So today I sat down to run my weekly game of D&D at a local

>>48497376

About how old is he, This would be a difficult situation for me, I run a home game so I rarely have that kind of problem but I could definitely see it happening at store run games.

Its possible that the problem might sort itself out, If your lucky he might either learn to enjoy the game how it is, or get bored of it (and perhaps try it again when he is more mature)

>>48497376
dude its your own spare time. Unless that mom is paying you tell the kid to fuck off. You are under no obligation to baby sit.

You dont need rules you need some self respect. If you dont like someone, or dont like a situation, or if anything makes you unhappy do something about it yourself. You could:
1) fight it
2) discuss it
3) walk away from it
4) zillions of options

You choice to bitch about it after the fact on an image board, which is an option.. just a very poor one.

>>48497376
>that akward momemnt when trying to be a good decent human being backfires horribly.

I've been on the recieving end a couple of times with that feel. You be nice to someone that seems like their getting shit on by life to be nice, and then you have a horribly annoying/uncomfortable relationships that's hard to cut off because you don't want to be a dick.

The only solution I've found is a firm "sorry I don't want to hang out anymore". You can't live through life and be happy AND never step on any toes.

I mean theres some times where I'd just advise dealing with it. When I was a kid playing baseball I was the only friend of an autistic kid on our team and I remember the father thanking me after the season was over, he understood the situation, and since I knew it was only temporary for that season, being nice is fine during that time.

>>48497376
calmly talk to the mum.
explain your situation.
tell her you can do it - if she pays you like she would any other babysitter.

>>48497622
SEXUAL PAYMENT

>tfw no doujin of fucking autistic kids mom.

>>48497376
Nigga that NOT how you use commas.

>>48497629
well, why not,
if she's hot.

Srsly though, parents are usually happy to pay babysitters fairly, and she most likely appreciates the time off for herselfe and understands how stressing her kid can be. This way it's a win-win situation:
Kid is entertained
You get some lunchmoney
She gets freetime

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>>48497660
OP used them to separate clauses in his sentences. What's wrong with that? As far as I am aware, that is proper English. Is your dictionary a Webster's, by any chance?

>>48497376
Just tell the kid you are thinking about earning money. Reasons could be freedom, murrica dream, paying rent. Now he either fucks off or pays you.

>>48497376
That's not ADHD (which I have, my 3 brothers have and my mom has), that's just him being an asshole who never gets whupped and gets what he wants when he wants it.

>>48497558
Maybe the op is just polite, and is uncomfortable having to deal with a child being palmed off onto him. Maybe he came here to see if you guys had any helpful resolutions. Maybe you are an asshat.

>>48497376
There is a big difference between having a behavioral disability and just being a regular spoilt little shit.
Judging from your description of the kid and the mother not telling you otherwise, my money's on the latter.

The key here is to set clear rules and consequences.
Starting from the scenario explanation you should have put your foot down.and made it clear that he either pays attention or leaves the table.
And no second chances.

As someone with severe ADHD, he's just being a cunt.

A true ADHD (at least me) just babbled on all the time about random bullshit.

If he literally never shuts up that's ADHD, if he never shuts up about himself that's narcissism.

>>48497376
2 of my players (who happen to be identical twins, fucks my shit up hard because they wear the same clothes and shit) have ADHD and they can easily focus on the game.ADHD doesn't make it impossible to focus, just makes it very hard to focus on boring things, and makes them want to tap their feet or chew their nails all the time as well.

>>48497558
>You are under no obligation to baby sit.

The mother left after confirming the scheduled finish time of the game. I can see enough of an argument about him implicitly agreeing to babysit that I wouldn't be sure of the outcome if the argument got brought up in court. Even if I was sure of winning, I wouldn't want to get dragged into court on a child neglect charge.

Which means he was stuck for the kid for that session unless he wants the police to get involved.

>I want him to go without saying that there's a tangible problem with who he is.
That attitude is how toxic players remain toxic, jumping from group to group never knowing there is a problem they need to work on.

You need to tell him, or his mother, that he is too disruptive to remain in your game. That way, if he can improve, he might improve for the next group he tries to join.

>I'm fine with autistic people.
Autism is a spectrum. Some people with it are much worse than others. It sounds like you hit someone who was significantly worse than others you have met.

OP, as I see it you have two choices:
- Boot him and be done with it
- Tell him why you have a problem with him and give him another chance. One more session. If he doesn't improve enough, boot him.

Only take the second option if you are seriously considering keeping him.

As for the people suggesting you ask to be paid: Think about how your other players will react when they find out about the money. If I was ever in a game where the GM was being paid to keep a problem player in the game, I wouldn't be staying. I will not be using my free time to provide unpaid work for the GMs business.

>>48497376
I was doing Teaching Assitant work for a gifted kids programme for a week recently and there was an autistic kid there, about 10 years old. I found it best to just be firm with him if he got to rowdy. Just calmly tell him that he needs to quite down and it'll come to him in a few minutes, maybe give him soething to keep him distracted while he's not doing anything. I had the benefit that the kid was incredibly interested in the course he was doing though so I probably had it easier.

>>48497376

easy fix, tell the mother next time that she has to stay behind to help him

when she realises its going to be an effort on her part, she'll not bother.

>>48498041
No. Just tell her that the player isn't right for the game.

You can sacrifice yourself for others if you're feeling generous, OP.

But DO NOT sacrifice the fun of your players for an individual. You'll just lose the rest of your group, and that's not worth it.

>>48497376

man, this kid sounds exactly like ever mexican and japanese retard in los angeles

>>48497830
Not all ADHD guys are uncontrollably hyperactive dude.
I was remarkably well-behaved despite my rampant ADHD, and I saw kids like OP's that definitely were not ADHD, just cunts (just like you're saying), so I agree with you to a degree, but he could easily both be a cunt and also ADHD

He sounds neither autistic nor ADHD from your description OP

>>48498360
Quick note, an easy way to tell if you were misdiagnosed, like a multitude of children, or grew out of ADHD is whether or not stimulants, caffeine being the easiest to test with, cause you to gain energy, or if they help you focus.

>>48498401
They help me focus.

What does this mean?

>>48498401
Caffeine does both for me. What does that mean ?

>>48498404
That you actually have ADHD, the stimulant isn't providing the normal energy boost that the average person feels.
>>48498424
You either have a slight imbalance, probably not enough to be legitimately diagnosed, but easy to have misdiagnosed, or part of your lack of focus is lack of energy, and fixing A helped with B.

>>48498438
>or part of your lack of focus is lack of energy, and fixing A helped with B.
The only times I take caffeine* are when I'm adjusting to working night shift. Just the first week or so, after that I don't take any more.

So I'll go with this one.

*Partly because I can't stand the taste of coffee, partly because I avoid it so that it will work when I need it.

>>48498401
ADHD people can also have ADHD mixed with another personal disorder that is overlooked because of the ADHD diagnosis.

>>48498401
What if it does neither?

>>48498763
I always read this as ADND.

>>48498401
What does it mean if caffeine does absolutely nothing for you?

>>48498784
>>48498883
What happens when you stop drinking coffee ?

>>48497376
Kick 'em out. It's not your job to deal with that shit, and it's not the rest of your group's job either.

>>48497764
>Maybe the op is just polite
Or maybe he's a little bitch, and maybe you're a bitch enabler.

>>48497917
>Gifted kids
>Autism
Is that what we're calling them now? Gifted?

>>48498908
Neither of them, but absolutely nothing.

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>>48497688
>Webster's
lel

>>48498908
Nothing.

Actually, I take that back, without any dr pepper in the fridge I am slightly annoyed. And then once it comes back I relapse into about 5/day if I can get away with it, and have to force myself to drink less. But I suffer no actual ill effects from not drinking anything caffeinated for an extended period of time.

I tried stronger sources of caffeine when I was falling asleep in my classes in high school. Did nothing. Then again, absolutely nothing worked against that except trying to fight it with sheer willpower, but even then it didn't work well.

>>48498908

>>48498784 here.
Absolutely nothing, I don't regularly drink caffeinated beverages but when I do I feel neither effect. Same with energy drinks.

>>48498401
I was not misdiagnosed. I was diagnosed as an adult at the age of 21.
Ritalin is my sleep aid. I used to drink a cup of coffee in the evening to help me get ready for bed.

I am definitely ADHD. You can be ADHD and still be considered a good example of a well-behaved child, it just requires stricter parenting and the luckier kind of ADHD.

>>48498925
You can be gifted as well as autistic, Anon.

Plenty of highly intelligent people are infuriatingly incapable of otherwise "basic" stuff.

>>48499170
I can also have six fingers and no feet. That doesn't make me a sprinter.

Autism is an affliction for both the person who has it and everyone around them and if your trying to claim otherwise then you're either blind to it or lying.

>>48498925
nah programs like this include savant style kids. So effectively, kids who are so bored with what they are being taught that they actually stop learning. I was in something similar for alot of primary school. Probly cause I told a teacher they were an idiot for what they were teaching.
Don't try to make me do Brain Gym

>>48499216
I'm not sure what you're arguing.
A program for high IQ kids shouldn't allow high IQ kids with otherwise malfunctioning disorders?

He said there was AN autistic kid, not several. One autist in an entire class full of kid geniuses isn't strange.

