/tg/ Confessions Thread

I'm ERPing with the DMs wife

More than half the game books I've bought over my entire gaming career have never been used.

>>48506165
I buy booster packs for the sheer thrill. I know I'll never break even, but I do it anyways.

I have cheated every character I have ever created except for that one time where I really did roll 3 18s

Huh, I base a lot of my stuff off of songs I like too.

Hell, my entire suite of endgame enemies for a game I'm GMing are based off of an album that I really liked as I wrote the campaign.

>>48506204
Same here, I'm too lazy to GM and my friends who are into GMing don't want to run anything new. I just buy them for the lore.

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I was the Chicken Little poster during the End Times/AoS leaks.

I took a break from /tg/ for a while and apparently some russian started chicken little posting in the 40k threads afterwards?

I don't enjoy the games with my group, but I like the people and we have little else in common any more.

>>48506165
I purposefully made a character who follows the stereotypical "horrible bandit" trope because I knew my GM would hate him in every way, no matter how period-accurate he was.
Racist as fuck.
Sexist as hell.
Believes raping the women of those he defeats is nothing less than a reward for his hard work.

And not a single "redeeming" quality to be found. He doesn't have a soft spot for kids, he doesn't love animals, he doesn't resent his family or feel like he's been abused by the world; nothing in the world that would make someone say "well at least he isn't all bad" or "his life caused him to be this way". He's just a douche.

In the early days of quests I ran two false flag quests to demonstrate how bad quests would be for the board. They both were severely outdone in shittiness by future quests.

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I have no idea what I'm doing, system-wise.

I just said we're doing EDF in Star Wars d6 and did NOTHING to ensure this will work.

But I am still determined to pull a straight face and tell everyone that I did put some work into It and I'tll all work out swimmingly in a session or two.
It won't

I was the guy who posted the Dio troll of Strahd. I did it to get pirate fags to shut the fuck up in 5e threads and delay someone else from ACTUALLY scanning it.

>>48506165
I walked right into my DM's magical realm last night and got raped by a CE dragoness. It was cash tho

I have played a strip version of a deckbuilding game.

The details surrounding it are so outlandish that I doubt anyone would believe me anyways.

>>48506331
I knew a guy once who did what you describe and pulled it off. Granted, this guy was a god at improv.

>>48506375
Let me guess you got drunk with bunch of neckbeards and then bromosexual stripping game seemed like good idea?

While everyone is distracted, I masturbate under the table by slipping my cock through my jeans and keeping it hidden under my shirt.

>>48506404
It ended in a literal circle jerk....

>>48506375
Details please. we will believe it. Or I, at least.

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>>48506363

I secretly want to seek out some of the autistic, societal rejects who generally don't work out with others in games or anything really as players for a game. Then I want to rehab them somehow through the game and make them realize what the fuck they need to do to better themselves. And importantly, come out happier and fulfilled.

>>48506432
Autism is a form of mental retardation. Why not just go into the mental health profession?

>>48506418

Does this ever really happen? Just curious...

>>48506165
I enjoy 3.5

>>48506375
STORYTIME

I'm so goddamn lazy as a GM. The only thing I can be bothered to any time or effort into is worldbuilding, where I'm utterly obsessive. Nearly everything else is halfassedly done an hour or less before the session. I worry that one of these days my lack of forethought is going to write me into a corner I can't get out of

I also genuinely enjoy running ERP games

>>48506328
Every movie that tried to be "so bad it's good" falls flat by not actually being bad enough. Bumbling incompetence can accomplish things deliberate sabotage can only dream of

>>48506471
It has happened to me and I've heard stories from others. You know geeks have sexual urges too, but not a lot of them have much outlets for those.

>>48506460

Psychology is harder to get jobs in, and it's not a major thing for me. More of a passing thought.

I've written erotic fanfiction for multiple campaigns.

I help build everyone's character's since I know the system the best yet I intentionally ignore stat limitations to be the most physically powerful character at the table. But since I have self-control I never just showboat over the party and take a more backseat role in decision making and investigation.

I can't enjoy "serious settings". Unless it lets me play as a ninja-necromancer superspy or smear my naked body with the blood of my enemies before I change into brutal melee it's fucking boring as hell.

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List of the things I do:

>Purposefully misinterpret a rule and spread that misinterpretation within the game

>Bring up the rules for something only if it benefits me at the time

>Minmax my characters so that I never have to roll on certain things due to their passive scores being insanely high

>Argue with the DM until he sees shit my way or at least gives in to some of my bullshit

>Make pseudo-edgy characters with redeeming qualities and grey moralities

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EVERY single setting I prepare for the next game, is being prepared with a window that lets me create non-human waifu npcs. If I can't make non-humans there WILL be maids.

I can't help It. I don't think It's that blatant but It's entirely possible that my players are simply not that clever to notice there's a connection like that.

>>48506594
I hope you're trolling, but if not then you're really way too much that guy.

I thought about killing myself on the way to last night's session.

>>48506718
Don't do it.

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>>48506641
The best part is that I'm incredibly close friends with the majority of the group, so much so that if I leave, they'll almost certainly leave too, and kill the game.

As a control freak and a minmaxer, the exertion of this power gives a pretty good thrill and a decent high. The fact that I'm doing this in a casual environment meant to have fun is makes it even better - the lower the stakes, the greater the thrill.

You want to know the best part, though?
I'm not the worst one. There was a dude who got kicked out for being 10x worse of a that-guy than me. The group is still traumatized by his exploits and behavior, and in comparison I'm nothing - hell, I'm even a saint when put next to him.

>>48506320
But why?

>>48506726
You monster. Sounds fantastic.

>>48506501
The problem is that's what most of them need. I've tried doing this, albeit with one person at a time and not through RPGs. They're problem players because they don't understand, at a very basic level, how social interaction is supposed to work.
>>48506320
You know at this point I think daddy issues villains are the norm and people who do bad shit for the the reasons most people knowingly do bad shit IRL- greed, power lust, and sadism- are the subversion. I'm really fucking sick of people taking poorly written villains, tacking on some "noble" motive that doesn't make sense and doesn't actually make the conflict any more nuanced or complex, then pretending their fucking George RR Martin. Especially since ASOIAF has given us some of the more memorable bastards-who-know-they're-bastards bad guys in recent memory.

>>48506718
Ugh.
Don't try suicide.
>Nobody's worth it
>You're just gonna hate it
>Nobody gives a damn after all

>>48506432
It doesn't work like that. For the players to change, they must realize and accept that what they are doing is wrong and work towards doing something about it.
The kind of people you refer to are usually incapable of that kind of objective, non self-serving introspection, even moreso when they use a victim complex as self defense.
>been there, tried that, it doesn't work unless they could have already did it themselves

>>48506626
Or maybe it's only important in your own head, and no one else cares.

>>48506790
>You're just gonna hate it

Not if I fucking succeed. Also the other two points aren't steering me away.

I shitpost in 5e threads because I`m bitter about my systemfu having no players.

>>48506825
But when you're dead everything that you've said will lose its meaning and fade to grey
Are you ready for that? Wouldn't you rather counterattack instead of leaving your own song unsung?
Can you justify not breathing air into your lungs?

>>48506165
Sometimes, as a player, I cheat close rolls by "forgetting" penalties so I succeed. The GM trusts us somewhat so it usually flies by. If it doesn't, it's excusable as an honest mistake, and I keep it secret.

Once, I fapped to the backstory of a PC. Granted, it was pretty magical-realmy if you read between the lines, but still.

>>48506825
I know this sounds like shit advice and you've heard it 30 times before, but you should see a doctor. they won't magically fix everything, but they can help get the ball rolling.

>>48506825
Then honestly, dude, do it.
Don't halfass it, eat a gun, get it right the first time.
I tried the pill thing, would have worked had the cops not shown because they raided the wrong house.
If you survive, you gain perspective. If you don't, you get what you wanted.

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>>48506790
>You're just gonna hate it
What? You're gonna hate...being dead? I don't think you'll be feeling anything at that point, anon.

As I see it, it ultimately doesn't matter WHEN you check out, because it's going to happen at some point, to everyone. Yourself, and everyone you know, and everyone who knows them, etc etc forever until the eventual death of the universe, at which point all of humanity and everything else is completely fucked.

If everything is going to end up like that, there's pretty much no reason to care about anything except what you enjoy.

