That Guy

Jesus fucking Christ, OP. That's horrible.

Bump for interest

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Give me five on black

>>48666667
fug.

>>48665040
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXzEcwYs8Eo
That's awful. I hope the DM was okay.

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> Be 15-ish and really just now getting into tabletop RPGs.
> Usually play Heroes Unlimited, TMNT & Other Strangeness, Shadowrun, or other "modern" setting.
> Playing White Wolf's take on the Street Fighter video game.
> Be the forever GM.
> Group consists of primarily of close friends.
> We've taught ourselves how to tabletop w/o a mentor or higher-learned nerds.
> Friend suggests letting his 2nd-hand friend join our group for Street Fighter.
> 2nd-hand friend is named Jeremy (that guy).
> Have run for Jeremy before in Heroes Unlimited.
> Exhibits behaviors such as party splitting, PvP, and general instigating.
> Jeremy also has the habit of calling me on the phone to get private play sessions to work on his shitty plots.
> He's doing his usual thing in Street Fighter.
> Pits himself against other PCs in tournaments, starts fights between players, tries to join the "bad guys", etc.
> Jeremy eventually pushes the other PCs over the edge and they beat the shit out of his character.
> I figure what the hell - he's going to do it anyway, might as well even the odds.
> Shadaloo (the "bad guy" organization) takes Jeremy in. Gives him cybernetic upgrades.
> Jeremy is now a threat to be reckoned with.
> He enters a new Bloodsport-style underground tournament - again pitting himself against the other PCs.
> Wins every fight.
> Loves to stomp on the heads of fallen competitors once they're down.
> Final fight is one "good" PC vs Jeremy.
> Fight is close, but Jeremy pulls ahead near the end and puts the other PC in a stun.
> Instead of finishing off the PC, Jeremy begins to showboat around the ring.
> PC breaks out of stun.
> Lands hurricane kick on Jeremy's face.
> Stomps on Jeremy's head while he's down.
> Jeremy loses.

>>48667025
> I have a long standing rule (primarily because of Jeremy) that you can't re-roll unless your character is dead.
> Jeremy isn't dead. Character is in an indefinite coma.
> Flips his shit.
> Jeremy (the real life person) runs out to his car.
> Pop that trunk.
> Pulls out a machete and starts pacing around his car with his chest out.
> We're all inside watching from the living room - dying from laughter.
> Jeremy starts yelling shit about "Cuz" this and "Crab ass niggas" that.
> Oh, forgot to mention - Jeremy is a white kid who claims Crip.
> Eventually gets in his car and speeds off.

In hindsight, I totally could have been murdered.

>>48667033
>I totally could have been murdered.
no, you couldnt've

>>48665040
The older bro deserves a high five in the face with a chair, then a crowbar. Repeatedly.

>>48665040
Wow, fuck that guy. DM tries to be nice to his brother, and his brother blows up in his face. Clearly the brother is the one that should have been aborted.

>>48667854
Definitely, fucking hell.
Op, was the older bro always a selfish piece of shit?

>>48667033
>I have a long standing rule (primarily because of Jeremy) that you can't re-roll unless your character is dead.
>> Jeremy isn't dead. Character is in an indefinite coma.

N bro, you where the That Guy.

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>>48665040

>>48665040
I have probable the pinnacle of "That Guy." All of the following are true and came from one guy.

>Creates special zany characters and gets upset when I veto them. This especially comes into play when he comes up with a new character and tries to kill his old one so he can play his new one
>Goes on "zany" adventures that just end up taking up a lot of time
>Gets upset when he perceives that the homebrew concessions I let him have aren't powerful enough when the alternative is to not have them at all
>Whenever he speaks in his character's voice, no matter which character, all he starts doing is some weird slow whisper that's really hard to understand
>Makes terrible decisions all the time and justifies it as "it's what my character would do" even when it clearly is not
>He interrupts. All the time. When I'm trying to answer somebody's question, he jumps up with his own question and demands it answered immediately. When I'm trying to describe a room he'll interrupt with another question about the room that he would have gotten the answer to if he waited another 5 seconds (this isn't a case of him trying to expand on a detail, this is him asking completely unrelated things about the room, like asking if he can find a trapdoor while I'm still detailing the contents of the room). He interrupts with his own actions while I'm still narrating someone else's actions. A particularly egregious example is when I was narrating a touching scene where the party druid was helping the survivors of a destroyed fishing town make rafts so they can do their viking funeral and midway he just yells out "OH I BLESS THE BODIES."

>>48668139
>He adjudicates other people's actions when that's meant to be my job and ends up just creating confusion. Like he tells the rogue she has sneak attack when she actually doesn't, just tells people they have advantage on ability checks because he's helping them when he actually can't etc. Sometimes he'll "remind" people of abilities they don't actually have like telling the Tiefling she's immune to fear effects.
>He min maxes so hard that he actually min maxes other peoples turns for them. He tells people what actions to take so that he can combo off them later.
>He never pays attention when it's anything not concerning him. Even though he's probably the one who gets the most solo attention due to all his "zany" bullshit adventures, he never pays attention when its anyone else who is getting focused on. Not only does he not pay attention, he brings out his phone and starts looking up literal memes and starts showing it to the other players and distracting them. Sometimes he does this at critical plot points or in very emotional moments in the story
>Even though the party is pretty large (8 players) and he causes half my distractions, he gets visibly angry when I forget something he says and ask him to repeat himself. Like he'll act incredibly indignant as if he can't believe that anyone could space out for a second and forget what he said his attack roll was
>Despite not actually reading the rules, he tries to rules lawyer really hard in order to convince me to let him do certain things that he obviously should not be able to do
>Not only that but he refers to random online homebrews as his sources such as telling me how much damage a butterfly sword should do

>>48668146
>Accuses me of railroading at every opportunity despite very clear evidence to the contrary
>If even one character goes down during a fight he protests very loudly that I'm just trying to cause a TPK for my own amusement
>Thinks that my job as DM is to essentially just let him do anything he wants and that he should be able to roll for anything and theoretically succeed at anything if he rolls high enough
>Whenever a player is missing for a session I just make their character go into a form of stasis for the session. He interprets this to mean he can take their equipment and use it as he sees fit, up to and including single use items
>He hoards all the loot and insists he deserves it more. He's been arguing with the party book loving wizard for the past two sessions about why he deserves to read the charisma raising book more than the wizard does
>He metagames all the time. As soon as I say a monsters name he looks it up in the monster manual to prepare for it. This creates bigger problems when I homebrew and upgrade certain monsters to suit the party level and he throws a hissy fit when a certain monster shouldn't be able to do that much damage or has higher AC than the manual says it should
>He seems to think that the game is me vs my players. To that end it takes forever to get anything done because he always assumes I’m about to kill one of the players or an NPC ally. For example in the latest session, it took 20 minutes for me to get an NPC to just walk outside his house because That Guy kept insisting (for no good in game reason) that the NPC would die as soon as they left the safety of their house.
>Despite the fact that we're in a homebrew setting, he insists on using knowledge of race relations from the Forgotten Realms as the basis for his in game knowledge despite my repeated reminders that they've been changed for the setting

>>48668150
>Never talks to people. He just starts attacking them if they show the slightest hint of being suspicious, even though due to the nature of the campaign and the actions of the party, everyone they talk to is at least a little suspicious
>He plays his own music when he does something he thinks is funny or cool
>Tries to tell me what I should put in my NPC's backstories (most of the time it's some stupid pop culture reference) then gets defensive when I say no
>Flipped the fuck out when I forgot his character token for one session (a generic Drow picture) and used a different token (a different generic Drow picture)

If you're wondering why he's still in the group, its because he's the boyfriend of one of my best players and his hated presence serves as a sort of bonding experience for the rest of the group.

>>48668157
What does his girlfriend/boyfriend think about all of this? And have you ever talked to him about this shit?

>>48668650
She's really good about it and is usually the one to tell him to shut up.

>>48666722
He was after a while.
>>48667025
>>48667033
Truly Jeremy is neither the hero we deserve, nor the one we need right now.
>>48667910
I have no idea. I only met his brother the one time. Like I said, the DM and I were on that cusp between acquaintance and friend, and his brother wasn't around much. That said, since then he's mentioned his brother is in therapy so it could be some serious issues he needs to work through.
>>48668157
Holy shit. Have you ever spent time with him out of game? Is he better? Have you asked his girlfriend/boyfriend whether he's more chill when not playing RPGs?

>>48668814
>Holy shit. Have you ever spent time with him out of game? Is he better? Have you asked his girlfriend/boyfriend whether he's more chill when not playing RPGs?

Nah he's still pretty annoying out of game. He has a whole host of OOG behaviour that annoys me as well.

One thing that weirds me out about him is how handsy he is with every girl he knows. I once saw him spooning some random chick right in front of his girlfriend. It actually took me several months to realise that my player was even his girlfriend because he was so touchy touchy with every other girl I saw him with.

Not exactly the standard that guy, but I used to play at a local club was stuck playing with a crazed feminists for a few months; 30~ish overweight male. He would always play as female characters, allegories for contemporary feminist issues. It was obnoxious, but I didn't think much of it; a few in character rants, out of characters suggestions to the DM along the lines of "I know it's not intentional, but this is triggering".

We were starting a new campaign, based in a megacity. The premise was that we'd meet each other with some pre-existing knowledge through rumors/reputation. We gave a summary of our characters. All's well, but then one of the players cut off the feminist with a joking presumption of the feminists modular characters/backstories.

After some shouting he left and we closed the game, decided to meld in with the board game part of the club. We talked about what happened and were pretty conflicted; he was offended, but it was just a joke. The player said he would apologise, so we put it behind us.

Then the player was arrested because of rape charges by the feminist player, and we were all questioned because he had supposedly disclosed his crimes to us prior.

>>48665040

I began to make a simple OSR campaig, using B/X. It's been a while since I make DM, so I wanted simple, just for had some fun sesions. FEw misteries, few monster, a lots of laugh. But one of my players insist that the rules are old and not good, so he demands more. He don't ask, he says if we don't change rules, he leave. I'd said OK, we are short of players and I don't want to start a fight. I change to BRP, then to 3.5. After a fer sessions THAT GUY leaves the table with no explanation more that "the game need more players to be balanced". He ruined all.

>>48668959
And he got arrested or fined for false rape allegations right?

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I played a supernatural adventure using BRP. The players are a group of homicide detectives from nypd. Slowly they comfront supernatural horrors trying to solve a murder case. They don't know exactly what is happens, I manage to show them only glimpses of the actual horror. One of the players (male) had a female character, an homicide detective with bad manners. He plays well and he don't interfere with other characters so I let him play it. But one of my players it's a, well let's say it'a a radical equal-social-defender, and demands that the player with the female detective had to make a new one because it's offensive. I talk to both players. The female detective player was never a racist/misogenic guy, so I try to explain it to THAT GUY. I say: calm down mate, this is like a movie. He shouts that we are all a bunch of retarded idiots and that my work as the keeper is to prevent that. The female detective player tells him "don't worry mate, I make another one, I could be a forensic guy if you want". But THAT GUY says the damage is done, and just like that, he never appears again.

