That Guy thread, my dudes?

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since we're on the topic of cringey shit, i might as well give you this gem from the depths of /b/ screencaps, just cuz i like you guys ;-;

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>>49404175

>>49404030
I popped a chubby....

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>>49404192

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>>49404205

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>>49404220

>>49404175
>>49404192
>>49404205
>>49404220
>>49404231
nice

>>49404033
Oh hey, I'm quoted in this one! God, that OP was a fucker.

>>49404175
>>49404192
>>49404205
>>49404220
>>49404231

Fucking amazing. Any chance someone can turn those into a single image?

>>49407246
What's so amazing about it?

>>49404044
Jesus fucking christ do people like this actually exist? I genuinely didn't think autism could get that bad without crossing into non-functional potato mode.

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>>49407256

It features an absolute autist of a GM who manages to do everything wrong when it comes to GMing and it's just fun to read. Why?

>>49407319
Sometimes, Autism doesn't manifest as "hurr durr potato." There are times where it manifests as something darker. This unholy degeneracy is what happens when the seed of Autism, a fragment of the original Autist Soul that resides within all of us, actually sprouts in someone with enough cognitive ability to understand that they desire such dark actions. This is the kind of Autism that fully forms after someone has already developed enough to function on their own, so in a sense this is Autism when its not limiting its own ability for evil.

Remember, Autism isn't a medical condition. It's a fragment of the Soul of our true ancestor that resides within all of us. This is what happens when one is born with several fragments, or when their life somehow introduces and reinforces certain beliefs in regards to themselves and the world around them.

>>49407692
Yeah I guess it's Autism without the self doubting, when you're not thinking "is this ok, do normal people do this?" you really don't have anything holding you back mentally, it's a scary thought.

>>49408140
Intensive self reflection from an objective standpoint is the only thing that keeps me from descending.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7AXXwK7Y5E

>>49408228
Basically the same thing for me, I'm actually kinda scared that I could end up like that guy if I don't make some effort to stay connected to the real world.

>>49407335
>File: Larry the Transgender Rapist.png (304 KB, 1680x3505)

I don't fucking understand how this shit gets so out of hand. How fucking autistic do you have to be to let someone lovingly describe jamming their cock down someone's throat instead of telling them to cut that shit out?

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>>49407246
Not a single image, but fewer than 5 is better, right?

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>>49408642

>>49404030
Why have you posted a /v/ tier image composition?

>>49407335
jesus christ, what a way to meet your significant other.
im honestly not even wierded out or anything that's just amazing
i hope they're doing well

>>49408642
>>49408672
much better

>>49408640
Morbid curiosity or shock, I guess.
Maybe they think it would end in a witty/funny joke.

Gonna copy paste this from another thread. Have many James more stories if there is interest.

> 19, in college playing 3.5e with friends.

> the 3 rotating dms are me, Sam, and Franco. We are the 3 competent players as well. The others either never bothered to learn or didn't care much.

> Then there is James. James plays a self insert of his self inserted wow mage. In his mind this is a charismatic chaotic-stupid half elf sorcerer who only takes evocation spells. He also has a nasty habit of wanting every piece of cool sounding loot, even when the "loot" is really just an intricately described thing we are supposed to sell for gold as it does nothing.

> Sam is dming, he gives us a slull necklace which resonates of evil magic. Our quest is to iinvestigatethe necklace..

> Franco, being a Paladin, insists in character he take the evil artifact.

> Too late though, as James, being the self appointed party face has snatxhed the necklace and won't give it up.

> Fast forward, James is left unconscious after a fight, Franco goes over to revive him and before doing so takes the skull, not trusting a chaotic stupid with an evil artifact.

> James pitches an OOC fit then as soon as he gets up says he takes it back. Franco says no, Jaes says to roll initiative not understanding a low level evocation only sorc can't fight a well optimized paladin. Franco hits him over the head, James is now unconscious again.

> In a fit of rage he leaves.

> Later that night he confronts Franco in his room, demands an apology.

> Franco explains it was just roleplaying, he did what his character would do. James isn't having it.

> He backs Franco into a corner and demands an apology. Franco lays a hand on his shoukder and whispers "The skull is mine." James tries to choke him, not seriously but tonextort an apology. Either way it was pretty fucked, but funny.

>>49415108
Many more James stories*

>>49412687
That DM needs a pretty big lesson in how to not let your players become a goddamn talking corgi worshiping a fucking sock puppet.

also here's the whine thread the corgi made
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/42417935
He conveniently forgets to mention him being a corgi worshiping a sock but still calls Milforg or whatever a shit god.

>>49408640
I had to sit and listen to a fucking bloodplay scene at a vtm session. It happens more often than you think

>>49415304
>He conveniently forgets to mention him being a corgi worshiping a sock but still calls Milforg or whatever a shit god.

>Actually, it's those two that are the outliers in the setting, I get that it's goofier than most games, hell I'm playing a corgi warlock that worships a sock-based Cthulhu knock-off, it's just that the majority of the party act with some semblance of intelligence and morality, but these two cause trouble, and I always get turned into the bad guy when I try to fix their shit so we don't have to fight angry villages or scores of violent woodland critters(the cleric stole alcohol from a bear's cave, and then blamed the entire thing on me...).

Actually, he forgot to mention the part where he was purposely being a liability to the party and the part where he was an annoying prick

>>49415386
Ah shit, I can't fucking read.
It's still weird how NO ONE mentions or thinks a corgi worshiping a sock god is weird compared to mr viva la revolution

>>49415420
They don't mention anything but almost the moment he mentions he's a corgi warlock the thread dies.

>>49404030
What is wrong with this?

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>>49415108
more please!

>>49407319
You are talking about people on /b/, the same board where someone asked for advice on what to kill Osama bin Laden with and took a gun, sword and grenade to the airport and got arrested and someone posted the pictures of a woman he murdered and got arrested shortly afterward

>be in highschool d&d club (senior, just turned 18)
>homeschooled kid joins club
>lacking in social skills, really weeby, but acceptable otherwise
>after a few games with him, it becomes apparent that he really, really likes dragons
>only plays dragonborn or dragon-related characters
>current character is pact of the chain warlock with weird reverse familiar situation (human character who is the familiar and puppet of psudodragon)
>has tons of dragon t-shirts and multiple dragon figurines at his home, talk about how cute other players dragonborn characters are (player seemed mildly uncomfortable with this)
>o-okay
>I suggest playing Stars Without Number, volunteer to GM
>he privately messages me expressing how sad he is that there are no dragons in SWN
>asks to play a homebrew draconic race who was mutated by The Scream and is now basically a dragonic
>Tell him that I need to think it over and will get back to him
What do /tg/? I don't want to shoot his idea down, but it's shit.

>>49417591
Shoot it the fuck down. Be ready to fend off attempts to blow up your campaign.

>>49417591
As the DM it's your job to make sure everyone is having fun. If you think it would ruin you and the other players enjoyment of the game to have a draconic mutant running around then sure, veto it, but otherwise, what's the harm?

