Djinn Wish Fulfilment

>>48634121
You receive a hot corpse as your dreams are dead or you recieve nothing as nothing in dreams are real or have physical substance.

I wish for unfettered omnipotence.

>>48634156
You gain unfettered omnipotence, but unfortunately for it to work you need to go to a completely different universe and start from scratch.

I wish for a million wishes.

>>48634173
Forgot your wish.

I want a pair of scissors that can cut anything.

>>48634173
Thats fucking perfect i hate this place and everything in it and this way i can make a universe with black jack and hookers with out the christians and muzzies getting uppity.

>>48634198
The scissors can cut anything, even without using the cutting part. You need to be extra careful when using them, otherwise you might cut yourself with them.

I wish for the main villain to be taken to Khatta Nadi "Sour River" from the Mandala of fortune.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/41901253/

>>48634194
Wish granted.

You can wish a million times. Nobody will be there to grant them tho.

I'd like for both Trump and Hillary to get assassinated.

>>48634220
The main villain is taken there, looks at it once, then ends up right back where he started after arriving there briefly.

I wish to have a fat cock that turns women in sluts for it.

>>48634198
They cut themselves due to the shearing action inherent in all scissors. Roll a D2 to see if this dulls them or breaks reality.
>>48634194
You now have a million wishes that the genie is not obligated to fufill due to contract limitations.

I wish for a dick that sexually satisfies anyone, including me, i have any form of sexual intercourse with fully and utterly in ways no one can hope to compete with.

File: 1367780451_rooster.jpg (96KB, 810x1024px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 810x1024px

>>48634248
You get a really huge rooster that for some reason women really want to have sex with.
The rooster acts like a normal rooster though.

>>48634237
Bernie sanders is elected president and bankrupts the country attempting to make good on his short sighted campaign pledges.
>>48634248
It has zero sensory nerves and thus can't achieve orgasm.

I wish I knew how this was a traditional game. :D

>>48634264
>The rooster acts like a normal rooster though
Roosters are dicks.

>>48634257
Your dick transforms into an Conceptual Dick that is invisible and exists on a psychic plane, where it is mentally capable of satisfying anyone's desires if they only imagine it to be doing so with no physical contact required, just as all mind-blowing imaginary sex is often satisfying.

Unfortunately since said dick is basically just an idea it appears nonexistent to everyone who looks at it so none one will actually have sex with you.

>>48634281
Djinn wish threads have been a part of /tg/ long enough for it to be traditional in the cultural sense. Combine that with it being a mental game and suddenly it fits the theme.

>>48634271
>Bernie sanders is elected president and bankrupts the country attempting to make good on his short sighted campaign pledges.

Just as planned!

>>48634281
You now know it's not a traditional game, but now you are not sure if it's even a game.

I wish to lead an army of minions

>>48634295
Well shit. Glad i included myself in that so i can bang my imagination all day.

I wish for the worlds best tasting sammich delivered to my door every day when i wake up.

File: minionsmovie.png (234KB, 633x336px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 633x336px

>>48634311
These guys show up at your side.
I wish to literally be made of fire.

>>48634322
The sandwhich is delivered to your door but the goddamn door is ALWAYS jammed just long enough that it's incredibly rare and fine ingredients loose their potency and flavor by the time you actually manage to get it open.

It smells awesome every time you try to get through the door though.

>>48634306
You monster! I'd honestly take what free years of college i could before digging into year long scholarships for not being white. If i could get to masters free i'd be set and able to live life relatively debt free.

>>48634311
You lead an army of minions against forces of Light and Good. You are doomed to die today.

I wish for whatever i drink becomes cold. Not colder than 5C.

>>48634311
You are granted 450 small green goblin-like minions, who are mentally retarded to the point of being vegetables.

I wish for a second djinn who can grant me more wishes.

>>48634326
You dissipate into the atmosphere due to entropy.
>>48634335
They say smell is 6/10ths the equation of taste.