>>48668959
Is this real? Please tell me this is just a funpost

>>48668868
That's odd. I have a few female friends I may hug hello/goodbye, but that sounds pretty fucking excessive. She didn't seem bothered? Maybe it's some kind of an open thing?
>>48668959
>be a hardcore feminist, anti-racist, etc.
>it has never come up in-game, ever
>has only come up out-of-game at gaming sessions in passing
It's so bizarre to me that people have stories like this all the time. No doubt some of them are made up, but I have to think some are true, and it just bewilders me.
>>48669052
That sounds more like the guy who freaked out was kind of sexist. Like, what, women have to be all polite all the goddamn time or you get salty?

>>48669100
I could asure you that the guy was a moron. None of us are the sexist/racist type. But THAT guy is a radical one, he believes it's a equality "knight in armor", but it's just a radical moron. We try to explain it in every possible way, but was futile...

>>48668959
While I am myself broadly sympathetic to feminist ideas so long as they're fairly liberal, I find there's something just a bit... disingenuous? about a guy claiming to be a feminist. Like the guys I know who self-describe as such seem to be doing it for brownie points?

Anyway, did the feminist guy allege that your player had raped him, or a third party?

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My cousin wants to play again with his old group, after a lot of years without playing. They are all deeep Ravenloft-fans, and they want to continue an abandoned campaign, last played 10y ago. The DM is one of the closest friend my cousin had, same school class and neighbour. They almost 30 when the continue the campaign, still using the old AD&D set. Cause of work and so, the play once a month, in my cousin's friend house. After a few sessions my cousin's friends let the group knew that he's engaged and will marry soon, but the could keep playing as usual. Next week he just send an email saying that the party is over and that he will never play again. He don't answer any phone call or email, so my cousin go to his house to see what is wrong with him. His friend told him no to come to his house again. After some "exchange of word" his friend confess that his future wife don't want him to had this "kind of activities", and that his friends are "not the kind of people for him". So he close the door, leaving his best without a word...

>>48669214
Jesus Christ.

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>>48668088
>was expecting GoT mary sue bashing
>got party of Those Guys

wew lad

>>48669232
I swear it's a true history :(

>>48669214
Usually stories posted in such thread make me feel angry/righteously indignated. This one made me feel very sad.

>>48669214
Ah, something similar happened to my group once.

Anybody got that thread with the That Guy paladin and the DM who just goes along with him, where the That Guy is implied to have raped a Drow prisoner, and the storyteller's character is also a paladin who smites him and then he storms out?

>>48667033
> I have a long standing rule (primarily because of Jeremy) that you can't re-roll unless your character is dead.
> Jeremy isn't dead. Character is in an indefinite coma.

That Guy v. That DM

FIGHT!

>>48669277
In this world some people (men and women) are control freaks. Being a partner is to let the other one make some things maybe she/he don't like, but this don't says are BAD things, only hobbies they don't like. My friends don't had to be his/her friends and viceversa....

>>48669311
We know, anon. I'm truly sorry.

>>48669302
I disagree. DM gave Jeremy every chance to win and Jeremy blew it himself.
And if that was a preestablished rule that all players had to abide to, not just Jeremy, then breaking it for his dumb sake is worse in my book.

>>48669311
You don't have to let that slide though.
You're partners, not master and slave.

>>48669363
Abusing the rule like the DM did is what is wrong, not the rule itself (though the rule is stupid as fuck). Don't be a passive aggressive twat and "rule" someone can't play as anything other than a vegetable. Just tell them they aren't welcome.

>>48669390
How is following the rule abusing it?

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I knew a guy who was banned from a lot of stores because he only wants to play with younger guys. And younger means youuuunger (10-15y).He often brings drinks and food to anyone. Had an obsession that any player (all male, of course) had to detail how strong and musculate are their character. After being banned from the stores some friend told me that he tries to get a group via advertisement in local papers, but someone recognize him, set him a trap and beat him hard.

>>48669363
>>48669400
I think the point of the argument is that the DM decided to make him a vegetable, thereby not allowing him to play anymore, when he could've just as well said that the character was dead.

That really boils down to the DM not wanting him to play anymore.

>>48669419
>I think the point of the argument is that the DM decided to make him a vegetable, thereby not allowing him to play anymore, when he could've just as well said that the character was dead.

That depends on the system, really. If the outcome of the character being a vegetable was determined by the system rules then it's one thing, but if it was DM's arbitrary decision then it's another.

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>playing retro D&D
>DM throws a small group of succubi at our all-male party
>most everyone fails saving throws versus enchantment and willingly follows the succubi to their doom
>I claim to be immune to the enemy's influence since my character doesn't swing that way
>DM is fine with this
>most everybody else is fine with this, especially since I'm the only cleric on hand (and with resurrection)
>another player accuses me of making shit up on the spot to avoid sharing his character's fate
>I insist this is a character attribute I decided upon in advance because I wanted to roleplay my own orientation (although this was incidentally the first time the subject ever came up, including my in-real-life orientation)
>other player goes on a tangent about PCness in gaming
>says he respects my "choice" to be who I am, but that it has no place in D&D
>DM and other players calmly attempt to reason with him, but he complains we're ganging up on him and trying to silence his opinion, then he walks away from the table

No one said he wasn't entitled to his opinion; he was just disrupting the game for everybody else, especially by trying to force me to roleplay around his sensitivities when the DM already ruled that my character could swing whatever way I wanted.

He also had no objections to other guys in the group roleplaying their lesbian waifus in a previous campaign.

>>48669477
The homophobia is real. Not defending that asshole, but I usually ask if gay stuff is okay when the group assembles for character creation. Even if I don't intend to make my character homosexual, I find it's a good barometer for who's going to be a shithead right off the bat. (Homophobic or CREEPILY INTO IT)

>>48669477
What an asshole. As if you'd pretend to be a sexual orientation you weren't IRL in order to have your character get away or something.

Also, even if you literally just told him to leave, that wouldn't be trying to silence his opinion. It would just be refusing to listen to it yourselves.

You should've, by the way.

That said, do the rules say female characters are immune to succubi? I'm curious if people who aren't into women are supposed to be immune, or if it's enough of a magical effect that they just radiate pure, androgynous SEX like a neon sign despite their female forms.

>>48669477
Just gonna note that Succubi work on Enchantress rules and that she would have seduced your male character even if he was omramngaldsgolorbfulsexual.

Just sayin, the whole group was pandering to you, except for that one guy, even though he was doing it for the wrong reasons.

>>48669446
I can't think of many systems that rule your character goes into a coma (and I can't think of many reasons for keeping a "you can't reroll unless you actually die" rule when playing such a system), and I'm not about to check the SF RPG op mentioned he was playing.

>>48669556
They may have just figured that it's super-enhanced regular seduction rather than purely enchantment. Old school D&D does a lot on DM fiat, and when the DM said "it doesn't affect you," that should have been it.

>>48668157
Dude is definitely a bit of a tard.

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A lot of years ago one of my friends played in a group who has a guy playing a paladin, a champion of some God of the Light. THAT GUY wants to send a message to all demonic creatures and monsters, "'cause they are abominations that are meant to exist in the world·. He had a "divine mission", and had to send a message to all the "impure creatures". Everytime he kills an enemy (and believe me, doesn't matter if they are a thief or a dragon...), he had to cut the dick and the balls of the enemy and put it in the victim's mouth, as a warning message of the purity of the God of the Light. The curious thing it's that he was a lawful good character. That kind of action only amuses the DM, a narcissist guy who believes was the supreme King of DMs. The rest of the group, including my friend, leave the two of them alone and never played with them again...

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During last OSR campaign beeing the DM, the player who is the cleric, a disciple of the Godess of Mercy, after a battle he slays in cold blood all the orcs thar are left in the ground, defeated, but alive. When I ask him why, i just says "They are monstars, abominations of the nature and must be eliminated". I shout him "Dude, you are a fucking nazi!". He only simple says "It's God's will".

>>48667025
>Jeremy also has the habit of calling me on the phone to get private play sessions to work on his shitty plots
If you cut out the whole 'shithead' context this could be pretty cool.

>>48669214
That marriage probably won't last. One of my best friends was in a similar marriage a few years ago. Made it 2 years before they divorced. It's just too stressful on the person who is being forced out of their normal lifestyle & away from their friends. People are social beings, and limiting their ability to socially interact is a good way to quickly ramp their stress levels through the roof.

>>48665040
>things that have never happened

>playing a vitalist with a group of friends in Pathfinder, some of which are new to DnD
>that guy playing a 12 year old female dwarf fighter or some shit
>escorting some little girl trying to find her family
>come to an area in a cave with an underwater tunnel
>the room before the underwater tunnel is filled with corpses
>I stay behind to inspect them, rest of the party goes up to inspect the water
>giant crocogator in the water
>that guy throws a corpse into the water, croc grabs it and swims off
>I find a magical cloak on a corpse, failed at identifying it
>decide to NOT immediately equip it because it might be cursed and because I'm a healer and understand corpses are full of nastyass bacteria
>that guy, who is not even in the same room, immediately makes his character turn around and demand the cloak
>I say no, trying to RP the "it might be cursed/it's gross and needs to be washed" healer that I was
>pulls his weapon on me and keeps demanding it
>half of the party demands I give it to him
>he puts it on in the hopes it boosts his swimming abilities or lets him breathe underwater
>jumps into the water, nothing happens
>he gets out, throws the little girl into the water
>apparently I'm the only character that's not a psychopath, so I jump in with my lizardfolk boosted swim and save her from drowning
>upon realizing I have a good swim skill, that guy demands I jump in and swim down the tunnel
>send my psicrystal down instead, it tells us that the tunnel continues on for a while until you'd reach air, basically if you couldn't breathe underwater you'd drown
>that guy and couple others get mad at me for not swimming down the tunnel despite my relaying this information
>says I'm contributing nothing to the group (apparently highest perception and preventing nearly all damage is useless)
>DM later tells me he wish he had made the cloak cursed because of this

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When I begun to play, one of my friends had a "main character syndrome" He had to be the best, he had to be the party leader, he must decide what wil be the course of action... and he's the first one in create problems for the party. One time, traped in a dragon lair, he found a secret door, and close it before any of us could escape. That night the dragon had a great dinner: angry roasted PC's

>>48669787

You better stay out of that group. Find another one, for your own safety

>>48669821

The DM was running two parties in the same setting, we all knew each other but had too many for one group so we split. After one more session with that group, I joined the other group.

When they heard about it, they immediately told me to swap, but I said I'd give the other group one more chance like a moron...

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One of my friends was a great DM. He's always mastering, making great adventures, playing a lot of games, with great support stuff (fake diaries, notes, props,...). Suddenly he beguns to lost interest, he says is tired of playing. But he continues to buy stuff, almost all indie games. We say, ok, we can try that new stuff. Maybe the games are a little "strange" for us (games without dices, without dm, strange game mechanics...), but as a group of friends we could try, because after all, we want to had fun and play it's only the way to had a good time. He llok and us and say "You aren't prepared, you are pathetic junkies that only want to had your weekly session. You aren't worthy". I believe we had a case of ·hipster DM" (no offense to hipsters).

