Inquisitorial Penal Regiment /tg/: Blueberries in the Sun Edition

>>48585303
And before anyone asks. No I am not going to shoot you if you do. I'll be pissed off, but I won't shoot you.

I'll be back in five minutes. I just got home from work and need a rinse(summer is a bitch sometimes).

>>48585303
Did someone say tech heresy? :)

>>48585434
quiet you! You're dead and limited to screwing with the toilet paper stocks (though I think that was fixed up). Even then, you should be worried about the Herald being blown up, considering its a three way brawl between the imperials(outnumbered), Tau (outnumbered slightly less) and the Orks (massive numbers)

>>48585303
>drops in quietly
Do I know how to repair a Tau cannon? You better believe it...

>smashes the control panel
>sets a small demo charge on the plasma coils

>>48585461
I thought you hated Xenos and their tech. Also... How the FETH, did you manage to get past the three orbiting fleets Gary!?

>>48585459
that's what you think. now i have the towel dispensers too!

>>48585461
>The mans eyes go wide as the catachan attached a demo charge go the planetary gun command center
NOT DESTORY GARY! REPAIR! REPAIR!!! ALSO DONT DO IT! YOULL COLLPASE THIS WHOLE PLACE!!!

>>48585484
we have towel dispensers!?! O_O

>>48585479
Uh, yes I absolutely hate xenos and all their abominable tech. That's why I'm "fixing" this thing to the way it should be. Which is completely broken.

I was with one of those other fleets, guy. And being an independently operating Inquisition trooper has some damned nice perks...

>>48585506
they got walled off and are outdated...How do you think i got them?

>>48585517
It's already BROKEN GARY! The fleet wants it to be FIXED! AS IN WORKING!!! AS IN OPERATIONAL! AS IN IT CAN FIRE AT TARGETS!

>>48585492
Destroying it is part of my job. But yeah, ok, I won't use charges, see your point there.
>severs a cluster of cables

What do you want this thing for anyway? I can get one of those ship captains to get you an honest human weapon very easily.

>the older gentleman would be busy tending to the wounded as there is nothing else for him to do.
>happily the man would treat those close to death and offer each of them a muffin once they were patched up
I should have become a medic not a Navigator.
>sighs

>>48585542

>The mans eye would twitch.
Dammit Gary! Thats the whole point! We can't GET ANY guns down here! Especially with the fleet getting its ass handed to it by the Tau and Orks up there! We needed that gun operational again in order to turn the tide and get reinforcements down here!
>He'd motion behind him, and towards the hundred or so dead guardsmen in body bags behind him, in addition to the few dozen badly wounded.
Now what the hell do we do!?

>>48585634
What do we do? We hold the Thronedamn line and call in some favors to get us help. Where's a vox caster? Let me get one of the fleet astropaths to send a message. And I happen to be aware of a hidden orbital gun battery nearby, so seriously, we don't need this xenos piece of shit.

>>48585684

>The man would face palm hard at this.
Gary... we don't stand a chance right now! We're smack dab in the middle of an Ork Waaaaaaaagh! On a former imperial with NO possible way off at this point. We barely have his xeno gun base under our control. How can You expect a single squad to go out in that! It's almost as bad out there as Gospyria! And we had a hell of a lot more men at our side back then!

>>48585729
And let me add on, that, that Ork waaaagh isnt even a regular one! They're willing to quite literally BLOW THEMSELVES UP just to reach us!

>>48585565
Aren't you glad you're normally on a ship?

>>48585729
>Returns from his "Research subject gathering"
Would you quiet down a bit... I could hear you all the way to the Ork trenches.

>>48585749
I'm just glad to be off that blasted ship.
>offers the man a muffin.
it's just a shame I can't get out more often.

>>48585765
Great... a fee dozen of 'us', trapped in between a suicidal Ork Waaaaagh, and enough Tau, Gue'vesa' and their other allies to fill a mountain... what more could go wrong!?

>>48585729
>>48585749
Have a little faith, soldier. Working with the Inquisition has given me a few cards to play in these situations. Come over here...
>walks over to what appears to be a storage shed overlooked by the Tau occupiers
>tears off a wall panel
>a small sealed door is behind it

This leads to a tunnel network they prepared. I can't guarantee there won't be any orks in the system, but there is a route to the gun battery. You'd best get everyone ready to get in here, cause I'm probably going to have to collapse this entrance once we're through.
>scans his credentials
>door hisses open

>>48585835
and the Imperial prom is tomorrow!

>>48585835
Well, it may not be much of a relief, but I gained enough research material to continue my work after we make it out of here.

>>48585871

Mot... I swear to the Emperor that I will JAM MY FINGER INTO THAT HOLE IN YOUR CHEST!!!

>>48585847
Why is it that stupid shit like this always happens...

And I doubt they over looked it Gary. Intel says this planet offered to join the Tau... so I'm betting there'll be traitors in there, if not worse.

And since this is your plan-
>He'd motion for the Major to go first.
Lead the way~!

>>48585954
hey need backup? just incorporate some drones to my WIFI network no strings attached!

>>48585954
no can do sir they already patched me up.
>smirks at the man but loads his shotgun as he stands ready to enter tunnels.

>>48585954
>chuckles
>readies his flamer
Do I look like some flimsy bureaucrat to you? Stop being such a negative nancy, what's a few traitors compared to a horde of orks?
>turns on a flashlight
Make sure the last men through seal the entrance.

