What's the worst thing to find in the entrance of a dungeon?

>>48589153
You open the door to find two mormons asking if you've heard the good news

>>48589153
Your mother on guard duty.

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>>48589249

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>>48589249
Why not carpet the front with legos while you're at it

>>48589249
Mormons aren't even that bad.
One talked to me in the train, I said I like my religion and he said ok, and stopped pestering me.

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>>48589249

I ask them of they would be interested in joining our roleplay group.

>>48589153
A lemon party

>>48589262
too harsh. If OP's mother is in the entrance, how are they supposed to enter?

>>48589262
Not killing her rewards the party with GBP and tendies

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>>48589153
The exit to the dungeon

>>48589153
A trigger warning

>>48589153
Holocaust?

a sign that reads, "No Weenies Allowed"

>>48591765
The entrance to seven other dungeons.
And in those entrances, the entrance to seven more each.
So on, to infinity.

>>48589153
A door.

Lots of traps that were clearly triggered by someone else several days ago.

>>48589153
Dog shit that the owner hasn't picked up.

>>48592062
You don't put traps in the foyer!

A blood-stained sign that reads
"NOTHING BUT WASPS IN HERE"

>>48592095
Of course you do!
In cute maid outfits!

"Rust Monster Sanctuary"

>>48592095
Why not ?

All your guys go in through the service entrance. The only people coming in through the foyer are visitors that you don't want.

>>48589153

A gang of young "urban youths". Their gold chains are fake and not even worth looting.

>>48591765

wtf is wrong with his face? shit graphics lol

>>48592218
It's "Mask of the Father" from Dark Souls.

>>48591906

This, a dungeon full of feminists would be the absolute worst.

>omg did you just smite that proud orc womyn? It's not HER fault she turned "evil" by your patriarchal male-gaze standards because she isn't a privileged cismale wizard, shitlord!

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>>48592131

Good suggestion.

>>48592248

havent heard of it must be shit

>>48589153
the corpse of something extremely powerful in your setting via traps or the like
such as an ancient dragon recently deceased perforated with holes
thats typically the number one sign of get the fuck out, this is not a place your weak ass should be.

>>48589153
a big pile of dead people who look like identical clones of yourself in varying states of decomposition

>>48589153

The rest of your party from /tg/

>>48592273
I still need to watch the remake.

>>48592290
>Haven't heard of it must be shit
Here's the ratings.
Review scores
Publication Score
1UP.com A
Edge 9/10 then 10/10[10]
Eurogamer (UK) 9/10[11]
(Italy) 9/10
(Portugal) 9/10
(Sweden) 10/10
Famitsu 37/40[12]
G4 5/5
GamePro 5/5 stars
Game Revolution A-
GameSpot 9.5/10
GamesRadar 9/10
GamesTM 9/10
GameTrailers 9.2/10
GameZone 9/10
IGN 9.0/10
OPM (UK) 9/10
OXM (UK) 9/10
PALGN 10/10[13]
Play 90%
PSM3 9.1/10
Metro (UK)

It's got a sequel and then the third in the series released recently.

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mutilated bodies that look exactly like the party members

"Already looted. Try the next one along."

>>48592409

Don't forget Bloodborne. Does Bloodborne count? Demon's Souls should count too.

Bless the Souls series.

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An Australian flag.

>>48592330

Traps are like women, but better because they're played by men.

>>48592606
>the party enters Fritzl's dungeon
fucking GM cant keep his magical realm out of our game

>>48592252
>This, a dungeon full of feminists would be the absolute worst.

You can just kill them though, right? Fucking murderhobo privilege.

>>48592619
Please, keep your unfunny /b/ shit in /b/.

>>48589352
Mormons actually love role playing games and detailed as fuck board games. It's considered a fine source of entertainment.

>>48589325
Then he sounds like a bad mormon, albeit a good person.

>>48589153
the end of the dungeon, no monsters, no loot, no BBEG, no secret doors, no traps. just solid rock.

>>48592409
ratings too low, doesn't meet my standards

>>48592935
wtf I love mormons now

>>48592862

It was pretty funny though.

>>48593883
You might want to just stay in /b/.