Maybe I'm That Guy in this situation, but in our last game I was holding my own in a fight against one of two monsters, while the two other party members were struggling against the second one.One of the two PCs only had single-digit hp left, and thus the hand-waving commenced.

It's our only 4e campaign still, so the druid used some shitty encounter power that dealt damage and let the ranger make an attack (I'm a rogue). Of course he missed, but for some reason they all thought that using their action points meant that they could just reroll anything, and boom the druid's attack hit. Then the ranger makes his attack, and misses, and does the same thing, action point to reroll a fucking free action/reation/whatever basic melee attack, hits, and kills the enemy that's been bothering him and the druid. Then it's actually his turn, and he killsteals (not really, it still feels wrong) the monster I've been taking care of.

This in itself isn't too bad, but the way they pat eachother on the back for blatantly breaking the rules an being all "badass". It's not that I'm some asshole who refuses to let other people shine, cause if the same happened to me I'd be equally pissed. I told them afterwards that action points aren't inspiration, but I didn't tell them how pissed I was cause I'd rather just let them have fun. Fuck it.

>>48669214
You're spelling is atrocious and I don't believe your story because of it.

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Back in the days we used to play LARPGs, usually WoD or Cyberpunk/Shadowrun type. We had plastic guns and so, but one of my friends had some good metal replicas. His stepbrother was a dealer and a crack addict, he uses his brothers handgun to rob some liquor store at gunpoint. He was lucky no one noticed the gun is a prop. Finally the police arrest him and at the present time he's serving a long sentence.

>>48670070

My english is bad but my story is true :/

>>48670070

It's fun, why you supose that all the people are from english countries?

I had a lot of stories, all of them true ones, but if you THAT GUY and don't like my spelling...

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>>48665040
I like these threads.

Makes me happy that I don't have such shitstains in my group.

I had two "that guys" in my campaign. A boyfriend/girlfriend couple. This is my first time (and only time) playing with them. The girlfriend roles a lawful good Cleric, who's a life Cleric. The boyfriend roles a Chaotic Evil rogue, in an all-good party. Things went downhill literally from the first session. Despite having completely different alignments, the girlfriend agreed with EVERYTHING her boyfriends character did, and even tried to fight our bard when he pointed out how her character was breaking her morals by agreeing with him. A couple sessions in, the Bard finds a valuable gem, that he puts in his hip pouch, and moves along with his business. The rogue asks me privately if he can attempt to steal the gem, I said yes and told him how. He succeeded, and I told the bard to remove the gem from his inventory, he did so without question.

Then this rogue decided he was going to SELL the gem. In front of the party. In front of the Bard. The three PC's who weren't his girlfriend are now arguing with him, and suggesting ways to kill his character to each other. He responded by saying "but the DM let me steal it!" and his girlfriend backs him up by saying something along the lines of "yeah, so you cant do this stuff to him". I responded by saying "I let you perform an action, and there's consequences to said action. I'm not going to stop those consequences because you made a bad decision." The party successfully knocked his girlfriend unconscious, and hung his character until dead. The session ended, I told the rogue to make a new character.

Later, I got a fucking 5 paragraph rant from his girlfriend about how I shouldn't have done what I did and let the party kill him. About how I'm an awful DM and the game isn't fun to play. She ended the rant by saying that she and her boyfriend are dropping from the campaign.

My worst DND experience ever, but looking around this thread it seems not so bad.

>>48669725
this is That Guy thread, not That GM

>>48670253
>worst experience
>two shitlords removed from game before they can really ruin everyone's fun

That doesn't seem like it was too bad.

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Before game, these two retards in the group were arguing about who's character would beat who's in a pvp fight in game. A mage and some kinda rogue gunslinger guy from this steampunk setting we were playing. Then, during game, the party finds a magic hat that makes whoever tries to wear it take a fort save.
The mage tries to get random people to try it on, they won't because he's a creepy wizard, he ends up paying some guy a gold to try it on and the guy dies and turns into a copy of the monster we got the hat from.
We kill the monster and get the hat again, then put it somewhere safe.
After all that, a guy who's character had been in his room during that whole scene says "I go upstairs to where the hat murder was"
Gm asks him "what hat murder? you don't know any of that happened"
That guy: "I just go upstairs to there there."
GM: "Why"
TG: "I just wanna"
GM: "Okay, you're up there now."
TG "I ask if there have been any crimes committed lately"
Everyone in the group: "What the fuck man are you serious"
GM: "Why would you ask that man you don't know anything about anything that happened you were downstairs the whole time"
TG "I ask if any current events have happened lately"
GM "Fine, you know about the hat murder now"
TG "Okay, I wait until we all meet up for dinner and sneak attack the mage. I have to attack him because I'm chaotic good and I want to bring him to justice for the hat murder. That's just what my character would do."

Like two sessions after that, the GM of that campaign made steampunk TF2 characters show up in the game, so we all quit.

>>48670293
>unironic use of shitlord
Bad fucking form, man. God damn. You know they have suicide assistance forums on reddit, you should check them out.

>That one guy who whines about how unnatural it is for male and female characters to have identical stats.
>That one guy who plays an alt-right 'paladin.' *
>That one guy who can't shut up about conspiracy shit immediately before and after campaigns.

* The character was a foaming-at-the-mouth fundamentalist who wanted to hunt down NPCs based on their political leanings or gender identity. The GM demoted him to illustrate that this type of behavior is not consistent with a paladin's ethos, then the guy walked away from the group and thankfully never returned.

I think he plays WarHammer now.

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There was a time when we stop playing, for a lot of reasons. When Pathfinder was published we wanted to play again, try the new game and see how good/bad could be. One of the players tells the group that his wife wants to play with us. She never played (only Warcraft and MMOs). Everyone was happy to had a newbie around. We try to be very polite, not harassing with lot of rules and trying to make her comfortable...

Worst sessions ever played in my life. She was the "hack and slash" type. She believes that every npc in the game are enemies that had to be exterminated. Never tries to play her character, only wnats to kill, kill, and kill...

We tried to explain her the difference between MMOs and rpgs. Not in the bad way, only that rpgs are more interpretative...

She said "fuck all of you, you pussys that haven't any GF's..." (not true actually...)

So the DM, one player and me grab our things and never return to that table.

I played before with newbies (male and female). Never had problems until that day.

>>48670293
Yeah, it really wasnt so bad. Gave the campaign a bad taste afterwards, since a bunch of good-aligned characters hanged someone they probably didnt need to kill.

>>48669725
But orcs are canonically always evil in so many different settings it's reasonable to kill orcs whenever you can.

>>48670765
maybe they're playing a setting that isn't total garbage for roleplaying

>>48670111
>>48670087
Two responses for one post, both claiming to be retard anon. Confirmed fake.

>>48670765
Cut the throats of the fallen ones isn't not appropiate for a Lawful Good character >__<

>>48670765
>orcs are canonically always evil in so many different settings it's reasonable to kill orcs whenever you can
How would the PCs know that orcs are always evil in OTHER settings?

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>>48669477
The dubs might be on your side, but I still disagree with you. A succubus is a demon of lust, that can shapechange and also use illusions to lure it's victims into it's trap. What I mean to say with this is: the charm spell should've affected you like it should've anyone else.

If you fail your will save, you are done, capisce?

It doesn't have to get magical realm because GMs should -usually- have the presence of mind to fade to black. But seriously, this should be a non-issue, since succubi -should- be able to glamour themselves to look like the (wo)man of anybody's dreams and be able to shapechange accordingly too.

So, if that demon had taken your character to a room for intercourse, it would've just transformed into it's male version, an incubus. If you had had a GM that was worth his salt and did his research, then you wouldn't have single-handedly won that encounter. No, anon: You are That Guy. And while the person you've been ranting about was not right in attacking you or anyone else of the group, what he said had -some- merit.

>>48670801
>But (Bullshit moral reasoning) means you're all evil for killing the Orc raiding party!
I'd rather not.

>>48670843
>No, anon: You are That Guy
So, wait. If the whole party and the DM think a thing works a certain way and is mistaken, then anon is That Guy for being among those who are mistaken?

ALSO, see >>48669572 and realize the DM makes the setting and the decisions. If the DM says the succubi only work on people who want to bang women, then that's how they work.

Presumably the PCs had never seen succubi before. That means any knowledge the players have about how they work is from OOC, so they shouldn't get pissed if the DM renders that OOC knowledge useless.

Are you the kind of asshole who pulls out the monster manual and reads about how to kill things, then gets mad if they aren't exactly the same in this campaign? If not, then it's absurd for you to call anon That Guy. If so, then you are That Guy.

>>48670376
>b'awwww

I kek'd

>>48670881
what the fuck are you even talking about, he was killing helpless prisoners. That's an evil act assuming you aren't in a terrible setting where specific races are inherently evil

>>48670815
>Of fallen EVIL ORCS
That's a paladin's smite if he DOESNT.

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>>48670882
>let's take the demon that is the pinnacle of one of the deadly sins (lust) and make it completely useless against all (wo)men who aren't into women

Okay man, it's your setting. Your rules. But if you do this, then you have shit taste: just wanted to inform you.

>>48669516
>Join a new group, had played Magic with them, but never DnD
>It's not DnD
>It's Hackmaster
>Build a Dwarf Rogue
>Basically child slave, sold to one of the characters
>Players end up in a bar called "The Pink Unicorn"
>Ask the barkeep if he has any jobs for a man of my talents
>"I have very skilled hands."
>Get sent to room 16
>Told to "take care of" the men inside
>Burst through the window with my axe, rolling to cut the first one I see
>Botch throwing my axe across the room
>Inside are 12 guys
>They're all oiled up, hairy, and bearded
>"What's going on?"
>They advance towards me
>"This is a Dwarven mating ritual, I was sent by the barkeep."
>Dwarf proceeds to squint really hard so that they look like really tall Dwarven women
>Cut their throats in their sleep
>Make it to level 2 off the solo exp

>>48671013

Some people believes that kind of ideas in the play table are funny.. Personally I think that are just sick fantasies from a mentally disrupted mind.

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>>48670882
>DM makes the setting and the decisions. If the DM says the succubi only work on people who want to bang women, then that's how they work.
>making only one character of the team immune to encounter monsters because reasons
This means DM is piece of shit

>>48671006
Yeah, I agree. I'm just saying it doesn't make the player That Guy.
>>48671135
This, I don't necessarily agree with. Old school D&D was about immersion in this horrifying dungeon. Say there's a dungeon in a place that was only inhabited by humans and elves, and there's a trap there that goes for the neck. Dwarves and halflings don't have to worry about it.

Also, in this particular instance literally everyone was fine with it except the one guy who evidently had a problem with a PC being gay at all.