>>49417591
Shoot this fucking yiff fag down

>>49417838
>>49417844
Why?
There doesn't seem to be any indication that this guy is planning to go all magical realm, what's the harm in letting him play a dragon mutant thing?

>>49417591
Well if his obsession stays as "i like them" instead of "i want to fuck them and will express that desire like there was a megaphone super-glued to my face" then it's entirely up to you if you think it would even work within the setting or if it just doesn't match the tone and setting.

>>49417878
For starters
>talk about how cute other players dragonborn characters are (player seemed mildly uncomfortable with this)
that's already showing the soil on which the piss forest shall grow

Second, the more you let him do, the more obsessed he'll get.
Give 'im a good old speech about how roleplaying is trying out something different etc etc

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>>49404030
I witnessed two neckbeards, two bards actually, roleplay their characters flirting and then having sex.

My horror turned into laughter when the male bard went
>As soon as I put it in, I shoot.

There's nothing better than humor to stop magical realms!

>>49417927
Didn't see that, you're right, if they're making other people uncomfortable then that stuff has to stop.

Be gentle though. I've been there, I had a breakdown in year 7 and homeschooled until year 9. It was really tough reintegrating, and I was lucky enough not to have picked up any weird fetishes/delusions along the way.

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>started DMing a new campaing recently
>party gets tricked by street kids and some of them manage to steal a few coins
>start chasing them and manage to get every single one of them
>one of the players murders 3 kids, the other two enslave the rest of them
>Mfw i dont even understand how the party touched ground so quickly

>>49417838
>>49417843
>>49417844
>>49417927
>>49417987
Alright, thanks for the advice. I'm planning to vetoing the mutant bit but allowing him to play a (toned down) lizardfolk-y race. I'll see if I can nudge him towards trying something new while I'm at it.

>>49418034

Make them learn there are consequences. Don't be a dick about it, but weave it into the story. Make the city investigate the death of 3 children, have law enforcement chase them, etc. Make it fun, but make sure actions have consequences.

>>49419235
And worse come to worse, sudden impromptu legal drama.

>>49417591
We had a brony in our RT group who wanted to play as a pony. Our GM went ahead and made a planet of abhumans (some with wings, some with horns/psykic powers) and called them not-ponies. Our brony made a character with these rules, ended up being chill, and game continued as normal.

So long as he doesn't try to hijack your game or blow up your campaign, I don't see any problems with this.

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This isn't quite That Guy territory, I just want to share an anecdote from my recent campaign start

>good friend joins the group
>never roleplayed before, but I know he writes a lot of fantasy by himself
>he's very excited
>during character building he asks me to play as his homebrewed race
>literal god in human form walking the earth with superpowers
>tone it down so that he's a god trapped in a human body with human limitations, but he may be able to unlock some divine aspects through questing and trials
>second session he hands me a note across the table
>"tomorrow a divine messenger brings me a quest to find the Sword of Truth"

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>>49404044
> /B/ you fucked me
God I'm dying

>>49407319

I feel the need to point out that "autism" isn't an umbrella term for mental sickness or psychological issues. An autistic person is trapped inside their own head and has severe difficulties in connecting to others. A person who masturbates onto a sleeping child and blames others for putting the idea in their head, is simply deranged.

Then again, it's possible you know this well, and you're simply using autism as a buzzword.

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>>49417591
Kick him. Now.

Furries are degenerate trash who should be gunned down in the streets.

>>49408640
Shock is a hellava thing

>>49419235
Thing is, they were in the shady parts of town, and no one important enough to do something cares about some street urchin... So i rlly dont know if doing something about it would make me a shitDM

>>49424523

Perhaps the kids had friends who hold to the "mess with one of us, mess with all of us" credo? Or perhaps they were runners for some mid-level crime boss, merely stealing from people as a way to supplement their income?

>>49423726
I'd definitely say that's That Guy territory, but not beyond the point of no return, since he's new to the medium. Just take him aside and explain that's not how it generally works, and make sure he understands, agrees to and is comfortable with that.

Mind you, I don't have high hopes for his writing if that's his standard of character.

>>49424600

Yeah, I'd peg him for That Guy clean and square, if not for the fact that I know him. I'm almost entirely sure that this is because he simply wants to play the part of an amazing, epic protagonist, and not because he's trying to powergame or something. In the end, I came up with a side objective for him and explained that that mission is why he's human in the first place, so that he can intercede in the mortal realm.

I really should read some of his writing to see if it's all Mary Sues there, as well.

>never played with a That Guy
>campaigns I was in have always been pleasant and mostly tasteful
I feel like I'm missing out.

>>49424708
>protagonists of his writing are all him, but with 20s in every stat and an 11 inch dick

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>>49424780

Well, his character does sleep around as much as he possibly can, but I'll have to give him props for that one, because he actually based that off Greek myths depicting gods as horny bastards. So his character is simply hyper-sexual and goes after fat, ugly and crippled women just as readily as the attractive ones.

>>49424892

You know, I've been to a million that guy threads, but I've never really told the that guy story me and my friends recall (not very) fondly. It involves psionics, dragon rape, tolerable furfags, intolerable spergs, and being chased around a hotel. If anyone's interested, I can start typing the fucker out.

>>49425708

Well, I'm sure as hell interested now.

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>>49417844
>dragons
>yiffing

You can't seriously be this retarded. 'Yiffing' is not some generic term for sex with non-humans, you giant spastic horse cunt.

It refers to the stupid yelping sounds that foxes etc make when they mate (if you live with urban foxes, you will have heard it). Dragons don't make that sort of noise because they're enormous fucking reptiles, not small mammals.

You are stupid. You are wrong, Kill yourself a thousand times. Yeah I mad - not just at one ignorant little shitposter like you, you're some rando from /v/ anyway, but at the entire apathetic shitposting culture on the internet that lets sloppy inaccurate shit slide and destroys everything useful about language. Fuck you.

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>>49425924

For what it's worth, here's one anon who is entirely in your camp.

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I don't really have That Guy stories, but I do have many, many stories from my online roleplay days involving sparklewolves. Some involved me, some didn't. Some are absolutely chaos, some were fun as hell.

Three come to mind instantly - The Assassination, The "Cleansing," and The Sex Rock.

>>49425745

So here goes...

>Years ago. Going to a comic/anime con with friends, everyone's hyped
>Party going in: Me, GF at the time, Best friend, Raver friend there for the end-of-day raves and not much else and Cosplaybro
>Have fun for a while, splitting off and doing our own thing. Me and GF go to
>Eventually we reconvene downstairs.
>Cosplaybro has a second place victory in a costume contest for his pimped-out IG getup (first was some hot weeb girl, natch)
>Raverbro got a girl's phone number and a bunch of weeb swag
>Best friend loads up on comic books
>Spirits are high. We realize that the room downstairs we've convened by is a conference room. It has a sign over the door.
>"Tabletop gaming area"
>It's dead. Empty. Nobody home.
>Decide we'd run a game in our collective homebrew system, see if we couldn't drum up interest.
>Raverbro has places to be, but he's coming back so he figures he can find some extra players

It always starts so simple, doesn't it?

