How to fix those guys /tg/?

Regenerate spell oughta take care of it.

Why would you want to fix them? They're high-quality disposable people.

>>49519041
Seems to me like they were already fixed. I think the process involve a typical dagger type knife, heated in a hot fire, if that helps anon.

>>49519041
Give them balls and penises, removing those from a male soldier will make them less violent and beligerant.

>>49519130
>removing those from a male soldier will make them less violent and beligerant.

You *want* them less violent and belligerent, anon. The Unsullied are built for formation warfare and bodyguard duties.

>>49519041
They are fixed OP.

>>49519130
Eunuchs were famed for being fearsome warriors.

>>49519130
The entire purpose of the Unsullied is a robotic army, who does not rape, does not burn, does not pillage. They kill, die and do what they're told - that's all.

>>49519201
I suppose they had less to loose.

>>49519201
>>49519225
>No testosterone to build muscless

>>49519248

>He thinks you need to be a huge, hulking guy to be an effective warrior

They lack the brute size of a Westerosi knight, but they're still fearsome enough with the three types of spear. The Unsullied are not physically the greatest warriors in ASOIAF, but their discipline is second to none.

And in the Middle Ages, a disciplined army was what every general dreamed of commanding. You order them to march, they march. You order them to take a city, they took a city. You order them to die, they die.

>>49519248

What is the NotTrialOfTheGrasses?

>>49519041
Don't cut their balls off and give them a sword or something. You need more than some shitty short spears to be an elite fighting unit.

>>49519290
In all fairness as well, half of middle-age warfare is a shield-wall scrum. Discipline is great for that, I'll grant, but brute muscle does play an important part, as well.
But I suppose that same discipline can allow for harsher training regimes or something

>>49519041
Give them a sword maybe? Force them to patrol in bigger numbers? Give them armour that makes harder for some random fuck with a knife to run up and shank them?

>>49519341
I dont know man, the Zulus fucked shit up. Stabbing is generally the most efficient way to kill people in a fight, its why the Romans used short stabbing swords.

>>49519441
Sword being the key word there.

The Unsullied are basically even shittier hoplites but with no balls and half the equipment.

>>49519341
>You need more than some shitty short spears to be an elite fighting unit.

They used long spears in the field, they're basically robo-hoplites.

>>49519470
The Zulus raped everyone around them once they started using short stabbing spears.

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>>49519041
>give them Sarrisas.
Give the first couple of ranks decent armour
>add skirmishers and cavalry to guard the flanks.
>profit

>>49519470
>The Unsullied are basically even shittier hoplites but with no balls and half the equipment.

Their primary opponent are retarded horsemen that think charging head-on with a short sword is a viable combat tactic.

>>49519512
Considering the Zulu Kingdom was utterly destroyed I wouldn't consider their warriors great examples.

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>>49519379

Individual strength is always a plus, but when it comes down to it, discipline and coordination are what win battles. You could have the biggest, strongest dude around, who has trained his entire life and formed himself into an immaculate specimen of martial prowess, but put him up against even two guys who know how to work together, and he's likely going to die, and he's certainly not going to come out unscathed. Further, if the one guy isn't fighting according to a plan, isn't supporting the other elements of his force, and his enemy is, it's only a matter of time before they outmaneuver him and then strength really doesn't matter for shit.

Granted, ASoIaF is littered with exceptions to this rule, but that comes with it being a work of fiction, and Martin is pretty good with his contrivances.

>>49519641

But Western media won't ever shut up about how incredible and perfect the Zulu warrior was, they were basically jet-skinned supermen.

>>49519641
Yeah but it was destroyed by people with fucking Gatling guns when they had spears and hide shields.

>>49519662
Exactly. They were about 1500 years behind the rest of the world and got annihilated for it.

Not the best example for creating an elite army.

>>49519652
They were fatty fatty boombalatties that fucked over other tribesmen and colonials who were arrogant to the extreme and underestimated them. I don't know who says Zulus were perfect except cucks and 'muh dick' types.

>>49519662
So?

This isn't doing shit to detract from the "incorrect equipment for serious war" claim.

>>49519689
>>49519699
They were great when they fought people at the same tech level.
Saying they were shit because the Brits killed them is the same as saying the Romans are shit because an American tank could wreck them.

