The villain is bleeding heavily. He's going to die in seconds.

>>48578059
How about... "If you kill me, you'll become just like me"

>I was trying to surrender, you assholes!

>>48578059
>This isn't even my final form.

>>48578059
"I buried all of my gold at... at... arghhh..."

>>48578059
"They tainted my soul with promises of power. Now you taint yours if I die, and they'll shackle you too."

>woooow it took 4 of you to kill me

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>>48578240
I kek'd. The mental image of the villain laying the cheesy acting on real thick as he's dying and talking about some random treasure he doesn't own is great

>>48578059
"Fools, you think I orchestrated this? Alone? My master lives still.. he is a lord of Shadows, he could be in this very room.. and his name is JOHN CENA!" [theme tune noises]

>>48578306
Perfect.
Don't even have the villain be pained. Just be a snarky asshole 'till their last breath.

>>48578306
>>48578455
I fucking love this idea. Just a guy with great powers who's a huge asshole that snarks all the way until the bitter end.

>Aghhhh, sword in my chest, aghhhh
>So anyway, aghhh, this amulet I'm wearing, it aghhhh makes it so that when I die, all my stuff gets disintegrated ha haagghhhhh

>>48578538

"Oh, you opened the door to my hoard? No treasure for you assholes, only wasps."

>>48578059
>B: "I have a little machine set up. Once I die, the bombs go off. If I die, I'm taking an entire city with me."
I actually played this card BEFORE the party decided whether to kill him or not.
He had set up a series of similar magical rune 'bombs' in one of his group's former buildings in a scorched earth/destroy the evidence effort, so it wasn't unjustified, either.
Not willing to call his bluff, they had him captured so that if he set off the explosions, he died too.
He actually did have it set up- and they had a 24-hour burn time so that in an emergency he'd be able to bail out, or any stupid asshole who stuck around to loot him after his death would get blown up after thinking nothing was wrong.
Set them off two weeks after the party left as a 'fuck you' to the city and to make sure he was dead for a step in an insanely complicated plan cooked up by his superior.

"Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention I had a ritual done so I'd become a spectre on death? Or was it a shade? Phantasm? Honestly there are too many little undead shits in sheets.
What I'm saying is haunting your asses for being massive dicks and killing me."

Time for plan B.

>>48578059
I always loved you son

>>48578059
>A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them, takes out a rooster and sets it on the bar. The priest says "why did you do that?" The bartender says...

>>48578059
Go with the classic, "No, wait! You have to know-agh!". Fucked with my Ghostbusters group hardcore.

>>48578240
>My treasure is yours for the taking, but you'll have to find it first
>I left everything I own in One Piece!

>>48578059
"You fools! The princess was my... was my..."

>>48578612
Yes. Every room in the castle is full of wasps

RELEASING DIRECT CONTROL OF THIS FORM

>You fools...I haven't even told you where the antidote is...

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>>48578747
Destiny?

>>48578750
But.. master, why? Why fight alongside these fools? Why hide who you truly are?

>>48578700
Topkek

>>48578059
>Thank you, I wasn't sure you guys would follow my bidding. So... predictable...

>>48578059
As long as he's been established as a sane character, just giggling/chuckling and dying with a laugh on his face should freak them out.

>>48578059
>You'll... never find another one like me, you know. Your last great adventure ends with the final rasping beats of my heart. Savour them while you can, for here your purpose dies.

THE "cough" ECONOMY!...you...idiots...

Do you feel like a hero yet? Was it- was it even worth it in the end?

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I can't decide if I prefer

>Please accept this humble sacrifice, oh Lord
or
>Fools, the final sacrifice was me!

>>48578059
>"I wonder... will my kingdom remain firm in the hands of those as dedicated as you... Or fall to ruin by way of those foolish enough to oppose me?"

Just. As. Planned.

Looks like I get to beat the queue.

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>>48578748
>Every room in the castle is full of WASPs
Fix'd.

>>48578059
>"And so dies the last of my race... A raven? Here? Seems that damned prophecy really was right."

>>48578810
Best one yet

Why is it.. that people think only heroes have friends with ressurection spells?

Remember how you were planning to interrogate me ?

Here me now... And believe me later....

*Maniac laughter followed by his face and body dissolving into dust*

>he points at one of the party members

"you"

"I'll be seeing you laterrrrrrrrrr..."

Hahaha! Now you'll never know who the traitor is.

>Heh. J... joke's on you. I'm only worth... 5 xp

>I bind you, heroes.
>By your blood, I bind you.
>By your bone, I bind you.
>By your souls, I bind you, demons.
>You will join me in the Abyss, and when the binding is ended we shall ride out together as brothers.

