Mages Guild: Best Wizard Staff Edition

>>48592071
>Iris shrinks back from the crowd hesitantly.

>>48592071
Here's the coffee and pastries for the meeting, along with the paper work you have all fallen behind on

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Pfff, people are still using wooden staves?

>>48592101
Hey, hey, you!
I'll show you my wizard staff if ya' know what I mean!
>they snicker

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>>48592071
PFFFT, you people actually still use wooden staves to channel your magic!

>>48592101
I know right! It's primitive to say the least!

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>>48592148
>He shakes his head
Really? You want to try that with ME?
>>48592199
Yeah! I got this sweet ass staff to channel magic. I'm working on cooler prototypes but this is the only one I'm relying on.
>Pic related

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>>48592100
Thank you Mortimer, I'm getting the feeling I'm going to really need that coffee this meeting.
>>48592101
>>48592171
Of course we do, it's traditional.

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>clears his throat

While I'm the sure my staff isn't the most powerful, I'm sure it's the most aesthetically pleasing.

This one just uses hir paws....

>>48592231
But they break too easily!
Why don't you use mystical metals instead of mystical wood?
>>48592262
Hm... Aren't you that new kid Lurco adopted or something?

>>48592231
Trust me, your going to need it once you see how much paperwork you have left to do

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I don't use a staff, but a sword is probably close enough.
>"Boss, are you comparing me to a stick?"
No, I'm saying you're the best stick.
>"I'll take it."

>>48592297
Uh...yes? It was on business here, and...This one got left behind.

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>>48592217
Metal is terrible for handling necromancy, you want a staff that has a connection to the magic you're casting.
>>48592244
Silver? I suppose it's good for some branches of magic but it's a terrible fit for mine. I'll give it points for the design not going overboard like I've seen with some staffs the current generation is using, just look at this thing! Too much decoration, too little staff!
>>48592297
Break too easy? Only if you make them wrong. And if anyone is close enough to break your staff then you have other things you should be worrying about.
>>48592309
I don't doubt it, what's the main bulk of it? Complaints? Applications for new mages? Taxes?

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GENTLEMEN

LOOK AT ALL THE STARS

>Crackrockius is twitching around as if he were a walking earthquake

I think I've succeeded in my research of creating a enchantment which allows you to see unseen magic!!

What are you PEOPLE! Discussing?

Pic related, is me

>>48592340
All that plus your renewal contract

>>48592335
I've got to agree with you there. Nothing beats a good old fashioned sword.

>>48592340
Lazarus, are you quite sure that's a staff? It looks like something my brother would sport...

>>48592335
She's hardly a staff, foci sure, but it's no traditional wizard staff.
>>48592361
Wizard staffs, and what's the best material to make them out of.
>>48592369
Right... It's a good thing I have other forms of income considering I'm almost working for free these days.

>>48592374
Hello, I don't believe we've met. Who may you be?

>>48592388
The student I confiscated it from insisted that it was a staff, personally I'm not sure if it should qualify.

>>48592335
Hm, yeah, a talking stick is pretty good...
>>48592339
I see. Well I'm his friend Gluglobul.
What's your name?
>>48592340
Are you sure you just haven't found the right magical alloy, Lazarus?
And what's the point in having a staff if you're too afraid to bash someone over the head with it if they get too close?

>>48592391
How do you consider 3% of the annual budget as "free"?

>>48592411
I would tend to agree with you.

Any luck restoring sentience to the draconic fossil I sent to your department?

>>48592411
>Iris pauses looking at it.
This isn't a staff, it's a ceremonial gnoll sword.

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>Loud bubbling noises as he appears in a haze of smoke. It makes you lightheaded
BEHOLD!
>Bubble bubble
MY STAFF!
>Its a bong of incredibly high quality attached to a generic quarterstaff like you could buy in any town in Aen

>>48592428
Oh uh... This one is... Iris. Or, that is what Lurco has named it.

>>48592410
>He'd push out his hand, in an offer to shake your own.
Brell. Brell Oregetha. I was hire on near the end of the winter semester to teach elemental magic, as well as life and adventurer skills.
>He'd flash the man a charming smile
It's pleasure to meet you mister...?

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This is Focii-ist. What about those of who don't use staffs? Wand users and Battlemages who channel through swords? Not everyone has as magnificent of a focus as we do. Just like none of you have as magnificent of a focus as /i/ do

>>48592428
I've been using staffs for millennia, it's not so much that I haven't found the right magical alloy as it is that I've found the perfect kinds of wood. Living wood, especially old wood, make amazing Necromancer Staffs. Spines work very well too, but they look terrible so I haven't used those since the Third Age.
>>48592431
You would be surprised how little of that ends up in my pockets. I've been working almost for free since that time I killed the Archwizard. It's a good thing he has a sense of humour.
>>48592434
It hasn't been a priority so I haven't gotten around to it.
>>48592435
That's very likely.
>>48592447
Hmm... I've seen worse.

>>48592520
>Bubble bubble
>Thumbs up

>>48592391
I kind of use, alchemy for most of my work but I do have a staff somewhere, or then I sold it... not really sure...

I'M HAVING!! ..Issues with my memory...

>>48592476
Ah! My brother's replacement.
>The Dragonborn shakes with both hands, bowing slightly and offering a quant smile

I am Professor Glaive Oakenheart, I tend the Dragonology Department. Your students often come to my lectures on draconic hoards and the presentations on dragon combatives. Certainly better than my brother's charges; they only came to see how to slay or seduce Dragons.

I'm sorry I couldn't greet you earlier, I was away on Pilgrimage.

Uh... I have no strong opinions on staves one way or the other?

>>48592508
>He'd mumble under his breath.
Say hello to the narcissist everybody...

>>48592520
>The man would shake his head at this.
I don't understand why everyone has to backstab each other around here. It's completely unnecessary.

>>48592520
Understandable. But please do inform me when you make progress. My lack of knowledge on ancient grooming practices and Aenic Metallic musical theory is proving to be quite vexing.

>>48592447
Nice to meet you Iris. Do you want to go back to your new home or would you like to wait here for your dad to come back?
>>48592508
Incindia, what's the purpose in not having one of every kind of foci?
>>48592520
Uhuh... My staff is still better than yours.

>>48592508
That's their choice to chose a lesser foci, staffs are superior to all variants of the spell focused wizard.
>>48592536
Is it your first staff?
>>48592544
Did you inhale the fumes of one too many potions? They tend to mess with your mind for a bit.
>>48592568
Don't you at least have a staff? Or have I just assumed?
>>48592578
I'll have you know I put the dagger through his chest, and had every intention to bring him back. No permanent harm was done, and I accepted my punishment for the incident it caused.
>>48592584
Very well.
>>48592595
Really? What does your staff do for you then?

>>48592595
Because you can only use one efficiently at a time. Remember that apprentice who tried to patent 'gangsta' style wand use and died horribly due to magical feedback?
>>48592578
>>48592595
MY STAFF IS SUPERIOR!
>>48592616
Doesn't change that they should get a chance to /try/ to prove its better than my staff.

>>48592551
Ah, not to worry my friend.
>He'd return the mans smile with one of his own.
I'm usually away on various adventuring outings with my own students. After all, the arch-wizard doesn't really give us much of a budget, so we've got to make our own! Also, I'm sorry to hear about your brother professor. His theories on werewolf combative procedures are well known throughout the world.

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>>48592101
Seriously?

Not cool, Glug.

>>48592508
>>48592595
>Iris hides behind Gluglobul.
Is it always so, falmboyant, no? She scares this one.

>the twitching "mage" would present a jar, filled with crystals in varying colorations

G-g-g-gentlemen!

My latest batch... I haven't had time to name my new invention, but the results are INCREDIBLE the substance is in a crystalline form, and can be dissolved into water, or ingested directly trough the mouth.

YOU SEE!! The effects of this...substance, is that it greatly increases the agressiveness and energy of a..uh...ANYONE! Who were to ingest it.

