ITT things that infuriate you in games

>>48489411

Everyone thinks that the rules don't apply to them and they'll only get the good outcomes. And sooner or later everyone is wrong.

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>setting is modern or futuristic
>system is fairly realistic
>"I want to use a sword"

>system's chargen is lengthy and indepth
>I walk the players through it because they're new to it
>player changes their mind multiple times on what they want their character to be after they already went through chargen

>player's character name is a shitty joke
>player's character name is a pop culture figure's
>player's character name is based around "heehee, it has the word 'fuck' in it heehee"
>player's character is a pop culture figure
>player's character is based around a shitty joke
>player gets upset when I tell them to make a character and not a living punchline
>player's character is a nonsensical mess not fitting with the setting
>player treats the game like their own personal MST3K-esque riffing session
>player doesn't know if he's available to play until the day before or day of
>player doesn't show up, gives a shitty excuse the day after
>player spends most of the session going on tangents about stupid shit
>player interrupts me before I finish describing something
>player constantly talks over other players

>>48489411
>gm allows a retard player to use retarded option
>bitches on the internet when it goes wrong

>>48489411
One time I had a player pick wild magic when we tried 5e as a one-off. The first thing he rolled was fireball to self, died instantly. That day I understood his pain.

>>48489411
>retarded player decides to play retarded character that ended the last campaign we had
>gm lets him

>Plays the opposite of stated character design. IE Snipers who only do Melee. Face Characters who are shoot first types.

>"new" characters who are, aside from name, the exact same motherfucker that we just killed for being a dumbshit.

>NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!!
>Not knowing the basics of your character or the game by the Six fucking month of play >.<

>CROSSTALKING.
>Constant criticism about Party leader yet never offering any ideas or stepping up to the plate themselves.

>>48491666

>Character name is a pop culture figure

Listen here, Satan, that can be done well.

It just depends on the name of the person, Edvedder and Zappa for example are fantasy sounding names in the right context.

Captain Kilmeister is a helluva good pirate name for example.

>Player won't stop trying to suck my dick
>Player won't wear underwear to sessions
>Player thinks showing me skin should get her exp
>Player won't respect my love for my waifu

Lat time I run a one person campaign lads, it's too frustrating.

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>>48489411
>le ebin overcomplicated plan
>Has a LOT OF flaws/free variables
>"I'm a genius!"
Seriously? You may benefit from plot armor, but it's not Batman-tier plot armor.
Your retarded plan is going to get the whole party killed or you deeper in shit, you dumbass.
I hardly gave words for when someone plays themselves into a worse situation not from outside circustances, but because they didn't think their own plan through in the context of the information I gave them.
"Are you sure you want to do this" only goes so far.

>>48493776
*have words

>>48493689
I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about shit like "My character is named Macho Man Randy Savage"

>>48491666
>player constantly talks over other players

My first session with a new group was just like this. It was so bad I just started typing everything I wanted to say in text because they wouldn't shut the fuck up.

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>>48489411

>DM does short/small RP on a forum for in-between sessions
>fellow player writes dialog and actions for PCs and NPCs without asking players or DMs for the okay first

>>48493864

>Playing online

Are people so pathetic they have no friends, or are they just too afraid to leave Mom's basement?

>>48493776
Related bitching

>Player has some retarded plan that is literally impossible due to magic/basic physics/people/cause and effect/whatever not working that way.
>Player proceeds to tell absolutely no one about said plan
>Player, however, continues to work towards that plan
>Player throws a hissy fit when he reveals his "master plan" and it doesn't work.

"I've spent four sessions working on this and spent almost all my gold, what do you mean 'it doesn't work'?"
"Sorry man, if I had known what all those rats were for early on I would have told you then."

I see this most often with people trying to apply misinformation they found on the internet (the grain silo story someone posted recently comes to mind), but bonus points if the plan was impossible due to some common-knowledge thing about the setting and the player never bothered to learn a damn thing about the world they're playing in. I've dealt with a mix of both.

>>48493952
man sure dose suck being such a pathetic loser growing up and moving due to a job man if only i could somehow play with my friends from back home so we can still enjoy the game.

>>48493952
you can relax man, no reason to be rude

>>48489411
>playing Baldur's Gate
>get that wild mage character
>she seems nice and a need a wizard, her spells might be cool
>fight some dire wolves
>time for the fucking magic
>start simple, try to use her wild magic option to cast a magic missile
>the dire wolf is turned invincible
>whole party is slowly murdered

If they don't get that RNG screwing them over sometimes is supposed to be fun, they shouldn't have gone for RNG.

>>48491666
>GM does not stop him at any point of this

I need angrier reaction images

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>>48493952
People move cities, anon.

One of my groups all live at least three hours from one another. Finding a couple of days where we can all meet isn't feasible with our disparate work schedules, especially since none of us have extra room for the others to crash.

I've got a more local group too, but we're all college age so they're only really going to available during the summer.

>>48493941
Man it's so hard to find a DnD group in some places, and if you do there is a huge statistical likelihood that the group is bullshit
>I just talked to a gm that wanted me to join even though he already had 8 players. I NOPED the fuck out of that conversation so fast.

Seriously. It's either Magical Realm shit or overcrowded parties.

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>>48489411
>walking punchline characters

Had a couple of games with a guy who's entire character was that he was a trans elf barbarian. Fucking annoying character with even less depth than the dragonborn cleric I made up on the spot (the setting was nothing so I just made a wanderlusted cleric of Pelor and tried my best).

>DM makes an obvious flub, gets mad when the players call him on it

A new DM tried running me and some other college buddies through a game using an ultra-simple homebrew system a friend of mine made up for fun. The ability list is probably larger than the actual rules, which all fit into a small packet.

The DM tried running us through a scenario where we all started in the brig of a small pirate ship and had to escape. It started out fine, but he immediately had us rolling perception for really mundane shit like doors and access hatches in rooms which weren't even poorly lit. We asked him to cut it out and he got pissy.

At some point we opened up a hatch in the floor and he said it opened up into the hold, which was about thirty feet deep.

>but didn't you say we where at the bottom of this ship?
>The ladder breaks and you take [fatal] damage.

He got up and left in a fit after that. It was a really shitty two hours.

>>48489411

>Last session of a 4-month campaign
>"Wait... how does attacking work again?"
*Facepalm*

>Enemy has gone full abomination and is swelling to fill the entirety of an alien tomb.
>Its mass is slowly working to envelop the PCs.
>Allies outside with a fuckton of napalm ready to burn the whole motherfucker inside out
>"Let's stand in place and attack it!"
There is no glory in TPKing a party. Only sadness.

>Players passing through unimportant hamlet
>"Let's kill the mayor and become the new mayors of Bumbleshart!"
And that was the last time I DMed for them.

>Players are teenage girls confronted by a little magical creature offering them wishes in exchange for shady shit
>Players can't be arsed to try to investigate who is possessed by a demon and where they are
>"I'm bored. I'm going meguca. Fuck the wish."
They never did get through the investigation... It wasn't even hard.

>Players have trouble navigating a megadungeon they've been mapping
>They rip off the rival adventuring company
>Loot includes a map
>"I go through the door to the west"
>"To the west is a smooth wall of cyclopean masonry, with masterfully crafted etchings of... [GM bullshitting]. There appears to be no door."
>"This map says there's a door. I'm going through the door."
>Shows me the map.
>The door is just a smudge from all the damage I did to make the map look worn.
>"Keep in mind that the map is a bit worn."
>"That doesn't matter, there's a door here. I want to go through it."
If you'd have actually tried fuckin' with the wall, I might have put a secret one in anyway.

>>48489411
>most systems can't strike a balance between wounds and permanent injuries with health being totally abstract and healing magic negating almost all tension

>no current system has any sort good combat flow that would require a character carrying multiple weapons

>player makes a character that is specifically good at doing something gimmicky (tripping fighter, grappling barbarian, etc) GM immediately builds every single encounter around completely negating that gimmick because it's "overpowered"

>>48489411
/tg/ complains about their games even more than /v/,and thats saying something.

>>48489411
People rarely sing up for consequences.

>>48489411
Combat that can't be circumvented by planning and strategy.

Players that don't want to do planning and strategy and just want to roll dice in combat.

>>48494868
>GM immediately builds every single encounter around completely negating that gimmick because it's "overpowered"
Most of these gimmicks are either 'you waste your action' if you don't succeed or 'encounter ends' if you do. There's no winning with d&d.

>>48495049
You're not wrong, but it's still annoying.

mild annoyances at best.