>>48585999
>The man would sigh, before checking his bolt pistol and lasrifle.
I hate you people... I honestly do... I want you all to know that.
>He'd then mumble something about and easier job

>>48586020
The fact that these traitors have battlesuits and own the planet both groundwise and in orbit.
>He'd make his way into the hatch.
All we had to do was hope Hawthorne could fix the damn thing... that's all that needed to happen...

>>48586058
Really? You would put your trust in a woman who comes from a Tau world to help you fight Tau? Emprahs bones... And Battlesuits are not a problem. All the entrances are far too small for them to get their big nasty ones through, and I can smell out their stealth suits. We might have to fight for the gun battery itself, but that shouldn't be a problem.

>>48586058
>vox crackles to life
Lieutenant! I need a progress report on your mission to disable the planetary defense guns! We are holding off the orks but the Tau threaten to seriously damage the fleet!

>>48586030
we love you too sir, we're like a family, an angry disfunctional family... with Chaos and Xenos infiltrators.
>sighs.

>Waking up, with a slightly better coloration to her person, the Mordant Acid Dog gets on her feet, rather disappointing nobody attached an arm to where she should have one.

Guess today's schedule includes stealing mesself an arm... or making one, whichever happens first I guess.

>She got up, fashioning a skirt out of her jacket, it was a desert, she didn't need the jacket anyway

So we fightin' in tunnels or what?

>>48586248
That's right. Stay frosty for orks, traitors, and Tau.

>>48586270
who needs two hands anyway?

>She picks up her laspistol, and placing her combat fork in her mouth, holding it with her teeth.

Hwy whouldnae knhow bouht hwhwere ish coush geht anudha arm?
Bad attempt at replicating "You wouldn't know 'bout where I could get another arm" with a fork held in mouth

>>48586141
>He'd answer his vox
The main gun is completely out of the fight admiral. As in, a certain catachan Major snuck in during the fighting and utterly ruined it after we recieved orders to fix and use it against the Tau.
>He'd glance towards to Gary for a moment before returning his attentions to the transmission.
Most of my troops are either dead or dying at this point, Sir... The guns were far hotter than we expected, and most of the dropships never made it down.
>The officer would sigh, before continuing
What few of us are left are on our way towards the supposed location of an old Imperial planetary defense gun that our Inquisitorial catachan says might be here.

I'll notify you once we arrive. But don't expect any survivors at the end of this, Sir.

>>48586217
Hence why we call it 'Dreg-Crosser' squad...

>>48586301
Find a dead cogboy and salvage his arm, for a more immediate solution. Eventually you may be able to get a vat grown replacement arm, like I did.

>>48586307
Very well. I wish you luck in securing the gun.

>>48586307
>smiles to himself
Everything ready, El-Tee?

>>48586217
Personally, I'm ok with the Xenos. Not so much the Chaos... always ends up with half a ship dead, and the other half being studied for days on weither or not they should be shot.

>>48586301
Well... considering you can't get 'off' any other way... I'd say you do.
>A small smile would cross his lips as he kept his eyes forward.

By the way... your "pink folds" are showing again...

>>48586367
Traitors aren't that bad, nor are Xenos, it's the Genestealer cults that get me, worst of both worlds if you ask me
>he shudders and holds his shotgu close to his chest.

>>48586340
Understood, Sir! Ordenius out!
>He'd disconnect.

>>48586352
Fleets worse off than I thought... apparently the Tau might have gotten reinforcements. Since the battle just swung in their favour.
>He'd keep his eyes on the tunnel before him.

Hopefully the damn thing is still operational after all this time... must be hidden pretty good if the ol' planetary Governor didn't even know about it...

>>48586324
I'd rather not loot the cogboys, just doesn't feel right...

>>48586367
>she spits her fork out and it gets stuck on a wall
FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Now there's at least TWO reasons why I need another hand, 1. Covering meself up, and 2. getting off.

And besides, I can't prime and chuck a detpack effectively, I have to prime it and chuck it, I can't prime it while chucking it!

>>48586367
>>48586383
Traitors, xenos, cults and assorted enemies, all are to be destroyed without a second thought. The Inquisition and the Administratum only might fuck you over, but the enemies of the Imperium? They'll most certainly fuck you over.

>>48586383
God... don't even get me started on the Tyranids.
>He'd shudder at the thought of those claws ripping through his body.
The last thing this galaxy needs is those things...

>>48586444
if you ask me the last thing this galaxy needs is us.

>>48586436
>The mans smirk would thankfully be hidden by the darkness of the tunnel.
Then why didn't you shoot Larrs, Hawthorne, Bob, or plenty of others before you left? Hmm?

>>48586414
You really believe that one piece of junk would have made a difference? Come to think of it, I neglected to mention that the controls of where we are headed also activates defensive turrets around the cities to keep the cities under control, as well as a couple of other gun batteries.

Don't ask me why the bosses had all these defenses built. It's above my pay grade.

>>48586467
>The mans brow would raise slightly at this.
Humanity...?
>He'd cast a quick glance towards the major. Fully prepared to dive for cover, should he begin freaking out

>>48586512
>shakes his head laughing.
I mean the regiment moron, humanity has done wonders but this regiment is a mess.

>>48586491
>augmetic eye means he can see perfectly well
Because of orders and bigger threats. We might let aberrants like that alone for awhile, if they're useful.

>>48586501
All this for a minor mining planet with a total population of less than five million? Either the Inqustion is playing with things they shouldn't be. Or somebodies REAL paranoid about people walking on the grass...