>>48578538
*Takes out alchamist's fire and tosses it into the air*

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>>48578059
"Go on and sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a..."

>>48578538
>Augh. Arrows, arrows in my chest, oww...
>By the way, I'm immortal.
>Ooh, ow, geeze, all these arrows, oh.

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"W-wait! If your desire is to truly save the kingdom and to restore peace to our lands you'll need this..." Reaches into his pocket with a weak and shaking hand pulling out his closed fist extending it to your heroes before flipping them off.

>>48578059
>"By the way, she wasn't really your mother."
>"You know that farm girl? She really WAS into you. You're just dense."
>"You're all going to hate each other in 20 years."
>"My only regret is that I don't remember where my car keys are."
>"Even when you're dead and with the angels, you'll be asking yourself if there was a better way. I can see it in your eyes - you'll never sleep well again."

>>48578899
This would be amazing in a more grounded game, instead of an outright evil wizard or something.

I'm running one where there's kind of an underground civil war going on, where the party can pick a faction to help.

It would be amazing to have the leader of one actually be really weak, and drop this line.

>>48578059

I scoop.

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'TIS MERELY A SETBACK.

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>"D-damnit... I never thought I'd, *HACK* actually have use.... for that phy...lact...ery."

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I-I was only a d-distraction...

>>48580900
More like:
"They are all my pieces, They always were. I just no longer want to play."

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>>48578059
I'm... actually... a doombot

"I'm a good boy. I didn't do... nothin'... wrong..."

>the gnolls and goblins in the castle start marching around screaming BOSS LIVES MATTER
>the party is put on trial for hate crimes
>the monster races demand immediately "demilitarization" of all adventurers, and reparation gold for the repeated murder and looting of their people

>>48582360

That's real Emrakul of you.

"I can see it now... I think it's sitting in a room with others beings similar to itself..."
coughing, BBEG has a weak smile
"[PlayerName]..."
weak laugh, more coughing, BBEG's apparent death.

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I know something you don't know.

>>48578059
bro... it was just a prank bro

>>48578059
My only regret is... that i have... boneitis.

Guess you'll have to prepare for the demonic invasion. Good luck with that assholes.

or

I'm not thinking of it as dying. Just setting off early to beat the rush.

CURSE YOU, SAGES!
CURSE YOU, ZELDA!
CURSE YOU, Link!

>>48578059
>"20, 19, 18, 17..."

>>48578059
I'm going back to the real world. Enjoy your dream.

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VSSE. YOU FOOLS!

>>48580572
oh man, when the party kills the BBEG's rogue lieutenant he's totally going to do this

>>48582693
>Finally...

>Oh.

>See you soon.

>>48578059
"Great. Now I have a new fetish."
>slides a bloody hand down his pants

>>48578059
>"Exit stage left. See you in my next body."
>"Laputan machine. Good job killing the only man who knows how to deactivate your killswitch."
>"Better dead than what will happen to everyone in the 100 km radius in 15 minutes."
>"Just as planned. You even killed me right on time. Good work, guys."

Luke, I am your father!

"My books... go to my son..."

Please... delete my browser history...

>>48578810
Winner, right here.

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Nruter yam I that rewop tneicna eht ekovni I!nrub ot emoc sah emit ym, LTOLOXA!

"Now that I'm defeated, you can go into my treasure room. But beware, if you open any chest incorrectly, it's set to cast a resurrection spell on me."

>"Perfect."
Not in a snarky, or pained way.

But in a way that heavily implies that the heroes did exactly as they were supposed to.

Or what the other guys said about being a dick.
>Good thing you had the Paladin carrying you throughout that fight, it's a wonder how you made it out the door of the tavern
>You know I didn't need a million buffs, magic items or four other people with me to nearly kill you all, right?
>Magicwhore
>A wizard AND a Cleric? Wooooowwwww.

>>48582704
I like this one.
But make it so the players have to roll to hear him say it. Not a high roll, just: "You think you hear him burbling something through the blood filling his mouth...roll perception... 20, 19, 18...

>>48578059
"Man, this body totally didn't suit me. Good thing that I can transfer my soul into whoever kills me."

Wake up.
Have him fade too.

Maybe even his lair, everything fades to boring, blank, rolling green hills.

>>48578059

>Ha-ha! Don't you know?! If you kill your enemies... THEY WIN!

>>48578059
>Thanks, this'll make my next move so much easier.

>Now you take responsibility when it comes.

>Sometimes my arms bend backward.

>>48578059
>The time has come,
and so have I

>>48583424
Canada plz go. plz stay go.

What the fuck happened Canada? You used to be badass not so long ago.