I wish for a canteen that replenishes itself to a full state every hour.

>>48634344
Whenever you drink one of these the temperature is always cold.
http://www.idrink.com/v.html?id=35350

>>48634350
A second djinn appears who CAN grant you more wishes.
But he doesn't.
>>48634365
The canteen is always filled with moose urbi

>>48634365
The canteen is always filled with moose urine every hour.

I wish for really big feet.

File: Red_Scorpion_Terminator.jpg (81KB, 749x779px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 749x779px

I wish to purge the unclean

>>48634344
Your body temperature is raised by the amount of temperature difference the beverage is from 0 fahrenheit.

I wish to have a woman of my exact wants to be in a lifelong, dedicated, sexually and emotional faithful relationship

>>48634379
You got 1(One) FREE FEET CANCER!

>>48634387
You can purge the unclean, but at night you start to wonder if you are being corrupted and are in fact now unclean. Also, gene stealers.

>>48634365
It replenishes itself with salt water.

I wish for a drug which makes sleep unnecessary.

>>48634387
You get a bottle of really good house cleaner.
>>48634390
She appears, and she is in one.
Not with you though.

I wish to piss thunderbolts.

>>48634387
You have an insatiable urge to clean the unbathed.
>>48634379
Your feet are so huge they've recursively gone around space and time and into themselves and have ended up, perceptually, to be smaller than they originally were.

>>48634403
The drug turns you into an unfeeling biological robot that needs no rest, but neither do you feel joy or anything else thanks to how dead your nerves and brain is from reducing the need for sleep.

I wish for the djinn to truthfully explain why he's such an asshole about this.

>>48634401
>>48634405
>>48634416
[Holds back termina-tears]

>>48634405
Your dick hurts when you are doing it

>>48634387
Your job is now helping elderly deathcamp commendants and heroin addicts to wash their bodies.

>>48634405
Gah shit i knew that wish was missing something and i just couldn't figure it out.

You suffer at all times from near fatal plasma discharge of the pelvic region.

I want vision equivalent with the accuity of a hawk and the color spectrum of a mantis shrimp.

I wish to endlesly float in space while still alive.

>>48634405
Urinating is incredibly painful for you, and whenever you take a leak, your toilet explodes into a fiery ball of porcelain.

I want to be able to make anyone dance just by thinking about them.

>>48634451
You think about dead person and he rises from the grave to dance. He is going back to grave after he finishes dancing, he stays here.

>>48634425
Its funny.
>>48634451
They know it's you thats causing them to do this and they'll probably call the authorities or try and stop you themselves, probably with capoeira. >>48634429
You sir have earned one wish i will only mild fuck you on for your giggle inducing wordplay.

>>48634425
>I wish for the djinn to truthfully explain why he's such an asshole about this.

He's an asshole because he fucked your mom, who doesn't really love you or your father, and found it fairly unsatisfying.
>>48634436
You gain merged head of a hawk with the eyeballs of a mantis shrip, complete with all the physical limitations of both creature's heads.
>>48634450
You can a 5 by ten space which you float endlessly while still alive.

I wish to be super unpopular.

>>48634481
I can live with a beaked mantis shrimp head with swiveling eyes. Maybe wearing a fishbowl full of water.

>>48634450
Wish granted.

You are on a planet floating in space.

I wish that the genie will attempt to fulfil any further wishes made of him in an honest, non-malicious manner in the way the wishers desire.

>>48634474
I wish to redeem myself in the name of the emperor

>>48634491
Hawks can't breathe water and you have the limitations of both.

>>48634491
Oops.
You're so unpopular people don't even know you exist. Oddly enough thats pretty standard living conditions given humanities population size.

>>48634493
He attempts to, but fails.
>>48634497
You redeem yourself in his NAME, but nobody likes or agrees with how you did it and calls you a heretic for doing it in such an unorthodox way.

I wish to trip over cats constantly.

