Dwarf General Thread - /dgt/

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>>49277982
Maybe.

Better question - what should I do with all my Mantic rifledorfs and my Avatars of War berserkers dorfs now that Warhammer has been geeked ? Bought them just before they annonced Age of Sigmar, and haven't built or painted any of them since.

Also, mfw I live in bumfuck nowhere, and no one plays anything over here.

>>49277982
>that feel when a shitty elf is in your party

REEEEE

>>49277982
My "Dwarves" are genderless. They reproduce via self-induced parthenogenesis and are all genetically identical, male-looking, stereotypical dwarves.

Oh, and they're genetically hard-coded to be communists.

Reminder that this thread will never be as good as the elf thread.

>>49278408
My dwarves literally pop out of the rock in the deep places in the earth. This is because they are, in fact, aspects of the planet, trying to find out about itself by living vicariously through the dwarves.

Except that one mountain in the middle of nowhere. That's the planet's insane subconscious. Don't deal with the dwarves there. They caused three apocalypses.

I like to think dwarf women fashion their hair in a manner that covers their face and mimics a beard thus perpetuating the myth.

>>49278458
no, you now tell me of the insane subconscious.

And then you tell me about the consciousness of the planet.

And all the eldritch horror that stems from it.

Do it now.

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You should not be allowed to hold conversations, brutes.

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My dwarf women have sideburns.

>>49278488
Okay so like, basically the world is flat and 'mostly infinite' and shit like that right? The planet's alive but doesn't know a thing about itself, being mostly infinite in size, so in mountain ranges, deep valleys and other massive ups and down in elevations, dwarves pop out of the earth in order to, more or less, tell the planet what it is. They're actually one of the most populous species, due to the whole 'popping out of the earth randomly' thing.

There is, however, one mountain in the 'middle' of the explored world, surrounding on all sides by flat plains. A lonely mountain wherein all things are evil. It didn't use to be this way. Once it was the heart of a mighty dwarven empire. But, as dwarves oft do, they dug too deep. Past the planet's consciousness into the place where all manner of dream and nightmare dwell. The things down there came up, destroying the dwarven empire and fucked up the world(Apocalypse #1). It fucked it up SO bad that the local 'gods' took those flat plains surrounding it and pounded the shit out of them turning into a vast ocean to try and stem the tide of the mad beings (Apocalypse #2). It didn't work forever; the cthonic beings of the planet's deep dreams just got more fishy and crossed it that way (Apocalypse #3 Currently Ongoing).

So yeah, the Dwarves of the Central Mountain caused three apocalypses. They aren't trusted anywhere.

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>>49278592

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>>49278495
And ya shouldn't be allowed to hold an axe, beardless milksop.

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>>49278608

>>49278592
>No beards
Fucking dropped

Dwarves created the gods, right?

>>49279254
Why else would most of creation be working so well? Dwarven craftmanship, lad. It's only when elves and humans mucked about that we got the evil gods and things stopped going well.

>>49278608
I approve. ;)

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Do dwarf women like being called cute?

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>>49277982
Should I?

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>>49279761
Call them 'finely crafted with an excellent eye for detail.' It never fails to charm.

>>49279761
Everyone likes being called cute. A dwarf girl will just act like she doesn't like it.

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An average human male can exert around 90 kg (200 pounds) or 1000 Newtons of force in a static push.A boxer can deliver 5,000 newtons of force with a single punch but their hand travels really fast.

Now, the classic fantasy dwarf is usually described as stronger and heavier than the average human, but how much stronger would a Warhammer slayer dwarf be? Or, say, the less physically impressive but still formidable tolkien dwarf?

>>49279790
Sure, if only for the fluff at the end of the book. The stories are passable, but nothing spectacular.

>>49277982
Here's a bit of a funny story about a dwarf fighter I played (dnd 5e)

>fighting a group of kobolds
>One party member suggests that we keep one alive for interrogation, so we knock him unconcious
>My dwarf, having one of the strongest people in the party, was tasked with carrying the kobold.
>Attacked by another group of Kobolds (I could bitch all day about this particular GM, but that's another story for a "That Guy" thread.
>At some point, my dwarf loses his warhammer, and its once again my turn to attack.
>"I hit the kobold with the kobold I'm carrying."
>Table erupts into laughter
>DM Rolls with it (no pun intended, but I'll take it)
>Spend the next hour using the kobold as a greatclub.
>Kobold has to make a constitution saving throw to not be destroyed after every hit
>Kobold makes the throw every time.
>Proudly write down "Scaly Bob the Kobold" in my weapons table.
>Later
>Kobold finally loses saving throw
>Body falls apart in my hands
>After a breif mourning period, I punch out another kobold, and write "Scaly Bill the Kobold" in my weapons table.

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Would you marry a dwarf girl?

>>49282439
I'd do way more than just marry her.

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>>49282439
>short, but shapely and cute
>business-minded, can take care of herself without my intervention, works with her hands
>honourable and would never betray me

Only real problem is that I could never afford the bridal gift. You know how those dwarf fathers are.

>>49282439
Yes.
I would also hammer her ass harder then I hammer steel on an anvil.

You could make them both beardy and beardless dwarfettes.