>>48578059
"Summon...Rust Monster...Horde..."

>>48578899
>Do you feel like a hero yet? Was it- was it even worth it in the end?

This - and many like it - have always been completely ineffective on me.

Yes, dumbass, I feel like the hero.

I didn't pick you because you're a wizard - I've hired plenty myself over the years.

And I didn't pick you because you kill people - I've killed loads of people getting here.

I picked you because you you're evil - you harm people for no good reason. And with your death, the world becomes a safer place. Fewer travellers will be abducted, fewer farms burned down. Even if you had zero treasure and I got neither experience nor reputation from killing you, it would still be worth it.

The world is now a better place, solely because you are no longer in it to do the Evil Wizard equivalent of shitposting. Get fucked. Ask the peasant girls who you can no longer abduct whether it was "worth it." The treasure and XP and reputation increases are merely frosting on the cake that is your death.

SO MANY GAMES try to pull this one and it always leaves me cold. Like "Are you even better than me..." YES, OBVIOUSLY.

>>48578977
AMAZING

>>48583615
>SO MANY GAMES try to pull this one and it always leaves me cold. Like "Are you even better than me..." YES, OBVIOUSLY.

EDIT - I would add: In some games, I am NOT "clearly better than the villain" but in those games it ALSO leaves me cold because that's not my fault, I didn't write this storyline, I picked the Good option every time I got a choice, not my fault there were no choices in this rail-road half-story.

And in some games, I am NOT clearly better than the villain but then again, I wasn't TRYING to be better than the villain so how exactly is this supposed to tug at my heart strings?

I played a right cunt in my Fallout 4 game, I did anything and everything to find my son. If the institute didn't want to burn, maybe they shouldn't have kidnapped my son - and a lot of other people. And there were all kinds of "weh weh why are you ruining the best chance of civilization" dialogues and I'm just... Nigger "best chance of civilization" kind of requires the civilization you're building to be good. Am I proud? No. But clearly the fact that I'm doing this should send to you the signal that I believe it is the best choice or I'd be doing something else.

>>48582387
>orcs and goblins now need equal representation in all future parties.
>party gets back to town to see the mayor standing next to a big orc in robes, oh hey guys here's Mok'Quan, he's your new wizard

Dying on the floor:
>I bequeath my estate...
>To the King

There we go, looting my corpse is treason :^)

>>48583834
>There we go, looting my corpse is treason :^)

FUUUUCK
You

1) Why report his last words to the king?

2) EVEN IF WE DO Probably there will be some kind of finder's fee for having acquired an estate for the king.

THAT BEING SAID THOUGH, I remember how infuriating it was in Mount and Blade to gather an army, pay for that army, campaign with that army until they are a hard-fighting hard-feuding crew of wreckers, then lose ~25% of them taking a city and your king is like "lol give it to a different noble." Yo FUCK the king.

>"Wow...you really DO shit yourself..."

Rosebud was his sled...

>>48578059
>Fuckin bullshit OP Clerics...

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>>48578059
"... Just as planned..."

>>48583938
That's when you go find a claimant or revolt.

>"Thank you..."
>"I can't believe it... Betrayed like this..."
>"Please... Don't let them take my soul..."
>He begins chanting something over and over, in a language none of you have never heard before.
>He struggles to point his finger at one of you, then begins laughing maniacally.
>He tears open a cut on his abdomen and begins feasting hungrily on his own entrails.
>As his lifeless body slumps to the floor, you hear a distant metallic clink.
none of these necessarily related

>>48584118
"All according to... keikaku..."


"If you don't know, keikaku means "plan""

>"Death is only the beginning."
>"Foolish adventures...you may have killed me! A simple man! But...with my death you gave birth to a god!" [Phase two activated]

>>48578059
"It's... Oh, God, you've got to stop him. You're the only ones now. He's..."

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>>48578538
what that is literally this guy, not like it's a new idea or something,why do you guys sound so excited..

>>48584358
>stop having fun guys..
the black knight wasn't exactly 'snarky', nor much of an asshole about it.

>>48580441
Replace the last bit with
>I drag you to the abyss with me! Fate brought us together as foes, but this battle has made us brothers!
The party were the fated world destroyers all along

>>48578059
>ur a fagot

>>48578059
I cast Wish.

>>48583615
It only really works if you killed a lot of innocent people/allies to get to his lair only to find out that he had died before you even arrived and you had killed all those people for nothing.
Basically Spec Ops.

>>48583237

That's retarded. If this was true he wouldn't say anything at all.

>>48578059
You needed a worthy foe

>>48584472
>It only really works if you killed a lot of innocent people/allies to get to his lair only to find out that he had died before you even arrived and you had killed all those people for nothing.
>Basically Spec Ops.

