>he actually requires his PCs to eat food rations and sleep

>>48812039
>Start a campaign
>Party eats, sleeps, and does other adventurer things
>100 days into the campaign, they all drop dead from constipation

>>48812039
>He actually requires his PCs to use random number generation to determine the outcome of menial events during combat, like swinging the sword, parrying the sword and even seeing how hard the sword hits

> DM forces us to keep track of rations and weight
> We agree
> He forces us to account for water and horse food
> We agree, as long as he explains how and when it's consumed.
> Two sessions later the word "horse" begins to trigger him

>>48812039
My party lives at an adventurer's guild. We have breakfast together when the day starts, we go do crazy shit all day, we come back and have dinner together, and the day ends when we all go to bed.

If we go out on anything that takes longer than a day, we set up camp wherever we are, someone rolls survival to find us some food, maybe they hunt even, and everything just goes on.

It's not hard, people. Just don't rules-lawyer it to death.

>>48812039

>he requires for PCs to breathe

>>48812089
>be an absolute master of my martial art
>I still have a 5% chance of falling on my face and done xdy damage to myself.

>>48812039
>DM doesn't only require you to eat rations
>He won't tell you when you have to do it
>Suddenly your character is weak and starving
>"You didn't say you consumed any rations, so now you're almost dead"

True story.

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>Players demand that hunting for game in the woods is handled with combat

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>>48812039
>be adventurer
>killing monsters all my life
>DM still makes me roll to kill monsters

dude, just skip to the eating and making camp

>>48812212
Could actually be fun, if you're hunting for exotic meats.
Could be really bothersome when you fail some mundane rolls and end up hungry and hunted.

>>48812196
That's why you confirm botches the same as crits

>>48812257
You think you're funny, but this is how WoW rpers often play. Their characters are ubercool warriors never seen outside of taverns, drinking, bragging, brooding or ERPing

>>48812318
Sounds pretty fun for everyone to essentially be Kvothe just telling each other about awesome stories

>character is a woodsy barbarian
>many ranks in survival
>keep hoping we get some campfire downtime so I can RP hunting for game and preparing a meal for the lads
>"Your characters hungry? Okay, the DMPC teleports in and casts a Heroes' Feast, you can continue adventuring!"

>>48812212
that usually comes from
>GM refuses to award xp for anything other than combat and couple linear "hard-scripted" quests

>>48812284
1/400 isn't actually much better.

>>48812344
It gets old real fast, trust me.

>>48812375 This is the sort of shit you directly talk with your referee out of game about.

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>one player counts his arrow supply of his own volition

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>>48812203
"Explain why you didn't inform me my character was hungry first, DM. There is no reason he wouldn't have felt mild hunger and mild weakness before he felt major starvation and extreme weakness. Well? Are you going to explain?"

Just stop everything and stick to this point and the beta will likely never bring it up again. Most DM's are cowardly garbage who just like being little tyrants anyway.

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>>48812039
>DM insists that everytime you go to take a piss your pc does as well

>>48812196

Jesus christ please don't post additional b8 in a b8 thread.

>>48812212

I like doing this, though.

> roll survival to find deer, rabbit, etc. based on how well you roll
> have a table for how many days of food each provides (per person)
> stealth check to sneak up
> ranged attack to hit
> if you hit, it dies, if you miss it runs away

Simple as fuck, and it gives the ranger an actual spotlight beyond being a subpar martial.

>>48812449
There's the old saying that slaves would be tyrants should they get the chance. Becoming DM is such a chance.

>>48812396
I had this talk.

>Hey, DM, my character is somewhat focused on Survival, so could I have a chance for a few relevant rolls? We're in the wilderness anyway, it could be fun
>......Ok, the orcs you're looking after left some tracks! Roll survival to see where they lead!
>Never ever comes up again

>>48812375

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT

> traveling with all-caster party
> get to camp
> decide to roleplay my ranger
> start looking for stream to catch fish
> "lol anon we have create water"
> wtf
> "well i'm finding tasty spring water and possibly mountain trout for us to eat"
> "we have rations"

Well there goes my fucking entire character. I don't mind being shit in combat, but when I don't get at least 5 minutes to enjoy RPing an outdoorsman when one player gets an ENTIRE session to himself going back and soloing a merchant who sold us out to bandits, it's time to stop playing D&D.