Question: Are dwarves mostly living on/in the hills okay?
Question 2: Are dwarves being depicted as kind of sneaky (small size, can carry a lot of loot) race okay?
Question 3: Are dwarves going for trench warfare even in medieval fantasy setting okay?

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>>49282814
To the first question, yes. I personally set them up as a different culture than the mountain dwarves, making them a bit more like semi-nomadic Irishmen.

To the second, that's usually a halfling things. Dwarves could make it work, especially since they like gold, but most of the time they're a bit too...clunky.

Trench warfare might be hard on them because of their size.

>>49283003
>clunky
You mean clusmy or something?
Usually they're seen as being with machines and stuff, so lockpicking could work, especially if they have good hearing.

>Trench warfare might be hard on them because of their size.
Well, maybe I said it a bit wrong, but I meant more the tunnelling thing, practically digging out bases under enemy and ambushing armies by causing cave-ins or that spider-like stuff, so springing from hidey-hole, catching an neemy soldier, and dragging him underground to snap his neck.

>>49283053
Like they'd either have so much metal on them they'd literally clunk, or they'd just be noisy - putting down their feet too hard, letting things jangle, stuff like that. They're not naturals at being quiet like halflings.

It might be hard to make a tunnel you could jump out of and drag someone else back into really easily, but dwarves would likely be natural at sapping. You could use underground tunnel bases like the Vietcong did too.

>>49278162
Go ahead and build them. Worst case, you're got some neat mini's. Best case, proxy them into another game.

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Egyptian Dwarves: Does this disgust you?

>>49283204
Do they build pyramids underground?

>>49283204
Kinda. Dwarves traditionally have ancestor worship, which kind of works with Egyptians, but Egyptians also had a huge focus on life after death which dwarves don't really have.

Not to mention, if you go just a bit east and north, you find a culture with big beards that's perfect for dwarves.

>>49283275
Yeah, I currently am working on a setting with Egyptian Dwarves, but one of my players went full "Nah das gay", but I actually like the idea of that kind of culture. Ended up making them more Mesopotamian.

>>49280125
>tfw no one calls you cute

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>>49277982
For some reason the notion of a female with a beard isn't a real turnoff. Seems almost cute.

I mean, women dressed as Santa with the beard and all aren't repulsive, right? If they were already attractive, anyway.

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>>49278592
>>49278608
>>49278626
Right, but how about this? Full beards are already cute in their own way. If you don't quite go all the way with extra hair, it gives less the impression of a dwarven female of more of poor hygiene.

>>49279761
Is that a dwarven drunken master?

>>49280300
I always make my dorfs STRONK, as in their average is somewhere around 300kg.Don't know about Tolkien or Warhammer.
>>49282814
Yes hill dwarves should always be a slightly weaker, but more friendly dwarf race

No that is wrong

100% perfect

>>49283320
It's cool to mix and match a little. You don't have to be straight one culture or the other, and fantasy is fun for being able to mix and match.

>>49283547
How would it give the impression of poor hygiene? That's like assuming that having short hair on your head means that you couldn't take care of long hair.

You could argue full beards are cute in their own way, but I think having female dwarves have a full beard is something that is to intentionally keep them from any sort of feminine cuteness, just for the sake of being different, when having sideburns is already a marked difference.

>>49278597
That's a really really cool sounding setting

>>49277982

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TmZFm6NHfA

postan dorf music
happy diggin'

>>49278592
I'll figure out her proportions if ye know what I mean

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>>49284597
Fantastic. I loved playing as the dwarves in that game. Great dwarven feel.

>browsing through hat store one day
>gf picks up one of those novelty beard beanies and tries it on
>runtime error
>reboot
>learn something about myself
Turns out beards can be mega cute

>>49286152
I was gonna nab the pic I took (since her face is pretty much covered anyway I figure it's fine), but it's on my old phone and there's no sim card in it anymore!

>>49278625

I should expect such a reply from a savage,

>>49282439
The in-laws would be a pain, but I'd still do it in a heartbeat.

>>49283003
>Irish Traveller Dwarves

Yikes.

Anons, I'd like to have a city of dwarves living in the mountains in my setting be extremely Canadian, but my newfoundlander analog is already taken.

What would Canadorfs be like?

>>49282814
Related to the first question: I would imagine hill dwarves as having more contact with the surface races, with shallow hill dwellings and aboveground structures being not too terribly different, but looked on as strange folk who might not all be quite right in the head by mountain-dwelling dwarves.

Despite being more willing to interact with and move to surface settlements, politically they're not as well regarded as mountain dwarves, as they don't have access to valuable metals or gems to the same degree as their deeper dwelling kin.

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>>49287333

Hockey, beer, friendly, terrible driven carriages

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>>49287333

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>>49287333
Unobtrusive, have a lot of myths and tales about them, and can be surprisingly badass from time to time

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>>49287333
Only not as one dimensional.

I miss Johnny.

>>49277982
What makes dwarves different from other races?

>>49288449
Beards

>>49287333
take inspiration from quebecistan

I believe dorfs would be the ones to invent fantasy poutine.

>>49288449
Fabulousness

Are there examples/pictures of dwarves that live in hives like ants or something? Would look cool.

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>>49287333

>>49288449
Money

>>49287633
>tfw you weren't born with swim trunks