>>48586529
Good. Never waste resources that still have a purpose.

>>48586523
>The man would chuckle lightly at this.
No point trying to change what isn't broken Mot... and don't call a superior officer a moron! At least not directly to their face.

>>48586529
I haven't worked to closely with Xenos before Jackson transfered me into the regiment after Somerius. But I've come to see many of them as my best friends over the last few months...

>>48586420
I hear you can get something called "a double ended dildo" on certain pleasure planets near the core.

>>48586542
Minor mining planets are perfect places for hidden bases and labs. But I'd cut the speculation if I were you. If the bosses don't want us to know, then we don't need to know.

We're about halfway to the control room now. I don't smell anything, but let's be ready...

how do yall want to determine whether we'll need to fight, or what we'll fight?

>>48586598
>determine
well since the Tau don't know this place exists, and since Gary has open access to the place, only one of two things make sense. Defense turrets and other automatons left over by the Inqustion, or Ork looters mixed in. Either way it's a battle

>>48586597
>repeats back what the man just said
No point trying to change what isn't broken
>laughs again
that should be our motto ya know.
>>48586598
either way I have a bad feeling about all this
maybe one of us should take the roll of Antag Anon

>>48586646
guess that's my job I suppose!

>>48586626
>>48586646
>halts suddenly
Motherfucker... combat servitors up ahead. That wasn't in the files. Well let's see...
>tries to remotely shut them down
>he doesn't have the appropriate clearance codes

Fucking shit... alright, get ready for a tussle.

>>48586683
Servitors... Bah, worthless for me.
>Draws his pistols

>>48586683
>standing at the back the Navigator would step forward and draw his bolter pistol.
they shall be dealt with quickly.

>>48586597
Aye, met a RT once, swanky focker, she 'ad one of those things... I really didn't see the point of it at first...

Er, maybe I'll jus' stay quiet now

>>48586683
Solid copy, Acid dogs gettin in the fight!

>She aims her laspistol to the front of her

Err, jus' this one thing, I aint much help in the back here, but I'm less help in the front..so uh, I'll try an' get some potshots done from back here.

>>48586727
You seem to be missing an arm. If you would like, you can have my cybernetic. It´s starting to be more an annoyance than a useful tool...

Rolled 11 + 15 (1d30 + 15)

>rollan for number of servitors, at least 16 of them
>the servitors sense movement and awaken
>converging on entry vectors
>not particularly heavy duty units, but dangerous enough

>>48586683
>The combat servitors indeed do not respond properly to your clearance level.
>They do however, turn their attention towards you. Their weapons drawn and ready to fire.
>One of the mindless drones speaks up.
"Unidentified intruders detected. Please supply nesscessary clearance, or be prepared to met the Emperor."

>>48586786
like I said, I was going to do it... I've been wanting to do this for a little while now.

>>48586787
both things happen, I'll leave it to you if you want, either way works

>>48586803
Kool, thanks, saves me the bother

>>48586761
If you can attach it and get it working right now, that'd be good, if not, maybe later

All I need it for is to hold me rifle so I can fuck'emup better yah?
>She seems interested, albeit she is rather pre-cooupied trying to adjust her make-shift skirt which she fashioned out of her jacket

Please identify yourselves, or prepare to meet the Emperor. This is your final warning.

>>48586847
>messages datapad
hey you seem like a reasonable person so would you mind logging one of those servitors to the WIFI network marked "Xeno do not contact" thanks

>>48586847
The sooner, the better. But these servitors are first priority.

>>48586851
I think we should identify ourselves, that or we start shooting.
>aims his pistol at the servitors.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48586851
Bitch, if you can't recognize an Inquisitorial agent, you're of no use!

>lights up closest servitor with flamer

Rolled 2, 19, 3, 6 = 30 (4d20)

>>48586873
Oh dear...
>Sprays at the servitors with autopistols

Rolled 5, 1, 6 = 12 (3d20)

>>48586869
>>48586873

>The technical servitors skin is charred black by the flames. And soon shuts down due to system overload.
>Several nearby gun servitors immediately train their guns upon the intruders and begin reaveing up before opening fire.
>As soon as the shots are fired, the lights go out, and are quickly replaced by flashing red, emergency lights. Causeing anyone without augmetics, or other light sources to lose visibility

Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>48586861
>checks her datapad

At what point did I get a datapad?
>Messages back
"No entiendo señor"

fooken salesmen...
>>48586865
Aye

>>48586851
The valhallans and the vostroyans 'ave a great saying for things like this... I can't remember it but it was something with a b...buh...bu...whatever, FOR EMPEROR IMPERIUM AND CAKE!

>Aims her laspistol at the servitors, firing a few potshots at them

Rolling for killy of shot

>>48586944
-5 due to being fucking blind

>>48586944
>Thankfully, one of the servitors seems to lack any ammo.

>>48586969
well there goes your gun... and your hand...

>>48586998
Or just someone's back has a nice little burn mark from a laspistol...

>>48586969
BLYET

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>48586944
>dodges the incoming fire however
>>48586969
>he's shot in the back by you and stumbles forward.
>due to mutations the man can see clearly in the low light and opens fire on the servitors.

Rolled 10, 17 + 1 = 28 (2d20 + 1)

>>48586891
>>48586873
>>48586969
>Sadly, only one shot does anything to harm the servitors due to the darkness. But even that only clips one in the leg.
>This however, does cause it to fall to the ground.
>The other two Gun servitors begin fireing back once again against the intruders.
>For those with good enough ears, something can be heard at the end if the room.