The dosage is still a problem, because some have died due to presumed overdose

But the preliminary results WOULD IMPLICATE!! that it is a success

>>48592616
You're not supposed to inhale the fumes?

>>48592616
I don' use a staff really. Ne'er saw the point. But e'eryone seemed so focused on them so I went and bought one.
>Shrug
>Bubble bubble

>>48592626
>With a sarcastic tone of voice
Keep telling yourself that sweetie. Maybe it'll come true!

>>48592616
I mean, I have one, but I didn't exactly start learning in a stave-heavy environment. I had bigger concerns than what focus I used.

>>48592637
Of course I am, I'm a pyromancer. I should be all sorts of flaming.
... heh.
>>48592660
I already know its true.

>>48592656
shit, there was a drugomancer already, eh, whoops, although my title has more words in it and is thereby superior :^)

Herbal treatments? I-If I may ask?

>>48592687
>Iris sticks hir tongue while still crouching behind Gluglobul
This one was not talking to it!

>>48592696
>Dankinus is kind of like that one professor in college who has tenure and nobody really knows what he does anymore
What about em?
>Bubble bubble

>>48592626
Hmm... I see your point. It doesn't feel very sporting to humiliate them like that. But if you want to let them make a try, then give them the chance.
>>48592630
Hmm... a bit short and thin perhaps, but otherwise a very traditional geomancy staff. I approve.
>>48592651
Generally? No, it's not advised to inhale thee fumes of the potions while they are still cooking. Am I right to assume you do it every time you make a potion?
>>48592656
I see... more of a lab person then?
>>48592679
A very fair point.

>>48592651
Gods above... We already have a drugged out Arch-Wizard running around, spending half the guilds wealth on cocaine. Do we REALLY need another drugged up hippie wizard around here?

>>48592723
For the first... I wanna say year, year and a half, I didn't even know what a focus was.

>>48592629
Oh don't feel sorry for Dramorn. Pity is the last thing he needs, yet pity and alcohol is the only thing he seems to barter in now.

He'll turn around at some point, then drag me along to fight some unfathomable evil before drowning himself in whores and whiskey again. He's nothing if not predictable. I'm not surprised that the Battle Magic Subdivision is tight on coin, Dramorn always did have trouble acquiring funds from Applied Magic. I would be willing to provide income for your services, however, since Aen seems to be riddled with Draconic relics just beyond my own means.

>>48592616
Why it does many things.
It channels my magic efficiently, it has it's own internal necrotic energy and is able to shoot out necrotic beams, which honestly thinking the metal would probably be extremely suited to channeling necromancy.
Oh, and it's able to be wielded effectively like a mace and is able to strike steel without damage.
>>48592626
Now that's silly. First off, you're implying that having multiple foci means you have to use them all at once, and secondly, the idea that someone actually tried that is pathetic.
Also, your staff sucks compared to mine.
>>48592630
Look, I'm just stating facts. There is at least some kind of mystical metal better suited to channeling everyone's magic.
>>48592637
Yeah, don't worry about her.
She's just hot headed.

Ook

>>48592687
>He'd pat the pyromancer on the head, as if she were a small child with dreams of becoming an astronaut.
Mhm! I bet it's true!

>>48592719
Well that's not nice to do.

>>48592727
Ey man, You lookin' for a fight? Don' diss my department. Even if I have no clue who that kid is.
>>48592723
Nah. Just use my hands. Its how it used to be done ya know?

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>>48592723
I made it myself a good 4 or 5 years ago, before the guild. I've no plans to replace it until it breaks.

>>48592743
I would love to see this mystery metal you claim to have.

>>48592742
>The mans brow would perk up at hearing about extra funding.
Do go on Professor... I wouldn't be surprised if some of our recent trophy's are something you might have been looking for.

>>48592722
J-just curious
>stares at the process, eyes glazed

Pardon me
>proceeds to crack a smaller one of the brightly colored crystals into a smaller piece then eats the piece...
>>48592723
I manufacture potions of varying degrees, my laboratorium is constantly filled with fumes, paint fumes, potion fumes, smoke, dragon fumes...

It's a hostile environment, one time my house exploded, no reason why, I was lucky to be out on business...

>>48592727
I'M NOT A hippie...

and secondly, I BRING MONEY IN

instead of draining on the treasury, my PRODUCTS are well sought within the barbarian, orc, and certain mercenary factions...

Although I have met a few druids who have sought me out for the vision-enhancing potions...

>tosses a sack of gold coins at his feet

THERE! MY ...membership FEES!!

>>48592743
>Iris mumbles something
>>48592753
This one does not think it is so nice either.

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>>48592719
Ever had third degree burns on the entire surface of your tongue?
>>48592723
SO IT SHALL BE!
PRESENT FOCII!
>>48592743
There are few magically inclined folk who lack a preferred focii to be interested in using others but I suppose you COULD have more than one if you really wanted. I have two I suppose.
>>48592753
>You smell something like cooking meat.
>You should probably check your hand

>>48592754
>He'd attempt to fan the scent of drugs, and shame wafting up from the man away from himself.

Please move back a few feet... you absolutely reek of sadness, shame, and soiled underwear.

>A red portal appears on the ground.

>A Chrome skeleton claw emerges and pulls up a massive dragon made of chrome skeletons

>Between its teeth are the remains of whhat seem to be a flying metal creature, as indicated by wings jutting from the teeth.

>Slowly cheewing, the creature scans the room

"What is going on here?"

>>48592810
Once...On a bet!

>>48592810
Are you setting people on fire?

>>48592835
Stick waving contest.

>>48592835
Ook

>>48592798
As you're well aware, the Metallic true dragons of Aen are long extinct. It is my goal as a cleric of Io to see their return and restore order to the world. However that has been a rather...daunting task? So, barring the completion of that I would see the return of their culture and history, as well as gain insight to their disappearance.

I would be willing to pay handsomely, especially considering the risks involved.

>>48592831
Son, It ain't often I meet someone with less sense than myself these days but you best respect your elders. I'm as old as the Archwizard and I'm the reason why hes always high as a kite. You know what they say, Talk shit get hit.
>Pause
>Bubble bubble
>>48592801
Aite. You like, a new member of my department then? you need a map?
>Bubble bubble
Or a chill pill maybe.

>>48592738
Well that's hardly your fault, it's a shame we still have places with such disregard for magical education. Or the magical arts in general as it is in this case.
>>48592743
Very well, let me tell you what the advantage of mine is. First, it's lighter and better balanced, secondly, it's alive and thus capable of joining me in the Realm of the Dead, and thirdly you're cheating with outsider materials. Is that thing even from our universe?
>>48592752
For the last time, my book is due until tomorrow, you'll have it first thing in the morning.
>>48592754
Fair enough...
>>48592787
Even better, a personalised foci is usually better than a standard one.
>>48592801
Do you make any healing potions? I find that one can never have too many of those. Saves the effort of bringing people back from the dead. Or having to be brought back yourself.
>>48592810
My staff is fairly standard, made from Shadowoak from the Wraithwoods, I've carved it personally and fitted it with the skull of a powerful wizard.

>>48592787
Mystical, not mystery.
Like geomancy can be channeled as greatly through the metal silmarith as any wooden equivalent.
>>48592809
You say something, kiddo?
>>48592810
I have several, just to know I have them.
Also don't threaten one of Lurco's daughters.
>>48592835
YOUR STAFF SUCKS!

>>48592835
Interesting, you wouldn't happen to be a Steel Dragon, would you?

>>48592876
No need for rudeness to our Draconic guest, Master Gluglobul.

>>48592810
>His hand would be perfectly fine actually. After all, he'd be dumping copious amounts of water and ice upon the pyromancer. Not to mention, he's covered his hand Inf heat resistant rock.
You've got quite the 'fiery' temper there I see. Every thought about finding work as a dwarfs furnace?
>He'd flash her a charming smile.