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>>48506491
Me too. The worst part is that every group I have loves how I GM and always has a glowing opinion of my games, so I have no incentive to change my ways. In fact, I'm three days behind on my current GM duties. I'll work on it tonight, I promise (I even made a sticky note to do it!).

Also, for my own contribution: I actively hate 90% of gamers. But I love going to game stores and playing there. So it's a horrible cycle of hatred and addiction.

>>48506911
>I don't think you'll be feeling anything at that point, anon.
Who the fuck knows? Who can prove that there is no afterlife 'n' shiet?

>>48506877
Been trying for about a week and I can't seem to find a doctor that is taking new patients and will also take my insurance. The only place open so far can pencil me in the second week of October.

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>>48506953
That's fucking garbage, but I'd at least try that October appointment before you make the big decision. Maybe in a few years you'll be glad you did.

>>48506929
Wishful thinking for people who find some issue with not existing after you die.

Personally, I would prefer not existing. You just enjoy your time, and then cease to be entirely, with nothing else to ever worry about, do, or think for all of eternity. You won't mind it, because there's nothing left of you to mind. Absolute bliss, to be honest.

>>48506914
>Me too. The worst part is that every group I have loves how I GM and always has a glowing opinion of my games, so I have no incentive to change my ways. In fact, I'm three days behind on my current GM duties. I'll work on it tonight, I promise (I even made a sticky note to do it!).
I openly admit to doing this and my players still can't tell the difference between what I planned out before hand and what I pulled out of my ass after the session already started.

When I bring food for my group, I put some meat in the food for the vegan guy.

>>48506726
Where do you live? I could imagine someone I know saying shit like this.

>>48507021
Vegans are retarded, so no issue there

>>48506911
Does anyone have the anti-suicide copypasta that is basically "life sucks and you want to die? go on an adventure instead"

>>48507028
There's no way I could tell you that, anon. You might be a member of my group.

>>48506914
Who the hell is Steiner?

>>48506860
What is your systemfu? It better not be rules-light.

>>48507003
Best GMs I have played with are actually those who pull things out of their ass rather than make detailed plans what's going to happen. Planning types tend to railroad and when their rails break usually the game breaks too as they relied too much on them.

Still, things like maps and stuff are nice, but I don't think one should plan actual story too much.

>>48507067
No, it's Fantasy Craft.
Nobody will ever play with me.

>>48507067
I get the distinct impression that the Dungeon World shitposter in the 5e threads doesn't actually play Dungeon World, given that its not particularly hard to find people online to play DW with.

>>48507021
You are a fucking hero.

>>48507039
I've seen that pasta, anon
It's fucking shit.
It assumes people have the disposable income required to fund 'adventures', or the health to endure such a thing.
If you're poor or disabled, or both, it'll just depress you further.

I keep lands in my pockets and usually put at least one or two a game into my hand.

Got into a religious argument with the Muslim guy in the group that left us with some bad feelings. So I baked some vegan cookies for the group next session. I secretly used bacon grease instead of olive oil in the recipe.

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>>48507056
Educate yourself: http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Lyran_Commonwealth

>>48506860
Hi there dungeon world.

I don't have people to play with and I'm socially anxious. I learn complex system rulebooks by heart, make dozens of character sheets focused on every mechanical aspects I can find and use them during single-player testing sessions. Then I spend my time on forums and boards just helping people with the RAW.

When I do play, I kind of assume everyone is as dedicated as me for some reason and am always disappointed deep down.

>>48506186
As the ancient /pol/acks say: "WTF M9 WAT A FUKIN KEK LMAO."

>>48507182
Like >>48507101 said, the Dungeon World angle that the PF/5E thread shitposter takes is way too in-your-face to actually be someone trying to sell DW at face value. I think it's someone who has an even more obscure system they like (probably some heartbreaker) trying to run the indie darling against the mainstream games that all get more attention that his system of choice.

>>48506287

Are you me?

>>48506165
I cheated my spells prepared when I was a teenager, and though I regret it now, at the time I felt justified because no-one gave me time to prepare spells each day.

I love playing a healbot cleric, I feel like it's my destiny. Thankfully my group has kept the bullying to a minimum though.

I played with my fwb for years and I did not like it. I would rather keep those parts of my life separate.

>When I GM, my games are often based on retro songs
A GM of mine did a shitty campaign he claims was based off the song American Pie. Apparently it's relatively common to do.

>>48506718
>I thought about killing myself on the way to last night's session.
R E R O L L

I always self-insert into my characters. That's not to say I'm trying to Mary Sue, but rather I try to be close to my character so that I can fluently play him at any given moment and never appear out of character. So I approach every character with the mindset of :'What would I do in that moment if I was this person?', and I build them close to myself.

Because of this, I always feel personally insulted when player actions purposefully abuse my character or act disrespectful toward them. I even carry grudges and tend to make plots to kill off other players' characters for slights in other campaigns against my previous characters.

>>48506415
But how you manage the hide the smell of your jizz after you masturbate?

>>48507228

Given the IRL Dungeon World fans I know, I actually would not be at all surprised if he was unironically shilling.

For a while I played monstrous characters trying to get the GM to be fantasy-racist towards me so they would say mean things to me.

>>48507069
I've found the trick is to be strategic with your prep work. Create a good framework of locations, societies and organizations for things to happen in and improvising the fine details is actually really easy. You don't have invent much from the ground up, you just have to ask "what would a tavern in this kingdom's capital look like?," or "What kind of person would this organization place in that position?" It's also good to create a "stable" of interesting and well written characters, locations, organizations, etc. that you don't have any specific plans for but can throw in whenever they're needed is a huge help too.

>>48507187
I've always wondered what's like to single play RPGs and does it really happen. I'd imagine it would be pretty boring since being both player and GM would mean you know everything that's gonna happen.

I also can't get enough playtime, but computer RPGs work well for me. It's just that I've played everything worth playing, so it's often about waiting my memories of games to get hazy enough for a new playthrough.

I've done this sort of freeform roleplay in my head in the same continuity since age 8 or so. I've statted out a lot of the main characters and creatures for use in Savage Worlds but the setting is far too autistic so I'll never use it in a real campaign.

That said most of the "creative" monsters my players like, are ripped off from that world.

>>48507360
>It's also good to create
>is a huge help too.
I'm an idiot

>>48507157
Hello my fellow /pol/ack.

>>48507101
That butthole came to the pathfinder general as well but I think he gave up because the thread is already shit.

>>48507374
I don't ever let go of most of my characters and I've been basically putting them through various stories together since forever.

>>48507291
I do this too, but I don't like it and I'm kind of ashamed by it. I just can't create anything other than some kind self-insert no matter how hard I try to. I really love to play games with premade characters because then I can actually roleplay instead of being myself.

I can't enjoy "original settings". You know, that "actually my dwarves are mermaids based on the Zulus" shit /tg/ loves? Or Glorantha? Make me bored out of my goddamn mind. Anything that isn't Tolkienesque Monster Manual Galore with dwarves and elves will be hard-pressed to make me interested and/or invested.

I do actually like solid worldbuilding, intrigue and stuff like that, but I find that well-executed tropes are the best, and will likely avoid a game that attempts to put them on their head or make everyone a lizardman or something.

>>48507461
People try to change shit to be "original" without understanding what made the original work in the first place, and themepark version of real societies aren't actually any more creative and probably even less interesting than generic shit, because we've all seen interesting takes on the standard fantasy races and can incorporate bits and pieces of them to create our own version. With fantasy Zulus you're starting from scratch without any real benefit.

>>48506165
I'm always tempted to play a character with some means of mind-controlling enemies. And allies. And NPC's.

The puppetmaster in me begs to act, but it feels wrong.

>>48507461
What about "original" settings that try and build their own half-assed shit from the ground up?

>>48507157

You do understand that the mudslime is excused of their sin if the pork is forced upon them, or they est it due to trickery. Right?

I just want to ERP /ss/ and incest fantasies in a court intrigue situation ;_;

>>48507570
That also bores me. Elves prancing around in forests and scottish jew Dwarves or bust. Sorry anon.