They don't even mark off their fucking rations. They have 3 days of rations each, and these rations have lasted them for AT LEAST 3 weeks of travel.

really the massive gold piece imbalance in D&D and lack of tracking weight (so you can't just carry 900 days of rations in your ass) is the biggest thing nerfing rangers anyway.

At least I can stealth. Although the one time I did go hunting the fucking sorcerer decided to follow me, we ran into a dire boar. I was 6th level at this point so a dire boar would be a tough fight alone. I hid in a tree with a 32 hide check, the sorcerer climbed a tree, then decided to start casting magic missile. Boar knocks down the tree after a couple rounds and starts attacking the sorcerer. I ended up at 1 hp (and about to die next round) saving this fucker, who proceeded to run away as I was saving him.

I hate spellcasters so fucking much.

>>48812524
> Campaign is about killing gods
> Be cleric with religion skill.
> It never comes up.

I'm still puzzled how did that even happen.

>>48812524

You gotta take initiative with this shit

> well I'm a ranger so i might know this
> well I'm a ranger so i am using survival to do this

It helps, trust me. DM has a lot to keep track of, out of game talks often get forgotten. Now if he starts cock blocking you to suck caster cock, it's time to get pissed.

>>48812475
>Jesus christ please don't post additional b8 in a b8 thread.
Not him but how is that bait? Just use a better system? The thread of critical failure is neat but in some circumstances it's a little odd.

>>48812475
>using 3+ consecutive rolls for a simple between-scenes action

Just how much do you hate your players?

>>48812039

>Playing 3.0 a few weeks after it came out
>Roll up a party with some friends
>We have, IIRC, (but it's been a long time) a fighter, a monk, a bard, a cleric, and a wizard
>Level 1
>We're in this city
>Get hired to take care of a problem in this village, a bit of a distance away
>We have 3 weeks worth of rations
>The long but easier route would have been to follow a river as it meanders.
>We, however, decide to cut straight across a loop through a forest, which would shave a day or two off of our journey
>Nobody has wilderness lore or survival
>We get lost
>Supplement our food once or twice from killing wilderness things like a bear at one point, but we're losing it faster than we replenish
>Fail every. Single. Roll. to become un-lost in the woods.
>Starve to death.

Next game, I made sure to play a ranger.

>>48812610
You're either baiting by pretending crit fails are a thing outside of really shitty houserules, or you're baiting because you're baiting by pretending you know what you're talking about when you obviously don't.

>>48812573
>"we have rations"
>"mmm, yes, salted meat you can't eat without soaking it first and old cheese you have to break with a hammer are much better than fresh game"
I mean ok, if you're just playing murderhoboes extraordinarie and the horrendous dungeon of murder you can just handwave and let your characters subsist off infinite rations, but if your campaign is RP-heavy that's just stupid

>>48812759
>go hunting
>instead of staying safely with your salted meat
it's like you've never been camping before

>>48812039
It's definitively a by-the-system/group situation.
Personally I like tracking gear and supplies and jury rigging solutions to hazards, and doing first-aid and rationing out food and shit like that. It makes adventuring feel like the undertaking it should be.
If you let your PCs travel by-foot an indefinite distance at impossible speeds just to skip around between plot-points you're being just as unreasonable, only in a different fashion.

>>48812460
That's just funny.

>>48812460
This is a good house rule.

>>48812664
> Part travels through the woods.
> The ranger Vasily, the only male party member, decides to show before the girls.
> Goes hunting for food.
> Rolls poorly, looses an hour. Rerolls.
> Vasily gets a string of incredibly bad luck and never rolls higher than six. Level 1, so not much for bonuses.
> He gets lost deep in the woods for an entire day.
> Even meets a wolf whom he instinctively shoots.
> Wolf gets an arrow piercing in his ear, looks pissed and hungry.
> Vasily realizes he's alone, tries animal handling.
> DM just gives him that look.
> He runs.
> Another string of incredibly bad rolls.
> Eventually he finds the party. Another two days later.
> The party is pissed and hungry, because we waited for him on the same spot the entire time.
> The next night, while we are sleeping, we are attacked by a pack of wolves.
> The alpha has an arrow in his ear.

>>48812460
>>48812845
I used to work assembly line. I can go longer without pissing than average citizen can without eating.

