>that girl that bakes cookies for the group

>women
>playing tabletop
>doing nice things
nice fanfic

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>>48890865

>>48890865
Best girl

Marry her and baby her up.

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>>48890865
those cookies weren't for the group, they were for you and you alone

>>48890886
Lel someone spends too much time in close quarters with sweaty neckbeards.
Got 3 i game with atm.
2 and myself (dude) bring stuff in now and then.>>48891130

>>48890865
Bitch that is MY job and i ain't excepting replacements. Mumble mumble culinary school mumble muble years mumble.

I bake pot brownies for mine.

I usually bring snacks because I'm terrible at making food for other people.

>>48891291
Pot suckers are better. Last longer and they slow release in the mouth instead of in the stomach acid. Vodka bears too.

>>48891341
No clue how to make suckers and the last time I had gummy anything, I was tripping balls for nearly a day and a half.

>>48891341
This interests me.
Normally i go jelly shots but gummi?
Please, elaborate.

>>48891373
Basic sucker recipes are everywhere then add the oil in the mix when its ready. You'll need a digital thermometer and a cheap induction plate for proper candy making though. There's also basic pot sucker recipes as well so theres that.
>>48891472
Soak gummi bears in vodka over night. Blam. Its a little over a shot per and they taste like gummi bears only softer. Obviously you gotta be careful cause you could take a nice handful and be wasted a hour later.

>>48891512
I'll have to look into that.

>>48891512
Oh. And soak them in the fridge.

>>48890865
Sounds like a best girl

>>48891512
shit i need to try this.

>>48892823
I'm surprise most haven't yet. Any vodka works to cause they just end up tasting like gummi bears even if its $2 a gallon jet fuel their filled with.

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>>48890865
>when girls tell you they like your "weird" dice

>>48891512
Does the bear expand? I don't see how they can be about a shot each.

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>>48890865
>girl makes brownies for the group
>hype as fuck
>the brownies are horrible
>they're like a thick brown jelly full of rocks that scratch my teeth
>try so hard to like them, but my face gives me away
>they just suck, period
>all her cooking is similarly garbage
>eventually she feels discouraged and stops cooking for us

>>48894172
You killed her soul, bro

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>>48894172
should have been straight form the beginning and helped her improve as a cook with constructive criticism. just imagine it anon:

>go over to help girl make pastries
>all the excess heat from the oven making you guys sweat
>she changes into something more skin revealing to help with the heat
>constant tasting of batters and sweets heightening your senses as you get sugar rushes
>suddenly you guys are doing lewd as fuck things on the counter and getting batter everywhere as you lick brownie mix off each other

truely being a chef is a wonderful thing

>>48894605
Kitchen sex sounds gross

>>48890865
More than cookies, she makes cakes and pies and cooks dinner for us.

>>48894806
Can confirm it is not.
My girl aint into food play, but once you get someone turned on enough they become down for anything.
Tl;dr
Everything is hawt if your foreplay is ace

>>48890865
>That GM that serves excellent dinner each time to save everyone time on eating alone and thus gaining extra hour for playing

>>48894172
>Not saying people outright their food is dog-shit
>Not giving them any suggestions whatsoever
>Just pretending it's good
Kill yourself. People like you are the reason awful cooks cook

>>48895454
It was emotionally difficult to tell her that it sucked.

>inb4 boo hoo faggot

Fuck it, let's make this a /tg/ recipe thread. Here's my quick'n'easy-as-fuck peach cobbler:

32 oz Canned Peaches.
1x yellow cake mix
Greased glass pan.

Dump the peaches, juices and all, into the pan. Make sure to space the peaches evenly.
Pour cake mix over the top of the peaches, evenly spread it so the cake mix covers the peaches.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes or until the crust browns.

Spoon servings into a bowl with ice cream or heavy cream poured over it. Enjoy.

>the girl that sucks dick for the group

>>48893853
Yea.

>>48894172
Atleast its not /k/ brownies

>>48894172
>not having a poker face
>not having the spine to tell her she needs some improving
>not offering to tell help her improve 1 on 1
>not building your wife from the ground up to ensure she no bad habits
>not making a wife who associates good memories of you and her together so she by proxy loves to cook
You, sir, are the Plebest of tiers.