>>49519714
They failed to keep up with the rest of the world. You can't expect an empire to come down to your level so the fight will be 'fair'.

>>49519714
Except M1 Abrams didn't exist at the same time as the roman legions.

>>49519693
>I don't know who says Zulus were perfect except cucks and 'muh dick' types.

Typically when we study the Zulus in high school the teacher would emphasize how physically fit the average Zulu warrior was, often including snippets about their "ingenious" combat tactics and how they proved to be mighty foes against the incompetent British.

Beyond that, the Zulu in popcorn media is typically portrayed as the apex of physical conditioning and often quite noble, but simply a thousand years too late to really stand a chance against modern technology.

>>49519714
Compared to the tank they are shit.

Comparing 2 things of equal shitness when the civilized world has passed them by and trying to claim that they can still compete is as a legitimate military is a bad joke.

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>>49519725
>>49519728

So, now the name of the game is "Are they trolling or just plain stupid?"

>>49519746
It's the same when describing Native Americans, gotta mention how in touch with nature and noble we were. Instead of history being a catalogue of everyone being dicks to each other there has to be a sprinkling of Hollywood in there.

>>49519758
Could ask the same of you.

The Zulu were shit because they did exist at the same time as Gatling guns and rifles. The Romans didn't exist at the same time as tanks so the comparison is a strawman.

We're talking about what makes an effective fighting relative to their neighbors. The Romans were effective, the Zulus were not.

So far as I remembered it, it's less that the Zulus were necessarily "ingenious" as much as they introduced a more lethal form of combat to a region that effectively handled war by throwing weapons at each other and backing it up with insults (not even joking here)

To be honest, it makes me think of the Aztecs

>>49519750
>>49519808

Except that wasn't the original point. The point was that the Zulus were the best of their regional military forces. The supporting evidence for this was the fact that they crushed their neighboring tribes quite handily. Bringing the Brits into the discussion is a moot point, since it has no bearing on whether the Zulus were competent warriors vis-a-vis their environment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hQqr3Pbj7Q

>>49519814
>To be honest, it makes me think of the Aztecs

The Aztecs were the closest thing to a truly evil empire we have in history, they were monstrous even in comparison to the practices of local tribes and civilizations.

>>49519829
Except it does because vis-a-vis their environment was imperial Europe slaughtering natives left and right.

Being slightly more effective than their immediate neighbors is meaningless when your less immediate neighbors have rendered your entire form of warfare obsolete.

>>49519746

>tfw our teacher tried to pass the "horn formation" off as an effective tactic when it's literally Maneuvers 101.

>>49519746
I'm the guy saying the Zulus were great but those guys were dicks. Used prisoners as target practice and shit. They were really fit though.

>>49519808
>relative to their neighbors

>brits
>neighbours

>>49519829
It has bearing when their environment contains a British military force.

No nation or tribe exists in total isolation from the rest of the world, much to the regret of Best Korea.

>>49519843
>The Aztecs
>evil
Its almost like you dont want the sun to rise tomorrow.

>>49519808
Well when the romans fought the partians they got fucking wrecked. So were the romans shit bc they didnt use horse archers?

>>49519859
>>49519881

Again, the point was that the Zulus' use of the short stabbing spear gave them a marked advantage over other tribes. Bringing the Brits into the discussion does not disprove that point, it just proves another: rifles beat spears and shields, which is self-evident.

>>49519891
It stopped rising on their shitty empire.

>>49519877
You seem to believe that Britain appeared out of nowhere and that prior to the Anglo-Zulu war they had no contact with Europeans.

That isn't the case. They had fought (and lost) conflict with the Dutch settlers before and Cape Colony was a British colony. They were neighbors.

>>49519899
They were shit in that time and place.

>>49519903
Clearly they didn't sacrifice enough people.

>>49519899
They lost badly at Carrhae but were victorious in later engagements.

The Roman-Parthian conflict was largely a stalemate because neither side had the political will or military advantage to end it decisively.

>>49519641

It took the British many years and casualties to defeat them and they had fucking guns.

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>>49519248
>Thinks testosterone is produced in the balls

>>49519958
The Anglo-Zulu war was over in 5 months....