>>48592374
>"Good, debatable, old fashioned, true, but I stil take offense."
>>48592391
I don't take all too much stock in tradition, to be fair.

>>48592847
"I see. I remember doing that in my younger days. Childish things, really. Until, of course, he calls your stick a stick. Back then, a man was disintegrated for saying such heresy."

>Continues chewing the creature

>>48592855
"And who might you be?"

>>48592876
>Menacing glare
"Ill rek u u little fegit, swear on me hellish cuthulhu."

>>48592879
"Chrome, to be exact. I recently was fused into this body."

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>today's topic

>>48592859
Hmm...

Didn't a Biomancer bring Obsidia's silver back to life then kill it to harvest a replacement organ?
>Ponders

>>48592874
You know exactly where I learned and exactly why it's like that.

>>48592906
Eh, my first focus was a steak knife

>>48592874
I recreated it in this universe so technically it is.
It's a metal called Necrodermis and it is a living metal.
>>48592898
. . .You've been gone for months, what are you doing here? I know who that guy is, I have every right to talk shit with him.
>>48592906
Bring it on you hunk of junk! I've seen rat traps scarier than you!
>He responds with a cheeky grin

>>48592874
Ook
>goes off to find banana

>>48592906
Ook

>>48592876
>Iris mutters to Gluglobul
These ones are very strange, are they always so boisterous?

>>48592871
I deal in high quality potions, and other digestible temporary enchantments.

Like these crystals... try them out man, you'll get off your ass and do all the things a hundred times over...makes you feel like a king...trust me... good stuff.
>tosses a crystal shard

That should be enough for at least 3-5 doses.

>>48592874
I'm not really sure of the medicinal applications of my products, I seem to only be able to accidentally kill some test subjects... Then again I use the nearby orc village as a testing ground, their warlord is highly amused by the results of most of the tests...

>>48592859
Then I've definitely got a few things for you my friend! Just the other week, my students and I cleared out a kobold clans lair. Turns out they had a massive statue at the back which they were worshiping.

Some of my students had it examined and it turned out it might be one of the artifacts you seek.

>>48592841
Huh. Not the answer I expected.
>>48592847
Not my fault.
>>48592874
Meteorite Metal with a Solarum crystal focus. Because it's not a proper staff if it isn't explosive.
Also the grimoire, But its not as cool. >>48592876
I threaten whomever I please.

>>48592835
A freaking dragon! AND IT'S NOT TRYING TO KILL ME FOR ENTERING THE KITCHEN

HA-HA... I MUST HAVE TAKEN A BIT TOO MUCH

But where's the gnome?

>>48592874
Thank you.

>>48592876
Do you have a single fact to back that up?

>>48592947
>He stares at it before tossing the crystal into his mouth, Theres a pause and then a bubble bubble
You pass.
I' would teach you, provided you're here for that.
>bubble bubble
Whaddya call it?

>>48592973
Also, you're lighting the floor in fire at this point...
>He'd conjure up a good sixty gallon ball of water over her head.
>He'd then drop it on her in an effort to extinguish her.
You know the rules Missy!

>>48592906
Indeed!
>His professional demeanour is barely restraining the excitement of a giddy child
You are one of Aen's ancient Metallics?!

>>48592924
Pardon?

>>48592928
I made pilgrimage to Azahad, where a great shrine to Io lay within the ribs of the ancient dragon Ja'Hazad, guarded by the Tweleve Azure Blades of the Blue Dragonlord. It was quite an impressive site. Afterwords I traveled to the Guild of Cloth to treat with the cultists of Tiamat and the Brotherhood of the Silvered Wing, a monastic order to Bahamut, that resided there. I returned just in time for this meeting.

>>48592962
Indeed? I would very much so like to see this effigy after the proceedings.

>>48592905
Well I do. And as such, robe, hat and staff are all essential to own as a wizard. Have you always had your sword or have you ever had other focii Adam?
>>48592924
Which is why I shall not name it. And really, a Biomancer brought the old scales back to life? Do you know how?
>>48592928
Well, I don't like it. Metal shouldn't be alive, it's not how things should be.
>>48592943
Don't worry, I won't forget again.
>>48592947
Well if you find something that can close wounds without too many side effects, let me know. I'm glad to hear you've been able to find test subjects that don't complain, that's not something to scoff at.
>>48592973
Meteorite Metal? I suppose that does make for a good base for explosive spells considering the impact it makes as it hits the ground.
>>48592991
Did you make the material as well, or did you go out an gather it?

>>48593038
I got her a few years back. Before that it was all mental focus to cast. Figure out planar alignments for a bank of spells to cast every morning, cast until my mana reserves are tapped.

>>48592973
This one is very brave, yes! Shi has licked many things on a bet!

>>48593037
Id be more than happy to show you it professor. I'll conjure it from my personal demi-plane after the meeting is over. Along with a few other things I've been keeping since I started adventurering.

>>48593038
Meteorite metal is a great pyromancy focus, It burns up in the atmosphere and then explodes when it impacts. difficult to obtain in meaningful amounts though.

>>48592946
Eh, we're getting extra loud and shouty today because of staves.
>>48592973
Well fine, but just to let you know I learned hydromancy.
>>48592991
I know a guy that went on to prove the effectiveness of mystical metals as the material for staves for foci use.
>>48593037
Yo, I did not ask what you have been up to, I asked what you were doing here.
>>48593038
You just don't want to admit my staff is better.

>>48592924
"Interesting choice. Few I have seen use weapons. That few is millions, but still."

>>48592928
"You want to duel, little man?"

>>48592943
"Ook."

>>48592988
"Hmph. Everyone assumes a dragon is only out to kill them for some reason."

>He says this as he crunches down on the metal creature and proceeds to swallow it.

>>48593037
"I am unsure. I've only recently found this thing, and initially it was in a fight to save the guild tower from a crack made mountain."

>>48593038
Eek

>>48593038
The birchwood was from my father's stores, he chopped down the tree but I carved the staff. The amethyst however is all me.

>>48593091
Funny. You know water is fairly poor at dealing with exceptionally hot things right? You can drop a molten ball in water and the water all boils before it can even get close enough to cool the ball.

>>48593085
Splendid.

>>48593091
Pardon? Have I missed something?

>>48593038
I wasn't there.

But it's how he fixed her dragon's breath weapon.

>>48593037
My niece has a zombie silver dragon, and in order to fix the breath weapon it wields, a biomancer cloned a living silver dragon, then killed it. According to her.

>>48593106
Eh, it was all I had on hand.

>>48592924
Seriously? A steak knife? Huh...

>>48593106
Thing? By what do you mean?

>>48593119
WHAT?!

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>>48592996
I haven't named it yet..but the crystalline form and the bright coloration...

I still have no idea what to call it

I think I'll name it simply, "Aggrospeed" because it is a product mainly aimed at the orc populace, and they...well they go batshit crazy when they take it

and as for the speed part, it makes you feel rather fast, increases endurance and all around prolongs the capability of permorming a physical task

>>48593038
Hard to come by yes, but as the warlord described it, he uses my products as combat stimulus, the effects create warriors with a mentality resembling the berzerkers found in hostile environments

Although I fear for the king's judgement on this, but the nomadic ways of the orcs aid me in this, I stick with them, and we relocate whenever the odds are not in our favor...

>>48593106
I just have BAD EXPERIENCES with dragons, SORRY!!

>the twitching wizard was staring at the chrome dragon

So shiny...

May I interest you in my products? Intended effects increase performances, depending on the product naturally... side effects may cause temporary insanity. Or permanent...

>>48593091
>Shi leans in close
What is about staves that is so important? Does not everyone have access to wood here?

>>48593131
"Well, I didnt know initially what it was until I fell straight into it, crashing though the skeleton frame and finding its heart. Once I touched it, we fused."

I prefer staffs because they feel like branches.