>>48812857
fucking kek

>>48812610

It's bait because it's not actually a 5% chance. Critical hits/fumbles have to be confirmed, altering the actual probability by a factor I can't be arsed to calculate because I am shit at math.

>>48812885
>Critical hits/fumbles have to be confirmed
[citation needed]
That's not in the book that's second most common houserule regarding nat1/nat20.

>>48812449
He replies: " When you didn't consume a single ration in three weeks."

>>48812885
Fumbles do nothing except for missing automatically in 3.5 and 5.

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>>48812422
>another PC says hes going to pick up an arrow that missed him
>DM replies that it doesn't matter

>>48812080
super kek

>>48812449
"I can't decide when your character feels hunger. That's just roleplay on your part which you failed to act on. I CAN tell you when the physical effects of malnurishment kick in though. So there you go."

If the player still complains, I privately uninvite him from the table after the session.

>>48812284
>>48812196
>>48812380
Botches aren't a thing for a reason.

>>48812318
>>48812344
Honestly I always kinda figured that was at least partialy becasue it's a pain to actualy RP durring missions in MMO's, either becasue stopping to type out emotes durring battles is suicide, or becasue "ah ha, another vile cultist slain, only 12 more to go!" would probaly get old even faster than the tavern stuff

>>48812039
>party ticks off rations per the day
>GM checks on occasion
>no-one falls over of starvation

My players actually do this on their own, but they like realism, so I guess it's fine. I'm usually okay with it if someone gives me a list of stuff they purchase for their travels (and the guy who makes these lists works them out really nicely, so I throw him a bone here and there for extra good RP) and then be done with it. If I feel like being a dick, well, they have x days of food but due to unforseen circumstances the journey is x+7 days.

>>48813251
Feeling hunger IS a physical effect though, whether I would choost to act on the physical sensation or decide to "tough it out" is where the roleplaying would come in.

>>48813446
It's also dependant on the person when and how they feel it. Plus, they should know on their own when i asl for a con saving throw at then end of the day for not eating or drinking that shit is getting counted

>>48813483
Do you tell the players what time it is?
I just auto-deduct rations when the players are traveling and tell them what time they're getting up at, when it's noon and when it's six when they're not traveling.
You gotta keep players on track as to how much in game time has passed if you're playing with rations or enforcing penalties for not sleeping.

>>48812677
botches exist in a lot of systems.

Those systems are not shitty house rules.

Ergo.... eat a dick.

If we're playing a story game, then I tend to focus purely on the story.

If we're playing D&D? You're damn right you have to eat food rations and sleep. If you go too long without, you're going to start taking penalties. You may even starve. You had better have lots of torches, too, and I'm going to be rolling for random encounters. If a hireling rolls really badly on morale, I'll roll to see if they start panicking in a way that draws wandering monsters.

Hell, if you go traipsing through the sewers or get stabbed with a rusty knife, you might slowly succumb to a disease, and I'll roll the save in secret behind the DM screen, or maybe even have a sheet with 100 d20 rolls I did before he session, so you don't even know I did anything. Then suddenly you start blowing chunks or the wound on your leg appears infected.

In my next campaign, I'm going to have troglodytes (who are immune to disease in my setting) who keep their stone spears tip-first in a barrel full of the festering blood and organs they don't like from the animals they eat, specifically to inflict diseases on those they wound and decrease the likelihood of an enemy they've beaten into retreating, ever returning.

I also keep track of arrows and bolts, and I make wizards tell me what spells they've prepared each day.

>>48813671
I also make female characters count their menstrual cycle.

It's realistic.

>>48813874
It's not fun, though, because there's nothing players can do to mitigate it. Everything I listed, the players can do something about.

>bring extra rations, hire someone who knows how to hunt if none of the PCs do
>consider carefully whether going into the sewers is worth it
>wear armor, don't fight unless you absolutely have to
>if you have any cuts, clean them as best as you can as soon as the fight is over
>treat hirelings well and have a high charisma character who can attempt to calm them down if they freak out

Note that none of mine have the solution of "don't adventure." The only solutions for female characters having their menstrual cycle is "don't adventure on those days," and that's a boring as fuck solution that removes the players from the adventure rather than immersing themselves in it.

>>48813952
The pill doesn't exist in your setting? Or any kind of contraceptive magic?

>>48814066
The pill doesn't. Magic to deal with it does. I suppose I could have female characters have to have magic used. However, some women have much lighter cycles than others, so players could just say "it sucks, but isn't severe enough to affect me mechanically" unless they actually want it to for whatever reason.