>>49519891

The Aztects turned what was considered an extreme form of special sacrifice into a daily ritual so industrialized they had "flower wars" to harvest sacrifices from their client tribes.

It says a lot about the Aztec when they alone are unique in how often they enjoyed butchering people.

>>49519899

The Romans always had a problem with horses.

>>49519869
You can't argue it's efficiency, they did conquer alot of people. That No one figured them out and countered it somehow speaks more of their opponents then the zulus tho

>>49520010
Huitzilopochtli needs hearts so he can be strong enough to kick the shit out of his brothers and sister every day so the sun can rise.

Do you want to live in a world with no sun?

>>49519174

Underrated.

>>49519341
> give them a sword or something
They already have one (in the books).

>>49520029
Then they were idiots for not adopting other peoples way of war so horses wouldnt btfo them as much.

>>49519971
Dunno if stupid or troll

>>49519971
Eunuchs were ladybodied falsettos. People with testicles usually are not

>>49520010
Every empire needs to kill to stay in power. They just understood that if they go in and kill of some of the opposition now end then they would save themself the trouble of real war.

>>49519534
The show completely forgets this, but the Dothraki are primarily mounted archers. Not light cavalry trying to charge like heavy cavalry.

>>49519441
The Zulu's success has less to do with weaponry and more to do with disregard for cultural tradition.

>>49520243
>he thinks all castrati are made in their infancy
>he thinks that making a servant designed to sing in a high key and a gelding designed to be more disciplined than a hired soldier are raised the same way
>he thinks not having testicles would prevent exercise and a strict training regimen from making a functioning soldier

>>49520066
he probably wouldn't even notice if the sun stopped rising lmao (because he lives in his mom's basement)

>>49519746
>and how they proved to be mighty foes against the incompetent British

Is this why Roak's drift was a British victory despite being dramatically outnumbered?

The Zulu were Allies of the British anyway, the Zulu who fled from Roak's drift were punished for being stupid fuckups.

> Give them sallets and westerosi armor/shields
> Give them quality bastard swords
> Trash their spears (they carried 3, one that they kept and two that they probably threw) and give them 2-3 small spears (akin to pillums)
> Profit

Tell me more about the Aztecs, anons.

>>49520329
>Imma chop off mah soldiers bawls because Discipline.

You know one of the greatest driving forces for soldiers is ones family right?

The greatest of Athens castrated elite was ground to worthless dust by Roman's fighting for their country and their families.

>>49520342
>NEETs are Tezcatlipoca worshipers
Makes sense, they all want Tezcatlipoca to change their destiny but he wont because they suck.

>>49520329
No all im saying is that they would look feminine and have the angelic voice of a british choir boy

>>49520376
Huitzilopochtli was born in full armour with no skin and fights with a snake that is either on fire or spits fire or both which he uses as a spear. His mom had him after she got pregnant sweeping a ball of feathers.

>>49520475
>she got pregnant sweeping a ball of feathers.
w-what

>>49519041

Armour, no castration, more diverse equipment and roles.

But if you fix one of GoT's forces, you have to fix the rest - from the castles not being there to protect the peasants, to the ridiculous size of the countries making most of the battles nonsense.

>>49520475
>she got pregnant sweeping a ball of feathers

l-lewd

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>>49520475
So he was a robot with a laserrifle?

>>49520502
>>49520509
The way she got pregnant pissed off her 400 other sons and one other daughter so much that they all decided to kill her but when they tried Huitzilopochtli burst out of her fully grown and started kicking their asses.
>>49520525
Would honestly be less strange.

>>49519971
Do you even Leydig bro?

>>49519041
Let them have waifus, judging by the best one of them.

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>>49520407
>Roman's fighting for their country and their families

Romantic ideals are fine and dandy, but they don't mean shit at the tactical level. In any life-or-death fight, the last thing a soldier is thinking about is his country or his loved ones. Those are notions for when one's sympathetic nervous system isn't in control. In the thick of it, he is focused entirely on killing the enemy and surviving. He has no time for anything else.