>>48593106
Sure, first to three hits win?
Also, free round to buff ourselves?
>>48593112
Well fine then. I'll just use fire eating ooze.
>>48593115
Not that I know of.
Expect the fact that we're on the opposite side of the continent of Azahad.
>>48593171
We just like our staves.
Also, get back little one, I have a fight to perform.

>>48593091
Would you like help dealing with our little bundle of flaming joy? I could honestly use the practice.

>>48593112
Yeah, but you've got to admit. The steam that comes out is great for the pores! Just like what I'm doing with you!
>He'd still be dispersing her heat with copious amounts of conjured water.
But do you mind if I use you to make a smore or two? I'm getting kind of peckish.

>>48593193
O-oh okay.
>Iris wanders back to the edge of the room

>>48593196
Not now woman I have a outsider turned mechanical dragon to duel!

>>48593170
"I'll pass. I already have a heart full of litteral hatred."

>>48593193
"Agreed. Where should we fight then, maggot?"

>>48593131
No, you're not allowed to do things to it.

>>48593129
What? Knives are very useful for necromancers.

>>48593170
Assumin the reason some of them die is because you concentrate it too much, speeds up too far, heart attack and such.
Gotta water it down at first so they can build a basic tolerance, then you can sell them the full crystals for when they really need a kick later.
I'de just call it Aggro.

>>48593175
Interesting...I would very much so like to treat with you further, if you you care to indulge me, after this meeting and my business with Mr. Brell.

>>48593193
>Rustles his wings, chuckling
It was not an easy journey, I will admit.

>>48593209
>He'd raise his brow at this.
Woman? Well that's an Insult I've yet to be called.

>>48593235
Mister Veilhex, I implore you! I must see this creature, it's imperative to my work here on this plane!

>>48593066
That must have been exhausting.
>>48593087
How did you get enough for your staff?
>>48593091
I won't admit your staff is better because it isn't true. And I don't approve of you trying to show off this monstrosity like it's something to be proud of. A true staff is made from a material carefully chosen, and personally shaped, all while infusing it with your magic. And even if, yes, even if I were to somehow be convinced that your staff is better than mine, this is my secondary staff. My finest staff is dead, and awaits me in the Realm of the Dead whenever I shall return there.
>>48593107
I told you last time, it was my apprentice's fault the book didn't make it. And I got it replaced. What will it take for you to let it go? Must I donate a first edition copy?
>>48593108
I see, which forest did the birch come from?
>>48593119
Interesting. Did you happen to get the name of the Biomancer in question?
>>48593170
Sounds like a mutually beneficial arrangement. It's been ages since I got the chance to travel with a warlord, it's an exciting way to live, but not one I can live these days. Too many responsibilities you see.

>>48593257
The Wraithwood, of course. I did mention that's where I was born and raised, yes?

>>48593245
"Of course."

>>48593268
Wraithwood? Where have I heard that name before?

Are we comparing staves?
>He pulls out a dust covered staff, its made of at least thirty types of wood all carved together into one quarterstaff, Its laced with impressive amounts of runes but lacks any other form of decoration

>>48593257
Long story, Short version is probably something along the lines of 'I was born with it' but not really.

>>48593257
Not really. It's all about exploiting differences in planar potential and using your own mana as a conduit.

>YELL FROM THE GLORIOUS CITY
THE RATTUS DO NOT WIELD WOODEN STICKS! WE WIELD SWORDS IN THE NAME OF OUR GREAT PROTECTOR IN THE HEAVENS ABOVE, HIXXKILLIANT!

>>48593296
>lands on the staff
I feel like I'm on 30 branches. Coo

>>48593257
Uh...

Oh, Cunabula's dad.

>>48593256
What kind of work? What would you do with her dragon?

>>48593339
Oh not these guys...

>>48593256
I feel I must inform you that Miss Obsidia Veilhex's dragon is protected by the full might of the Necromancy Department. Unless you receive her permission, as well as that of her guardian, you will not study her undead dragon.
>>48593268
Indeed you did. The Wraithwoods have good quality trees. Both of my staffs got their wood from there.
>>48593293
It's just north of the kingdom.
>>48593313
An heirloom then? Some certainly are born lucky.
>>48593334
Well, I assume it's easier now that you have a proper focii? Even if it's not a staff.

>>48593214
Here is good. It's open, people will know enough to stay out of the way.
>Glug starts buffing himself
>He puts his staff away and rust colored ooze specked with white and black specks congeals over him and hardens, crystallizing into armor
>He then creates an ooze whip made of white ooze and covered in thorns made of rust colored ooze
Ready?
>>48593246
Oh, didn't notice it was you speaking.
I won't take it back though.
>>48593257
Now, that is just rude. I had carefully chosen the material, personally shaped it, AND infused it with my own magic.
You should learn not to make assumptions.
>>48593339
YOUR SWORDS ARE SHIT! SHIIIIT!

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>48593380
"Just a moment."
>Rolling to buff

>>48593371
The meteorites, Not the staff itself.

>>48593412
"DRIIBLEDICKDUCKFUCKNUGGETCHICKENDIAHREABUFFALOSEWAGESONOFABIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"

>Roar of Flame

"LETS GO MAGGOT!"

>Chrome claws extend

>>48593371
Oh yes. And Carol can do the potential calculations on the fly, while I have to sit down for a good hour or two, so I'm more adaptable now as well.

>>48593371
Pretty much any woodwork made from that forest is good quality. And if my dad didn't make most of it, he probably sold the wood to whoever did!
>Sammy seems rather proud as she says this.

>>48593364
WHAT?
>>48593380
WHO SAID THAT!? WHO MOCKED US RATTUS?!
>another voice
IT'S OK BRETHREN, THAT IS JUST THE HOMO SAPIEN HOMOSEXUAL BODYBUILDER!

>>48593214
Not interested in enhanced perception? Could be useful for...TERRITORIAL DISPUTES AND DESTROYING YOUR ENEMIES!

>>48593241
The warlord does not care really, and the dosage is rather on point for the orcs at the moment, until I come up with a more potent alternative...

But the other races have trouble with the dosages still, I advise small dosages but the FUCKING MORONS STILL INGEST WAY TOO LARGE DOSES, WHICH RESULT IN...UNFORTUNATE LOSS OF RETURNING CUSTOMERS...

Pardon me... I have developed a concerning tendency of RAISING my voice at times, it is beyond my control...

>>48593257
I understand, I also use the occasional human tag-alongs as local dealers for my product, it seems some areas are...less than happy about my product being distributed there...

End result is that my product gets a steady spread, I receive a steady income, and the benefits for the warlord I'm associated with are, rather impressive

>>48593364
Marus? Well, I suppose if anyone could do it then it would be him.
>>48593380
You wanted it to be shaped like that? How on Aen did you come up with that design? And, why would you make an Oozemancy staff out of living metal? I really do not see the connection.
>>48593428
Even better in my opinion, it let you shape the staff the way you wanted it to be.
>>48593430
Yes, that's certainly an advantage
>>48593442
Perhaps I should try to make time to visit there again soon. Would you be available as a guide if I do?
>>48593448
>sighs
Who let their experiments run around unsupervised?

>>48593364
Examine it, I am exceedingly curious about biological anomalies in Aenic dragons. This...undead sprite...could give me vital clues to the life of early dragons. How did she acquire such a specimen?

>>48593371
Master Lazarus, you must understand that my Department NEEDS that data. This...creature...of yours is a vital key to understanding my extinct kinsmen.

>>48593468
>he is too focused on the fight

>>48593371
>Obsidia Veilhex
>You know damn well it's Doomblight

>>48593448
I forgot that just because I don't have to deal with them in the department they still have free reign of the rest of the guild.

>>48593475
True.

>>48593481
She won it as a prize in a contest. Turns out we had the corpse the whole time.

>>48593475
Maybe. Then again I'm not sure how much help I'll be outside of the northeastern tip of the Woods.