Rolled 9, 6 = 15 (2d20)

>>48586969
>does a flying Spetznaz kick on one servitor
>blasts another with flamer

>>48586891
Adept! Can you try and shut down the alarms?
>tosses over his credentials to provide system access

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>48587054
... What´s that sound?.. Where is it coming from?
>Ceases firing to identify the sound

>>48587016
Fooken las-shites, never good enough for anything, you'd think a fucking lasgun would do its job no matter who I'm aimin at it'd still shoot the enemy but nah, I probably fooken missed!

>>48587054
I don't have a good feeling 'bout anything right now

>coughs

Yup, not a good feeling about this.

Rolled 1 - 5 (1d20 - 5)

>>48587054
>opens fire blidnly into the servitors.
suck buckshot ya robot bastards

>>48586891
>messages datapad
hello adept would you mind connecting a servitor to the network provided please?

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>48587119
I´ll try.
>Rapidly enters a few Inquisitorial bypasses
>>48587163
If I can... But first, I´ll need to open a route. And fastest way to do that is to shut down the alarm and make a manual override.

>>48587204
>to datapad
do what you will and you have my thanks Adept

Rolled 9, 4, 14, 11, 3 = 41 (5d20)

>>48587141
>That, you figure out. Is the sound of a door at the end up the room opening up.
>And added to that, are what appears to be three additional sets of footsteps entering into the room.

>>48587158
>sadly not one of the shots hits it's mark
>>48587119
>Unfortunately for the Major. The device takes a bolter round through it.

>The assembled servitors proceed to attack enmass. With two of the newbies going after the major. One gun servitors firing at the adept. The other firing at Mot. And the last one running towards Hollow

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>48587246
>opens fire on the nearest servitor.
take that you bastards.

Rolled 3, 14, 4, 7 = 28 (4d20)

>>48587246
>His side bursts out as the bolter round detonates
>He looks down at his ruined flesh
>And his jacket
You... Tore and dirtied my jacket? Given to me by my master himself?!
>Starts walking towards the servitors, firing wildly as he closes the distance

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48587246
Ffffffuck! Well, at least some of my data should be intact if I can find a new housing...
>goes to tear out the spine of the servitor

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>48587246
>charges forwards with his dagger and stabs at a servitor.
eat this!

Rolled 18, 14, 13, 1, 18 = 64 (5d20)

>>48587330
>One of the servitors loses an arm. But it keeps pushing forward.
>>48587435
>The shot clearly misses. Instead striking against a nearby metal wall.

>>48587367
>You clear miss it spine, but you do grab hold of one of the servitors metal arms

>The servitors, feeling no pain, Nor fear continue their attack.
>at this point, Gary is able to determine that the two servitors that rushed him were technical servitors. And they each attempt to grab him by a limb with their claws.
>One gun Servitors attempts to pin down Mot with stream of continual bolter fire (-4 to all rolls if successful roll of 15 or less)
>The other gun servitors attempts to finish the job on the adept, by firing a continual burst of bolter rounds towards him.
>The remaining servitors attempts to grab the sergeant with its power claws in an effort to rip her limb from limb

>>48587578
if the sergeant is t here, than it attacks the navigator

Rolled 15 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>48587578
>slashes at a servitors neck

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>48587578
>arms and rolls a krak grenade into the group of servitors, laughing at the carnage he is about to create.

Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>48587578
>starts ripping the arm off to beat the servitor and fellows to death with it
>+3 for baby Ogryn muscles

Rolled 5, 9, 20, 12, 10, 10 = 66 (6d20)

>>48587578
>uses the opportunity as the servitor's gun fails
>Empties his clips at point-blank range, and starts hitting the servitor with his bare hands (last two rolls)

hey you guys know about the chat room right?[/spoiler

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>48587578
Nuh uh...not having this, nope, servitor gangbang not...bang?

Bang...boom..

No we're not blowing up ourselves, we made friends remember andy?

Andy?

>The deranged sergeant, "one armed bandit" and general liability engages the servitors in close combat, with a fork.
>with her one and only hand

Roollan for killy

Rolled 9, 17, 9 = 35 (3d20)

>>48587657
not even going to acknowledge the fact that it's ripping off your arm... fine then.
>Other than some minor damage to the room., The Krak grenade does little to dissuade the servitors.
>>48587636
sorry meant to say 15 or more XD fucking phone
>One of the servitors attacking Gary would lose its head, and would fall to the ground. Leaving him with one left to deal with.
>>48587725
>Sadly, the arm is attached to well for him to do anything it. The servitors however does have better luck against Gary's arm, and managed to break it in all the right(wrong) places.leaving him arm bent uselessly at a terrible angle.

>The remains four servitors press on with their attacks.
>The remaining servitor grappling Gary attempts to crush his other arm as well.
>One of the gun servitors attempts to fire a burst of bolter rounds in mots direction.
>The gun of the other gun servitor is forced to reload his entire weapon after it jams. Causing him to lose his action.
>The remaining servitor attempts to remove the Navigators other arm with its power claw.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>48587877
it's ripping my arm off? didn't read that sorry mate
>smashes his staff down on the nearest servitors head in a mixture of anger and pain,
fuck you!