>>48593816
They are also really good and agressive at basketball

>>48589153
A medium sized town with a well thought out layout, division of labor and a developed economy.

>>48592619

Wisdom.

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>>48589153

An unscooped litter tray with fresh leavings.

>>48592862

Please keep your easily-triggered landwhale ass on tumblr.

>>48594223
>"guys I posted something retarded and inflammatory lol trold"
>called out for it being 8th grade tier autism
>" go back to tumblr"

Fucking got him, truly epic post my man

>>48589153
A toll both selling tickets for entrance to the dungeon. They have a gift shop too, selling really chintzy souvenirs, at ridiculous prices. What a tourist trap of a dungeon.

>>48589153
A welcome mat

>>48592409
>taking the bait

>>48594289
>retarded
eh, sure, but thats like, just our opinions man.
>inflammatory
you seem to have inflamed yourself over it.

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>>48592619
But Anon...

>>48594289

It's true, though, men are better at everything, including being women. That's just a fact, I'm sorry if reality triggers you.

>>48594488
name of seires?

>>48589153

Yes. All of them.

>>48594545
What if you want to make a kid?

>>48594289
>called out

Nobody who uses this phrase habitually deserves to be here.

>>48594694

Find a surrogate sow, adopt, or else wait for the technology.

>>48594052
HEY, that's a stereotype.

I mean, it's completely true, but it's still a stereotype. Every tuesday and thursday a bunch of us meet up at the church and practice in the big gymnasium attached to the chapel.

I'm not even kidding. It's separated from the chapel by a big metal curtain you can fold into the walls, so you can have extra seating set up if needed.

A couple of the laurels at my church are in my Unhallowed Metropolis group. One plays an Undertaker, the other a Doctor. The doctor is trying to create a 'perfected' version of the thrope serum that's not contagious, and doesn't have the whole 'the longer you're a thrope, the more easily you change, and the harder it is to change back, until you're permanently a monster' thing.

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>>48594741
But Anon, finding a surrogate sow means that your Trap Wife was worse at making a child and had to have a woman do it

>>48592294
How a skilled illusionist keeps out adventurers.

>>48592517
Chances are someone's going to lose a limb to this. I've seen people tie a rope to themselves and dive into it.

>>48589153

An open door and the words 'Good luck' painted in blood above it.

>>48589153
Meaning in your life

>>48592935
Yes we do.

>>48593154
Nah, these days they teach you to be pretty respecting of other people's religions. When I was doing the door knocking thing I made it a point to respect people's beliefs. Heck, I found a few people who gave me some insight on how to live my own religion better.

>>48589153
A puzzle

>>48592409
>Scores over 8.5/10
Paid reviews therefore shit.

>>48592517
I never understood the appeal of this

so you are all engaging in a long running interactive story telling experience and then the GM decides that everyone enters the suicide dungeon.

like WHY? I could only see it being playable as a one-off just to see how far your group can get

>>48597292
>one-off
That's literally the point, I believe. The intention was for convention play, and it was made to be a test of the players' knowledge and skill.

No GM should put that thing in a normal campaign.

>>48594565
Maybe you're a beast

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>>48589153
Several thousand tons of waterlogged rubble.
>dammit, we've been here before!

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>>48589153
I am disappointed this has not been posted yet.

>>48589153
Worst things to find at a dungeon entrance

>Super weenie dungeon jr.

>A sign that reads: no mimics ahead we swear.

>Welcome to the cave of tears

>Warning, traps ahead
And below that
>Welcome to the cave of Amazonians

>A heavily fortified door, impossible to break, in the entrance there is a welcome mat, and an obviously fake rock.
Plot twist, the door is a mimic.

>A sign that says, welcome to the cave of mimics, traps, uneven floors, and blind corners.

>The entrance is the back of a van that reads. Free XP.

>>48589153
Zombie babies? A pile pf discarded and bloodied clothing?

>>48592935
Can confirm.

>>48594211
Go back to your marsh kajit!!!

>>48594791
Ah, Haggard, I never thought I'd see you again.

>>48598488
I thought the lizards lived in the marsh and the cats are in a desert or something.

>>48589153
Dungeon boss running away in panic

A sign that says "Houserules in effect"

>>48589153
Your sense of mortality.