This one I don't really know how to handle.

>player is cheating at dice
>casts minor illusion on dice to change a number into another number.
>only specifies changing that one number into the other number. Does not account for other faces
>dice are revealed.
>the dice affected by minor illusion now has 2 of the same number on it.
>someone calls the player out for cheating.

Luckily nobody got mad, and the NPC who called them out on the cheat was pretty cool with it, and even helped them get away otherwise undetected, after splitting the pot with them.

Should I have given the player the benefit of the doubt and had the spell affect all faces of the dice? Should I generously interpret my player's vague or specific magical spell usages? The ambiguity annoys me.

>>48489411
>reactionary house rules or not letting you know about existing house rules before hand

i built a dex based maneuver monk only to learn 2 sessions in that the gm replaced grappling with a strength check.at least he let me remake my character.

literally just let a player know what it is they are playing before you end up wasting their time

>>48494722

I recognize madoka but what are the other ones

>>48495553
They're just an array of campaigns I wrote and one public D&D game I regret ever running.

The megucas one specifically featured a familiar that was like the shamwow guy if he were a mafioso and a cat.
The twist was that the familiar wasn't out to fuck them over, and actually had the PCs' well-being in mind despite sacrificing them for the good of the universe.
It was just really, really inappropriate henshin, that didn't accomplish a single thing. The guy who did it was spiraling into drug use and had begun losing IQ real fast. They didn't finish the adventure.

>>48491666
>I want to use a sword
"Well that's just fine. Realize that your enemies will have guns, but sure, sword as much as you want."

>>48496453
This happened in my last Shadowrun game. Some new guy joined us (friend of somebody who knew we played, asked to join) and went full fucking weeaboo: Japanese version of himself as his character. So this guy has NO augmentations of any kind, just a straight up normal Japanese man with money and family connections. Fine concept, simple enough for Shadowrun. We all figured he would be playing a Face. But he refused to carry any kind of gun, and only had a katana which was "passed down through his family for countless generations." He also challenged people in the party to "duels of honor" over dumb things, and was generally an unlikable shit.

Nobody liked this dork.

Our DM warned him multiple times that there was a lot of gunplay in the campaign, since we were fucking with the yakuza. He also warned him that trying to go melee against fully cyberized street samurai was a really stupid-ass idea as a non-altered human. If he wanted to be the Face, it was fine, but straight-up combat was going to get him killed.

Well, fucking Junichi disagreed, and said "if our DM ran a halfway-good game, then he could play however he wanted." DM didn't take kindly to that shit.

So, in his first "duel of honor" challenge with a yakuza NPC, Junichi got shot to death by like four dudes with uzis. We never saw his player again. We're all pretty sure he stole a bag of chips and like a handful of dice when he left.

>>48497210
>all dem DMs
GM, sorry. It's late.

>>48497210
>We're all pretty sure he stole a bag of chips and like a handful of dice when he left.
okay okay wait
the chips, fine
take em as a consolation prize or whatever because you had a shitty time
fine
that shit's like 2 bucks at meijer, whatever
but taking fucking dice?
come on man that shit is just petty
what the fuck even possesses people to act like that?

>>48491666
>"I want to use a sword"
Yup

>player changes their mind multiple times on what they want their character to be after they already went through chargen
It is why I now hate Shadowrun.

> player's character name is a shitty joke, pop culture figure's, based around "heehee, it has the word 'fuck' in it heehee", a pop culture figure, based around a shitty joke
Meh, you're just one nickname / shadow name away from making it irrelevant. If the group goes with the retardness, then you're the one not fitting. Find a better group.

>player gets upset when I tell them to make a character and not a living punchline
Agreed.

>player's character is a nonsensical mess not fitting with the setting
Agreed. Supervillain game with a guy using a pipe that when you blow, produce ordinary common household cats.

>player doesn't know if he's available to play until the day before or day of
>player doesn't show up, gives a shitty excuse the day after
The rage of a thousand suns. Kicked players for these very reason.

> player spends most of the session going on tangents about stupid shit
If it is one or two players, I agree. Otherwise, it's part of the socialization: No need to be all business.

> player interrupts me before I finish describing something
Easy: I start describing hazards / enemy equipment last.

>player constantly talks over other players

Seriously, this is all shit that can easily be screened out the two first sessions. OP's complaint was something much more insidious. It's a whole other thing.

>>48495239
TBF, if you show your character sheet to the DM and discuss what you want to do with it, you can make sure he is 110% responsible if anything like this happens.

Better safe than sorry, so record the thing. It's easy will cell phones nowadays.

>>48497210
A very similar thing happened to me. Pathfinder (yeah, I know), group is slave liberators (PCs choice, mostly that guy), that guy decides to play a paladin. The bow-using one that starts with precise shot. Rich parent, so Composite Longbow with strength bonus.

No way level 1 characters can face a camp of slavers, even amateurs, all at once.

So I design the camp. It's a mining camp. Miners dug and fell on some cave bear's cave. Escaped and went looking for help. Found the PCs.

Group had a ranger, and the bear was neutral, so it could be attacked or swayed by the melee ranger easily. Cave had more guards, separated in check points once could call "encounters". Slavers had weak weapons (daggers, short bows, short swords, whips, clubs) and, as foes, were weaker than orcs (CR 1/3).

The camp was walled, had (elevated) sentry positions, and anywhere between 120 feet of difficult terrain. So they stormed the fucking fort.

One of the PCs somehow managed to get AC 20+ and tanked most of the shots as him and the ranger ran to the walls. The paladin stood back and took pot shots. Circumstance modifiers (range + elevation + cover) made sure the paladin missed his first three shots. The thugs being more numerous, one scores a threat. I negate it, it lands near him and mention the arrow is glistening in a green liquid.

He fells a thug while his allies try to climb a wooden palissade.

Sure enough, a second threat comes. it hits the paladin. I require a Fort save. He fails. His strength lowers. Now he gets another to-hit penalty from insufficient STR.

The boss (both figurative and literal), a gunman, gets out and begin attacking those who climbed the wall. He is slightly elevated.

Smite Evil.

Boss goes in full cover (by simply climbing down the building, pistols' range are shit). Players are defeated. Never heard from the paladin ever.

>>48497598
> and anywhere OVER 120 feet of difficult terrain

>>48491666
My friend has a totem warrior barbarian named Tiger Woods in a 5e game I DM. I wanted to veto it, but with his backstory I couldn't. Roughly: he grew up in a tribal community of druids who revered tigers, when a ritual went grossly wrong and they all perma-tigered he took up the name to represent his homeland while he traveled looking for a way to undo the ritual.

>>48489411
Maybe they just like to complain

>>48489411
>GM presents plothook
>GM presents plothook
>GM presents plothook
>GM presents plothook
>Thanks to how long each one takes (and the fact that he won't stop presenting plothooks while we're pursuing one) we can effectively only choose one, or if we're lucky, two, out of all available options
>GM punishes us for whatever we didn't choose, er'ry time
>becomes less "what do you/your characters want to do?" and more "what do you want to get guilted and punished for?"

>>48495192
Did they roll well on casting? The illusion is good, the other faces of the die change as well. Did they roll badly? What you described, happens. Did they completely botch the roll? All six faces of the die now show sixes and the dice start to declare in an annoying voice that the caster won the game.

>>48500156
>>48495192
I would probably have evaluate whether to interpret generously based on something relating to their int or wis scores (e.g. raw ability check). The idea being "yes, your character was smart enough to have noticed this problem even if you as a player didn't."

I would point out the ambiguity to the player and caution them to be more thorough in the future, regardless.

"wait what do I roll to attack again?"

>that guy who sees a plothook and laughs and runs in the other direction

ok cool, thanks for exercising your free will, but if you don't want to play my game, why are you playing my game

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>>48500613
>player rolls damage
>DM: Roll to hit first
>player: Oh, right
>player rolls damage again
like what part of d20 system is unclear to these people

>>48500149
You sure you are not playing magical xcom?

3 months into a campaign.
"Right, so.... Is it strength to hit?"
"No, you are using a Gun."
"Oh. Uh..."
"Dex."
"Oh."
6 months into campaign.

"Right, so, with dex, that's a 27."
"You're using a greatsword."
"Yeah?"
"That's strength."
"Oh."
"Yes."
"And dam-?"
"Strength. It's always been strength."