>>48506911
*tips*

I spent most of the last year thinking more about dming than work, and studying advice constantly to try and up my dming game as much as possible (to the point where it is messing with my sleep). I have spent hundreds of pounds on miniatures, I have a major backlog. So, I'm investing a lot. The issue? Time... Next year I'll be married, and the year after probably have a child. I am looking forward to it, but I am also in a secret race; to finally get a full , memorable, fanatastic, awesome quality rpg campaign done, and I DESPERATELY want it to be excellent.

I think most of us appreciate what it feels like when sessions don't go well; dissatisfied with the loss of time or perhaps someone's personality clashes with another's. DMs or players find there is a problem with their game, but it doesn't get solved because it's socially awkward or it's dull but 'good enough'. It was easier to accept mediocrity or frustrations than constructively make changes to make any of it great. If I could go back in time 15 years and start looking more closely at the way I game, the value I had for my hobby, enjoyment, time, the company I kept (and the company I was to other people) I would have all those memories already.

So my secret is that I care a lot more about this stuff that Iet on, and I'm taking it seriously so that when they're old enough, I can blow my children's minds with something they think is amazing.

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>>48507706

>>48507461
That is no sin, Anon, that is having patrician taste and holding your make believe to high standards.

Never change. Don't give in. Remain strong.

I'm forever DM and had to take a job out of town for 4 months. I put the group on hiatus. I didn't tell the 3 problem players we were starting back up. Never invited them back. Now it's me and my 3 good players.

>I come up with stats for monsters on the fly
>I don't track HP, just have a rough idea when monsters should die

>>48506165

When I GM, I love to put players through the emotional wringer. I feel a lot of PCs don't really deserve what they expect to get, so I often force them to work harder to get that extra stuff.

For instance, it doesn't really matter how charismatic you are. You won't get the girl unless you can convince me, the GM, that there's a reason for her to be interested in you. It's not meant to be an easy ride and a walk off into the sunset, people! You're not entitled to anything!

If the evil rival isn't beaten, YES she's going to express interest in him and YES he's going to get her. Don't whine about that shit, be better than him!

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>>48507722

>Time... Next year I'll be married, and the year after probably have a child.

Welp, there goes you ever DMing again. Have fun postponing game after game because you have to watch "the little guy" and wiping feces out of your shitspawn's ass-crack, while your group eventually loses patience and finds a new GM.

That's what happened in my group. Another guy tried his hand at GMing at he turned out to be even better. The other guy showed up to say hi the other week and it was like Syd Barrett showing up when they were recording Shine on you Crazy Diamond. Dude looked fucking dead inside, he was tired as hell, and when we met his wife she had gone from 6/10 qt to fat-as-fuck hambeast.

But I'm sure that won't happen to you!

:^)

>>48506165
I'm a fucking hack, and I am deathly afraid of recommending any of my favourite media to my players because if they actually do then go to read/watch/play it, they'll realise that 90% of EVERYTHING I write is a blatant export from somewhere.

>>48507791

> implying PCs give a fuck about getting imaginary girls when most of the players can't even get girls in real life

>>48507787

Why are you even playing an RPG then?

Also:

> playing systems that use hit points

kek. No wonder you got sick of them. I would get sick of games like D&D where you slog through 300 hp for an "epic battle" too.

>>48507787
That's just normal GMing, you know.

I like the Palladium System. I love Rules heavy games. Sweet god nothing gets me harder than logistic work in a game, assigning supplies, getting everything all worked out and set up. I never ever prep games till the last two or three hours.

>>48506213
>not using low scores to define your character

What are you? Some kind of faggot?

>>48507870
Indeed. Lies are the DM's sword and shield.

>>48506491

I am in pretty much the same boat as you, I love worldbuilding and do it constantly, but often procrastinate on everything else, never ran erp though

>>48507725
>pretending to be retarded

barely care enough to respond

>>48507870
Pretty much.

>>48507950
Lies are the sword with which we smite the power gamer.

Bullshit is the shield with which we protect the faithful from shit rolls.

Hatred is the Armor we forge to fend off the Neckbeard Melvins.

>>48506204
I don't see that as much of a confession. I rarely buy rpg books with the intent of actually playing them. It's simply to get inspiration for my own systems and campaigns. If I wanted to experience someone else's vision I'd play a videogame or watch a movie.

I hate when characters die, especially if it's in a generic random encounter or side quest. I have rules lawyered at least five characters back from the dead but never saved one of mine.

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>>48506911
>As I see it, it ultimately doesn't matter WHEN you check out, because it's going to happen at some point, to everyone. Yourself, and everyone you know, and everyone who knows them, etc etc forever until the eventual death of the universe, at which point all of humanity and everything else is completely fucked.
>mfw someone brings up some variation of this self-serving philosophy spat out by blind asshats

i'm so fucking tired of this shit
who gives a flying fuck about what will happen when the universe ends or when you'll die
it's not gonna affect you until it happens
it's not gonna affect anyone you know until it happens
what *is* gonna affect you and anyone you know, right now, is what's going on right now

and to say "why not kill myself when everybody will eventually die anyways" is like saying "why eat anything but shit when all food we eat eventually becomes shit anyways"
do you eat dogshit anon?

not to mention suicide is also such an incredibly selfish thing to do, an action that takes all the pain you're feeling and transferring it to everybody who cares about you

goddamn anon, get some sense instead following a philosophy edgy tweens and teenagers spout

>>48508064
>>48506491

I've wanted to run a Dawn of Worlds thread with/for /tg/ for a while, but never seem to make the time to do it.

Anywho
I wanted to play an underdog kobold in3.5. I make a sorcerer. I should have seen the problem right then and there.

I haven't played 40k against another player in ten years, but I still collect, build, paint, list build, and write lore for my models

>>48506213
who hasn't?

>>48507291

I do the opposite. I make characters based on people I despise or do not understand so that I can gleam some insight (and respect) by being in their shoes for a bit.

>>48507373

Well, many of the characters are technical tests, often time to see where the game breaks. I can do some very serious min-maxing due to my systematic approach.

The "single player" stuff is basically just faffing about. I'm kind of an author so basically I create characters, figure what their life would be like, extrapolate it to their logical conclusions and then leave it. It's basically like writing a synopsis.

Generally I keep all these characters in a mental library, ready to be picked up at any point I need an NPC.

Ah, I guess that reminds me it might be worthwhile to mention I'm usually a GM.

>>48507544
Don't play shadowrun.

>>48507722
I'm in the same situation except I'm actually taking care of the baby right now...

Not all is lost anon. My plan is to DM the best games ever for my son and his friends a few years down the road.

>>48507808
Your friend sucks.

>>48507871
>Sweet god nothing gets me harder than logistic work in a game, assigning supplies, getting everything all worked out and set up.

My nigga!

>I like the Palladium System

How? What? Why? WHY?!?!

As long as you don't mean RIFTS, I guess.

>>48507198
You're thinking of /r9k/, /v/ or /b/. Most of you people who talk shit about /pol/ have never actually been there.

>>48506741
For fun? Variation?
I hate to give a tripfag attention, but know you and your need to give every bad guy a soft side have taken most of the fun out of villains. Not all of them need a freudian excuse.

>>48508643
He didn't say that every villian needed a freudian excuse.

He asked "why?" to someone playing an unrepentant bigoted rapist with no redeeming features solely to piss off the GM. Those are not the same things.

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>>48506760
>You know at this point I think daddy issues villains are the norm

So, what you're saying is that we need more mommy issues villains?

>>48506491
>>48508064
I've been building a very detailed world. I have like a hundred pages of notes on it. My friends, who are also my players, are occasionally astounded at the amount of detail I put into the world.
>You remember the EXACT DATE the Demon Lord of the Frothing Monsters was chucked down a pit?!
I just can't stop adding detail, man. I ran a couple sandbox sessions in which the players decided to be monster hunters instead of becoming a lord's hearthmen. They had a super detailed plan and everything. They thought I wouldn't be ready for such a change in story direction. GUESS WHAT FUCKERS

>>48508230
"selfish"
ok anon, it's time to stop posting

I had an idea 20 years ago when I first started playing tabletop that b3came kind of an obsession.
Every system exists in a multiverse. Eons ago, something happened that split reality into shards of itself. In some, people never advanced past the age of swinging sharp metal at each other. In others, technology advanced to the point that nuclear war devastated North America, creating hideous ghouls and mutated creatures roam the countryside. Some realities have dazzling space-faring spell-slingers, while others are locked in the grim darkness of only war.
And in every single reality, there has been one character with the same last name. Not always a very IMPORTANT character, and not always a very long-lived character.
But the family name remains the same in every reality, because of some childish fantasy I had when I was 13.

