Humanity fuck you thread

I'll fuck me

I'll fuck me hard

>>49471783
>tfw you will never facefuck humans pregnant

>>49471805
See you in 15 minutes then

>>49471834
You just ain't been facefucking hard enough.

Also, it the alien reproduction method always struck me as really inefficient. Why not use natural reproductive systems so hosts could be reusable? Or at least have them throw up the chestbursters.

I do love me a good humanity, fuck you story.

I like seeing humanity get kicked square in the balls, and brought to their knees, and instead of "Suddenly, turning the tide due to (Human aspect unheard of in aliens) and making humanity the boss of everything!"

No. Show me humanity suffering through yet another great cataclysm, and like the persistent vermin we are, surviving, broken and battered, but alive.

Because from there, we can only go up, and earn our place in the new environment.

>>49471868
That's just Humanity Fuck Yeah with persistence as our defining trait.

>>49471863

Because the dead humans are then used to create the vast array of organic matter that makes up the hive, and feeding the various members of the hive.

Some of the "Super speedy growth to towering adult size!" just doesn't work on a physics stand point, no matter how hard you want to handwave. More logical that the corpses are used as a food source and building material for the hive.

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Yeah I wouldnt mind a thread where space marines or muh humanity gets fucked

>>49471889

It doesn't lead us to victory, or dominance, or anything generally looked at as "Humanity, fuck yeah!"

It's "You survived. That is your prize." Lot of living creatures on our planet's greatest trait is their persistence.

Although I do enjoy the bits of writefaggotry based of human artifacts and alien speculation on our culture. Those always amuse me. The more likely outcome, all things considered. A culture of a hundred thousand years... Is a blink in the cosmic eye.

>>49471938
Honestly persistence and survivability are basically some of the few things humanity seems to have in spades over most everything else of our size.

>>49471783
Sounds great, looking at humanities flaws is always more interesting to me than minimizing them and then beating up some imagined straw man race. "man you sure showed that imaginary species you created just for an idealized humanity to defeat who's boss."

>>49471783

to be fair we fucking deserve it for our arrogance pretty often

>>49471783
On one hand, I hate "You've gone/done what god never intended and you will now be punished for your hubris!" On the other hand, I really like a good story about struggling against impossible odds and losing heroically.

>>49471912
Does it count if chaos marines are doing the fucking?

Where does transhumans fucking up humans fit into this thread?

ITT: 'Bunch of weaklings.

We're the most amazing species on this planet but you're crying because we're not perfect yet. I'm sure if you feel guilty for the actions of others and emasculate yourself some more, and aliens do show up, they'll think your miserable ass is so much better.

>>49472256
Transhumans fucking up humans is my favorite kind of humanity fuck you. Even better is when transhumans/AIs fuck up humans, and are also either in the right or actually teaching the humans a lesson. I'm not even a fedora tipping Kurzweil believer, I just love the idea of it being the absolute inverse of regular HFY. Humans aren't the best, and to really hammer in that point we have humans that are better showing it.

>>49471783
My old man tried to write a book that started off as Humanity Fuck you, and ended up as Humanity...

A great conspiracy is trying to start a war around the election of the new Civilized Universe Election. A guy shanghaied from egypt circa 5,000 BCE find himself needing to provide for the election. Civilized Universe gets their first RAW look at humanity, and Humanity at our new Alien...neighbors. Their laws prevent them from bringing in any civilization that can't travel outside their own solar system, and you need to have a colony established in at least one other star system.

Needless to say when the CU gets a look at humanity, they laugh. They don't have symbiotic virtual assistants implanted in their skulls? They don't have planet wide population control - because they are effectively immortal. They aren't effectively immortal? What primitive backwards people.

Turns out humanity does have a few things going for them. We advance faster than the races of the CU who are mostly exoskeletal. Yep, turns out most of them were the top on their planets and didn't need to worry about competition. Where as on earth...well we might be the top, but it's because we fought to get here, and fight to keep it that way. By book 2 the CU was viewing earth as filled with backwards, hyper violent, ultra competitive, territorial, yokels.
But we have good relations with some giant anthropoids that hate moving fast, and teach engineering and science at the grade school level. Turns out our only allies are a race of spiders like beings who enjoy problems. This leads to the CU saying "Want a problem solved quickly, get a Lichtenese. Want it solved under budget but possibly over time, and with several more explosions and destroyed prototypes? For that you hire a human.

Sadly humanity looses every battle with the Sanctified Beyond except one because...those Dur are so far above us.

>>49471938
>>49472040
"Persistence hunting" is usually thrown around at some point.

Not all HFY has to be bells and whistles, humans defeating evil and saving the day. It's about pride in species, even if that pride consists of giving the enemy the a middle finger and a final fuck you and taking them with you into the afterlife.

Going down fighting can be just as HFY as saving the universe. We need the dark tales with the light ones.

>>49472040
Makes sense when you consider how the theory of evolution works.

Doesn't matter how big and mean and strong and deadly you are; all that matters is that you stay alive long after everyone else is dead.

>>49472292
Well, there's always War of the Worlds for that. You have brave heroic stuff like Thunderchild, but at the same time it doesn't really mean much when the aliens are so far ahead.