>>48634497
Emperor now thinks you are OK, but honestly he didnt really like that you change his mind by striking a deal with some demonic warp creature, instead of proving your courage and faith on the battlefield.

>>48634481
Sure thing, LITERALLY HITLER.

I wish for all crimes committed by me to be pardoned while I am still alive, both past, present and future ones.

>>48634498
I'll have my lungs intubated and a protected stoma installed. Now I'm amphibious.
>>48634497
You have been tasked with an unending undying war in the eye of terror.

>>48634512
You constantly trip into yet more cats. >>48634531
You shall be pardoned on your deathbed in prison shortly before you expire. >>48634534
Oops. I wish to see 20 more of the color spectrum than your average human women with that bullshit sees everything gene.

>>48634531
You get forgiven by everyone you commit a crime against, and they don't hold it against you in the long run.
You still have to go to jail though.

I wish to have radioactive farts.

File: 1293826039472.jpg (470KB, 1333x1000px) Image search: [Google]

470KB, 1333x1000px

I wish my face was fixed

I wish that everyone infected with HIV died of a brain aneurysm the next time they fall asleep.

>>48634549
One of the spectrum of colors is so vibrant and common that it's like looking into snow during a sunny day; all you see is the one color at all times and it's hard to differentiate between anything, rendering you nearly blind.
>>48634559
He takes off your face and fixes it.
You don't get it back.

I wish could jump good.

>>48634552
You now fart polonium.
>>48634559
Your face has now been spayed and/or neutered. I'm not quite sure what that means or entails.

>>48634574
They do, but they come back the next day.
I wish I could eat a buttered lobster roll.

>>48634577
You jump gooder than the rest of your respective race but blacks will always have mad hops in comparison to your bellcurve skewing statline.
>>48634574
AIDS and HIV victims no longer require sleep.

I wanna be the guy.

>>48634577
you jump good, but leg bones are not stronger, so good luck landing un-shattered

I wish you can never grant another wish.

>>48634597
You are the guy, but your web series still gets canceled eventually when your creators get married and have children.

>>48634586
You can physically ingest a buttered lobster roll but you are highly allergic and a particularly nasty lifelong bodyguard has been given the task of suicide watch over you.

I wanna be the best, like no one ever was.

>>48634597
>I wanna be the guy
You are fighting ith your father. Only one of you leaves alive.

>>48634608
He agrees, and then clones himself to continue his dickery, satisfied that his work can go on.
>>48634614
You are the best.
Nobody actually cares though, which is something nobody else has ever managed to do before.

>>48634621
Been there done that.

I wish for all magic to no longer exist.

>>48634674
You go braindead

Walk away

>>48634674
All advanced technology beyond writing is dead.

>>48634614
You are granted the incredible ability to keep your eyes open a second longer than any other human on the planet. No one has any interest in it.

I want to die, right this instant.

>>48634210
>Thats fucking perfect i hate this place and everything in it and this way i can make a universe with black jack and hookers with out the christians and muzzies getting uppity.

Oh Anon, he never gave you a way to get there.

>>48634704
Your wish to not take part in the genie's games has anger the genie.

>>48634729
You are dead and the rest of your "life" is painfull hallucination in your diying brain.

>>48634730
My imagination is a universe unto itself. >>48634729
You've been dead inside all along but your physical body lingers on.

I wish for you to go back to your home.

>>48634747
I want to shit myself.

>>48634775
You literally shit YOURSELF.
The process is excruciating and takes years to pass a full-grown copy of yourself through your intestines and asshole.
>>48634767
He lives here, actually.

>>48634793
Yay! I wasted my wish!

I wish to be able to induce sneezing in other people just by thinking about it.

I wish to be good mutual friends with the djinn.

>>48634976
You become good friends. He wants to crash at your place constantly and mooches off you emotionally and physically. But you can't seem to be able to cut your relationship or think ill of him.

File: UNTIL IT IS DONE.png (104KB, 198x277px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 198x277px

I wish to kill stuff more deader.