18 months in.
"20 to hit."
"Wait, what? You rolled a 4. And your level 15. BAB alone should take you to 19!"
"Yeah, it does. Then +1 from my sword being enchanted."
"...."
"So, 20. Yeah."
"And, Strength?"
"You add strength to hit?"
"Yes."
"Oh. 23."
"But your level 15, how do you only have 16 str? You're playing a strength based...Forget it. it hits"
"8 damage. Ha!"
"But..you rolled a 4 and a 3? How...?"
"Yeah, but MAGIC sword, remember?"
"Holy shit, what about strength?"
"You add-?"
"YES."
"Oh. 11"
"Don't you have power attack?"
"What now?"
"Oh my god. Also, you're two handing, aren't you?"
"Yeah, so?"
"....And your a fighter, so you also have weapon training."
"Yeah."
"Are you going to add your bonus to damage?"
"What?"
"Nevermind."

I wish it weren't true.

>player character refuses to aid other player character because of disagreement outside the game
>player wants to play just so he can fuck around as whatever FotM anime character he recently learned about, then immediately loses interest
Oh also
>character background generator
I know Pathfinder is garbage but it's my kind of garbage, except for the fucking generator. It makes me want to write a character personality test like a job application or something to make sure people establish a personality and not just additional combat bonuses, but that sounds like just a tiny bit too much effort to ever bother.

>>48489411
Crunch
>Shields are useless
Fluff
>Race = culture
Players
>Rule-lawyers

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>Players constantly fighting over who gets to GM
>Everyone who gets a chance wants to start their own new fucking campaign instead of continuing the one they already made last time
In four years I've never seen further than 2nd level. I'm not mad anymore, I'm sad.

>>48493689
>>48493840

How about Captain Kilmeister Savage? Fuck, Captain Savage is pretty awesome on its own.

>>48494961
That's because unlike /v/ we actually play the games we're bitching about

>>48491203
This applies to real life too unfortunately.

FPBP

>Players blindly trust other character's words, even though they've been lied to and fucked over before
>Players show loyalty to each other only when it's convenient, turn on each other if there's a benefit to doing so
>Party conflict stops them from ever accomplishing anything, at best they'll make it through the first big quest before it all falls to shit
>Even if they describe their characters as good guys, they'll always find a way to turn on each other

Why are they so deadset on fucking themselves over? I've really driven the point home that they need to be on the same page for this next game, but I feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable for a few more sessions. Like, what more can I say? I've told them the exact reason they keep failing is because they don't work together and they all agree.

>>48501023
Hey if he forgets all of the buffs he gets that's his own fault. He's the one with the character sheet in front of him. If he doesn't include it don't use it. Also try green texting for an easier read.

>>48501023
I have a player like that.
Now I make him do his roll on roll20 with a tablet. I can track his sheet and to roll for anything he has a macro.
It's much, MUCH better than before

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>>48501206

>>48501318
I bet you more than half the players bitching about D&D never played it

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>>48501023
"I cast suggestion."
"Ok, what's the save DC?"
"..."
"What's the save DC?"
"I don't know."
"You should know that, check your character sh-"
"What does suggestion do by the way?"

>>48500627

"So your character runs away from the main plot, and goes on to have many exciting adventures on his own. He'll go on to become a legend. Now roll up a new character who's going to be a part of THIS story."

>>48501023
Honestly calculating all those stats and feats for damage is pretty complicated. When I played a Barb I wrote down that I did 2d8+88 just so I didn't have to work it out every turn.

>>48500735
> City attacked by dragons at night.
> Half the city is ablaze.
> PCs rush in as fast as they can.
> Face 3 bloodlusted lizardfolk barbarians.
> First two rounds, the barbarians take cover.
> Manage to down two out of the threes in the first few rounds.
> Know there's more, including a kobold sorcerer ahead who's coup-de-gracing civilians.
> Lizardfolk barbarian just too dangerous to ignore.
> Sending spell
> Magic Central:
We're losing civilians left and right, Commander. We have to move fast or this capital will be wiped out.
>...
> A few hours later.
> City burned down, but somehow the region is maintained.
> Fighter received a mean critical.
> No magical healing because FUCK YOU.
> Recover like 5 hp per day.
> Out for 19 days.
> 3 Days later, friendlies find a fort where the scaled folks develop magically imbued fire arrows.
> Either we go with a SEVERELY wounded fighter, or he must take up a replacement character. That doesn't even have a PC class. yet. Yay Human Warrior!
> Decide not to go get killed.
> Blamed by everyone.

If you got no bard/cleric/druid and/or wands of curative magic, that's actually pretty close to Pathfinder.

>>48489411
I have a player that wanted to play as a Vampire but didn't want to get tied down to a "coffin" and complained when everything around his coffin started to wilt and die.

He also got annoyed all the time when people were aloof of him. He spent most of the game disguised and being incredibly Charismatic in typical Vampire fashion but when things went wrong he'd always just run away.

We spent like 2 sessions with him trying to talk his way out of being killed by a band of Paladins and Clerics and complained whrn they didn't listen to his pleas.

>>48501582
This is a valid solution and what we had to do for him, in the end.
I'm more complaining that even after 18 months we had to do this for him.

>>48493757
>things that never happened or did, and she's a hambeast with no concept of hygiene

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>>48501681
>>48501023
> 3 months into a campaign.
> 6 months into campaign.
> 18 months in.
You're having a combat encounter, at best, one every 3 months! What do you expect?!?

>>48501504

Actually, most people who bitch about it have played it and usually started off as a martial.

There is no bigger kick to the dick than rolling up a Monk and realizing that you're being outclassed by wild animal.

>>48501023
Wow, this is the first person I can think of that made playing martial look complex. And it only took him year and half!

>>48501499
Last month I went full sperg, removed all the problem players, reclaimed position as DM for a bit, and continued the same campaign I've been trying to play for a year now. We've nearly gotten to third level now but it's still like a month between sessions.

>>48489411
>playing an unoptimized wizard, because I just want to be an old guy that throws around some spells
>run across displacement and invisibility spells
>decide to be a team player and pick them up
>enemies all start to sport true seeing
>highest level spells now effectively useless

I get that spells can mess up good encounter design, but there has to be a better workaround than just making enemies negate them.

>>48501735
Caught me red handed.

As an afterthought, I'll add this:
He played a Swashbuckler that specialised in guns.
Aka the class that goes "Damn I like the class mechanics for the gunslinger, but wish I didn't have to use guns with it."

>>48501830
I kind of like detecting spells having a power value and all spells they look at having a defense value of some sort so the more powerful your wizard, the less likely a monster with true seeing actually sees the invisible players. Or maybe at least making it less fucking common of a feature.
Oh and one more thing: In PF all core races but human have low-light vision. Why not just make that the base and give humans a penalty?

>>48501023
Jesus Christ, I remember this.

Ran a Pathfinder campaign a little while back. Went on for almost three years, started at level 1 and ran all the way to 16. And every single fucking session, the rogue would ask the same fucking questions.
>How do I use my sneak attacks?
>What am I supposed to add to damage?
>My rapier has a crit of 18-20, what does that mean?
>Can I take a Reflex save to dodge that attack?
Every session up to and including the very last one. Honestly, I'm amazed she lasted that long.

And another thing.
>Players writing temporary buffs on their character sheets
>No explanation of what they're for or how long they last
>Forget to remove them after they expire
>"I don't remember where I got this +5 bonus, gonna apply it anyway and not say so until questioned"
It's like they think I leave pads of Post-Its around the room for fucking Feng Shui or something. Temporary buffs on temporary paper makes sense, right?

>>48501789

Playing a martial is actually pretty thought intensive since you're stacking so many bonuses and keeping track of so many penalties just to swing a dinky ass sword.

It's just that, in the end, all you're doing is rolling dice and dealing damage while the mage can actually change the nature of battle with one spell.

>>48501955
I remember the first game I ran someone asked if he could use acrobatics to dodge more than once. We mocked him so much that "acrobatics to dodge" became a running joke for the entire time I played with them.

>>48501985
If adding is too complex for you, you can do it only once and note down in the "Attacks" section with all common bonuses. I suppose you're not retarded to the point of being unable to add/subtract 2 to it for circumstance bonuses, and even Power Attack is set by you.

Oh, wait, most people in this board are american. Now I get it.

>>48493952
>durr

>>48501955
The post-it idea is great. Plus, flashy yellow color means you won't forget as often. Consider it stolen.

AND I'M NEVER GIVING IT BACK!

>>48502065

When you have to keep track of static and circumstantial bonuses from five different sources, while also keeping track of any penalties that you're currently suffering from, while at the same time having to keep track of your damage and shit, it becomes a bit much for an action that's so weak in the grand scheme of the game.