Overall though, I'm a middle ground type of guy. I don't like when aliens just steam roll humans because they're so much better, but I also don't like when humans win for some bullshit reason. I like it be more like an actual war, where maybe both sides aren't evenly matched but it could realistically go either way because real life is complicated and messy.

>>49472256
>Does it count if chaos marines are doing the fucking?
>Where does transhumans fucking up humans fit into this thread?
Because they are serving something other than humanity and have become conduits of chaos.

>>49472280
I'm reminded of the part in False Gods where the Luna Wolves trampled a bunch of remembrancers to rush Horus to medical aide.

Its one thing when humanity is trampled as an act of war, but it stings so much more when it happens as an oversight.

>>49471783
>HFY
Because these are our true leaders.
Greedy, weak, and conniving

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>>49471783
>>49472370
Because our leaders are this
Our citizens are either too disenfranchised to stop them from pillaging the world or too comfortable to risk revolution.

Two thirds of our species willingly worship a god that explicitly hates them and says they are unclean and sinful by virtue of being human without so much as a complaint.

>>49472292

I'm about to go to bed, so I don't have the energy to write it, but there should be some sort of "HFY" where aliens are scared off from contact with humanity because they've seen /r9k/ or some equivalent. Or maybe where they bring humanity into the galactic community and humanity almost instantly shits it up a la /b/

>>49472276
If you can't be realistic about your shortcomings from time to time, you'll wind up ignoring them completely. You can't grow without acknowledging your flaws first.

You don't seriously go around thinking you're the shit all day do you?

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>>49472276
>Feeling proud of your species instead of your achievements
You sure showed us

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>>49472384
>>49472370
We are so obsessed with insignificant differences between each other that we base entire ideologies around the hue of our skin

When exposed to excessive resources, a third of humans simply indulge to such excess that they become bloated mockeries of the human form that can't even support their own weight

We shame our greatest scientists and athletes

Animal abuse
Truck nuts
Justin Beiber
50 Shades of Grey

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>>49472412
>When exposed to excessive resources, a third of humans simply indulge to such excess that they become bloated mockeries of the human form that can't even support their own weight

Its silly when you phrase it that way, but its not absurd to imagine people growing obese since you just left them close to food for too long.

>>49472450
>but its not absurd to imagine people growing obese since you just left them close to food for too long.
Maybe you still want to be able to walk around?

>>49471783
> Humanity Fuck You Thread.
> Basically Warhammer 40K.

you already HAVE your threads.

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>>49472467

Ill admit I got a laugh on this one

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>>49472466
Walking is a scam. The government doesn't want to have to pay for your disability.

>>49472466
Arguably, that person's local culture has evolved to the point that manual locomotion is rendered irrelevant.

Or we can rule them as victims of deepseated instinctual response from our primitive years when food was scarce, and thus our bodies panic when we see so much food and consume it for survival reason because who knows when we'll see our next meal.
Or maybe they just need to stop eating fast food. Is fast food the current diet-boogeyman? Or is it carbs now? I can never keep up.

>>49472533
Honestly, it's just eating more than your daily number of calories now. Surprise, if you eat 3000 calories every day, your body is going to gain weight.

>>49472533
>Or we can rule them as victims of deepseated instinctual response from our primitive years
And isn't that just sad?

>>49472276
>We're the most amazing species on this planet

There have been many amazing humans individually, but what have you done with yourself, m8? Can you even benchpress your bodyweight, let alone something actually impressive?

>>49472547
I wouldn't say sad. Its embarrassing. Our brains haven't caught up with the pace of the civilization we built.

>>49472292
Anon you replied to. I meant just plain persistence, not persistence hunting.
We basically bang our heads and throw ourselves at and against what we previously assumed were impenetrable walls until suddenly they aren't walls anymore and more often than not we call this "progress" its basically how science and engineering came about and i actually think it might be a legitimate mental illness evolution hasn't had to prune out cause its just plain useful.

Ex: most animals, if faced with a challenge that is technically doable by them but outside of their experience, will avoid the challenge entirely as trying and failing is automatically deemed a waste of resources even if the reward for success is more than enough pay off. They legitimately can't conceive "trying".

Crows, octopuses, and dolphins are the few who share this shit with us.

>>49472715
>until suddenly they aren't walls anymore and more often than not we call this "progress" its basically how science and engineering came about

I feel like a lot of scientists and engineers would get very upset at you for saying something like this. Progress is a gradual thing, with big breakthroughs making up only small portions and most stuff takes centuries to happen.

>>49472412
Completely fine to dislike someone over cultural differences.

>>49472741
It may be fine, but would you say its productive?

>>49472736
I wasn't even refering to break throughs.
Walls can be simple shit like how to squeeze one more row of crop into your fields without overcrowding being a major issue or how to eek 0.01mile out of a tank of gas.

Break enough walls and the whole building collapses and THATS a breakTHROUGH.

>>49472755
Only if you go to war over it.

>>49472755
Depends. Are we going to war?

>>49472770
Wars can be costly, wouldn't you say? And they tend to cost the lives of those who you share your culture with.

>>49472715
>>49472736
I think it has a lot to do with self-delusion driving the suicidal wall-flinging. We'll encounter a problem and beat it to a pulp. We won't just knock down the wall, we'll smash the pieces into dust, tear up the foundation, plant a garden and then pick our heads up and say "wow, that all happened rather quick, eh?" because we've been so enraptured with whatever task we set before ourselves that natural instinct is overwhelmed. Can't see the forest for the trees and all that jazz.