>>48635456
You kill things so much deader they ressurect in their next life right before your eyes.

I wish to be able to grill the best steaks ever.

>>48635456
You kill yourself and the bacteria on your body in such a way that they are deader than anything else which had ever lived.


I wish for the ability to decide on the rate and direction at which I travel through time at will and as often as I choose relative to the instance of the Earth on which I am currently living with no cost to myself, without any additional changes to my velocity relative to this planet caused directly by this wish or by the abilities granted by this wish, without having my body or mind altered by the effects of this wish in any way except for a way to access the abilities granted by the wish that I would consider convenient and easy to use both before and after the granting of the wish.

>>48635542
The Djinn misunderstood your wish and though you wanted to be able to grill the best STAKES ever. You are now the best (and only) stake griller in all of the land.

I wish for the death of the human race.

>>48635582
The Olympics are promptly canceled

>>48635577
>without any additional changes to my velocity relative to this planet caused directly by this wish
You now have to make sure your point in spacetime is within safe distance of the earths surface.

>>48635582
The human race is already dead and we're just hollow shells keeping up the act.

I wish for the best wish ever.

>>48635622
Just curious, how is this condition being violated? Is the djinn teleporting me?

>>48635582
The phrase 'the human race' is redefined to only include you. You are then killed.

>>48635699
You said you wanted your relative position using the wishes power unchanged to earths relative position. Earth not only moves around the sun but through space. You want your position unchanged despite earths relative position therefore you'd be floating in space if you attempt that trick for any appreciable amount of time.

>>48635624
>I wish for the best wish ever.
Your wish is constantly changing to what is currently at the moment considered the best wish ever (by the rest of your species), with no explanation or warning. The consequences of the previous wishes often remain.

I wish to have no problems but able to retain what I consider happiness.

Genie, you're free.

File: 1466377628227.jpg (23KB, 228x346px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 228x346px

>>48635624
>You never defined the best wish ever, so I'll define it for you, you get transformed into the waifu of MY wish's genie.

>I wish to become a SPOOKY ASS SKELETON

>>48635799
Your skeleton becomes sentient and attempts to free itself from your still living flesh.

I wanna become the bestest most successful lich ever.

>>48635819
>Your friends and loved ones pass as you find loneliness as the only lich ever

>I want to be rich!

>>48635827
You're rich in experiences you've never had. Go and cash that check!

I wish a $20 to appear in my hand whenever i wish from a random bank account unrelated to my own even tangential.

>>48635799
>I wish to become a SPOOKY ASS SKELETON
You become a skeleton made entirely of pelvic bones.

File: 1467888017055.gif (2MB, 360x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 360x240px

>>48635918
Good. I'mma spook the shit outta everyone.

File: 1469759152758.jpg (59KB, 573x430px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 573x430px

>>48635907
The transaction is recorded whenever you do so, and is accessible to the police.

I wish I was happy.

>>48634121
She is comprised of everybody you have every dreamed of. Or had a nightmare about.

>>48634156
You are completely omnipotent, but you have no knowledge on how to actually access your omnipotence

>>48634194
As others have said, no one has to grant those wishes

>>48634198
including your hands as you go to use them. Or the atoms surrounding the blade, so the second you go to use them they explode in nuclear fission

>>48634220
The villain is taken there, has a relaxing 2 week vacation where nothing bad happens to them, then returns, refreshed as ever

>>48634237
Congrats, you've been given a sniper rifle, a vantage point on the debate and 2 bullets. No guarantees you won't be caught though

>>48634248
no exceptions. Your mother, sisters, granddaughters, teachers, elderly women, etc.
although, that's still not as good as >>48634264

>>48634257
You are now a sentient dildo

>>48634322
it is literally delivered to your door, who proceeds to eat it, and you too if you try to stop it

>>48634311
"REVOLUTION"

>>48634326
with no source of fuel, you dissipate instantly

>>48634344
Your blood becomes the temperature the drink was supposed to be

>>48634350
he's even worse with punishments than the first one, where the consequences undo the wish entirely before adding extra damage