I mean, I've had an easier time filing taxes than I did playing a Fighter who was stacking bonuses from all the feats and shit I had.

>>48502280
Then you have actual problems with adding. Seriously, you can write it down ONCE to add it all up and just add +1 every time you level up. If you can't handle stactic +1~5 bonuses, you're just too dumb to play a fighter, and that says a lot.

Damage is the same, but even easier. If [dice]+STR+[fixed] is too much for you, I suggest going back to elementary school.

>>48502280
> Shadowrun
> Firing a short burst of automatic shotgun with a medium spread, at 22 meters, with heavy rain, moderate wind, having shot the round before so keep in mind recoil and recoil compensation and while jogging, on a moonless night with thermal vision, a smartgun system a moving target and low cover.
Some games should have warning labels "For Autistic People / By Autistic People".

>>48502390
> This is my regular set of basic attack.
> This is my regular set of power attack
> This is my Vital Strike
> This is my Power Vital Strike Attack
> This is my regular set of attack under the spell Haste
> This is my regular set of Power Attacks under Haste
> This is my regular set of attacks while I rage.
> This is my regular set of Power Attacks while I rage.
> This is my regular set of attacks while I rage and am Hasted.
> This is my Raging Vital Strike.
> This is my regular set of attacks under Bless and Haste.
> This is my regular set of Power Attacks under Bless and Haste.
> This is my regular set of Power Attacks under Haste, Bless, and Rage.
> This is my Vital Strike under...

And then, there's your defensive buffs.

>>48502540
Other modifiers:
> Using an off-hand weapon or not.
> Heroism spell
> Magic Weapon
> Sickened, Shaken and other conditions.
> I hope you did not forget you received 2 points of STR damage.
> Good thing it was offset by Bull's Strength, so actually that's a plus 1.
> The guy is from an elevated position, so -1.
> Forgot the Aid Another from his minion, that's -2.
> Now the Furyborn enchantment bonus is +3, keep that in mind
> Wait, you're enlarged. This does not affect your to-hit, but your damage dice changed to 2d8.
> And you have to roll for concealment.

>>48501824
I like stories with a happy ending :)

>>48502540
>>48502634

And this shit is just to swing a sword at somebody.

>>48501666
>paladins and clerics have a right to kill whoever they want because the law doesn't protect "evil" people
This is the dumbest shit ever.

Only topped in its stupidity by padins and alignment.

>>48502813
> paladins and clerics have a right to kill whoever they want because the law doesn't protect "evil" people
Considering how 90%+ of the population is neither an Evil Cleric, an Antipaladin (or anything else with an Aura of Evil) and that Detect Evil can't detect Evil characters of level 4 and less, it is also scary.

>>48494133
>Invincible enemy
>Fun
You can only pick one anon.

>>48502678
It's probably for the best another Pathfinder group fell apart

>>48502813
I'd disagree with you here except for the fact that it didn't sound much like this vampire really did anything that would've gotten paladins and clerics chasing after him. Otherwise, it could've been totally justified as a vampire hunt.

I'm biased because I'm a paladin player, but I don't think things are that bad as long as the player of the paladin knows his shit.

>>48502889
I dunno, looking back on it it was pretty fucking funny. It's like how later in the game I tried to use color spray and I got grapes.

>>48502947
> Fun
> Funny
Once again, pick one. Sacrificing a campaign for a quick "welp, we're fucked" chuckle is not fun.

>>48502634
I mean, if we're going to be autistic and rack up every single thing in the game, sure
I'm not this other guy, and I'm not going to pretend there aren't a lot of modifiers, but at the end of the day this is pretty simple addition.

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>Player decides that my character killed his character's family in his backstory
>Never runs it by me before bringing it up in-character
>mfw he's genuinely surprised that I don't immediately play along without complaint

I mean I probably would've rolled with it if he just had the courtesy to bring it up beforehand, all things considering, but it's still inconsiderate as fuck of him.

>>48502995
> I mean, if we're going to be autistic and rack up every single thing in the game, sure
That's the only way to get any kind of result as a fighter. Besides, most of these you barely got a say in. You become the wizard's class ability.

> I'm not this other guy, and I'm not going to pretend there aren't a lot of modifiers, but at the end of the day this is pretty simple addition.
Yeah, the addition is the simple part. Nobody ever said that 1d20+8+5+2+4+1-3 / 1d20+3+5+2+4-3 for 2d6+7+2+4+1+9 damage is hard to calculate.

But it's a pain to remember which variable gets to be thrown in.

And these bonuses / trade-offs and spells are just too good to solve problems you can swing a weapon at not to use.

>>48489411
I've actually seen worst kind of munchkins choosing wild magic only because it *might* give them huge bonus. It's very humorous when it usually doesn't, but really just sad to see it happen.

>>48503061
Do you not just write down what all your modifiers are and what they're from or read over the rules for all the variable modifiers in combat before hand?

>>48494868

>GM negating your niche

I hate that shit, and it seems to be almost exclusively a 3.X problem. The main reason I stopped playing really. Made a skill monkey then was promptly shut down any time I used a skill. Meanwhile wizards were flying around shooting lighting and casting godly utility spells without issue.

>>48503622
>multiple sometimes conflicting situational modifiers
>factoring them into a final number representing your bonus at a given time

Yeahhhno. You would have to write down a dozen different bonuses, based situationally upon what applies at a given time.

>>48503629

Diplomancer. In half the games I've played, you may as well tear up your character sheet and start over.

>gms who can not handle players who will not follow what they planned to the letter.

I am not talking about not being able to cope because some retards want to build mud forts instead what the campaign was sold as.

I am talking about shit where gms refuse to acknowledge any action they did not plan for. I also wish to hold a very special place in the pits of hell for dms who retcon actions because of what the party chose is not what the dm wanted.

I used to run D&D 3.5e for my group, and we had a player by the name of Mark who was always bringing me his new "homebrew" that was just an excuse to

>"I want to play a custom race I made."
"Okay, let's see it."
>furry catgirl race
>+5 STR (wat)
>+3 CHA (uh)
>-2 CON (I don't)
>natural weapons claws AND fangs
>supernatural powers out the ying-yang (seriously there were like three or four of them, one being an immediate and undetectable stealth that he was "pretty proud of")
And here's the kicker:
>LA+0
"No, Mark, you can't run this. It's not even--"
>"You're such a fucking dick! You ALWAYS let the other guys do homebrew, but never let ME play ANY of my custom stuff!"
"Mark. When the other guys bring me stuff, they're never intentionally trying to break the game just so they can play their furry dream waifu."

And then Mark quit playing with our group, and last any of us knew had really, REALLY gotten into the My Little Pony card game.

>>48504727
>an excuse to
.. play whatever new cartoon waifu he was obsessed with that month.

>>48502973
If it's one of those 'you're likely to die' sorts of games like CoC or one of the Warhammer RPGs, it's not that much of a sacrifice.

Besides, that was in a videogame where you could reload from the last save if you died, so an enemy becoming invincible wasn't the end of the world. In a less-deadly RPG, they'd probably make sure to not include anything that would turn into a TPK unless things went very very bad afterwards - you'd probably just take a little damage, a penalty to a stat, maybe lose some equipment.

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>>48491666

>>48504727
I've dealt with the opposite

>Ok so you want to play this thing you pu-
>-2 to everything but DEX(+2) and CHA(+0)
>Low light vision that comes with the drawback that their stealth checks in the dark are extremely gimped
>That's literally it
>"This is going to be a fighter"
And the kicker
>"Ok I cheated. There's supposed to be a -2 on charisma too but I really wanted all of the 18 I rolled in chargen"
>Charisma MUST be the highest stat, it's part of my character

I hate that there's a weird contingent of conservative alt-right nerds out there that make me terrified of being queer in a new gaming group or playing queer characters.

>>48505749
>Besides, that was in a videogame

Then why the fuck post about it on /tg/?

>>48506450
>"contingent"
>not like more than half of all modern gamers
>even worse with traditional gamers
Face it, gaming is still a "WE PLAY WITH BOYS ONLY, BUT WE'RE NOT FUCKING FAGGOTS" hobby and it fucking sucks, and I'm really sorry, and I hate it too. My group got weird after I came out (which didn't even happen at a game session), and my DM (a friend of mine since we were little kids) asked me to stop coming to game night because the fact that I was gay was making other players (many of them also childhood friends) uncomfortable.