Or in a more pretentious way, "we're so intelligent we make ourselves dumb."

>>49472412
Isn't that kid canadian, though?

>>49472801
They also are the highest points of innovation, constructions, and economical growth across the board and the losses are almost always fixed up within a decade or so.

>>49472842
>fixed up

I see your point about innovation but I would argue that any human loss is irreversible. Every death is a tragedy that takes something unique with it.

>>49472801
Yes and yes. "Our wills are tempered by the flames of conflict" - Obama

>>49472857
Nah if you or I or that other anon were to die it wouldn't matter, probably. Human life isn't really worth that much unless of course you do bring something too the table. What that something is though is subjective I guess. For me it'd be space travel. For real dude there's like billions of us if anything we can stand too lose a couple billion.

>>49472918
If that "something" is subjective, then it isn't for you to say that humans are worthless. What you have to offer may be minuscule in your opinion, but if there's at least one person out there that believes that every opinion, secret, or story that a person can hold matters, then to some degree it does. You might think you don't matter, but you'll have to try harder than that to get me to stop caring about you.

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>>49472412
Truly inspiring.

>>49472388
>planet doomed because of Pepe.

Dammit, Hillary was right all along!

>>49472961
Been on this site for a lot of years anon but I think that's one of the nicest things I ever heard.

>>49472412
>We are so obsessed with insignificant differences between each other that we base entire ideologies around the hue of our skin

This is going to happen no matter what.

>>49473157
I never understood the leap from "I'm better than these people" to "so they deserve to die." Yes, of course this world is full of savages, but you should take that contempt and do something productive with it. Hold humanity to a higher standard rather than surgically altering it.

>>49472292
>>49471783

Does anyone else find it strange that HFY is considered cliche and overblown on this website?

As I recall it was started as a response to an OVERWHELMING trend in fiction of making humans either weak and useless, or "balanced".

Comic book aliens (from Skrulls to Kryptonians to Martian Manhunters) having weird powers "because alien."

Elves and dwarves life for centuries, but humans barely make one because we're so average.

Humans sit in the "middle ground" between tough as nails orcs and fragile elves.

Of course a balance is ideal.

>>49473282
It's not cliche and overblown in actual fiction, but it was a pretty rampant meme for a little while there. It still has threads pop up every know and then, with the same greentexts every time.

I suppose it was probably reactionary originally, and now this is the counter reactionary.

>>49473261
I've no interest in suffering the barbarism that's ravaging Europe right now in the name of the false god of equality. I never said their actions were permissible, I'm saying that you can subjugate a foe without killing them. You're lazy if all you can think to do is kill a savage when you could teach it instead and preserve the civility you claim to have.

>>49473291
>>49473282
Nah, the real problem has been the reposts. You really don't see too much OC in 'em. Most are just dumps of old stuff.

>>49471783
>The Mon'keigh were at their best when they were young.
>Much more meager. Much less violent, at least they kept it to themselves.
>But even amidst times of peace for their paltry species they made great adversity for themselves.
>Take for instance, take their Emperor.
>Objectively the most capable and wise of them all, with the highest understanding of the Warp among his species.
>Yet when he reveals himself to his world, his Kin, what do they do?
>They rejected Imperial Truth at first (a half-truth though it was), ignorantly so.
>He pleaded that they heard the knocks, the eldritch anomalies so commonly associated with Chaos and the Warp,
>and now he's in a mental institution.
>It's lucky he was smarter than the other warp adepts, he merely pretended to be better and they let him go.
>Still, he desperately tries to prove that his power exists
>At every turn, his species turns their backs on him.
>So he leads from the shadows instead,
>impersonating God
>impersonating presidents, implanting thoughts into their minds
>all while his very own consider him a lunatic.
>They don't know it, but their only hope for survival...
>not only hates and resents his species for his subjugation...
>but is constantly suicidal, for he knows he'll never be able to prove that the Warp exists.
>At least, as long as he's the only one capable.
>[----||--|_\_|\\_]

>>49473291
There word you're looking for is "metacontrarian".

>>49473302
>You're lazy if all you can think to do is kill a savage when you could teach it instead and preserve the civility you claim to have.
Are you just pretending to be retarded?

I like the idea of a HFY setting where humans aren't stronger or smarter or more violent than anyone else but are objectively superior simply because of how humans look at things and how they work for the common good of all. All the aliens in this setting would represent all the darkest aspects of humanity only exaggerated.

>>49473335
That was a fairly common idea in science fiction once.

>>49471938
>It's "You survived. That is your prize."
That's kind of just humanity right now, Anon. We haven't built any grand monuments, unless you count the gratuitous amount of smog everywhere. We haven't moved mountains, or shaped valleys, or done much of anything of any impact except for pollution and strip mining. I implore the world to make bigger, grander cities but there's no reason to expand like that right now (there also isn't enough labor).

>>49473322
I'm eager to hear how you think I'm wrong, but I suppose it is retarded of me to think you'll say something you didn't just read somewhere on /pol/.

We agree with each other, the exception being our proposed solutions to the problem.

>>49473352
Star Trek? Babylon 5?

As I understand it Soviet science fiction was rather utopian, though I don't know how they handled aliens.