>>49426270

>Cosplaybro plays (surprise, surprise) a dimensionally-stranded IG
>GF Plays a blood witch
>Best friend plays an old character of his, a goomba (a la mario) who was transformed into a 40k ork via a mad scientist
>Eventually raverbro comes back as we finish up char creation, brings some new people and helps with Gming stuff
>None of them are that guy, so based on their characters we'll call them Ninja, Werewolf and Furfag
>was iffy on furfag because he seemed low-key furry
>Furfag wasn't actually much of a furfag (publically) but I'm calling him that cause he played a cat-person
>I set up something that a lot of people could drop in or out of
>Everyone's captured, big prison in a cordoned-off part of the city, secret police everywhere trying to hunt them
>New players are newly-escaped prisoners who meet up with the group during the prison break
>Players start in individual cells but break out
>Ninja is fist out, uses his lockpick to get IG and Witch free
>Witch uses her blood magic and a bit of IG's blood to pick another lock while ninja scouts ahead
>Furfag converses with his cellmate, werewolf, and learns the normal-looking dude hulks out in moonlight
>One racial for cat people is the ability to sense where the moon is in the sky
>Furfag gets out a coin, shines it a bit, and uses it to reach a hand out the cell window bars and reflect moonlight
>Werewolf goes kool-aid man into goombork's cell
>Commence dispatching guards and advancing out of the prison
>Everyone's having a blast, newcomers really like the homebrew.

It all looked so promising, to start...then HE showed up.

>>49426283

>Ninja, unfortunately, has other con shit to go do. So he demolitions his way through a wall and then 'goes to get his clan'
>The girl raverbro was hitting on shows, and now he's out too because the pussy calls
>Down a player and a co-GM, we hoped someone new would show up
>Monkey's paw
>This dude shows up. Looks like he's balding at age 20, greasy strands of combover everywhere
>Glasses have goku on them
>Smelled like aftershave. Violently so. To the point where furfag looked visibly nauseated
>Nasally Urkel voice Seriously, like a white Steve Urkel
>He asks about the setting a little and we tell him it's cyberpunk meets MTG meets the warriors
>He doesn't listen, goes off about the song of ice and fire for like five minutes
>Continue to GM as he bugs peripheral players deciding whether or not he wants to join
>Tell him, since dimensional travel is a thing, he can play just about anything from anywhere
>His eyes light up like a napalm sunrise and he starts telling us about his book
>His fucking book
>He starts by telling us that 'his book would give us iron poisoning'
>'Because it has so much irony!'
>nobody laughing. He tries to push it like it's comedy gold
>'Iron? Irony? That's how you'd get poisoned.'
>After awkward moments of nobody laughing, he just lapses into a story about his setting
>I'll call him Iron boy

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>>49425924
>actually knowing the jargon of furfaggots
... son

>>49426294

>Keep in mind, he hasn't decided to roll a char yet, the game is still going, he's literally just hovering at the table talking
>I can't even tell you what the hell his storyline was about, but it had a few central components
>Dragons raped humans and that's what made elves/dwarves/orcs etc. He mentioned this several times
>Loads of generic fantasy trite. A lich threatens the kingdom of not!Bretonnia and a generic party stops them
>Basically the dragons come back to deus ex machina the lich or some shit, and 'tell people how to live right'
>Create some freakish race of 'super people' that are your average tryhard PART ELF/DWARF/ORC/DRAGON/FAIRY
>More fractions in his race than a 3rd grade math test
>The dragons gave them psionics to beat evil magic or something stupid, because OF COURSE THEY DID
>Dragonspawned master race makes everything sparkly perfect the end
>Guess what he wants to play?
>I'm immediately ready to boot him, but furfag (filthy degenerate he was) wanted to give the guy a chance
>I admit, I pity the mega-autists too. It's gotta suck with zero social interaction.
>I gave him a shot
>I shouldn't have

The fun's only begun. Next, he rolls his character...

>>49426309

>The entire time he was talking, people were trying to give him tidbits on how the system worked
>Not-so-subtly telling Iron Boy to roll a char or STFU
>In this system, physical stats are determined by the size of your race (buffed by skills) while mental stats WERE skills
>Dude says his race has maxed out stats. Completely broken
>Tell him he starts out with human physical stats and he's not happy
>Says I'm 'stepping on his vision' in a whiny tone
>About to kick him then and there, but it's been such a good day and I'm too damned nice
>Just tell him he can take his retarded strength in skills if he wants to later. He grumbles but moves on
>Next we try to figure out the character's base HP and MP, pretty standard. I let him take above average HP to shut him up
>I start to set up MP and he holds me up. I figure he's gonna ask for a ridiculous sum of points again, but it's worse
>'I don't use MP, I use Psi Points'
>'MP is just a cover-all term here. You can activate spells, psi, trained skills, even martial arts with it, so it's--'
>'But it's not magic it's psionics, so it should be Psi Points.'
>'I'm telling you, that wouldn't matter, and it's already on the character sheet as--'
>'I'm changing it to psi points'
>Okay what the fuck ever, I'm not gonna have an argument over terminology that changes nothing
>We move to skills. he spends all his points on hovering, telekinesis, mind reading etc.
>Points are spent, and he starts adding strength-boosting skills to his sheet
>Tell him he can't have those unless he swaps some psi powers
>Iron boy insists it's 'what his race would have' even though for racial abilities I already let him take free psionics
>Players are already so sick of this. Werewolf says 'just let him have the strength'
>I say fuck it, fine, no matter how scary he is I'm the GM and I can come up with something scarier

>>49426331

>Figure char creation's over, but he wants the ability to 'overjoy' people
>Ask him what justifies him having that ability
>In his setting, apparently the emotion the mother of these bastard mutant freaks 'is tied to' is something they control
>Ask him what he means by 'is tied to'
>'When the dragons bred her, she was overjoyed to have their seed, and thus her son spreads joy!'
>Everyone, including furfag, looking uncomfortable
>I say something about how I've given him a ton of stuff already, he argues that it's 'what's right for the character'
>I make up some bullshit about how 'being taken to this realm has stifled your emotions' and he grumbles but accepts it
>At that point, he actually joins the game

I wish I could say he integrated well and the game went smoothly, but this is a that guy thread.

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>>49426294
>Glasses have goku on them

>>49426350

>Players bust into one of the prison facility buildings to find a sort of 'maximum security' cell.
>This weirdo's inside, 'whispering to the minds of the party'
>Whispering things like 'don't be a fraid' and 'I will protect you' to my GF's char
>The blood witch who could probably murder even his bloated, overstatted concession of a character
>Specifically tell him that, aside from telepathy, none of his psychic powers work in his cell
>Continually tries to telekinesis this or that, failing, getting frustrated
>Werewolf figures out there's a key card reader, is about to go out and see if any of the guards that were killed had one
>Iron boy says don't bother, and then does something stupid
>'I beam moonlight to him psionically so he can break me out'
>I ask him how he expects to do that, but he just says 'I beam the concept of moonlight to him'
>I go with it. Werewolf has a feeling like he's about to walk into moonlight, nothing else happens
>Werewolf says it's stupid and tries to look for that card reader
>Iron boy is trying his hardest to get him to stay because HE KNOWS THIS WILL WORK
>Werewolf finally disregards, goes and quickly finds a key card, gets him out without incident
>Iron boy AIN'T HAVIN' IT.