>>48812080
i want to do this, try to get a party cursed to never poop again to finish their quest before they die from getting filled up with poop.

>>48813251
So at this point it becomes Tag, Not-It-Forever for That GM and That Player.

>>48813001
It doesn't matter until it does. Beware of GMs that like to throw in twists like that and just track arrows for confirmations sake.

>>48812913
>>48812913
If you are using best edition, fumbles are an optional rule that requires a confirming roll.

I'm trying to do a campaign where the PCs escort a caravan across the desert (it's been delayed a couple weeks, but I have 4 players on board). They have to manage food and water and stuff for themselves, ~50 NPCs, plus animals.

This thread has me worried now. Any advice on how to make sure it's not un-fun?

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>>48812257
Damn right. Why just kill stuff when you can explore the more comfy side of adventuring

>>48814297
Just break their expendables down into days, rather than individual rations or units of water.

And actually, unless the caravan is ransacked or they're separated from it, they shouldn't have to worry about supplies--that's the quartermaster's job, not the job of some hired guards.

>>48814297
Have the players agreed to these things? If so, they'll likely enjoy it. It really depends on the players, and communication is ALWAYS key. What system?

>>48813874
>there's no doujin about an alpha bitch who controls her flock of players and protects them from the affection of other women by forcing any female characters to make menstrual cycle checks, and deal with it in-game
>this mostly works and keeps women out, but eventually one shows up with a period-sex fetish
>this doesn't exist

why live

>>48814836
Yeah they're all excited for it. It's 5e.
The campaign is meant to be sort of Oregon Trail like, so hardships are a must. If things start turning too catastrophic, I'm planning on just DMing them out of it instead of rolling dice and telling them they all die of thirst.
One idea that I had was that gradually more and more dopplegangers insert themselves into the group, and at some point the food starts noticeably not going as far, and then they notice that they've got half a dozen or more people than there are listed on the expedition manifest...

How frequent should I make encounters? And what kinds of encounters work well when the players have so many NPCs in tow?

>>48814297
Honestly? I would ignore anything /tg/ says. Most people here have never actually played a game, and most of them have a huge sense of entitlement where if you don't explicitly ask the player involved for their direct permission to harm their special snowflake character that they put all that "time" and "energy" into, you're a that guy for triggering them.

Honestly, that adventure sounds like fun and I would certainly play it.

>>48814297
Honestly talk to your players, and see if they would enjoy it, remember it is a cooperative game, so I would lean against adding a bunch of tedious book keeping aka managing food and water, especially if it is a caravan there should be an npc that has that job explicitly unless one of the pcs want it, he can just gives them a budget and an amount of time supplies would last.

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>>48812857

>>48814297
It shouldn't be much of a problem, make gaining food and water a big part of the game, keep a handy calculation ready to keep track of your total storage. (-55 rations per day -20 feed per day. Current storage: 795/320) etc.

Make at least some of the NPCs useful or interesting.

Most games have the PCs rolling in so much cash they could be a world superpower. Handwaving the pocket change of feeding yourself is not a big deal.

There's no reason to bog down a game that isn't survival oriented with minor details.

>>48816150
Newsflash: some people like that kind of stuff.

So piss off with your One True Way faggotry.

>>48816150

Sit down, Mr. Koebel.

>>48812039
>he doesn't require his players to calculate weight of equipment in grams
>he doesn't require his players to calculate dimensions of equipment down to one hundredth of a millimeter
>he doesn't have nutrition tables for 1000 of the most common foods readily available
>he doesn't require his players to calculate their exact daily intake of calories, fibers, minerals, water (in milliliters) and vitamins
>he doesn't require his players to calculate exactly how much energy they spend each day and force them to adapt their diet accordingly

casual as fuck

>>48816251
>So piss off with your One True Way faggotry.
>he says dismissing the "don't sweat the small stuff" method in favor of his own One True Way.

It's only bad when OTHER people do it!

>>48815504
>How frequent should I make encounters? And what kinds of encounters work well when the players have so many NPCs in tow?
How dangerous is this area supposed to be? How dangerous is the wilderness in general in your games? As to what the encounters should be, I'd recommend you take a moment and think about what sorts of things would actually think it's a good idea to attack a group of 50+ (presumably armed) humans (or elves, dwarves or whatever).

