Whose Turn Is It Anyways?

>>48867814
>The court wizard lost his wand of wonder up his ass. Get it out before he farts a fireball in the middle of high court.

>>48867814
The old man in the darkened alleyway claims to have a rare biomancy wand of Grease, but he needs some help from the party's half elf wizard to figure out it's operation. Ignore the blindfold.

>>48867814
Before you is this exotic figure, dressed up in Gothic lace.. the loli says- no wait guys come back! I swear it's not my fetish! Please!

>>48867814
There's a big looming threat of an army conquering everything in its path, but the players are more interested in experimenting with the alchemy system than forwarding the "main" plot.

>>48867814
The Lich-King is spreading disease throughout the land...venereal disease.

>got a boner yet?

>>48867971
>Party development philosopher's stone
>at the same time the city is being razed
>enemy general seizes it from the very intelligent and rich but physically unimposing party
>he's now immortal and has the assorted powers of the stone behind him
gj

>>48867971
>The last scion of the imperial line has gone missing. He is the only one who can save the world. Take this ring only he can wear and find him
>When they find him, he flips them a gold coin and tells them 'thanks, now fuck off' and goes back to drinking and whoring

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>>48867984

>>48868033
>requesting full pic

>>48868045
Believe me, I want to know the context just as much as you.

>>48867814
>The Armies of Light are victorious!
>The Emperor announces that he can finally implement the complete eradication of all non-human/elven/dwarven sapient species in the kingdom
>starting with the genocide of orcs, goblins, kobolds and kender
>Hooooooo!!!

>>48867971
>Players actively avoid all major conflicts in favor of exploring, experimenting and digging through libraries.

>>48867814
>The king's top general -who, by the way, humbly refused to be king when the vast majority of the townsfolk asked him to because everyone loves him- is imposing, charismatic, everyone loves him, could definitely do this menial task he's about to ask of you with a hand tied behind his back, but he's gracious enough to allow a band of novice adventurers to bask in his glory and take the under his wing for tutelage, while he's busy bearing the burden of singlehandedly all by himself saving the kingdom from this ominous invisible threat the party is barely capable of fathoming and...

Just no.

>>48868079
All you need to get them back on track is a villain who burns books.

>>48868079
Hey, that could be cool... especially if its like the library in unseen university.

>>48867814
It is the 25th cycle of Tent.

The KKK (Krazy Klown Kingdom) is at a verge of a civil war. During the last 10 years, the war against the M&MMs (Mime and Mimic Monarchy) has led to severe war fatigue.
There are talks of peace, but a radical splinter group, the KKK (Kruel Klown Koalition), wants to continue the war.

Unbeknownst to all parties a third power is emerging, the AAA (Alliance of Artsy Artists), threatening the whole continent of Manege

>>48868117
>>48868079
All wizard party?

>>48868109
But that's great. By the time the party has gotten back Chad GloryDick got himself killed because [reasons]. Now the party not only has experience from their romp but also tools from the dungeon to fight against Evil BadMcDeath and his skelefriends.

>>48868148
Or alchemists.

>>48868071
>>48868045
It's from the comicbook Empowered by Adam Warren. I can't remember what volume that happened in.

>>48868222
Or clerics with the knowledge domain.

>>48867814
Help the mayor's daughter get past the goblins guarding the outhouse! She's gotta poop SUPER BAD.

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>Your whole party has been cursed with nymphomania, and must find the cure before...
>uhhh, okay, never mind.

>>48868354
>>48868431
do you dare to enter my magical realm?

>>48868142
I'd play the honk out of that.

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>>48868620
Dare I ever!

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>>48869056
omagawd

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>>48867814
A noble knight needs your aid in slaying the vicious witch that turned him into A perpetual source of Alimony

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>>48867814
Things you can say about your armor but not your wench.

>>48869373
It's a little loose fit, but that's ok because I prefere the range of motion.

>>48869373
it was cheap

>>48869373
Well, besides the good looks and snug fit.. I'd say the best part is that I can always rely on it.

>>48869373
it's definitely a bit heavy

>>48869373
Took it from a dude I killed

>>48869373
It's a little worn out and a bit too heavy, but it shines right back up after a good rub.

>>48869373
As good as new once you clean up the blood.

>>48869373
>>48869699
Could do without the holes though

>>48867943
"Okay, so this next dungeon is in a dragon. You can pick one of two entrances..."

>>48869373
Sure, it's been abused and gotten a little beat up over the years, but I can pound it back into shape in no time.

>>48869373
I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

>>48868431
Requesting sauce. Image search only returns boy band He-man.

>>48869373
I haven't entered it since I've put on weight...

>>48870584
>>>/h/4345813

>>48869373
once it gets to beat up i'll change to a newer model

>>48869373

"You—wizard! Are you the artificer I've heard about? Here's 1,000 gold—take this piece and make it +1!"

>>48869373
I like it.

>>48869373
Let's hope this one lasts longer then the last few

>>48869373
Can't say I like the leather straps, but it's very fitting.

>>48869373
Is there any way to reduce the noise it makes besides covering it in oil?

>>48869373
You can bang 'er with a broadsword all night long, as long as you don't mind the noise.

>>48869373
"I should give this to my son when he grows up, assuming it fits."

>>48868620
Oddly, I'm >>48868354 and I don't even have a scat fetish. I was referencing an old(?) /co/ meme where... I wanna say it was Power Girl, is complaining she HAS TO FART SUPER BAD.

Which in turn probably was a fetish thing, at least to start with.