I mean if you're arguing he shouldn't be put with the others I agree with you, but that's not what you said.


>>Gifted kids
>>Autism
>Is that what we're calling them now? Gifted?

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>>48499164
>I am definitely ADHD.
maybe you're CIA?

>>48498825
>Autism, Dungeons and Disorders

>>48499262
I'm saying that the vastly overwhelming majority of autistic kids are not gifted. Not even slightly.

The 1% that can do number tricks does not make up for the other 99% and change autism from an affliction to a super power.

And of that remaining 1% that can do a thing, and only that one thing, well it's usually something that has no useful or practical application.

They are not gifted and I take exception to them being called that.

>>48498925
>Is that what we're calling them now? Gifted?
Just to make things absolutely clear. Autism is a VERY broad and very generic category (so called "family resemblance category") that encompasses a massive variety of various symptoms and typologies of development disorders. Among those many, many categories (which still have a massive diagnosis problem, as there is still a HUGE disagreement between, say, neurologists and their definition of autism, and people like developmentary psychologists) is a category of so called "High-functioning autists".
Somewhat incorrectly, and I think largely due to the movie "Rainman" as well as disproportional media focus on rare and medially interesting cases, "high-functioning autists" have become sometimes identified as post-child of the disorder, and one of the first things people associate with the word.

High-functioning autists are sometimes refered to as "gifted", because they frequently excel at certain, usually very narrow set of tasks hugely above the general population. Incredible memory, incredible math skills, capability to categorize and classify things in fantastic speed and detail are common traits of high functioning autists. Many top-tier mathematicians have recruited from their ranks.
So that is what people usually think off when they speak of "gifted" autists.
They however represent an absolutely tiny minority in the entire sum of cases classified with autism. Absolute majority of autists actually don't exhibit cognitive hyperfunctionality, just various deficits.

The whole situation is not helped by the fact that frankly, autism has become then number one most commonly misdiagnosed condition in the world, actually overtaking ADHD in that regard during the last few years.

>>48499345
Dude, are you fucking dyslexic or something?
There was ONE autistic kid in an ENTIRE class for gifted children. He was gifted and autistic and neither had anything to do with the other trait.

His giftedness had NOTHING to do with his autism, they were separate traits

I'm not sure how I can make this clearer

>>48498915
Yeah i enabled your mum to eat this wiener

>>48499369
The ADHD thing wasn't helped by genuinely shitty parents and that whole "Indigo Child" thing that was in fashion a while back.

>>48499380
>Dude, are you fucking dyslexic or something?
Yes, actually.

>>48497376
Just talk to him about it calmly, ask him not to do stupid shit, and if he refuses or agrees and fails to actually do so, THEN boot him.

>>48499414
Well shit Anon, that explains it.

No one is calling sperglords gifted because they're autismos, so we're good, right?

>>48499331
>Advanced Degeneracy and Delusions

>>48499480
Yes. Sorry. I was an ass.

>>48499500
Nah, you're good Anon. We all make mistakes, and this is 4chan so no one can blame you for not triple checking the content of shitposts.

Stay cute, kouhai.

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>Parents have been convinced I have a behavioral disorder my whole life
>Friends have been convinced I have a behavioral disorder my whole life
>Never had any money to see a specialist

Nobody ever told me coffee wouldn't work on me. I drink it every morning, and it's 100% ritual by now.

>>48499238
I almost wish this would have happened to me as a kid. Personally, I'd polish off a semester's worth of work in two weeks, then spend the rest of class time drawing or slacking off - the prospect of getting to do that was what motivated me.

>>48499262
I'm the one who asked if that's what we're calling them. I was not the guy who replied to you.

>>48499536
I had that also in my shitty, shitty time in primary school.

Finish the work, sit down and rest. Then get yelled at by teacher for being lazy and not working.

Best was group activities that inflicted on us. EVERY FUCKING TIME I would get paired with the proto-jock. The lazy, arrogant, stupid popular kid whose one skill was "I can kick ball good". I would do all the work, frantically trying to hit the deadline and he would chat about sports with his equal on the other table occasionally paying attention to hinder. Then I would get yelled at for it being the worst bridge/tower/pyramid/whatever out of all the groups.

>>48498455
Coffee isnt the only source of caffeine.

>>48497830
There's two kinds of ADHD. The ADHD and the ADD kind. Kid was autistic though.

>>48497752
A family of ADHD. That is really sad man. Stop eating junkfood and watching too much tv, you'll be cured. Only a small handful of western nations recognize ADHD as a legitimate diagnosis. It was created by the pharm industry. Throw off those shackles anon.

>>48497376
As an adult with ADHD, that kid is poorly medicated. His parents aren't really doing their job, don't worry about it anon. Now, if that situation comes up in the future, it's real easy to keep those sorts of people on track. Give him something to fiddle with, or count, or organize in addition to including him in normal game processes. If he's super obsessed with gear, get him to draw what he wants his gear to look like, or create an elaborate backstory about how he got his gear. It's a pain in the ass, and these kind of people will demand attention, but like I said, you can buy a fiddley thing for like $5 that will calm people like that down a lot. Stress balls are nice too.

>>48497376
That sounds less like a behavioral disability and more like a spoiled shit who needs dad to put a belt to his ass.

>>48499529
This except that I've stopped caring. If I ever did see a specialist it would only be out of curiosity to see what they say. I'm pretty ok with my life and how I am.

>>48497376
>I'm fine with kids, I'm fine with autistic people. Perhaps I have a problem when it's both.
Autism is not the only cause of "I'm the most important person in the room." syndrome. You don't have a problem with autistic people or with kids, it sounds like you just have a problem with selfish assholes.

The solution here is the usual solution: talk to him, tell him specifically what the problem is, and what you need him to do to fix it. Then, if he doesn't shape up and you have to kick him out, you can do so without any guilt.

So this seems to be the thread where we discover that all of /tg/ is mentally ill.

>>48498915
Your /b/ is showing really hard right now.
He's trying to find a way to tell an autistic child he can't play this game he's already led to believe he can. If you see no problem with telling a child that his head's broken and he's not welcome anymore, maybe you also have autism.

>>48501312
You might have clicked the wrong link. Here:
>>48500922

You aren't the bad guy in this situation, OP. The kid's mom is.

She knows her kid is impossible to deal with. That why she dropped him off with a stranger and left. She just wanted away from him.

Women do this all the time. You are not qualified to look after the kid and you need to just tell the mom that. Next time they show up, just ask to talk to the mom privately and explain to her that the kid isn't old enough for the game.

If she makes a stink about it, just cancel the session, contact your other players, and find a new time or place to play.

She knows exactly what she's doing. She getting an afternoon off for free. He's her kid, if she wants someone to take care of him, there are people whose job that is. And THEY can play DND with the kid. Since that's their job.

I have ADHD and mild low-functioning autism and that sounds exactly like how I acted when I was a little shit.
What you need to do is just fucking lie to him. Don't say he's not old enough or he'll ask how old you have to be, then wait exactly that long and come back.
Just tell him you have too many players and picked X random ones from a hat to send off. It's the only way; if he has even the slightest clue he's being kicked out for being an autistic retard he's gonna blow his brains out thinking about the cringe years down the road. If need be make yourself look like the asshole since he's gonna want someone to blame and you're the only stranger in the situation. It may sound shitty but leaving him mad is way better than sad.

Also >>48501806

>>48497376
>I was a little light on players so I accepted new ones who just walked in. One of them was a child with their mother, who then left and came back when the game was scheduled to be done.
Why are you babysitting a kid in that store? How old was he?

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>>48497677
>>48497629
>be balls deep in the mom
>autist walks in after 5 minutes
>'IT'S MY TURN'

>>48497376
Just tell the mom that her kid was disruptive to the game and you're no longer going to accept him in it.

Be firm. Threaten the kid with throwing him out if he doesn't straighten up.

Autistics are best treated harshly but fair. An autistic friend had his mother using her dog-training skills on him, and he's the most well adjusted autistic I know. Mostly because she actually told him when he did something wrong.

>>48501312
This is a surprise to you?

>>48502655
/thread

>>48497376

OP, here is whats going on.

The kid has autism, not ADHD. The problem is that he is a kid with autism, not an adult. He hasn't had time or practice to mature yet, to learn how to function in a social setting.

The behavior your described reeks of someone with what used to be classified as Asperger's and hasn't figured out how to deal with it.

He keeps talking about Fallout and the phone game because that's what he likes. Its very common for people with aspergers to have a narrow focus of interest, a handful of things that they are very interested in, and to try and discuss those topics with others ignoring social ques. Partly because he has nothing else to talk about (limited experience), and partly because due to his lack of social skills he never has a willing audience to talk about his favorite things with elsewhere.

He keeps asking you how to craft whatever because crafting games are probably the most common type of RPG he has been exposed to, at least enough that it defines his default assumptions for how an RPG works. He thinks he is supposed to be playing minecraft.

The video game focus also explains why he tries to make things about him. If he is playing an RPG, that makes him the main character. He is the player, so why isn't all this stuff about him?

[cont]

>>48503283

The good news is that all of this behavior is fixable. I recognize a lot of this because I hit a lot of these same notes when I was younger I'm considered high-functioning now, but that wasn't always the case. And for his sake, I encourage you to give him another try. DnD did wonders for my social skill and personal growth to deal with AS because it forced me to sharpen my social skill, teamwork ability, and to learn how to pretend to be other people. Skills that I used to eventually LARP as a normal person in everyday life.