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I've been playing OD&D for so long (30+ years) that I am starting to forget the rules. Especially the obscure details that are used only on certain occasions, like holding your breath underwater & shit. But sometimes I'm starting to forget basics, like hit penalties & stuff.

So I've appointed one of my rules lawyers to look shit up for me when I need it.

>>48509015
Roy?

I absolutely fucking love breaking or messing with the fourth wall, to the point where I always include some sort of fourth wall breaking element in my games.

>>48506718

Then it is time for you to become a GM.

>>48506475
Liking 3.5 is not a sin.

Shitposting about 3.5 like it killed your cat is.

>>48509058
Never even considered this. Example?

>>48509050
Are you asking me if I am Roy, or if my character'set name is ___ Roy?
Because no to both.

I read and memorize every rule in a game book because I have nothing to do outside of gaming, work and house work.

>>48506891
>saved from suicide because the cops raided the wrong house at exactly the right time

dude you're a protagonist

I sometimes cheat on rolls, but only when it's important, like a life or death scenario. Thing is, everyone in the group trusts me, so they just joke that I have great luck.

I always become the group's leader, not even intentionally.

Villainous women are sort of a turn on, so my characters are more likely to play dumb around or be merciful to them.

Everyone in the group looks to me as the gold standard for a player, but it just comes naturally so I never have much advice for them.

My characters are always very similar.

>>48509116
Of what, a visual novel?

>>48509204
Fuck if I know, but you've got a backstory, go find your damn adventure

>>48509224
Oh, I'm not that anon, I'm a different anon asking what kind of protagonist he is

>>48508839
Joffrey?

I never make the characters I want because my group just makes random shit with no coordination and will refuse to cover anything outside of a minuscule niche.

Dnd, shadowrun, gurps, both WoD, AFMBE, Traveler.

All of these and I have to wait a week after everyone makes their character to know what massive holes I have to try and fill. We played Star Wars recently and the other 4 players showed up with combat monsters with no out of combat skills above base when the gm gave us 60xp extra.

>>48509058
I love doing this with not-quite-canon interactions as a player.
>[Player 1 gets up to go to the bathroom, everyone else is still playing]
>"PC 1, what do you think?"
>"Hold! Her player-spirit is absent, I see it in her eyes. We must not disturb her until the player returns to guide her"


The thing is to do it somewhat tastefully, often when we're doing something that's justified by OOC concerns anyway. Sometimes the DM will have an NPC react to an OOC comment, and I'll respond in-character, saying the comment was not in-character.

>>48509110
Jayhem Domm as a godlike entity when the GM is Dominic is a classic.

>>48506718
One of my best friends committed suicide last year. If he had known how many people would show up at his funeral, I don't think he would have done it.

>>48509265
C'est la vie, anon. No sense in having regrets, just enjoy the time you do have with your loved ones.

>>48508561
As far as I'm concerned, the later years when your kid can actually be considered a real person, with thoughts and feelings beyond WANT THING NOW, are a reward for putting up with the frankly intolerable nightmare that is the first half-dozen years.

Babies and toddlers are awful, without exception. Trying to romanticise it is just cruel to anybody who buys into the lovey-dovey bullshit.

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I've been trying to get my character killed in-game. I figure, when he dies, I'm going to finally kill myself. I don't know if my DM has noticed what I'm doing, but I'm getting more and more desperate.

>>48509298
Why even have your own child and have to put up with that? There's TONS of children and teenagers out there who are up for adoption. And, lets be honest, there's enough people out there popping out kids that you REALLY don't need to contribute your own hellspawn into the growing population. Just adopt a kid when they're at the perfect age, and enjoy raising him or her.
Though, I might have this stance mostly because my genes are absolute garbage, and I don't want to pass them on to any unfortunate tykes for generations to come.

>>48509325
Marcie? Is that you?

>>48506186
are you banging her?

>>48508821
A question with an obvious answer that doesn't qualify as rhetoric is stupid as hell. Why ask "why?" when the answer is obviously "because I thought it would be fun"?

>>48509418
Don't you have a wall to get the mexicans to pay for?

>>48509298
>Babies and toddlers are awful, without exception. Trying to romanticise it is just cruel to anybody who buys into the lovey-dovey bullshit.

It's tough, but it's not awful. I'm a stay at home dad and my baby is extremely easy to take care of. Granted I'm imsomniac anyway so it is probably a big bias.

If you love yourself and your time above all else, then yes, having a kid is hell. That's mostly because you'll raise your kid with contempt with the time he stole from you. If you actually give it to him willingly he won't be an unbearable shitstain because he doesn't fight for it. He'll take it, be satisfied and then let you do your stuff.

>>48509337
I lol'd, but mostly because my dad was the head of child protection. Those teens for "adoption" are basically all emotionally starved and raised like shit. Taking care of one of these literal monsters is a sacrifice, not a pleasure.

>>48509325
I've tried that. Didn't announce it to anyone, but dragged ass, made deliberately risky choices, etc.

DM just kept fudging the dice. This got to be continual to the point where all the monsters were nerfed, and the other players just took advantage of the easy kills.

>>48507157

I was gonna post what >>48507571 said, but they already covered it. Good job really mildly fucking with their digestive tract, I guess?

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>>48509443

>>48507808

Some people aren't equipped to be parents. That's all there is to it. I'm sorry to hear your friend is one of them, and I pity their child.

>>48506320
Sounds based.
Will unironically RP it.

>>48508613
Most people who talk shit about /pol/ are 100% accurate. It's /b/ with a greater focus on racism.

>My DM didn't read the profane magic section of the books in 3.5
>He thinks they can cast any spell without preparing them
>He doesn't make us pay for components
>I only play wizards
Not to justify myself or anything, but the amount of bullshit houserules he has is incredible. [s]He has a character that is literally Kratos from GoW that is the BBEG[/s]

>>48506718
why?

>>48506741
Maybe he wanted to get a better perspective of how a psychopath operates. You know, for when he wants to DM.

>>48506165
I only played tabletop like 3 times but I own a bunch of dice and pretend I know what I'm talking about

I'm desperate for friends and they closed down the game store where i could've found new people to hang with

>>48508613
this

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>>48509554
I'm pretty sure I suffer from depression, which is why I've been trying for over a week to go to a doctor. I feel like I've wasted my life, have no talents, no goals, and no real great interests besides tabletop games, vidya games, and memes. I have no real motivation or energy to change this, even though I want to and know I need to. I constantly feel anxious about not only my place in the world but also the idea that maybe everyone I know doesn't really like me and resents me, but keeps doing things with me because they think they're supposed to because we used to have fun together. I don't really have fun, I just get more and more concerned, so that anytime they do anything without me, for any reason, I think I'm not invited because of them. I try to hide the way I feel and play it off as being tired if anyone notices, but it's getting so bad that customers at work seem to be noticing it.

All of this and my general failure at life (including my inability to do something as basic as finding a doctor) are driving me to think about how easy it would be to just drive off of a bridge.

>>48509532
Confirmed never having been there. It's a different crowd altogether. /b/'s crowd is literally Facebook people. They also hang out in /x/ and /soc/. Say what you will about /pol/, but normies they're not. Plus they have the oldest demographic, while /b/'s is one of/the youngest.

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I have a game where one of the characters is a traitor and the players are blaming each other.
I know who the traitor is, and it's super fun.
It's an NPC, and I pretend it's a player because I enjoy the paranoia. I take absolutely every opportunity to fuck with my players, such that I warned one player about doing something the traitor might take advantage of even though I know the traitor wouldn't to keep from blowing his cover.
Another NPC will betray the party at the last minute. I put very tiny hints every so often. The main traitor wasn't present or mentioned during the original paranoia - inducing attack.
I love being a DM. It lets me fuck with people's heads.

>>48506165
I really like playing beefy melee characters. Paladins, fighters, barbarians. I always build one to try out a system and I rarely play other kinds of characters.

>>48509627
Okay fine I guess I just haven't been on fucking /b/ in like 8 years. I guess all the dipshits from /b/ who never bothered to actually have interests just migrated to /pol/.

>>48509657
That sounds awesome.

>>48509704
Do you have proof you've ever been anywhere?
What proof of your existence have you had lately?
Reflect.

