Create A Backstory

He didn't like being a half-orc

Crag was also a flaming homosexual.

Crag was in love with a hairy bear-dwarf named Rolf.

He did like being a flaming homosexual

Rolfs penis was called "the Cragblaster," for the power of its rhythmic penetrations.

Crag was not sure if he liked being Cragblasted.

>>48940912
Being the Vice President of the United States of America, Rolf had to hide his relationship with Crag because he was a half orc.

>>48940939
Crag decided to build a time machine so that he could Cragblast himself and see if he liked it or not.

Craig of course was vice president

Crag after years of getting Cragblasted realized that he does enjoy getting cragblasted.

>>48940989
it took a long time,
While craig built it rolf bought a donkey

>>48940989
Crag was not a good crafter and accidently went thousands of years in to the future.

>>48940996
Crag and Rolf were both vice president because the President had continued to be a blind halfling girl with god powers, who refused to resign.

>>48941011
Rolf cragblasted the donkey and converted to islam.

Rolf was deeply into the Dwarven raceplay scene and loved Crag for he was human AND orc.

>>48941023
In this future Crag met his great great great grandchild called Krag.

In the future, crag found himself to be the king of France.

>>48941072
Crag decides to go half way with his goal and decides that his quest to the past would be solved if he Cragblast Krag.

>>48941028
But that was fucking stupid so the real God killed the dumb halfling and she was dead forever and couldn't use her powers to weasel out of it so there.

Rolf found it impossible to cragblast Krag and sought out the ancient monks who guarded the fabled Kragblast technique of dickery

>>48941135

They didn't like Crag.

>>48941190
Until crag offered to have rolf suck all of their dicks.

>>48941445
However crag got jealous and fucked the monks brains out, via their eye sockets

>>48942000
The temple was reduced to a smoking ruin, hence named 'Crags' Blasting'.

>>48942370
The temple was strangely okay with this.

>>48942581
As it turned out however, isolated and herniated monks aren't particularly good at penis techniques, despite descreet rampant homosexuality.

File: tumblr_mkiseyGlKO1r54thao1_1280.png (607KB, 655x800px) Image search: [Google]

607KB, 655x800px

>>48940819
If nothing else at least enjoy a larger picture of your flaming homosexual political dwarf loving, self-hating half-orc.

>>48943122
That's why the monks had to train all day and night their penis techniques with newcomers.

Crag fought by sitting on people with his giant, toned asscheeks, magically altered to be hard as diamond.

He was known for his silver tongued diplomacy

>>48940819
Crag was an Orc
no he was a dragon orc
actually he was just a fragon but he was still CRAGDOR!!