>>48500627
>My players
Okay, them taking a break to visit the city of wizards 'n' dwarves is good, because I had planned Shit To Go Down there but hadn't come up with a reason for them to actually go there, and they left the civil war questline in an uneasy ceasefire, but there's still a crazed witch going around trying to become the Only God, and they're just saying "Yeah cool, wanna learn potions."

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>>48489411

>play Wild Mage Sorcerer in long ass 4e campaign
>chaos bolt
>chaos bolt for days
>campaign goes on into the teens
>have fuckhuge damage bonus
>big scary encounter
>hydra type monster with multiple heads
>few other baddies around
>igotthis.jpg
>chaos bolt
>20
>oh boy here we go
>me an me warlord switch places with one of the baddies into the worst possible spot
>its fine, I get to bounce my shit at least and we have initiative over them
>even
>even
>even
>even
>even for fucking ever
>last enemy left
>oh look it's even
>well shit
>warlord says he'll take the hit cause he has most HP/defense
>hit him anyway, finally odd though
>alright, how much do I take?
>I roll my d6
>that's not bad, you rolled at 2
>2? Ok, that's 57 damage
>wat
>ruined our bottle neck, scattered the party, put enemies in flanking position, and bloodied the tank with one at will
>mfw


We still won the fight because I bloodied most of the enemies, too, but still. That was a doozy.

>>48506906
Because it's Baldur's Gate?

>>48494050

It's called, get a new job, faggot.

>>48506992
I'm bretty sure that has everything to do with living in bumfuck redneck nowhere instead of belonging to a certain hobby.

>>48489411
>The GM won't stand up to the players/punish them for doing something like cheating.
>The Players don't accept what the GM is doing.
>A GM having the enemy metagame making it impossible to do something because somehow we're fighting the fucking borg.
>A Player having his character know how to fight something all due to the fact they fought it in a previous campain/ they've already look at it in the bestiary.

>>48507704
>country folks are mostly bigots, racists, and sexists
Get back to the north, you carpetbagger.

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>>48489411
Forrest Gump the Anime.

Players who try to hijack your character. Not through mind control mind you. Just through OOC quarterbacking. Giving others advice is fine; telling other players how to play their character isn't.

>>48489411
Myself and another player being FORCED to choose between acting in complete and utter contradiction to our character's personalities by NOT walking into THE ABSOLUTE MOST OBVIOUS TRAP EVER that two of the other three players jumped into without thought, or letting them pay for their stupidity, taking the ship and money we had on hand and leaving, thereby causing the entire campaign to collapse session TWO, because the GM thought it would be a WONDERFUL idea to make players leave the group when their character dies, when there're only five players to begin with, and two of them are pants-on-head retarded.
Also said GM having a race of creatures who are so powerful that their psychic abilities, which are already cheating when nobody else can, don't allow any sort of save, even though the other races have been interacting with these things for CENTURIES. AND somehow this race ISN'T running LITERALLY EVERYTHING with their OP psychic powers.

Needless to say, the entire group is now stuck in The Most Dangerous Game, because our GM seems to want to just kill us so he can run or play something different, even though the campaign was his fucking idea.

>>48497738

That's some funny shit right there.

>>48507704
Sorry, wrong, grew up in Chicago. Gaming communities being a smelly boys club is a thing in blue states too, dipshit.

>>48508202
>OOC quarterbacking

GOD DAMN IT, one of my players does this constantly, and it pisses off literally everyone at the table. Constant "uh dude no, you can do this because it's a class feature so you should always be doing it in situations like this" or solving fucking puzzles for other players when his character isn't even in the same goddamn room as everyone else. Next time he does it, I'm just gonna have him get hit by a falling rock or some other shit.

>>48509024
Chicago is a shithole, what did you expect?

>>48493956
What was the recent grain silo story? Caps?
>>48500149
Have you tried talking to him.jpg
>>48501206
What a horrifying picture. Saved.
>>48501603
Magical X-Com deserves its own high fantasy trilogy. Or low fantasy, I'm sure that would work, too.
>>48503629
>almost exclusively a 3.X problem
That shit happens in literally every system where a particular tactic has an in-system, rules supported count tactic, i.e. most of them. Don't blame the acts of a shitty GM on their dumb system choices.

>Can I make a dex save to dodge that attack? Isn't that what saves do?
>Why doesn't this armor make me take less damage? That's stupid
>I stabbed that guy, shouldn't he take bleed damage over turns?

my players have this weird obsession with some twisted form of "realism", but only when the "realism" would benefit them. No mention of this "realism" when it would hinder them in some way

they treated my campaign like it was a game to be won. videogame rpgs are cancer

>>48510172
>Have you tried talking to him.jpg
Yeah.
It's finally showing results.
Not because he's changing anything; just after two years of running the campaign he's decided he wants to wrap it up before the new wow expansion comes out, so no more laying-down material.

>DM doesn't think about his setting and can't answer simple questions about it like 'how powerful are PCs relative to the setting' or 'how common is magic'
>DM forgets or ignores simple backstory notes
>DM doesn't know the rules
>DM doesn't tell you about house rules until after you've made a character
>DM doesn't let you change your character after learning said house rules, even if said house rules ruin the character
>DM tries to enforce realism in a fantastical game.
>DM ignores realism in a realistic game
>Players who take too long with their turns
>Players who don't know the rules
>Players who don't know what dice they roll for damage after playing this game literally for years.
>Players who can't make their own character sheets.

>>48507070
Chaos Bolt's secondary attack is optional. And you dont have to attack an ally with it either.

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>>48489411
>characters name is a videogame characters name
>avatar is that character
>backstory is that characters avatar

>player goes out of his way to make an useless and weak character
>complains when everybody is better than him

>>48507070
At least you're not gay, Bobby

>>48506992
Emi, that's bullshit, literally we don't care you're gay, the problem here was you hitting on Dario every fucking day and making things weird, also it was you the one who left, we only told you to stop hitting on the obviously hetero guy who isn't interested in you.

>>48493634
>multiple exclamation points
>emoticons
>namefag
off yourself

>>48493952
>play with group
>four people on the east coast when I'm on the west
>all in different (not close by either) states
>fifth lives up north in canada
>sixth lives in fucking italy
gee anon

>>48509024

The unwashed grognards are a menace that afflicts us all equally; red state or blue, liberal or conservative. There's no nationality to being a cunt. No cure, either.

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>>48489411
People who don't take the time to learn the rules and expect everyone to carry them.

>Friend runs Star Wars a few months ago
>Myself and three others play in it
>First time in a year any of us have played it
>Three our of the four of us remember the rules well enough and read through to refresh our memory
>Player number four reads the rules for the first time (apparently, despite having played the game multiple times)
>Builds a poorly optimized Jedi (Poorly optimized on purpose) and keeps asking why we're not doing RAW
>Explain repeatedly we're using alternate rule-sets found in other books
>Explain that this is how we've always done it and there's no reason he shouldn't remember this
>Calls us liars to our faces
>Starts shouting when his character manages to get nothing done (Most of it being accusations that we're just shitting on him)
>Keeps expecting rules to be bent for him in regards to what force powers can and cannot do
>Devolves into a passive-aggressive whiner for the remainder of the session

I mean, it went alright otherwise. We (Myself and players two and three) managed to clear a small gang's base, looted 100k credits, and got a level from it in a four to five hour session. However, none of us have played since because of player four, and the fact that his whining caused other arguments between myself and player three.

We don't really invite player four to much of anything anymore.

>>48491666
>>player's character is based around a shitty joke

If I had a bullet in my brain for every time this happened in my group, I would be dead

>Playing Chronicles of Darkness
>Got three mages, a Thyrsus(shaman healing spirit mage), Moros(necromancer/alchemist), and an Acanthus(time mage/asshole).
>Run into a thing with swords on its fingers that runs 45 mph.
>Everyone runs, throwing shit between themselves and speedy sword hand.
>Rolls chance die for half the shit they are doing to get away.(a chance die has a 10% chance to succeed, 80% chance to fail, and a 10% chance to super fail; its CoD's now you fucked up die)
>manage to avoid death, dismemberment mostly(Thyrsus lost some fingers and a magic ring on said fingers)
>Acanthus is unharmed. Looks around and frowns.
"I cast shifting sands of time to send us back to when we met the monster"
>wat.
"I think we could of handled that situation better"
>Shifting Sands doesn't heal or restore your lost shit, are you still going to-
>Acanthus rolls the dice. Rolls for paradox(magical fuck ups, like wild magic, but you can negate it if your smart). Paradox and her both get success.
>So the party rewinds time back to when they met the monster; this time maimed and tired from JUST RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES.
>Oh, what did paradox do with its success? Send the monster back in time with us! So now it knows everything too!
>Acanthus
"You can't expect me to have known this was going to happen!"