>>48593412
>>48593429
Want to go first or shall I?
>>48593448
The only time I had sex with a man was when he was magically turned into a woman!
>>48593475
Well, for right now it's not an oozemancy staff, it's just a really damn good magical staff.
I'm trying to work on a staff that significantly boosts oozemancy but it's taking a bit to find the right material.
And yes, I have been looking into different kinds of wood too.
But excuse me while I duel Mordin.

>>48593481
The dragon she now possess has been in the Necromancy Department's care since the First Age. We've had no intention of letting it fall into the hands of an another department before, and we're not planning to let it happen now.
>>48593502
>I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I KEEP MAKING THAT TYPO!
>>48593512
I'll be fine with wherever you can guide me.
>>48593524
Good luck

>>48593524
"Make your move."

>>48593448
>>48593524
>Iris rubs the back of hir neck and mutters something to hirself.

>>48593475
IS THAT THE SOUND OF A HOMO SAPIEN NECROPHILIUS?!
>>48593502
ARE YOU CALLING US SLAVES!?
>A DOZEN RATS WEARING SPANISH INQUISITION ARMOUR RUN OUT, SHOUTING AT VEILHEX ANGRILY
>>48593524
THAT IS DISGUSTING AND HERETICAL!

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>48593551
Fine!
>Jumps straight towards Mordin's head with enhanced jumping abilities and attempts to whip the fuck out of Mordin with his ooze whip

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48593592
>Roars
>Attempts to burn the whip with a line of fire breath

>>48593582
That's not a proper term, not that I expect rogue experiments to know better. It's necromancer, get it right or don't try.

>has somehow been summoned by Quin via mystical steam powered means

>>48593626
CRITICUS WHY

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>>48593546
Very well then. If we happen to both get some time free I might take you up on that.

>>48593645
Marus, good to see you. Do you ever use staffs in your work? Or are you too much of a lab mage to need them?
>>48593649
Very well, I'll try to make time then.

>>48593626
>>48593592
>The fire fails to burn the whip

>>48593582
No.

I have better things to use than rats.

>>48593645
Hi Marus.

Did I ever thank you for helping my niece with her dragon?

Well nothing much has changed around here.

All right everyone im here to push a new notion. I personally believe that now would be a good time to declassify the forbidden archives. Hear me out.

Firstly I've been guarding this thing for over 1300 years. Most of the objects have become irrelevant and their respective deities either no longer worshipped or killed off.

Most of the tomes down here are outdated, and the ones that are still useful have been stolen. The Eldrich department is responsible for most of these thefts, as their younger students seem to think they can better grades by using "The old stuff" which I might add is forbidden for a reason.

I can happily report that all of the "Living Specimens" are alive and health. and some would benefit other departments greatly. we have one or two illegal dragons down here.

The great super-weapons of the last great war have been disarmed to some degree, I make no promises with the long range contaminators. Those things are staying down here.

And lastly my team and I would like to get into teaching, this is basically an excuse to get some visitors down here to learn about all things wrong and questionable.

I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts. I understand If we want to keep all these items contained.

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>>48592071
Really? You're arguing about staffs? That's not really a discussion I can get into, I've hard enough time holding books, staffs are near impossible.

>>48593693
Isn't there a forbidden laboratory set there?

I hear it was quite advanced at the time, could you share some insight?

I mean in MY HANDS!! It would be destroyed eventually so it wouldn't stay operational for a long time...

>>48593502
W-wha-ho-whe-bu-

>>48593546
Why was I not told!
>Pinches his snout
Zicronis...ever wasteful. Lazarus, whatever scholarly good that whelp may have once held has surely been used by now. This hatchling could be the key I need to see the balancing of the scales.

Where is Obsidia? I must speak with her, if I am to hold on to this hope.

>>48593730
You were not told because I knew that if I told you then you would want it for yourself. And that corpse, that perfectly preserved First Age corpse, is the property of the Necromancy Department, and has been since it was brought in by our department's founder, Necronimus.

>>48593729
Theres about 300 sets, unfortunatly for you most of them are cursed.

The old bench of the great tinkerer is down there actually. so much of it is automated you used to be able to give it paper slips and it would do the work for you.
Took an unfathomable amount of power sadly, we had to take it out of comission.

Shame really, I was using it to make enchanted cages.

Theres one or two items down here however that might match you "Aquired" taste.
You'd get a kick out of some of the evil flora.

>>48593706
>THEY COWER
W-WHA..
>>48593680
IS THAT A INSULT!?
>>48593635
It is Homo Sapien Necrophilius, Homo Sapien!

>>48593768
That accursed drake...does he persist on this plane?

>>48593730
No. It's hers, and you are probably going to try stealing it.

>>48593799
Yes? Was that not obvious?

>>48593799
If you're making up words then at least have the decency of calling it Homo Sapiens Necromanticus.
>>48593808
I'm not sure, I haven't heard from him since I last returned from the Realm of the Dead.
>>48593813
If he tries stealing it, let me know. I might have given it to her, but the Necromancy Department does not want it to fall in the hands of anyone outside of the Necromancy Department.

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>>48593645
Hey Marus, everything going well I hope?
>>48593799
Hey, it's the rats! Don't worry, I don't fight during meetings if I can avoid it. And I already have plenty of snacks. So stay out of trouble, and you won't have to fear my wrath.

>>48593813
TAKE.THAT.BACK! THE RATTUS INQUISITION OF THE GLORIOUS EMPIRE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS OFFENSE!
>>48593848
But that is incorrect!
>>48593900
>Dubs
>THEY BACK THE FUCK AWAY

>>48593950
>Iris pokes the critter
Excuse me, but it looks familiar to this one, yes? Has this one seen it somewhere before?

>>48593848
I will.

She's really attached to it.

>>48593950
You have an inquisition?

>>48593950
Then rewrite your text books, because I won't stand such an insulting term for my profession. Also, I do believe it's Sapiens, not Sapien.

>>48593675
Mostly raw mana to be honest, the implements are just a bit of a pain to keep track of. I'd need a new one every full moon.

>>48593680
Ah? No, but that's hardly neccessary, it was all good fun!
>somehow he smiles

>>48593900
Hello Quin my dear.
Things are going swimmingly, despite my hibernations taking up too much time for my liking. They add up every year you ignore them, did you know that?

Steam's being a shit

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>>48593791
Hmm... I'll consider it, and besides, I roll with an orc warlord, I'll get a power generator up and running in no time, if not by conventional means then I'll construct a giant hamster wheel which may double as a prison for the orcs...

>>48593799
AIAB

Stay out of my territory

>summons a few of his orcish muscle to aid
>using a staff which is made of steel and wood
>the gat-staff
>pic related, the summoning stance and gat-staff demonstrated by crackrockius personally

>>48593981
I've understood that much.
>>48593986
I see... Also, I hear you did something to Obsidia Doomblight's dragon? Care to explain the details?

>>48593990
Not likley. There is a reason this is called the FORBIDDEN archive.

The plants Im willing to let go, but not the lab set. that thing is too powerful. Its nothing against you, just standard protocol.

>>48593950
>THE BEAST LOOKS IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION
>before returning to her snacks
>>48593986
I did not. Also, we really need to have a talk later about Cunabula, she's experimenting with her powers as of late and it's giving me a headache trying to figure out.

>>48593813
>>48593848
Come now! Do not insult me and call me a thief! If Io wills me to see this specimen then so be it. But I will not debase myself by lowering myself to the standards of a starving Kobold.

Master Lazarus, how may I contact your Master?

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>>48593982
Primitive Homo Sapien Necrophilius, you do not know our GLORIOUS Rattus terms!
>>48593990
>oh shit nigger
>one of the rats make a face that is basically pic related at them
What are those things-
>>48594047
>>48593971
>SHRIEKS
>THEY RUN AWAY IN TERROR

>>48593986
You had a barbecue with the rest of it, didn't you?

>>48594015
She gets attached really easily.

>>48594047
Oh, yes, she and Obsidia did show me their inventive little... Whatever you call that.. It's... something.

>>48594078
I'm sorry, but I just don't trust you.