The reason why the Romans ultimately won out over the Greeks is because they realized this fact. They picked up on the idea of separating the fighting man from the leading man. Whereas the Greeks relied on the strength of their formations to keep the line steady, the Romans had figured out how to be flexible--having some dudes separated from the fight and directing the majority of the guys doing the stabby-stabby. Rather than having a general leading from the front (and often dying gloriously), they delegated the leadership of the rank-and-file to several officers, who kept the formation disciplined and directed them in battle. This figure eventually evolved into the Centurion we all know and love (or got beaten with a wooden stick for lack of discipline).

>>49520525
Holy shit, that makes sense. That is exactly how people would describe robots. And now that I'm thinking about it, could guns be considered lightning? The "wizard" points his "wand" at someone, there is "a noise of thunder," and suddenly they are dead.
Do more, do more!

>>49520796
Just google aliens+vedas or some shit and educate yourself

>>49519041

They would be like women with spears. Sure they are dangerous in a group but not something i would live in fear of

>>49519041
I'm sure this bad joke has already been made but aren't they already, uh, fixed?

>>49521159
So you're saying they would be sand sneks? Those psychos would terrify me personaly

>>49520219
They did though. First with the usage of auxillaries and by the late empire/byzantine era they fielded exceptional cavalry that were only bested by horse archer societies such as the Sarmatians,Huns and Persians.

And no the romans weren't BTFO against the persians all the time. Both empires wrecked and got wrecked by the other from time to time.

>>49519512
>>49519641
>>49519652
>>49519662
>>49519689
>>49519693
>>49519699
>>49519714
>>49519746
>>49519808
>>49519814
>>49519829
>>49519869
>>49519901
>>49519913

ZULU'S ATTACK! FIGHT BACK TO BACK! SHOW THEM NO MERCY AND FIRE AT WILL, KILL OR BE KILLED!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVW5rjA5O7U

sorry I hate large reply spam too but this deserves to be shared

>>49521236
the sneks have plot stronk-woman armor. its so silly.

Its like fighting 13 year old boys

>>49520722
>>49520407
It's worth noting that the Romans, despite how passionate they were culturally, were famous for how disciplined and cold they were in the field. The reason Roman Legionnes were feared is because killing was a JOB to them. No chest beating or shit talking, they marched out and fucking slaughtered everyone, looted the corpses, broke camp and had lunch

>>49521236
>>49521329
I can't imagine something more terrifying than a group of raving psychopaths that can somehow bend reality in order to avoid all consequences of their actions, all the while maintaining a smug sense of superiority over the whole thing.

>>49521427
So you have been to a woman studies seminar i hear

>>49521318
Pretty rad anon.

>>49521329
>>49521236
Which sneks are these?

>>49521427
With my luck I'd be killed by the butterfaced one

>>49519041
Use them the way they're intended to be used.
They are there to be an wall of spears and if one dies the next moves up. They are not there to be your city guards and fight in enclosed spaces

>>49519165
You don't need to cut off their balls and dick. Just hire some foreign barbarians for bodyguard duty.

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>>49521837

>>49520475
Thank you for reminding me why mythology is awesome.

>>49519641
You mean like every other kingdom?

>>49521236
In the books they got wrecked hard by best cripple.

>>49521259
To be fair, not being able to stomp the enemy was something that occupied a bad spot on the roman psyche.

>>49523027
UK and Bhutan are still here.

>>49523076
Give the muslims a few more years

>>49519971
I thought it was produced in the brain, but the brain doesn't bother nearly as much if the balls are chopped off. The brain communicates with the rest of the body.

>>49523045
>To be fair, not being able to stomp the enemy was something that occupied a bad spot on the roman psyche.
Not as far as I'm aware of. The romans fought many bloody and/or prolonged wars without turning each and everyone of these opponents into Gaul-like boogeymen.

If anything I'd say that they were quite used to facing though opposition in warfare. However they didn't really play by the rules of the time as they absolutely refused to sue for peace whenever they got their shit pushed in. Instead they rallied and returned the favour thrice-fold. It was this, their armies discipline, equipment, tacticts and the sheer amount of soldiers they could produce that won them the reputation of being close to invincible. You'd have a hard time besting them in the field and even when you did they refused any peace that wasn't on their terms and if you didn't accept it they'd just muster a new army and march against you yet again.

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>>49519201
No they fucking weren't.