>>49426294
>His eyes light up like a napalm sunrise

This is a lovely turn of phrase, anon. Well done.

>>49426364

>Iron boy is pissed now, tells werewolf he should have waited
>Werewolf starts listing numerous problems with the plan, including how he has little control over actions in beast form
>Including how he wasn't even sure if he could break through the special, high-tech walls of this cell
>Including how 'beaming the concept of moonlight' is stupid
>Iron boy has had it, and literally says 'stand back, fair lady' to GFs witch
>He decides to telekinetically slam werewolf, in human form, into the ground.
>I cheese. I cheese really hard in werewolf's direction.
>A pair of sixes from Iron Boy indicates that no amount of cheese bests a crit
>Werewolf, however, had the ability to change when in life-threatening danger, and popped it off
>Mid-transofrmation, he was slammed into the ground hard enough to knock him out
>Blood witch tries to get him back up with restorative blood magic, Iron boy furious that his 'fair lady' isn't taking his side
>'Now, we go to find this prison's warden and convert him to the side of justice!' Iron boy proclaims
>Everyone else is arguing for getting the fuck out of here, tell him that's a dumbass idea
>At that point he threatens the party with psionics for 'obstructing justice'
>Says the werewolf can 'stay here and think about what he's done'
>Werewolf and furfag are realizing where this is headed, and want no part
>There's other con shit to do, they decide that their characters are taking off to look for a way out in the sewers
>Actually have them roll before they leave, they pull it off. Never see either one again.

Two players down now, but he's not content to leave any of us unmolested.

>>49426364

>Iron boy is pissed now, tells werewolf he should have waited
>Werewolf starts listing numerous problems with the plan, including how he has little control over actions in beast form
>Including how he wasn't even sure if he could break through the special, high-tech walls of this cell
>Including how 'beaming the concept of moonlight' is stupid
>Iron boy has had it, and literally says 'stand back, fair lady' to GFs witch
>He decides to telekinetically slam werewolf, in human form, into the ground.
>I cheese. I cheese really hard in werewolf's direction.
>A pair of sixes from Iron Boy indicates that no amount of cheese bests a crit
>Werewolf, however, had the ability to change when in life-threatening danger, and popped it off
>Mid-transofrmation, he was slammed into the ground hard enough to knock him out
>Blood witch tries to get him back up with restorative blood magic, Iron boy furious that his 'fair lady' isn't taking his side
>'Now, we go to find this prison's warden and convert him to the side of justice!' Iron boy proclaims
>Everyone else is arguing for getting the fuck out of here, tell him that's a dumbass idea
>At that point he threatens the party with psionics for 'obstructing justice'
>Says the werewolf can 'stay here and think about what he's done'
>Werewolf and furfag are realizing where this is headed, and want no part
>There's other con shit to do, they decide that their characters are taking off to look for a way out in the sewers
>Actually have them roll before they leave, they pull it off. Never see either one again.

Two players down now, but he's not content to leave any of us unmolested.

>>49426364
>>'I beam moonlight to him psionically so he can break me out'

What is this supposed to mean?

>>49404044
I'll take things that never happened for 400 Alex!

Seriously, I take everything that happens on /b/ with a grain of salt.

>>49426500

Ah, nevermind. Werewolf. Gotcha.

>>49426379
>>49426468

Fuck, double post

>Iron boy is now content to try and hijack everything.
>Every time goombork is about to do something orky, Iron boy steps in and uses psi
>Every time the witch gets into a fight, Iron boy steps in to 'protect' her
>IG is playing in character, regarding the psionics as heretic forces
>Iron boy is trying to 'convince' (brainwash) the IG into thinking psi is good
>I fudge in IGs favor constantly, so that this is all little more than telepathic pop-ups to him
>PCs decide that, while they're dragged along to this warden (which, btw, Iron boy has no idea the location of) they'll escape
>When breaching a room, they cause as much havoc as possible, blowing open walls and firing wildly
>Attracts a fuckton of guards to the area who are all on him while the rest slip off
>I'm not playing nice now, so I have guards with anti-psi armor and psi-kill rounds show up
>They surround him and they ask him what made him think coming back to the center of the prison was a good call
>He decides he's going to 'overjoy' them because that's (apparently) magic and not psionics
>I tell him he doesn't have that skill, and he flips, saying that he's always had it and it's a part of his race.
>I tell him we agreed in character building he doesn't have it
>He lies and basically tries to tell me that I allowed him to do whatever he wanted
>Iron boy is arguing for this like he's arguing to evade the death penalty
>Finally give the fuck in and let him joy out the commander, causing the others to open fire and initiating combat
>At this point I'm just fucking done, and I decide to do a happy ending version of 'rocks fall'
>Basically the clan that ninja went to go get came, started a ninja riot
>Main party escapes through the breached wall and get away.
>Iron boy is still in a crowd of guards and ninjas but IDGAF about him or his stupid story
>It's over, thank god. IG goes to hang with another friend who're at the con, leaving the rest of us
>And him. Waiting.

>>49426543

You thought it would end when the game ended? So did I.

>The game's over, he has to leave, there's no reason for him to stay
>But he didn't leave, anon.
>He didn't leave.
>We start carrying on like we're going to head out, do other stuff. The three of us wander a bit.
>He tags along. He waves when we see him, and tries to get closer despite obvious evasion.
>Constantly starng at GF. Just...staring.
>At one point I swear he was going to follow my GF into the women's restroom
>Eventually he actually comes up to us again. 'Hey guys! I almost lost you! Where are you going? Wanna go see the AMV contest?'
>Best bro, god bless, decides to man up and make the ultimate sacrifice
>Mostly because he saw how creeped out my GF was during all this shit
>'I'm going there now, come with me?' he asked
>I shot him an 'are you sure?' glance.
>He was ready. If the autismals took him he'd go out fighting.
>Me and GF go around doing ordinary con shit. All the while I'm wondering if best bro is okay
>Raverbro eventually finds me, best bro in tow. Said he saw best bro in his seat looking visibly uneasy
>Used the old 'hey I left something in your car, can you come unlock it?' excuse to evac him
>We're all slowly congreagating, IG and a buddy of his come back. Party at full strength.
>Head up to the hotel room to commence late day plans
>Plan is we go to the con rave and then switch a real rave downtown after 10:00
>All of us in raver gear, glowsticks and neon and shit, save IG because 40k is popular and costumes play well at raves
>That means IG still has some distinct armor on. Guess Iron boy spotted him
>ohno.jpg

>>49426554

>'HEEEY guys what's up I see you're all here in once place what are we doing where are we going?'
>IG's buddy has no idea who this is, so assumes it's one of the group
>'Oh we're getting ready for when the line to the con rave starts' while the rest of us look at him with death in our eyes
>'Oh awesome! I need to ask my grandma if I can stay late enough to go to the rave so hang on!'
>Front doors to the convention center are to our left. Out front in the pickup area, is a red minivan
>Its driver is an old woman.
>Balding, with strands of greasy combover everywhere
>Coke bottle glasses
>Just staring. Not blinking. Staring at Iron boy. Mouth agape like a goldfish as Iron boy moves out the sliding doors
>Don't know why, but just the look in her eyes scared the hell out of me.
>Baba yaga, the bald hag.
>Only saw her for a second, but being raised by that? Yeah, I'd end up like Iron boy, too.