The Moros lost an arm and most his face, thigh and a mask that was really, really, valuable to him. The Thyrsus had to make a deal with a nasty monster to get Mr. Sword fingers to stop chasing them, hes probably going to loose his soul. The Acanthus was unharmed.

Have you ever felt anger so strong its like a literal wall when you enter the room?

>Constantly asking questions they should fucking know the answers to
>"I pick the lock athletically? with my fingers?"
>"These NPCs should know better than to take on a murder hobo"
>Character is a joke / always high / drunk
>Self imposed rolls
>Making a character who doesn't join the party
>"This guy will be good at pvp"

and most recently

>Player spends more than an entire session trying to identify stuff. Splits off from the party just to identify more stuff. I ignore him because he keeps identifying stuff while im doing stuff for other players. Eventually I get sick of his shit and send a monster after him who would give good information if he identified it. Doesn't identify it.

>>48502540
> Firing a short burst of automatic shotgun with a medium spread, at 22 meters, with heavy rain, moderate wind, having shot the round before so keep in mind recoil and recoil compensation and while jogging, on a moonless night with thermal vision, a smartgun system a moving target and low cover.

Are you actually mentally retarded? Like not meme retarded but actually retarded? Because you're trying to make things sound complicated when in actual game it's very simple.

>heavy rain, moderate wind, moonless night with thermal vision
I mean, environmental conditions don't fucking change round to round so you'll just get a -6 from dark and stormy night bullshit and that's it, it's going to be the same till the end of the combat, plus it's the GM that tells you the penalty.

>short burst of automatic shotgun with a medium spread
Short burst and flechette spread give penalties to the enemy, so you don't have to keep track of them.

So you actually only have 2 things to keep track off: Running, and recoil. How this is hard to you I have no idea.

>>48511197
>>48509024
if people don't want to play with you, then there's nothing you can do desu senpai
I mean with vydia you can whine on twitter and eventually some game developer might do something to make this shit less bad

But RPG is something you play with friends, or at least people you're on a somewhat friendly stance. So if people don't want to play with you, or treat you like shit, chances are, you wouldn't want to play with them either.

>>48511205
...so, it happend once?

>>48501582
>Honestly calculating all those stats and feats for damage is pretty complicated.
Notes dammit, keep notes.
Seriously this is what I do for my archer
Total hit bonus
Total hit bonus with X feat
Total damage bonus
Total damage bonus with X feat
Bam I can just quickly look at my table to see what I need to add to my roll.

>>48509024
That's weird - my boyfriend and I have a lot of fun at our gaming group.

>>48511379
stop playing with these people, jesus

>>48512522
cause yer a man ya fag

>>48500149
Are you me? Our group had to branch out into more people trying out GMing because our initial ForeverGM could Not. Stop. Doing This. Every time we turned around, there was another world ending apocalypse happening on the other side of the country, and in order to do anything about it, we'd have to abandon whatever world ending apocalypse we were currently dealing with, which obviously, nobody wanted to do.

Lots of people started leaving the campaign when he began penalising us for ''getting distracted from the main quest''.

>>48500149
Maybe that'S just the way he imagine playing grim dark settings - with things going to helll?

>>48512305
My cleric has on her character sheet a whole list of those too. Strength, dex, con, attack bonus, damage bonus, all while under the effects of different buff spells and using her different cleric powers. I had an awkward first two sessions, then spent half an hour working out all the combinations and it was smooth sailing from then on. 10/10 Would recommend.

>>48503041
>''YOU KILLED MY FATHER''
>No I didn't.
>''...''

Where does the conversation even go from there?

>>48489411
Played an arcanist in rolemaster one time. If i fuck up a spell roll i could kill everyone in like 300 feet and leave a smoking crater where i stand. I had a good skill rating, but people would cede to social negotiations rather than risk me casting a spell. I also specialized in ranged teleportation, and people had seen me teleport people a mile up, out, or down into the ocean. You would hope for out, because the other two are basically death sentences.

If i win, you lose. If i lose (unlikely), everyone loses!

I mostly walked around and was the party face.

I mean. They could kill me with numbers, but do you want to be the one i take out with me via teleport?

>>48513310
Investigative detective work?

>>48510172
>What was the recent grain silo story? Caps?
Can't be arsed to find it, but the short version is that a player heard about how grain silos can *technically* explode if exposed to extreme heat at just the right density -- IIRC, the increased surface area from storing the grain as basically grain-dust allows it to all catch fire very rapidly in perfect-storm scenarios. Regardless, dude stopped reading after learning silo=bomb. The PC proceeded to build and stock grain silos all over the city before rigging up triggers with candles and wax seals. When it finally came time to set off the "bombs," a very confused GM/group had to explain that, no, you can't just drop a candle in to a grain silo to nuke the area around it.

The story had a semi-happy ending, though. Rather than get angry, dude just got super embarassed, retired the character, and rolled up a new guy, which is better than how the shit turns out at my table.

>>48493689
I've played characters in the past with names kind of like this that work out, you just have to be not-retarded
I've had a wizard named Elan (after the nightwish song)
and a rouge named Darewin (after the SAS's "Who Dares Wins") for example

>>48495239
Joined by buddy's 3.5 group, the DM is pretty amazing, really puts alot of effort into things, had neat encounters that aren't just "a bigger monster than last time" and lets us have a little fun at the same time.
Then one of the other guys says he wants to run Numinara every other week to give DM guy time to work so he's not pressed for time, never played the system but it sounds like fun.

HOLY FUCK this guy, this fucking guy.
Every SINGLE session we've sat down for he has three new house rules, we didn't even get though character creation before he's nerfing us by limiting our powers and items just because "i don't like that" and then totally redoes the skill system so that you get more points but it takes three points just to get "practiced" which means you take no penalty, oh you don't have a skill? automatic -2, Items you have? Oh those too, as an lightning user i get a bag of batteries that i can use to maybe charge up devices we find, "I don't like that, every time you use it, if you roll a 1 the bag is empty, then next time if you roll a 1 or 2 and so on" and a book that gives me +1 on weird shit like ancient machines or weird monsters "oh i don't like that, first roll, and if it's under 13 then you can get the bonus, then roll for the knowledge check" and all of these were changed on the fly middle of game.

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>>48507751
>Because somehow we're fighting the fucking borg.
Jesus, although that sound horrible, it gave me a serious chuckle.

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>>48500613
Triggered

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>>48509088
I totally fucking agree with the fact that its retarded what he is doing, but its also infuriating watching people struggle over something you find really easy.
Once, my friends and i was exploring an church where an mummy lord was holed up. I fell into a pittrap and got knocked the fuck out. When they rappeled down to get me, they found an imprissoned fire elemental with a puzzle-lock. We all got to see the puzzle, and while it took me about 15 seconds to get it, they spent like 4 minuttes or so, fidgeting with it. In the end, they had to wake me up so i could do the puzzle

>>48489411
Something that used to, but doesn't nearly as much anymore, is people using art of canon characters, for their characters. As long as it's not super iconic (like Dante or something), I usually let it slide, because I've started to realize how hard it can be to find good art of certain concepts.

>>48491666
>Player makes a character that isn't even consistent with what's written on the character sheet
Example:
>TG makes a guy with the weakness: (Extreme fear of spiders) yet can transform into a giant spider and does not react in any way whatsoever in-character beyond sarcastic responses and being edgy.

>E and M scout ahead
>Find a group of barbarians
>M convinced E to flee
>M forgets to tell H and D about the barbarians
>H and D find the barbarians and try an ambush.
>Through miraculous rolls and improvisation H manages to kill a majority of the barbarians and D kills the rest.
>H finds an obviously magical sword and takes that and some other things as his share of loot.
>E and M come back and player M immediately demands that he should have the sword.
>Even though H is proficient in swords, fought the barbarians, and player M is a fucking Druid that fights via wild shaping.
>OOC M is fucking livid that H isn't handing over a magic sword he found on the corpses of s barbarian group M explicitly ran away from.
>M dictates In-Character That he will kill H over the sword and ends up getting knocked out and gagged by the rest of the party.
Fucking hell. Why do people get so entitled?

Only one thing.
>People try to shove modern politics into explicitly medieval settings and expect to have their ideas well received with no reprecussions whatsoever.