>>48895580
This makes me remember awesome /tg/ cooking threads from couple of years ago.

>>48896871
We used to have crossboard threads between /ck/ and here. Those were great.

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>best player in my group broke up with her boyfriend who is also in the group
>never coming back
time to find a new group I guess, idiots cant even be bothered to read the rulebook

>>48890865
>that guy who bakes brownies for /k/

>>48890865
>that girl that wants the group to be fat

>>48894806
Can confirm it isn't, you just gotta do it right.

Be careful with accepting baked goods, you never can know what's in them

I still recall that fucker on one of the confession threads that sneaks her breast milk in each batch of baked goods she brings to a guy she likes.

Milkanon, I know you're lurking on this board and if you see this post you have to stop. It's not okay.

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>>48890865
>used to have group member who did this
>she moved away to go to college
>now do dnd over skype
>no more cookies

>>48890865
Not a gril, but if I ever find a gaming group local those guys are gonna be fat as fuck. Chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake, and pie every damn session.

I used to come to my both my groups for like a month going "I sure hope you guys like apples", because our tiny-ass apple tree in the yard produced almost two wheelbarrows of apples. I'm amazed it didn't fall down.

So there were dried apples, apple pies, apple toffee, apples and cream, you name it. I would bring the apple wine and cider too, but the university isn't happy with alcohol at the premises without a permit.

It didn't give any apples at all last year, but it looks like we'll make a harvest this year.

Until then, I have all these redcurrant from last year I need to bake up.

>>48896765
I 100% believe that /k/ brownies did not really have cum in them. No dude's cum is that viscous and white.

>>48898069
I'm not going to post proof, but mine isn't far off.

But yeah. It kinda looked like the icing that comes with those big cinnamon rolls.

>>48898069
Not true. Either save up forever for that or eat celery and pineapple and drink pineapple and grapefruit juice and watch every load look 5 packets of toaster strudel icing. Apparently it even tastes sweeter.

>>48898000
That's pretty neat, anon.
What kind of apples are they?

>>48898108
I can't remember, they're some Russian strain that can stand the cold winters but still produce edible apples. Traditionally, apple trees around here produce fruit so tart they're only usable for mash.

>>48890865
>puts bromium into them so ugly fat neckbeards she plays with don't even ogle at her

>>48898190
>bromium
>Bromium is a venture capital–backed startup based in Cupertino, California, that works with virtualization technology.
Bromide anion, my man.

>>48894172
reminds me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8khvu_-Rvk
it's in Russian, but eh, the video is understanble enough without words

>>48898212
since bromide curbing sexual drive is myth anyway i refuse to admit my mistake

>tfw when i'd gladly cook cakes or pie if i just had at least someone to play with
>no FLGS, no /tg/ interested friends, here
>sadness

>>48898239
I was going to ask how the fuck it was supposed to do anything other than make people want you dead for attempted poisoning but a quick google search backs up that myth.
Fun fact i discovered in my search: the recent trend in african countries for preventing AIDS transmission is apparently to skin the penis entirely or core out the vagina as not only does the resulting reduced sex drive prevent transmission numbers they believe the scar tissue is more robust to infection. Before this it was fucking children.
Thanks for helping me brighten my life bromium, anon.

>>48898273
Correction: backs up that statement that it is infact a myth.

>>48898273
the fuck i just read? i knew africa was a fucking stone age shithole, but this is some fucked up ship even for a stone age shithole

(stone age with ak-47s that is)

>>48898247
where u at?

>>48898107
That's some weird advice, anon.

>>48898294
The saddest part is that one of the countries with the highest percentage of people with aids is one of the few countries in sub saharan Africa that's not a shithole: Botswana.

I have no idea why their aids population is so high, but given the fact that they're surrounded by real shitholes I'd imagine that's a key factor.