>>48587783
>The final bolter round manages to hit something vital within its body. But does not shut down.
>The next few moments of melee combat , however, manage to finish off the servitor. As you rip out various important parts needed for its continued existence. And it soon falls to the floor in a heap. Offline.
>>48587795
>Sadly, nothing manages to do anything to it, as it continues to try and rip out the Navigators other arm

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>48587877
Aaaah! You fucking worthless piece of garbage!

>with other hand unslings shotgun and blasts it

>>48587918
well it did. Guess I should have explained that the rolls were corresponding to the place you were mentioned. For example, my third roll in >>48587877 was against you. Nine doesn't do shit so your arm is fine. Second spot was against Mot with a seventeen. That would hit, but not kill. And first was Gary,s o his other arm is fine for now

>>48587957
ah, that makes sense, sorry for the confusion

>>48587992
that's fine. We don't have a general system worked out, so I thought I'd try to make it more reliable for now

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48587921
>charges the next servitor and tries to tackle it

Rolled 17 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>>48587877
>takes the hit and collapses to the ground, clutching his wounds he draws his laspistol and fires at a servitor.

Rolled 12, 12, 18 = 42 (3d20)

>>48587918
>Even with your missing arm, you manage to pull forth the strength of a catachan in his youth, and manage to break off the servitors augmented eye. Shattering it to pieces. But it continues to press on in ripping off your arm
>>48587924
>The buckshot manages a few grazing hits against the servitors flesh and armor. But other than minor damage, continues in its attempt to rip off your arm.
>>48588013
>Sadly, the servitor is to heavy for your wounded form to knock down. And with a casual glance down towards you, it aims it's heavy bolter arm directly at you. Thee weapon reaveing up.
>>48588036
>The shot only grazes it's armored side, causing minor surface damage to the mindless automaton.

>The servitors, designed to feel neither pain, nor fear. Continue to press forth against the wounded imperials.
>The lone gun servitor, with its heavy bolter aimed at the adept, opens fire upon him(+3 due to being this close to him).
>The servitor grappling against Gary attempts to forcefully remove his one working arm.
>The technical servitor increases the power running to powerclaw, in an attempt to shatter, and then rip and tear the Navigators only good arm.

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>48588189
Oh I don't think so...
>puts gun to its head and fires
>+5 for point blank

>>48588189
Jesus Christ! What the hell is this!?! brutal doom?

>In the grim darkness of the future, there is only horrific and gruesome deaths by robot!

>>48588231
If a 14 only does minor damage to them, then they aren't doing much with a 12

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>48588189
>steadying his aim he fires again at the nearest servitor.
>>48588231
we'll win eventually but I think some of us might not make it through in one piece

>>48588225
>The shot goes wild. But it does provide one bit of use. It blows off the head of the servitor attacking the navigator right as his only useful arm is ripped out of its socket. Causing it to collapse backwards with a now armless man standing above it.

>>48588267
you're telling me! I just ripped both arms off a man who's never seen combat before!
>>48588277
I also only did this because I felt bad about it! Don't expect this too often!
>>48588257
Of course.

>>48588277
bruh, unless theyre rolling 19s and 20s, they aren't taking anyone's arm clean off. Broken maybe, but not torn off.

>>48588189
>>48588277
>looks on in horror at his missing arms.
by the Emperor I hope my insurance covers this.
>drops to his knees.

>>48588312
oh ok, disregard previous post. If he hasn't seen combat I guess that's different

>>48588324
ya that would make sense, scratch the post to be broken below the elbow.

>>48588324
>>48588341
>>48588346
let's just say he only lost one arm?

>>48588341
that is also true. He is the Heralds navigator after all. He wasn't supposed to be deployed, but he came anyways

>>48588363
>one
I'll agree to one arm lost and the other one broken if your fine with it. I'll leave which arm is which to you

>>48588386
>picking up his left arm in his right the man would stare blankly at it.
well this trip could have gone better.
>sighs.

Rolled 16, 5 = 21 (2d20)

>>48588267
>The shot misses horribly. Damaging only a part of the metal wall.
>>48588225
>Despite the point blank shot, the servitors grip upon your arm allows it to force the gun barrel away from it.

>With only two servitors left. They continue to attack. Spouting out prays to both the Emperor and the omnisaiah.
>The remaining technical servitor attempts to shatter Gary's arm with its power claw.
>The remaining gun servitor attempts to once again fire upon the adept at point blank range (+3)

>>48588013
>messages datapad
leave one alive!

thankfully this horrid encounter is almost complete and we can continue on with our mission

Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>48588465
>turns around to the gun servitor and fires his bolter at it screaming in the language of his old ship.
+2 for rightous fury

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>48588465
>a few bones crack
Grrrrrrrraaah!
>manages to inject himself with some morphine
>moves weapon back in place to fire

>>48588526
...and then everything exploded

Rolled 16, 20 = 36 (2d20)

>>48588189
>>48588465
>The first bolt shell hits Callidon's stomach
>It blows out a large chunk with it
I... Will not die here!
>Attempts to turn the gun aside as
he continues punching the servitor

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>48588465
>fires his laspistol at the remaining tech servitor.

>>48588526
praise be unto CRITICUS and the Emperor! Damn they scary!
>The shot manages to pierce through the armor and flesh of the gun servitor. Hiring many essential components to its survival.
>The gun servitor begins spinning around, fireing wildly afternoon it's targeting sensors were damaged.
>This damage, causes it to see the other servitor as it's opponent, and it quickly begins spraying it with heavy bolter fire. Tearing I to pieces and leaving only its powerclaw attached to garys arm.
>As it continues to spin around, it's systems begin o fully shut down, and I collapses into a heap of flesh and metal. Leaving the room eerily silent, and filling with smoke. The only light remaining belong to the red emergency lights flash upon the ceiling.