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Players who try to "win" the game
>"It's ok, we beat the final boss, half the city is on fire, and we're all dead, but the suicide bomb worked!"
Players who make meme-characters
>"You know Sir Bearington, that's my character"
Players who don't read the setting notes
>"So, what is a Gangrel?"
Players who decide they can't be bothered to give me a basic character idea before session.
>". . ."
Players who have the attention span of a knat
>"It's my turn to attack? Oh, I attack." When combat ended five minutes ago.
Players who play themselves
>"So my Medieval Knight wants democracy for the seven kingdoms, where everybody has a vote."

I have dealt with all of these, and it hurts my soul.

>>48517808
Its ok friend, we all burn in this hell together.

>>48491666
Swords still kill people just as good today as they did back then. Its only an issue if every single enemy you go up against has a gun

>>48489411
DM/GM/WTFever says "Anything you say at the table is automatically in character"

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>>48491666
>setting and system is fantasy
>find the not!Umbrella biolabs with sliding mechanical doors and holographic computers

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>>48517808

Democracy might be alright, considering that it has existed since 507BC. You could probably build an entire story on inventing it and convincing neighboring kings to adopt it. You could even have BBEGs from your own court trying to seize power. Pity that a Medieval Knight kind of depends on serving a kingdom, making the character suggestion kind of stupid.

>>48518688
Maybe he's a hedge knight?

I could kind of see "altruistic wandering hedge knight who advocates for democratic rule" as a neat character

>constantly talks about their character or planned characters both in and out of game, at great length and often repeating unnecessary information
>players taking other people's in-character actions way too personally and escalating in-character
>bitching that their backstory has "never gotten used" when their backstory is one of the driving forces of the current plotline
>hardcore RPers bitching about the guy who actually read the rules to make an optimized character, complaining that he's "godmodding", when their characters are potentially just as powerful
>people begging to join your game when you've just gone through an introductory session, and expecting to be spoonfed into the party
>people bitching that there's only one player actually doing shit, when they're given plenty of opportunities
>people complaining that their character isn't powerful enough when they were warned beforehand that the option they chose would cap out on power really quick and wouldn't be able to compete as well later on

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>>48518310
That can be done well. It's gotta be near the end of a long campaign and needs to be dressed up as magic.

I.E.
>Lore mentions an ancient lost civilization full of magic stuff
>Is actually just a Star-Trek level civilization that got fucked because "We should not have played God!"
>Magic objects are just regular technology that people in a less developed society would see as magic
>Actual spells and stuff are quantum physics

You can only pull this trick once, though

>>48507229
>Every town and city ever has the same opportunities

Here's your (you)

>>48518899
It was in Westeros, he belonged to a noble house in the Reach

>>48518113
When players go on a half-an-hour minute joke fest and then get mad because we went overtime
THAT, THAT is why I have that rule

>>48521819
I too hate it when things go on for half-an-hour minute

>>48521819
Roll20 is nice for this, my group likes to joke and screw around and also have IC RP heavy segments, so while the dm and a player are doing RP stuff the rest of the group will be in the chat making jokes and shit. Some of us like to go and catch up on all the jokes when their segment is done, others end up reading along as they're playing and end up laughing but it's never been too distracting

>>48493956
Grain silo story?

>>48516933
Thing is, it's never over shit that anybody's ever having trouble with. He just pulls his "OH DON'T WORRY, IDIOTS, I'M PRETTY SURE IIIIII KNOW HOW TO SOLVE THIS PUZZLE" shit and fucking starts going in on possible solutions before anybody else gets a chance. He refuses to accept that the game, while a group activity, is also a game with rules, and that if his character isn't in the room with the puzzle then he's not allowed to help solve the fucking puzzle.

He also goes off on his own a lot, which is its own brand of annoying as fuck, because then he acts like he wasn't four rooms away. It's funny the first time when everybody forgot they were in another room and the player says "Uh, I ran really fast to get here?" But after the fifth time, it's not funny anymore, and he's just doing it on purpose.

>>48491666
>>player interrupts me before I finish describing something
Oh my god, this. That was my pet peeve for so long, because I used to play with this one guy who was fucking terrible about doing that.

You see, I try to be evocative with my descriptions, or at least make the effort. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't monologueing my novel or getting lost in purple prose, but I liked to frame a scene with about twenty seconds of description. Maybe forty if it's important. Three of my players liked that, and specifically mentioned it kept them engaged and they want more of it. But That Guy constantly interrupted me because he felt, and I quote, that "narration is boring".

Let's say I tried to set up a scene like this:
>As you enter the Last Stand Tavern, the mingled smells of leather and weapon oil reach you beneath the odor of sawdust and stale beer. You see the walls are decorated with the broken or splintered remains of all manner of shields, and there are armor racks in the corners displaying suits of harness with awful punctures and rents. Wounds that probably would have been fatal to anyone wearing them when they were dealt. As you spy your contact, you notice his boiled leather is barely in better repair than those conversation pieces. This doesn't fill you with confidence for the proposed job.

With That Guy, it'd go something like this:
>As you enter the Last Stand Tavern-
>I look for our contact! Do I see him!?
>...yes
>I GO AND GREET HIM!
Pissed me off after a while.

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>>48523457
Next time he does it, cause a cave in or something, then promptly go on your own way. Im not even joking, i would.

>>48517291
I blame the
>b-but all muh tabletop RPGs should be just like MMORPGs!
crowd, who thinks that all loot should be rolled on, or that everybody should get something good just for being in the party.

My group specifically plays ~low fantasy/low-power games, where powerful magical items are hard to come by (but people who have them are badasses). Never had any problems before, but I recently had a new player (friend of a friend) who would NOT stop bitching that he
>didn't have magical items
>and magical weapons
>and various other shit that he was """supposed""" to have
just because he was a specific level. I had to sternly explain to him that not everybody always has equipment of equal value and power at the same time, and that our loot system was very random.

He clearly didn't understand the game we were playing, why we "would ever want to not be decked out in epics" (literally his words), and vehemently wanted it to be an MMORPG. He quit playing pen & paper games with us after like three sessions and I only ever saw him at parties after that.

>>48521819
You're subhuman. Fuck you.

>>48523676
>With That Guy, it'd go something like this:
>As you enter the Last Stand Tavern-
>I look for our contact! Do I see him!?
>...yes
>I GO AND GREET HIM!
>You fall into a bottomless hole that i was just about to describe.
>Promptly continiue to describe to the other players who give a fuck.
I have little to no patience towards people who ruin the work GM's put into worldbuilding or getting other players imersed into the scene.
>Pissed me off after a while.

>>48523398
it's om the thread

>DMs who only want to play games nobody in the group likes

>>48489411

Groups that get bored with a system and want to try a new one roughly every 5 sessions.

Then not liking the new one and wanting to move on again.

Then getting mad at me, the GM, for not having perfect system mastery three weeks after picking up a system I've never even heard of before someone shouted that we should play it.

>>48523981
That's my old GM.
>"Guys, let's play BESM!"
>group sigh
>"Come on, man. You're the only person who likes anime enough to play that system, though. We all prefer fantasy or sci-fi."
>"There's fantasy and sci-fi anime, though..."
>"Yeah, we know, but we really don't want to play those genres in an anime game. We'd rather play games designed for those genres."
>he goes into an almost-hour-long guilt trip about how we "never want to play the games he likes"
>and how BESM totally works in all genres
>and how it's a better catch-all system than GURPS
>and how we apparently always do this to him
>and how he doesn't get to play these kind of games with anybody else
>and how he can't even keep fantasy books at his house because his mom doesn't like them
>and blah
>blaaaah
>blaaaaaaaah
>one player, finally fed up with the pity party, says "No, none of us want to fucking play BESM, and we tell you every single time, but it's the only fucking game you like. So you run half-ass campaigns in every single game we like, until either we're bored of putting up with it, or you come up with an excuse to stop the campaign."
>GM gets into a fit about that
>"Fine, then one of YOU guys run something."
>player who snapped says "Fine, we're playing Swords & Wizardry, but everybody has to roll humans."
>GM says "What? That's retarded. I don't want to play that."
>snapper says "YOU SEE HOW IT FUCKING FEELS?!"
>and then we ran S&W anyway (without the "humans only" thing) with the other guy GMing
>old GM bitched every session about how BESM "would've let him make a cooler character"
Those two hated each other forever after that. The group got kinda awkward after that, until old GM made excuse after excuse to not attend, until her finally just stopped showing up.

Ah, high school.

