American Elves

>"If Don'ald Treetrumpet gets the White Throne, I'm moving to Kannadun and live with the dwarves!"

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>>49510050
>Southern Bayou Wood Elves. Everglade rangers on fanboats and spooky voodoo traditions for the magical side of things, culturally favoring spicy foods and eroded french accents, lots of local loyalties with debatable national identity due to recent lack of magical or ecconomic support after several major hurricanes came through over the last several years.
>East-coast High Elves. Old money dripping off the tongue at the high society circles, but the same sense of ego with a lot less to back it other than bravado and pride at the lower end of the social spectrum. They bore the brunt of the attacks when some jackasses tried to fly dragons into the Twin Trees at the WTC. The trees still stand but the sight of the boughs burning is still emblazened in the minds of the people and spurred a big political revolution in international policy and domestic rights.
>West-Coast Moon Elves from the Puget Sound down to North California, then Sun Elves starting at a mix in the Silicon Valley all the way down to the border and sinking in toward Arizona. Fucking hipsters the lot of them, but different varieties of them depending on where you are and what's hip this season. Very casual, wear simple clothes to work instead of the proper floral regalia appropriate for big, dignified businesses. Technically more willing to give other races/nations the benefit of the doubt, but also rather steeped in their own preconceived notions and unwittingly racist paradigm.
Midwestern Brown elves. Elfish culture didn't have As Much of a direct and genocidal method of dealing with the local elves when Manifest Destiny was made manifest on their doorsteps, but they were still pretty much forced aside and to allow settlers from more magically developed foreigners. They kind of hold onto their heritage the way that you'd expect to try to keep them alive; a mix of insular community based traditions and public, stereotypical ones they can broadcast and monetize.

>>49510446
>Implying the Canadians aren't all were-beavers

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>>49510470
Everything's bigger in Texas including the local Wild Elves. They're not literally wild anymore, but they still have a great deal of identity placed on their roots as a lone-star state and in contesting the Union way back in the Elvish Era of Strife, though there's obviously hints and tastes of it all over the southern states and occasionally a Drow still gets lynched or naked masked high elves dance under flaming boughs before a ritual sacrifice in the Corellion's name.

No one knows why they call it handball. It looks nothing like a hand and the rest of the world knows Handball what the United Elven States of America know as Hokker. Nevermind that these dumbasses are using the oldest and most backwards measurement system in stark stubborn denial of the superior dwarven/gnomish Meteoric system.

Internationally speaking they get a lot of flack, particularly over the last few decades, for Massive military use of Scry and Die spell tactics. They rely a lot on other intelligence to be able to raise the difficulty in resisting spammed scrying spells and then just set off a series of contingent spells to detonate nearly everything in range of the target, and their information isn't always right. Even when it is, the collateral damage is always plenty for their enemies to sling in their face politically.

There's growing concerns in the food industry over the increasing number of people who can afford Rings of Sustainance in the new ecconomy, raising concerns for the future of our agrarian domestic consumption and the related job markets and transportation industries. There's talk of mass exporting food to other countries that are behind the magical curve, but at the same time the "not our problem" political mentality and public outcry against trying to save the world from itself just because of a few kingdoms and countries being knocked over for our economic advantages abroad or political hegemony in foreign states.

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>>49510050
>all sleek and iBranded.
>american weapons
>all sleek and iBranded.

"no"

death to america btw.

>A new wave of anti-elven sentiment has swept the world as the United Elven State continues it's bombing of Goblin terrorist groups in the middle east. Orkish chancellor Mer'kull had this to say: "We must welcome the goblins in with welcome arms and make the rest of the union do its part. Death to the elves!"

>Accusations continue that the frog-people of the foggy isles are puppets for the Elven state, angrily repeated by Chancellor Mer'kull after the recent "sod the goblins" vote that led to them exiting the western union.

Dude you can't get Americans to agree on what being American means. You can't even get Americans in specific regions of America to agree what being part of that region means. 6 different subraces of elves? Try 60. And then you get groups based on stuff other than regions, like entire families that go career military because their fathers and grandfathers did it and a string of military bases is literally all they know.

>>49510050
>not mention drow
> mention fried chicken and cola

I see what you did there

>>49510470
>>49510734
Nice. Not much more to add though.