>>48594111
>His snout contorts in a grimace of incredulity

For what possible reason would you have not to trust me? We Dragonborn are not common thieves, much less Oakenhearts.

>>48594015
>sits down in a comfortable chair that was not there a moment ago.
Oh, she asked for some help restoring her dragon's breath, I thought reversing the damage time had done to it would be a lot more effort than just growing a new dragon and using the parts.

>>48594047
Really? That's fascinating!
Did she start glowing violet yet?

>>48594111
Well.. Yes, there was a lot of spare meat.

>>48594093
What did this one say?

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48593676
>Unpauses game
>Glug tries to start a midair whipping combo on Mordin's face

>>48594154
derp, forgot name, had to restart system

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>>48594029
eh, if I don't figure out a way to USE THE PLANTS as in refining them in some ways then I MIGHT JUST PASS

But thank you for informing me, now if you'll excuse me, I have authorities to kill using minorities.

>>48594093
Those, my rodent friends, are orcs.

And this, this is my gat-staff

I have an apprentice, HEROINICUS! DEMONSTRATE THE POWAH OF THE GAT-STAFF!!

>heroinicus comes bellowing in with more orcs
>performing a ritual dance with the orcs before demonstrating a cast: "steel at high velocity" spell with his gat-staff

Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d20)

>>48594158
>Attempt to tank it
>Afterwords, shoot out a fireball

Rolled 19, 15 = 34 (2d20)

>>48594203
>REROLL BECAUSE IM SO FUCKING SALTY NOW
>Second roll stands

>>48594078
I have no master, and it's certainly not Necronimus if that's what you're trying to imply.

And no, I do not know how to contact Necronimus either, or I would have done so the moment it became clear I was the only one around capable of leading the Necromancy Department.
>>48594093
I demand that change your terms befo-
>watches them run in terror from the gaze of Quin
Very well...
>>48594111
Normally I would advise against such attachment to a minion, but considering the valuable materials it's made from I suppose it's appropriate.
>>48594143
Interesting. And you ate the meat? I'm sorry that I missed that.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>48594229
>Reroll because Dev is angry at me

>>48594143
Was it tasty?

>>48594140
You tend to get... crazy about metallics.

>>48594246
Yeah... We're working on it.

>>48594270
>Good
>Now Glug gets knocked down
Gh! That's one to one ain't it?

>>48594246
I meant no offence, Lazarus.

This certainly is a predicament...is Obsidia back in Tenebrus?

>>48594284
Crazy? That's preposterous.
>Ogles the chrome dragon with manic glee

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>>48594111
Yes, something.
>>48594143
Not that I'm aware of, is she supposed to? No, she took inspiration from my work with devices merging and decided to fuse with another magical girl. For someone who's studying Source like myself everything I know about devices tells me that it should not be possible, and yet they succeeded. So, headache.

I mean sure, I managed to make a fusion device in the past, but it required me to do a whole bunch of things to make it work.
>>48594246
I was there, the Dragon BBQ was delicious!

>>48594246
>>48594284
Why yes, everyone around had some I believe.
Dragon is quite delicious. It used to be considered a delicacy.

>>48594324
Well, at a certain point she will, and her capacity for mana manipulation should skyrocket.
She is however quite young still.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>48594302
"What, no fire balls? Fine, ill use my claws!"
>Claws extend
>Roll to attack

>>48594284
Do you need any help?
>>48594310
You'll need to consult her guardian on such questions.
>>48594324
They usually are.
>>48594341
I've had the fortune to try some and I'm inclined to agree. It's a shame the chance to eat dragon meat comes so rarely.

>>48594310
Case in point.

>>48594324
Doesn't even make sense to you, then?

>>48594341
But not now.

>>48594380
Well...

You know how it goes with her

>>48594380
>>48594396
Well. I have some around for special occasions if you two want to try.

>>48594341
Well, I guess that's something to look forward to then. Any other tricks you gave her that I should be aware of?
>>48594396
I'll lend you my notes later, I'm fairly certain it makes less sense to me because of what I know than it does to you who isn't as well versed on the subject.

I've made only one fusion device so far, a feat that Samantha was convinced, and rightly so, could not be done. It took a lot of work to get right. And then Cunabula and Obsidia just tried it, and got it to work on the first try.

>>48594448
Well, none that are currently active.

>>48594341
>>48594324
Wait...what.

>>48594396
Regardless, it would be much simpler if I were able to veiw the creature, no? What harm could come from noninvasive study and observation? Should I desire to study the creature further I will ask for greater permission then, but until then all I ask is to see the greatest hope in Holy quest.

Would you deny me that chance, Master Veilhex?

>>48594396
Usually, yes. But I assume she confides in you more than she does in me. She's your niece after all. At best I'm a friend of the family.
>>48594416
I will gladly take you up on that offer.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48594352
>Glug tries to whip-grab Mordin's wrist and yank him down and to the side and deliver an empowered punch to his face

>>48594416
Really? Hmm...

>>48594448
Well, did they know it should have been impossible?

>>48594473
I will observe you, and make sure you don't do anything untoward to it.

>>48594474
Yes... Now.

>>48594471
Well, I hope you'll let me know when any relevant surprises come up. Because the things Cunabula can come up on her own throws me enough of a curve ball as it is.
>>48594473
What? Did I say something?

>>48594473
Oh yes, back when they roamed all over the lands.
I still have a cookbook on a clay tablet somewhere.

>>48594511
As far as I'm aware? No, not until after they had already fused at least.

>>48594511
>raises an eyebrow
She hadn't confided in you before? Why not? And what changed?

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>48594508
>Attempt to pull him up with the whip

>>48594516
N-no. Nothing at all...nothing...

>>48594517
It is with a deep sense of morbid curiosity that I request a charcoal rubbing of this tablet.

>>48594511
Untoward?
>scoffs
I'm a prophet of our God and Forefather, he will be in the most caring of hands.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>48594575
>Attempts to let him to do so but then transform midair into Dengen Senshi Bituman to deliver and upwards SENSHIIIII KIIIIICK! to his face
SENSHIIIII KIIIIIIICK!!!

>>48594535
And, by not knowing it should have failed, they made it work. It happens with magic sometimes.

>>48594552
A... Number of reasons, it seems.

>>48594604
Stealing the dragon would count as untoward.

>>48594604
Of course. You can have some of my reserve as well if you wish. It was a... Golden dragon if I recall correctly.

>>48594605
>Attempt to headbutt Glug

>>48594604
Alright then.
>>48594575
>>48594605
Criticus, please bless this fight with your presence!
>>48594649
Well... hmm... alright, there might be something to that actually.

>>48594650
R-reserve?

>the effects of "aggro" are taking their toll on Crackrockius
>to compensate, he does some "nightbreeze" a dark potion of unknown origin (Crackrockius' lab)
>And the effects are shown a short while later

Guys... Check...check this out, I've got two hands...and two hands...and...I mean like, I have a gat-staff... how fricken cool is that? I mean, I could think of...mass producing these things, charge 'em up with magic, and arm the orcs with them?

Think about it yo, a military force, comprised of very angry and strong, ednuring orcs. With gat-staffs as weapons, and when they run out of magic charge, they switch back to their standard weapons, swords axes...whatever they use, and fuck shit up...

I should expand my business ventures... so that I can expand my research...

Anyone interested in fruitful co-operation?

Trust me, dealing potions alone to the orc tribes is profitable in itself, now think about how much gold we could rake in if we sold other services to them? Enchantments, and the likes, magical weapons, all that stuff.

I mean, the guild rules don't forbid lucrative business, it just guides us to steer away from causing larger conflicts, but technically we wouldn't cause the conflicts, we'd just be arming a aggressive faction of said conflicts with potions that make them a little bit better at figthing.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48594662

>>48594649
Well I'm glad to hear things were resolved then. Speaking of resolving things, we need to take that trip to the Realm of the Dead, soon. I do not enjoy leaving things like this unresolved.