>>48634365
it's all your least favorite food, and is always rotting

>>48634379
Your feet are 7ft long, to the point where you can no longer walk

>>48634387
You become unclean yourself

>>48634390
she wants to be with you, but she cannot, as she is in a high-security prison for life without parole

>>48634403
it makes all other biological functions constantly necessary to compensate

>>48634405
you are incontinent

>>48634425
He explains it in a long-dead language that requires organs you do not have to understand

>>48634436
as a result, your eyes look fucked up and are the size of dinner plates, so people feel uneasy around you

>>48634450
when you die, you;ll burn up in orbit

I wish for a turkey sandwich.

>>48635940
You are happy! Just your happiness to depression ratio is unbalanced and you appear a ruined wreck of a human as a result.

I wish to be able to have sexual intercourse from whoever i want without any legal or negative repercussions just for the asking.
>>48635961
You are given a T(ofu)rkey sammich.

>>48635961
You are given the turkey sandwich according to your own directions ; Plot-twist, you don't trust me at all and decide just not to eat it.

>>48635743
I specified relative to earth, not the sun. I move with the earth, same as before the wish. If I'm not moving relative to the planet before the wish, that doesn't get changed.

I wish for my own penis to grow to be ten inches in length and retain its normal girth while remaining fully-funcional and still attached to my body.

>>48635989
Your relative velocity and inertia is whatever direction earth is currently shoving you in anon. If you don't want that to change relative to earth while simultaneously going through time you'd shoot off in whatever direction you were initially heading in out towards the black depths.

>>48636018
Its entirely nerveless however its internal mechanism and functions are on key and will be well into old age.

>>48636043
But without nerves that means it isn't fully-functional. If it loses the sense of touch, it loses function.

>>48636063
No it functions just fine. It engorges quicker and firmer than most, stays that way longer without incuring damage, can ejaculate if i assume in this case the prostate is worked, due to the previouw fact your extra virile sperm will ensure babies every time, and will continue to do all of these without the need for help into old age. All fuctions are there. Pleasure is not a function but a feature. Just like pain.

File: Akinator genie.png (73KB, 291x411px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 291x411px

>le the genie/demon/wizard grants you wishes but OMG they are twisted and corrupted! Be carfl wut u wiz for! XD

Is there a worse fucking 'trope' in all of fantasy and media? It completely undermines the entire point of wishes if they are fucked up every time. It's so goddamn boring and stupid. Wishes should be plot elements that actually fix or change up the plot in a big way, or the only negatives to a wish is seeing how powerful they really are and feeling the full ramifications for them.

And no, for the ten thousandth fucking time saying "I wish for a mansion" and then having the genie make it appear on top of you crushing you is not fucking clever or interesting in any way. It's among the laziest bullshit you can absolutely shove into a work of fiction and even worse, it tends to have some kind of lazy and sloppy moral message of 'lol be careful what you wish for' as if wishing for a better life and working towards it by any means necessary is not a core aspect of the human condition. What, is the genie corruption thing trying to imply that wishing for something is a 'shortcut' and therefore not valid for getting something? Or that people are supposed to be content being unhappy because 'lol wut if you actually GOT what you want?! OMG how do you know it wouldn't actually be worse'

Nothing makes me more angry then this bullshit. I am very disappointed in you /tg/.

>>48634451
Once they start they cannot stop until they die of exhaustion

>>48634481
you are so unpopular the population hates you and seeks to remove you and all your kin from existence

>>48634493
since this doesn't apply to yours, he fails whenever attempting to do so

>>48634531
all crimes committed against you shall be pardoned too, to make it fair

>>48634512
they're all super adorable so you'll feel bad

>>48634552
enjoy your asshole cancer

>>48634559
the rest of your body was mutilated to get the right materials

>>48634574
As each one dies, they write your name and address on the nearest wall

>>48634577
you can jump good. once. then you can never fall down again.