>>48588613
please deactivate it and don't damage the processor i beg of you

>>48588613
DAMN CRITICUS! YOU SCARY!

>>48588630
well then, I think I'm deserving a rest now.
>leans on his staff and sighs loudly.
I haven't had this much fun in decades you know.

>throws off the ruins of the servitor
>takes a very long drink

Alright. That could have been worse. Let's get this place up and running.

>>48588644
>pulls out the power pack and separates it from the rest
Now you can tamper with it all you want... It should have backup power for data relay and transmissions... Enough for you to slip in.

>>48588770
>messages datapad
ok so last time i was with the regiment i got blammed so im gonna pretend that you just hacked a servitor you ok with that?

>>48588814
Yes, I am fine with that. I'll reattach the power cell when you're ready.

>>48588849
ready

>Malak would come rushing out the entrance that the group had came in from.
Sorry I'm late guys! I stopped to tie up my boots and was attacked by serv-
>His mouth would be agape as he looks about the smoke filled, bullet ridden, blood covered office space.

-vi...tors...
...
...
...
Uhm-... what just happene in here? And why is the Heralds navigator missing an arm?

>>48588861
>Attaches the power cell again and shoves it back inside the servitor
And now to separate this cybernetic arm... I might need another pair of hands for this operation.
>grabs a bonesaw from his equipment

>>48588921
>waves with his one good arm.
hello there.

>>48588926
This unit is coming online praise the emperor
controllers identified...
High controller ID: Adept Callidon Novus
This unit is awaiting commands

>>48588965
>>48588926
>>48589026
>The man would only be able to blink in disbelief at the sight before him.
...
...
...
...
...

>>48589026
Hold my intestines in and keep my right arm still. I'll remove the cybernetic intact.

>>48589067
of course high controller your will is the will of the golden throne itself

>>48589061
like I said sir, we're the worst thing to happen to this universe.
>Laughs.

>>48588921
Servitors that the bosses didn't think we're important to brief me on. We'll all be alright. Now let's get this gun battery online so we can kick these snotty Tau out of our space.
>activates controls at main panel
>it can be felt that the room is rising
>viewports slide open
>orbital defense guns online
>perimeter defenses online

>>48589116
>Quickly saws off the arm and starts cutting out the wiring from the flesh and separating the cybernetic from the bone

What did I miss?

I uh... kind of...lost myself

>The deranged sergeant returned, partly covered in blood, whose blood, is anyone's guess.
>however, she is carrying what seems to be a arm prosthesis with her, and it looks rather impressive.

Also uh... I have no idea how to attach this thing, and it would be nice to get it attached so that I can use a proper gun yah?

>>48589158
>looks out across the landscape.
my what a beautiful view of this desolate world.

>>48589135
Mot... a man is missing his arm. Two men have broken arms. The adept over there is working on a servitor that tried to kill you all, whilst his intestines are being held in his hand! And to top it all off, now we're rising out the the GROUND!

>>48589209
Just... don't ask... it's better not to...

Just don't tell me you were using that arm for what I think you were...

>>48589253
>The man would shrug.
It looks better near the Ivella sea. The only place with any amount of water on this planet. Now let's hope the gun still works so we can rid ourselves of Micheal B'Ork and his suicidal ork waaaaaaagh.

>>48589267
>shrugs
but at least we won right? and that's all that matters, speaking of missing limbs where on this planet is Eisen?

>>48589299
>the hulking man would tap at a screen and smile.
it seems that everything is fully operational.

>>48589299
>>48589334
First thing is to get rid of the Tau. There we go, a nice fat cruiser right in our sights...
>a massive shell is loaded
>hits the firing lever with a wicked grin

>>48589300
He came down with me a few hours ago. Haven't seen him since.

>finally starts patching his wounds
that's it for me. Have fun guys!

that's me going off then lads, have a good one without Mot or the Navigator

>>48589452
Hello there [COMMANDING OFFICER] what is your will?

>>48589267
Nah, I wasn't, unless you thought about beating someone to death with it, because I might've done that, y'know anyone who could attach it on me?

>LOUD INCOMPREHENSIBLE SCREAMING

>>48590307
Is this one in pain?
Do you wish for anesthetics?

>>48590458
WHERE ARE WE!?

>>48590486
we are on the planet known as [DATA CORRUPTED]
In [DATA CLASSIFIED]

>>48590540
THAT'S NOT A PLANET!

>>48590543
Oy! Shut yer fooken mouth before I'll tear your guts out from ye throat and eat 'em for breakfast!

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GUARDSMAN OR I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU'LL PRAY FOR MARTYRDOM!!

>Just as a note, that's a one-armed veteran sergeant screaming at you while holding the augmentic arm she's supposed to get attached where she lacks an arm.
>Also note the useage of "she"
>also she's not wearing pants, a skirt fashioned out of her upper webgear but not pants.
>And she's pissed off

>>48590486
WE'RE ON A PLANET, INFESTED WITH ALL KINDS OF FOOKEN HERETICS AND XENOS, AND YOU'RE GOING TO FOOKEN TAKE PART IN KILLING THEM ALL OFF FOR THE BLOODY IMPERIUM! UNDERSTOOD GUARDSMAN?