I mean, if I were the DM I would've said "it's magic, and you're still affected by it." But I would've also told that other player to go fuck himself if he has a problem with the gay player.

>>48671194
>Yeah, I agree. I'm just saying it doesn't make the player That Guy.
I'm not disputing that.

>I mean, if I were the DM I would've said "it's magic, and you're still affected by it."
This is good

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>>48671194
>Say there's a dungeon in a place that was only inhabited by humans and elves, and there's a trap there that goes for the neck. Dwarves and halflings don't have to worry about it.
Your character was not a female, so being gay shouldn't protect him from succubus

>>48669477
why your character wasn't stoned in those dark times?

>>48671272
Did you read the whole post? I said I would have made it affect him.
>>48671283
Not that anon, but he didn't say "my character comes out as gay and throws a PRIDE parade." he said "my character isn't into women." It could be a secret. Also, it's a myth that gay people were literally always stoned in the middle ages. It was frowned upon, sure, but not USUALLY something for which people were killed.

I would just say that among the nobility, nobody would say anything as long as you kept up the appearance of trying to keep it secret, and among adventurers, most people don't give a shit because, I mean, you're already a bunch of people society doesn't trust or like, so what's one more thing they find weird about you?

>>48671272
Why would being female keep them from seducing you?

>>48671283
>being this naive
In many ancient cultures homosexuality was not only accepted, but considered normal. Nevermind the fact that these are made up worlds, where we don't have to take our own current or historical social stigmas and place them on the society of that world.

>>48671341
because someone needs to seduce party members back

>>48671283
>why your character wasn't stoned in those dark times?

They didn't have weed.

>>48670927
>Helpless
I don't know about you, but giant buy green humanoids covered in muscle are not helpless, just incapacitated at the current moment.

>>48671371
Yeah but lesbians

>>48665040
>OSR fanboy tells us what he thinks 3.5 players are like

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>>48671451
>but lesbians
stone them too

Anyone ever get the players that want a weird magic item at level one? For example, one of my friends wanted to have a handful of pebbles or something like that. He'd throw them up and roll a dice, the die result was the amount he caught and therefore the weapon he got for the encounter.

Shit was stupid, I said no obviously.

>>48665040
Fairly normal compared to some of the specimens described here, but all man this guy was a fucking prick.
>be 17-18
>last year of high school
>everyone still treats me like shit and I got a bordeline C-GPA, but whatevs that's life
>thought I was a fuckup but then... I met Franklin
>wait, inaccurate. Me and Franklin were "friends" in elementary school but he literally disappeared in the third grade
>yeah, first time seeing him was like seeing a old friend
>in retrospect I should've kept my distance but I'm forgetting myself
>Franklin is a short, chunky man, with a red neckbeard who always wore a Halo shirt (and the same one day after day) and a funky hat
>he also had green eyes that frankly reminded me of car fluid
>yes, he literally looked like a fat dorky Leprechaun who was only one step short of wearing a fedora
>anyway I'm forgetting myself. Me and a few "friends" (fuck these people) decided to invite him to a DND game
>now we hadn't thrown a tabetop session in years as we all sort of hated one another, but we wanted to just get one game under our belt before we split up after graduation
>the session was to be held in one of the classrooms after class ended, forget which one
>there were three of us other than Franklin and the GM
>all three of us, like I said, weren't terribly experienced with PNP so this was in many ways a new experience
>but then the door opened and out stepped Franklin
>as he sat down we all presented our characters, just stupid cliches meant to create a decent Dungeon romp party... I played the midget Rogue
>Franklin was last... Good lord, you wanna know what he wanted to play as? A fucking Half-Angel Half-Demon Paladin with a oh so tragic backstory, with a OP custom class that literally combined all three base classes in one build
>WTF I shit you not
>GM was scrolling down his sheet, looked at the three of us then at Franklin
>"Uh, Dude. This is OP. While not a bad character at any stretch, this doesn't fit"

>>48671480
>the die result was the amount he caught
This seems pretty mundane so far--
>and therefore the weapon he got for the encounter
I... what now? That's... such a terrible idea.

You should have said yes, but every result on the chart of "weapons" he got for the encounter was "handful of rocks".

>>48671374
>laughing hobbits.jpg

>>48669477
I would get pissed at that desu

Like fuck why do you get to be immune all the sudden to succubi because you claim a trait that NO ONE else knew of out of the blue?
As a gay guy fuck you and fuck your gm

>>48671528
He ripped it from HunterXHunter. He could have made it something else than stupid god damn pebbles. But at the same time he's the type that'd sit there and be angry or sulk if he cocked it up and got a dagger.

>>48670843
>A succubus is a demon of lust, that can shapechange and also use illusions to lure it's victims into it's trap. What I mean to say with this is: the charm spell should've affected you like it should've anyone else.

There weren't any such details in the monster tables we were using, as far as I know. Although I'm not sure it would have mattered since the entire party was confronted with them at the same time. Are they going to maintain a female form to lure my allies into a trap, then quickly shapeshift into attractive males right before my very eyes? Those kinds of tactics would be a little too transparent.

>"But it's magic!"

In no reality can I conceive myself as being attracted to the opposite sex. There is absolutely nothing a woman could do to lure me into bed with her. Unless her magic literally rewires the pathways in my brain to make me into a completely different person, then it's not going to happen. I shudder to think that the DM would allow such a degree of character modification to occur against the player's will in the first place. At least it actually makes sense for the other characters to be vulnerable to the enchantment.

Besides, every character in the campaigns I've played tends to have some unique or esoteric quality about them that affords them advantages or disadvantages not typical to that character. It's not as if every fighter or cleric or thief has to be cut-and-paste right out of the manual. So what's wrong with encouraging a little roleplaying beyond the class scope?

>>48669477
I see no problem with being gay making you un-succubiable. It just means you're the only one vulnerable to a satyr's charms later on.

>>48671580
I know this is bait but it's magic you retard

It's literally a magical mind controlling effect, so yes it probably does rewire the pathways or whatever bullshit is needed to explicit it.

Say it again with me now

M A G I C

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>>48665040

>>48671509
cont.
>Franklin looked hurt then launched into a classic, "but dis is fantasy so consistency is hit" triade cuz reasons
>I hate it when people do that
>after about five minutes of just getting RAGGED on by Franklin, the GM begrudgingly allowed his character
>then the session started, we were in a dungeon surrounded by level 1 shit
>like stupid zombies, Kobold hobos, you know
>Franklin then decides to cast a area spell that SOMEHOW clears the entire zone
>GM looks at Franklin and is about to open his mouth, but preemptively Franklin starts another "dis is fantasy u no tell me what do" winefest
>again he relented, and what followed were ten fucking minutes of Franklin hogging the spotlight and playing out his Mary Sue Naruto fanfiction fantasies
>finally, with the rest of the party miserable, the GM places a few traps in a room that the players must dodge, all the while dodging beer bottles from Kobold vagrants
>it was meant to be a room that required patience and a chance for some real teamwork from the party
>Franklin evidently didn't catch any of that and just barged right in
>he fucked up the save roll, and his character was just LITERALLY torn apart by raiders of the lost arc shit
>like the GM played DF or someshit, holy hell
>but Franklin refused to accept that he fucked up and his character was dead, so he just said: "but then I cast custom shield protecting me from everything"
>the GM looked annoyed, "you can't do that. You died-"
>"Blahblahblah fantasy," literal words
>then finally I had enough, "hey guys, this sucks. I'm going home."
>I packed my bags and left, I was quickly followed by the others and left behind a fuming Franklin

There's more shit about Franklin, but that ends my (brief) gaming session with the greasy Leprechaun.

>>48671580
I think you're just trying to defend yourself as a shitty player
Your character is not you
It doesn't matter if it's transparent they are enchantment masters

Literally just fuck off
Your GM is trash at encounter improv

>>48671623
DM is the law. Any player who doesn't undestand this rule don't deserve a place in my game table.

>>48671013
You're the one who chose to play a child slave, you had to have known what you were getting into.

>>48665040
Here's my tale of two players that I'll call R and E.
>R will never play anything that isn't fantasy. Often wants to be a cleric of death and charge players for aid.
>R proudly claims to be the traitor even in games where there are no traitors.
>When R isn't an edgelord she falls upon being an annoying pixie type who goes off alone then chatter boxes in a fast high pitched ass voice to get her way.
>R wants to contribute to the ooc party fund with money or food and feels guilty about accepting rides. Has no job. I suggest she bake brownies because that's cheap and easy. "Nooo it's a pain to transport. If we run at your place then it'd be easier."

>E on the other hand barely pays attention because she's on her phone. Hears her name and goes "Huh"
>E will not do anything that she isn't trained for and calls others assholes if they don't take actions to facilitate her doing her gimmick
>E often gets frustrated and calls people assholes if they block/slow her down in competitive games but is quiet as a church mouse if she's clearly winning. Then goes to explain why she made her winning moves.
>E made a barbarian in Dungeon World who "left her tribe because she's too smart for all those dumbass grognards back home" and calls burping bucking-social-norms-can-I-have-xp-please then gets mad if I have people sneer and call her disgusting.

>>48671585
>>48671580
>>48671609
You guys know Charm Person/Monster doesn't make you a dumb puppet, right? It just makes you regard the caster as a trusted friend.

Suggestions (as in the spell) have to be 'reasonable' as well.

>>48671580
>There is absolutely nothing a woman could do to lure me into bed with her
neither they can my stoic character who won't rest until he finished his job, are you saying he is immune too?

>>48671696
The succubus in this case also only would have to ask for a kiss, which isn't completely unreasonable regardless of sexual orientation.

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>>48671580
>There is absolutely nothing a woman could do to lure me into bed with her.
>mfw

There is also absolutely no way that I would hand my wallet to some guy I don't even know. Except, you know, when he mind controls me with magic.

>Although I'm not sure it would have mattered since the entire party was confronted with them at the same time. Are they going to maintain a female form to lure my allies into a trap, then quickly shapeshift into attractive males right before my very eyes?

No, the usual way this works is that the Succubus, being a demon who focuses on the lust of mortal men (and women) has an illusion that makes her look like the (wo)man of the dreams of anyone around it. If you look at the demon, you basically see whatever man/woman you would be attracted to because of how a succubus' magic works: illusions deriving from what someone percieves as arousing!

>>48671696
>You guys know Charm Person/Monster doesn't make you a dumb puppet, right?

If you fail your save against a succubus, you're donzo friendo. Capisce?
Here's the rules that I deem fitting for a succubus
>The fiend can charm one humanoid within 30 feet. The target must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or be magically charmed for 1 day. The charmed target obeys the fiend's verbal or telepathic commands.
>The charmed target obeys the fiend's verbal or telepathic commands.
>The charmed target obeys

All in all, succubi are demons that prey on the weak of mind and on the lustful. It is only fitting that they have mind-control magic that makes people into thralls!

>>48671609
>I know this is bait

And you felt compelled to follow up to it with a bait-tier reply of your own. Who's baiting who, exactly?