>>48507571
So the story about a US general halting islamic terrorism for almost half a century in the Pacific by executing the captured jihadists with ammunition dipped in pig fat is just a myth? I'm bamboozled.

>>48509613
Ive been feeling this way lately, especially since I lost my job.

I have encouraging words for you anon.

>>48509742
To confirm my own existence, I only have the famous quote of René Descartes, I think, therefore give her the D.

>>48509742
What do you mean? I thought everyone here was also a bot pretending to be a person.

>>48509613
I don't know what genuine fun or love are for a few years aswell m8, but I like to think I'm getting there.
Go on the dole if you have to, and spend your time reading comfy police novels and listening to nostalgia music from the days you remember you were happy, even if you have to go all the way back to your childhood. Take one or two NEET years and try to learn 2 or 3 basic trades while you're at it. You might find one you like along the way.
Or pick a place you always wanted to go to, and bum your way to it, hitchhiking, camping, doing shit jobs... Even if you starve to death before getting there, you'll do it while serving a goal or purpose.

And by curiosity, are you a europoor?

>>48509898
Completely destroying your status quo is incredibly liberating. Me, I literally packed my bags and moved 3 timezones away on a dime. I'm not saying it's perfect but I'm at least occasionally happy now.

I play silver.

I tend to paint one miniature decently well and then not touch a paintbrush for months. Doesn't stop me from playing, though.

>>48509898
>are you a europoor?

Nah, Amerikek. Is that why I don't know what "Go on the dole" means?

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Sometimes when I get a bad roll and nobody is looking, I re-roll.

>>48509972
Nah, it's because most types I've met around the internet feeling gloomy and with a lack of purpose/identity/will to do anything have been men from western european countries.
Dole is welfare, autism bux, name it as you want.
Also you shouldn't expect much from your acquaintances and most people you call "friends", or bother at all at what they might think of you, because 99,99% of their worries all day errday is about their own living.
Don't lose faith on those very few closest to you, especially your parents. I have fucked up big time a couple of times in my life, had moments where I though my own family would turn their backs on me, but they never stopped supporting me, and caring for me, and that helped me a lot in getting through the shittiest part of my life.
As for doctors, be a little skeptical. You might luck out and find the most conscientious, self-aware, altruistic and wise professional to help you, or you can also find an uppity shit cunt who just graduated and will try to "fix" you by forcing a bullshit thought pattern on you. So don't be disencouraged if you stumble upon this kind first. Keep looking. People who attend to meditation/spiritual circles usually are good, well-intentioned people who have great advice for free, or will know some good doctor to recommend you, who will be better than the 100 chumps you'll find on a yellow page.

>>48510176
I understand why there's so many like that. What's left to do?

Either modern civilization is doomed, or the robots are coming for everyone's jobs. And possibly their lives. Either way, we lose.

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>>48510646
Ride the Tiger, brah...

After making tons of generic shitty self-insert characters and edgelords for my early characters, for my most recent campaign, I sat down and tried to do something completely different and branch out.

So for a few hours before I went to sleep the night I came up with the idea, I started giving her character. This was the most characterization I'd ever given any character I've made and I was really glad about it.

Woke up the next morning, had breakfast, reread the notes I made,
.
.
...and realized that I'd made my character my waifu unintentionally.

Needless to say, the waifu was scrapped for a boring statblock.

>>48506722
dont listen to this op, just go ahead and kill yourself

>>48506825
He was quoting a Queen song ya pleb.

>>48509110
Example: I once gave a player a screen filled with an NPC's thoughts and never really bothered to elaborate on what was going on or if this was even in character.

>>48506186
I don't understand, ERP (in my experience) are always super fucking cringy and awkward, how do people do it?

>>48507056

A splat in Battletech.

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>>48506594
Anthony?

If so, don't think I forgot the death-wine trick you pulled. Your onee-chans got one comin' for them

>>48507069
I always have a general plot, and a handful of arcs based on whatever the setting is the players need to travel to go to that direction.

The people and societies are already active and doing shit to each other without player intervention. All I gotta do is sit back and hear what they do, then reactions are natural as I'm not so concerned with "this MUST happen" and its more of "Well, X would do Y then." Each action must have a consequence, if I can't think of one immediately, it becomes a sub-plot later on for the party to un-fuck itself.

Wish I could use legit maps more often though, but right now I have too many players where legitimately interesting terrains would halt progress.

Second confession is I really want to try online random games with the hope of meeting new/cool people. Feel like I've tapped out potential contacts IRL. But some of my friends are trying to DM after watching me and I really want to support them. Its in the sweet spot of "flakey enough to piss me off" but "often enough to keep me on the hook". I'll probably break off from them in about 2 more weeks when work eases up.

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>>48506165
I really like Adepta Sororitas.
Like, to a creepy extent.
I've written fanfiction, never published it, though.
I play Imperial Guard so as not to look like a creepy loser, though.

>>48507808
They sound like they're not mentally equipped to be parents. It's tiring, yeah, but I've never known anyone that's had that shit happen to them. Unless you're just repeating what shit middle aged comedians have joked about during their sets.

>>48506165
I always play the same characters. I'd gladly retire them if I finished telling their story... but until then I fixate on one idea so hard I just can't into another.

>>48508975
Dude, it is a selfish act.
"Wah, I'm in pain. My feelings are more important than the feelings of everyone who cares about me"

Definition of selfish is "lacking consideration for others"

Deciding you're going to kill yourself, without considering the people you are going to hurt, is the -definition- of selfish.

I don't actually like roleplaying, I just like making characters and combats

>>48506165 (OP)

While DMing I feel like my session are more like a complicated Who's Line skit than a planned game. I frequently take my players ideas and roll with them instead of having something planned.

For example, my players are all newbies, and I'm first time DMing, so I'm trying to get them to do something interesting. Gave them a simple "rob this dude's house, he's having a party in a week" quest, hoping for them to Ocean's 11 this shit.
I've made up complications for them on the spot for 3 sessions in a row. I thought they stole some invitations too easily, so I made them magical, only worked if the proper recipient held them. Rogue was just going to murderhobo his way through the guestlist and force them to give him their +1 tickets. I had his next target die and the murder weapon attack him. I didn't plan or even stat that encounter, just seemed to fit on the fly.
I have no idea if I'm doing this right or not.

Bonus confession
I drink while DMing, and drank too much last session. I made an effeminate wizard, voiced him and everything
I have a tg/sissy fetish

>>48507029
>>48507147

I cook food for all my group most of the times, I just wanted to see how much meat I can hide in his food without him starting to suspect something.

One time I put more meat in his food than the rest of the group combined

>>48509019
I understand. I have been system hopping for the last decade, reading rules for system after system, rpg and wargame, rules light and heavy. After 20 years of playing and 10 years of trying tons of new systems, I can barely remember rules to any of them, and find myself no longer caring.

I wrote a Fluffy pony Rpg. You can find it at fluffybooru

My players think I fudge the occasional roll, but I haven't looked at the value of my dice for months. I just roll it and choose whatever suits the story best.

>>48512517
I bet you think all us other DMs prepare all their stuff in advance
I prepare almost nothing for sessions and my players still don't know

If your players are having fun, then you're doing it right.

I only like GMing my shitty Simple-d6 homebrew.

I make almost every combat a life-or-death situation, and shit can go south extremely fast, and honestly it's tiring for both me and my players.

I have a huge Dark Souls boner and insert a lot of it into my games.

I dislike non-human races (I can tolerate Elves, Dwarves and Halflings) and often try to run human-only games.

My games usually crumble after 3-4 sessions, or after a single session because I'm shit at organizing and rounding players up to play.

>>48507083
I know the feeling. I love FC but I am alone in that.

I found out what kind of guy the qt elf player in my game likes so I rerolled and made what coincidentally is also the type of characters I really enjoy playing. I did this just so people would ship our characters and I could get a qt elf girlfriend.
The old character I was playing was getting a bit stale and we were always REALLY confrontational with each other but since the guy who was the mediator that kept us from killing each other(mainly me killing her.) left the game to go back to school its not as fun.

>>48506718
Find an emotion that drives you onward.
For me it used to be hate, nowadays it's mostly empathy.
But than again tg is not the right place for this, I suggest talking to some1 about it IRL.