Fortunately, her gaze towards Iron boy was matched with equally intense autism, which was our salvation.

>>49426569

>I realized he's not looking at us and give the only order I can.
>'Split up. everyone make their way to floor 7 where the room is.'
>We scatter like roaches seeing a strobe light
>Eventually meet back up, see he's not following
>All the normie hotel guests looking at the group of ravers and a single imperial guardsman by the ice machine bewildered
>Occasionally one of us would go out to the window and look out front
>Red minivan still there. Waiting.
>We wait. And wait.
>An ENTIRE HOUR passes. The fact the minivan wasn't ticketed for parking in the unload zone that long is fucking baffling.
>Finally, FINALLY, we see it creep off, ten minuted before the rave was set to start.
>All had a great time raving. No telepathy was used, but I did have something nagging my mind
>If I had to guess, I'd say he was downstairs that whole hour, hunting for us.
>Hunting on behalf of Baba Yaga

And that's how we all narrowly escaped being potion ingredients for some wizened hag and her son, cursed to do her bidding through an autism spell.

>>49426254
>Sparkledogs
Oh jeez anon. Go on.

>>49425924
Why would you know that? WHY?

>>49426722
Which one peaks your interest?

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>>49426582

Screengrabbed that for future storytime

>>49426582
>>49426569
>>49426554
>>49426543
>>49426468
>>49426379
>>49426364
>>49426350
>>49426331
>>49426309
>>49426294
>>49426283
>>49426270
Sorry to make some big linkpost, but that was a great read, thanks for sharing. Wish my community would host conventions/raves like that. Minus the autismo, of course.

>>49427298

It was nice at the time. Unfortunately this was like 5 years ago and the con in question stopped happening. Now it's hyooge comic-con stuff, anime cons or nothing.

Rave scene is still pretty dope out here, though. Haven't been in too long.

>>49404033
That was a weird thread, though evidently I left before it became interesting

>>49407692
Are you going for the dark souls analogy or something?

>>49426784
Doing God's work.

>>49424395

Welcome to 4chan.

>>49428194

But WHICH god, anon?

>>49424437

I understand why you hate them, but you gotta be careful with that edge.

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>>49428806
All of them.

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>>49417591
>/tg/ doesn't want to fuck a dragon
god damn what happened while I was gone?

>>49426755
The Cleansing.

>>49408640
Because my regular group consist of ERP and it's fucking great.

>>49425924
retarded furfags use yiffing for everything.
Thus yiffing is know for outsiders of the furfag existence as a sign of retards.

Are you gonna defend them?

Ballpark estimate, what percentage of these stories do you think are creative works of fiction?

>>49432163
0%

>>49432163
70-80%.

>>49432163
40% real 40% fake but believable 20% obvious fakes.

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>>49432163
Honestly, about 70%

>>49408640
i think some situations are funny and to be encouraged, but if i find that people become uncomfortable with it and agree they want those situations to stop I tend to just use OP DM magic
usually in the form of a brick with the word "stop" carved in it randomly falling from the sky every time something happens, dealing between 1 and 100 damage

>>49432163
about 30% are fake, that guys are more common than you might think

>>49424241
You don't get to talk shit posting that loli.

>>49432163

I think a significant majority are based on real events but embellished for the telling

>>49423418
I would have immediately killed him.

>>49432562
Does her visage make you feel... afraid, anon?

>>49432577
Yeah, can confirm, I tried telling some stories straight-up as they went and they were a mess. Afterwards I cut them down, split them up into independent bits and told them whenever they resonated with a topic brought up.

They got much more easy to read after a slight amount of cooking.

Most recent example? right there >>49431650, there was a lot more shit going on with monsters than just "vampires" and a lot more with players than implied them being vampire hunters, but it's not relevant to the bit of the story I wanted to tell so chop-chop.

>>49424523
The kids were good friends with another party who they also attempted to steal from, got caught and through a series of events involving the city guard eventually bonded with. This other party loved those little scampers and tried to show them the path of lawfulness, but being out adventuring they couldn't be there to protect them from your players.

Now your players are the bad guys and don't they fucking know it.

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>>49426554
>You thought it would end when the game ended?

>>49432903
>Does her visage make you feel... afraid, anon?

Her visage makes me wish nanashi would do more nagatoro already. I guess demon loli is fine too.

>>49432948
There's also vampire loli now, have you seen it?

>>49432957
Nope. Is it on the panda?

>>49432969
Yep. Just search by author.

>>49432981
Thanks for the heads-up.

>>49423726
>it's actually a devil worshipper
>the character gets stabbed and killed
>his new character is a pissed of god trapped in a shitty human form

>>49432163
10% false, 20% true, 15% embeleshment.
5% alpha, 50% autism, but 100% worth the read

>>49426505
>never happened
>he never nutted on a girl while she slept
Where the post is wrong is that most girls will wake up unless they have some kind of sedative in their system.

>>49432669
Congrats, you're That Guy.

>>49433420
That would be the idiot playing his bestilaity sex fetish, actually.

>>49433489
I'm afraid you're wrong. When everyone else is OK except for one sperg picking a fight, then that guy is, well, That Guy.

>>49433550
Half these that guy stories only happen because the group is too spineless to react.

>>49430166
Noted. Will deliver in an hour or so when I'm coherent and caffeinated.

what if "that guy" brings drinks and pizza and genuinely loves the game?

he's annoying as fuck with constantly trying to be the main character and his power fantasy bullshit. any time he's confronted about these things he gets super defensive and angry. i want to tell him to shut the fuck up but i know that would make him leave and it would crush him.

also, no more free drinks and pizza

>>49433864
Are you there to play a good game or to shoot some shit with beer and pizza?

Alternatively, switch game to comedic mode in which he is the chosen one main character and everybody else willingly plays around that to have their own fun.

>>49433908
50% hang out 50% roleplay and game seriously

i'm sure as hell not making a new campaign to cater to his dumb bullshit

>>49432163
I am sure a good amount of them are embellishments with some of the more extreme things being things the narrator wishes he did.

>>49433915
So you know what the issues are, and how to solve them (talk to the guy,boot him, or make a new game), yet are willing to take none of the solutions? No wonder you have problems with your player.

>>49433962
well gee wiz i get the option of a punch or a kick to the face.

i think what he needs is some humility. i need to kill his precious characters without him thinking i'm out to get him. that should stop his MC complex.

i mean he'll just fucking add shit into the game and he'll bother me about it incessantly until i agree.