>it's magic you retard

Then there's no functional reason for a succubus to appear as a woman, or any other particular form for that matter. Why isn't she / it just an amorphous blob that enslaves unwitting parties with mass Charm Person spells? I mean, it's MAGIC, so there evidently doesn't need to be any pretense to it.

There are numerous monsters in D&D that take on specific forms because they have niche functions, which of course makes roleplaying that much more interesting. So it seems more reasonable to believe (or at least house-rule) that a succubus appears as a woman specifically for the purpose of enticing men.

>>48669406

Did you check the sex offender registry to see if he was on it?

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One of my fellow players always make testing rolls before the session. He tries every dice he had, and after 10-15 minutes of rolling he decides which one uses (the ones with the better rolls, of course).

>>48671787
>Here's the rules that I deem fitting for a succubus
That's fine, but your homebrew wasn't in play in the situation being discussed, was it?

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>>48668088

>>48671824
That's just autism though
Not really that guy material

>>48671824
Make him play a system like AD&D, which flips back and forth on whether you want to roll high or low depending on what you're rolling for.

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>>48671789
Succubus' first appeared because Christians and other religious nuts were going on and on about demons that entice folk with sex. The first ones to write about it were men, but the incubus came not too much later: tradition demands the succubus to be a woman with wings, perfect skin, big boobs and ass and whatnot.

But if your GM feels like it, he can have the demon have a male favourite form and go around as a hunky, muscle-filled dude with chesthair and a beard or whatever the fuck.

>>48671845
No, but I'm pointing out how that other GM screwed the pooch hard.

People ought to know what the shit they're talking about when they bring something up. And since anon apparently doesn't know how a succubus functions -and is being really fucking stubborn about muh homosexuality- I'm filling him in.

Since when are succubi capable of mind control? They can charm players, but charm spells don't override a person's autonomy and enslave them to the caster, they just make the caster appear in a very favorable light. So a succubus attempting to charm a non-heterosexual man might be able to convince said man that she has anything but evil intentions while her cohorts are busy dragging the rest of the party off into some dank, dark chamber from which they'll never return, but it's unlikely she could actually convince the guy to make out with her or some shit.

>>48671881
You could always follow a slaaneshi type thing with it instead of strictly following "succubus am for straight mens, incubus am for straight womens"
androgynous, perfectly accustomed beauty, so it would just be what the viewer wants it to be.

gee whiz /tg/ maybe the question can be fucking answered with "depends on the setting"

or we can have another one of these threads

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Are you serious, people. We are sharing some stories, not debating what a succubbus can do...

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>>48670070
>>48670804
>Anon doesn't speak perfect english
>retard calls anon retarded
>two people reply to retard
>this somehow constitutes proof of retard's claims

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>>48671924
>while her cohorts are busy dragging the rest of the party off into some dank
why? Haven't you yourself stated that succubi are incapable of mind control?

>>48671680
I never said it was a bad experience.

I loved Biths Mounth of the Stoneweavers, probably one of my favorite characters of all time.

The guy barely had any toes left, but he was still alright.

>>48672007
It's 4chan, what did you expect?

>>48671881
>But muh historical propriety!
>But it doesn't have to be logical - it's magic!

Choose one and only one goalpost.

>>48672030
If your smoking hot 'trusted friend' asks you to go into the back room and fuck her, and you are a heterosexual man or homosexual woman, do you think you'll say no? Hell, she can hit you with a suggestion now that she's made it really easy for you to accept them.

>>48671881
Then again, usually those kind of demons don't just turn up when the whole party is there or someshit. They would try to get one of them alone and charm them and bring them up to their room or someshit!

Here's what a good GM would've done:
>As you arrive at the inn and sit down at a table, the innkeeper walks over. She is a busty blonde woman who is taking around mugs of beer and rum: she walks over to your table and asks you what you'd like.
>She winks at [player a] and asks you what it'll be.
>After ordering your dinner she heads off to the kitchen to prepare your meal.
>She returns after a few minutes and brings your drinks
>She leans closer to [player a's character] and whispers in his ear
>whispering/passing notes: she invites you up to her room, now. Make a will save and a charisma check.
>whispering/passing notes: looks like you failed.
>After you are done with your meal, the innkeeper takes away your used plates. She then heads upstairs. [player a's character] follows her soon after.
>whispering/passing notes: the innkeeper, secretly a succubus, grants you the night of your life. Doing so, she also puts a geas on you, ordering you to bring her [mcguffin] from the ruins of the city beneath the town.

I think I've told this one before though possibly not in it's entirety, but I must tell it again for posterity.

So gather around and hear the tale of that guy known only as Bear.

>Bear was part of a university role playing club I joined back in the day, though not actually a student
>His Snorlax like body was the first thing most people saw when they joined the club and his odor was the thing most new members smelled
>We once had this skinny sexy asian chick join the club
>Television logic tells us that everyone of us sheltered nerds should have been all over her
>But since we mostly real life human beings with some common decency she mostly went unmolested
>Mostly
>The creature known only as Bear hit on her ceaselessly, despite her obviously being uncomfortable
>Usually myself or someone else would tell him to stop being a pervy asshat and he'd stop until the club gathered again a few days later and the bullshit would resume
>She eventually stopped showing up altogether
>This was the first woman I'd seen him make unwanted advances to, it would by no means be the last
>Once, during an MTG game against him he let me know that he'd been on a date the previous night
>Okay
>"I got laid just in case you were wondering"
>I was not. We finished the game quickly and I declined another match.
>Now Bear was a player who was not afraid to occasionally play female characters in a game
>Which was terribly unfortunate for the rest of us, as every single female character he played was an eighteen year old sex addicted japanese school girl
>(replace school girl with katana wielding ninja in settings where school girls made no sense)
>I'm not exaggerating either, I saw him play no fewer than three games as that exact character
>He once captured my character in a WoD game and attempted to torture me for information
>And by torture I mean basically rape me
>I've never been so close to throwing up without actually doing it

Cont. we're getting to the good stuff

>>48672089
>do you think you'll say no?
"Sorry, but I'm married"

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>>48672072
>only one goalposts
>there are two posts on each goal

Anon, I'm afraid you're going to have to go back to elementary school and learn basic 1+1 math.

Also, what you wrote makes you look like you're one of Those Guys that say
>b-but muh dwarves are big hunks with great mustaches and excellent swordsmanship
because of
>m-muh subversion of traditional concepts!

>>48672126
And what's your excuse for not doing her a little favour?

>>48672146
>not doing her a little favour
the same fag will use

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>>48671986
That's what I was gunning for with "succubus use illusion magic to appear like the kind of partner the humanoid wants them to be"

To be honest though, I prefer them a one-against-one character encounter. As in: they target only one specific person, instinctively knowing what that person fancies and then they work their magic, luring that person away from their comrades, into a honeytrap.

>>48672164
The favour is 'help me move a couple of barrels in the basement'.

>>48672186
neither hetero nor gay would refuse such, what's next part of your master plan?

>>48672124
2/?

>When not playing a sex addicted japanese teenager his characters focused on the most singular and contrived bullshit
>A DnD character that could, in his own words, heal infinitely
>...at the rate of 1hp per round
>At level 8
>He used pretty much all of his feats and took about three classes to achieve this
>One time he insisted that his Minotaur Barbarian should become a shadowdancer
>He presented this to me as though I would just somehow let him take the prestige class with no qualifications
>I told him that if his character, who was gaining one skill point per level, could muster up the prerequisites, I'd let him have it
>This seemed to upset him more than I thought it would and he was quiet for the rest of the game
>God I wish he'd stayed that way
>But anyway, the REAL tale of Bear doesn't begin with him as a player, it begins when that guy became that DM
>His first game was a 3.5 game
>I played a cleric, and had in my repertoire a gem of a spell called sanctuary
>Bear apparently forgot I cast this spell on myself at one point and had an enemy attack me
>I let him know they needed to make a will save
>He asks why
>Because Sanctuary
>He wants to read the spell entry
>I guess that's fair enough
>He's a slow reader but he gets through it eventually
>So combat resumes, somehow all three kobolds that try to hit me succeed their checks behind the DM screen, nearly killing me
>I mean I guess it's possible
>But it does arouse my suspicion a little when I recast and the next batch of kobolds in the next room does the same thing, knocking me out
>But I survive and the adventure continues
>At one point we come across the mcguffin
>The DM informs us it is now time to head back to the village
>Alright we'll finish checking this dungeon and head back
>No, we have to head back now
>So the DM literally refuses to let us continue into the dungeon, and we are forcibly sent back where we came

Cont. it just gets worse

>>48672204
getting caught.

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>>48672280

>>48672280
3/?

>We find the NPC with the glowing question mark and turn in the magical whatsit
>Ahh yeas this is the thing of Mhhrhfhrhf you must head back to the dungeon to find a second magical thing
>...fuck this guy
>So we head back to the dungeon
>On the way there we encounter a ranger, that the DM keeps 'gently' reminding us has no animal companion with him
>So this ranger starts boring us with stock NPC dialogue, apparently there's like a third maguffin somewhere and he wants us to help him, oh and by the way you can't see his animal companion
>We say we'll help with his maguffin if he helps with ours
>He says he can't also his animal companion isn't there
>Well if he won't help us we're not helping him
>Bear decides that we are going to help him and we don't have a choice in the matter, and reminds us that HIS ANIMAL COMPANION IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN YOU GUYS
>At this point we are getting pissed off with the DMs bullshit
>We figured that since he didn't have his animal companion we could probably take him on
>So we attacked
>He of course dodged every attack (I remember one roll was absurdly high at like 25 or something) and wasn't even mad at us for trying to literally murder him
>So we're like "cool he passes his turn, we attack again!"
>Of course we all miss again and then he casts some spell that knocks us all out with no saves
>Now I'm not too familiar with ranger spells but I'm like 102.7% sure this is bullshit
>Then his animal companion arrives
>And of course it's a fucking colossal dragon, just.. because
>So he tells us where to meet him when we're ready and then just flies off like we didn't try to murder him twice
>To be fair if you were literally invincible you probably wouldn't get mad at people trying to murder you either
>So the spell wears off and Bear starts to describe us heading back to the half explored dungeon
>We as a group say "fuck that shit"

cont. I made you move your mouse

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> I when she didn't ask.
> Roll some d20 and didn't count.
> Elf town has many. But didn't give up.
> Sell hers sword for the next town.
> If the Mage was new he did know then.
> Elfs are run every place.
> Magic the spell fire.
> The dwarf has known and make laugh into.
> Elfs say that cave hill north.
> GM left game to boyfriend.
> MFW he is now.

>>48672383
joke's on you, I highlight and use my mousewheel to keep track of where I'm at in long greentexts.

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>>48672454

>>48672383

I had a golden rule: never play with a weird player or DM. Five minutes is what it takes to knew if someone could stay in the game table. Even before a session you could see if that person is a "potential moron". That could save you from a lot of trouble.

>>48671462
A specific 3.5 player. A few years ago I ran a 3.5 campaign and it was fine. I don't use it anymore but I'm not suggesting anything about people who do.

