>>49534714
I've read Hyperion, kwatz!

>>49535871

Really the deciding factor is how well you can stomach a somewhat mushy romance. Honestly I thought they were kind of cute.

>>49535871
>>49536128
>>49539036
The premise of how they are written is pretty awesome. They are narrated by a man writing a journal that resets with every page so he has no idea where in the story he is at any given time as he writes it and he is in a literal Schrodinger's cat box in space

>>49531089
>Considering that most regular FORCE infantry could probably go toe to toe with some of the finest and most powerful space marines,

A squad of FORCE faggots could take on a whole chapter sans spaceships tbqh

>>49535871
You should check them out. They're worth reading.

>>49540155
Yeah this, the technology level in Hyperion is actually crazy high, even compared to 40k. It just doesn't seem so because at least some of it is still grounded in real physics

>>49525822
Every last one

>>49525822
>How many of them die before they give up the task as impossible?

All of them.

>>49542513
Nah. There's numerous Librarians who could just one-shot-one-kill the Shrike.

>>49525822
>Tell the Shrike he's a pussy who doesn't have the guts to fight you face to face
>wait for him to arrive and prepare to smite you
>activate vortex grenade and suck both of you into the Warp
>laugh as Slaanesh makes him his/her new toy
>?????
>FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

>>49525878
Stasis bombs still need to move to their destination and detonate, anon. Unless the Shrike sits arounds scratching its ass until that happens (which would never happen, it's a teleporting, time-traveling ADHD machine) stasis bombs would do as little as krak grenades to it.

To beat the Shrike, warp fuckery is required. Though how you're going to trick it into leaving realspace is beyond me.

>>49534714
I swear these faggots would argue that 40k could take on the Xeelee.

40K speed mehreens can defeat the Judeo-Christian God easily. The Shrike is shit. Culture a shit. TTGL a shit. A standard bolter is the most efficient weapon in all fiction.

>>49543461
Could the Shrike beat the Xeelee?

>>49543461

You know what I would like to see? 40k IoM vs the "Hindu Pantheon" in Lord of Light. The problem is, everything in Lord of Light is described so weirdly and in such mythic overtones it's hard to figure out what they can actually do and what's just imagery overlaying something rather mundane.

But it would be awesome to watch an attempted invasion.

>>49536997
>Stasis grenades
>But that won't work
>Works against daemons who don't even have physical forms
So why couldn't a stasis grenade stop him?

>>49544605
Time/Interdimensional Travel. Trapping him in time makes as much sense as trapping a bird in air.

>>49544465

From what I know of the Shrike, there is no way. But he might have some powers from the other books I haven't read.

>>49544625
Once you are in a stasis field you can't escape, psychic powers and time travel included.

>>49525822
What is the point of having a character that is unbeatable? There's no drama to this scenario. Characters like this just remind me of really bad edgy teen rp.

>teleports behind you
>heh, nuthin personnel kid

>>49544868
It's a plot device.

>>49544868
The shrike isn't a character

And also it is beatable, just not by people in the time in which the story takes place, the thing is a time traveler after all. Not to mention colonel fedmahn Kassad put up a pretty good fight all by himself, and when he goes to the future he encounters an army of shrikes. So they must be beatable, somewhere, sometime

>>49544898
>>49545044
Fine, plot device then. You might as well ask how many space marines would hurl themselves into the sun and die before they stop. It is still seems pointless.

>>49545194
That's the point, it's bait to get the spess mureen shitters in here so they're not posting in other threads. :^)

>>49545412
That's retarded. Why do you hate 40k so much that you have to make a stupid bait thread just to piss off people who enjoy it? Let me guess:

>for the lulz super kek, so randum :^)

>>49526641
On a different point I've just read an Ordo Chronos entry in lexicanum and it says that " In extremely rare circumstances vessels may even arrive back into realspace at a time before they actually set out". It actually occurred to me that if you destination point is far enough traveling this way doesn't have to lead to all those pesky time travel paradoxes. Cool.

>>49544599

Yeah - that would be pretty interesting. Taking things literally, they have remarkable potential.

While Heaven (Yama) isn't interested in mass-production of their technology, what they have should be enough to ward off an initial probe - assuming Agni is alive - and give them some time.

>>49545533
Because 40K fans won't stop blabbing about it. They never give an inch, concede a point, or admit there's anything else in fiction that could possibly defeat their chosen fanwank.

>>49547460

Halo vs Naruto vs 40k vs RWBY: The Wank Never Ends

File: screaming.gif (745KB, 300x166px) Image search: [Google]

745KB, 300x166px

>>49547510
JESUS CHRIST HOW HORRIFYING

>>49544868

Because the books aren't about a conflict of characters vs the Shrike. The Hyperion series involves a number of characters and factions in conflict with each other, most ordinary mortals in a semi-dystopian sci-fi setting.

The Shrike is something to be feared and avoided, and a sigh of relief offered when he takes someone else to put on his tree, not combated.

But do go on, just shrug off a Hugo award winning novel because there's "no drama in an unbeatable character". I forget, how many 40k books have won Hugo awards?

>>49525822

Any chapter deploys a giant magnet and uses a fuckton of grav guns.

>>49547510
>Halo is just weaker 40k on a smaller scale
>Naruto is just a planet with an abnormal psycher birth rate
>RWBY isn't anything

40k either drowns all three of these setting in guardsman, blows their planets up, or has chaos corrupt their shit, because "X enters the 40k universe" 99% of the time ends up with Chaos beating it because the writer never wrote protections for them considering chaos.

Nothing wanky, just stupidity

>>49547628
K

>>49547460
>Generalization: the post: the sequel

>>49542490
Yeah, they mention that the standard issue FORCE rifle is entirely capable of sniping on / from the moon

>>49550558

And don't forget that stray shot Kassad fires that gauges out a hole half a kilometer deep in the face of a mountain.

>>49546296
Is it possible in the 40k universe for the same people to occupy the same space simultaneously?

>>49550532
QED

>>49547460

Most people who make these threads are retarded.

what if threads always end badly

>>49547460
Kind of like this thread for Hyperion fanwank?

>>49551377
SPQR

>>49551414
Yeah, now just multiply that bullshit by every "what-if 40K" thread on this fucking board.

>>49551433
CVNT

>>49551470
>can't like what I don't like

Ignore the threads. This isn't hard.

>>49547510
The only thing powerful in Halo is the Forerunners, who are like Necrons but not complete shit at leadership. The UNSC and Covenant however are pretty weak as Sci Fi standards go. They need hours and hours just to glass the surface of continents and oceans, and that's with a large fleet. Star Wars and Star Trek, which I'd consider the base metrics, are waaaay above that.

>>49551414
Not really. This thread was clearly made by a 40k fan who briefly heard about a concept from hyperion and took a swing. Anybody who knows about the setting already knows that the conceit of the shrike is that it's functionally a narrative element instead of a character, and that questions like the OP's are utterly futile. Nothing beats the shrike except for something that is supposed to. It's essentially a fucking god.

>>49551487
ALAE

>>49551538
Sure, maybe at first. Then it devolved into fanwank, like all of these threads do.

>>49551518
The Forerunners are in a weird place. Some of their stuff seems weak and basic, and they lost to the Flood, but then they were capable of constructing things like the rings and the ark. Not to mention all the artificial planets they appear to have built.

>>49551538
>This thread was clearly made by a 40k fan who briefly heard about a concept from hyperion and took a swing.


Are you sure? I mean look at the question. It's not "How to the Astartes win?" It's "How many of them die before they give up?"