>>49472287
One thing that often bugs me in sci-fi is immortality being seen as the ultimate proof of advancement. This is shit, immortality leads to stagnation. Even fantasy RPGs often point out that human advantage over long-lived races is innovation, rapid influx of new ideas due to short lifespans and rapid reproduction. But for sci-fi, it's the ultimate goal.

>>49473382
>but I suppose it is retarded of me to think you'll say something you didn't just read somewhere on /pol/.
1. How does coming from /pol/ make something automatically wrong?
2. Do you honestly think your vague solution of education hasn't been tried?

>>49473321

And he didn't just explode someone's head to prove his point why?

>>49473385
That, really doesn't sound like something to be proud of.

Like, I can dig the whole part about putting the nose to the grindstone and getting things done.

But really, who wanta to die?

And it's not like Nature isn't going to do her darnedest to finish the job. Plenty of things will need work to be done.

>>49473426
Automatically wrong? Not what I'm getting at. I'm saying you haven't formed a thought yet that isn't just a half formed racial insult. /pol/ is associated with that sort of thing, which is where I assume you get it from. There are some well founded opinions on /pol/, but you don't seem to subscribe to those at all.

>>49473515
That's some nice passive-aggressive condescension, but you donged question #2.

>>49473515
>>49473560
dodged question #2

>>49473426
>Do you honestly think your vague solution of education hasn't been tried?

Not that guy but if you're talking about the US kidnapped Native American children from their families and put them in harsh Christian boarding schools, yeah, that failed big time for some pretty fucking obvious reasons.

How about Skyline? Instant abduct lights defeats puny humans and harvest them for machines.

Done by same guys who did AVP Requiem

>>49473560
I'm unsure if I'm being honest, you got me. Care to explain your stance on senseless killing?

>>49473560
>>49473571
It was fine the way you had it.

>>49473480
Not sure if you're replying to my post by intent or mistake, but...

Not saying short lifespans are something to be proud of, I'm just saying immortality is bullshit and aspiring to achieve it is stupid.

>>49473261
Shitty people will be shitty people, especially people who are raised in shitty cultures.

To default to senseless racism is beneath you and beneath anyone who genuinely wishes to make a better world.

>>49473066
No, it just happens because humans are a worthless species.

Our societies are based on fear, competition and exploration. We don't know how to properly cooperate. We suck and we will suck this while civilization to the ground.

>>49473379
>not enough labor
Anon, the worlds FULL of labor just waiting to be used. The issue is paying them as what was "fair" pay has risen with the cost of living.
Sure horhe and jesus will work all day everyday for $4 an hour and no overtime but thats a sadly small pool of labor who're willing to work for so little.

>>49473385
>yfw there are a handful of antiagapics on the market already
>yfw 3d organ printing from cell cultures on demand is less than 40 (estimated) years off
>yfw there are some new dementia treatments in trial
Shit man, under 40?
If you shell out some dough you may live forever anyway.
The time bought will buy you more time k?
Just so long as you can pay haha

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>>49473751
>yfw they say the company plan has great health insurance

>>49473385
>This is shit, immortality leads to stagnation.

Not really. The entire purpose of science, technology & philosophy are to solve the problems that exist in the world/your society. If you're immortal, it means that at some point you are /guaranteed/ to be forced to experience the problem first hand. Unlike the short-lived, when people say that in 500 years there will be horrendous storms and heat due to climate change, you hear that "if you don't change the entire lifestyle of your species and fix all the damage caused by the previous indiscrection in ten minutes at most, in 5 years you won't be able to live on this planet at all. " For the short-lived, it's "eh. Your great * 5-6, grand children will deal with it."

> Even fantasy RPGs often point out that human advantage over long-lived races is innovation

Because they're written by humans.

>>49476236

>Because they're written by humans.

Fucking this. Just because one writer interprets immortality or some shit in one way doesn't mean it's the only way to look at it.

>>49473157
technically speaking they can still invent something that is useful. Think about all the research that the nazis did on humans. Lot's of medical breakthroughs there.
The sandniggers already came up with a few ingenious ideas on how to wreck shit and get around all the high tech stuff with nothing but they dick and a few rocks and what they found.

>>49471783
hey OP go fuck yourself

>>49476904

Just a heads up: this guy's profoundly ignorant, no one should listen to him.

>>49476958
How so?

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Best Humanity Fuck You movie coming through.

>>49476904
>The nazi's were actually scarily smart
This is what /pol/ actually believes.

>>49476904
Germany had a normal amount of geniuses and idiots for a country their size, and lost several due to politics and racist policies against their own people. Sure, they had Von Braun and Heisenburg, but neither saved them from Hitler's bad ideas, nor made them superior to the US (Oppenheimer and Goddard) or the UK (Turing).

>>49477079
>>49477203
Never said they were superior or even great by global standards. Nor do i agree with them. If you question their intelligence strawman 079 look up even half the shit they made, tested, or even blueprinted up. Its just plain crazy and i wish we had those shits for rocketry.

Just that for a group that was essentially a cult they had a lot of working brains beyond average intelligence which given their policies and ideologies is just plain scary.

It'd be like if al-qaida had einstein on their side. Just the fact extremists of that sort of caliber can appeal to brains of that quality is horrifying to think of.