Having said that, I usually like to toss in some random encounters here and there that are not combat related. The PCs may hear something rustling in the bushes, but it's just a deer and nothing more, no tricks. I find this makes it easier for them not to metagame when it really is a monster, since they genuinely believe that it could be a monster, or it could be nothing.

>>48816587
Did I dismiss the permissive method? No, I didn't. I dismissed the opinion that the simulationist method had no appeal at all.

>>48816702
>I didn't d-dismiss it!
>I j-just threw a bitchfit becasue someone else had the audacity to like something I don't!

>>48816848
Other way around. I had the temerity to argue against someone dismissing something they didn't like.

>food rations
Rarely matters. Most adventurers are skilled in slaying demons and warrior generals and bodyguards and liches. The occasional deer is nothing, a typical PC could kill one blindfolded while wielding a bow with their feet.
System dependent, obviously this wouldn't fly in Torchbearer, but you don't complain that survival is hard in Torchbearer. But usually PCs rapidly raise to the level or above the level of normal ken, and hunting isn't that difficult (humanity survived on it for two hundred thousand years after all).

>sleep
Obviously matters. What is your character doing all night, and why the fuck would they not be sleeping? Almost every RPG I know has a rest system where sleeping replenishes resources at a necessary rate for basic functioning. In most games it would be a wonder why you would not want to sleep.

>>48817028
>What is your character doing all night, and why the fuck would they not be sleeping?
Don't you know? Rests are just something that happens to a person as they move down the corridor to the next combat. They don't take any time or anything that would get in the way of rolling more dice.

>>48816897
The post you replyed to started with "Most" thereby establishing the subject of the statment as his opinion of most games and not an objective statment right?

Further the end of it
>>"There's no reason to bog down a game that isn't survival oriented with minor details"
Any game that has the GM say "hey you're going have to actually track food and water" from the get go IS "survival oriented", so the only thing he's "dismissing" is GM's that spring that on the players out of nowhere for a cheap "gotcha!"

>>48812491
This guy gets it.

>>48812937
This doesn't even make sense. Who are you replying to?

>>48813251
Little Napoleon here proving my fucking point.

>If the player still complains, I privately uninvite him from the table after the session.

First of all, you never did this because to a man, DM's like you are cowardly trash. Your only method of dealing with confrontation is throwing a tantrum with quivering beneckbearded jowls. Screeching and table-flipping is more your speed, but this never happened.

Secondly, hunger is a physical sensation and if you're going to keep track of other nonessential systems you WILL keep track of them fairly.

Thirdly, if you're uninviting me from the table for this level of inanity, I'm uninviting you from this house, and any future sessions with the rest of the group in them.

Bye.

>>48817105
I have never had any GM ever treat rests so transiently, nor any player demand so. I've had precisely one campaign where the game equivalent minor-rest was accelerated so PCs only needed to stop and catch their breath in a safe zone for 5 minutes to be refreshed, but they still needed the major-rest for daily abilities.

>>48817105
I'm 99% sure you're actually trying to make fun of "old school" dungeon crawl gamers, aka "grognards," but as someone who plays mostly those kinds of games, you generally want to avoid combat, and you generally want to have someone keeping watch at all times. The need to sleep is yet another challenge, as well as an opportunity to roleplay (and in many cases those are one and the same).

>>48812039
Depends on the game, I'd say. If you're going for a game where survival is one of the primary aspects of the game, not requiring the players to eat food and sleep would be retarded. It would completely remove the point.

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>>48812039
>he actually starts a thread with a single line of greentext and a reaction image

>>48817227
You need to calibrate your sarcasm detector.

>>48817241
I was making fun the murderhobo types who only see the game as rolling dice for combat, not grognards. Hell, grognards would be more of a stickler for keeping track of shit.

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>sign on for a fun adventure in a fantasy setting
>get mundane camping simulation

>>48817531
>doesn't discuss anything
>doesn't communicate expectations
>gets what he doesn't want
It's your own fault.

>>48817531
>sign on for a game where we act like adventurers traveling through the wilderness for weeks, like in Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit
>it's always daytime and we don't have to eat, just like in Lord of the-- Wait.

>>48817531
>sign on for a high-magic game
>the GM/players/etc. will never stop complaining that casters are op

I love D&D

>>48816848
Go the fuck away, preteen.

