>you will never follow Aslan into battle against the White Witch

>>48818023
Fine by me, He didn't do shit.

>you will never be Aslan's transgender bride

>>48818023
Ehh.. honestly Narnia isn't that great a place. I mean, what is there? Just a whole lot of talking animals and spirits.
All the cool stuff is things like the sacrificial table and the woman who can cause eternal winter with her wand.

>>48818112

It's probably a good place for trekking. Stunnig landscapes and good BBs.
Calormen sounds more interesting by any measure though.

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>>48818023
>literally both things I could kill with an Ar15

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>>48818023
>wanting to follow such a shitty leader
Aslan's a fucking bitch. The only man I'll charge into battle for is my God Emperor.

Replace Aslan with Jesus and...
Actually, replace NOTHING and you get Left Behind. How did we let this happen?

>>48819092
Because Narnia was always Blatant Christian Allegory (tm) and never claimed to be anything else?

>>48819092
>Gee billy, why does your mom let you eat paint chips?

Horse and his boy was the best book.

Edmund was played by That Guy, but Peter was played as Lawful Stupid. Anyone else?

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>>48818023
>fighting against a pagan Nordic beauty on behalf of furry Jesus
Nah.

I'm going with the witch. Dat magical /ss/.

>>48819682
The loli was a druid, and Susan did not actually die.

>>48819733

I was disappointed that the witch was so mannish in the movie. She's supposed to be hot!

I re-read these books a few months back, because I was under the impression that they were decent, family-friendly adventure novels.

They're not. They're really, really obviously written to appeal to little kids.

Still, I read up to the Silver Chair, and found them interesting in that naive, old-school fantasy sense (the same reason I find the old King's Quest games so interesting). I did, however, find it really wierd and annoying how little agency any of the main characters had, with most major conflicts being resolved only through Aslan's intervention. That's such a weird moral to teach kids: "don't try to resolve any of your problems yourself, just pray to Jesus and he'll solve everything for you".

>>48824455
>Aslan pushes the kids into starting to do things before solving them himself
Either a Christian allegory or an impatient railroad DM.

It's just a Christian story.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_The_Chronicles_of_Narnia

>>48824595
>>48824539
>>48819092
In other news, these anons have also discovered that grass is green and fish swim.

>>48818023
>White witch
I'm starting to get really tired of thsi SJW bullcrap