>hey can i play as my own made up race? they were the first people born on your continent and they're all keepers of an ancient evil that can destroy the world.
>i was the strongest person in the heroes guild growing up, narratively making me stronger than all of the other player characters
>hey do you mind if i take 2 minutes to describe my actions every time i make an action even if i end up repeating myself?
>hey i'll just add in this scene i just made up about my character dreaming about my back up character. i'll now proceed to talk to myself for TWENTY MINUTES

what's a good way of killing a druid?

>>49432927
Oh boy this is great, thanks for the help

>>49404197
I'll take that chubby and I'll suck it up, as hard as it might get

>>49425924
*clops at u*

>>49430166
>>49426722
>>49426254
Alright, let me tell you all about The "Cleansing."

Context: this is a forum roleplay. Each board is a "pack," or a faction. They have their own culture, their own history, their own rules, their own ranks. The pack I'm talking about was a zealot wolf pack that believed that their three rulers were actually their gods.

The catch, of course, is that their gods represented what the wolves valued in their species. So, unpredictable sneakiness, speechcraft, and violence. Basically, murder zealots.

In their religion/culture, they believed in a fourth god, which could possess the minds of others. They had Priests as a rank you could play, and needless to say, their way of "purifying" someone possessed was mauling them, maiming them, or killing them.

With that out of the way...

>someone has a very respected high-ranked character
>that character is really just a powerhungry jackass
>a priest starts believing he's possessed by the evil fourth god
>tells the other priests and riles them up
>they decide that they must "cleanse" him immediately before the demon escapes

>they stumble upon character sleeping peacefully
>tell him not to fear, that they're here to help him
>he tells them they're fucking crazy
>fighting ensues
>he gets a stick shoved into one of his eyes
>he then rips off part of the leader priest's face
>someone gets their tendons ripped out
>he runs off with the stick still lodged in his eye

>not too long after, he's in line to be the next god
>he uses his power to punish the one that spread the rumor
>tracks him down with another god
>pin this character when he's alone
>rips out his tongue
>he's never able to speak "heresy" again

Good shit.

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>>49415108
>it was just roleplay it's what my character would have done!

The Paladin also seems like a that guy

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>>49434537
i think the paladin guy was just catering to that guy logic, it's completely reasonable in that situation either way. would you trust some shitty magic dork with a potential one ring to rule them all if you were a 7'2 mountain of sword?

>>49434537
>it was just roleplay it's what my character would have done!

See, that's fine when everyone else in the group agrees that's the sensible course of action.

When no-one but you think's it's a good idea, and you play it off as "it's just what my character would do" then you've got no recourse when your character gets their shit pushed in.

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>>49425708
>tolerable furfags

Anon pls

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>>49432981
>>49432957
Holy shit, dat vampire.

>>49434142
Get him cursed with loot that attracts arrows.

Then just have people with bows attack him.

>>49417591
He's asking for a special cursed race that has specifically a very cool curse: looking like, and having some of the powers of a dragon.
Shoot it down.

>>49433147
basically Rumble.

>>49432163
70% tops, but most of the times it's just fun to read a good story.

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I think I was "that guy" the one time I played D&D.
>I was a warrior/Barbarian type chap and we were escorting a wagon full of wine and meat.
>Me and the cleric (my bro) ate some of the meat and drank the wine until we were ambushed by goblins or something.
>I'm not the only warrior, the all fight while I continue to drink.
>Everyone asking me to get off my ass and help, it's only 4 goblins wtf is their problem
>Only one goblin left, DM says he tries to flee
>Stand up, take aim and throw javelin with all my might
>It hits, critical damage
>Goblin explodes in a red mist, DM pissed off with me and says my javelin also destroys all the loot except a note leading to a cave

Am I really that bad?
When we get to town I intimidate the guy who the wagon of goods are for into paying us full price despite me eating/drinking a quarter of it. Group decides I don't get a share of the money, I don't care I take what I want. They try to get me murdered in a tavern, except cleric bro who heals and protects me while I get into a fist fight (they made me leave all my weapons at the door).

>>49438969
Sounds like they got pissed you weren't participating and were actively hindering party goals (eating part of the shipment you were supposed to be delivering) and took it out on you. Which is bad, but when you tried to turn things around they already had it out for you and went out of their way to exclude you. That the DM exacerbated things didn't help matters. I'd say in their eyes you were probably that guy but fuck 'em, they never really gave you a chance after they decided that.

Our group has a sometimes That Guy/That DM
>Most recent session, he rolled a 2 on a minor skill check
>Entire group sees that it is a 2, one even holds up 2 fingers
>Reports it as a 16
>His character's background is literally a carbon copy of Geralt but weeb
>Tried to convince our DM that he should have his families armor that would give him 20 AC level one and had a chance to turn him into a literal dragon
>His campaign he has been planning is a carbon copy of For Honor trailers
>His oneshots are basically cinematics for his DMPCs
>Tells us that there is going to be an "Anti-magic field that cannot be detected/found/destroyed but the enemies can still cast magic
>Lvl 20 oneshot, friend rolls a 42 for stealth, doesn't work
>Level 15 oneshot, I roll a 35 for persuasion and give a decent speech as to why they should not kill our friend
>Lol nope
>Same oneshot, friend goes to attack the person thats trying to kill him
>Slides under him and rolls to hit his balls
>rolls an unnat 20, nope
>22, nope
>25 nope
>Nat 20, tries to say no but gives in
>Check the character later and saw he increased the AC after each roll
He's a decent guy and has some brilliant moments, but sometimes he's ridiculous

>>49434364
Sex Rock, please

>>49440786
Alright. This was a good one. Will deliver in about half an hour.

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>>49415304
As someone who played a super saiyan wolf monk, it is my opinion that this guy's characters were ridiculous.

>>49417584
I need to hear this story.

>>49441508
I know the second one.
>OP posts picture of dead woman, with the text reading "it's a lot harder to strangle someone than the movies make it seem" or something like that
>no shit, is the general response
>Guy posts some more pictures of dead woman
>/b/ calls the cops
>dude is jailed

>>49404030
ITT: things that never happened reposted by Spacetumblr

>>49404030
I once knew a guy who couldn't take piss, a real princess bitchtits really.

Like I don't know what his problem was but if you said anything bad about him or anything he did (And sometimes nothing even related to him but he thinks you are making double fun of him in secret) he got prissy as fuck. He decides to do something stupid or go against the group because "He hates the team" and gets told not to and he gets mad, he makes a worthless character and is told that we are not responsible for him making a shitty character he gets mad, He takes the bait of that one banter loving cunt who is always bating him and you tell him not to give a shit cause surprise surprise he is being a dick and boy you better get the fuck out of the salt flat he's gonna create. Someone doesn't quite get a rule of the system then you get hours of him going "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE BULLY COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER IDIOT!"

And then we kicked him and never saw him again, kinda sad cause it was a bit funny to see what little you could say to make him fly of in rage.

>>49441508
Gary Brooks Faulkner.

I'm sure someone has a thread cap.

>>49441554
>see that thread
>find out later she was a coworker
Awkward.