>>48590643
WHY ARE YOU WEARING A SKIRT, SERGEANT?! I DO NOT MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT THAT IS TERRIBLE INEFFECTIVE!

>>48590289
Sadly no. But I'll see if one of the medics back at camp can.

>>48590543
>>48590643
Both of you calm down.
>He'd turn his attention to Hank.
Now then, what unit are you from trooper?

>>48590752
I don't even remember sir..I was in cryo for months then I reawoke and..
>he looks super reluctant
>he has a robotic right arm and a eyepath over the left eye

>>48590712
Trooper! Would you mind lowering your voice? We're quite literally next to you, so there's no need to shout
also, I feel like I've seen your name somewhere.... one of the earlier threads maybe?

>>48590780
>is shaking
I've been here since the beginning, but I only pop on sometimes. At first poor hank had a crush on one of his superiors, huehue. that didnt end well at all

>>48590712
Because I lost my lower webgear

>>48590752
Roger that Sir, I'll go see if I can find a medic somewhere. If not, guess I'll just look for the instructions from the datapad...

>>48590804
>He'd harshly smack the trooper across the face.
Calm down dammit!

>>48590883
Awaiting command for anesthetic Y/N?

>>48590908
Ask her, not me.

>>48590861
W..What-
>>48590883
AGH!
S-SORRY SIR..

>>48590908
>>48590926
Huh? I don't need anesthetics?

>>48590951
Combat bandaging trooper, ever heard of it? Or do you hail from one of those pansy ass worlds where you have a servitor nanny with you all the time?

Now calm yourself down, we still have much to do.

>>48590974
Not you [SERGEANT] the extremely mound guardsman

>>48591018
loud damn autocorrect

>>48591018
Ooh... inquiry, do you possess the knowledge to appropriately attach and activate a augmentation? Specifically arm augmentation, I need to replace my lost arm.

Also, secondary query, where can I possibly find equipment to replace my broken and/or malfunctioning/lost equipment with operational ones?

>>48590974
O..Ok..i'm actually a farmer..

>>48591109
Well in that case you should know that when you lack the necessary supplies to perform a critical task, such as bandaging a wound, you make do with what you have.

Which was the case with my pants. I had to make do with what I had, and decided that my pants were a suitable target for sacrifice in order to bandage my wound.

>points to her shoulder, which lacks an arm, with her augmented arm, which she is holding with her remaining hand

Did you understand me now or do I have to beat it into your head?

>>48591106
I do have knowledge of augmentation and would be happy to help
>you may wonder how a technical servitor has medical knowledge
You may find inquisitional grade equipment in that wall cavity over there

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48591195
Great, priorities first, equipment first, then augmentation, ready this for attachment will you?
>she tosses the servitor her ag-arm which she had found, it still had some bits of flesh attached to the shoulderpiece

>Whistling as she heads toward the cavity, she looks for fitting webgear pants, armor, paints...anything useful.

Rollan for loot

>>48591162
Well to be honest, it was because you had your cooch flapping about because you decided to wear short-shorts.

>>48591162
>Looks up from the console
You can try and teach and yell at Hank all you want, Sergeant, it won't make him any more calm or under control. But, somehow he keeps surviving, so there must be something he gets right.

>>48591236
Well I made the short shorts because I had to reinforce the bandaging for the gaping whole from where my arm used to be.

>>48591252
Roger that jungleman, is he safe enough to hand a weapon to?

>>48591229
>while ransacking the equipment she finds...
>A frag grenade

Eh could be worse

>she pockets it and grabs the pants she found, and sets to wear them.

>>48591162
R..Right...
>>48591252
>SALUTES
C-COLONEL I MEAN, SERGEANT, I MEAN..UH..C..CORPORAL GARY SIR!

>>48591229
>cleans flesh off while steadying the augment in clamps made for heavy lifting

>>48591286
>shrugs

Could be worse...

>>48591333
>trips of success
>who needs dice rolls when you get triple 3's
Just fucking around m8

>Returns, now wearing pants and holding her jacket as she un-skirt-ifies it

So, are we ready to attach an augmentation?

>>48591277
Eh, it depends on the weapon. He's fine with a lasgun I think.

>>48591286
>shakes his head a little
As you were, Hank.

>>48591362
>The Lt would be seated upon an old broken desk, with his back against the wall as he looks out the viewport.

Well at least no one can see your fold anymore.

>>48591387
>>48591362
>CONTINUES TO SALUTE

>>48591362
Ready awaiting command to proceed
sorry honestly forgot roll

>>48591442
Dammit Hank, at ease! That means you can stop saluting and sit down. And don't apologize, nobody that knows you can be offended.

>mutters
He's going to do it anyway isn't he...

>>48591475
Likely Gary... very likely...

>>48591387
So a lasgun is what I'll give him if I find one

>>48591436
Eh, should get proper gear once we get off...the planet.

And then you won't have to worry about seeing my fold anymore, unless you wake me up or something if we get to a proper base with private quarters...

>>48591449
no worries

Let's do this, proceed with implantation of augmented arm.

>>48591475
SORRY SIR!
>Puts his hand down

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>48591575
Proceeding

>>48591601
and then it exploded

WARNING you have sustained tissue damage to your stump but with new data we can retry

>>48591635
Retry then...throne-damnit!