Yeah but it didn't work on me in Spec Ops either because check this: Spec Ops is max rail-road.

If I'd use WP on the civilians because I made a mistake, sure, maybe I'd feel bad about that. But when it's a mission objective you cannot avoid, I'm 100% in YOLO-style.

It reminds me of Call of Duty: Ghosts. Not because CoDG was good but because it was bad.

I've completed all the CoD games up until Ghosts. CoD has featured torture before but Ghosts was the first CoD game where I, the protagonist, was expected to participate. ALT-F4 and I haven't booted it up since.

The next game I played after that (Literally the next, I closed one and opened the other) was GTA5. GTA5 also has a torture scene, and you're also expected to participate - against a guy who is obviously innocent but I completed the scene in GTA5 and I'm still playing it. I do not know but I THINK the reason is that you're playing several characters in GTA5 and the torture is done by the batshit psycho character - Trevor is clearly the bad guy and I'm not expected to feel like he's the protagonist so it's not nearly as jarring as in Ghosts, where I'm only playing that one guy and he's "me" so to speak.

>>48584784
>when it's a mission objective you cannot avoid
This tells me you didn't try to avoid it.

>>48584784
>Ghosts... ALT-F4 and I haven't booted it up since.
>GTA5

It was PROBABLY also a factor that GTA5 has an interesting story and acceptable game play while Ghosts has a bad story and terrible game play. SpecOps kind of got away with it because it was (a) new and (b) not terrible.

>>48584799
>This tells me you didn't try to avoid it.

The WP scenario cannot be avoided.

My experience was: I didn't see that they were civilians but I *did* notice they didn't have weapons (I think I remember believing they were civilan staff and/or PoW's). I tried quitting out of the mortar aim but the game wouldn't proceed until I'd killed a heavy vehicle (Don't remember what type - tank? APC?). Then I deliberately shot the grenade as far from the non-combatants as possible. The game proceeded as if I had covered the entire area in an extra-thick layer of grenades.

Then I tried again and also couldn't find a different way.

Then I checked online and nobody else had found a different way.

If there is a different way now, they patched it in later.

>>48578059
Hear my howl...time to leave them all behind...for I am my own master now.

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>>48578306

>>48578059
"I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the rock, and I'll be back like Independence Day with Jesus June 6. Like the movie, big mother ship and all."

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My work is done

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>>48584420

>Fuck... I think I left the stove on.
>combusts and takes his loot with him

>>48578059
"You have only made me... stronger...."
*becomes a lich*

>>48584784
In GTA V you can also get away with waterboarding the innocent guy twice and shooting the red-shirted bearded guy smoking on the couch and the game will count that as a win, you probably did no permanent damage to the guy besides the obvious emotional trauma, forced torture minimized. At no point does the game force you to hook the dude up to a car battery, hit his balls with a giant wrench, or tear his teeth out with pliers. Unless you're going for 100% gold medals, in which case you either are or shortly will be insane, so meh.

>>48585020
"You have only made me... harder..."
>Your party notices a visible erection.

>>48585036
"You have only made me
..faster..."
>*Green Hill intensifies*

>"Ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahahaha...oh, not you guys... man, I just remembered the funniest joke...oh man...'It never did any of that when I tried it!' Hahahahahahahahahaha....."

> "I was phone"

>>48585091
>...stronger

>Twenty...minutes.

>>48578059

"I will kill again."

The illusion drops, revealing that the BBEG that they just killed was the hostage they were coming to rescue the whole time.

>>48578731
Respeck

Forgive them, Father. They know not what they do.

"I curse you to know nothing but torment for the rest of your days!"

>The real curse is to have a shitty tattoo

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"It's armed."

>>48585332
>the party suddenly all have extremely tacky tramp stamps

>Let's see...3 hours and 23 minutes? Not bad...but we can do better. Alright places everyone! Back to the top!

>>48583615
Are you Archer?

>"Death is but a door, time is but a window. I'll be back!"

>>48578059
*adventures go through door and get silent hill dog ending*

>>48578059
My body... may die... But my soul... My soul is immortal. 'Snickers' And I will return... time and time again... Until... You... Die...

>>48578059
Some variation of "Oh gods my <ancient artifact of unbelievable power the party broke in here to take back from him." is gone!"

>>48583938
I just did this, but also dumped my entire army into the castle... raised more and held the place for a couple weeks with no assistance against 1000+ man armies... and then the king decided my one shitty fife was to more then enough. So began the empire of "Fuck you Cocksuckers this is my rock."

>>48583615

It's directed at you, as a player.

>time for plan B, then.