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Signs the whole campaign is going to take place in a magical realm.

>>48873261
"I've added a social combat system to this campaign."

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>>48873261
"The party face knows Draconic, right?"

>>48873261
"The guard informs you that all guests must wear complimentary diapers as part of the city's dress code."

>>48873261

"Welcome to the Underdark."

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>>48873261
>The strange creature greets you with a cold, "I am Rain Silves."
Didn't sergals originate on /tg/?

>>48873344
Yes. As per the rules of old, enjoy your ban.

>>48873261
>"Hi my name's Drew Carey and this is 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'!"

>>48873298
Time for my dragonborn paladin and his charisma to shine.

>>48873368
Fuck, wasn't expecting that. Nice one.

>>48873261
>You all start in the valley of the armor eating slimes..

>>48868020
>beat the patchy stubble off his pimply face in front of the whores he hires
>reiterate that he is to be returned to the palace, by order of the Regent acting in the name of the Emperor
>As loyal countrymen we must fulfill these orders by any means that might succeed
>time is short your highness
>if he throws a fit again we'll beat him senseless and put him in a trunk
>the Regent knew who we were when he hired us

>>48869373
Its old and worn out from years of use. I think I might get a replacement

>>48873261
The queen licks her lips

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>>48873261
"You identify the little winged lizard as a hammerspace dragon..."

>>48873788
>the queen licks her eyebrows
FIFY

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>>48873261
"They're an all-female race..."

>>48869373

It's a shame I have to shit in it, but my page boy is always there to clean it out.

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>>48873801
Fetishes aside, having a familiar or pet that doubled as an intelligent bag of holding would be pretty neat

>>48873261

"Welcome to nWolf. Now, I've made some changes to the Litany..."

>>48873261
Tim volunteers to GM.

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>>48873830
I prefer this style of part-snake xeno.

>>48873848
One of my favorite character ideas for a hammerspace dragon is that they offer to tag along with adventuring parties temporarily as a friendly, slightly wetter Bag of Holding for surprisingly little pay, knowing that they're safer when a bunch of strong martial and magic users have a reason to keep them from being killed, and that they probably won't bat an eye at a request to eat some of the party's kills.

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>>48874036
>Wetter
That's just gross. Bags of holding are extra dimensional space. They're pocket space sewn into the fabric of the main reality. No need to have biology there at all.
It would just be a creature, draconic at that, who has a passive magical ability like fire breath or going, but instead it's a bag of holding effect. Hell, I'm not sure show digestion would even work in that case. Or why it would need to, it only has a tiny body so it doesn't exactly need much food.
It's not like the sorcerer needs to consume a cow every dungeon to fuel his spells after all either.

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>>48874106
>That's just gross
Well, hammerspace dragons did start out as a way for vore fetishists to have tiny dragon preds without stupidly-huge elastic stomachs. They have infinite stomach space with the ability to choose whether to digest individual parts or not, but it's still a stomach, and that means wet.
Although if you're going specifically for a Bag of Holding thing, I could see a naturally tiny dragon species like a fairy dragon or something having a gate to a pocket dimension/ethereal plane plus some sort of a harmless localized shrinking thing triggerable at its mouth. Then you have a little dragon you can feed bits of meat and who will also safely store a bunch of big things for you.

>It's not like the sorcerer needs to consume a cow every dungeon to fuel his spells after all either.
Again, since it's initially a vore thing, they eat a lot because they can and they don't get any negative repercussions for doing so.

>>48873261
"-Good job heroes, you have returned victorious. Time for your just reward!- The king then starts to slowly undress"

>>48873261
"You come across an enchanted piss forest..."

>>48873261
"I borrowed some elements from my favorite fantasy series... Gor."

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>>48874644
>Party recoils in disgust and concern
>Bard just starts undressing too

>>48874260
I guess I'm being a little bit knee-jerky. Biotech and slightly squicky magic is cool. Wither way would work.
Played around with genes a bit. What plans do you have for Aster dzamie?

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>>48875789
Well, it does do well to make it so that hammerspace dragons aren't so obviously superior in every way to Bags of Holding. A thorough coating of dragon saliva does well to make a party think about what they have their dragon hold for them - (sheathed) swords, treasure chests, and as much gold as they can imagine are all fine, but you can't use 'em as a library.
>spoiler
He's my progen, and is fine as he is. I figure I should try to think of a good Clan name (and make a tumblr to store bits and bobs of lore - it would seem really out-of-place in my pastebin), but names have never been my strong point. Aside from that, I'll probably go for eventually another 2k Arena battles to bring my droprate sample size up to 5k battles, then look into formatting to make it all pretty in the forums.
You did make him rather pretty, but I think I actually prefer him Basic/Basic/Basic.

Why does captcha now have two-stage captchas, even on success now?

>>48875203
Surrounded by a plot of peeonies and guarded by a piss troll conjured by the mighty Whizzard, I assume. If you refuse his toll, you must duel him to the drenched with pisstols.

>>48875789
Also, you're literally the first person on here I've met who also plays Flight Rising.

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>>48876016
I haven't played in a while. Still got an Okapi gene I bought when they were new.
And it doesn't look good on anyone. It's infuriating.

Oh and captchas are fucked up as always.
Better than they once were though. Used to get stuck in infinite loops of typing out nonsensical word strings for the hope of being recognised as a human.

Stormcatcher 4 lyfe

>>48873275
Truly dank

>>48876172
Sup Jim.

>>48873261
"No, no, we aren't playing that CoC."