>>48817557
It wasn't advertised as that let me tell you. And before I could voice my concerns the guy quit because of marital issues or some shit.

But still-- you can craft any kind of world and you decide to make a Tolkien clone setting and you make the adventure about traveling across boring landscape with barely anything interesting happening? What's with these people?

>>48817644
>What's with these people?
They're not inferior, like you are.

>>48812196
Not every game is D&D. Most aren't, in fact.

>>48812080
If all you're eating is rations, you'd be dead from constipation in three hours.

>>48817684
That isn't a rule in any edition of D&D of which I am aware.

>>48817837
A ration isn't a fixed thing, it could be any sort of foodstuff.

>>48814111
>Not using the pain to fuel your rage.

>>48817893
Anything that lasts for as your cross-country adventure trek is gonna have you shitting bricks, though.

>>48817644
"Keeping track of rations" is not equivalent to "nothing interesting happens."

>>48818199
But it's a fantasy game.

And before you get all contrarian like you fuckers already do, your simulationist sensibilities have you obsessing over the consistency of your sword and sorcery adventurer's shit consistency. Think really hard about what place that's taking in your tabletop game right now. The solidity of your character's stool taking center stage for any length of time in your session is asinine in almost every context.

>>48817684
It's only a house rule even in d&d.

>>48818199
Unless you fuck off into the wilderness for months at a time it's not that bad.

>>48818216
Who are you quoting

>>48818311
If I were gonna fuck off into the wilderness for months, and I had someone with Survival with me, I'd not buy rations, I'd buy certain goods like flour, salt, sugar, and spices. You'd be able to produce better food that way than by trying to improve rations.

>>48818248
You seem to have missed the fact that I was originally commenting on a joke post, and have not been taking part in any serious discussion.

>>48817684
Most games groups actually play are.

>>48819250
Not that anon, but there are, what, 9 versions of D&D? That would mean there are less than 18 games (including all 9 editions of D&D) that get played by groups.

That seems wrong.

>>48812460
>The Party forms ranks and prepares to do battle with the enemy upon the open field
>A shield wall is formed
>"Thallgrim, hold my shield."
>"Are you wounded?"
>"No, I'm taking a piss, but I'll be quick."

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>>48819510
>Not having your slave whip out your chopper and hold it while you piss instead of your shield
>It's like you want to weaken your spot in the Shieldwall

>>48819647

Yeah, but that's not as funny. Maybe the only thing funnier would be if he just turned around, warned the ranks behind him, and started pissing on the ground there.

I'm sure there's a Norse Saga or Celtic/Saxon equivalent somewhere wherein one of the heroes proves his bravery in the face of danger by wandering out of a skirmish to piss against a tree, then picks up his shield and axe and jumps back into the fray to lead his men to victory.

>>48819683
I wouldn't be surprised

>>48816350
Shit, now I want to play this game

>>48821945
You only think you do.

I'm all for survival elements, but there is a thing as going too far with it.

>>48812460
oh god one of our players has diabeetus and has to piss like every three minutes...
this could be hilarious

>>48812039
>not requesting a paratrooped chef to bring and cook your meals when you are "adventuring"
Do you RT?

>>48812375
>play a veteran soldier character
>have some ranks in survival
>hunt for food
>gm makes me hidden roll
>gm hidden rolls himself
>nobody wants to eat my delicious deer with mushrooms because it's too dangerous

>>48813251

Unless the player in question is playing a character that was previously inorganic (war-forged) then suddenly gained a human(oid) body through some weird fuckery later in the campaign, it doesn't make sense for them not to feel hungry and fucking eat something so that they're not hungry.

For christ sake, you wouldn't need to uninvite me from your table, I'd just fucking leave and run my own game for anyone who is interested.

>>48815497
You know what you must do, anon. Get good and draw it yourself.

>>48812196
https://youtu.be/huShFanAHcA

>Mastery precludes inexplicable fuck ups
Have you tried observing reality for a few minutes?

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>>48812259
>could be fun if hunting for exotic meats

>>48825205

Have you?

Because accidents are something that's rare, as in, happens maybe once in a blue moon and rarely leads to the type of catastrophic shit that a critical fumble leads to.

I mean fuck, going by D&D logic, the average person will trip and crack their skull open 5% of the time they decides to make one fucking step.

