>you discover a sword that allows you to win any fight that

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>>49095962
Fight everything.

Everything.

starts fights.

>>49095962
I fight reality for the right and power of omnipotence.

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I take the fight to the streets.

>>49095962
Throw that shit away, it's obviously cursed.

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>>49095962
I kill the buddha and transcend the gateless barrier.

>>49095962
Fight against my crippling anxiety and depression

oh wait you said my character.

>>49096103
That doesn't stop him from fighting it for you.

>>49095962
Start fighting abstract concepts such as illiteracy, poverty, nepotism, various epidemics and pandemics, etc.

>>49095962
Fight the sword

>>49095962
Gonna fight the GM nigga.

>>49095962
What if my character has multiple personalities and picks a fight with themself?

Be more specific. Are you talking about actual combat or an effort. Can I win the fight against evil? Or can I only win fights against evil people?

>>49096132
>sword is indestructible
>universe implodes

>>49095962
Become a god.

>>49095962
Fight reality and the non-existence of my waifu

>>49095962
Assuming I can't do something "clever XD" like declare war on poverty...

Get filthy rich fighting in tournaments.

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>>49095962
That lich that slapped our shit three sessions ago and then fucked off? Yeah, that motherfucker's getting his shit pushed in. I don't care if he has a shit ton of phylacteries, I just want to pay him back for last time.

i pick a fight with death

>>49095962
strap on my scabbard and head for the next Freedom From Religion meeting at the local library to pick a fight

>>49095962
I destroy it. No good can come of something that powerful.

>>49095962
Does the sword scream out in angry outbursts like Randy savage?

Then I fight everything.

Guards attack me for approaching the king
>"I'm gonna snap you like a slim Jim Oooooh yeaaaaaah"

"Macho sword..I have cancer. Can you help me fight it"
>"I'm gonna give cancer an elbow drop from space ohhhh yeaaaah"

>>49096586
the sword isnt indestructible. it only just has an effect where if you fight with it, you're guaranteed to win

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>>49096564
op here. actual combat

>>49095962

Win every fight he's in. Duh.

Do sneak attacks made against me count as a fight?

>>49095962
...Kill the Unholy, then chuck it into the Marianas Trench. Whats a fight without the risk of losing?

>>49095962

I decide to fight myself to see what happens.

>>49097131
>Whats a fight without the risk of losing?

Proper planning.

>>49097131

Hey, it just guarantees winning, not coming out of it without any injuries.

>Does this mean holding the sword while in a debate will help you win?

>>49097160
See, but that sounds boring.

>>49097162
I'm going to get injuries regardless. If I'm not winning on skill, then I'm not really learning anything. There's no trial or tribulation there.

>>49096981

Does the definition of "winning" include surviving a year and a day afterwards?

That depends. Is it just a really, really good sword, or is it some kind of magical effect?

If it's the former, it'd just replace his rapier.

If it's the latter, he'd start researching how it works.

>>49095962
Fight against myself.

I'm a dwarf in a city filled with humans and their petty feudal wars. I would probably take every noble house and then invite some dwarfs to my city.

>>49097162
>>Does this mean holding the sword while in a debate will help you win?
If you start swinging it around

Apparently win every fight he's in.

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>>49097240
no, you only win the short term fight. nothing more, nothing less

>>49095962
I fight myself.

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OP here. let me just make this CLEAR for all of you IN CASE YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND

the sword isnt indestructible. you can only win PHYSICAL fights with. thats all. these fights can only be temporary, no long, drawn out years long struggles

you cannot fight abstract concepts

kk? kk

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>>49097863
also, you cannot fight yourself

>>49097329
It took too long for this answer to come

>>49095962
Fight evil, then when my time comes, use magic to seal the sword where a legendary hero destined for good can retrieve it in a mystic temple as prophesied. Repeat ad infinitum.

>>49097863
But can I fight the sword or not, faggot?

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>>49097943
no

>>49095962
take the sword and carry it with me always. Never use it.

>>49097965
why?

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>>49097965
because you fight with the sword

Challenge all the gods to fight him at once.

>>49098035
meant for this>>49098019

>>49098035
You never said that nigger, you just said it lets me win fights, I can fight your mom with my dick and win without the sword's help.

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>>49098056
you cant fight the thing thats helping you win the fight against it, retard

>>49098084
Prove it.

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>>49098098
imagine taking the sword, now imaging using that sword to fight the sword

is that good enough for you?

>>49095962
I break him the fuck out of the game and let him run loss in the world. You've doomed yourselves.