>>48584419

Little too halo for me, but not bad.

And I wouldn't use that last bit. I'd want them to be actual heroes, for the moment. Now making them the next generation of character's villains in that setting is something I would do.

>Enough...please! Surely this is enough?! Surely I have paid for what I've done?! Don't make..me....go through all of this....again...

>>48585621
And that changes nothing.

"Ha...well, you killed me...I'll be dying soon. I suppose it's a good thing that you shut down the doomsday device then. I was hoping that I would be the one to lose this battle in the e-wait...what do you mean "what doomsday device?" YOU DIDN"T FIND IT?! HACK COUGH WEEZE dead."

"You fools! What... What have you done!? For this blind... petty vindication...?! All... is lost! There was no one else who... nothing left to..."

>>48585469
>space is like a house
>pain is like a picnic
>a reward is like apples!

>Villain just snaps his fingers
>"Lethal Weapon 4! That was it!"
>Dies

I just like the idea of him trying to remember something and that was his only thought just before death. It would probably confuse the fuck out of the party too.

>>48585172
>...Gaben

>>48586015
>"Ch-check underneath the couch."
>Party finds a set of car keys.
>"Been looking for those bastards for damn near a week."
>Dies

>>48578059
"I made your browser history public."

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>>48586092
"Dumbass! I use incognito mode whenever I go looking for porn! You have revealed nothing!"

Nagisa dies.

>>48578059
>Please take care of my little girl. She had no part in this... I did it all... for her.
there may be a little girl they have to deal with or maybe they'll just waste a lot of time trying to locate and rescue someone who doesn't exist.

>>48585033
You know the first time I did that mission I used every item because game play logic told me you needed to or they wouldn't be options. On subsequent runs I've only used the water.

>>48578059
"It seems the man who cured the globe cannot stop his own extinction! But I can go out with a bang!"
>the room explodes together with BBEG and the party

>"The second key is with Elise of the North."
>There is no Elise of the North
>There is no second key
>There is no first key

>>48586262
Nigga, it's just for messing with the PCs heads, not killing them. He's lost, undeniably.

This is just last minute petty spite.

>>48586315
If you have time to mess with their heads, then you have time to do something more productive instead. Like calling for your personal killsquad complete with the ERT full of clerics.
Always invest in Doc Wagon services.

>>48578059
"Duck." There's nothing there.

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"You know your son died like a little bitch. You should've raised him like a real man"

>>48578059

If you kill me, I win t. Trudeau

>>48578306
Is this this DOTA?

>>48586552
No, it's any sort of team based game.

>>48585648
Sorry, but the Gravemind was my favorite character in the series. Even if we rarely see him, the way he talked really stuck with me. Poetic in a sense. Helps that he was literally the smartest being in the galaxy.

>>48586408
>Always invest in Doc Wagon services.
Even when there is no Doc Wagon. Oh, new campaign idea: PCs are entrepreneurs whose way to (even more) riches is to set up a Doc Wagon service in [Generic Fantasy Setting]

>>48586587

I don't blame you, he was my favorite part of that series as well.

"aw fuck yeah, you dirty bitch! That's the stuff."

He violently orgasms, goes into cardiac arrest, bursts into flames and his ashes blow away into the sunset.

>>48578346
>>>/reddit/

>>48578059
You're pretty good...

>>48583992
Fucking Cartman.

No words, just grabs the nearest party member and makes out with them.

>>48578718
devilish

>>48578059
>Villain dies, then gets up 30 seconds later
"Alright, see you next century, and <Most rightous party member's name> don't forget to write Aunt Vera, you know how she worries."
>Villain flaps arms and flys away into the sunset

>>48586845
Shit
>*flies

>>48586845
Ca-CAW

>>48584539
What if thats what he wants you to think?

>>48585245
Fuck off Aizen

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>>48587283
No.

>"Please... find my daughter. She's the... only one who can prevent..."

This either sends the party on a race against time or on a wild goose chase trying tot rack down someone who doesn't exist

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>BBEG fumbles around his pocket and pulls out a single cigar.
"Heh, heroes, got a light for a dying man?"
>The party lights it and places it in his mouth
>He slumps against the wall
"Thanks."
>He wraps his quivering fingers around the cigar as he takes a large inhale.
"I made a promise you know, to never give her up, my consort. To never let her down, to never leave her side. But in the end *cough*, I just made her cry. She ran away after all this, I lied, tried to get her to come back, but I've done nothing but hurt her.
>He clutches his chest
"Please, if you have any heart, find her...make her...understand..."