Eunuchs were used militarily in the Ottoman Empire to just be harem bodyguards for obvious reasons. Some Chinese eunuchs had military positions but these are almost always administrative

This board is so retarded so consistently

Also this
>>49519248

>>49519971
You are literally the stupidest person to ever browse /tg/ and that's saying something cause we get a whole lotta stupid.

>>49523405
Correction, YOU are the most retarded person on this board. Congrats

>>49520407
>Le fighting for muh family and country

Please, never join the military. There is nothing more annoying than the fucking cuck who signed up to fight for his family and country.

>>49523789
Out of honest curiosity, are you saying that the people with more motivation to join the military perform worse in it?

>>49523789
I don't usually call people a fedora since it's a lame-ish internet straw man but you sound exactly like what one would sound like

>le im so nihlistik every1 and everything is so shit, Im just like Le jokar irl xD Ima agent of chaos blood 4 le blood god

>>49523789
God forbid someone join for a non selfish reason right? Better call them a cuck to make yourself feel like less of a shithead.

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>>49523789
>cuck
This shitty buzzword is getting really annoying
>>49521329
BAD POOSAY

>>49523822
Not quite. It depends on the motivation in particular. But I'd argue that the guys who do the best are the ones whose motivation aren't as extrinsic.

The guy who has literally nothing else to do, wants to stop being an useless piece of shit, really needs the money, has no other career options, wants to better himself or just wants to fucking kill some people? Well, they're all very honest and down to earth reasons.

The notion of defending your country and family is all nice and poetic. But you also sound like a fucking sockpuppet for pop culture while spouting it. And the other guys are simply less likely to find common ground with you because of it.

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>>49523405
>>49519971

Can this get any better

>>49519248
>not wanting discipline

>>49523960
>dudes with their balls not chopped off are incapable of being disciplined

So fucking dumb. What do you think most armies are comprised of now and have been for history? This is a thinly veiled tumblr thread though

>>49519165
A phalanx was a brutal mess of men within kissing range of each other punching, kicking, stabbing and biting each other to death, with some literally having the life crushed from them by their enemies before them and their friends behind.

You want angry aggressive men to stand and fight that battle

>>49523895
Honestly this. I joined because OCS just for being a college grad, poor career prospects, and warfare has always interested me. I don't hate my country, but I didn't join for some high and mighty cause, I joined because I was directionless and the military seemed like fun (which it kind of is, beats the hell of working in an office 8 hours a day 5 days a week).

>>49525754
>>but muh robot men

>>49519041
Cut their penis off but not their balls

>>49525929
Without modern surgery? No thanks.

>>49519641
>Zulu Kingdom was utterly destroyed
Yeah, BY FUCKING MACHINEGUNS
I'd say that's a pretty impressive fucking record for guys with cowskin shields and wooden spears

>>49519693
>'muh dick' types
What is that? I keep hearing that expression being used in the context of black people, but what does it mean?

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>>49525959
>Yeah, BY FUCKING MACHINEGUNS

>War
>Fair

>>49525978
>>negative comment about black people
>>but we got big dicks!
Basically that in lieu of a real response to any kind of criticism.

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>>49526006
And even then it's a complete phallucy.

>>49525984
>War
>Fair
>Warfare

>>49524962
>implying they are as disciplined as the Unsullied

>>49526308
But they are more useful and, as this thread is conclusively proving, not poorly equipped.

>>49521347
Um no. The early Roman army was almost nothing but conscripts and they managed to grind down every professional army sent to stop them. What made the Romans special was their extremely warlike nature (defeat was unacceptable both religiously and politically), roughly meritocratic political system that encouraged ambitious young noblemen to direct their energies towards conquering neighboring states, and geographical position (Italia is one of the most fertile regions in the Mediterranean). They were essentially better than average fighters who had both the will and means to fight until their enemies were forced to surrender due to war weariness. It was only when the middle class (small farmers) who provided the bulk of the conscription style army shrunk that the Romans were essentially forced to switch to a professional army.

>>49526340
>more useful
>because of mass numbers, ease of producing troops & technology

>>49519714

What's this about the media making them out to be superhuman? The only times I really hear about them is that they were a big fish in a small pond, that other african armies fought ritually and weren't prepared for serious infantry tactics.