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Hey, it's the anon from >>49417591 back with an update:
After several days of persuading, dragon guy is convinced to play a normal human (when I told him no dragons he switched to dragon-like alien, then "wyvernoid" alien after I told him he had to be a biped). Tfw shy faggot who can't tell people no.

Anyways, I'm back with more drama.
>all this SWN stuff was happening through pm, but rest of group knows he really likes dragons
>occasionally joke that he's a furry/scaly
>he laughs it off usually, doesn't seem particularly bothered
>tonight he dropped pic related in our group skype chat with no warning
>whatthehell.jpeg

I don't even know what to say.

>>49429957

At what age/level are dragons able to assume human form?

>>49432948
>do more nagatoro
Ha, I did not know abuse-tan actually has a name.

>>49429957
>>/tg/ doesn't want to fuck a dragon
We want to make gentle love to one. Big difference.

>>49441574

fuck off

>>49442139
so he's not furry, he's just an autist?

>>49442139

Holy shit, this guy is unstable

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>>49442139
Look Anon, you've got about one of two options.

You can either accommodate him which we both know WILL lead to further shenanigans of this...caliber...and will likely go beyond what the rest of the group signed up for...

Or, you can you draw a line and tell him what you are and are not willing to work with. If you feel you can work with 'Wyvernoids' then all the power to you, but if you feel this to be beyond your powerlevel, then the option becomes clear.

Regardless of what happens, we can both rest assured that this player of yours at least doesn't sexualize scalies. He DEIFIES them.

>>49404044
fuck i remember that thread, the lulz were legendary

>>49438969
you roleplayed too hard

I graduate in five months, then I'll be off to uni and never see him again, as far as I'm concerned, making him into a good RPer is the responsibility of his next group.

>>49442548
Fugg, I meant to quote >>49442380

>>49442139

Jesus christ. I'm so glad I wasn't homeschooled

>>49442548
>never see him again
Well, with the way things are leaning you might see him in news someday.

>>49442139
>I don't want to fuck dragons, I merely ADMIRE them~

Hot damn, this guy. You have to ask yourself (and the rest of your group) if you really want to play campaign after campaign with this kind of person. Keep occasionally joking about him being a scalefag until he decides to RP as anything other than dragons. Or even better, straight up tell him that he's not allowed to play as a dragon/wyvern every damn session.

If he refuses, tell him Charizard isn't a dragon and kick his ass out. Are you willing to have your last few months of D&D with your friends to be plagued with this guy?

>>49442548
Do you realize what is the most proper thing to do now, or perhaps the ONLY proper thing to do? Buying one fine specimen of Bad Dragon production, gift wrapping it and when your group parts ways after graduation giving it to the guy with note to only open it after he gets back home.

>>49442726
That would not go over well in the slightest; his family is hardcore Catholic.

>>49442767
That makes it even better.

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>>49442767
I fail to see the problem.

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>>49442726
>>49442827
Be nice. He doesn't fetishize them. He just thinks they're superior to humans in every way.

Get him a wearable cock sheath, so he can be a dragon in his pants.

>>49442184
Depends on the type of dragon and/or setting. Bronze dragons can from 16 years on, Silver and Gold can from birth, and all dragons can in the Dragonlance setting.

>>49438969
I did something similar in a shadowrun game. I was playing the party face, and was talking with a drug dealer. The drug dealer didn't like how the conversation was going, and ordered his lackies to kill us, just as I was done convincing his goons that his boss wasn't in charge any more, and I kind of got pissed that it ended in conflict. So here we are, four of us, the drug dealer, and three of his goons all in a fucking closet of an office room and they start drawing and shooting each other. There's barely any room to move or dodge, so my character (being a dwarf) just slides further down in his seat and basically just keeps below waist level of the fire fight.

I tried to end the fight, before it got into full swing but it basically wasn't happening. Diplomacy had ended. The gun fight went on for a surprisingly long time, and near the end of it, one of the other players was kind of getting a little miffed that I wasn't helping in the gun fight.

So gunfight finishes with us on top, with my teammates a little more...ventilated. We take the drug dealer hostage. All of his goons are outside, we can hear them in the hallway. So to make up for my lack of participation in the gun fight, I talk them all down and convince them he's no longer in charge.

Went surprisingly well.

>>49442139
>His DP is charizard.

Can't make this shit up.

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>>49444094
I've been in similar situations.

I've got some buddies that love to pick fights, but my characters aren't always combat-oriented or have reason to participate. One time during a 3.5 campaign in a homebrew steampunk setting I spent and entire barroom brawl at the top of the stairs sipping tea, only interacting when a hostile would try to come upstairs, at which point I would trip them back down. Or the time several buddies in an epic level campaign picked a fight with Tiamat and got pissed that I spent most of the encounter rescuing hostages, and insisted that the DM make her consorts attack me. They apparently never realized that the rings we had picked up several sessions earlier were Rings of Dragon Friendship, so we were all fine until they attacked.

>>49442139
>In fact, dragons are superior over humans in every way.
Last time I saw this opinion was in a video game, and that didn't end well.

>>49442616
>tell him Charizard isn't a dragon and kick his ass out.
MY FUCKIN SIDES

you should do this anyway, guy. If he's dropping this much bullshit with a little provocation, then there's definitely a fucking dam waiting to burst with the autism he's holding back. Drop that shit like a bad fuckin habit.

>>49407335
/thread

>>49442139
If you haven't seen that he had REAL AUTISM when he couldn't stop playing same character I guess you have very thick skull. Anyway lads what's your opinion on people who ALWAYS try to make same character no matter the setting and use stranded through space to make them if they don't fit setting?

>>49446440
I've occasionally attempted to use the same/similar characters in different settings. If it's a really different game or edition I like to see if the concept can still work, and if it's a similar one I like to try modified builds.

Some people prefer one or two character types. Personally, I like monsterous characters and dex whores, but never at the same time.

At the same time, if you're playing a different campaign with mostly the same group, switch it up. You don't ALWAYS need to be the same character: I've gladly play an adamant Dwarvish Paladin, a human monk who studies swordsmanship, an enlightened psionic dog, and a kobold sorcerer with a napoleon complex, each to great effect and with good party chemistry.

>>49442139
>Dragons are superior than humans in every way
He lists all of these little things except for the one big thing that humans have over dragons.
>Humans exist.

I was that guy years ago. My friends and I used to play mage knight in middle school and no one could beat me, partly because I knew the rules better than anyone else, partly because I made sure the rules were strictly enforced, and partly because there were no objectives I could run super death stars that my friends' more casual lists had no hope of beating. Eventually most of them quit.