>>48672383
4/???

>We, as a group decided to stop and pull out our shovels to dig as hole at the side of the road in protest
>The DM asks why and we decide we're making our own dungeon now because fuck being railroaded
>So he lets us dig
>For about two seconds before one of our shovels strikes something under the dirt
>We know it's going to be something stupid but we excavate this thing
>We finally get it out and Bear describes it as being a fuckhuge gemstone almost as large as a person
>Oh cool we sell it and retire forever
>Oh no wait, it starts to crack and we realize it was a fucking dragon egg buried at the side of the road??????
>The baby dragon emerges and at this point I should probably say this guy has a weird dragon obsession
>And so of course we try to catch that slippery fucker because a live baby dragon is probably worth more than any gemstone
>Oh no it somehow defeats all of our grapple tests behind the DM screen and flies the fuck away
>What the fuck was even the point of that?
>So we keep digging
>Of course all our shovels somehow break
>I'm not sure why he didn't do that first instead of the weird dragon egg encounter but whatever
>So we head back to the dungeon and the session ends for the night
>There were no further sessions
>But worry not because the story isn't entirely at an end, in fact I think it's safe to say it just gets more absurd
>You see about six months later 4th edition comes out, we're all in one huge game (Bear included) and the DM decides that her has to drop half the players because he had about 9 at this point
>Bear gracefully offers to run a game for those who were dropped
>Well shit
>There were no other games to join at the time so I said fuck it and signed on
>Enter Bear's 4th ed Dragonlance game

cont. fucking dragons man

>>48672476
I was young and stupid. I blame nobody but myself, but the story must be told.

>>48672521
Dude, you had a lot of bad luck :___D

>>48670932
see
>>48670822

>>48671580
Your character is not you

>>48672383
god, I played a game like that once. shitty no dice rolling bullshit with some guy making deals with both angels and demons. I just sat there, both IC and OOC.

Succubus are really poorly designed creatures. They're basically Save or Die incarnate because if you fail the first one you probably fail the suggestion and hold person while the succubus sucks your soul out of you.

>>48672500
5/draconic train conductor

>So there are three of us in this new game
>I'm a Drow rogue focussing on daggers
>We also have a halfling rogue focusing on being a sneaky cunt
>And a wizard of some race I can't remember now
>He decided that everybody would get flaws
>He decides that since I'm a rogue I should be a kleptomaniac
>I will now attempt to steal items at random, and by random he of course means entirely decided by him
>I tell him that my concept was more like an assassin but he does not give two fucks
>So I'm being screwed before the game even starts, this will surely end well
>Game starts, we enter the city of Whateverington
>"Ding ding ding, you feel an urge to steal fruit from that merchants stall"
>He actually said the ding ding ding part
>So I'm forced to commit theft in broad daylight, luckily I manage to get away with it because drow
>So we continue up to the castle
>On the way there we encounter a baby dragon on the street
>Now I don't know much about dragonlance so hey maybe baby dragons just wonder around in human cities all the time, the fuck do I know?
>But I'm pretty sure no setting has baby dragons wondering around human settlements that are also fuck off godlike psions
>This fucker waves a coin purse in front of use that Bear informs me looks a lit like mine, apparently he stole it with psychic powers
>I snatch it away from the dragon angrily
>The dragon laughs and uses his psychic powers to unbuckle my belt and drop my pants in front of laughing passerbys.
>Man fuck this shit, I get pissed and throw a dagger out of him
>The dagger is psychically telported out of mid air and back into it's sheath
>Dragon guy isn't even the slightest bit pissed that I just tried to kill the fuck out of him, but again, if you were basically invincible, would you care?
>So we make our way to the castle and end up meeting the queen

Cont. fucking dragon psions

>>48672656
Or you can become a GM with a little bit of imagination and not kill the PC who's gotten controlled by the fucking succubus.

>>48672715
>You got mind controlled by a succubus
>The succubus cast like six geas on you to kill each of the party members, your family, and everyone you've ever loved.
Interesting right?

>>48672715
It's a convenient way to solve the murder hobo problem
>and so you have all sired tiefling sons and daughters, Mike since you rolled a 20 you have twins, and you have to settle down, take responsibility, and rear you children with your new demon wives
Really adds that ironic grounded realism to a campaign

>>48672665
6/ssssshhh, it's almost over

>Ding ding ding I have the sudden urge to snatch the queen's amulet
>As in the one hanging around her neck
>As in the dark elf that nobody trusts with daggers strapped to every part of his body has to rush the queen and reach for her neck
>Surely my character must have some sense of self preservation I plead with Bear
>Of course he doesn't
>So of course I, as a level 1 character, fail to steal the amulet from a person's neck in a room full of guards without being noticed
>And of course literally nobody cares that I just tried to steal from the fucking queen, because whatever
>So she tells us what mcguffin we're going to go fetch that day
>Apparently there's some key to open some ancient vault in the city
>They need two keys but only have one
>Are the keys magical?
>No
>What's the DC to pick the lock
><insert some number that he obviously didn't realize was within my ability>
>So I attempt to pick the remaining lock, rolling high and getting the DC
>Oh... you break your lockpicks
> -_-
>SO ANYWAY we go to get the key which is at the bottom of the dungeon in the deep dark forest blah blah blah you've all played this game before
>While sneaking ahead the halfling rogue finds a hidden chamber
>At this point Bear takes me aside and says he needs to tell me something secretly
>He takes me aside and tells me that within the chamber are four suits of ancient armor and the walls are covered in inscriptions and runes
>I remind him that it was the halfling who entered the chamber
>"Oh, forget everything I just told you"
>Anyway we sort that out and eventually all get into the chamber
>Blah blah prophecy blah blah ancient magic blah blah fulfill our destiny blah blah blah
>To sum it up, there were four suits of magic fullplate armor corresponding to four dead dudes, one fighter, one mage, rogue and cleric
>And for some reason we are obliged to take up these suits of armor and fulfill some bullshit destiny

Cont.

>>48669477

You fucked up by not making your characters orientation known to your GM beforehand.

If I was the GM I would have said fuck off.

>>48672770
See >>48672094

It's like demons think that mortals and their doings are even worth meddling in when there is a fucking portal to hell to be opened with a macguffin or something!

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>>48665040

>Started campaign with three good friends
>Ranger, Monk, and Fighter
>Dwarf, Half-Elf, and Kobald
>Goodtimes.jpg
>Ranger has a friend that I don't get along with
>Beta closet neo-nazi that is intimidated by me
>Always talks about conspiracies and how white people are under prejudice etc.
>Also, he's a christian, and will let you know it
>He joins campaign because I was less strict with RPing then
>Druid Gnome
>Fucking god damn it
>Doesn't take things seriously
>I'm not a prune but when all you do is complain about how things in fantasy don't make sense I think you're missing the point
>Party comes across merchant
>Party is all neutral or good
>Druid kills merchant even though it was against parties wishes
>Later we get to BBEG
>Awesome Chimera boss/puzzle room
>Party is hype
>That Guy: "Does he have testicales"
>"I mean, yeah?"
>TG: "I ride my wolf under him and freeze his balls with touch of frost"
>Me and party are annoyed
>That Guy and his lurking gf he brought without warning laugh it up
>Kobold drops out
>Monk makes up excuse to leave
>Campaign ruined

Fuck that guy

>>48672806
>And for some reason we are obliged to take up these suits of armor and fulfill some bullshit destiny
Sounds like power rangers.

>>48672806
7/7

>So the mage gets the mage armor
>The halfling gets the rogue armor
>And I get the fighter armor
>"But I'm not a fighter"
>"There's only one rogue armor"
>"Well you should have told me if you wanted a fighter at the start of the game"
>Of course he literally gives zero shits and continues with the game
>So these armors right, they're full plate armor BUT there's no penalties to wearing them
>So the mage gets a ridiculous armor bonus that he wouldn't have gotten
>Us two rogues get a decent bonus
>So you think it's not bad because my armor doesn't stop me being a rogue right?
>Wrong
>The armor also has super duper special abilities. Despite us being like level 2 or something.
>In addition to all of them summoning dragon wings to let us fly sigh, the mage one lets him cast two spells a turn, the rogue one lets him do double sneak attack damage and my one
>*drum roll*
>Comes with some magic sword
>What the fuck, my entire character is built around daggers, I don't even have this proficiency
>So he tells me I have to take the proficiency feat next level
>So... the mage is running around twincasting, the halfling is murder fucking everything to death, and here I am forced to take a feat I don't want
>I tell him to give me the cleric armor instead since at least it's not going to force me to take a shitty feat that doesn't work with my character
>"I'm saving that in case another player joins the game as a cleric"
>So me and the other players spend the better part of an hour trying to explain to this guy why he is a fucking asshat of the highest order until the session ends
>The last session of that short campaign

And well, that's about it. Sometime later Bear moved away from the city and stopped coming in to the club. I formed a regular group which I still play with now out of the friends I made in his game (they say suffering brings people together) and he was never heard from again.

And that is the tale of That DM known only as Bear.

The shit that DMs apparently get away with. At least That DMs.
>>48672992
>So he tells me I have to take the proficiency feat next level
Like hell I am. I undestand the desire to play, and a game is a game. But seriously, In your position I would have probably told him to fuck himself.

>>48671623
I need more on this Greasy Leprechaun. Anon, please grant us more!

>>48672992
Should've called him Blob or something.

Bears are something else, you know?

>>48673131
Well Bear was his actual nickname.

I catch one of my players stealing books from my collection. He said as excuse that he can't afford rpgs...

I had one player who did the whole "scoop up dice as soon as they touch the table and declare success." He only started failing when I stood up and walked around the tables and observed dice rolls.

Same player was also a nasty fuck whose shirt was covered in greasy gooey foods that squirted out of his maw and would walk from his car to my house barefoot tracking in God knows what.

As you can guess, I kicked him out when I noticed the lack of shoes when I was asking about a strange smell.

>>48673357
Cut his hand off.

Can I talk about magic related that guys here? If I can, I have some funny stories.

>>48673679
Yes

>>48673679
Please do, nothing I love hearing about more than shitty Magic: players

>>48673692
This one happened yesterday, and all these involve my friend "Jake".