He wants to be liked, but he makes decisions based on the assumptions that you think the same way he does. That will never be the case, and that gets him into trouble.

The key to dealing with him is to be direct. Assume that any kind of subtext or inexplicit ques will be lost on him until proven otherwise. He isn't ignoring you, he likely never realized what you were trying to communicate at all.

So be very clear. If he is being rude, just flat out tell him so. "Brian, you are being an asshole."

Just make sure you tell him this in a level tone. Do not yell at him, or come off as angry. Your goal isn't to punish him or scare him, its to let him know he is being an asshole. He might ask how he is being in asshole, but there is a very real chance that this is NOT deflecting behavior. He honestly might not know what he was doing wrong. If you tell him, chances are good he will make an effort to avoid doing that again in the future.

Presuming, of course, he wants to play ball. There is nothing you can do for someone who doesn't want to improve. But a little patience, and some clear language, can do absolute wonders for a kid with AS that simply doesn't know what he is doing wrong or why no one likes him.

Depending on his age, he might not even be diagnosed yet. HE might not know he has Aspergers.

>>48503039
Honestly, all kids should be treated that way.

There is literally nothing wrong with training your child properly. It is a great shame of our society that we scold people for being good parents.

>>48503379
Maybe don't call the little kid an asshole though. That may be a bit much. But yes, be direct and don't sugarcoat things.
This fixes a lot of situations, even with people who don't have a disorder.

>>48503379
>HE might not know he has Aspergers.
Actually now that I think about it, 4chan probably has WAY more experience with mental disorders than just about any other segment of the population.

It's kinda funny how most of us are basically experts at catching autistic behaviour within seconds of seeing a person.

Experience truly does make the master

>>48500369
Nice meme, /pol/

>tfw my tourrettes makes it hard to find a group because of vocal tics.

>>48497830
That kinda depends on the kid, desu. From what I've seen, people with ADHD tend to either have trouble focusing on anything, or they hyperfocus on a couple specific things. This kid sounds like the latter.

>>48503455
>in a decade, 5 years of shitposting on 4chan will be required for a degree in psychology pertaining to mental illness

>>48503455

Imagine you live in a world taken over by pod people.

They look like people. They move like people. But the way they talk, they act, they THINK... its totally alien. Every time you think you have them figured out, you have it wrong. And sometimes they do insane, dangerous things for reasons you cannot fathom. You just don't want them to do it to you.

But eventually you learn to pretend to be like them enough that you can blend in with them in a crowd. You fake a smile like their weird pod person smile, and you walk like they do, and it means they don't point at you and making that unholy screeching noise that outs you as not a pod person.

And then, one day, you see someone sitting on the bench. Smiling their pod person smile... but you can tell its fake. They are faking just like you. Another sane person trapped in this world of pod people. And they see you, and they can tell you are faking too. And you understand so, so much about them in that brief contact because they are just like you.

That's what its like when two people on the autistic spectrum run into each other.

>>48503671
but in this analogy, I am one of the pod people
R-right?

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>>48503671
Wow, that got me right in the feels. That's exactly why I still post here after so many years. I always wondered why, but you nailed it.

>>48503688
No anon, the pod people are normies.

>>48503749

Maybe he is a neurotypical. Lots of people on /tg/ are NTs. We may have a higher than normal residence of people on the spectrum, but its hardly unanimous.

>>48503787
>being NT automatically makes you a normie
It's a requisite to be one, but not the sole requirement.

>>48503787
No anon, posting on /tg/ longer than a month is probably a medical diagnosis. Admittedly, it's one of the more well adjusted boards, but normal people don't post here. They don't know or care that we exist.

>>48503379
Well said.
He only knows what he's been exposed to, and D&D doesn't have many widely-available similarities for him to compare it to.

It's a cooperative game, focusing on the team instead of the individual, and that can take a little bit to get used to.

I've found that it helps if you do a "No chit-chatting during combat rounds. After the round is over, you can talk and discuss theories and ideas, but once the next round starts, you gotta be quiet. If you HAVE to talk, keep it quiet enough that I can't understand you." setup. If it's completely silent except for the person taking their turn, it can get kinda boring for everyone else, and nobody really likes forced silence. Reduced talking, though, gives a solid rule with fairly easily defined parameters.

Might help, might not.

>>48502655
Under rated post

I honestly don't think that ADHD is actually a legitimate disorder, but rather a side effect of the modern lifestyle. We live in an age where we constantly have the means to entertain ourselves any time any where with cellphone and video games. We are in a state of stimulus pretty much every hour that we're awake, especially children who have huge amounts of free time. Now, that stimulus is like a drug, it just feels plain wrong not to have it. We as emotionally mature and somewhat disiplined adults know how to cope with it. Even I admit to getting a little antsy when I'm not actively participating in the RP, but I can deal with it. Kids don't have this disipline, so they seek the stimulus any way that they can get it. Hence the kid who is unable to stay on-topic. Another contributor to this problem is parenting. The parents probably don't tell him to put the damn phone down and go outside enough like mine did. They quickly learned that when they try this, they have to deal with the annoying little shit thag he is, and it's much easier to let him sit down play his vidyas. It's a vicious cycle, and also a contributor to obesity to boot.

Autism, on the other hand, I can't say. That, I do believe in.

So, TL;DR don't invite a kid if you're not prepared to deal with stupid shit.

>>48497376
Give the kid another shot. I work and play with a lot of people who have ADD, ADHD, Aspergers or Autism, and while most outwardly act like shits they're generally very nice once you get to know them.

The main problem is that people either kick them to the curb and they don't understand anything wrong with their behavior, treat them like babies or severely handicapped people, or ignore them altogether.

If you explain the circumstances to the mom, she will totally understand, she did raise the kid afterall. Tell her you'll try to work with him to stay on topic and be polite, but also a stern word from her on the way to games might help him get what the issue is. So long as the other people playing understand what's happening and are open to help, you have an oppurtunity to do some real good with this kid. Maybe find out next time he's coming and get some nice vet players to help him through while still being stern on him behaving.

You have a shot to help this kid out, OP. If you play your cards right, you can help him develop some valuable social skills that'll help him for the rest of his life. It won't be easy, I guarantee, and lesser players may not want to help, but if you suffer through you can live knowing you made a difference for a group that barely gets the help it needs. Go for it man

>>48497677
No, fuck you, that's not okay. Where the fuck is the payment for the players time that's getting wasted putting up with a potato? They might not want him there at all, and the DM accepting payments to waste other peoples times is just a fuck you to them.

OP, you might think you're being nice to one tard, but you're probably making your long-time friends suffer for the sake of sympathey. Kick the potato out.

>>48502655
I laughed harder than I should have.

>>48504289

Naw, give the kid another chance. If he doesn't shape up with some tough love and the suggestions other anons have given, then boot him.

>>48498401
There is ADHD hyperactive. Which is the most well known. Then you have ADHD innattentive; which use to be known as ADD before the medical term was changed. ADHD-I are more introverted, and have trouble keeping focused, and organized. They tend to daydream instead of bouncing off the walls like those with ADHD-Hyper pulsive.

>>48500369
Oh, you're one of those people who disregard the last decade of, and really the only, advancements in understanding the brain.
People like you bother me. You implicitly believe in some disorders like schizophrenia, but anything past the year 1995 (you know, when we actually began developing technology to map out the most complicated thing in the known universe: the human brain), you just chalk up to "ur dad didn't hit u enough".

I'm not gonna tell you that ADHD isn't over-diagnosed, but it's that way with nearly every single new behavioral disorder, considering they are just starting to be noticed and documented. Just because it's over-diagnosed doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

>>48501035
I've managed to get myself right. I'm nearly 30, and it took some time, but I have my shit under control. But, it took a LOT of extra effort to figure it out, since I had to figure out how to do all of it in my own, unique way. I didn't really believe I /wasn't/ an idiot until I put myself through an EMT course.
If I were to see a specialist, it would be to get adderall. I know it's every speed freak's favorite, but I pop a 30 and all it does is make me feel, you know, like a normal person who's thought process isn't flickering.

>>48503787
I am neurotypical apart from my ADHD and formerly, major depressive disorder


every shrink I've ever had a conversation with always started with asking leading questions that I could immediately tell were pointing towards autism though

>>48504096
>I don't believe something you can literally look at an MRI and see with your own eyes

Anon, come on. You're posting a tired meme that makes no sense.

The simple fact that ADHD people respond vastly differently to stimulant medication than any other segment of the population should be indicative of there being a common trait among these people. Does it have to be named ADHD? No, but then you'd be arguing semantics.

ADHD is a stupid name for it anyway, as it's an executive function disorder, not a deficit in attention.

>>48505431
This. You give a NT person speed, and they bounce off the walls and can't shut the fuck up. You give an ADHD person speed, and they turn into a superhero.

Here, I'll try and explain some of what myself and my ADHD (and astrophysicist) best friend have described it as.

Imagine you're facing a blank, white wall with a florescent light behind you. And while staring at this wall, you try to imagine a complex image. It can be a painting, or a person's face, what have you, but you're trying to image the most detailed version of it you can.