But that when exposed to higher-tech military, they fell apart. Also that their leader was a brilliant warrior and organizer, but superstitious, gullible, and not terribly good at anything but war.

Is this some new PC curriculum thing? Because I'm really not seeing it. The most extensive treatment in the media that I recall was the late 80's early 90's Shaka Zulu miniseries. Which was pretty awesome and didn't hesitate to present him evenhandedly.

>>49526350
Continuing on how important war was for early Romans, it was considered the duty of all Roman fathers to teach their sons how to be soldiers (not only fighting but keeping physically fit). While other conscript armies would train a little before campaign, the Romans trained longer than most. Also, if a war wasn't going well, instead of overthrowing their leaders even more Romans would volunteer their bodies and goods to the war effort. Defeat was simply unacceptable and their entire society was invested in the outcome of their wars. Astute people will notice that the Romans were essentially practicing total war.

>>49526350
You are forgetting the main reason, a system where citizens have to serve is less effective when you have a widespread empire where soldiers might have to be active for years at a time. Farmers especially don't like that.

Its the same reason they kept adding more magistrates, the old system was not capable of handling the amount of territory they conquered.

>>49526406
I don't think it's merely PC, not completely, but also plain ignorance, like thinking everyone in the middle ages was covered in dirt and shit and was a braindead moron.

I remember Deadliest Warrior (I know) saying Zulu warriors were some kind of supermen and the guy portraying them in the "simulation" was some jacked gigganigga, which I'm sure gives people with no background in history the wrong idea that soldiers looked like bodybuilders. Like 300.

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>>49525978
It's a meme you dip.

>>49519728

M1 Abrams sucks against power armored gene-boosted jump soldiers with a live defense grid and tac missiles. The american army is a bunch of pathetic cowardly primitive losers because the current army isn't already equipped and trained to take on that future technology.

Check m8 21st century morans. We'd come back and kill you if that wouldn't prevent our existence.

>>49526441
That was part of it, but a larger part was the Patricians buying out the small time farmers who were the bulk of the manpower for most of early Roman history. Free roman farmers couldn't compete with slave labour.

>>49526461
>>still worried about paradoxes
>>being this primitive
lol
You must be from the 26th century, the America of centuries.

>>49525754
>A phalanx was a brutal mess of men within kissing range of each other punching, kicking, stabbing and biting each other to death
no

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>>49523405
Brain tells balls when to start making testosterone. There are other minor sources but balls make all most all of it. Do some google before you look like a retard.

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>>49519041
Give the TV series a better budget and costume department. I understand the limitations of a TV run and the need to show faces but all the armours in the adaptation are hideous.

>>49519470
They're pretty much described as hoplites in the books - short swords are standard equipment.

>>49526350
All armies used levies supplemanted with a few full time units.

>>49523045
I don't get it. Doran?

>>49526639
Incorrect. Do you seriously think the front rank, with anwhere from 7 to 49 ranks of men behind them pushing them onwards, would stop and stand a few yards apart and poke at each other with their spears?

>>49519041
Assuming you mean "how to make the people depicted here a valuable military asset" the answer is to give them competent leadership. You know, like they've sorely lacked.

>>49523789
Im sure you mean that when your country is strictly imperialistic and never EVER fight a war in defense, people who claim to fight for their family are absolut and utter faggots. Soldier isn't necessarily a bad thing.

>>49519201
[citation needed]

>>49523841
>your opinion is so weird and strange lelxD
>why don't you try thinking like a normal person?!!!

>>49526444

And then William Wallace stomped the shit out of him and the show got called racist.

Also it was funny when the guys representing the Scots cut right through that bullshit hide shield that could supposedly stop bullets and the gigganigga had to backpedal by saying that it doesn't matter because we're so fast you could never hit us anyways seriously you guis we're so cool!

>>49526875
>pushing them onwards
Where does this meme even come from?

>>49527021
The 'experts' were pretty hilarious sometimes, like the producers just grabbed a guy off the street as long as he was the same race and had a decent enough accent.

>>49519441
>its why the Romans used short stabbing swords
The Roman legion was a highly flexible formation, phalanxes weren't very flexible, which is a large part of the reason Rome rekt them.