>"Y-You see those two doors...? If... I were you... I wouldn't open... the one... on...the-"

>"Thank god I made my Phylactery... an... oversized...a-"

>"Hey... Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? DM giggles into his hand while writing something down "

>>48587821
And then it turns out the cigar contained healing fumes

"Arrghh, damn! You never get used to that." *chuckles to himself* "Well, I needed a vacation anyways. Walk the dog for me while I'm out, he pisses everywhere if he doesn't get his walk. His name is Rodger." *Dies, his body fades away*

>>48587928
And a bit of unstable mutagen.
>You can see through walls!
>You feel healthier!
>You feel stronger!

>Having defeated the BBEG and whatever, party turns to leave, to fight other evils, etc
>from behind them, a whisper issues:
'Never turn your back on the corpse'

>>48578059

>Forgive them Father, they know not what they've done...

>>48585950
Check this nufggt

>>48584231
>That's when you go find a claimant or revolt.

>>48585586
>I just did this, but also dumped my entire army into the castle... raised more and held the place for a couple weeks with no assistance against 1000+ man armies... and then the king decided my one shitty fife was to more then enough. So began the empire of "Fuck you Cocksuckers this is my rock."

Yuuuup.

Which is why "I bequeath my estate to the King" is such a great set of last words.

>>48583717
Buttmad railroad faggot detected, cry about muh morality more

>>48578731

>liteally a single gold piece sitting in a cave

>>48578059

Well i'm ripping wholesale from a book but

"You don't know what I do for mankind.By killing me, you have doomed yourselves... "

>>48587821

This makes me laugh because i'm currently playing the BBEG in a campaign a friend is running, who's whole purpose for plotting to overthrow the king is to get the girl. Of course if she ever found out about it....well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

>>48586719
>shitting on our lord and saviour
>implying a meme is restrictive to 1 site

>>48582935
>See you in my next body.

DAAAAAMMMMNNNN

>>48582925

I LOLed hard at this one

>>48584233
>He tears open a cut on his abdomen and begins feasting hungrily on his own entrails.

Dude.

>>48584893
>I am my own master now

That by itself is really good.

>>48585320

Not bad.

>>48585698

Yikes. Good one.

>>48578059
"No! I don't want to die a virgin"

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>>48589219

>>48586433
>"Duck." There's nothing there.

I like this one. He says "duck," and most likely the party does duck. They look around, get back up, he chuckles at them for being such suckers, then expires. Nice.

>>48586699

Jesus!

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>>48578059
>pic related

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>>48589186
Get off the Internet Bladewolf, you're drunk.

>>48578059
"You want the counter spell? Guess what, the only copy is stored inside of my body. Inside of a bottle stored inside my ass, to be precise."
>he dies
>someone has to go wrist deep up his ass for the bottle
>all the note says is "you just fisted a dead man for nothing"

>>48589344

Holy shit that's hilarious

>"The princess is in another castle."
>This leads into a wild goose chase of finding new BBEGs that handed the princess off to another BBEG before the party gets there.

>"W... wh..."
>"Watch me swooce right in!"
>he turns sideways and vanishes

>>48589344
>take out dagger
>start dissecting wizard
>find nonsensical note
>never going to find a use for this medicine skill

>>48589074
True, it's also big on twitter.

>>48578059
People like you think that killing people like me will save the world. You're just killing them slowly, all the people you think you love. With each passing day, they'll tear themselves apart and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Eventually, one of them is going to become like me. They'll get sick of what people like you have to say about what's right and what's wrong and realize that if nothing changes, we will kill the world.

Imagine what life will be like then. No more wilds, no more treasures, no space. Just people, pawns of a game you have no stake in, growing ever larger by the day. They will take all they can and demand more, and you will have nothing to give. Eventually, they will blame you for their suffering and you will have no option but to accept it.

You've already lost.

>>48578059
The entirety of 100 bottles of beer on the wall.

Even if the party start using force to stop him.

I will bath in the blood of... Wait that's my blood. Aw Shiet.

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>>48587821
I see what you did there.

>"...The Aristocrats."

You were my brother Anakin. I loved you.

>>48590280
Only works as an answer

>>48583436
Where you come from, do the birds sing a pretty song?

>>48588602

>He reacts to games he dislikes by not playing them and only bringing them up when they're relevant to the discussion

>he must be super mad

A++ analysis, you'll get a real job for sure one of these days :^)

>>48578059
The Wheeler Warriors theme song. All of it. He or she just stands up and starts singing. Your players will literally loose all grasp of what's going on, without fail.

https://youtu.be/MqL_SO2thsE

>>48578856
wow, that's pretty good. almost meta

>>48590406
Okay. Yeah.
I admit it; of the GM started just having the villain singing whatever weird ass 80's action ballad toy show theme song that was, I would be totally lost.