>the frustrated one armed bandit lacked the patience for this kind of utter fucking bullshit

Well an explosion would've been ridiculous

>>48591575
>It takes all if Malaks willpower to keep himself from laughing at the guards woman.

Somehow, I feel myself, and the rest of the regiment are going to see it anyways.

Besides, I wouldn't expect us to be leaving this planet anytime soon. We've still got to get rid of that Ork Warboss Micheal B'Ork. And rid this planet of the Tau

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>48591664
I am sorry this unit is not outfitted for medical situations nevertheless retrying

>>48591693
Throne above...

>>48591693
>the servitor Is having trouble with attaching the augment
I am sorry this unit is not optimised for this work I can transmit the procedure to your standards imperious hardware datapad for when you find someone even slightly better than a unit made for heavy lifting

Fuck me in the arse and call me sally, what a fuckup

>>48591666
>>48591666
Witnessed, satan

Very likely sir, very likely, I used to be notorious for combat-streaking.

>She chuckles looking at him as the servitor not outfitted for surgical procedures like inserting augmentations tries to jam the aug arm against her stump

So, decapitate the waagh and win the war?
And after that, eliminate all Tau presence from the planet.

We're not going to stick around and clean up right? I wouldn't really feel at ease if I had to take care of some baby-sitting

>>48591742
Do that...and find me bandages or something, and something to disinfect the wound with... Raid a medicae section if you have to...

Or if you can instruct me how to do it myself, that could work too...

>>48591743
>>48591587
>sighs profoundly
>drags Hank over
>holds him down and hooks him up to a surgical tube, and the other end to Sisarius, to stop the blood loss
>throws a box of snack cakes he found on the table

Eat up, Hank. You're gonna want to replenish your blood.

>>48591772
There is no need to raid anything
>the servitor reaches down to a small pile of medicinal goods having clearly predicted this

>>48591804
Sir..the inquisition..really are uh...jerks. No Offense!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>48591840
Great job, now if you'll talk me trough the process of implanting this bloody arm on me fooken stump, that'd be nice.

And provide the tools required to do it.

>>48591804
On site bloodbag, Gary, was it? You're a genious.

>>48591844
They are Hank, they sure are, but what are you going to do about it? I couldn't do jack and here I have you being my bloodbag, albeit it was Gary's initiative...

rollan for attaching the arm with pure luck

>>48591844
Hank... you're preaching to the choir.

>>48591772
Why does that not surprise me sergeant.

>>48591892
combat roll
DO DEADLY COMBAT WITH THE AUGMENTATION

>>48591892
You're welcome. Hank needs toughening up anyway.

And hey, looks like the arm is starting to work.

>>48591892
Well done you have attached the arm magnificently though would you mind telling me where you got it

File: getmeoutofthisnightmare.png (486KB, 667x429px) Image search: [Google]

486KB, 667x429px

>>48591920
>>48591892
True..
..I..I just wanna go home..and milk the cows..and laugh with my sister..and drink with my family...
>hank's face as he imagines this

>>48591920
Because you already imagined me running around naked on the battlefield, at least once before we even made landfall?

>>48591935
Thank god for all the "nothing is set in stone" part... would be a sad waste of a good roll to have to re-roll it

>>48591963
>She tests the arm, having no idea how she even attached it in the first place

I...wow... I kind of expected it to be more difficult after what the servitor did...

>Checks the designation plate
>"PROTOTYPE AUTOMATICALLY ATTACHING AUGMENT-PIECE"

Guess that explains it...


Man I cut corners all around, but I did manage to roll a 1-5 this thread, so I'm kind of entitled to cut a couple corners in compensation for "fucking bullshit"

>>48591992
I..found it..when I was..on my way here...

>She was lying, rather obviously, but making a story up was better than admitting she had no idea where she got it from, she just kind of "woke up" in the control room, holding the augment

>>48592008
Well if you keep surviving like you been doing you'll probably get your chance. Sometimes things work out for people.

>>48592010
How bout that. So uh, I imagine it's been a long time since you had a man, am I right? You fancy Hank here? I figure a good strong woman like you ought to do him some good. Win-win right?

>>48592010
PFFFT. There's nothing to imagine sergeant. Besides, you're not my type I told you.

>>48592068
>Every fiber of the mans being would want him- BEG FOR HIM to laugh at this! But he would resist the temptation.
Well, just make sure I'm not around when you do it.

>>48592010
A prototype I wonder what else it can do...

>>48592094
Yeah, I don't want to be around for that either. I'm just trying to arrange it.

>>48592068
Yes sir!
>Get on steam, new mages guild thread.

>>48592126
i can't get on steam I'm on a phone :(

>>48592008
>>48592068

You're trying to pimp me skinny arse out to a guardsman? sir?

>>48592074
Guess my ultimate plan of fucking me way up the ranks isn't an option...

>She tests out her aug arm, trying to figure out its machinations

Guess this will suffice.

>>48592111
What was that?

>>48592219
>here u go den fag >>48592071
>>48592249
W-WHAT?!
>Blushes

>>48592249
>shrug
Just a suggestion. You aint obliged to do it.

thread dead?

>>48592301
>>48592264

>looking at hank
Oh don't look so bloody embarassed, you'd like it even though I am just skin an' bones at the moment!

Take me to dinner a couple times first and I might consider Gary's suggestion...

>looks back at gary

As I said, I'll leave it to consideration

>>48592526
Euro time is night time, I'm pulling out too

>>48592596
>is blushing furiously and backs away into the bunkers