Now every few seconds (between say, 5-30, so that it's impossible to find a rhythm), the light flickers. Sometimes so slightly that you almost can't tell if it was your imagination, and sometimes so badly that you can't help but acknowledge it. But the one constant thing is that it WILL flicker, and every single time it does, you need to start that fucking image from scratch.

You can never turn around and look at the light. You can never fix the light. You can never truly ignore the flickering of the light. Even when you're sitting there, thinking "hey, I did really well for a while and didn't even think about that annoying flickering light", you've forgotten all about your picture without even realizing it.

It really fucking sucks, and the least you guys can do is stop telling us we didn't get hit enough. I got hit a lot and it didn't fucking help.

What i would do is something of the latter, but have some exeptions

>>48497376
This is one of the big reasons not to run a game at a store

>>48497376
>today I sat down to run my weekly game of D&D at a local store.

stopped reading there. why do that to yourself?

I pass by my flgs all the time and the people there are 99% of the time mongs.

even worse is that i'm pretty sure they're all magic mongs too

>>48497376
I used to work in a Games Workshop. Mothers would do this shit ALL the TIME. We'd tell them we weren't a daycare and we weren't paid for little 10 year old Timmy to sit in the store all day talking about whatever the fuck. Usually, they'd respond by dropping Timmy off at the MALL instead of the store, so we never even got to SEE the mom. Store managers response was eventually to tell the kid to kick rocks for six hours around the mall, because he couldn't stay at the store.

You have a similar right (replace store with game). You are not this kids special ed teacher, or daycare operator, or fuck, even a store employee. You're here to have fun, not cater to The Amazing 12-year-old Autismo. And so is the rest of the group. Next time, just throw up the 'No Kids" rules, and break it if you think the kid can be well behaved.

>>48499391
>eat his weiner
Who the fuck talks like this?
People really talk like this?

>weiner
Only children call it this.

>eat
This word choice makes my brain go to cannibalism, not oral sex.

Serious question: are you like 6 years old? Are you just learning English?

>>48505805
>Serious question: are you like 6 years old?

Are you? It's clear as day that the poster was shitposting with a weak "ur mum lol" shitpost. I'm mildly bemused that anyone in shitpost central would even dignify that with a response.

>>48497376
That sounds like a shitshow. Even an autist is something I'd be wary of just because they're prone to craziness. If I knew the kid it'd be 1 thing but I wouldn't let some rando autist and certainly not some kiddie into the circle.

Although I have run a couple games for kids before at my local game store but that's a different thing entirely.

>>48505666
That sounds like some sort of demented psychological torture setup, satan

>>48505847
I would have simply ignored it but for the phrase "eat his weiner", which elicited a "what the fuck is this" response.

>>48504096
So you're saying that a chemical imbalance in the brain... doesn't exist.

Getting antsy when not actively involved is normal - we're wired to be doing *something*, whatever that something may be.

That doesn't change the fact that coffee likely wakes you up, as do other caffeinated drinks. That Ritalin, Adderal, Focalin, and similar prescriptions would cause you to be more energetic.
For people with ADHD, those stimulants act similarly to sedatives. Instead of hyping them up, they calm them down.

Your claiming that ADHD doesn't exist is saying that a number of studies are faked, and that my brain chemistry doesn't work the way it does, despite my personal experience.

>>48505666
Those effects you speak of are actually caused by overdose and many people who abuse speed do that since they're looking for euphoria rather than to improve their function. Speed in same medical does improve focus in healthy individuals and make them function better. It's regularly used by military, including pilots (sort of people who couldn't afford to be bouncing around and no, they don't have ADHD) for this reason.

It's just that public image of NT person on speed is some sad junkie instead of nightly truck driver, special forces soldier, fighter pilot or Wall Street businessman.

>>48506010
Surely you are aware that's not a diagnostic requirement for ADHD and the fact many who have ADHD symptons that are treatable by stimulants do also get extra energy from them? I personally would argue that sedative effect from stimulants might something else than ADHD itself since there isn't direct link. It does seem to occur at greater frequency in individuals with ADHD, so it's likely related (possibly same genetic triggers behind it for example), but it's not universal to ADHD cases.

>>48506154
It acts like a sedative for people with ADHD, but acts normally for people with ADD - at least in my experience. There may be people with more minor cases of ADHD that are mostly unaffected.

>>48498401

Quick note for everyone using this one simple trick: It's basically absolutely 100% correct, here's why:

The current theory on ADHD isn't that your mind is hyperactive, but rather the activity is depressed.

You ever doze off sitting up and then jerk awake? That's what the brain of someone with ADHD is doing. Jerking awake because it thinks it's alseep, resulting in attention hopping around like it's on speed.

However, with the introduction of actual speed, the energy is up, and you stop 'jerking' awake.

>>48506768
Psych bachelor here with ADD.

The way it was explained to me was that (ADD at least) your brain doesn't do so well at separating what you're focusing on from the background noise, and that it can't tell that the background noise is unimportant.

Ritalin makes everything seem more important, but has a large effect on what you're focusing on than in background noise.

This makes ADD people better able to focus, and regular people hyper focused.

I've gone most of my life without ritalin. Didn't like it. I prefer my nonchemical coping mechanisms.

Mostly results in me keeping tons of to do lists in a pocket notepad and a daily journal, and checking them very regularly, so i can stay in task and remember to get shit done.

A friend doesn't like what they do to his personality, so he only took them during exam season.

>>48506764
Personally, I had very hyperactive ADHD in childhood that evolved into ADD when I grew up. Got medications as adult after ADD kicked in so I can't say how they would have affected me as child, but currently they definitely don't make me tired.

Funny thing though is that Dexedrine (pure dextroamphetamine) makes me really sedated and sleepy, but caffeine, Ritalin and Adderall gives energy.

>>48506848
As for ADHD, that one I'm less familiar with.

>>48506848
As ADD, I think stimulants are good to have as an option, but you're totally right about them not being suited for every day usage or every kind of situation. It's also very unhealthy for your heart since they wreak havoc on blood pressure. They might feel fine at first, but if you do them for years daily it can cause Not to mention that tolerance to effects that improve focus develops pretty quickly and then you have no other option than to increase dosage (which is even more unhealthy) or take a break. Good thing is that they cause no real withdrawal (atleast for me, but I haven't heard anyone else having such either) though.

>>48507001
I know people who go through caffeine withdrawal and get bad headaches if they skip their regular fix.

For me I just start craving pop.

>>48507025
Personally I literally experience nothing when I withdraw from caffeine. Same applies to most of people I know, but I know also types that get headaches or other bad symptoms.

Funniest thing though is that I know some people who have quit smoking with literally no withdrawals, but for me nicotine causes extreme witdrawals. Luckily there are healthier ways to take nicotine without smoking, so it doesn't worry me much that I'm addicted to it.

Human neurology is very diverse indeed. Hell, I've known guys that actually actually get stimulated from sleeping.

>>48507173
I spend all day exhausted with less than 8h of sleep and don't feel well rested unless I get at least 9. It's not even worth going to bed if i won't get 5.

Meanwhile, i have friends who are incredibly groggy if they sleep more than 6.

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Bang his mom, OP.

>>48497376
>Disruptive players will be removed from the game

>>48507217
I meant sleeping pills though. Just forgot to type "pills" there because I'm tired. I could blame my ADD and the fact t haven't taken stims for a while, but not gonna go that low.

>>48506868
Fair enough.
Different stimulants affect people differently. Haven't come across the Dexedrine one before... kinda neat.

>>48498401
>>48506768
>>48506848
I'm probably late and most/all of you have likely left by now, but I've never been to a doctor about my behavior since I never thought it was a big deal, but does this raise any flags/should I mention it to a doctor?
For a start, the caffeine making me focussed thing is definitely true, my grades in mock exams went from a D to an A depending on whether I had a couple cups of tea first.
But it's just occurred to me that if I'm listening to music or otherwise daydreaming, I'll get really into it and if I'm not in public my arms/legs start to make the movements I'm imagining. Occasionally I also make sound effects, but quietly.
This actually sounds a lot worse now that I'm typing it all out.

>>48507394
What you're receiving sounds pretty similar to me. I've got ADD, but I don't take anything for it.

I've got a bit of a rep for being fidgety and unable to stay still for long periods of time though.

Not a huge deal, but you could talk to your doctor and see what they think.

That hyper lad needs a stern fatherly figure who calls him out on his bullshit bad behavior. Either be that wise and stern old Dungeon Master or kick him out.

I was running demo games and tourneys at a small local Con and felt with a few of these lost boys. I 48 year old retired Marine Master Sgt. While my beard shaved for many years is now long and graying and my belly not as flat but I can still be a hard ass if necessary w/o completely over doing it since he is still a kid.

>>48497376
What you need to do is be forward with him about his behavior, and what is expected of him as a player in your group.

He is NOT to use his phone when at the game table unless he is contacted by a parent, or as part of an emergency (suggest that he set a unique ringtone for his mom and dad, so he knows to ignore it if it's just this friends pestering him).

He needs to accept that everyone gets their own turn in the spotlight. He will get his, but he will not be the star, nor will it be tolerated if he disrupts another player's enjoyment because he is growing bored.

He needs to learn the basic rules by heart. More advanced rules like crafting or spellcasting can be given a bit of wiggle-room, but suggest that he takes some index cards or a sheet of paper, and writes out a summary of rules he has trouble remembering, so that he knows the general gist of them, and others can help him with the minute details as he continues to learn them over time.