I want to be the biggest snowflake piece of shit ever but my GM never fucking lets me fuck you I want two heads why won't you let me have this? It's probably for the best that he's not dumb enough to put up with my bullshit.

I also tend to make ten billion different characters before a campaign, sit around trying to choose one forever until I finally decide, get in-game, have fun, and then I get kinda bored of them after a few sessions. It's a genuine problem and I don't think I can fix it. Please help me. I hate this. I hate it so much.

I have an extremely low tolerance of players who tell me any part of their character is inspired by anime, manga, and anything modern Japanese. It automatically puts you on my list of people I don't want to play with and I will outright kick people over this.

If a player constantly has something to comment on everything I say, even if I've already covered the point they are making, I'm quick to tell them to stop piping up all the time.

I don't believe players actually read. Not the books, not the messages I send in Skype, not the emails. Not fully anyways. I never give them the benefit of the doubt on this. Especially when I just send it and they start commenting on it right away. I equate telling me you read something fully and saying you understand it multiple times then not understanding it or getting the information wrong frequently with lying. I do not tolerate liars in my games.
I just... Why is it so hard to read a book? You only need to know what your character does. Not even all the book.

If a player says they have any sort of mental disorder, or disability I tell them they shouldn't play in my games. If they insist I tell them flat out no.

For some reason I have very little patients for bad players and will only be nice three times. If they don't improve then its like a switch, I just become an asshole to them and kick them.

I haven't enjoyed a game I run in a very long time. I tell everyone I had fun but I didn't. I run the games for the people in them not myself. Its all based on them.
People tell me I run VERY good game and I'm one of the only GMs they know that actually use the backstories they write. I'm told I run a world that feels very alive and that I always make them care about the plot but for the most part its not fun for me. I like sitting around a table with people and having a fun evening but running games isn't fun anymore. Maybe it will improve when I find people in person to run for, these online games are as dull as they come.

>>48506165
>When I play, my characters often give long inspired speeches. All of them are just Disney or metal songs translated into my language. Last time my character gave a speech before his army in preparation for a full-scale rebellion. It was "Be Prepared" from Lion King.
That's pretty cool desu.
I think I'll do the same at some point (but translating /into/ English from my native Russian metal or rock)

>>48512717
>I dislike non-human races (I can tolerate Elves, Dwarves and Halflings) and often try to run human-only games.

I'm always up for any game in any system as long as I have time, but if the GM tells me it's humans-only I will produce every excuse possible to skip out on the campaign, from legitimate all the way down to walk-my-fish tier.

>>48509613
>I'm pretty sure I suffer from depression, which is why I've been trying for over a week to go to a doctor.
>>48509613
>including my inability to do something as basic as finding a doctor
Sounds about right.
Admitting to yourself that you have a problem is probably the hardest step. If you have somebody you feel you can talk to maybe you can ask them to go with you.
Really makes it easier to have somebody to lean on.

If that's too hard as well you can try writing emails instead. Talking to people even on the phone can be quite a hurdle, if you are feeling depressed.

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>>48506165
Before a game broke up, I had discovered a multitude of party members secrets including:
>Our Tiefling Warlord's connection to a Tiefling Secret Society of plotting rebels
>A rough idea of their pay from this society
>The fate of a tailor left in their care(dead, dead, dead)
>The nature of the Dark entity our Half-Elven Shadowpact Warlock was Contracted to
>The identities of the contacts we had in a shady trading Consortium
>The true identity of the Criminal Mastermind of an outpost town
>The Dwarves spy, who I then convinced that I'd work for him keeping tabs on our group
>And last but not least, the presence of an Elemental Titan sealed beneath a mountain(though the whole party was in on that)

The best part is that I kept all these secrets from the rest of the party with my incredible Charisma skill scores, and they all were spoken above the table as meta-game information, so the rest of the players knew I knew most of the party's secrets, but were certain in-game that I was as clueless as the low wisdom Bard I was playing.

Also, I loved using my Bardic abilities to Push, pull, or slide allies and enemies, and gift out free melee basics to my good buddies.

>>48506225
Which album is that, anyway?

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>>48513354
Relatively unknown these days. Pretty much a one-hit-wonder back in the day.


I'm just joking.

>>48513113
I know what your problems are, the most important of which is that making characters is the fun part for you. The other problem is that you have a shitty childlike idea of what makes a character interesting. I have both of those problems myself.

I don't have a cure for the first but I imagine fixing the second is along the lines of "have a more down to earth GM make your character for you and force yourself to play it". I can't bear to do that (even though I really need to do that for more than that reason), so I'll stick with animal-shaped utility robots and other such autism.

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I include an amazon woman in every game I run because its my biggest fetish

>>48506626
>>48506824
Or maybe they like it.

>>48507373
>since being both player and GM would mean you know everything that's gonna happen.
Not quite.
Only the dice gods know.

>>48507544
I know that feeling.

I am making plans to gather some MC sluts on flist and run a game for them in which they are puppets of a mastermind.

>>48507722
wait eleven years.
Run a game for your child.

>>48513789
I started D&D at 4 y-o. You just need to read him Bilbo as his bedtime story.

>>48509058
I had an NPC yell at the players everytime they rolled dice to stop the ZOGGIN' RATTLIN'.

I'll also mention I've played at least two characters who've been pretty savvy in predicting plot points. Granted, one actually had the Bad Luck negative trait, so he WAS actually sarcastically expecting the worst.

>>48513146
Harsh, but just (for online play). I'd wager you'd have to be a bit more lenient with RL games because you can't really choose your players well there. There's gonna be a friend of a friend and other fucko's that will never really play, but enjoy the social interaction and sitting around with friends. Shit's a bit more complex IRL.

>>48513174
Most of my players are newbies and human-only games ground them, and allow them to RP well. I've had cyborgs, living undead dolls and Prototype-virus-guy in one high fantasy game. I'm "human-only" unless the player can sell me on why he should play something more exotic.

>>48506165
I used to tilt dice in my current group, and I would keep doing it to this day if we didn't move to online sessions. I'm kinda glad we did since it gets rid of the temptation, because it made me feel like trash whenever I did it.

Recently I've been playing exclusively female characters, secretly hoping to play out a full-blown romance one day, but it never happens.

I never tell the rest of my party about any of my mechanical abilities until I actually use them, but I'm always bugging other players about what their characters are capable of at the same time.

Whenever I see a feat/power/skill that is really easy to break, but only because it's vaguely worded or easy to misinterpret, I'll take it and not tell the GM about it until I finally use it in-game. Most times he won't check the original wording of the power to contest, and if he calls BS I just play innocent.

>>48506165
If I have the opportunity to PM or pass a note to the GM for secrets, I'll do it, even if it's for stupid shit like asking an NPC questions on the side.

Whenever the party is gathered in an area, I walk away to do something else because I have main character syndrome.

I will always ask for something homebrew or third party when the campaign is starting. Sometimes it's modest stuff that isn't mechanically relevant, sometimes it's not, but I've always gotta have the 'special' thing.

>>48511165
Turn off your inhibitions with a shot or five and just embrace your inner demons.

>>48506165
I always make the character that hates the rest of the party by default. Usually I start with an idea that they'll eventually warm up to the party, and it never happens.

I had a phase where I was into ponies, and I got my friends to play a system based on the show. It was surprisingly alright, but we don't talk about it nowadays.

>>48511165
>I don't understand, masturbation (in my experience) is always super fucking lame and awkward, how do people do it?

Although that may just be bad luck and only running into total shitters. Of which there are a lot.

>>48506497

This is why you see two dudes in a hot glue video

I really don't like the campaign I'm playing in, or the way the DM runs it, but I love the characters my friends have made and the interactions between us. I just hate the goddamn world we're in and how it works and the plot, and the kind of combat we're always in.

>>48506165
I hesitate to make a character before a game, and I insist on having the group decide what character I play.

The only game I have GM'd is Engine Heart.

I have a fetish for animalistic robots.

>>48514939
>I have a fetish for animalistic robots.
How hard did you fap to Blade Wolf?

>>48514959
I refuse to fap on principle. Blade Wolf was too much of a person to arouse me that way, but he seemed like a nice guy.

>>48508174
you need to be put down like the lying dog you are.

>>48506165
I hate my group, with a passion, and set up a chain of events to get a member removed, so it would collapse.

I feel completely justified, because it's been horrible for the past year.