>>48588983
Mistborn, right?

>>48578059
He slips a slim letter out of his pocket.
"I am not long for this world. Please, grant a dying man's request, and take this to my daughter. She's all I have left, and soon she'll be all alone."
Before the players can say anything else, he closes his eyes and dies.

The letter reads:
Dear Ciara,
If you are reading this letter, it means I am dead. I have done some despicable, vile acts over the years, and I realize now that it is only a matter of time before the people I've hurt take their vengeance. You may be shocked, horrified even, by what I have done, but know it was only for you. I leave my estate and everything I own to you. Be better than I was, Ciara.
Signed
Explosive Runes.

>>48590613

yep.

>fuck you I wasn't wrong, I was just too weak

>>48586845
"I'll be back Paladin, you'll see!"

https://youtu.be/t7N67hn0TlA?t=57s

>>48591316
10/10 series and plot. Even the ending felt right and almost karmic.

>>48584846
You are allowed to turn the game off any time.

"I know something you don't know, and if I don't share then He won't grow

He will set the world on fire"

>>48590454
Yeah, it would only be apt at the end of a lengthy campaign when everyone knew (even if they didn't acknowledge) that the exact playgroup would probably never come together again.

>>48591042
I love this

>>48578731
hehehehe

>>48585245
Wait, even better!

It really is the BBEG, and he uses his last breath to activate a magic amulet that creates a temporary illusion of the hostage. So while, in reality, the villain HAS been killed and his corpse is hidden within an illusion, it looks like an illusion was broken to reveal the hostage.

"Psssh... It was nothin' personnel... Kids..."

>>48588844
>The single coin is booby-trapped

>>48593527
made me laugh, have a signed (you)

>>48578059
"Don't you know you fools? If you kill your enemies, they win!"

>>48578059
>cuck

"Good and evil isn't real you bastards. I stood where you stand now, alongside my comrades thirty years ago and above the corpse of the last 'evil tyrant'. I was a paladin back then, and I behaved just like you..." *coughs violently* "Pssh, what are you going to do? Kill me? They already have, you bastard... You; you aren't detecting good or evil with those powers of yours, just who /he/ wants you to kill. And you played right into /his/ hands. Now it will all repeat..."

>>48594083
This literally happened in one of my games.

I've got the metagame on my side. Your move.

Have any of you ever had an npc fake his death? Like just fall down with HP to spare and play dead until the PC's leave?

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>>48578059

>>48591042
Ooh, you just gave me an idea. Same thing, but the letter reads:

>Dear party fighter: By the time you read this, I'll be dead. This is how I think it's gonna happen: The mage will fireball me, then I'll fireball the mage, then the thief will come in and get fireballed by the mage. Then, you'll come in and get fireballed by the thief, the mage, and I multiple times. Love: your brother, Keith."

>>48594930

https://youtu.be/vmd1qMN5Yo0?t=17s

Needs the music to go with it.

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>>48586129

you FUCK

>Grabs one of the party by the lapels
You... You will make a great father, and when I am born again, I will be an even better... son.

>points to a party member
"I'll be seeing you real soon sweetheart"

>>48595045
No sushi cat. I'm not going to eat you, stop looking at me like that.

D would probably kill me inside.

>>48578059

>>"Well, that's it, I suppose. Hey, before I die...do you have the time?"
>>"It's [whenever]."
>>"Good, good. You have five minutes. *dies*

>>48587821
>...understand,
>Understand, understand,
>Understand, understand the concept of love!
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V4IEV8l-gA
I had to.

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>>48595677
>Missing the rickroll

>>48578059
"I'm so proud of you!"

>>48595783
>missing
I guess that's what I get for trying to subvert expectations online.

>The night. The hunt. They were long.

I pissed in your drinking water.

I watered in your pissing water.

>... Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice...!

>>48596912
>Beetlejuice, Hastor, Bloody mary!
>Deal with that!

>>48596912
>...Candleja

>>48593527
>the trap is rigged with other traps that activate if the party tries to disarm it

>>48578346
I kekeked more than I should

>>48589344
Kek

"I counsel thee, heed my speech and ride thou homeward hence. The sounding gold, the glow-red wealth, and the rings thy bane shall be."

>>48578059

I knew I was right to choose you.

>>48594398
Did you kill an alt-righter or something?

>>48594985
What is this referencing with the music?

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>>48578899

>>48598139
Search "Dear Sister", I think it's originally from SNL.

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>>48578748
W.A.S.P. s

Would you have ruled better?

>>48578059
"I was going to die of radiation poisoning in a few days anyways. See you soon."