He can talk, but make clear the difference between in-game, out-of-game, and meta talking. Lay down expectations for each of these, when they are okay, and when they are not.

Make sure all members of the group adhere to these rules, be consistent and fair in applying these rules in the group (don't only single him out by ignoring if someone else bends a rule), and tell him that if he can play with your group if he wants to, but that in return you expect him to meet your standards. If he wants to play with the adults, he needs to act like one. Let him know that if he cannot do this, you will ask him to leave.

>>48503671

Oh God I understood all of that.

Am I autistic?

>>48508010

Depends. Do you feel like a logic machine trapped in a world of chaos?

>>48508062

Where nothing makes sense and people do stupidly irrational shit all the time, yes. I mean shit I'm not perfect or anything but should I see a doctor?

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>>48508062
I feel like this all the fucking time.

>drive up to a light to turn left, the light has been yellow for too long and I can't go through
>wait an entire traffic light
>right before the light changes, 10,000 cars pull up to the light going the opposite way
>I now have to wait through 2 traffic lights while everyone else gets to go first even though I was waiting far longer than any of them
or
>I have to wait until the light is yellow to turn, only to have some jackass speed through the red light and almost hit me

>go grab a hamburger
>specifically ask for what I want, which I know is simple and reasonable because I worked in fast food
>take my food, tip for future service, go home
>get home and my food is totally different than I fucking requested

>go to walmart in a hurry, need to pick up a few things
>people are standing in the middle of the foyer having a conversation about something stupid
>have to awkwardly squish passed
>they shoot me dirty looks, as if I was the one in the wrong

>walking in a big crowd of people
>some jackass starts doing something on their phone, stops a whole group of people they're walking with
>I'm trying to hold back homicidal rage as I have to awkwardly shuffle around these illogical bumble fucks doing god knows what

>go wait in line at a store to purchase something simple, like bread or a snack
>after about two people, some fucker starts couponing and arguing over 30 cents
>I can't leave the line I'm in because people are behind me
>I can also see the other lines moving visibly faster
>get to the till, attempt to pay for my shit
>the cashier is all pissed off because of the couponer and takes it out on me

>driving on a 2 lane highway
>no one around whatsoever
>I'm comfortably driving 10km over the speed limit to appear like a normal
>some asshole comes flying out of nowhere and rides my ass forever, despite no oncoming traffic
>when they finally change lanes, they cut in front of me without signaling

>>48508089

Its not exactly life threatening. So long as you don't has bouts of depression stemming from your inability to function socially with others because they seem to be speaking a double language where nothing they say is actually what they mean? You should be fine.

If that strikes kind of close to home, then it might be worth seeking a diagnosis. But if you are already an adult, chances are you have managed to cope. Unless you are totally not, in which case your life is probably a mess and you are lonely as shit.

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>>48508255
>So long as you don't has bouts of depression stemming from your inability to function socially with others because they seem to be speaking a double language where nothing they say is actually what they mean? You should be fine.
>If that strikes kind of close to home, then it might be worth seeking a diagnosis. But if you are already an adult, chances are you have managed to cope. Unless you are totally not, in which case your life is probably a mess and you are lonely as shit.

>>48497850
weeeew

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>>48502655
My sides

>>48508211
Continued because I'm mad about a lot of things and it's probably healthy for me to vent.

>go pick my girlfriend up from work
>I love talk radio, which already is weird, she hates it
>automatically turns it to something I hate the second she gets in the car
>even though I've specified channels that don't make me mad
>even though I bubble up like a fucking crock pot the second I have to listen to some idiot sing a slow sad song or some trendy catchy bullshit
>yells at me for being angry at the previous bullshit I've posted in conjunction with her fuckery
>I just have to take it and pretend like she's saying something interesting or meaningful

>wandering around the mall
>all the music is slow sappy and repetitive
>there are fucking 10 million hours of good listenable music out there, and I have to listen to that fucking Bad Day song, or that Because I'm Happy one six times

>go to my lgs to stare into their showcases at various magic cards I want
>some jackass is chatting with the owner about nothing in particular
>for half a fucking hour
>and I don't know whether I can interrupt them or not because they're laughing and it looks like they're having a good time, even though I want to throw money at cardboard

>schedule an appointment somewhere
>show up 15 minutes early just to make sure I'm not late
>some chuckle fuck takes way longer than they should, and/or shows up late so I'm stuck in purgatory for an hour for no logical reason

>go to the airport
>flight departs at a specific time
>show up early to make sure I can clear customs and be there for that specific time
>the fucking flight is delayed for 5 hours because of "weather"
>it's perfectly sunny outside

>talking to a middle aged person about anything
>they say something about "kids these days are so lazy and entitled"
>I have five years of education including two post-graduate certificates and I work 10 hour days pressure washing while they barely graduated community college

>>48505805
Yeah I'm 6. 6 inches deep in your mother senpai.

>>48508211

>have to wait through 2 traffic lights

WTF? Is my America showing, or does anon not know how to drive?

>>48508375
Boy, you hit nearly every nail on the head that makes me mad. Especially the fast food order one. How hard is it to just make what i asked and paid for.

>>48497558
>you arent allowed to complain about traditional games problems on a traditional games board

You impressed exactly no one with this post. Go fuck off to a quest thread or better yet, get the fuck off this board.

>>48508432
>My penis size?
>It's just above average
>Pretty impressive, huh?

I'm sure all the girls are kicking down your door just dying to slob that knob.

>>48508481
>you pull up to a light that turns red
>you have to wait for it to turn green again
>you have to wait for cars to pass until it turns rad again
That's what I meant by 2 lights. I'm a ludicrously safe driver, to the point that I intentionally violate the speed limit to be safer and go with the speed of traffic.

>>48508490
The worst part is, if you ever bring back your food, they have an attitude about them. I understand it's a giant pain in the ass, I didn't want to do it in the first place, but at that point it's more the principle of the thing than the thing itself.

Thanks for seeing where I was coming from, I feel much better now.

>>48497376
The parent was a fucking prick for dumping the kid on a stranger.

>>48508282

Uh... glad I could help?

>>48508532
Well your mum is for sure.

>>48508560
Cannot deal with that attitude man. As a chef its my core role to do everything i can to ensure the customer has a pleasant experience. So when i see some snotty little punk getting mad at me because of their own screw up it pushes me over the edge.

>>48508282
>>48508255
Pretty sure my dad's on that spectrum.

He takes everything literally and has no idea when people are lying.

I'm neurotypical, aside from ADD.

But i get along with autistic people pretty well. Assuming they have proper hygiene (even if they don't understand why it matters), people who are literal like autists are relaxing to be around.

I mean, I understand subtext just fine, but autists tend to be pretty straight and to the point, which I have always found refreshing.

>>48508490
>Especially the fast food order one. How hard is it to just make what i asked and paid for.

You don't have to chop, grate, or make anything, you just put together a ready-to-make sandwich, and set it to heat up for a few seconds. Then put it in an auto-folding box, and hand it to me.

I don't actually get all that upset unless they try to argue that their job is hard and/or they get pissy with me for calling them out on half assing what is an easy job. That's when my mood actively sours.

>>48508211
>>48508375
That's not being an autist, that's just finding stupid people frustrating. I could relate to many of those things.

>>48508211
>>48508375

Ladies and gentlemen, 4chan.

>>48508616
Holy fuck, how do you do it? I know so many servers and I've watched so much kitchen nightmares I don't think I could do it. You bust your balls to cook exactly what was requested of you, and some jackass waitress didn't write things down correctly, then blames you for it when she gets up to the table so she gets better tips. Or worse, you cook up a beautiful meal, put it up to be taken out, and the server fucks off for a smoke break, your food gets cold, then she serves it anyways and bitches at you for it being cold. Or even worse than that, the manager comes to bitch at you, even though you're doing your job perfectly and they have the kitchen competency of a large hemorrhoid, then lecture you on something you do fine every single time because they're afraid of yelp reviews.

You have my respect and admiration chef anon.

>>48508577

You did help, you did, just fuck, man. Like I'm an adult and my life isn't a COMPLETE mess but I only have a few close friends and it took me a long time to learn how to interact with people without just failing horribly.

>>48508375
>You're being as irrational as her

>the music chosen in malls and stores is scientifically proven to effect your buying habits

>just say excuse me and ask for what you want, store owners are always going to prioritize paying customers

>you don't know that other persons situation maybe someone just died, you're going to have to wait sometimes

>the weather where you're going is probably the issue

>"kids these days are so lazy and entitled" is literally what every generation has said about the next generation, your parents did it, you'll do it, your children's children's children will do it.

>>48497660

Found the autist.

>>48508720
This is the thing anon, I know I'm irrational. I recognize what makes me irrational. I even have strategies for dealing with the rage associated with being irrational. The problem is, I conflate everything into a giant elaborate conspiracy where the world is actively trying to screw me over when rules aren't followed, which I know is ridiculous, but it happens anyways. I don't follow rules because I like them, I follow rules because it comes with the implicit promise that by following all the rules, people will leave me alone and the world will be a rational place. I know it will never be a rational place, but I can't rationalize living rationally in an irrational world, even through the lens of post-modern art, so I just pretend things are fine then yell about sports and magic later on.