A Phalanx in AGOT is stupid since the setting is effectively the late middle ages without gunpowder. What they should be is either Jannissaries/Ghulams/Mamluks/ since the region has brown people like the middle east, or akin to swiss mercenaries, fighting as pike walls with integrated support assets.

>>49523789
>>49523822
>>49523895
>>49523862
Anon is likely talking about guys who enlist who are moto as fuck because muh duty, muh country, muh heritage. They shit over the usual commiseration of complaining about the bad conditions, and are generally boot as fuck.

No one likes a Melvin. "Service muh country" are the Melvins of the armed forces. Most normal off as the gov does everything it can to cram it's giant green cock up their shit holes, some never grow out of it. These fuckheads go on to become Tacs

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>>49519041
They're already fixed.

>>49527127
you're like 3 hours and 150 replies too late

>>49527043

It was the epitome of "so bad it's good".

>>49527164
It was entertaining so long as you didn't take it as historically accurate in any way. Basically a show about 'who would win, Batman or Superman?' with experts like 'that guy' or 'literally who'. The zombies vs vampires episode was so retarded that I couldn't believe it, and I think it killed the show and everyone who worked on it.

>>49527203

The show was already effectively dead at that point anyways. But it was always fun to see them fuck up the ballistics gel.

>>49527029
Ancient sources describing them as pushing, other contemporary sources which are pretty clear that generally deeper formations were stronger, basic common sense since otherwise everyone beyond the first two or three ranks contribute abosultely nothing to the fight.

Have you ever noticed how people in a queue often get too close to each other and end up squashing the people at the front - how would you stop 50 people eager to fight enemies from accidentally pushing the people at the front too far forward?

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>>49521318
Sabaton a best

>>49527275
Yeah but you can't fight like that so why would they even do that shit?

>>49527941
>>49527954
I accidentally did this

>>49526978
>>49523635
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malik_Kafur
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yazaman_al-Khadim
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mu%27nis_al-Muzaffar

>>49528095
>General
>Governor and General
>General
So none of them were regular soldiers.

>>49519041
Give'em fucking short swords

I mean holy shit what the fuck?!


>>49519901
Not just making their spears into short swords, they had made better shields and used simple but deadly tactics to win their empire.

>>49530242
eunuch slaves during that time people generally didn't achieve the rank of general by being bad at fighting.

>>49524962
>entire thread about how eunuchs are bad and the Zulus were overrated
>tumblr
Despite common belief, "tumblr" isn't meant to be used as a synonym for "thread I don't agree with".

>>49526006
Isn't that basically just the reverse of /pol/ responding to any comment about Asians being smarter/more cultured/more productive by calling them microdicks?

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>>49526523

>>49527043
I've never been able to find it again, but years and years ago someone posted a imagecap on /tg/ of a description of Deadliest warrior that was so funny I literally laughed out loud. It highlighted all the stupidity in it and I remember it including a sentence along the lines of "And whoever's more Asian wins".

>when you're so bad at making a disciplined force you need to chop their balls off

lol

Game of Thrones is shit by the way

>>49527275
>>49527954
>>49527954
Hoplite shields are not flat but conclave. They can still breath when pushing thanks to the tiny space offered by the shield.

>>49519041
Make them Northmen
https://youtu.be/B2vjBVTTzDU?t=4m10s
I kid, the battle was garbage

>>49530483
They have swords in the books. The show was in a tight budget that's why they got so rekt in street fighting.

>>49519652
>Western media

I don't think anyone other than the Brits cares in the first place.

Make them Scotts and make the Dothraki Englishmen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD5Imb7vWSc

>>49526808
Nope. A lot of the enemies the early Romans fought relied on professional mercenaries to provide the bulk of their forces, i.e. Carthage, Greek States, Successor States, etc. The Romans relied almost exclusively on levies. However, more full time soldiers were integrated into the army as time went on simply because the small farmer class was shrinking due to heavy competition with slave labour. There were some attempts at reform (i.e. saving the Roman middle class) but these ultimately failed and the army had to be professionalized to maintain Roman strength. Thus, with power concentrated in the hands of a few generals rather than the populace, the fall of the Roman Republic was practically guaranteed.

On a sidenote, the professional army did allow Rome to directly annex territories instead of propping up client states.