>every time I invite Jake over, we usually drink beers, play commander, and have a pretty good time
>he has what my girlfriend describes as "greasy swinger" vibe where he awkwardly hits on her by being overly sincere, sort of like he wants to bang her, but has a "fiancee" and doesn't know how to reconcile it
>we find it hilarious every time
>invite him over for magic yesterday
>he texts me saying he's coming by my house for a Pokemon GO event
>I tell him I have to drive my lady to work and can chill after 5pm
>"That's fine, there is a pokestop near you're house, I'll just hang out."
>At 1pm
>I go pick up some beers and drop my girlfriend off at her job, come home and he's hanging out on my front porch playing pokemon
>awkwardly shows me all these pokemon I literally don't care about while I'm offering him beer and trying to start a game of magic
>I built a new deck, upgraded one I built for last time we played, he built a new deck too
>but wont shut up about it at all
>constantly describing how he was voted at a camp as "most fox-like" of all the animals, talking about how he's such a cunning sorcerer
>describes magic in a series of "wizard" analogies, as in "imagine I'm like a cunning darkness wizard and my power is to look into your hand and steal things"
>whatever, he's a good magic player, it's alright
>as we're hanging out playing commander, he keeps trying to instigate political discussions
>I flat out tell him that I'm apathetic to politics and it makes me angry, so I don't want to talk about it
>still tries to talk about it for 20 minutes while I ignore him
>eventually my girlfriend is about home, he's probably 8 beers in
(Cont)

>>48673962
>he starts talking about how he wants to "get her out of her shell" and "make her more social because she's such a wonderful person"
>keeps telling me that he really likes her as a person but goes on and on with these weird statements
>I'm literally telling him to shut up because my girlfriend could walk in at any moment
>and of fucking course she does
>I start loudly talking over him to distract her from his awkward tirade
>things settle down and we get back to magic, the game we start up takes way too fucking long because it's a g/w vs u/w standoff
>tell him we have to call it a night, it's getting late
>has like 4 half finished beers off to the side of my table when I try to pick up empties
>spent an hour sipping and awkwardly talking about how he's happy that his girlfriend picked up pokemon go because, and I quote, he "noticed a big difference on her hips and thighs, and like it was really evident when [he] started going down on her"
>as he's going on and on and on my girlfriend and I are loudly talking about dark souls, I even go off to the bathroom to get a break from the cringe
>we offer to drive him home when he decides to leave because he's hammered
>he says fuck it, wants to go get some pokemon
>at midnight, in the ghetto
>when he lives 3km away
And do you know what the kicker is?
>I stopped hanging out with him months ago because he came over every day, drank all my booze, then stayed too late while I was in school
>and this was the second time he's been over to my house in the past 6 months

>>48673998
I find it peculiar that you'd let someone talk like that of your girlfriend, but hey. It's your girlfriend and if she's cool with it...

>>48673332
I bet 200 gold that he gave himself that name after a YouTube spirit Quest after he looked up 'the best' animals on a geocity webiste.

>And it stuck because he is unbearable and a real bear to deal with, plus the cool kids knew it was a big fat gay man name.

>>48674096
Or much like a real near its best to steer clear

>>48674157
Bear

Have you guys noticed any tells or patterns shared by a lot of That Guys, prior to them being oustedas one?

>>48668868
The physical contact thing sounds like he has literal autism.

>>48674067
She hates his guts and I didn't want to start a drunken argument when it's easier to ignore in the first place. Imagine arguing with an atheist. Now imagine that atheist is actually this guy who is unironically also an atheist and will just loudly talk no matter how wrong he is. You're right, it was weird as shit, but lesser of two evils and all that.

>>48673908
Here is an actual magic related one involving "Jake":

>I'm playing b/w Ayli control and he's playing Monoblack discard with Liliana the Heretical Healer
>the game is going back and forth, eventually he gets Liliana's emblem and a pretty good boardstate with whip of erebos and all that
>I have fuck all, bunch of durdley walls, Ayli, some chumps and nothing fantastic
>then I hit tree of perdition
>drop the tree
>he has no cards in hand, top decks a swamp
>put sunbond on a 1/1 flying spirit
>tap the tree, steal 60 life, feed it to ayli
>sunbond pops 60 counters
>swing for the game with a 61/61 flying spirit
>starts bitching about why the tree needs to be banned and how it's totally bullshit, but he will totally get his revenge
>every time I play that b/w deck, he busts out his monoblack
>and every time I go out of my way to tutor/reanimate the tree

>>48673962
>>as we're hanging out playing commander, he keeps trying to instigate political discussions
Make Mercadia Great Again!

The Saprazzans keep coming over our borders, they're pirates, and thieves, and criminals. And the Saprazzans are just sending them over here. We need to build a wall around our upside down mountain to keep our people safe. Also we should bar immigration by the Cho-Arrim, we can't risk that their fanatics keep coming here and killing our Kyren goblins.

>>48672852
...was his name Keith? I used to know this That Guy named Keith who refused to play anything but full-casting gnomes. We once ran a game where we were supposed to all play something none of the other players had seen us play before.

He played a sorcerer who was a clean-shaven dwarf raised by gnomes.

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>>48674232
That's hilarious, well done. I wouldn't mind talking about that kind of politics, and I've studied politics, I just can't stand getting in pissing contests with pedantic idiots arguing semantics instead of substantiated content.

>>48674232
Everything was fine until that idiot with the goatee and the flying ship showed up.

/bump

>>48669052
Sounds like that problem solved itself.

>>48672454
Can you type that again, but in coherent english?

>>48669477
>>48669536
>>48669556
>>48669572
>>48671006
>>48671135
>>48671194
>>48671272
>>48671329
>>48671696
>>48671747
>>48671787


Guys guys everyone stop.

Mostly because I can't scroll much more because it's taking too long.

Succubus would certainly work on a gay man, she would just turn up the lust until he caved. The succubus would just take it as a challenge to be beaten.

Maybe the cleric was protected by his diety and that's why he resisted the succubus charms, don't even have to make it a gay thing.

And finally
>There is absolutely nothing a woman could do to lure me into bed with her.

First of all, she doesn't need the bed.

Second of all, you don't understand, the bed is to protect you from shattered pelvis, and to pad you so she doesn't break you.
Also, what if the succubus targets someone who is entirely innocent and oblivious to seduction or sexual anything. Would it work?

Like this guy is so goddamn dense he doesn't realise the succubus is trying to seduce/charm him.

>>48675929
We had a thread like this, right? The guy was beyond Harem Protagonist dense, and hilarious. Anyone have the Image for it?

>>48676038
Oh my god thats happened before? Please god someone better have that.

>>48670070
>criticises others' spelling
>mixes up "your" and "you're"

>>48668023
Jeremy pls

>>48676373
>No capital letters and types with sentence fragments.
>The year is 2016 and this still happens.
>My faces current state when I see this.

>>48670111
Yeah, it does seem that a lot of good stories, at least in this thread, are coming from anons for whom English is a second language. Doesn't diminish their value as contributions to the thread. Though as a grammar nazi myself, it's kinda hard to read them.

>>48676619
>Face's.

>>48676330
I can't remember much of the details, basically you have a succubus trying to seduce the hero, but the hero can't even conceive that she could be coming onto him.

She takes of her skirt

"You're going to catch a cold like that, you should really put on something warmer."

Then her father turns out to be just as dense, and her mother had to trick him into having sex.

>>48676688
>Implying I am a dirty single faced creature.
>My second face when I am accused of this.
>Implying that a single face is my reaction.

Please try harder single faced guy.

>>48676746
Oh my fucking god...
Im gonna go sift through the archives..and when I find it i am going to post a new thread. if I die in the archives, tell my wife I thought she was her sister when I proposed.

>>48676766
>...dirty, single faced creature

Who is doing the implying in the third sentence?

>>48671135
Maybe, but the DM wasn't the disruptive one in the scenario. No matter how right or wrong you think the DM or anon are, the guy who got lossy was that guy because he disrupted the game to argue against the DMs decision when nobody else had a problem.

>DM and I are talking about our experiences with Pathfinder one day
>Tell him about one guy in my group who took Vow of Poverty, but the DM gave him a rock that gained magical properties while in mid air, so it never broke the vow of poverty
>That guy, playing a warrior hears this story and makes his character's main hook about a fucking rock
>Begs the DM to make it magical and for a lot of other magical items
>Tried to start PvP with other players several times over this rock
>DM makes it so the rock can be used to roll a d100 for a random magical effect
>So far he's turned himself blue 3 times and frightened himself
>At one point my character finds a scripted magic great sword that causes 2d6+2 necrotic, but has downsides
>That guy can't make it one day, so I play his character and get really good rolls as him
>After a fight with a white dragon, his sword nearly takes over his mind
>Before we leave the cave, trolls ambush us
>Don't want to use this sword again, so on his turn I have him run in the center of these trolls and present his rock
>Roll 38
>Ends up teleported to another dimension
>None of us want to go get his character back

>>48672500
>we decide we're making our own dungeon now because fuck being railroaded
Keh heh heh

>>48676820
It may have been on the Reddit. I think it was a screencap someone posted therex but I can't be sure.

Le bump

>Shadowrun
>Need to steal some vase with data encoded on it.
>We stake the place out, obtain floor plans, develop a plan
>We come up with a plan that could potentially get us out without having to resort to combat using various players skills
>Street Sam wants to know what he can do.
>He's built completely for combat
>"Well, if shit hits the fan you'll be there as backup"
>He claims that's no fun because if the plan works he won't have to do any rolling.
>Insists that the plan actually involve getting into a fight.
>Group reluctantly agrees to keep the group together and shut him up.
>Still complains in combat if someone rolls higher than him without being built specifically for combat.
>Talks about wanting to get his character killed or retired so he can roll a new more powerful (i.e Min maxed with truckloads of supplementary shit) Street Sam.

Fuck you Blake you dickhead.

>>48674228
Jake is literally weenie hut jr's tier

Usually it's just little things, loke trying to make the game all about him, even when his actions make literally zero sense. For example:
> That guy is playing a druid.
> We are a level two party traveling along a trade road.
> A caravan has been attacked and looted, we need to figure out where the bandits wemt.
> "I look around for writing in druidic."
Are you fucking kidding me? Why would there be writing in druidic anywhere nearby?

>>48670517
Weird, I have a player in my game that very similar. She wanted to make a character that was "just like my stealth archer rogue from skyrim!"

It ended about as well as you can imagine.

Turns out that creatures don't just forget where you are after you shoot them. She nearly died a few times before she learned. She also nearly got the entire party lynched by buying potions from the local alchemist doctor, then stealing back the exact amount of money she had just paid her literally MINUTES after giving it.

>>48670822
The GM should have told him that. If he continued killing them after the GM explicitly said that orcs were not all evil then it would be bad. As it stood, that cleric was perfectly justified in killing the murderous orcs that attacked them and were obviously evil.

Mercy is wasted on things inherently evil. Why give mercy to a lich, a devil, or an orc if they are alignment locked into evil?

>>48671580
>in no reality can I conceive myself as being attracted to the opposite sex

>reality where charm person can literally force you to like someone

>in a reality where dominate person can literally make you kill your friends and lovers

>in a reality where magic can LITERALLY AND EASILY REWIRE YOUR BRAIN

man you are a special kind of retarded.

>>48670376
confirmed for the boyfriend in the story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_SSfuoi3io
link related

>>48670340
>chaotic good
>bring him to justice
Excuse me?

>>48671580
Being gay isn't a roleplaying tool, it's a fetish. Bringing that shit into a game is magical realm territory.

>>48682878
one's sexual orientation is an exploitable trait when used correctly.

>>48682914
True.

But the only way you could conceivably gain an advantage against a succubus' charm magic is if you are an elf and therefore have resistance against enchantment/mind altering magic.