With my girlfriend, you're right. It's stupid and ridiculous, but the problem isn't music, it isn't even music she likes, it's music on 3 particular radio stations that I dislike because they sink up and I wind up listening to that one "What do you mean" justin beiber song far more than a rational human should. What's wrong with the classical station or the classic rock station, or the jazz station ect.

Thanks though, I appreciate you trying to help.

>>48508695
For an autistic person, the feeling of irritation is a bit different, I've personally found.

It's not just "oh man, that person was an asshole," or "man, this irritates me." These things defy your own sense of reason and inner logic. That sort of stuff gnaws at you.

It's the sort of thing you probably felt as a kid when a kid in class breaks a rule and isn't punished by the teacher, but when you do it, you are called out, punished, and when you ask why the other kid didn't get the same treatment gets you in extra trouble for talking back. It feels completely lopsided, not in your favor, and you don't always understand why you're the one getting burned.

For >>48508375
the thing with his girlfriend might hinge on why someone that supposedly loves him would actively and knowingly do something that she knows will upset him. He seems to have listed stations he is okay with, which suggests he is okay with her changing the station to something else, but asks that she doesn't select a few specific ones. But she still picks the shitty stations, even though she knows.

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>>48502655

>>48508905
>It's the sort of thing you probably felt as a kid when a kid in class breaks a rule and isn't punished by the teacher, but when you do it, you are called out, punished, and when you ask why the other kid didn't get the same treatment gets you in extra trouble for talking back. It feels completely lopsided, not in your favor, and you don't always understand why you're the one getting burned.
Holy fuck, you just summarized my entire life. I feel like that all the time and I have to rationalize that people aren't maliciously fucking with me, they may just be clumsy or preoccupied. Still, your understanding is uncanny.

>>48508793
I have now decided that i want my radio actually replaced with an mp3 player. I was on the fence, but now I'm sold.

Fuck the radio.

>>48508951
You will never regret this decision. I listen to the radio far too much and I can only think of 3 half-decent songs in the past calendar year. That being said, talk radio is a treat. Where I live, CBC does this thing where they bring in famous classical musicians to talk about their favorite works and why they're their favorite. Also, they have a whole bunch of snide middle-brow comedies that are always good for a chuckle. Outside of that, I agree with you 110%.

>>48508905
I remember that feeling when i was a kid. The worst times are when i got punished for something i Didn't do because someone else (typically a sibling) lied.

I didn't normally but them, but under those circumstances? I'd hurt them proportionally to how severely i was being punished. Because of their lies.

When my parents freaked out, I'd state that i tried being reasonable but was ignored by them , and if i was to be punished i was damn well going to deserve it.

I can't imagine having to deal with shit like that regularly as an adult, you're right. That sounds terrible.

>>48509016
Didn't normally hit them *

>>48508949
I'm a different anon than the one you were talking to. Diagnosed with Asperger's since high school.

I don't have it as bad as some folks I've encountered (college was full of awful spergs that made me look 100% normal in comparison), but much to my chagrin I get a lot of normal folks telling me "you're a lot like that guy from Big Bang Theory! XD"

I try to keep in mind that most of my issues are based on how I'm misinterpreting things happening around me, rather than it being actively malicious intent on the part of someone else, but sometimes you just slip up and expose yourself as a sperg.

>>48509118
How do you deal with it? Honestly, I want to smash my car into oncoming traffic every single day, and I'm much better now than when I was 16-19. I'm just filled with inconsolable emptiness and rage; it's overwhelming. I escape into drugs, or into hobbies and I'm so thankful I built a good relationship with my family, so I won't do anything stupid, but I worry about it. If there are some good coping strategies I'll try just about anything, I've recently become quite physically active and I eat pretty darn healthy.

>>48508793

This is a really good description of borderline stuff; aspergers at the very worst, but definitely borderline. The issue isn't that you don't like the music, or that rules are broken or maintained. It's how you respond. How is living 'rationally' in an irrational world *actually* rational? What even defines rational at that point? If the world is, itself, at its core, an irrational place (and trust me, it is) how is rigid, unflagging adherence to 'logic' actually a rational response? The answer is, just like for every one else, 'it works for me'.

Autism is best described, I think, as a hyper-focused and sensitive pattern finding ability. The autistic have a very, very easy time finding and establishing patterns. The conflict comes from the fact that those patterns, because they are so easily identified, seem very basic, concrete and real. They just seem like how things Are. This is a normal human thing, and every one dose it to one degree or another. People on the autism spectrum, though, establish patterns more quickly and those patterns gel as 'reality' even more quickly. For most people, those patterns you are seeing barely exist. Stuff just kinda happens and you roll with it. You can predict some stuff relatively well, but even that isn't super reliable. The capabilities of a human brain vary WILDLY between specific brains, and there is no single instance, quality, or genetic array that will guarantee the same result for different people (or, frequently, for the same person).

>>48509262
>If the world is, itself, at its core, an irrational place (and trust me, it is) how is rigid, unflagging adherence to 'logic' actually a rational response?
I think it's explicitly an irrational faith-based response. You're right, I do it because it works for me. I don't jay walk because when I don't jay walk I don't get honked at by cars, even though there are lots of times that are more convenient, and even more rational, to cross the street elsewhere. I tried that whole nihilism philosophy phase as a teenager and wound up with an addiction to self-mutilation that escalated to the point of no return. After that, I spent some time in school learning about philosophy and politics. I eventually came to the conclusion that I'd rather live a noble lie than confront an empty truth because it's more socially productive, and I think that's the part I have difficulty reconciling. I guess I just want to make sense of an inherently nonsensical landscape, and the more sense I make of it, the less it actually makes sense in the context of interacting with the world around me. Hmm that's a thinker anon, thanks!

>>48497688
Naw, man. All I, can aff,ord is the knockoff, version.

Wobstre's.

Spergling here, >>48508905 description of how we (or I, at least) feel irritation is pretty on point.

Still tough as shit to identify specific emotions though, in general

>>48509233
>How do you deal with it?

I just sort of trudge through life being miserable, and lonely. I have a handful of friends, about two of which I'd consider close friends (and I regularly get the impression that even they get tired of having to interact with me and deal with my eccentricities). Fretting over my odds of getting into a graduate program for my degree, and resigning myself to the fact that I will never get a girlfriend.

Just normal enough to slip by without close inspection, but different enough to stick out as weird and distant. Didn't even luck out with a talent for mathematics, music, language, or anything fun that some spergs seem to get as compensation.

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>>48509233
I hope you find your way to cope.

I'm not on the spectrum to my knowledge (though my dad almost definitely is).

I do however not like people, as a general rule. I try to maximize my association with the people i like and minimize interactions with the waves of assholes comprising society.

Spend a lot of time just me and my dog and the Internet. Dogs are good people.

I've long since given up on making the world a better place. I don't think it can be done.

I'm saving up to eventually get somewhere outside the city and offgrid.

I'd like to get myself to the point where working full time is optional and i can live on passive income such as from rental units or investments.

Learn what makes you happy, but isn't self destructive. Pursue that. Avoid the shit in the world that makes you unhappy or hurts you.

That's the best advice is got .

>>48509924
>>48509916
Hell is other people-Jean-Paul Sartre

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>>48497850
>sounds like you met someone siginificantly worse
fella, buddy, pal, amigo. I don't know if you picked up on this, but that person we're talking about is a child. Asking a gorillian inane questions and focusing on them and being impatient is what they do. By all means your advice is useful, but so far, nothing OP experianced has anything to do with autism.

>>48509924
I'm sure it was obvious to most of, but maybe not to the actual autistic people:

I may not be autistic, but life experience has made me somewhat less than "well adjusted".

I can interact with people and read subtext and emotions fine, but find most people generally unpleasant to interact with, because most people show themselves to be selfish assholes, and while I can accept that is the case, still find interacting with them to be unpleasant.

Hence the reason that my life goal is to work my way out of society/the workforce, while keeping things as pleasant as possible along the way.

>>48509948

"Dogs are pretty great though."

-Jean-Paul Sartre

Don't know why everyone leaves that part out.

>>48510099
This is also why autists are refreshing.

I prefer eccentric people who have a hard time understanding social cues to assholes and sociopaths and malicious selfish cunts backstabbing everyone constantly.

I get that being autistic isn't easy and dont envy it, but you're usually pretty good people, for whatever that's worth.

>>48510143
I've never heard that part of the quote, and I'm not super familiar with his work. I agree with that 100%.

>>48510190
Matches what i said here
>>48509924

Clearly he was an insightful guy.

>>48510190
>This is also why autists are refreshing.
>I prefer eccentric people who have a hard time understanding social cues to assholes and sociopaths and malicious selfish cunts backstabbing everyone constantly.

That can be a trap for some of us, though. I've had quite a few people say something to the effect of "man, I don't want people to blow smoke up my ass. I want someone that will be honest and frank with me, and call it like they see it."

Then you find out what they really meant was "please blow smoke up my ass, just don't make it too obvious when you're doing it."

>>48510284
Which in turn tends to set off the incredulous "this is complete and utter unfair bullshit" mental response, as discussed in >>48508905

>>48510284
Haha.

It can certainly be uncomfortable to hear bad things about yourself that you were not expecting.