>>49510050

Well..Monster Hunter International has redneck elves.

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>>49511336
What was the indigenous race that the elves all killed during the colonial era and now feel really guilty about, despite being largely ignorant of anything relating to them?

>>49512619
Shit, still had my namefag on from the creation tables thread.

>>49512619
More elves.

>>49512619
Orcs maybe?
Or perhaps classical Xmas style elves, fae like and small?

>>49512619
Humans.

>>49512720
It was obviously the keebler tribes. Don't they teach anything in history nowadays?

>>49512605
...shit.

he didn't even need to bring up the low probability of breeding.

>>49510566
>implying that's not obviously better

>>49513202
Kek

>>49510446
>"When the Dwarves sends their people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing hard liquor. They’re digging too deep. They’re tree-killers. And some, I assume, are good people."

>- Don'ald Treetrumpet

>>49513481
I WILL GROW A FOREST.
Full of treants and illusory defenses!

>>49511265
Yeah, but yurofags have to hate on americans. It is a part of their culture.

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>>49512619
It's not really the elves' fault for being ignorant about them.

The indigenous peoples rejected modern society until very recently, and were so retardedly butthurt about "losing their culture" they refused to write anything about themselves down, relying on traditional spoken histories.

Modern indigenous peoples are just as ignorant about themselves as anyone else. What little we do know about their cultures is thankfully preserved thanks to elves writing it down.

Thanks elves!

"Tensions continue to rise regarding the United Sylvan Alliance's recent incursion in the Desert Dwarf state of I'raq, with several human states formally condemning the Sylvan military's actions in unilaterally invading the country. In response, Chancellor Jyorg Bush stated that, "Silvereil will do everything in its power to ensure that I'raq does not gain access to weapons of mass destruction. Our military action is solely meant to eliminate the I'raq demonic weapons program." Several of the elves' allies have taken similar positions, with the Kingdom of Elbyon expressing support for their actions. Others, however, such as the Warforged New Tzardom of Rus', have been far more critical, accusing the elves of instead being motivated by I'raq's rich mithril deposits and a desire for a new source of mithril not controlled by the Dwarven Sawd Ar'ab cartel. Additionally, the Rus'yan Grand Kniaz stated that the elves should first examine their own problems, citing the large economic inequalities still found between High Elves and Drow."

>>49513481
Pft, if we grow a forest with 30 feet deep roots, the dwarves will just deep 31 feet deep tunnels!

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>Other nations thinking they're superior to us
>Still haven't planted their nation tree on the moon much less set foot on it
Nice try goblin-kin, next you'll be telling me how having your women fucking those kobolds is a good thing.

>>49518450
Don't even get me started on that dwarf/kobold/goblin/human/halfling/gnome/orc "Union" they have going. Honestly, the wood elves leaving that shit was the best thing they could've done.

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>>49510050
>Chubby, hypernationalistic, redneck elf
>Lives in mostly rural areas, has his own farm
>Shoots any non-elves that trespass on his property because "muh inalienable right to bear arms"
>Builds a wall and makes the dwarves pay for it
>Invade backwards Orcish tribes because they're practicing necromancy (spoiler: they're not) and also happen to conveniently have placed their village on top of a large salt deposit that could earn the elves mad cashmoney if exploited
>Thinks humans are snooty and arrogant because they aren't backwards rednecks
>"Freedom ain't free! The tree of liberty has to be watered with the blood of lesser races. Galaricel aka Gala-dicks-elves is not my consul. He's a commie and probably a half-human too. Bow and arrow not sword and shield, ok? Praise Corellon."

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>>49510050
>Valley Elves

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>Government keeps infringing on my right to bare bows
>Keeps making long bows, crossbows and reflex bows harder to get
>Makes bow accessories like polymer drawstrings and high capacity quivers illegal because some crazy person shot a thousand arrows at a learning tree.
How do they expect me to go hunting or defend myself? Fucking city liberals

>>49518742
The rate of mass bowings has skyrocketed! Something MUST be done!

>>49518742
Naked bows are an inalienable right!

>>49510809
hi ahmed

>>49510734
>scry and die

10/10

>>49518601
F R E E D O M A I N T F R E E

Don't forget the near obsession with fantasy college football and BBQ.

>>49511265
>>49514525
It's easier to hate on a superior culture than fix their own.