>>49477530
they make mortars, explosives and shit work from garbage. Pretty good applied engineering if you ask me given the conditions.
Of course they lack the training but if you look at it from a technical viewpoint they are just as creative as others, the difference is they don't have high-tech stuff so they have to figure out other ways to kill other dudes. And they come up with a literal shitton of ideas for that. Slowly by trial and error they get better at it.

>>49472870
That rather assumes you are going to win

>>49477598
Technically speaking they cobble that shit together from stolen shit.
Nails to replace firing pins in the mortars, whole tank shells filled with basic explosives a 3 year old can make with 2 wires hooked to a phone battery, guns with the guts glued to nee jankily made stocks.
Nothing wholesale or even impressive. Hell they can't even do libyan killdozers cause they don't know how to detail an engine. They also fail at basic car repair and just buy new shitty ones.

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>>49477717

>>49473379
Well... We kinda DO move mountains. Move mountains. Constantly. That's literally what strip mining is. We make valleys in mountains to make cars go through. We're working to bring things on the brink of extinction to life. We are doing our best to eliminate multiple sicknesses, and have succeeded in many. We made a massive city in a desert as a monument to our success, and everyone's looking at it and saying "Yo, what the fuck is with that city? It's kinda pointless."

I mean, yeah, humanity isn't particularly flashy, but we have had an impact on the world, even if it is mostly negative. The reason it doesn't seem flashy is because we're standing in the middle of it, and living in it's growth, and like the slow sinking of an area on a fault line, nobody notices it at all because it's happening slowly, and practically.

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i wanna fuck a xenomilf

>>49471912

New pov stealth game where you play a guardsman trying to escape an overrun imperial installation with valuable intel. Final scene: after emerging from the base finally safe, finally able to get the intelligence to your commisar, you look up to see the incoming obital bombardment of exterminatus.

Would play.

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>>49477942
Humanity isn't flashy? Speak for yourself

>>49472543
>Surprise, if you eat 3000 calories every day, your body is going to gain weight.
depends on your base metabolic rate and activity level, senpai.

>>49477904

That's...not particularly impressive anon. They're humans capable of basic problem solving, whoop-te-doo.

>>49472543

Isn't 3k caloires a day equal to a MRE? Sounds like the problem isn't how much you eat, so much as sitting on your ass all the time.

>>49473675
>horhe
jorge?

>Anon, the worlds FULL of labor just waiting to be used. The issue is paying them as what was "fair" pay has risen with the cost of living.
fair has nothing to do with it. i work at a hotel where the dishwashers get 10 an hour, full time, full benefits, paid time off, free meals and guaranteed breaks. we interview a few prospects every month, but none of them come back after doing the trial shift.
everybody wants to work until you give them this job, then it's like 'no, i don't actually want to work.' the actual truth of it is that everybody wants to fuck off at a desk browsing insta-face or whatever for $20 an hour with benefits and PTO.

>>49478184
Do you know how to make an explosively-formed projectile and set the weapon that contains it to fire on jamming signals?

>>49473157 #
Yeah, the kinds of people that maintained centuries of violent slavery, or lynched other people they didn't like because of their skin color just for fun, or who shot at women and children as part of official war policy during a war meant to force those people into reservations, or who massacred unarmed workers in order to break a strike, those kinds of people should be rounded up and shot dead. Fucking unforgivable savages.

>>49473674
>Our societies are based on fear, competition and exploration.
Those are some of the same drivers behind evolution dumb-dumb.
Get good or die like the rest, that rule is eternal.

>>49472292
>"Persistence hunting" is usually thrown around at some point.
Honestly one of the things I find most amazing about humans is your sheer efficiency. Not really strong, not really fast, but highly efficient in build and instinctive actions. Humans are pretty fucking slow, compared to pretty much all other animals about our size you are slow as shit. Nonetheless humans have excellent thermo-regulation due to having very large areas of bare skin and hair in the places where it actually helps keep you cool (primarily your heads, back hair can also help keep the sun from beating down on you). Beyond that humans are extremely efficient runners, their gait is extremely efficient for a biped as humans are able to (and the vast majority instinctively do) swing their arms opposite of their legs to keep their balance, also allowing humans ridiculous agility while running compared to most animals, juking, spinning, quickly changing direction.

Another area of human efficiency is your shoulder, arms, and hand structure. For comparison a gorilla could easily outmuscle any human by a large margin, but give a grown male gorilla and a teenage human male a baseball or javelin and the human despite being far weaker and not even fully grown yet could throw the object harder, faster, and farther than the gorilla. Finally, humans may not be as good at climbing as animals or swimming as other animals, but what makes humanity versatile in this regard is that while they aren't exceptional at either thing they are still capable of doing both fairly efficiently.

>>49478668
Not really. You don't need to "get good", you need to find a niche that lets you not die and from there you can remain millions of years relatively unchanged even if you're a useless, dumb piece of shit. Humanity will probably only survive a couple thousand years at most

>>49478746
>Humanity will probably only survive a couple thousand years at most
The thing about humanity is that it can greatly its chance of survival without evolving at all. Technology is at the point now where humanity will probably last until it destroys itself.

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>>49478632
>>49478589
>Past transgressions render a party incapable of passing judgement.

It's called a Jury of your Peers for a reason, anon.