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>>48592131
>>48592175
'nuff said

>>48602313
i don't know why I've always had it be a safe place, is this a real thing or have we all been living a lie?

>>48598515
Jep, that's a sign stuff has gone wrong...

>>48589153
A sign reading: "insert rival adventure party name" was here

>>48597292
>>48597674
Correct. Also, from the way I heard it, Gygax was told by his players that his dungeons were too easy, and they wanted a harder challenge. So he gave them one, he didn't spring it on them when they were hoping to punch some goblins or focus on roleplay.

>>48604678
Its pretty sad how there's this misconception now that Gygax wrote shitty modules because the one adventure he wrote specifically to be an awful character meat-grinder was too good at its job.

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A small group of hammerspace dragons, standing, sitting, or laying next to a sign with various services and prices on it.
Y'know, stuff like a way to keep the large amounts of treasure safe and compact. And one of them is really good at massages, excellent with her claws. What did you think I meant?

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>>48589153
This sigil

>>48592438
Mutilated bodies that look like someone was trying to construct flesh sculptures of the party members with a note that reads, "I tried. I'll do better when you get here."

>>48591887
Implying that is bad thing

>>48589153
Nothing.

>>48589153
A pile of gold and enxhqnted weapons.

>>48606692
/thread

>>48603461
I think that's just polite.

Having traps in the foyer is what a smart villain would do, though. But it works only once. ONCE. But it will probably kill somebody.

>>48602313
>safe space
opinion discarded

>>48607113
That's the actual quote, man.

>>48607047
>Open the door, nothing is there.
>No walls
>No floor
>No air
Roll reflex to avoid being sucked in the vacuum of absence.
>Saved
Roll San for having seen the void with the waking eye.

>>48607200
That makes it even worse.

>>48606692
What is this?

>Thousands of banana peels
>Every girl (or guy) you have ever had a crush on

Go ahead, dear traveler! See if you can make it through SlapStick Canyon while cute girl watch you fall!

>>48607224
Pretending words can only have one meaning, buzzwords especially.

>>48607256
If you're curious enough to want to know, you're already going to fucking die.

>>48592321
Get the fuck out of here Dan. Your cloning fuckery was too heady for the rest of the table.

>>48594730
are you stupid?
because you're acting stupid.

>>48589153
That. Whatever the fuck that is.

The entrance is a well.

>>48589153
"Here lies [PCname]"

>>48597292
>you are all engaging in a long running interactive story telling experience

Fuck is that? I just play rpgs

>>48608005
>"Here lies [PCname] he/she never scored"
FIFY

>>48607601
its a human skin rug, instead of a bear skin rug

>>48592098
>Someone seals a thousand wasps in a dungeon
>Hundreds of years pass and some chuckle fuck starts to spread a tale of ancient power hidden within
>Adventurers find dungeon
>Hear buzzing from outside
>Think it's a buzzing energy from something powerful
>It's actually a billion wasps whose population grew over the hundreds of years
>Unleash world ending Wasp Swarm

Perfect

>>48608244
How do wasps survive in the confinement? Magic flowers or some shit?

>>48598488
>>48598508
it's also spelled khajiit

t. someone who actually knows about TES

>>48589153
A sign that says, /tg/ meetup here!

>>48608411

It's spelled "thieving gypsy."

>>48589153
A door that can only be opened by the fifty-two spirit crystals that were originally one gigantic crystal known as the Alterstone which was a magical gemstone given to the ancient goddess by her distant admirer as a sign of a good will when the crystal was stolen by the god of thieves it was later destroyed and scattered across the world into the eponymous fifty-two pieces and awaits the day that a party of adventurers will set off and reclaim all fifty-two pieces from dungeons boss monsters enemies benefactors traitors warring nations sacred temples and other places as they quest to unite the fifty-two pieces to create the original gem stone which can be used to open any door and can also be used to defeat the ancient god of darkness who is slowly being resurrected by his one-eyed cultists so that he can engulf the world in shadow and devour it

>>48594791

So she's better at delegating and is maintaining my sanity by not making me go through pregnant woman hormone swings and tears.

>>48608308
They survive on pure hatred of all other life alone.

>>48589153
An NPC that wants to recruit you. It never goes smoothly.