>>49097863

Do I have to use the sword to win the fight though?
>Does it work if I attack people with the flat side of the blade?
>Does it work if I punch people with the pommel?
>Does it work if I punch people while holding the sword in my other hand?
>The same, but hanging from my belt?
>in my home, hanging from the wall?
>if I dropped it in a ditch?

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>>49098248
you just need to use the sword to fight. thats all. doesnt work if its sheathed or not with you

If the metal of the sword is melt to produce rings or brass knuckles, will it work ?

>>49098285

What if someone attacks me before I can draw the sword though? Won't I lose the fight then? What about quickdraw duels?

Ask if they have any in dagger form

>>49095962
Start an argument on /tg/.

>>49095962

I encase the sword in a stone, bind that in blessed silver, and cast the stone into the void between worlds where it will be carried by the aether to planes that always were and never will come to be.

I do this even before I bother to identify the sword.

>>49097104
>Do sneak attacks made against me count as a fight?
Interesting point. By definition a 'fight' must "the exchange of physical blows." If your opponent takes you down, without you ever knowing that they were there, before you have a chance to strike back, then it was not technically a fight.

Become the once and future king.

I fight the man who cannot be defeated.

>>49095962
He'll throw the sword in the sphere of annihalation because the DM just made the game super boring.

>>49096967
Just a theoretical

This
https://youtu.be/IzUT-1kX254

>>49099057
Did a sword touch you in a bad place?

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>>49095962
I master the Art of Cutting, and seek the Throne Domain of Kings.

>allows you to win any fight
>by a given definition of "any" and "fight"
was this sword created by wizards or lawyers?

>>49096527
He beats his disorder.

>>49099639

In our party is a fighter who was a dick to me at low levels. So every time we come across a weapon that pings as magical, I cast it into the void rather than let him have it.

Everyone else in the party is some kind of caster, so we don't need them.

>>49099690

Reach heaven through violence.

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op here. now i know what its like to be a GM

>>49099919
a menagerie of suffering

>>49096074
That was such a great series.

>>49097863
>>49096981
I love how in these images the reactions aren't just delight or disgust. They're implausibly weird sometimes, like that dude who looks like the Roman version of the party epiphany guy. What the fuck kind of women are these, cursed?

>>49097965
Can I fight the establishment? That's people as much as it is ideas. Or the law?

Take a really abstract definition of "fight" and become a professional gambler.

>>49099919
Honestly OP, I think you're just too boring for /tg/. The outside the box answers are what makes this place.

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Goes into a fight against saitama

>>49095962
I give the sword to a peasant kid and fight him until I beat him, then I will have transcended it's magics and be immune in the future.

>>49095962
Fight the ungodly hordes of Demons, Devils, and Daemons, find evil gods and smite them, and conquer the cursed lands so that good may once again flourish.

Or maybe just use it to get loads and loads of money, I dunno.

>>49095962
How are we defining fight?

I charge to the nearest news studio and make horribly racist/sexist/homophobic remarks on national television, thus picking a fight with the world.

Throw it away because a fight where I can't feel the threat of imminent death or the thrill of fighting a worthy opponent isn't a fight at all.

>>49097863
No, fuck off, you defined your blessed item poorly and now I'm going to fight evil and win.

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>>49095962
Find that Magretor fuck and get back my thirty gold, plus whatever interest he owes me.

Oh. And stop him from destroying the world. No point in getting my money back if he obliterates existence.

>>49095962
fight against self until sword is no longer needed

>>49101112
We all know /pol/ would stand beside you.

>>49097863
I will fight your definition of how the sword works and then fight all abstract concepts until the world is a utopia.

I fight the concept of a sword that makes you invincible.

>>49095962
Kill all immortals/undead then kill the sword.
And if we are taking an abstract definiton of fight and win, he'd get the sword to do it for him.

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>>49099690
KILL
SIX
BILLION
DEMONS

>>49095962
>Develop an eye twitch.
>I can't USE it because I don't trust myself to use it responsibly and not abuse its power.
>Also, it seriously might cause me to develop a Saitama complex.
>I can't LEAVE it because someone ELSE might find it, and I trust THAT even less.
>Sooo... I take it... and retire the character.
>Because this sucker is very clearly a great big red flag to the entire campaign.

>>49095962
>Itt: Retards who purposely misconstrue a very simple premise.

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>>49101551
>Welcome to /tg/

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>>49101389
?

>>49095962
I sell it. For 10g.

>>49098134
I don't have to fight the sword with the sword, you just said that it makes me win fights, not that it win fights. I can use another sword in my other hand to fight the sword.

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>>49101603
killsixbilliondemons.com

>>49095962

I fight myself.