>>48898294
Well they believe wholly in superstition and use vaguely scientific leanings to back these up.
For example: they know breasts develop during puberty and that puberty results in sex drive increase right? So their logical leap is to heat a log to red hot ember levels then "iron" the breasts of girls age 9 to prevent the breasts from developing by damaging the cells in the interior. Because obviously halting the breasts growth and development will somehow stop puberty as they're tangentially related.

That kid thing? They know AIDS is transmitted via sex and that if you use needles to inject weaker forms of viruses into children those children gain immunities, right?
So why not inject the children while they're young and not interested in sex with healthy sperm and "sex" to innoculate them against AIDS semen and "bad sex".

There's also tribes that crack skulls open to alleviate headaches caused from "head pressure"(possibly sinus headaches) and they just leave it that way. No sewing the shit up or anesthesia. Just a leaf compress to hold the scalp together and hope some scars heals over the hole to prevent air exposure and wearing hats 24/7 to prevent sun exposure on skin so thin you can see the exposed brain underneath.

>>48898307
The best advice is weird. Now go and confirm for me if that shit about taste works or if bitches be cray.

>>48898371
the fuck i just read? [2]

>>48898304
eastern europe

>>48898506
Well the good news is you guys tend to get the most dedicated historical reenactors. I've seen some videos out of Ukraine where dudes were fighting each other with real swords and blood flying everywhere.

>>48898527
we have those even in tiny shithole i live in, but fuck them, those dudes are too realistic for my liking.

>>48898378
But the whores where I live would just lie and claim it did. Where do I find better prostitutes?

>>48898546
>>48896620
Tell me where I can find this girl, in the interest of science, of course.

>>48898371
>>48898273
You're making me want to run a game in Africa.
>>48898506
>the fuck i just read? [2]
Campaign material.

>>48898506
>eastern europe
More specifically?

>>48890865
Cooking before I DM anything really gets rid of any anxiousness of preparing to run a game for a few hours, being able to just focus on my spices and ingredients instead of worrying about how much fun my players are going to have or worrying about them fucking up my game

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>>48890865

>>48890865
Girlfriend of my gm does that.

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>>48890865
>life is getting me down
>Huge Australian friend taps me on the shoulder as everyone heads off to have some drinks
>Tell him what's wrong
>Gives me a big hug and pat on the back
"You'll be right, mate"

>>48898239
There's other ways. Like whatever brand of crazy pills they are feeding diagnosed deviants.
Or good old roofies and some precise work with manicure scissors.

>>48898679
Fucking alcohol is an anaphrodisiac, there's no need to go that far.

>>48898587
/k/ cookies?

>>48898574
fucking Lithuania
i'm always embarassed saying where i live, even on anon boards.

>>48898639
i guess she's at advantage seeing through knight helm's slits, provided they are horizontal of course

>>48898812
Oh, can't say I know much of the country except for being "those guys that Russia had under their toe for years yet still failed to actually annex".
And I'm from the wrong side of former Berlin Wall myself.

>>48898812
I can see why. Lithuania's the shrunken dick of the world -- a shrivelled husk of its former, massive, erect glory. It's like if the British Empire was now reduced to a small town in Wales.

>>48898812
Aren't you guys really good at basketball?

>>48890865
But he's a man, Andy is short for Andrew. Didn't the constant stubble give it away?

>>48898998
What the fuck else is Andy meant to mean?

Calling a girl Andy is just cruel. Might as well call a boy Sue.

I wish to play tabletop irl with people i can hang out with,
problem is i live in Slovenia, which is eastern europe, and tabletop is almost non-existant,
exept the games oriented to kids and all the friends i know and hang out with belong more on
the "balkan gangster" side

Any tips what to do? or am i fucked untill i move?

>>48898812
Don't be embarrassed anon, there are shittier places in the world. You also add a different viewpoint in this anglosphere site anyway.

>>48898868
Atleast he doesn't have to deal with too many muslims.

>>48898581
All you have to do is worry about not giving them food poisoning or fucking up the spice baalnces

>>48899039
>Atleast he doesn't have to deal with too many muslims.
Even worse. Orthodoxy.

>>48899031
Surely there's plenty of Slovenians interested in massively popular card games of neo-gothic mythical content.

