Lost my virginity

>>48574785
>Meanwhile, Aldric has exchanged fire with the goblins, to no avail
>Leal has also taken an arrow and her hp is low,
>Raslin's still in the bushes, but after listening to me bleed and moan for a few minutes, charges the second goblin and scores a good hit, killing him
>First blood friendos, he makes sure we know he's keeping the head
>Aldric draws his greatsword,
>Swing and a miss,
>Leal (the only magic user, and my sister's character (least experienced player of the group)) jumps down from the waggon and moves to the rear
>Not quite out of reach though,
>She takes and arrow, begins bleading out
>Illseetyouinvallhalla.gif
>Aldric, rather angry - and, I'll admit, cheered on by some illegal OOC by myself, tries to pull the goblin out of the bush.
>Bad roll,
>Bad roll,
>Dm rolls,
>Fugg
>Sigh,
>Alright then,
>Everybody is on the floor.
>Raslin charges his other goblin, and kills him in a single blow, then proceeds to chop off it's head and bag it.
>Myself and Leal bleed, loosing our thows
>Aldric comes out on top, but there's still one more on his hill,
>Raslin proceeds to step over me and begins cutting off the other goblins head, while Aldric gets the better of the second goblin and kills him.
>I fail again and spit out a load of blood,
>Leal fails as well,
>Aldric runs to help her, and is manages to patch her up.
>Raslin fails his attempt to help me, but I just about make mine,
>The others arive and I'm stabilised.
>Cont typing from now on though

I love how you referred to your first time playing DnD as losing your virginity because DnD significantly reduces your chances of losing virginity IRL. Most girls don't want a fat fuck who spends his free time pretending to be an elf.

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I always wondered how I'd run it as a DM if the party just decided to steal the caravan of goods and head back to Neverwinter. Perhaps using the proceeds of pawning them to start up their own little criminal gang.

>>48574865
you don't get out much, do you?
dnd and other low barrier-of-entry nerd stuff is a cultural meme right now and bitches love it

>>48574865

My group mostly consists of women who either are , have or want to fuck me.

>>48574807
I forgot to mention, Aldric took the last goblin alive, it ran but he somehow managed to get an arrow through each of it's knees.
>Raslin rounds on the goblin
>"I'm going to take your head buddy, I bet I can find a witch who'd take it off my hands"
>Dm does an amazing impression of a Goblin shitting it's trousers
>Oh fuck, I make roll to persuade Raslin to spare him,
>He tells us about the goblin cave, gives us directions

>>48574865
I've already lost my actual virginity, and desu I was more impressed with DnD

>I'm conflicted, but soon realise that we can't just leave this goblin here, and we put it out of it's misery
>Head to the cave, there's two goblins on the other side of a river at the caves mouth,
>Raslin and Aldric go into the bushes, I stay with leal in the clearing to draw fire,
>Leal fires some magic into the bush
>Arrows come back.

>>48574927
might you be from Louisiana perhaps?

>Aldric and Raslin manage to kill the goblins with their bows,
>we approach the mouth of the cave,
>there's some wolves in there.
>we stand around arguing about the dangers of wolf-filled caves until one of them wakes up.
>Leal has been reading her character sheet,
>Hey, spells!
>she tries to cast sleep,
>Nat 1
>She knocks herself out
We later discovered that she should have been immune to this. but hey ho.
>I have initiative
>Charge in, slash slash, big rolls, wolf dead,
>this wakes the second wolf,
>Raslin charges, misses,
>Aldric fires, injuring it,
>Third wolf wakes,
>I finish off the second
>Everyone misses the third, who takes a bite out of Raslic,
>Aldric shouts that he wants to try and tame the wolf,
>Too late my friend, I'm riding big rolls,
>Last wolf's head goes flying, Raslin tries to catch it, but takes it in the face

end of session 1

>>48575168
Amen brother.

Slaying goblins enthuses me in ways slaying pussy never can.

>>48575355
I was pretty drunk the first time, but later I ended up in a relationship with a woman wherein I mistook frequent sex for healthy sex, then I got back from Uni and found out my father had been cheating on my mother for the last four years.
Right now I'm just feeling a little skeptical.

If your reading, should I continue with the cave or just skip to the town? I'm a little tired so it might get slow.

>>48575455
It's your story

>>48575168

>>she tries to cast sleep,
>>Nat 1
>>She knocks herself out
>We later discovered that she should have been immune to this. but hey ho.

I almost feel bad about telling you you don't even have to roll to hit with a sleep spell in the first place anyway.

>>48575536
good point

>>48575585
I haven't used magic yet, and this time there were no rolls to hit, so I assume the Dm caught this, thanks for the heads up

>There's a chimney in the wolf den.
>Raslin tries to climb up, fails
>I leave and go up the path,
>Leal follows,
>Aldric stays.

>as Raslin and Alrdic are making very slow progess up this chimney, Leal and I are spotted by a goblin sentry, he disapears and moments later a great rush of water floods down the path.
>we cling on.
>Raslin has made it to the top.
>there's a bugbear in there, and he spots him instantly, walks over and hits him.
>Here we find out that Raslin only had 3 hp left (we forgot to rest)
>he gets dragged out of the hole and tied up in the corner - the Dm allows him to regain consiousness next turn, because we've just started etc.
>I get flooded down the path
>Leal finds a bunch of goblins

sorry, I cba to continue at this pace.
Basically we clear the dungeon through lean sleeping everyone and cutting their throats, The Dm later says somthing about spell slots - as I said before I haven't read much about magic, but he seemed to catch the problem after three turns of stabbing comatose enemies.

I try and convince the remaining goblins to stop pillaging the villages.
fail

We find some NPC, head off to town.

>>48575774
Oh yeah, Aldric also managed to tame one of the wolves, he's calling it dogmeat

Is this just your group's first time playing D&D, or playing a tabletop RPG in general?

Because if it's the second, then this all sounds about right for a group's first foray into tabletop funtime.

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>>48575168
>I've already lost my actual virginity, and desu I was more impressed with DnD


Good on you anon

>>48574785
Oh man 5e is so basic and bad man. You literally lose so much character control in the skills department that i cant play it anymore. Recently we use everything from 5e but the skills, we substitute the skills from 3.5 in, aswell as the feats. So much better

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>>48580203
>we use 5e but the skills and feats from 3.5
>mfw
>>48575795
you seem to be going OK. Some rules you haven't learned yet but that will come with time. Generally Wizards at low levels don't get many spells.
A few things you should know, critical fails are not in the rules as written, nor is the act of rolling social skills against fellow party members. I don't think they're necessarily bad, sometimes I encourage party members to roll against each other for persuasion and intimidation if there is no real result to the outcome or they're having trouble coming to a conclusion in or out of character.or like during a roleplayed argument/intimidation it was roll to see how hard your character shit his pants

Is your GM using a module or are they running loose from the get-go

>>48580203
but doesn't that completely fuck 5e's math