>>49101681
You win. Now what?

>>49095984
unfortunately this does not work
a fight is a a conflict between two beings
winning a fight means you defeat the other being, but does not guarantee you achieve your aims from the fight
for instance you could fight a dude to take 100 dollars from him, win the fight and he still doesn't have 100 dollars.
"me not being omnipotent" is not a being, it is a property, you can't fight it

>>49101644
So far she's killed one (maybe two? I'm not up to date). There's a long road ahead.

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>>49095962
My current character, a psychic black ops agent who works for an Illuminati-esque group would slay all of man's enemies and then set about instituting a new Age of Heroes ala Gilgamesh in UBW by stripping the fat from the world.

My old character, a power-mad Whore of Babylon figure, would use it much more small-mindedly, by emasculating all the people who dared to challenge/annoy her.

I'm also playing a spunky athletic girl who would probably avoid using it out of fear of killing someone.

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>>49095962
Uuuuh, get sword proficiency?

>>49101747
One. Yes.
To be fair, she only just now learned how to throw super magic white lightning around, so it's gonna go pretty quickly from here on.

>>49101742
Well it doesn't matter because I won the fight and now get to decide what constitutes reality or not.

Fight ISIS. All of them. Then collect the massive bounty from the USA when I return with a C130 filled with heads.

>>49101747
Eh, it's inspired mostly by Hindu mythology. Six billion demons is only moderately impressive, considering.

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>>49095962
REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE.

>>49101889
To be fair the author supposedly found some inspiration in the book that anon posted.
>>49101948
"STAND DOWN, MY SWEET NUMIDIUM, OR I SWEAR BY THE FIFTEEN-AND-ONE GOLDEN TONES I WILL KILL YOU AND ALL YOUR PEOPLE."

>>49095962
Is it made by genies, demons, lawyers or any other creature who likes to fuck you over with technicalities?

Because even if the sword allows you to win any fight it doesn't mean you have to or even will. Maybe it only gives you a chance to win which makes it pretty much no different from any other sword. Or maybe it's an intelligent sword which gives you permission to win fights.

>>49101863
Didn't that one /k/mando try that and get arrested for trying to fly with a sword or something? I think I remember seeing that image.

Destroy it. That shit is always cursed.

Someone post Strombringer.

>>49096860
*tips pope hat*

>>49095962
I found the sword but you're asking what my character would do. Well they wouldn't do anything since they don't have the sword.

I fight OP for the fight to have sex with that sculpture

>>49096981
>>49097863
Women like this are my fetish.

I use the sword to defend the defenseless.

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Fight the terrasque.
Use it's corpse as a castle

>>49097724
Doesn't this chick have a dick?

>>49095962
Acquire the sword while alerting as few people to it as possible.

Walk into bars and slap people's gf's asses.

>>49101615
Godammit Kazuma.

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Well she doesn't know how to use a sword so she'd probably give it to one of her charmed friends and be extra careful about the spell not ending. Then probably tell them to kill all her enemies or something.

>>49102191
Fight gravity, win, learn to fly. Don't need plane anymore.

>>49104471
There was a build that used to throw itself at the ground and due to attack penalties would miss.

>>49095962
Go to Planescape and fight every god

>>49095962
Thread is literally an excuse for OP to post this image.

>only physical fights
>only short term
>only when using said sword
So it just gives huge bonus to effective skill and that's all? Unless it also bends reality to make me avoid projectiles and such, proficient swordsman won't benefit much from it.
I guess you can earn money in arena fights and then be stabbed while you sleep

Use it to find the man worthy enough to wield it.

>>49096132
Goddamn it. I came to post this

Yeah, I read that book too.

>>49103896
I certainly hope so, but I'll take it either way.

>>49104471
I don't think you understood what OP meant about the sword.

>>49095962
Sauce?

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>>49095962
I do pic related. I turn the whole world into one big fight against me, thus that I can never be killed.

>>49095962
Take it to the Mysterium.
Get hailed as a hero for returning such a potent Artifact.

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>>49095962
Lose my innocence and bring about an age of blood in a search for peace.

Somehow make that pitch sound very convincing and engaging without really coming off as edgy.

>>49095962
Try find out what the catch is.

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>>49103866
Then fear not, for I have one that will make you feel like it's Christmas.

>>49106931
>I do pic related. I turn the whole world into one big fight against me, thus that I can never be killed.

Sword doesn't prevent you from being killed, just stops you from losing a fight.

Being shot in the head while you sleep is hardly a fight.

>>49095962
I travel a few hours forward in time and fight my self.