>>48510001
You and me both, brother.

>>48515149
Anon, don't bother with schemes, just tableflip on them.

I mean it literally. Flip a fucking table, do a 360 and leave while doing double bird.

>>48507021
Thank you for saving that man's life.

>>48513263
I tried ignoring it for a while, hoping it would go away, but it didn't go away. I did actually talk to someone about it, who also suffers from depression (and I think a few other things). He told me to find a doctor right away. Several times.

>>48513448
Well she's certainly a big gal.

>>48515201
That's the best idea I've heard yet.

I destroyed my friends printer sheetcopy of DND Next with a lighter and gasoline because I didnt like the system, he was amd for a while, but he doesnt like it anymore either and would rather be playing one page RPG shit, which i am OK with. I regret it because now i dont mind DND also i dont understand why I was so angry about DND
my autism knows no bounds
Also im sorry phil i will print you out a new one

>>48515336
>he was amd for a while

Did he switch to Intel?

>>48515364
You know shame on me for not spellchecking, i had that one coming

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I extensively research the meta whenever it comes to building a character mechanically. I don't consciously do it so that I could "break the game" but rather so that I don't suck so much that I don't have a good time or I can't do my job as a member of PC group. In the end, however, I have just absolutely crushed a few campaigns in my time. I guess that is just another way my insecurity manifests itself...

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>>48515444
>I guess that is just another way my insecurity manifests itself...
Aside from roleplaying?

>>48515510
Well yes, obviously. I just mean that I somehow manage to go even deeper into the rabbit hole.

I have not gamed in... almost six years now. My time is spent theorycrafting, worldbuilding, and designing adventures for a group I don't have. In that time, my shitpost:legitimatepost ratio has gone way off. I haven't derailed any threads or started trollthreads, but I've gleefully participated in them. God, it's like I'm /v/. Sorry if I ever picked a fight with or actually antagonized anyone.

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>>48506165
I can't roleplay in person. I can only get comfortable doing it online through text. I'd love to get into it, but my akwardness at the table had me leave my group with me trying to hide how angry and upset I was with myself for being unable to get comfortable with it in person.

I can do wargames fine, but ttrpgs make me want to kill myself whenever I try to get into them, and I really do want to play.

I don't think I ever really liked the group I played with a while back, nor do I think they enjoyed me. I would interact with them and have a laugh and make goofy characters, but I feel like I never really hit it off with any of them. My interests were so very different than theirs, and I would try to edge closer to those interests, only to be pulled back by the conformity of the group.

I think I have stopped enjoying tabletop, but am still enamored with world building. Maybe I should start writing. I don't know.

>>48507461
You do realize that /tg/ is not one homogeneous being right?

I don't love any of that shit. Fuck off you and your assumptions.

>>48507461
While I can respect this attitude, it strikes me as unimaginative. For me, being unimaginative in a game of make believe is the greatest sin that one can possibly commit.

>>48507791
>implying there aren't more fish in the sea
>implying that my character would be interest in someone who shows interest in the BBEG

notenough/kek

>>48507817
There is nothing new under the sun.

It's not stealing if you don't get caught doing it.

>>48507148
>>48507039

I saw that pasta last year when I was depressed and living a dead end life.

So I left, took up volunteering (0 expense travel, basically) and now am in the south of France and just stepped out of the pool at the place I'm volunteering at

Still want to kill myself every now and then though

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>>48515904
Just chill around public places in France and eventually someone will do it for you.

>>48509613
Probably too late for you to see this, but I just wanna say, don't feel like you're a burden to your mates.

One of my friends is basically losing his wife and kids, then found out he's lost his job.
I know he feels like he's weighing us down when he looks for support, but he's not. I may not have anything I can do to help, but I sure as hell am willing to do anything I can.
I'm willing to bet you've got at least a few friends the same, whether you know it or not.

>>48513146
>I have an extremely low tolerance of players who tell me any part of their character is inspired by anime, manga, and anything modern Japanese. It automatically puts you on my list of people I don't want to play with and I will outright kick people over this.

This is why I never tell anyone my sources until we're already 4-5 sessions in.

I played my first DnD session (and ttrpg in general) only 7 months ago. I am still playing the original OotA campaign that introduced me to the game.

Whenever I go to a campaign where I am playing a wizard, I will don a Veigar hat and a blue blanket and claim to be the "Stereotypical DnD Loser." Everyone appreciates my humor and I keep my garb on the entire session.

The main DnD group I attend has one DM and 9 players, including myself. This was the first group I ever got into, so "normal" sized groups of 3-4 people feel really tiny and awkward to me.

In a recent CoS campaign I was a player in, I unintentionally got my ADHD (and likely bipolar) DM so angry at me that I was almost rolling initiative in real life. The co-DM he barely knew that he had recruited the day before (which I think was a dumb idea anyway) kicked me out of the group. Whether the co-DM was genuinely mad at me, concerned for my safety, or a mixture of both I'll never know, but now I am afraid of going to the OotA campaign that he attends as a player on and off. Although he's is obese, heavyweights can generally through a nasty punch, especially considering I'm not all that tough.

I once tried to play a combat barber in a medieval setting and played him off as a Indian immigrant with the usual accent. Got bitched out about it for being racist but whatever.

>>48509354

That might give the game away, somewhat.

I can't stop using Dazing spell. The worst was when I built an obese wizard with over 20 initiative and heightened persistent Dazing ball lightning DC 31 reflex save or be dazed for 8 rounds. Also there were 4 lightning balls.

I felt pretty bad about it and I was actually glad when an enemy spellcaster cast anti-magic field on my wizard and then pulled a bookcase on top of him.

>>48506165
Pretty simple one.
I've been roleplaying in MMORPGs for a decade, but I've never played a tabletop.
It's just hard to find ones that aren't DnD in my country.

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>>48506165
I'm really bad at roleplaying and I feel ashamed of it. I try to not interact too much because I can't give me character any kind of personality. I've been playing as her for over a year now

>>48506953
That's pretty good time honestly, Anon. Non-critical depression usually takes like, 6 months or more for an appointment.
Psychiatrists are kinda useless though, the meds are the only things you need. Meds and insane amounts of willpower.

Without the willpower, you're fucked, but the willpower won't really be enough without the meds. It's sort of like a catalyst I guess

>>48509237
>>48509224
>>48509204
>>48509116
Sounds like the start of a Punisher-like vigilante arc. "The cops can't do anything right. They bumble things up so hard, even the people who WANT to die don't get their way. Woe to those who wanted to live."

>>48509898
that's retarded advice for someone who's got major depressive disorder

your advice only works for sadsacks who need to pull their shit together, and the other Anon sounds like he might actually just have a malfunctioning brain

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I'm a compulsive flake that enjoys joining campaigns and then quitting three days before the first session.

>>48513263
>Admitting to yourself that you have a problem is probably the hardest step.
Why is this platitude regurgitated so often?
Recognizing and admitting a problem is like, the easiest thing in the entire world. Fixing something like that is nigh-impossible by yourself

>>48515214
>>48507147
>>48512528
>>48507029
>>48507021
Look, I've hunted and butchered animals for food and I don't go a day without eating something that was at some point moving, breathing and probably hoping one day to breed like a madman or settle down with a nice doe in the countryside, but this is a terrible thing to do.

It's not that you're not respecting their dietary choices, veganism doesn't deserve any respect at all. It's the fact that when you agreed to make food, the vegan placed its trust in you. You could have just said "nah I won't make food for you", but no, you decided to take that trust and betray it for no real reason but petty spite.

I don't care how stupid vegans are, you're a bad person for trashing someone's trust like that, even if they're functionally retarded.

>>48509766
you do realize there has never been such a thing as Islamic terrorism for more than half a decade right

>>48507157
>being a pussy
What astounding genetic superiority you've displayed, Anon

I want to buy a few Warhammer 40k models. Just for painting and room decoration.

>>48516906
As the guy who wrote that and someone who took several years to finally even try and get help, I gotta say you got it all wrong.
If you are depressed you are unable to act, because you cease to be able to construct a future for yourself or even want anything.
It's paralyzing.
Which is why that copy pasta about going on an adventure is pretty retarded desu.

For example admitting to yourself that you are an alcoholic is something you can lie to yourself about until you run out of money to buy more alcohol and you get the shakes. It doesn't happen over night, same with depression. And avoiding problems is a pretty common thing.
It's how people, or at least some, are wired.