Look, we all know Russia/Asia/Europe/America/Literally-the-entire-planet-except-perhaps-the-place-inhabited-by-penguins-alone is pretty messed up, but when even the 'bad guys' are horrified at the crimes against humanity being pulled, it bodes poorly for your argument.

>>49478783
>Technology is at the point now where humanity will probably last until it destroys itself.
Modern warfare hinges upon everyone pointing thousands of city-busting bombs at each other and hoping no one ever actually uses them for the rest of human history, not to mention the countries that also have said bombs but vehemently deny it and the one nation ruled by a psychotic dictator who somehow managed to build a few as well

>>49471863
The xenomorphs are an organic weapon. They simply use the DNA as a scaffold and take the basic shape of the creature they infect. The person eventually dying is a built in function. After all, there are xenomorph Predators and dogs. It's probably also a genetic variance thing.

>>49471863
>Also, it the alien reproduction method always struck me as really inefficient
Oh it is, its fucking awful. Especially the original way where they would turn hosts into eggs and then require ANOTHER host to infect with a chestburster. But its creepy and horrible and "bio-weapony" so works in that regard

>>49478669
>your
>not our
welcome ambassador Ayy

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>>49478897
Basically, since each of the aforementioned countries are stronger than the judged party (yes, even the penguins), and it's the duty of the weak to be subjugated by the strong, the obligation of the evil yet weak country is to be destroyed at the wishes of the strong. If it did not wish for such a state, it would have taken measures to transcend it's weakness earlier in history, rather than retreat to the pathetic retaliatory actions of a death row inmate walking the green mile.

What the pathetic fail to realize is that a alternative perspective is not a right, but a privilege that may be taken away.

>>49478077
Basically sums up the life of the guardsman right here.
>Live in the shit
>Do a bunch of shit
>Get the shit kicked out of you
>Achieve the shit you were supposed to do
>Shit didn't matter anyway.

dubs/10 would play

>>49478402
not just that but do it reliably, make lots of it and hide it in a way that the enemy won't find it in places where they will go when there are extensive efforts to find these stuff

>>49479032
That's why the most powerful empire on the planet was pushed out of india via peaceful protest and why the roman empire is still around, right?

>>49479057
I'm sure.

>>49479032
So what you're saying is that one should do evil shit if no one else can make you answer for it; it's not simply that this is the way things are, but that it's the way things ought be.

>>49479120
but are you Sherly?

>>49479074
A broad expanse of murder would've stopped both those problems. And if They were incapable of doing so, the they, at the time, were not onecessarily of the strong. India is the perfect example of what happens when the weak are not regularly subjugated; rape-trains and the ilk.

>>49479163
Absolutely. The weak must be made aware that the strong allow the weak to exist by merit of the strong's judgement, and nothing more. How else are the weak to ascend to strength but through the ample experience of what it feels to be weak?

[Spoiler] Can I still say this is all just an act and walk away with my basic human decency? [/Spoiler]

>>49479603
>Can I still say this is all just an act and walk away with my basic human decency?
you are on 4chan, human decency flew out of the window when you entered the site

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>>49471783
now kith

>>49472276
>Anno Domini 2813
>still projecting

>>49478198
Obviously, but at the same time you can't really expect someone who works a desk job for 8-10 hours a day to be able to burn 3000+ calories. Sure, they can work the fuck out after they get home but a lot of people are rightly too tired/have kids to do that.

>>49478223
I meant more like construction.
There's plenty of people that will work backbreaking work and hours for construction and all you gotta do is crack the whip occasionally so they don't laze. The issue is paying them more than $8.50 an hour while keeping your worker pool at an acceptable level. You could do $10 but suddenly you're now down a few guys you couldn't pay so the job drags and you're getting screwed and the company dies.
Worst part is lowest bidder wins the project in construction so thats even more money you don't have to pay workers and unions only BARELY solve this issue.

>>49479000
That's because they we're originally designed to wipe humanity off the planet. Engineers made the goo as a prototype and the aliens were a more streamlined product.

>>49479057
Yes. Then again i tinkered around and could do that as a child but it's been a bit.

>>49480286
i did karate back in school I probably can take down mike tyson

>>49480304
Hey now. I just admitted its a MAYBE at this point. Then again how much could chemistry, wires, and solder have changed? Only real issue would be how much easy to get electronics have changed.
Seriously though how hard is it to buy a radio?
You're making it sound WAY harder than it is.
There's a reason idiots living in shacks in the forest can build bombs or blacks in garages can cobbler together guns or trailer trash can buy a babee's first chemistry set and start cooking meth. Yes the learning is slightly out of the sphere of most people but once you know its literally scrap, solder, wires, and whatever chemicals you can easily make on hand.
Hell if you can pick up a fucking rock, cook some piss, and burn some logs you got blackpowder in a few days.
Welders super fucking easy as well hence 4 weekend classes for a certification.
Solderings like a 2 hour course of someone else showing you how to do it and not get poisoned or 1 hour of fucking around yourself.
It's literal bottom of the barrel shit and only the electronics aspect is a bit much for some people but again 5-6 hours of reading wiring for dumbies should give you more or less a crash course on making proper circuits and not blowing your shit up too early.

>>49478930
the aliens are used as an organic weapon, which means they shouldn't really persist much after the population they're used on is dead, like modern biological weapons.