>>49107798
B-but you got the sword in the first place by being your past self and fighting your future self in a duel!

I throw it away or destroy it or give it as an offering to the gods. Not because it would be boring to always win, but because it pleases me to discard something so valuable. Some sort of humility and minimalism. It's nice to deprive yourself of something some times.

>>49095962
fight myself

>>49095962
Attempt to argue with his wife.

>>49102021

H O R T A T O R !

>>49104574
With apologies to Douglas Adams.

>>49096071
What he said. That or used said curse against my enemies

>>49101779
You don't need to be proficient. You win even without knowing what the fuck you're doing. You could just hold it up and they'd just impale themselves on it or knock themselves the fuck out.

Carve a name on Daemon's prince's heart and then get lost in a warp.

>>49108199
You win the fight, but now you're sleeping on the couch for a month and she's got more ammunition to use against you later.
You've won the battle, but the war is impossible.

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Help my dad fight Cancer

>>49100723
He'd probably just concede, since he wouldn't want to fight anyway, you win(?)

>>49095962
One ticket to Tel Aviv, please.

>>49096124
"FUCK YOU MONDAYS. IMMA COMING FOR YA."

This is a ticket to the end of the universe.

>>49095962

Throws it into a volcano.

>>49095962
Conquer my foes, stabilize the world and begin the unification of the human race and stabilization of the world. Advance the capabilities of mankind until nothing can realistically threaten us. Then when all is said and done, pass it to someone else who wants it, die and watch things happen from my reincarnation as a gold-skinned psychic demigod. Repeat if necessary.

>>49100723
Well since the sword lets you win any fight, and he can defeat any opponent with one punch, that means you can defeat him before he gets a hit off on you.
You've won, but it's not a very satisfying fight for either of you, he feels sorry for you.

>>49095962
He destroys it.

This is too much power and he cannot allow anyone to have it.

>>49108740
Dude.
http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Cancer_mage

Perfect! No need to cure cancer!

>>49095962
>>you discover a sword that allows you to win any fight that you're in
But does it guarantee victory?

The player in my group who won't stop photocopying World of Warcraft characters until he rolls something that isn't Not!WoW.

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>>49097863

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Re-unite humanity then take the fight to the stars

>>49103039
*mitre*

Break it as part of my ascension as the avatar of the peacekeeper.

Probably gonna make nearby warriors pissed as fuck with me though, sounds like a perfect artifact for them.

>find a sword that allows me to magically win any fight that I'm involved in
>go home
>start computer
>palms start sweating uncontrollably
>http://www.boards.4chan.org/tg/
>begin hyperventilating
>[New Topic]
>shaking now uncontrollably, barely able to stay in chair, much less type
>"Hey VirtualOptim!"
>spaghetti leaking from computer's rear fan vent
>the sword begins to shake and glow with divine power
>"*World games are fun!"
>orgasm instantly x1000
Meanwhile, in Alabama
>Breaking news: A trailer park explosion displaces hundreds of individuals.
>The family is being evacuated to a FEMA camp nearby.
>Brotherunclefather of adolescent mentally challenged boy who perished told reporters: "I ain't know what happened. His head just went up, and the roof was gone, and there was this loud booming noise, and all of the sudden we was in the woods!"

>>49095962
I honestly can't tell if this is a black n white photograph or one of those statues made to look like wet clothing

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>>49112163
I knew we shoulda' went to church!

>>49103896
Gian Lorenzo Bernini's Hermaphrodite

>>49095962
Ascend to the crux of political power through legislative discourse

Fights the moon- bitch- goddess that turned him human.

>>49095962
Think about one's past and potentially near future
>Throw it into the deepest trench in the deepest body of water he can find
>Keep it around as a nuclear option not to be advertised
>Shit be Chaos dog give it to the boss
>"Glorious, to the family vault!"

>>49095962
Challenge god or any higher being to take their place then afterwards leave and have no god while I try to fuck a female mad hatter.

>>49100109
What series is it?

The same thing she would do if you gave her Omnipotence.

Do nothing important with it ever.

>>49112163
I have a theory. LogicNinja, VirtualOptim, the mods and janitors, ScaredofShadows, Jim Profit an d all the rest are less actual people, and more a manifestation of a universal middle finger. A thousand different faces of the same platonic 'fuck you'.

>>49095962
Goes through his book of grudges and pick a fight with everyone he's put in the book of grudges. This would include among other things a scamming shopkeeper, an undead vampire lord, and a fabulous knight guard of the king of the biggest nearby city state. He'd keep is axe in his offhand.

>>49095962
Fight my inner weakness