Fixing it yourself it impossible period.
Which is why getting help is easier if you can talk to somebody you trust first.

God knows what got you into that situation, but going up to a stranger and telling them about your most intimate, personal and possibly in your mind, humiliating problems is a huge burden.

So don't talk out of your ass please. It may be a platitude, but it's true non the less.
First you got to realize you need help, then you have to want to get it and then act on it.

Saying shit like 'it's the easiest thing in the entire world' is on the same level and about as helpful as telling a depressed person to 'just be happy'.

>>48515336
Virtualoptim pls go

>>48517258
did you actually read my post Anon?
I've had major depressive disorder for a duration of two years. I know what it's like perfectly well. It got bad enough they had to use tricyclics before there was even a tiny bit of improvement.

I was not so fucking retarded I didn't know what my problem was. You have to be actively stupid to not realize what your issues are.
The problem is that knowing the issues doesn't help even a little bit, or it wouldn't take for-fucking-ever to see any improvement. It's not hard. It's not difficult.

The one talking out the ass here is you.

>>48509766

No, I think it's just a new interpretation to keep their fighters from being spooked.

>>48517330
>>48517258
Just to reiterate: actually doing something about it is incredibly difficult, but admitting that you have a problem is trivial.

>>48517344
>but admitting that you have a problem is trivial.
uuuu

>>48517376
I mean sure, I'm not saying everyone wasted their life thinking about what a worthless sack of shit they are and how it's so easy to fix all of these problems but you're too much of a sadsack and an incompetent heap of junk to actually bother doing any of them, but I can't imagine the part of "not deluding yourself" EVER being the "hardest" part of a mental disorder unless your mental disorder is a meme

>>48517391
Okay, man.
I'm sure you have some tough times behind you, but not everybody is you.
For example: I have major trust issues and some fucked up family shit that makes it pretty tough for me to talk about that stuff at all.

So yeah, admitting to myself that I can't deal with it by myself was pretty fucking hard.

I don't want to take away from your brave soldier routine I was just trying to put that into perspective for the guy that need help, right fucking now.

>>48517479
Look, I'm not a tough guy. I just felt, when I was in worse times, that whenever someone repeated old tired memes, there was no comfort. It only made me feel even worse, because it felt so... clinical. A canned, trained response.
Personally, the fact that I had done my research before going to the shrink and could therefore recognize basically everything I was about to be told is why I now have less than zero faith in our medical system. Everyone just repeats the same old fucking bullshit and it's rarely ever true.
Meds are still useful, but I just feel it's weird that platitudes are so commonly repeated despite (and this is personal, can't speak for anyone else), them always being disheartening and empty

>>48517710
Psychotherapy, as in talking, is surprisingly helpful imo.
Never heard a single platitude there. Mainly cause you are the one talking.

Made some interesting connections and recognized some patterns in my behavior there that I would never have seen on my own.

I'm just getting started though. Still gotta get my life back on track.

>>48506953

I'm actually so glad I live in bongland, just went to my GP and they sorted everything out for me to see various specialists. Not too rub it in your face or anything.

Just keep at it man, it really helped me, if you can hang on until at least you start therapy then everything could turn around for you.

>>48515676
Based on your choice of reaction image and social awkwardness I can deal felt say you should probably try to get some irl friends and talk to people face-to-face more often.

>>48506165
I used to make horrible, horrible roleplaying systems set in horrible, horrible, cliched settings and subjected my two friends to RPGs in them.

one fled overseas to study in uni for four years, another one fled overocean and doesn't plan to comeback anytime soon. i blame myself.

>>48506165
I am a wargaming fan by have exactly zero friends to play with, so I have four armies and play against myself sometimes.

Which is boring and feels like bitter lonely masturbation, but I have no alternatives.

>>48518948
Is there no local FLGS? Surely there is one nearby? There is almost always a local community for this sort of shit. Look around online anon.

>>48519100
there isn't. there was one, it gone almost broke and moved to online-only years ago

local wargaming forum is dead for years

i live in small eastern-european shithole, man.

>>48506861
>everything that you've said will lose its meaning
That implies anything I've ever said has had any real meaning.
>Are you ready for that?
Yeah sure. What the fuck would I care I would be dead?
>Wouldn't you rather counterattack instead of leaving your own song unsung?
I will never have a song, most people won't, most people aren't going to do anything really important.
>Can you justify not breathing air into your lungs?
Sure, fuck my life.

Honestly these anti-suicide fags make me want to kill myself more than I did before.

>>48508174
>These things we do that others can have fun.

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>>48506726
Were lightning dice involved?

>>48506165
I do this same thing, though for speeches it's usually just small segments of songs.

Whenever I DM and need a prophecy, though, there's about a 90% chance that it's slightly tweaked metal lyrics (iirc the last one was Ghost of the Navigator).

Also, I really like 3.X. If anyone asks I tell them that I never had a chance to play an Inquisitor in Pathfinder and really want to try one out (which is true), but I also really like the system (despite it's many flaws) and occasionally try to homebrew it into some semblance of a good system.

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>>48519248
Then kill yourself.
It's not a great use of your time, though. If you've got nothing to live for you could go and do something bitching.
Like, IDK, go explore some random country. Or rob a bank. Or live in the wild. Have some fun before you go out. It's not like you've got anything better to do.

>>48519826
I don;t actually give a fuck, I just get annoyed by the pretentious anti-suicide people. If someone is seriously contemplating suicide odds are they haven't done anything of note or regard in their lives and they won't if they continued to live out their life anyway.

>>48513146
>I don't believe players actually read.
This.

I TYPED SUMMARIES FOR YOU GUYS ON MY OWN TIME SO YOUR DUMB ASSES WOULD KNOW BASIC SHIT.

>>48515676
You could try a game where you're playing yourself to sorta ease into it, like the FFG End of the World books.

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I can't play characters for long if I don't also ERP with them at some juncture.

During my developmental years, I played WoW a lot on a roleplay server (at first because I was just tired of getting ganked on PvP servers all the time, but then I wanted to actually roleplay to fit in). During this time, I'd been reading a LOT of porn, and that kind of translated into what I wanted to do with my characters, since all the cool people were doing it.

And besides that, because I was a shit character writer, people only hung out with me for ERP, and never for actual roleplay, but because I was a stupid teenager, I never realized that. And because of that, I associated ERP with people actually liking and being interested in the things that I do.

So now if I don't ERP with a character of mine, I just see it as people not being interested in my character, and it makes the whole experience just kind of dull for me. There are exceptions to this, and I'm getting over it - very slowly - but I still associate ERP = quality and fun.

I don't like this.

I run games, but I do so with literally no prep time.

>>48520246
I'll erp with you but I am horribly bad at everything

>>48520468
Thanks, anon.

>>48520500
I'd probably also enjoy your normal roleplay.
After all 30 year old virgins can't be choosers

>>48520538
>30 year old virgin

You know. That's probably the crowd I hung out with when I was a teenager online.

Everything I look back upon is cringe.

>>48520578
I'll be the 16 year old teen girl for you now then. The circle has to continue

okay, i'm out of this thread, this getting cringeworthy

>>48519957
Seems you arn't doing it. If you were planning for one, you'd not talk about in here. Also you just sound like you are going through teen angst. Meh.

>>48520636
>getting

>>48514129
I'm actually less forgiving or IRL players. I will run games at a FLGS then cherrypick who I invite back to my house for the more detailed and in depth game. I'd rather have no players than shit players.
One guy caught wind that I had a game at my house and asked why he wasn't invited, I told him flat out that I didn't like him, didn't want him in my house or the games. He decided to quit all my games.
He also complained to the manager of the store I was running at that I was excluding people.
Fortunately the manager was willing to hear out what I had to say and agreed that I did in fact have the right to choose who I invite into my home. I told the manager that the guy in question was welcome to continue to join us at his store but he left of his own free will and didn't want to come back.

>>48506491
Maybe we could worldbuild a setting for an ERP game anon :3

>>48517002
I bet you pretend Israel is in the wrong too. Fuck off.

>>48520617
Erpers are so thirsty.

>>48506718
Statistically most people who were saved commiting suicide are glad they didn't go through with it after, thats what usually stops me from going through with it. Also I'm a coward.