In my eyes, they're meant to decimate a population that has strong defenses against other humanoids, making orbital or long-range combat easier. Creatures with no understanding of defense systems or weapons are easier to fight than a spacefaring civilization.

>>49471912
My favorite old 40k fluff is the bit about when Space Marines were tried and burned at the stake for suspected heresy.
Ordo Hereticus ftw.

>>49480587
I never took classes either and i had that shit down enough by age 13 where i'm no longer allowed to put fertilizer charges on cards.

>>49480401
>Hell if you can pick up a fucking rock, cook some piss, and burn some logs you got blackpowder in a few days.
No you can't, if you want actually useful gunpowder. You need very specific kinds of very high quality charchoal for good results

>>49480672
Shove enough of anything mildly explosive in a pressure cooker full of nails and see what happens.
It won't fire a cannon effectively or shoot bullets due to the principles involved but fuck if it won't go boom when contained properly.

>>49473385
Old people can still innovate and immortal people would not let all their experience go to waste only for a new generation to go through the same learning pains.

What bothers me is that you get these outsiders who are confused by why humans are so terrible. It just comes across as incredibly naive.

>>49472548
>tries to name something impressive
>goes with benchpressing

What must it be like, to be a being with such little ambition?

>>49473385
>>49476236
I will add that human behavior is wired to never be content. Once you have an unlimited amount of something, your next objective is making sure you have an even more unlimited amount of that thing.

When people get rich by effort (not by luck, those idiots piss it away), it doesn't matter if they have billions. They concern themselves with making sure their position is more secure. Diversifying their market. Moving to a more stable country. Gaining influence in power and politics. Because once you have unlimited wealth, losing it is the only thing you fear.

Once you have unlimited time, losing it is the only thing you fear. When you're no longer consigned to the inevitability of being poor- to the inevitability of death- the thought of being brought low again is unimaginable. You will do everything necessary to make sure it never becomes a reality. No matter how many poor people you have to fuck to ensure that.

>>49477598
Actually we gave them their weapons

>>49482229
lol. Underrated post. I give 9.5/10.

>>49482387
This. They haven't actually MADE shit. Just sort of duct taped and wd40'd shit they already had. Yes thats nice but fucking asians living in the literal dirt still made entirely functional guns modeled after garands they dissected using scrapped and rusty cars, they didn't even explode.
Now sandpeople from tattoone with legitimate trade networks and deliveries from amazon can't even make grenades that don't explode while the pins pulled and vice versa.

>>49478930
Ok. What's the coolest and what the silliest animal hybrids xenomorph would be?

>>49479032
I love how all the social darwism's goals usually end up with finding the strongest dude and sucking him off really hard.

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>>49482779

>>49482321
You talk like there is no cure for that mentality.

>>49482860
I mean....that basically check off both boxes....Right?

>>49472842
That's really only true with specific kinds of war and specific patterns of conflict over time. Vietnam sure as hell didn't enrich us, but the wars of Phillip and Alexander sure as hell enriched Macedon. Constant low-grade warfare like you often see at a tribal or village level can make for some serious stagnation. Conflicts like WWII give us some of the most rapid technological advancement in history.

>>49473674
>No, it just happens because humans are a worthless species.
Just fucking kill yourself if you really believe that.

>>49483101
The very concept of an air ambulance took off(ha) during the vietnam war. You have any idea how many people thats saved so far?
The very models of our current AR's are patterned off shit made during and improved upon during the vietnam war. How many of our soldiers lives have those saved? How many people have they protected by proxy?
You know what gunships are? Or manhunt helicopters? All the criminals they've stopped and the people they've helped?
Hell, agricultural technologies we test there have positive impacts globally and will probably be the reason we won't all starve to death from overpopulation.
War policies made on all sides save lives every damn day.
Tactics learned there are also applicable in the long list of saving lives.
Hazmat suits today have benefited directly from discoveries in vietnam.

You'll have to do better than that hippy.

>>49479057

Reliably..sure. For values of reliable. Problem is, there's no telling how many of these things never went off if they're so expertly hidden.

But yeah, I can make an EFP, I'm not up to snuff on the electronics, but then again it's not just one ISIS guy churning out the entire bomb either, is it?

Man, you really suck at logical thinking and rational comparisons.

>>49483243

Anon, you're forgetting one of the greatest military inventions that people take for granted.

Radar.

Not just air traffic control, but weather radar as well.

As far as Vietnam specifically? Well, it expanded our knowledge of pesticides. :^)

>>49483918
I was just pointing out things FROM Vietnam. Radar is a WWII invention. Funny story with that: we actually told germans through propaganda that all the carrots we fed our to kids gave nightvision to the soldier they grew up to be and they bought it for a good bit until they discovered all you could do with shoving carrots down a persons gullet day after day was make him turn orange.

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>>49471783
IT'S AN ALIEN
KILL IT!!!!!!!!

>>49472817
He lives in the states he's an American

>>49471783
I'm gonna just leave this here.

https://youtu.be/AbmDLVFAaec

>>49477056
That was less Humanity Fuck You and more Hollywood Fuck You.

>>49479054

Thank you, sir!

>>49471868
Cut myself on that post

>>49484074

>Uses the Banner

I love 40k sometimes

This was one of my favorite short stories.