>>48899007
Andrea, Andreas, Anderson, Anand.
But yeah, given it's derived from 'Manly' it is pretty unkind to call a girl that

>>48899078
>Anderson
>Ander
>Son

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>>48899049
I thought orthodox priests were /k/ as fuck wouldn't that make them based? I actually dont know that much about Orthodox

>>48899089
You think Muslims aren't /k/ as fuck, too?

/k/ is a bad thing, when it comes to real life.

>>48899070
Last time i saw anyone dealing with cards and monsters was Yu-gi-oh, and that was when i was in 3rd grade, and honestly i miss those days, nobody knew english, we just won battles by picking the cooler looking card

>>48899078
Andon, Anders, Andrej, Andzelika, Andromeda

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>>48899110
Sounds better than the actual rules.

That's the game I was referring to, anyway.

>>48899047
Maybe it'll keep them balanced if I'm balanced

>>48899007
>What the fuck else is Andy meant to mean?
anal ditzy

>>48899105
meh, depends on how much you like weapons and like your government. But anyway to avoid the memeing with the weapons, why would orthodox be worst than the muslims? I thought most eastern europeans are atheist due to the years of communism?

>>48899123
oh yeah, yu-gi-oh was the shit back in the day,
a "good" card was worth a lot,
and we had quality tests, the best quality card was a non-plastificied english clean card,
while a plastificied, shiny-effect covered german card was worth shit,
even if you had exodia itself on it

every birthday and holiday "i want yugioh" and the parents would buy small
10-card packs from the only store in that part of the country,
in time kids had fat stacks of cards and would even conduct trades and debts and even thefts

it was too real

>>48898902
and beer, though we don't export it much, afaik

>>48898868
except it was either part of Poland or ruled by essentially slavonic dukes when it was great

>>48899049
local orthodox are pretty swell, can't say anything bad about them. and since they are russian and country itself is heavily rusophobic, local orthodox priests ain't anything near /k/

>>48899172
Orthodoxy is objectively the shittiest religious system there is. Very little theology, everything's based on mysticism and empty ritual, it literally sold out in order to crack down on the plebs, and it's still the same kind of bullshit the Romans had. There's a reason all the good Russian thinkers -- the devoutly Christian ones, like Tolstoi and Dostoevsky -- weren't Orthodox (although Dostoevsky was just extremely confused).

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>>48890865
>that girl that's the most dedicated roleplayer and always makes endearing, memorable characters with thorough yet not confusingly or boringly long backstories.

>>48899211
Thorough backstories are extremely overrated. Chigurh doesn't have a backstory, but he works as a good character because of -- his character.

>>48894172
Just tell her it's better to overcook food than undercook it.

It sounds like she is scared of burning the food.

>>48899226
agreed. who can even tell you burnt it when it's chocolate? it's brown/black already!

>>48899172
>I thought most eastern europeans are atheist due to the years of communism?
Communism was against religion principally, yes, but whipping faith out of the people was not high priority. On some basic level, teaching of bible aligned with communist ideal - both say that common people should do their part of the collective toil honestly and with the best effort. The only difference it whether they do it please The Lord or for good of Proletariat. When clergy did not actively agitate against the Party, the Party would usually leave them alone, because they had more pressing matters at hand,
Things might have been different if communism was given another 50 years.

>>48894806
Kitchen sex has scared me ever since a roommate of mine nearly lost a couple fingers to a bread knife trying to bang his gf on our kitchen bench which incidentally is a really shitty thing to do, don't fuck things where other people eat.

>>48899283
>don't fuck things where other people eat.
also
>don't fuck things other people eat.

>>48899283
Don't call people things

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>>48899209
So Orthodoxy is just pure retardation.

>>48899273
Yeah makes sense I was just remembering the Estonia numbers from this comic and assumed more of Eastern Europe was like that.

>>48899283
Well, that encapsulates several of the reasons why I'm wary about it.
>getting nasty bodily fluids where someone plans to prepare food
>potentially slicing and dicing bared flesh on kitchen implements
>potentially getting burned if you left a stove on or are boiling water
>awkward and uncomfortable relative to conventional sex locations

>>48899305
There's a lot more stuff you can fuck on kitchen tables than people.