>>48634597
You are the guy. The guy responsible for every crime and accident in the world, and shall be punished accordingly

>>48634608
I shall only grant one wish per person, they shall not get another

>>48634614
You are eternally 10 years old and can never smash

>>48634674
it doesn't exist anyway, I manipulate the universe through divine intervention

>>48634729
You will die, reliving and redying forever, trapped in this instant

>>48634767
I am home, you are standing in my home, asshole

>>48634775
>>48634793

>>48634905
whenever you think about someone, they sneeze until their lungs collapse and their brain comes out

>>48634976
*djinn has added you as a friend*
*djinn has sent you 1000 candy crush requests*

>>48635456
you kill stuff so dead it has never existed, and your bloodlust rages on until all that is left is yourself

>>48635542
you no longer have a mouth to eat them with

>>48635577
You have to calculate where in space you'll land

>>48635582
and in their place, the kittens rise

>>48635624
you know it for a second, then immeidately forget it, spending the rest of your life going mad, until you claw your eyes out

>>48636107
Well damn. Guess I need to be far more specific next time.

>character meets a wish-granting entity
>"hey do you take your wishes in writing"
>"I guess so"
>spend an hour with the party drafting up page-long highly-speciffic wishes that cover every loophole they could imagine

>>48636112
Fear not. I never implyed that anyone use this as advice when gm'ing. It's just silly fun.

I do understand your point too. But the point of a dickish djinn or genie is conflict. And also that the world doesn't revolve around you. If someone is bound by magical contract to give you a wish, but the contract is so loose that he may technically grant you the wish and still you gain nothing from it or get off worse than before can be a fun concept imo.

Otherwise, fuck me man, I'm just the biggest faggot any OP ever was.

>>48636206
>Level 12 Lawyering

>>48634497
You find yourself in front of advancing chaos tank battalion, armed only with two grenades and a knife.

Fight well and die standing guardsman, for the Emperor may you redeem yourself in heat of battle.

>>48636253
A wish is something you don't want to fuck up man
>drag the genie to the local court of law
>dump all my cash into the absolute best lawyer I can find
>have him write up our contracts

>>48636311
This might actually be a fun character idea.
Lawyer getting all his power from powerful, contractually bound, magic creatures.

>>48634281
Genies are a part of traditional game. They're also very hard to deal with in combat so they make good lieutenants or BBEGs :D

>>48636206
>spend an hour
>one hour
>kek
It is not enough by far. And that's why you bring lawyer with you when going to search for wishes.

>>48636107

You're wrong and you're stupid.

>I will sell you the best camera
>It has 1000x optical zoom with perfect resolution, does film and digital, can imput universally with any device, has multiple frame and picture settings, and has an unlimited storage space
>But it can't actually take pictures through the lens
>Lol but it's fully functional XDDD
>This is 'fully functional' to this retard

>>48636478
Nah. Fully functional internals and everything but it doesn't have film. You now have to find film and figure out how to put it in. Also the function of a penis is procreation not pleasure.

>>48636577
Would you consider a video game with no video output to be fully-functional? The gameplay is the deepest, the story is amazing and the music will make you melt... but you can't get past the tutorial because you can't see shit.

>>48636664
Again your misinterpreting it entirely. It's like owning the best game ever but your controller is broken. The games good and you can give it to others who can play it but you don't get to enjoy it.

>>48635961
You land in the middle of Istanbul and see a slice of bread on the ground. The other slice is buried underneath the earth's crust.
Enjoy.

One wish? Damn.

I wish the genie to be once again trapped within his lamp.

Sorry, djinn, but I've thought this through and am up-to-date with my Arabian folklore. You could be good or evil, but the possibility of what you could do if evil vastly outweighs the things you could do if good.

Afterwards I seek out an imam and sit down with the guy trying to figure out what to do with this.

Also I'm probably Muslim now. 'Cause, y'know, djinn are real.