>>49526866
Aye, the Sand bitches tried to abduct the baratheon princes.
Turned out Doran expected that, so their forces were expected by his bodyguard and a couple of soldiers.
Sand Cunts got wrecked and taken prisoner.
Doran then told them that they were dumb children and should not disturb his plans, which would involve serious blood and fire for the assholes that killed his sister.

>>49519869
Do they teach ineffective tactics in Maneuvers 101? Seems counterproductive.

>>49533574
>successor states
>mercenaries
Fuck off retard. They all relied on levied settler soldiers before turning to natives and mercenaries to pad out their numbers.

>>49533574
>Greeks
>mercenaries

The Greek City States had a citizen levy just like the early Romans. Hell the Romans copied much of this from Greek colonies in Italy.

>>49519041

Gambesons or GTFO. TV shows need to stop with the stupid, a historical fucking leather armour. At least the helms are fairly decent,though I'm willing to bet there's no fucking padding under them.

>>49534241
>Gaybesons
But they're ugly. And we want our supasoldiers to be pretty, don't we? Plus, the concept of army of eunuchs is itself stipid, and no amount of historically accurate armor is gonna make them less ridiculous.

>>49531896
Generally eunuch slaves ended up as some form of governor or courtier because they couldn't found their own dynasty and thus were less of a threat. If you already have the ear of the king or are in charge of a province becoming a military leader is relatively easy.

Besides none of your examples were regular soldiers promoted through the ranks due to combat ability in battle.

>>49532966
>conclave
Convex, or concave depending on whether you mean the front or back. Conclave is a private meeting.

>>49533267

Why are Americans so obsessed with black men? You can't drive through a city without hitting twelve Martin Luther King streets, you can't turn on TV without seeing a commercial featuring the sassy black conquering or watching with amusement the silly white, you can't even watch their porn without some screaming whore getting "stuffed by big nigger dick."

You guys are crazy.

>>49534351
>Plus, the concept of army of eunuchs is itself stipid
So is an army of women and yet amazons are a very common in fantasy settings.

>>49535027
But not in gritty ultrarealistic grimderp settings like this.

>>49535075
It's fantasy for people who hate fantasy that's still full of fantasy shit.

>>49535075
>Ultrarealistic
>Light cavalry who fight in melee combat and aren't laughed at
>Sand Snakes
>Ironborn haven't been genocided

>>49535713
>light cavalry acting like shock cavalry
The show fucks it up. They're supposed to be turkic/mongolean horse archers
>sand snakes
Rich bitches being rich and bitches. Loads of money gets you loads of training and high quality arms
>Ironborn
The current generation of the Iron Isles are reactionaries living in rags after their rebellion against the iron throne was squashed by Robby and Co. Prior to the rebellion its implied that the previous generations were fishmen and merchants, much like medieval Denmark. Its no wonder they got strung along to religious revivalism and xenophobia

>Cut off dick
>Leave balls

?

>>49536098
>Loads of money gets you loads of training and high quality arms
Uh, this doesn't work that way.

>>49536590
What are knights.

>>49536098
They were always fishermen and merchants, and they always lived in rags. Being Iron Islander is suffering.

>>49533681
>relied on levied settler soldiers
Which could never find enough of (they often had the problem of people emigrating back to Greece). They dared not employ the natives in any large quantity for fear of rebellion. So for the large part they relied on mercs.
>>49533730
Not in the time period they fought the Romans. Most Greek States during that time period relied on mercenaries who served on a permanent basis. Hell, what >>49533681 calls "levied settler soldiers" were in fact mercs who were paid with land in exchange for military service.

>>49536684
The promethean enemies with the sword hands who fuck you up in melee?

>>49536739
>Being Iron Islander is suffering.
>Being a retard is suffering.
WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT!

>>49519652
Admittedly they did have amazing physical fitness.

>>49519913
They lost, reformed into the army the brits fought, and the settlers sold themselves to Britain for protection

>>49524962
It's not that they were eunuchs that made them particularly disciplined, it was their extremely harsh training from the day they're cut as children, combined with the poisons they ingested over the course of that training to take away all of their physical sensations.

>>49526523
>>49526461
/tg/ truly has the best shitposting, I am proud