>>49404030
I'm so stoked, my dudes

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>>49404175
>>49404192
>>49404205
>>49404220
>>49404231

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>Doing some Naheulbeuk with friends
>Friend A rolls an ogre
>Friend B is a barbarian
>Friend C's gf is doing a rogue elf
>Friend C is extatic : he's doing a motherfucking necromancer
>Whatever, bruh, I'm doing a ninja dwarf.
>First dungeon is doing pretty great, except for C spamming his spells more than he has mana, hiding his rolls, always managing to do what he wants.
>We get our asses kicked by the boss, but we end up beating him.
>We all drinks heal potions, except for C, stating he prefers to keep his and wait for a healer next village.
> k

>We travel through a forest to reach the village
>Two panthers attack us
>One is kebab'ed by our ogre, the other attacks C and rolls a crit
>he loses an eye and plenty of stats
>He falls in a coma
>We carry him to the village and get him healed
>Can't do anything for the eye
>C is angry

>later that day, in another forest, we get ambushed by looters
>Barbarian, ogre and me are each fighting two guys
>C is duelling one
>He takes one heavy hit
>Immediatly throw a fucking tantrum, saying his class is shit, that we don't even protect him, like against the panthers, screams that he had enought and run off to his room upstairs (he was staying in my house for a few days)

>The good mood is gone, DM is sad, we players are angry at C
>We keep playing for the sake of finishing the story
> ff a few hours
>Epic fight
>We win and get our hands on McGuffin
>motherfucking C comes back, mumbles some excuses to the DM only, says that anyone that has a problem with him can go fuck himself and then proceeds to claim his share of the loot
>We stop here

>a few days alter we start another adventure without him
>best ninja days ever

>>49447241
>>49447368
I feel something has gone wrong.

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>mfw almost my entire group is That Guys
>including me
End it all

>>49444273
>One time during a 3.5 campaign in a homebrew steampunk setting

You just know it's gonna be shit

>>49424745
You are that guy

>>49447185
I see what you did there.

>>49432163
Coming from someone with hands on experience with both good and bad potatoes, That Guys galore, and hardcore autists, I don't find many of these stories all that unbelievable.

Had a guy rip a $35 MTG card in half because "it's ripped in half, just like our friendship."

This is after he stole that card from the LGS that trusted us with their stock.

>>49426305

*notices bulge*

owo whats this?

That GM story
>Invited to a friend of a friend's game by association to him
>"What's the campaign about?"
>Not going to tell you, spoilers
>"What should I roll?"
>Whatever you want, anything will be ok, but I only allow these books and from these books only this list, maybe, just maybe in a not so distant future I might allow more depending on what you want
>Pretty fucking restrictive but I'm game starved so I go with it
>Try to choose something that goes well with the group
>Blaster caster (warlock), Martial (fighter), utility halfcaster(bard)
>Go ranged scout because rolls didn't help much
>Turns out the game is set in Eberron meets Revenloft full of constructs and undeads
>"Well fuck me"
>Also we have some premonitory visions and a magical tattoo that mark us as the chosen ones for something we don't really know
>Deal 0 damage in literally all encounters
>Whatever I roll for stealth GM rolls higher for spot/listen
>Whatever I roll for disable device traps have higher DC
>Die in the first session
>Get ressurected with -2 to Con
>Stumble as we continue
>Still dealing 0 damage and not accomplishing anything
>Spend poition over potion till I'm out of money due traps
>Sit while combats
>"GM can I reroll char?"
>No, you're all the chosen one, your PC are of the most importance
>Now I know why I got ressurrected as a 1st level
>Die a couple of sessions later becasue clearly what we have access to (feats, classes, magic items, money, etc) are not balanced to the level of encounters
>ressurrected again, already have -2 to Con and one level behind everybody else, and I already rolled worse than anyone
>"GM, srly, I'm fucking useless and I'm not having fun at all"

(cont.)

>>49453179
>Be patient, things are going to change for better
>Now encounters have elementals too
>"GM, look, can I pick this feat (swift hunter) and multiclass into ranger?"
>Fuck no, that's broken, also why, instead of being a muchkin powergamer who picks the best stuff don't you try to follow a logic evolution with the character?
>Also, condescending as fuck, tell me that he's not there to provide me fun
>Fuck, that's fucking it, leave
>Friend tells me how the GM ranted about me being a spoilered fuck, humiliated my character and then killed it
>He also tells me the game died like 2 sessions later because they couldn't deal with the shit he was throwing at them, but before they left GM just quit using personal matters as excuse

I was boiling mad when I left, srly, how can people like that exist, what the fuck do they gain with any of this? what the fuck moves them to be so petty?

>>49453238
>what the fuck do they gain with any of this? what the fuck moves them to be so petty?
A feeling of power over someone maybe?

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>>49442139
>>49417591
Who let Sarkhan out?

>>49434364
Oh boy, yet another blatantly false online freeform story. I sure NEVER get tired of those...

>>49441650
Anon, it's illegal to abuse animals.

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I'm actually currently having a problem with That Guy, /tg/. He's a mutual friend of everyone playing that joined last session. We attempted to play the game without him (we ran a quick one shot with him and he didn't seem to enjoy it, going in his phone, livestreaming the session despite the protests of others, picking fights with friendly npcs for no reason other than his boredom) but the DM felt bad and invited him anyway. Now he refuses to read the handbook and is up to his old tricks but wants to feel included and sees it as an opportunity for us all to hang out and drink together and wants in invitation back despite getting prissy after we told him his actions were retarded and being incredulous when me and the DM started to trade notes when I was speaking halfling with an npc.

Is there any hope for him to shape up or should I try to talk him out of the group? Maybe just have him come over and not play?

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>>49454596

You need to talk to him. You need to talk to the group. You got to seriously put your foot own when he starts streaming videos of you online without your consent. Inform him that if he wants to take part he needs to learn the rules of the game, and needs to learn that he doesn't have to hang out with his fiends all of the time, and especially shouldn't if he's just going to ruin everyone else's fun.

>Maybe just have him come over and not play?

For what? Four hours? Six? Given his past behaviour, do you think he'll be happy to sit on the sidelines and not disrupt the game? He needs to learn that his friends like a thing that he doesn't, and maybe he should sit this one out?

Out of curiousity, how many geek social fallacies do you think he's commiting? http://www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html

>>49454808
Yeah, that's what I was hoping to avoid with some magical /tg/-related fix but that doesn't seem possible. I'll probably handle it after the next session in a few days.

Our sessions usually last from 3-4 hours, and we obviously wouldn't be just ignoring him in that situation.

I'd say he has a case of fallacy 3 and 5.

>>49442139
Goddamn. Reading this reminds me of a guy I went to school with back in middle school. The kid was crazy about dragons. It was all he would talk about and he was constantly obsessing over and drawing pictures of them.

People eventually just ignored him, but he did cause a bit of trouble one day when he declared himself a dragon, caused a huge scene, then climbed the football goalpost. He claimed he could fly, and only ended up with a broken arm once he jumped off.

He moved at the end of middle school and we never saw or heard from him again.

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>>49456168
Maybe he became a cartoonist.

>>49449893
Yeah... I joined a campaign in progress featuring a dwarvish sniper, a warforged artificer with a harpoon cannon arm, and a longtooth shifter King Leonidas ripoff (literally running around in nothing but boots, shorts, and a red cape, with a short sword, spear, and shield. I think his name may even have been Leo). I essentially became the face man, problem solver, and main damage dealer, while they constantly tried to one-up eachother.

It was a surprisingly fun campaign for the few sessions it lasted, but between peoples' schedules and a group of PCs that spilled over the double digits, it lost steam fast.

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>>49457368
>it lost steam fast