>>48608659
Man, fuck wasps. You ever see videos of them murdering entire hives of bees so they can eat the bees' children?

>>48608696
Oooh, that's a great idea for an encounter! Baby-eating wasps!

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>>48608696
They are 100% evil

This reminds me of my boss at a summer camp I worked at.

>Old as fuck outdoors guy
>Drinks coffee, drives his off-road cart and fixes shit
>Watched him once smash a wasp with an open palm slap because it was buzzing near him and then got a glove and proceeded to pick up and throw nearby Wasp nest into woods

A guide and tour shop,,,,,and a Starbucks

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>>48608551

>>48607256
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_of_Pain

A velvet rope, a bouncer holding a clipboard, and the pulse of bass coming through the walls.

There's no way the whole party is cool enough to get in.

>>48594545

>Thinks tumblr feminists are easily triggered
>Literally always falls for the bait
>Triggered

Never change, 4chan

>>48590817

I dunno, everybody else enters OPs mum just fine, dungeon shouldn't be different.

>>48594545

And you'll keep telling yourself that up until you admit to yourself you're gay and just go for it.

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>>48589352
My very conservative Mormon father decided to get me into DnD because he liked the social, cooperative aspects he saw. Hounded me for about 2 months before I went to the FLGS to play. He's not so into it himself but he's willing to play every once in a while. Always playing the same character, a LG ranger that was more nature guide than fighter and based off his hero John Denver.

>>48609742
Your father sounds like a good man

My pick would be a sign at the entrance saying;

''you don't have to be mad to work here ...but it helps''(five exclamation points)

>>48594791

>Trap Wife was worse at making a child...

Except the very act of having children makes everything worse, so the fact that it would be impossible improves the situation in every way.

>>48608551
Yeah I dislike JRPGs too

>>48609096
>Western Narrative Design
"An adventure to reclaim shards of a lost artifact and defeat an ancient evil that yearns for genocide."

>Eastern Narrative Design
>>48608551

>>48610469
>"An adventure to reclaim shards of a lost artifact and defeat an ancient evil that yearns for genocide."
Isn't that FF1 though?

>>48610609
I think the joke is that japanese stuff and western stuff sometimes tell the same stories, but the japanese versions make it convoluted for no reason

>>48589153
A narrow hallway filled with dicks. Trying to proceed makes them erect, and the only way to escape or move on is to keep jacking them off.
The treasure chest contains a horse dick shaped war hammer that curses it's wielder to become a massive gay slut that needs sex, otherwise they die

>>48592935
Yep

>>48611184
Pull back and lamp oil that mofo.
I aint need no magic realm!
And dont handle magic doodads woth your bare hands.
Use a hireling

>>48611292
These dicks are magical and cannot be dealt with any other way

>>48609096
>"western" hero
Cloud Strife
>"eastern" hero
Eliminster

Wow it's almost like good and bad hero archetypes can be found anywhere

>>48592935
You don't know what horror is until you move out and realize other people never had Family Game night where you played SR and 2E. I mean other board games and shit too, but it was those two we played the most.

Also Churchball is serious fucking business. Never play with Mormons if you don't want to constantly be fouled.

>>48605613
>Draconic Bazaar
I am okay with this, sounds like a wonderful little side trip between quests.

>>48607206
I'll be stealing this.

>>48607300
You're a monster...

Dead dwarves and goblin arrows.

>>48609742
Found my next character

>>48598420
>fuck you I wont do what you tell me.jpg

>>48609956
>five exclamation points

Yup, that'd do it.

>>48589153
'BEWARE: CLOWNS WITHIN'

>>48592252
i think it was a spongebob reference anon
not sjw

>>48607206
Real fake doors?

>>48589153
A door with a hole that looks inviting in the door.

As I know someone in the party will try fuck it to get it open.

>>48589153
A sign that reads "Free candy inside"

>>48589153
The exit
You've spent three days preparing mentally for the dungeon raid. You've spent hundreds upon thousands of coins on equipment. You've spent five days trekking through the wilderness to get their. You've used the secret key that you recovered from an ancient old hermit along the way after beating him in a fiddle contest.
The dungeon door opens with a tone of pure un-noise, that sets your heart racing as you step into the dark tunnel.
There are no traps. There are no monsters. There is no treasure. There is no dungeon.
The dark tunnel emerges on the other side of the hill the dungeon was set into. You're given a pamphlet and asked to rate this dungeon. You give it a five because you don't want to make the sweet hobgoblin woman handing them out cry.
You spend 5 more days riding back, and wonder what the hell just happened.