>>48594703
tl;dr let's sell stuff to orcs and get fucking rich so that we can study magics more to get richer to study magics more

>>48594703
I do not personally reccomend trying to barter with an orc in your current state.

>>48594673
It's at least worth looking into, no?

>>48594711
Yes, that.

>>48594682
Well. Technically it's an experimental sample, but I long since ran out of uses for it.

File: KyubeyStare.jpg (112KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48594682
Oh, now I get it, you missed the BBQ, didn't you?
>>48594703
I'm not sure if the orcs would be interested in what I'm selling, but I guess I could try.
>>48594759
Yes, I'll look into it.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>48594662
>>48594704
>Attempts to jump onto Mordin's head and strike it with a hand congealed in sun, force, and enhancement ooze to create a pseudo-Shining Finger like attack

File: utsu.jpg (41KB, 263x758px) Image search: [Google]

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>Taps nearest mage on the shoulder.
Pardon me, which way is the Admissions Department?
>Her voice is slightly muffled by her mask.

>>48594824
Down the hall and on the left, there should be a sign on the door.

>>48594839
>nods
Much appreciated.

>>48594755
Don't worry, me and warlord Ripyer Gutzz are tight, I mean, we get fucked up all the time...


And besides, whatever benefits the overall performance of Warlord Ripyer Gutzz's army, benefits us, since the pay is ridiuclous, the orc spends like most of the gold they acquire... on me, at the moment, I mean I'm kind of ripping them off but it's just to cover expenses to cover my tracks...

>>48594801
What are you selling it's all a matter of PERSPECTIVE!!!

Sorry... kind of twitchy...

>>48594703
I'm currently out of merchandise, unless they are willing to provide the raw materials.
>>48594759
Do you have time tomorrow? Or should we push it to the weekend?
>>48594824
Through that door, and down the halls and to the left. There are enough senior mages here to handle your application however. Just state your name and preferred school or tradition of magic and I'm sure we'll be able to help you.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>48594812
>The finger impacts Mordin, and he is sent rocketing into a wall

"Fuck, this hurts."

>Gets up

"Well, three hits. You win."

>>48594868
Magical devices capable of turning you into a magical girl. Doesn't quite fit the warmongering orc stereotype, now does it?

>>48594870
I will... How about I get back to you on that?

>>48594801
Good idea.

I'm... Gonna go...

>>48594878
Sry roll accidental. Pls ignore.

Also fuck you criticus.

>>48594878
Damn right I do! Say, can you drink still?

>>48594908
Very well, just don't push on it for too long.

>>48594916
"Yes, actually. At least, I hope I can."

>>48594870
Umm...Ustuneko. Ryuuko Utsuneko. As for schools of magic, um...
>She attempts to scratch her cheek, but the mask is in the way.
Necromancy? Maybe? That seems kinda close.

>>48594978
We've got a few of those, you'll fit right in.

>>48594801
Missed, fortunately, I think...cannibalism is frowned upon.

>>48594783
I would actually have a great need for such a thing.

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>>48594943
Well, I know a bar that we can hit up if you want.
>>48594978
Choose oozemancy! Best school! Let's you beat dragons!

>>48594978
Then you're in luck, I'm Lazarus Krask, head of the Necromancy Department. Do you think you could provide an example of your magic?
>>48595028
Please don't try to steal future members of my department.

>>48594939
I promise not to.

>>48594943
>>48595028
I can't believe Criticus didn't interfere even once during that fight.
>>48594908
Later Veilhex.
>>48595020
And dragons are too close for comfort to you? Well, your loss.

>>48594870
I mean, you might have to risk it a bit and do an on-site demonstration of the manufacture and uses of the goods...but I think they'll be more than happy to provide, or then I can just OD an orc and log it over to ya if we...y'know, come to a mutual agreement over exploiting the orc tribe led by Ripyer Gutzz in a mutually beneficial way.

>>48594895
Tsk tsk tsk, you lack imagination when it comes to business, you know how orcs like to raid villages and the likes, it's usually brutal and..bad for business because on average I lose a tenth of my customerbase per raid.

Now disguise the orc scouts as magical girls...

And everyone wins, you get a profit, I get a profit, and the orcs don't die en masse

>>48594939
>>48594801
>The twitching mage conjures a board on which to scribble his business ideas on

You see, we pretty much dominate the magical industry, and I can handle the actual sales for a small percentage of your profits so you won't have to risk...not being liked by the orcs..

Now I know a kind of...uh.."open minded" sect of dwarves, they make quality weapons and armor, now if we deal quality weapons and armor, as well as magic items, potions and the likes, to the orcs, we will be the dominating merchants to them, as to repeat I can handle the actual sales in your stead in order to avoid getting caught up in any unpleasant circumstances.

Now, theoretically we can now offer, alongside my existing range of products, essentially disguises for orc scouting parties, and uh... extended manpower in the form of resurrected orcs, and other un-dead, naturally Lazarus you'd have to figure out how to give the or warlord the power over the un-dead troops we're selling him but you'll figure it out.

Now, as I said, I can handle the on-site sales which will leave you to manufacturing the products which the orcs desire. Of course I will demand a slight percentage, say 2..maybe 3 percent of your total income per batch of sold products as a vendors fee

>>48595108
Later, then.
>Walks out

>>48595116
>imagines magical girls gaining a reputation as orc spies and shudders
Suddenly I have other reasons not to think this deal would be a good idea. I'm sorry I can't do business with your partners, but good luck.

>>48595055
Come on, it's not like it's hurting anyone.
>>48595108
It just wasn't meant to be for anyone to outright crush the other.

>>48595055
Ah, well...the problem is I don't really know what I can do. I had a run-in with a group of death cultists a few weeks ago and they kinda...replaced my insides with a portal to the world of the damned. Or something. Not too sure how it works, but I think I might be dead? I don't eat, drink, or sleep any more. Oh!
>taps her mask
And I have to wear this now. If I don't all the hell miasma leaks out of my mouth whenever I open it and everyone gets sick.

>>48595172
W-wait, do not leave this one behind, these people are scary.

>>48595204
If you don't keep a control over that your going in the archive. So try your best!

>>48595066
>>48595123
>nods
>>48595116
Giving the warlord power over the minions I raise for him shouldn't be a problem. I've done exchanges like this in the past, it's a simple thing giving him control in my name by using the right combination of spells and enchanted physical items.
>>48595204
Depending on which "world of the damned" you're connected to you might need to look into the Demonologists. Though if the miasma is what I think it is, then we'll gladly have you in the Necromancy Department.

>>48595220
Ah, right, want me to call your dad for you and tell him to get his butt over here?

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>A strange portal pops up and spits put a strange humanoid creature.
>At first glance it seemed the creature was formerly a man but had various limbs attached and unattached.
>It appears to be asking for immediate help.
Rolling for landing.

>>48595252
>>48595261
T-thank you. I'll try not to poison anything.

>>48595288
>TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION
>INSTANT TRANSLATION
>"What is the matter traveler?"

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>>48595171
Unfortunate... however dealing with orcs is a rather risky path to take, business wise and in general too.

>>48595261
So you'll consider this business proposition?

>the twitching mage looked at the necromancer, with one eye as the other was going all lazy and pointing in the wrong direction.

>>48595288
Do you seek enhancing experiences?

Or do you seek a soft euthanasia?

I can provide both, if the price is right.

>crackrockius observes the newcomer, holding his gat-staff in a non hostile way
>pic related is the way to hold it in a non-hostile manner

>>48595108
It would be like a man eating an elf. Or perhaps a monkey eating a man?

>>48595304
I'll check If we've got anything down here that might be able to help you.
However I can't promise this'll be fast, the amount of paperwork required to get anything out of the archives is monumental.
And fortunatly its not my job, I leave it to my apprentice.

>>48595271
>Shi scratches behind hir ear, looking to the floor confused
This one supposes... Just, do not leave it with these strangers.