Seriously, it's not that hard: elves are the densest pieces of work in the D&D world. That's also why elf women go to humans to get laid.

Any offspring an elf produces is by pure luck/chance.

>>48682716
Some chaotic good people will kill people that do bad things, that is their sense of justice.

>>48670253

>letting PCs act against each other in 3.5

they sounded bad but you also sound like bad GM

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>>48677270
>play another player's character
>get rid of said player's character when they're not even there
>but they're the one who's that guy

>>48677270
>Playing another's character and getting them killed/lost in another realm
I did that once, and I got shit for it, but atleast I fucking fixed it with magic shit
You fucker, you guys are the that guys

>>48668662
Maybe you should fukk dat bitch

>>48669787
>>DM later tells me he wish he had made the cloak cursed because of this
Frankly if I was the DM I'd have re-written the cloak to a slow crippling curse after that.

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>>48669954
>no offense to hipsters)
Mate, if there's one group of people on the planet you should not worry about offending, it's hipsters. They're in a quantum flux of offense at all times.

>>48668868
Sounds like she's codependent and he's a retard, get her out of that relationship before the first rape and or physical abuse

>>48670398
>gender identity
>DnD
Fuck off

>>48668150
>Whenever a player is missing for a session I just make their character go into a form of stasis for the session.
Sounds like you're actually "That DM" guy.

>>48686176
Is it still that GM when the player knows that work is a bitch and means they often aren't able to play, especially when things get busy, and so make a character who fits into the background to allow that to happen on the times they cant make it?

>>48686534
Yes.

Not that the player is guilt-free here, but depending on what exactly "going into a form of stasis" implies, GM is manhandling the character too much.

>>48677270
/That Group/

>>48682878
Same with being attracted to breasts, if we're being technical. What is and isn't considered a "fetish" beyond "having your penis or vagina stimulated" is based on how society treats it.

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I want to tell a story about my group. I really do. They're all sorts of horrible, and obnoxious. I'm not sure why I continue to play with them.

Alas, half of them browse /tg/.

>>48687425
Tell me more anon

>>48682878
Is being straight a fetish? Or do you just not know what fetish means?

>>48687425
I've done that, it spawned a shitstorm.

Do eet, anon.

Why are there incubus and succubus if either one can have 100% mind control of anyone they encounter? Why are they sexual beings if they are just doing regular complete mind control? The answer is you are dumb and the sexual attraction is a huge part of their lore, being the wrong target for one would make you either immune or have a big save bonus at a minimum.

>>48688185
Well, in one of the original renditions of them succubi and incubi are actually the same thing and they'd just take the form necessary.

>>48688185
>>48688579

Yeah, if I remember right Succubi visit men at night and take sperm from them and then Incubi rape women and plant that demon sperm inside of her.

Either way, different genders might exist because they want to make demon babies, and you can't make demon babies with two girls or two guys.

>>48671363
>In many ancient cultures homosexuality was not only accepted, but considered normal.
No it wasn't, being what we consider bisexual was normal and accepted in many ancient cultures who didn't have words for homosexuality or heterosexuality only active and passive, being the passive (taking it in the ass) was always considered a feminine thing and being active was good and masculine whether you were hanging dudes or chicks.

>>48671363
Actually getting fucked was seen as bitch behaviour pretty much everywhere
So while raping the throat of a man might have been the manliest thing you could do, licking Pussy, getting fucked and sucking cocks made you a bitch

>>48668662
>>48668868

You want to bang his girlfriend don't you?
That's why he is so annoying.

>>48681051
Oh, it gets better.

>my best deck is maelstrom wanderer
>first time I brought this deck out he wanted to specifically play it against his temur Surrak deck to show me up
>I hit a t2 exploration, into a t3 explosive vegetation
>he's still durdling, hasn't realized what's happened yet
>next turn I drop Xenagos
>turn after that, Maelstrom
>during the cascade trigger I hit dream cache, put berserker's onslaught on top of my library, grab it with the second part of the cascade trigger
>he chump blocks maelstrom, kills him on his turn
>I cast maelstrom again, hitting kalonian hydra and overwhelming stampede
>swing for 28 double strike trample with maelstrom and 15 double strike trample
>"Man your deck is stupid, if I played a good deck you'd be shit."
>do the same thing against his monowhite weenies
>and his monoblack discard
>then he builds a daxos u/w control the same one I pulled that ayli bullshit on
>we play, he nukes my t2 sword of the animist and counters both my harrow and my explosive vegetation
>I miss a land drop, he's in pretty good shape
>all I have is feldon of the 3rd path on the field, nothing awesome in hand or yard
>hits me for talent of the telepath, winds up putting Arcanis the Omnipotent in my yard while only hitting an anticipate
>my turn I pull arcanis with feldon, draw three, hit sol ring and some other ramp card
>play it out, I can pop maelstrom next turn
>he hasn't really done damage to me at this point, like 4 commander
>hits me with daxos, sees my semblance anvil but doesn't have the mana to cast it after dropping aetherling
>my turn, pop maelstrom, grab Brutalier Exarch with the first part of the cascade, tutor Phyrexian Hydra for the second part
>use Feldon to pull back pathbreaker ibex
>he still bitches about my deck and now refuses to play against it

>>48689610

to be fair, not playing against maelstrom wanderer is generally the best option

>>48689933
Oh I agree, it's complete RNG bullshit, that's why I have it set aside in a special box and only bring it out when someone asks, or if some Spike is sharking a bunch of precons. I have three other decks, Ayli, Meren with absolutely no reanimator, and Brago combofuck. Up until two days ago, he would specifically ask to play Maelstrom. After what I did to Daxos, I doubt he'll ever play it again. The best part was, when we first started playing he was much better than me and would always rub it in. Now, not so much.

>>48671363
>In many ancient cultures homosexuality was not only accepted, but considered normal.

From what I've researched about Greco-Roman and Scandinavian cultures, views ranged from somewhat indifferent to bigoted.

In Ancient Greece, it was socially acceptable for a teenage male to have a passive sexual relationship with an older male mentor, but this relationship would have been taboo if it continued into the youth's adult years. Adult-age men who engaged in such relationships were generally frowned upon, and probably did so only in private. It was possibly even illegal.

Also, I think it's important to point out that Greek pederasty was completely different from pedophilia. A pederastic relationship involved a teenage male who was generally sexually developed and mature enough to understand and consent to a sexual relationship. At worst, something like that might be considered statutory rape by today's standards. Actual pedophilia in Ancient Greece was probably a crime punishable by death.

As for historic Scandinavians, I believe they were okay with men assuming the dominant role in male-on-male relationships, but assuming the passive role was considered contrary to one's nature, as well as a man's duty to procreate. (which was culturally enforced for some reason) I don't know if passive homosexuality was actually a crime, or these guys were shunned, etc. It might not have been that big of a deal in practice, even though no one would openly condone it.

Historic Japan was a similar ordeal as Ancient Greece. Young male conscripts were sought as passive lovers by older samurai, but it might have been taboo for this type of relationship to occur between adult males, especially beyond the context of military culture. Japanese men were eventually expected to marry (women) and continue their clan's bloodline by procreating.

t. a homosexual male who curiously researches these things too much

>>48671509
>>48671623
Your grammar and syntax is fucking horrific. No wonder you got shitty grades in HS.

>>48690154
So, you're right about that, but it's worth pointing out that if adventurers are simultaneously useful and shunned/avoided by virtue of what they do, it's VERY unlikely anyone's going to give a shit even if it's blatantly obvious that two same-sex adventurers are lovers, as long as they don't start dry-humping in front of people or something.

Usually when I run a campaign, adventurers are simultaneously romanticized and avoided. "Oh, yeah, some of them are heroes, true enough, but a lot of 'em will steal your bed out from under you if you aren't careful, and it ain't always easy to tell which is which. That's why it's best they stick to their inns and taverns near the edge of the big cities, and to the houses of those fool enough to take them in, and leave you and me alone 'less, Gods forbid, we ever need them for somethin'. That's how we like it, and it's how they like it, too. Ah, in another life, to be an adventurer... Nobody tellin' me what to do, not a care in the world but can be cut down with proper skill. That's the life..."

And most people don't notice the tension between these two views.

>>48690154
>In Ancient Greece, it was socially acceptable for a teenage male to have a passive sexual relationship with an older male mentor,
Classical philologist here
The whole pedo stuff is not as clear as one might think, more and more scholars begin to think that the relationship (usually) wasn't sexual, though that of course hapenned as well and the part where the old man put his dick between the thighs of the lad was more of an initiation/hazing ritual

And with the Vikings it was relatively specific
You call it the "dominant" role, but it's probably clearer to just say rape, I doubt that they did it among each other much, thralls excepted

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I don't have any specific stories in mind but I can summarize my group's that guy in a single sentence: Imagine playing with a guy who has the personality of Sonic the Hedgehog.

>>48672383
YOU SON OF A BITCH MAKING ME MOVE MY MOUSE!?!?!!?!?

>>48693591
So, kind of cocky and acts like a stereotype of the 90s but PG-ified, but in a pinch his friends can count on him and he's willing to risk his life for perfect strangers?

On balance, he seems way past cool.

>>48670012
It's a shitty thing for them to do, but you did the right thing in not flying off the handle and just letting it go. Good on you for not being autistic, anon.

>>48668868
It is scary how similar this sounds to one of my players, like almost to the letter. Does he insist on wearing mutton chops?

>>48686175
Confirmed Milo Yiannopoulos buttboi.

>Have a guy in one of my groups who's just fucking useless.
>He's a big war-gaming buddy of the GM.
>Never has anything bad happen to his character.
>Always seems to have the best stats and equipment in the party.
>His playing style is to hang back in the rear no matter what.
>I've seen him with the best AC and the most HP left in the party -- still hiding in the back.
>Despite that, he's never really seems to be all that good at ranged combat.
>I've flat-out told him to get his ass in gear and contribute during really bad fights.
>He just stares at me... and does nothing.
>He also likes to interrupt when another player is talking to an NPC
>"You're doing it wrong! You should be doing [fill in the blank] instead!"
>The only reason I play with him is because we had a big blowout a while back.. .
>...I told him to fuck off. He's left me alone ever since.
>Other players tolerate his shit for reasons unknown to me.

>>48699355
>Other players tolerate his shit for reasons unknown to me.
Rear guy is amazing at wild and crazy sex?

>>48668959
Well what the fuck happened to him and to her?

>>48686781
it's the exact opposite. No "oh hey your character died in the last session" or "I/another player played your character last session and made a major decision for you, I hope you don't mind" stasis implies that nothing happened to your character since you last played it.

>>48687425
do it faggot it might open their eyes

>>48668023
>>48669302
From what I can see, it's really just the DM telling Jeremy he didn't want to play with him anymore.

Yes it's rude, yes it's petty, but it sounds like Jeremy deserved it. It sounds like Jeremy shouldn't have been allowed into that game in the first place, or should have been booted way earlier, but what's done is done.