>>48578059
>A man chooses!
>A slave obeys!

>Bury me with my money...

>The wind... it is... blowing....

>Severus... please...

>Tell your sister... you were right...

>I'm not even angry
>I'm being so sincere right now

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"You may have killed me, but what will you do about my skeleton?" The man cries in pain as his body appears to fall over in the form of a fleshy blob, now lacking the interior structure to support itself

>>48589244
>He says "duck," and most likely the party does duck. They look around, get back up, he chuckles at them for being such suckers, then turns into a duck.

>QUACK

Fixed that for you.

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OH, thought of one more:

>Computer, end program.

>"... You know, I'm perfectly fine with this. Good luck, have fun!"

Or, alternatively
>"Eh."

>>48578059
>Hastur, Hastur, Hastur.

>>48588071
DCSS?

>>48591603
Mistborn a shit.

>>48583717
Hear hear.

A lot of this is because nowadays DM's just can't into bad guys.

Giving the players a truly satisfying bad guy to beat is an art unto itself. Also playing a truly evil mofo who gets honestly angry and frustrated when pc's complicate his plans can be pretty fun.

When my bad guy dies he's probably just going to scream inarticulate rage as the demons drag his soul to hell. None of this 'just as planned' shit. Alpharius can go suck himself.

>>48594156
Now that's good

>>48598976
Tzeentch, you mean. The blue bird of chaos is the plan-freak. Alpharius specialises in spying and having a big amount of identical clones.

*points at random party member*
"Hey your shoe is untied"

They look down and see a rune on their shoe

"Good luck with that" *dies*

>>48584846
I think that's as far as I got in that game. I'd heard of there being a "WP incident", but not the details. Between them not firing at me and the game being really insistent that I do this war crime I was pretty certain it'd hold it against me later as if I chose to. I quit.

It's really the equivalent of a lol u fall moment. It's not clever. It's shitty, and making me want to stop playing with you is not an achievement.

>>48591042
I laughed hard.
Good on you anon.

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>>48578750
>RELEASING DIRECT CONTROL OF THIS FORM

>>48591042
I would watch the shit out of a D&D based sitcom revolving around explosive runes.

>>48589547
>Good thing Im in here and youre out there and your in here and I just remembered youre the sheriff!

>>48578059
Allahu Ackbar!

You... All of you, will die by bees... One day, beware the hive

>>48578059
"Even in death my dick is still bigger than your 4 incher."

>>48585332
> You are now the supreme fellator.

>"For my last wish... I wish... to revive somewhere else!"
*poof*

>>48583717
Game I'm running the players have a choice of factions, royalty trained to rule, democracy and oligarchy.

If I do it right, hopefully the players won't think there's an obvious good or bad choice.

It'd be the perfect line to drop if they ever take on a faction leader.

>>48584799
Most of the areas that reflect poorly you can find alternate solutions, but not the WP.

Can't go down the ladder or anything, can't proceed on in any way until you've fired it.

"Ah...This is exactly what I hoped my war would be like..."

>>48578059
>singing softly with his last breath.

Tiiiiiiiiime. Is on. My....side.

>>48578059

"Time is a picture in motion, throughout eternity. When you chose to face me, you made the picture stop... I just wanted my clocks to tick again..."

>>48583422
>Maybe even his lair, everything fades to boring, blank, rolling green hills.
A haunting ethereal tune plays https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nQ2oiVqKHw

>>48598976
>When my bad guy dies he's probably just going to scream inarticulate rage as the demons drag his soul to hell. None of this 'just as planned' shit. Alpharius can go suck himself.
https://youtu.be/7sotIsQ4-Gg?t=30s
Yep. Satisfying.

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>>48589157

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>>48589344

>>48605370
What the fuck.

>>48578059
My GM is annoyingly fond of "hah you're too late, I've already won"

>>48605598
the rest is pretty much in the same vein, pretty lulzy but guro really doesn't turn me on.

>>48578899
No. I don't.

But I made my choice a long time ago.

>>48586587
>Poetic in a sense.

You realize he actually spoke in iambic pentameter?
He literally spoke in poetry.

>>48605598
[Sendouya (Juan Gotoh)] Sotsugyou Zanshushiki | Graduation and Beheading Ceremony [English]

Google it.

>>48578059
>Even now, the evil seed of what you've done germinates within you.

>>48578917
First:
>devoted worshipper
Second:
>le cheeky cunt asshole

I prefer first desu. Seems more serious.

Have them say nothing, have them enter in a code on their watch to start a countdown clock, and have them start laughing.

>>48606843
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU JUST BLEW MY FUCKING MIND I NEED TO GO REPLAY THAT SHIT