If you're fucking up 5% of the time, you're not a master, you're just some dude with a lot of experience in the subject.

>>48825205
It doesn't make fucking up impossible, but mastery does mean you've got much lower than a 5% chance of doing something utterly retarded like stabbing yourself in the foot, which is why I only ever do critical failures/successes on skill/attack checks in campaigns with a very silly atmosphere.

Watching Not!Legolas trip on nothing and bust his nose in the middle of a chase could break up the mood of a serious game very easily, but it's not as big a deal if your party wouldn't be out of place if they showed up in a comic like Looking For Group.

>the GM doesn't care about food, ammo, gold, sleep, anything
>doesn't allow players to die in combat

It's basically listening to a story at this point.

>>48825279
>>48825259
>There are DMs that flavor combat botches as the PCs incompetence as opposed to their enemy making a good play

Rather than you stabbing yourself in the neck like a retard, the other guy parries you and gives himself an opening.

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>>48825295
>>There are DMs that flavor combat botches as the PCs incompetence as opposed to their enemy making a good play

If you knew my party this would not surprise you.

>>48812781
>not going hunting or fishing when you camp
I think your camping may in fact not be

>>48821945

Nigga, if you really did then you should be in exceptional shape, because that's just real life.

>>48818248

>literally shitposting

>>48812573
Sounds like your group is just shit. I've played a monk and a gunslinger, both with good survival. My group was always happy when I would fish or go shoot a deer or something for them. Even if I didn't get enough for everyone, we would use the difference in rations and roleplay sharing the bounty of nature.

>>48818521
Flour gets fucked up by humidity real fast, Anon. It lasts for ages when dry, but what will you do when it starts raining?

>>48812677
Fumbles have been a part of D&D for ages though, Anon

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>>48825899
not him, but carry it in a sealed jar and hope nothing concussive hits my satchel

>>48812039
That's a reasonable reaction.

After all, I would only do it if I thought someone was failing to RP properly; if you forget the flavor of going days without sleep or meals, fine, I'll make you deal with the mechanics. If you're capable of RPing it without the mechanical ball and chain, I'll probably be a lot more forgiving.

>>48812449
>I can't decide when your character feels hunger.
But you can decide when my character feels the effects of hunger?
Get the fuck outta here ya veggie-brained faglord

>>48825214
Why is Dio blue-haired and dressed up as Goku while standing in front of a bunch of Naruto characters

>>48819683
In one of the stories of Thor, he came across a chasm. Upon attempting to transverse the chasm, an antagonistic woman popped up and pissed so hard she filled up the entire chasm, which Thor was now going to have to figure out a way to cross.

I don't recall how he did it, or who the woman was, or why he was on the quest, but I do recall a (possibly jötun) woman whizzing so hard and so voluminously as to fill a fucking valley with piss

>>48812857
this is fucking amazing

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>>48812857
>implying you're a grill

>>48815497
I need this in my life.

>>48826157
None of what you said makes the absolute shock that someone does it differently suggested by the OP image "a reasonable reaction."

>>48825132
>>48826667
IIRC commissions for whole doujin clock around $1000. On the flipside, they sometimes come with a cake.

>>48826394
Fucking Viking piss fetishists, trying to pull Thor into their magical realm.

>>48814126
Please keep your fetishes out of the game DM.

>>48826394
>the chasm-woman will only allow you to transverse if you agree to drink all her piss
>Dare you enter my Shamanist Saga?

3 words:
Standing up check.

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>he sets an arbitrarily high difficulty rating to do something mundane to increase tension

>>48813251
This is some expert shit because you have managed to actually make me think you sound like a total cunt in a bait thread. If this isn't bait then congrats, you sound like a cunt.

>>48828367
>implying that incrementing climb checks to chase a fleeing suspect up the cables of a suspension bridge isn't exciting

Sorry you had a shit GM

>>48828401
>implying I would disagree with your greentext sentiment

Thank you for your pity, though

>>48812039
>he actually requires his PCs to eat food rations and sleep
Oh you poor baby! Did the mean 'ol GM make you think hard? Does the baby need need a lollipop?!

>>48828295
Makes sense when you're trying to stand up from bed at morning.

>>48826039
If the GM isn't going for historical accuracy with what plants are in the fantasy world you might be able to get your hands on some rubber to make something a bit less breakable.

>>48828492
No, no, every single round. Doesn't matter how awake the character is.