But autists typically aren't being malicious about it, at least, and I'd prefer someone who's occasionally rude, to an asshole boss or a backstabbing coworker or the like.

Generally of you have something negative to say about someone , and you care how they're going to take it, I'd advise four things :

>1. Only do so if you have to or they have told you they want you to be honest with them even when it's negative.
>2. Not do so in front of other people.
>3. (difficult, i know) try to guage how severe the negative thing is, and based on that severity try to decide whether or not you should give them warning first, with like "i don't want you to take this the wrong way, but..." or ask them if they mind you being frank with them and wait for an answer. That cues them in that you're about to tell them something unpleasant but true, for their own benefit.
>4. Try to be nice about how you say the negative things.

But even someone who doesn't do any of those 4 things is preferable to someone who sneaks around spreading rumors or is constantly trying to manipulate you.

When someone says they like that you're willing to cut the bullshit, they still typically want you to be nice about it, and (though they might not think it needs to be said) they probably want you to follow those 4 guidelines.

>>48510460
They'll tell you #1, and (unfortunately) the other three are implied but expected to be known. Pretty much all the time.

Having interacted with autists before , if I told you i valued your opinion and wanted you to be honest, I'd likely explicitly tell you the other three things as well, just in case.

But as a general rule, I'd suggest applying those disclaimers to your blunt honesty.

Even if someone likes honesty, they don't like to be publically embarrassed, they don't like to be blindsided and surprised by serious negative things, and they don't like when people are mean to them.

It's one of those "obvious" things that aren't obvious to everyone. Timing and Delivery do matter.

>>48497660

that is, in fact, exactly how you use commas. you, however, don't seem to know how to use apostrophes.

>>48510551
>>48510284
>>48510348
Worth noting, theyre probably not deliberately trying to trap you, they're just not understanding that
>>48510460, >>48510551, Isn't obvious to you.

They may very well appreciate honesty (it's useful), but likely don't realize that the tactfulness part isnt obvious to everyone, and theyre likely thinking of other blunt but not autistic people they knew in life when they said it.


Unfortunately, a lot of very important stuff in life, nobody tells you, you're just expected to know. Everything from social manners, subtext of *how* things are said instead of what is said, important life knowledge like how to properly take care of your health & finances, and budgeting, the dangers of debts, what to go to school for and why, and what dangerous behaviors of other people are common that you should look out for.

>>48510707
Time management, the importance of keeping a good (read: typical wake up at 7 or 8) sleep schedule, the social importance of not getting overweight and how to fix it, what's actually bad for you, the importance of staying organized.

Youre also mostly on your own figuring out ethics, morality, and meaning of life stuff, unless you were brainwashed into a particular religion as a child and told youd suffer if you didn't just follow these rules because they say so.

Basically all the important stuff, you have to figure out on your own without any help.

>>48508508
Anon, you're sort of throwing rocks in a glass house there.

>>48497376
I've played with two kids before. They didn't understand the idea that others have their own turn and kept insisting on doing what they wanted to do immediately. I think playing with kids in general requires a strong hand, and thankfully for me their father was there. But they do need a strong hand, willing to tell them what is ok and what isn't when they get too excited. Yelling ignoring turn order and trying to get attention are lessons that need to be made.

As far as autism goes, I'm sorry anon. I know I just don't have the patience for it and my first reaction is to not give extra leeway. From the sound of it you not only game him extra leeway but the whole run of the game. I mean, how did the other players feel babysitting?

You need to teach these kind of people or they won't change, but it's hard to teach them unless you're a parent. You did the nice thing and can feel better about yourself at night but it's suppose to be cooperative storytelling, not babysitting time. If you're ok with it, great! But if you're trying to be the 'good guy' here just remember no lessons were taught.

>>48511361
Even if they are somewhat autistic, be fair in your application of rules (they will never shut up about it if you aren't consistent and fair in your application of them, fyi), be firm, and be very clear about your rules and expectations of them. You don't need to shout or sound angry, but if you calmly but firmly law down the law, they will improve, and may even turn out to be very calm as long as the rules are kept.

Correcting autistic kids can make them turn out as sort of weird folks that don't always socialize well until they get to know someone and that person gets to know them, at which point they can be fairly normal and pretty good friends to have.

When you don't correct them and help them learn to socialize, they grow up to be Chris-chan, and it's absolutely awful for everyone.

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>>48502655
I laughed too hard to keep living

>>48498925
"Gifted" in a Nurgle sort of way

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>>48502655

>>48499529

Then your parents and friends are cunts. Parents well meaning cunts, but cunts nonetheless.

All this ADHD, ADD, Autism, depression and other shit is 99% bullshit that is trying to force anyone who isn't a 100% conformist consumer to be like everyone else. It's disgusting.
>I need a lot of activity to engage me
>Oh you have ADD
>I like to focus on one problem at a time
>Oh you have ADHD
>I find it irritating when people are loud or act in a chaotic and uncoordinated manner around me
>Oh you have autism
>I enjoy staying at home most of my spare time and reading books or playing games.
>Oh you have anti-social "disorder"

This shit will continue to happen and more and more 'disorders' will be invented until everyone is the exact fucking same or on some kind of medication to change it.

>>48504185

>> lesser players may not want to help

Or maybe people don't want the 2 hours of free time they have in a week doing something they enjoy, ruined by some shitty kid.

Fuck off with that pretentious "holier than thou" attitude

>>48515660
Thank you for your remarkably simplified, insightful comments into the lives of everyone else

>>48515660

Your feelings are noble, but misplaced.

Yes, it's downright rotten that the capitalists of the world will find problems to sell solutions to, and declare everything broken in order to sell a solution to it.

But that doesn't mean things aren't broken, only that greedy assholes want to convince you that being slightly irregular can only be treated with their snake oil.

We all stop taking the snake oil eventually, and let our ape brains cope the way they want to. No need to fight on anyone's behalf.

>>48515660

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl5V9yydT8o

>>48515660

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. I won't say that there is no such thing as a false positive diagnosis, because that would be insane, but there are people with very real problems that need the diagnosis to move forward. Because, without it, they have no idea what is wrong.

Do you wear glasses? If so, do you remember what it was life when you got your first pair?

When I was younger, and I was told I needed glasses, I didn't believe them. I could see the world just fine, and I didn't want to deal with what I thought was the social stigma of wearing glasses.
But, low and behold, when we went to the cheap glasses place in the walmart, and I was given my first pair of specs? Suddenly, I could actually see the back wall of the walmart from where I was standing. I could even read the signs back there!

And I realized, 'Holy shit, this is what the rest of the world looks like to everyone else. I never knew my eyes were so bad.' And how could I? I only ever had my own (impaired) point of view.

Getting diagnosed with autism was the same way. You might know something is wrong, but until someone sits down and explains it and you see all of the pieces fall into place, you just think the world is screwing you over and you don't know why. the simple act of knowing how and why I was different from the other kids was a major milestone in my development, and indeed I don't see how I could have moved past it and turned into the functional person that I am today without knowing those key points.

You can't account for your weaknesses and plan around them if you don't actually know what your weaknesses are.

>>48515660
Also, I'd like to add something that often gets ignored about people with ADHD. Did you know we're fucking phenomenal to have in really, really bad situations? I once saved a girl's life from an OD because, even though I got Ds in school, I kept my cool while my friend started crying like a bitch. I called an ambulance, put her in a bathtub with cold water which caused her veins to contract and improve her perfusion, keeping her alive until the medics arrived. I'm now an EMT, and a Firefighter in training.

However, I can only learn if I'm drawing something at the same time. It helps me concentrate immensely. But, the American school system didn't think that made sense, and so they made me cut the shit. I studied for my EMT finals while doodling DBZ characters.

I know it means nothing to you, but speaking to the other people in this thread who actually know what growing up un-medicated and obviously different is, this shit is basically your superpower. If you can figure out how to harness it, you're capable of some powerful shit that most people don't expect.

>>48505987
This 'weiner' [sic], anon
not his, "this"

lurk more you fucking newfag, acting puerile is merde du jour

>>48516019
> I know it means nothing to you, but speaking to the other people in this thread who actually know what growing up un-medicated and obviously different is, this shit is basically your superpower. If you can figure out how to harness it, you're capable of some powerful shit that most people don't expect

It really is interesting that when you delve into a lot of these disorders you realize that we are just adapted to a different situation than modern society expects of us.

It was kind of weird when I did the math on my own issues researching AS. Lack of empathy, predisposition towards organized crime, tendency to reject social systems I don't agree with, intense focus on planning and details... all that shit was fine.

Until, while helping an uncle move some furniture, someone's hand slipped and a couch ended up dropping on my foot. Which didn't break anything, because on my dad's side of the family we have very dense bones. I've never broken a bone in my life, a dentist once broke a drill bit giving me a filling (which, by the way, scared the ever loving shit out of me. A loud *crack* followed by an uncomfortable pause is the last thing you want to hear when someone is drilling your teeth) and my sister used to regularly rube the 'guess your weight' guy at carnivals because she weighs a solid 10 pounds heavier than she looks on account of bone density.

Anyway, the couch falls on my foot and is pinching my toes to the floor. Which, you know, hurts. But it hurts way less than everyone is acting like it should. Everyone but my mom, who mentions I have always been kind of dull on pain.

That was the 'oh' moment when it sort of all came together.