> I did this once to my players who insisted there was fairy gold in a mound. I gave them a fucking golden door that led nowhere, and they got so pissed at me we stopped playing shortly afterwards.
10/10, would dungeon again.

>>48617723
fucking kek

>>48617723
They should have jacked the golden doors and walked into town all blinged out

>>48589153
Elven Droppings

>>48617723
>Campaign destroying dungeon of disappointment

I'll allow it

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>>48592619
kys

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>>48617723

>>48592409
I never got the hype over that series, I played the first one and it was shit.

I will grant that the gameplay was good but the story was crap and there was no real characterisation.

All those ratings suggest is that the reviewers liked it, not that it was a good RPG.

>>48589249

>mfw my family converted to Mormonism for a short time (formally Roman Catholic because mom's fiancee at the time (they broke up later) was converting (he really did it to get connections and a job which he got fired for later)
>my mom is religious but doesn't really understand the difference between religions (to her, Mormons and Catholics are the same, I love you mom but you don't really understand that shit very well)
>had to go to to Mormon Church constantly and my mom said I had to be over 18 to have my own religious views
>Mormons were all nice to me, but I just felt creeped out because all the ones I met only talk about religion even outside of church, they didn't seem to share any interests or hobbies, if I was lucky, I'd find one that's into sports, at least it's something
>constantly felt I was talking to fake people
>whenever I talked to a young Mormon kid my age, he would just ask how my day was, how is the weather, and after that, would just quote family guy and Simpsons jokes over and over
>eventually leave the church because no time to go to church and grew distant with them


Not gonna lie though, Mormon girls were pretty QT, too bad I couldn't really maintain a conversation with them for long. I mean Mormons are nice at least and I haven't really met any crazy ones. They're just kinda boring. At least my family didn't join Scientology or something.

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>>48619050
>my mom said I had to be over 18 to have my own religious views

See, that's a concept I never understood. Why did we decide 18 is the age of maturity, anyway? There isn't anything special about that year that distinguishes it from the years before or the years after.

>>48617723
If they were greedy for fairy gold, you clearly failed in GM duties. I'd assume that any fairy gold is either fake stuff that'll turn into walnuts/leaves the next day, or attached to a sneaky curse that's not very destructive but a pain in the ass. Sometimes literally.

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The dungeon entrance was actually a beast

>>48619208
It's a local norm, not a universal human norm.

Age of majority differs from country to country; we're all aware that it's sort of arbitrary, but there is a necessity to draw a line somewhere.

>>48619315
This is porn right?
Seems like it.

>>48619629
It was porn and I was not dissatisfied.

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>>48619315
Wait, there's Volume III?

>>48618916
>story was crap
Low quality bait or else you're too lazy to pay attention to the interaction of architexture, statues, the general state of the world, enemies and their positions relative to items, item descriptions, and all the rest.

>>48618916
Your bad review suggests that you didn't like it.

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>>48592935
Well...

>>48589153
You find a man guarding his wife's son near the entrance, prepared to fight you if you try to approach the dungeon.

>>48619897
Just got translated. its in sadpanda

>>48619669
the last part of that particular story did not throw you off? because I loved it and i am a sick person

A treasure chest

>>48620176
So yah, anon was right

>>48619208

18-21 is when science says the brain has stopped growing and "matured". You'll still regenerate neurons but your capacity for thought is now at its peak.

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>>48591906

>>48619050
Sorry to hear that. Wish I could say that ain't a common problem.
Not that I've never met exciting Mormons. The fun Mormons are extremely fun, but yeah sometimes they're the exception rather than the rule.

>>48621669
>your capacity for thought is now at its peak.
I'm pretty sure that's bullshit

You start to lose brain plasticity between 20 and 25, but that doesn't mean you've reached your peak 'capacity for thought'. Just that you'd probably have more fixed mental processes and learn slower.