“Of all the violence-capable sophont clades, Humans are the only ones who strap themselves into armored shells and drop out of the atmosphere onto enemy positions. And that’s only after they soften up any ground resistance with orbital bombardment. We are certain that they have secretly developed mind-upload technology (and thus a kind of technical immortality). The other possibility, that they are willing to throw themselves into the path of anti-starship weapons without hesitation and risk their consciousnesses, is unthinkable.”

“I once met a Human at a waystation on a Class 1 world. It did some kind of rough work for one of their colonies. It called itself a “search and retrieval expert” but I’m guessing the translation software couldn’t find the proper words. A few weeks later, it returns to the waystation, sans its trans-grav (rented, I might add). Apparently the people it was hunting took down its transport, but it continued on foot after escaping the wreckage and patching itself up. The scary part was that it was wearing clothes fashioned from Tharge pelts, had its targets’ ears on a necklace (DNA proof, I guess), and had fashioned a spear from a jagged piece of the trans-grav’s hull and an Iron-root. And it was honestly none the worst for wear, just sauntered over to the AENet terminal and collected on its kills.”

>>49485118
"You want to know about the humans? Let me tell you something, comrade. You want to stay far away from them if they're in a fighting mood, because there are plenty of them to go around, and they're not at all shy about killing each other to get the pleasure of killing you."

"Eighteen years back, I was serving with the Coalition in the Battle of N49. Us, the [Andromedans], and the [Milky Way Defense Command], all against the Red Star Council. And about halfway through the battle one of their big cruisers- you know the type- gets into a direct gun-duel with one of the Council's big gunships. They get torn apart in short order, but we've got our hands full and no way to evac them. We expected them to sue the Council for their surrender, and I think they did too."

"Instead, the crazy [untranslatable] fire up the main engines and drive their ship STRAIGHT INTO THE COUNCIL BATTLECRUISER. And as if that wasn't enough, while everyone's staring at the debacle, they touch off their reactors!"

"There were seventeen thousand humans crewing that ship. I saw the battle report afterwards- the Council folded almost immediately after the battlecruiser went. They deemed it "a regrettable but acceptable loss."


"Stay far away from the human sectors, comrade."

>>49480513

The aliens themselves don't seem to persist, but they do seem to enter a dormant state. The eggs can last even longer.

So regardless of the conclusions you draw, they still function as a rather effective area denial weapon even after populations are depleted.

>>49472403
I acknowledged our flaws in my post. Learn to read.

>>49472405
And you sure showed me with that cartoon reaction image didn't you.

>>49472548
Funny you should say this I can bench my bodyweight. Also I may not be anything grand myself but I'm part of a species with some fucking incredible individuals.

On the topic of strength and fitness however as a human, I can massively increase my strength, power, fitness, muscular endurance and flexibility with dedicated training.

For example, my shoulder press used to be pretty garbage. I struggled with 15 reps of 45kg on a machine. Because of this, I trained hard and I can manage 32kg shoulder press free weight (for 15) and on a machine I can do 15 reps of 130kg. Quite an improvement right? I know that 32kg isn't that impressive but it's an area I'm weak in. Doesn't help I keep getting injured haha, I've had some real setbacks over the years.

That's something I like about humans, whether it be mental or physical if we try hard to improve it, we usually can, and often we can increase our capability in whatever we choose several times over.

Plenty of people can achieve "truly impressive" if they train hard enough.

>>49479924
>2012
>2813?

>>49488602
*Ignore the name field I was dicking about in that galactic community thread yesterday.

However, for the sake of fantasy settings I think that humans fuck you is a perfectly good premise.

I imagine if we got to space anytime soon and hung out with aliens we'd likely get ourselves in trouble.

>>49488621

I just don't like it when people are against humanity in ttrpg because they are self loathing society hating anarchists in real life.

>>49472755
If they're a bunch of stone age rapists who breed profusely and contribute nothing to the improvement of humanity, of course it is.

>>49473582
That movie was crap.

>>49478077
I once wrote a fanfic similar to this, where a Chaos Marine is attempting to get off-world before its consumed by Warp Storms, and a single Guardsman whose orders are simply "stop him leaving at all costs". The Marine has all the advantages, but the Guardsman holds his own through guerilla tactics, a lot of luck and plenty of Imperial equipment left abandoned, such as a Missile Launcher. Imagine something similar to Alien: Isolation in an urban environment, but you can eventually kill the Xenomorph with enough hit and run attacks.

>>49480513
>>49487790
This was all speculated on by Ridley Scott, and that the vessel discovered on LV-426 was some kind of bomber.

>>49490064
link?

>>49490259
>ancient 11 year old bad spelling edition:
http://z4.invisionfree.com/ironwarriors/index.php?showtopic=3441&hl=

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>>49471783

>>49472516
At some point we should be allowed to just give this people a humane death and process their bodies for fuel.

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>>49477955
anon pls

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>>49491193
>1.Provide free liposuction to the morbidly obese.
>2.Mass produce high end soap.
>3.???
>4.Profit!

>>49493619
But liposuction is more expensive than the materials you get out of it.

>>49493649
That's only because it's plastic surgery. Liposuction preformed for the purpose of harvesting fat rather than making a person attractive would be inherently cheaper

>>49472276
Honestly, I just like thinking about people dying in overwrought and horrifying ways.