>>48595312
>A weak gurgling noise.
Just. Need. Some water. And maybe. Directions.
>>48595331
Nope. Just water.

>>48595288
Are you also here to apply?
>>48595304
That would be appreciated, yes. Don't worry, if your miasma is what I think it is then it shouldn't cause much of a problem to most of the department. I can examine it after the meeting is over if you want.
>>48595331
I will. It has merit, as long as you can get a deal with the orcs in question.

>>48595360
Alright, I won't. I'll stay here until your dad gets here.
>Glug calls Lurco
>>48595362
>Glug takes out a water bottle and hands it to the stranger

>>48595399
Apply. To. What?
>>48595411
>Taking massive gulps.
Ah, now that was refreshing. I need some help looking for this one asshole and this place seems familiar. Not by much, but help pn the directions?

>>48595399
That would be appreciated. I've been trying to be a trooper about this but it's starting to get to me a bit.
>>48595360
>looks at Iris curiously
What manner of creature are you? I don't believe I've seen anything like you before...

>>48595362
Oh? Shame... Well, if you wish to enhance your senses and physique, contact me
>the twitchy mage passed a "calling card" of sorts, it was a wooden piece with a location and a "password" of sorts scribbled on it

>>48595399
All I need to do is mention the dead fighting again and you'll shower in gold coins, presumably stolen ones but still, we're not stealing the coins are we?

I mean the thieves guild buys their weapons and equipment from regular vendors all the same, there's no ban on selling stuff to people who gain their wealth by illicit means

>Crackrockius shrugs sending his apprentice Heroinicus to pass the word to the orc warlord Ripyer Gutzz

I should have word by the time of our next meeting.

>>48595443
>Iris sniffs the traveler
It has a familiar scent yes, it fell through a.... the phrase graces this ones tongue.... Time sink-hole, no?
>>48595448
>Iris looks up puzzled, as if surprised that someone noticed hir.
Uh... This one is a Crocuta, yes? Proud people of H'Zrath.

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>>48595481
>>48595448
forgot pic

>>48595443
>Glug holds up a finger and nods before moving his sending gem down
Directions? This is the Mages Guild.
We're in the country of Luxitania right now.
>>48595481
Your dad is going to be here in a couple of minutes, Iris.

>>48595481
What? Honestly, it's been over a couple decades since I've been dropped here. And I am still looking for this prick.
>>48595511
I meant Astral and Temporal cords because I think I am way off course thanks to a couple damned Void Dragons and Devil Dragons.

>>48595443
The Mages Guild. We just had a new applicant and your timing was close enough to her arrival.

Where do you need directions to?
>>48595448
Not surprising, being undead is harder than most people think, which is why I've made an effort to stay alive.
>>48595474
Very well, I'll make sure I'm ready to deliver once we meet again then.

>>48595481
H'Zrath? Is that far from here?

>>48595539
Ha! Fat chance, for some reason this a pit stop for me.

>>48595028
"Sure. It has been a while since I had a good drink."

>>48595532
Time is a slippery strange thing, it does not behave like a river, yes.
>>48595566
This one is not so sure where 'here' is, it is near the eastern sea and 'Yellow Sands'

>>48595582
Very well, and where are you headed then?

>>48595532
Ah, um...
>Glug takes out a magic device and looks at it before looking back up
300028, -437, 324/439939, and 3.
That help?

>>48595625
Ha! My age means nothing to you.
>>48595629
Trying to find and murder this prick who basically shoved and cursed me throw some random portal.

File: Crackrockius in his lab.jpg (31KB, 264x413px) Image search: [Google]

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>>48595539
Excellent, now if you excuse me, I have to return to one of my laboratories, it's about time a batch of "aggro" is about to be ready.

Going to sleep, adíos!

File: Demon 004.jpg (73KB, 400x250px) Image search: [Google]

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Renowned Magi, it has been hours and you have not been able to come to a consensus.

I have been dispatched by Archmagus Rotherton to inform you that the Grand Hall is reserved for his bi-monthly poker game in half an hour, as posted in Tembian rune-script on the sanctum wall.

Furthermore, Archmagus Rotherton would like to inform you that his new 'Stinking Cloud' spell is a "Good One" and that "It happens to *love* having an ambulatory construct as a focal point."

Emphasis his.

>>48595662
Hardly, but I'll keep as a rough placement since this place seems far behind. But, I feel it's nearing the high time I leave.

>>48595680
Fine. I'll crawl back down to the archives.
But next time get the fool to write in bigger runes. I can't read the timesheet from the other side of the hall.

>>48595664
I see, best of luck to you then.
>>48595674
Very well, best of luck with your labwork.
Sleep well, I should probably go to sleep as well soon.
>>48595680
I thought Archmagus Rotherton's poker game was tomorrow? Has there been a change of plans?

>>48595714
Alright then.
>>48595625
>A maw portal starts opening up
Lurco's coming now, so I'll be going. Seeya.
>>48595617
Lets go get turnt! WOOOO! MY STAFF IS THE BEST!

>>48595757
O-Oh, okay...

>>48595757
"Whatever. So how are we gonna get there?"

Well, it is time for me to go off, hopefully I only piss on a few a gods, and maybe piss off a dragon.
>A strange chant resounds, the limbs seem to coil and dissapate while reforming.
>A strange blood red glow seems to fill the room.
>A strange circle rumbles and growls from above and a seemingly jet black hand scoops the figuire.
Ah, fuck me, well, I guesse no rest for the wicked huh. Hopefully I see you guys while you're still not aged to dust.

>>48595884
Well you're a fucking dragon, right?
I get on your head or some shit and we fly there.

>>48595931
"Well, WHERE is it then?"

>>48595877
>Lurco pops out of the maw portal
Hey Iris, sorry, didn't mean to leave you all alone.

>>48595906
I'll still be here.
And hopefully, the archives will be too.

>>48595939
The country left of Solemarais.
>Glug jumps onto your head
Onwards!

>>48595944
Where was it! This one was trapped with, with - witches!

>>48595723
Archmagus Rotherton's penmanship has too long plagued the golem under his purview; a miscalculated letter makes a servant into a serval and you get disasters like the invisible maid that left invisible shit everywhere and ate Fra Oliganna's familiar.

>>48595729
It would not surprise me if, after brief investigation, it turned out that the poker game was rescheduled so as to prevent a certain Channeler Hugh from communion with the Spirit of Fortune - the stars will be right tomorrow, not tonight.

Just Hu's luck I suppose.

Of course, neither of you heard this from me. Hypotheticals of course. I have neither volition nor will of my own.

>>48596049
Sorry. I promise I won't do it again. So, uh, nothing bad happened, right?
And is there anything you want from me to make up for it?

>>48596099
A recompense for lost honour from negligence no?

>>48596203
Yeah, more or less. A hug? Ice cream? Whatever you want really.

>>48596020
"Just try not to kick me while we fly."

>Flaps wings and exits guild

"Control, we have takeoff!"

>>48596256
Uh...This one would like, a uhm...Ice Cream?

>>48596474
Alright, we'll go get you some ice cream.
I heard some cryomancers sell really good ice cream, wanna try that?

>>48596502
S-Sure, is it, dangerous?

>>48596542
I don't think it is but if something dangerous happens I'll protect you and keep you safe, alright?

>>48596571
>Shi puts a paw, over hir muzzle then, but complies
Yes, to this... Ice cream, hut?

>>48596603
Alright, let's go.
>Lurco holds out a hand

>>48596639
>Shi takes his hand
This one is ready, yes.

>>48596703
>Lurco leads her to the cryomancy department to get some ice cream

>scry with the rite of control F(lux)
>Broom: 0 writs
you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

>>48596735
Scruffy thinks brooms are for cleaning, not magic.
>Goes back to sweeping some dirt

Alright, everyone get out! This is the end of the meeting! Get on, git! If you all want to chatter some more go to the archives!
http://archived.moe/tg/thread/48592071/
http://archived.moe/tg/last/100/48592071/