Lawful Stupid

>>49426481
Proceed.

>>49426481

Yes.

>>49426481
Post the story or piss off but stop attention whoring.

>>49426547
>>49426541

Alright, had to switch to Mobile to post shit. Give me a moment.

So this is a homebrew campaign set to 3.5e. Some homebrew races and classes scattered but nothing too crazy.

The story: Party is summoned (literally, a summoner pulled us all out of our respective homes) to help rescue a girl from a cult.


**The Party:** There are ten of us, and we're all various shades of alignment, minus LN and any evil. A few veterans to D&D, but most are people who have only played out one campaign, if any at all. We all are friends out of game.


**The Story so far:** We made it through the town with a few hiccups and made it to the lair of the cult. Hiccup came in the form of self-righteousness by LG Paladin attacking a shopkeeper who is selling cult stuff for money some murder (turns out town cleric was a doppelgänger) and sweet talking later, we get on our way, despite all of us (minus our high-priestess-cleric who worships the same God as Lawful Stupid) totally ready to kill our Paladin. We leave town, still debating over the nuances of Heironeous. We then run into a bandit group who, obviously, tries to murder us. We go through our fight only to have the cleric heal one of the enemies in the middle of combat. So we all lose our shit, in game and out. Ranger decides enough is enough, and in the fog of battle (In the obscuring mist, actually, thanks to our Druid.), he makes a attempt on our a Cleric's life. He misses, unnoticed by all, and everybody is none the wiser. We wrap up our battle and after much in game banter later, we iron out the problems and continue on our way. Fastforward to now, we found our target and saved the fuck out of her. As we were ready to leave with 10 year old in tow, our Paladin decides that he has to take the Ranger into custody so he can stand trial for his crimes (Apparently our Ranger embodies all that is evil, because he worships Fir, and so he must be punished.) It was at this point where shit went wild.

>>49426619
Hope everyone fucking loves initials, cause this is about to go fuckin wild.

The Party Involved: While i'd love to run down a description of our party of 10, I'm going to make it easy and just give you the main people at play.

CF, our Human Paladin. War torn soldier who worships Heironeous in a way that would put most people to shame.


A, our Human Cleric/High-Priestess. Former Pelor follower who gets visions from Heironeous.


D, our Tiefling Rogue. Quiet, not murdery, but hasn't done anything worthy of pissing off anybody at any point.


T, our Air Genasi Ranger. Sweet talker, hunter, and pretty laid back dude. Only mentioned Fir when directly asked about who he worshipped, and hasn't brought him up since.


X, our Tiefling Swashbuckler. Plays by the beat of his own drum, but not evil. Definitely in it for the money, and the fame. Close friends with T.


Finally, C, myself. A Ursa Cannoneer. Sheriff from a small town, NG alignment, and party face. Wants to make it out alive and get home to his town.

>>49426704


**The clusterfuck:** Having saved the girl and having killed the rest of the bad guys in the room, we decided our best idea was to move forward. We're all ready to go when suddenly CF decides he's going to attack T. Nobody likes this, so we all roll to do a spot check. A notices but only because she's right there and she lets this happen. T rolls to diplomacy, passes, and drops his weapons and what not and begs to be spared. CF gives no fucks and is ready to kill this guy harder than Anakin killed the Tusken Raiders. (Should have been Jar-Jar.). However, in successfully rolling diplomacy, T stops CF for a moment and alerts the rest of us to what is going on. X, D, and C approach this situation, completely fucking stunned. After many speeches, a few rolls, a fucking message from HEIRONEOUS (AKA DM to A), and having our fucking target run off with half our party in tow, CF is still fully convinced he wants to either murder T, or have him stand trial.

HOWEVER, CF can no longer attack T without losing his Paladin status due to an alignment switch, because T is unarmed. CF begins to tie up T, determining this to be the best course of action. X tells CF to let him go, or he'll shoot him.C is furious at this point and tells X to stand down, trying to avoid conflict between players. C argues that since he represents actual law, that T will be his problem and that he'll take him to trial after this ordeal. CF refuses to hand over/free T, and so shit starts getting real. IRL tensions are high, and the other half of the party is already finished with tonight's session, leaving five of us to argue. C issues ultimatum, finally pissed off enough to the point where killing CF no longer is an issue of ethics but is now a question of how.


Ultimatum is presented as: Free T, and let this go. Go barebones (no armor, no weapons) and fight in a trial by combat for T's freedom, or die.

>>49426739
OP here, still posting, just curious as to how many people are reading.
I really hoped he would have chosen the first one, but I was pining for him to choose trial by combat as well. But he wouldn't budge. At this point I had enough. I fired my cannon at him. 9. His armor class was 19. Miss.


CF completely unfased by the cannonball, says he doesn't want to fight C, and that this matter is between him and T. C claims that after being dragged through literal pools of blood, having to pay off a gnome shopkeeper, comforting an elf who was forced to murder a retreating enemy, and standing up for him, he is totally a fucking part of this matter.


X goes to free T, and is tackled by A who then starts to tie him up. Only D and C remain, and C is fucking *livid*.


C has a moment of fight or just give the fuck up. I roll a D20, odds mean fight, evens mean let it go.


1.


C starts taking off his chainmail, leaving himself wearing only his leggings and boots. C drops cannon and is ready to fucking go.


CF tells C that he'll let T go if T explains why he worships Fir.


C has gone full honey badger. He doesn't give a fuck. The smell of the blood in the room and the pure anger and rage is completely taking over. C is out for blood.

>>49426866
Last part of the story, but I'm definitely not done.
DM realizes that this is about to happen and tells everyone to listen to T, because T's totally gonna tell his backstory. Which he does. T worships Fir cuz Fir just fucking up and decided to murder T's family for no reason. T worships out of fear. Not because of some stupid mundane reason.


Silence.


DM has CF use detect evil on T, because, fuck me, he still hasn't done this in the whole 4 session's we've played.


No evil.


Because making sense and being a fucking normal human isn't part of CF's basic human functions, this is a great time to have people convert to Heironeous.


A frees X, and T is freed by CF. C calms down, the blood lust fading. We walk back to the rest of our party, and wrap up our session.

>>49426916
TL;DR

Fuck Heironeous, Fuck Paladins, Fuck LG, and fuck my dice.

Good news is, if CF is in any way a rational human being, he feels like the dumb motherfucker he is.

If you really want to fuck with him, don't kill him. Trick him into falling. If he's as bad as you say he is he'll probably snap and that could be fun.

>>49427022
Meh, CF is doing this for shits and giggles. He found a way to be evil but not evil alignment, which was expected. At this point I'm not gonna waste energy letting game feels get into IRL feels.

meh. either he's a very shitty paladin to make such a dumbass mistake like that or he's doing it for shit and giggles because he's awfully bored of the session

You all seem way too eager to start killing each other.

>>49429260
You should have seen the campaign we played over the summer...

Reminds me of a Cruzeladin.