Lack of empathy, focus on planning and crime, dense bones and resistance to pain... all of which is genetically passed down on my dad's side (he also has AS).

I think I am supposed to be out raiding shit or laying siege to some dude's castle. But we don't do that anymore, so I just write shitty code instead.

>>48508641
I hate when autists try to be humorous though, or they try to correct you on something (like "who are you quoting?" when you greentext), because you always end up having to explain in excruciating detail, and it takes forever when you were just shitposting

>>48515660
I'm sorry anon, but you're wrong. Misdiagnosis is a thing. My elementary school tried to name me as having some variety of autism because I was a weird fucking kid and didn't play with other kids much due to being an only child. It was shot down by an actual psychologist.

But life with things like ADD or autism is nothing like what you're simplifying it to be. I know quite a few people that have one or the other, and it isn't just a personality quirk. Some people just can't function in society without medication or at least some way of acknowledging they have a disorder and working through it. I've seen friends before they get medication compared to afterwords. They go from being a giant mess to having some kind of control over their lives.

>>48509436
>I tried that whole nihilism philosophy phase as a teenager and wound up with an addiction to self-mutilation that escalated to the point of no return.

I'm sorry, but this sentence parses in a way that results in complete hilarity, to me.

But yes the other anon is right, "rational" thought is an extremely irrational approach to the vast majority of life's situations. Centipede's dilemma is probably the best example

>>48510814
>>Youre also mostly on your own figuring out ethics, morality, and meaning of life stuff, unless you were brainwashed into a particular religion as a child and told youd suffer if you didn't just follow these rules because they say so.
Joke's on you, I was never forced to be religious despite being from a religious family and my autistic major depressive disorder and subsequent foray into the world of philosophy only solidified my fanaticism

>>48510817
No he isn't you retard, he's saying there's nothing wrong with complaining, and as such he's attacking the substance of the complaint, not the act of complaining.

Complaining about complaining is only bad if you're complaining about complaints in general, and not a complaint's specifics

you fucking spergmeister

>>48511361
>I have shitloads of cousins who're basically like siblings to me
>most of them have kids
>they're uncontrollable shits
>I strictly lecture them when I play with them and they do something wrong
>I lecture them all the fucking time
>for some reason my cousins say that the kids adore me and kept saying how they couldn't wait for me to come back to the country in which they live

I don't understand kids

all I do is treat them like I'd treat a dog: lots of physical play, and lots of establishing of the pecking order

why the hell does that even work

>>48516579
Because people are pack animals and they need structure.

Their parents aren't providing that. You are.

>>48516019
There's also how ADHD lends itself incredibly well to doing the research for a P&P game, what with having retarded amounts of trivia at hand

Man, those were fun days as a kid in primary school. If we were playing Jeopardy, I was basically going to be MVP for whichever team I ended up on

good times

>>48516602
But it's so much easier than just giving into a kid's demands to just tell them to can it and wait until you're good and ready to do whatever

why on earth would anyone subject themselves to the inane cries of a howling baboon demanding McDonald's, when they could just say "no" and apparently be beloved for it?

Why would anyone do what kids say if being strict works? And why does it work when I'm not even the kids' actual parent

>>48516647
People have been buying into feelsy bullshit with raising kids the last few decades, where anything that has the effect you described is mean, cruel, and emotionally stunts them and their creativity/agency/whatever.

As it turns out, when you let the kids just be shits, they are just shits. Then, parents without the common sense to just say "no" and mean, freak out and start screaming, crying, or beating their kids for stupid reasons because they have no idea how to control their kid or conduct themselves in a way their kid will respect.

>>48503671
A friend of mine is a 50 year old autist.

He doesnt give a fuck about appearing as if he isnt autistic, he likes the way his brain works, because it works for him.

To him, the way other peoples brains work is the fucked up way.

He has my respect, the people who whine about not fitting in, and having different thought processes, they do not.

>>48516704
This, children are vile fucking creatures when left to their own devices, they have not yet developed functional morality.

>>48497842
>just makes it very hard to focus on boring things, and makes them want to tap their feet or chew their nails all the time as well.
Shit, isn't that normal? I do that all the time.

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>>48497376

as a guy whose worked in a library for almost 10 years, and in Childrens for 4, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that you can thank Notch and Minecraft for this shit.

I literally would walk by and that's all kids would be watching. Minecraft videos of guys playing minecraft on youtube getting all the goodies and crazy machines, jetpacks, fighting monsters, how to make the best armor, ride pigs, etc.

Thanks minecraft. You've ruined children.

>>48516743
>>48516704
so what, children are like chihuahuas?

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>>48497376

okay I'm >>48516833

BUT, I'll help you out here OP. Let's say you don't want to go with the Abort the Kid option Carlos.jpg...there's a guy who runs a website called RPG Gamer Dad, his podcast and articles are made completely and utterly for running games with kids involved, and he tries to cover everything, like challenges like these. I reached out to him last year and he's incredibly approachable and will reply to you. He's on twitter and facebook, so I think he's the perfect guy to ask your question to.

Also check out his podcasts, they are hella good - he RP's with his brother in some adult only games and god are they talented. They add SFX and shit too to really get you in the mood, and they've done SW as well.

https://rpggamerdad.wordpress.com/

currently it looks like he's on a hiatus, so hopefully at least his articles help if he doesn't reply back to you.

>>48516833
I'd place the blame more on kids being allowed to have smartphones. Having unfettered access to the entirity of the internet, youtube, and a billion shitty games and apps on one device, on demand and on the go.

Their brains don't get the chance to be forced to try and learn how to focus on one thing for an extended period of time (like reading a book in the library). With so much media at their fingertips, the minute they feel bored they have access to any number of things to replace it until they get bored again.

They don't need to come up with things to do, or have to learn to focus on something, because they have an endless stream of content to sift through, and they just seek constant mental stimulation be switching from one thing to the next as soon as they grow tired of it.

>>48516704
This, nigga.
Even for someone as (originally) emotionally stunted as me, as a kid I learned that when an adult tells you to back down or shut up, they usually have a good reason for it- and they did, for the most part. 'Lies to children' is one of the most useful tricks in the world, and when those kids grow up, they get the context to understand what the 'lies' really meant.

>>48499529
>Never had money to see a specialist.

Christ, is that what its like in a country without a national Health service? That just seems like a complete alien concept to me

I'm not saying Britain's NHS in any way a perfect model or whatever, but fuck living in a country without one man. Fuck that

>>48517115
They aren't usually that bad.

>>48517697

Its not just a case of money, even.

I live in a rural area. The nearest mental health specialist is 2.5 hours drive away from me, and he services such a wide area that getting an appointment with him is a crapshoot.

And all HE is really set up to do is basic diagnosis and prescription. Any kind of long term mental health care requires you to check in with a completely different system that, because they don't want to spend money taking care of you, will do everything in its power to find a way to disqualify you from their services. Catch 22 shit like if you are functional enough to do their application process you probably don't really need their care, and if you really need their care you can't manage the application process to get that care.

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>>48497376
Alright, OP here.

I've read everyone's responses, and mulled things over. I was fairly frustrated, and hopeless last session, but naturally as time goes by the feeling leaves, mostly.

However I'm not really up to put the time, and emotional investment into reaching a goal that I'm not sure I can reach. I don't have the new players' contact info, so I'll let him come in and stay for this next game. I'll do the best I can to explain the spotlight issues, and set rules about interruption, but I'll mostly be doing a rough evaluation in the first half of the game to see if the game is still suffering. I was already working on a pet project to get one of the player's sister more engaged in the game, and honestly I'd rather facilitate that.

I'm planning to end the game a few minutes early so I can talk with the mother. I don't really have a full script for what I want to say, but I think these social issues should be worked on at home before attempting to find another game. I think there was a level of assuming that this was another anti-social numeric dive into some autistic reclusion that required no self improvement like any other phone, or console game. Also the other kids I've dealt with were accompanied by either their parent, or cousin/sibling. They also played home games with their kid/sibling, and worked on the social issues that the game can create personally. I'm not sure how a neurotypical 50+ year old woman would really handle the thought of playing with their kid, but trying and failing is better than watching things go down hill.

It'll basically be a quick hello, goodbye, with a few parting words of wisdom, but when it comes to mental disorders I feel like I'm not in the right position with just 3 and 1/2 hours a week that is mostly split amongst other people. I could lay down the law, and have him managed, but I really would rather have the underlying problems be addressed, and that's a little beyond me.

Thanks for the input, everyone.

>>48508211

Stop serving out. Your life in an modern, Industrialized, Western nation is better then most of humanities. Never have you known true hardship; war, starvation/hunger, disease, imprisionment/slavery and mostly you flip the fuck out over normal stupid people being lazy cunts.

>>48520755
>you can't be bothered by things or have troubles of your own if someone, somewhere has it worse than you do

Just say "first world problems" like all the rest of the people that use fallacy of relative privation to try and look like they are big for shitting on someone else.

>>48499040
That sounds more like caffeine addiction, honestly. Your system is just used to having caffeine in it.

>>48501312
Oh yes. We're all adhd-riddled autists down here.

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>>48502655

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>>48501312
hold the press; the world needs to learn about this.

>>48503379
>LARP as a normal person
That is an.... actually pretty brilliant way of putting it.

>>48502655
Literally laughed out loud on a crowded train