>>48899324
>getting nasty bodily fluids where someone plans to prepare food
>potentially slicing and dicing bared flesh on kitchen implements
>potentially getting burned if you left a stove on or are boiling water
implying it's fucking hawt

>>48899313
There is a God, he just hates Estonians.

>>48894605
>>48894982
literally my fetish, god damnit tg

>>48899353
Am God, can confirm

One of my players is literally a chef by profession, and another one is a patissier (they don't actually work together, but they did become friends when both of them were asked to cater for the same event). They make us full multiple course gourmet meals on occasion.

Beat that.

>>48899682
Fucking racist.

>>48898107
I did an experiment like that with a girl once, apparently it doesn't taste any better

>>48896765
Hey they were pretty fucking tastey.

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>>48899755
I cook for my group and I try really hard to make them happy.

>>48895580
Don't forget the /k/ semen. ;^)

>>48896871
>>48896948
Not anymore?

>>48898868
Former glory?
Lithuania was always the bitch of poland

>>48890865
I did a cake for my DM when he finished the first half of our campaign.
DM appreciation and all that.

I already told you a thousand times, I am a guy!

>>48899809
stop being russian

>>48900617
dick or gtfo

>>48900658
Don't be so sexist, sis

>>48890886
This literally happened in our group the last time I played at a traditional games store you grognard
it's ok though, anon, I still love you[/spoile]

>>48895541
boo hoo faggot

reddit the thread and consequential posts

>>48902095
Why are you so angry, bro?

>>48891147
>having to fight over your share of cookies with another, much smaller human
Fuck that, marry and get warm love-cookies forever.

>>48892903
>"even if its $2 a gallon jet fuel their filled with."
>Takes notes in "How to Kill Someone" notebook.

I make up snacks for my group. Sometimes I buy them pizza and soft drinks. I occasionally give out back rubs to the more fit or attractive guys in my group.

Am I a good host?

>>48895580
Another Tip:
When I make it I place 2cm thick slices of butter evenly across the top about 2-3 inches apart.

>>48904225
Oh yeah just find a sugar fiend you hate and tell them their jumbo gummi's.

>>48899836
>>48898556
Damn it, now I can't claim it's for science! You are an asshole!

>>48898812
I'm sorry
At least you are not Romanian if it makes you feel better

>>48899346
>>potentially getting burned if you left a stove on or are boiling water
>implying it's fucking hawt

if it's boiling it has to be hot

>>48898639
>>48898828
You found the chink in my armor.

>>48905016
Romania is at least visible on the map

>>48905245
That's pretty racist, bro

>ITT: Normies
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>48898273
Everything I hear about Africa is fucking god-awful. You can only excuse so much with western exploitation, Africa is what happens when you give millions of uneducated inbreds a continent and tell them to go hog-wild.

>>48899324
>clean the kitchen once in a while, you slob
>put your knives away. This isn't even sex advice, this common sense and being a functioning adult
>don't leave the stove on. You know, like you've been told since you were a fucking child
>not if you do it right

>>48905245
Old but gold

>>48907032
>inbreds
For all that is wrong with them, the bantu speaking ethnic groups of Africa alone are more genetically diverse than every white ethnic group put together.

>>48890865
The only girl in my first game was the one who complained all the time about how I kept having to leave games because my cramps (this was when my Crohns was getting really bad) were stopping me from being able to focus on what was going on.

>knowing girls
I haven't known a girl in almost 5 years

>>48907032
Had a friend from Cameroon, said it was pretty much the same as here (midwest) in the big cities
Had a friend from Nigeria and he said it was awful, guess it matters where you are

>>48890865
I'm a diabetic, but I appreciate the sentiment.

>>48899283
A bread knife? Those don't tend to be all that sharp, relatively speaking. Sure you're not confusing it with something else?

>>48896620
>that one feminine guy that sucks dick for the group
Ftfy

>>48909373
>this fag doesn't sharpen his bread knives
>this fag probably thinks steak knives never dull or that stainless steel food grade knives never rust
>he probably thinks cutting boards legit don't dull knives