Female Bards

They're a good place to deposit semen.

Would bang/10

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I want to run a female bard/monk. I don't care if it's impractical.

They go from town to town and sleep in inns for free.

Just saying.

Better than males

>>48648083
Hey you could be the comedy relief whenever you try to be relevant.

>>48648056
Bards are terrible in general. Being a women won't change that.

>>48648083
I don't really get what you'd want out of a bard/monk. If it's a "magic dancer" sort of thing I'd think you'd be better off going full bard and just making it a bit more fighty since they usually are pretty good at accommodating that

Hey guys

GUYS

Guess what

sex

Tegan and Sara, the campaign

>>48648056
I'm pro-life, so nope.

>>48648083

4e's monks and bards are pretty good, and there are themes that can represent you splashing into monk stuff and maybe some from bards.

... I assume you really want to the little to no armor look, right?

this is how i bard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNFSB4PnVPI

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockbitch

> Rockbitch became infamous not only for performing live sex acts, but also doing so with audience members via "The Golden Condom". At a point during their show, a condom was tossed to the crowd and whoever caught it (male or female) was taken backstage for sexual relations with one or more band members.

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>>48648128
>>48648190
It's 5e, so I could be helpful at least, especially given the fact that half of my group can't play optimized single classes efficiently. That's what you get when you start games with friends instead of making friends with games, but neither way is perfect
>>48648152
Unarmored defense and the ability to throw out some Dex-based flurry damage every once in a while if I'm cornered, really. Pic related would be a slightly better reference for the fighting style, since a spear is better than a shortsword for monks, though I adore Olivia's dancer outfit.

I'd feel inclined to focus on bardic shenanigans. Probably half-elf since this build can certainly use a bit of min-maxing magic. That puts me at 16 Cha, 16 Dex, 14 Wis. Top notch Buy/Standard for my casting and attacking stat, and 15 unarmored defense.
Don't know how many levels I'd put into Monk. 1 gets unarmored defense and martial arts, 2 gets a tiny Ki reserve and bonus action options/Flurry, 3 gets basic subclass goodies, 4 gets an ASI, and 5 gets Extra Attack and Stunning Strike.
Could actually be a viable support character.

>>48648289
hot

>>48648056
Played one once. It was fun being what amounted to a stoned cultist.

Made one for a MMO RP group I was part of. It was essentialy freeform but I liked the ideas I had for her. Kind of a wandering quasi-hobo, putting on street shows and literally just managing to get by every day. Had the skill, practiced a lot, and had an ego bigger than a fucking minotaur. But she was just too young, not well known enough and didn't stay around too much in one place to make it big, and the guy that taught her to play the guitar had been kicked out of the official bard guild so it's not like she had friendly contacts with other bards. Also she grew up poor as fuck with a single dad so she didn't really have a good grasp on how to spend her money, if she could be extravagant with it, she would. Thing is, she basicaly never could, but did anyway.

In a fight, she was basically all cheap shots and tricks because she was weak and the only thing she could do properly was shoot a bow, but when you mostly play in taverns that's not the handiest weapon. Had an habit of chewing herbs to spit on other people's eyes, a cape to divert attention/choke a bitch, a couple throwing knives, basicaly mostly rogue shit that she picked up from scrawny ass little thief childhood

Her end goal was to live forever, be it literally or figuratively. Both, if given the choice

Maybe one day I'll try to remake her in an actual system instead of just writing the fluff

>>48648142
Bards have been pretty powerful for at least two editions now

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>>48648056
No different from male Bards in most editions. I remember one of my first Elder Scrolls characters was a Bard. Good times.

>>48648333
Ask your GM if you can take the College of Valor and trade out the Bonus Proficiencies for the Unarmored Defence and Martial Arts class features. Assuming that your character has a Dex modifier of +3 or higher there's practically no difference. If your character feels overpowered, you can make it so that you always do 1d4 damage with your unarmed attacks, instead of scaling with level, to prevent you from rivalling the fighters in melee at later levels.

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>>48648056

They're called mermaids, OP.

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>>48648056
That they are exactly the same as male bards, only I can be sexually attracted to them as I am a straight male.

>>48648056
wat
I can't even
It's like "What is your opinion on certain type of grass"
Does anyone actually gives a fuck?

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>>48648056

theres no reason to treat female bards different from male bards is there?

>>48650320
No, except for the funny "lel bards are whores xddd" may mays.
Christ, I will never get why they're supposed to be funny.

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>>48650493
Well, I know one example of a bard who had about 1k girls...

>>48648056
i make them with dicks whether i make that blatant or not depends on how i feel.
Current dm knows and actively supports this decision.

>>48650557
Yeah, except that bards are.rogue-ish mages who perform (sing, dance, play music etc.) to cast spells. From that, you can create nearly anything, since they're jack-of-all-trades. I get that the "heavy rockstar womanizer dude bard" archetype is funny but... everyone's doing it. After a while you stop taking the whole class seriously.

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>>48649486
>"and I am a straight male"

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>>48651111
Thats not smug enough.

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>>48648056
They're sluts. Filthy, irredeemable, shameless sluts. That makes me both angry and jealous for different reasons.

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>>48648333
Unarmored defense is gonna want WIS 16+ to be better than just getting mage armor. If you want to boost melee damage as a bard, you're better going valor and//or getting the sword coast cantrips somehow, either through magical secrets or magic initiate, does it without the dissonant stat requirements and level dip. If you don't mind dipping, MCing rogue instead would get you monk like maneuverability without relying on a limited ki pool, and a slight damage boost with sneak attack too. Monks can be good MCs, but bards have better ways to achieve similar results.

>>48649254
>to prevent you from rivalling the fighters in melee at later levels
>martials arts rivaling gwm fighter

>>48651573
Image source?

>>48648289
Well today i really learn something new.

>>48651942
Looks like Raildex.