>>48524333
BESM is a pretty good catch-all tho

>>48524511
I wasn't saying he was wrong or right, just describing part of the guilt trip he tried to send us on. Personally, I think BESM is a pretty cluttered system, but I feel the same way about GURPS.

>>48491666
>setting is futuristic
>"my character uses a sword"

Makes sense in some sci-fi, using a gun in a pressurized spaceship full of sensitive components is a recipe for disaster.

>>48489411
Where the fuck is this image from?

>>48523981
>Players who refuse to try anything different/step out of their comfort zone

Probably worse desu

>>48524153
As a GM, I've got some advice: Players never have to do any preparation outside of sessions besides rolling up their character, and many of them seem to think the GM's time and workload are almost exactly the same as theirs. They don't know how much work you put in.

Sometimes, you really just need to tell your group no. Tell them "I don't have the time or patience to change systems again. I put in too much work for you guys to get bored of it after a month. If you don't want me to do any more work outside of our sessions, then I absolutely won't, but that means one of you has to run the game instead. The GM not only needs to understand the rules inside and out, but also has to create the world you're playing around in, and that shit takes time outside of our sessions. This isn't all just off the cuff. There's a ton of planning and work and decision-making, and it's incredibly disrespectful of my time that you guys keep wanting new systems and new games without even giving me the courtesy of finishing our current story."

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>>48510784
story time?

>>48525367
>not understanding jokeposting

Are you 12?

>>48525345
>>48523981
right because it's always the fault of one or the other and definitely not everybody just being whiny manchildren about it

>>48525387
It's the middle of summer, so probably, yeah.

>>48525351
>>48524153


Shit GMs need to learn how to IMPROVISE. It's not hard you cock-gobbling faggots.

>>48525709
Why don't you improvise a girl then?

>>48525709
>just improvise a whole game brah it's not hard
>hey what dice do I roll to attack again?

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>>48501023
I'm guilty of this. I'm sorry.

>>48495192
Look, that's a petpeeve of mine actually. The DM helps build a story. This is just nitpicking to the point of ridicule. Unless the character is indeed stupid enough to actually affect only one face, just read the situation and apply the most reasonable explanation. Do you roll damage when someone says they 'walk through the door', but didn't specify opening it?

>>48523745
I can see why it could be frustrating. WBL is a core assumption of the game, and if you're not used to being poor, it can feel unfair.

Also- some magic items do cool stuff.

>>48518113
That rule's only acceptable in Paranoia.
There it's just funny.

>>48489411

I feel blessed to have a long-term group that actually talks and shit and generally avoids anything like this, but I've had some shit FLGS experiences and the like. Here goes:

>Not reading the rules and getting in your shit when things don't go their way
If you read the rules you probably wouldn't be surprised how hard it is to make that death-defying leap.
>Getting in your shit about not reading the rules before requesting a take-back on something stupid
No. You don't get that Option-Select bullshit. Playing the system (which you barely understand) and playing the table, to boot? You aren't going to receive mercy if you act like a cunt. You don't get it both ways. On a related note,
>Getting in your shit about low xp/loot gain
I prefer slower, more plausible character growth and wealth. What is it about TTRPGs that makes dumbasses want to place imaginary items and money on a pedestal, instead of the enjoyment of the table? Fuck 'em.

>>48511374
I'm fucking crying

>>48523745
You clearly don't understand that missing all the time and getting hit by monsters all the time is bullshit.

>>48519068
All of these.

>>48494722
>Bumbleshart!
this made me laugh uncontrollably for no reason, fuck you.

>>48523814
Eh, I handled it differently. I took that crazy advice /tg/ was always spouting, and talked to him about it like an adult. I asked him why he kept cutting me off, he said "narration was boring". I pointed out that while he may not like it, I enjoyed laying the scene and the rest of the group liked it as well, so by cutting me off he was decreasing everyone else's fun. I also pointed out that my narration never took up remotely so much time as out-of-game strategizing, for which he was one of the biggest offenders; and that while out-of-game strategizing wasn't how I got my jollies, I let he and the guys muck things out without cutting them off or forcing instant decisions. Then I asked him to show me the same courtesy.

He thought it over and admitted it hadn't occurred to him how selfish he was being, apologized, and promised not to do it again. Did not have that problem with him after that.

>>48518310
>find the not!Umbrella biolabs with sliding mechanical doors and holographic computers
Fucking Spellweavers.

>>48532549
The system works!

>>48532549
It is a real pleasure to read that.

>>48495192
You should have made the other guy make a spot if he passed then he noticed the fuck up.

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>>48532549
>Talking to one of your players about the problem
>Using reason to convey the message
>He listens
>He agrees, and sees the fault of his ways
Jesus christ anon, what is wrong with you? This is /tf. Thats now how its supposed to work here.

>>48533686
Speaking to people as adult=>adult is the best way for them to listen to you. If you treat them as children chances are that they will behave accordingly.
Or continue their butthurting, unwillingly to learn anything. In that case you throw them through the window and continue playing with the matured ones. You are not a specialized educator for butthurted children.

>>48489411
Players being aggressive for no real reason

>chaotic gun fight
>players spread out
>guy who always rolls the tough manly dwarf, big axe smokes and drinks characters in every fucking game says that he is going to use his machine gun on an enemy running for cover and that player B should fire at a separate group of enemies.
>his turn comes after the enemy and player B's turn
>enemy running for cover notices the player B and starts to blindly fire in his direction
>playerB keeps his cool underfire and takes him out with a single chest shot
>first player instead of congratulating him on a nice roll decides to REEEEEE about how "I SAID I WOULD TAKE CARE OF HIM AND THAT HE SHOULD OF INSTEAD FIRED AT A DIFFERENT ENEMY"

it went something like that I don't recall to many details but I fucking hate when some asshole tells the other group whats going to happen and how and then gets butt blasted at them when his plan doesn't go 100% his way.

>>48536063
I've had players do shit like that. It always confuses me how competitive people can get with what's supposed to be a team game.

It gets especially bad when there's a player who wants to do everything - not in a jack of all trades sense, but just in a 'I shall be good at the most roles' sense. He wants to be the sneaky guy, the party face, and one of the primary damage dealers.

>>48537979
But he's obiously the protagonist and that the rest of the PCs are his sidekicks. If he's not the best at everything and if they don't know their place, how will his excellence be recognized?

>>48537979
I have been like that in the past, with an overpowered gish.
I wanted my character to win, essentially, i wanted to make good scores for him to shine and i seize every opportunities to do so.
It bored people at the table and with time i accepted to share specific parts of the win with the other players.

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>>48511374

>>48532549
this is fucking revolting to read, how dare you?! This goes against everything we stand for here on /tg/
You're not welcome here anymore Anon, take your "happiness", go away and stay go

>>48524511
BESM is a fucking terrible system and does absolutely nothing right

It's objectively worse than just about any generic system. The balance is all fucked. The skills are retarded and as far from evocative as possible. The powers are way too limited in scope, and the system in general does nothing well
There is literally zero (0) reason to play BESM for any purpose, ever

>>48493757
Years ago I had a game on Thursdays and one of the players had mentioned that they went commando. Jokes where had, plans where made and eventually everyone in the party would start to go commando for Game. The campaign ended two years later and "Commando Thursdays" are still a thing for us.

>>48541398
The joy of knowing that all of your friends are naked underneath their clothes

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>>48494722
>let's kill the mayor and take his place!
>group does this after I've spent countless hours prepping adventures in any place but halfwaytown since this is session 5
>meh just go with it
>guys the peasants are rebelling
>we subjulgate them non-fatally
>guys they're leaving
>we kill them
>rest of session is party doing hamlet accounting, turns out the 1/5th villagers are enough to keep the town going
>the next sessions are basically "let's UPGRADE our town with walls/traps/militia/gear/etc"
>several sessions of fuck adventuring let's dorf fort it up in here
>fuck the rules I'll abstract a bit and see what they come up with
>neat ideas
>trade agreement with passing caravans for booze ingredients, town begins making moonshine, we start getting hammered during our sessions
>roleplay intensifies
>nation ruler sends scouting party of high level to ask wtf is going on
>party murders them, have villager support by now
>king sends out a battalion meant to wipe out the town
>this was suposed to be the tpk but they prep and game the fight so appropriately I can't help but fiat a few rolls so they win
>they win
>it's been nearly a dozen sessions and this went from pathfinder to D&Sims in the second
>the first session was the party being set free from prison to hunt for a minor necromancer for their magical aptitude (low fantasy setting)
>in a dozen more sessions if they're still there (probably will) the ancient evil is going to awaken and set a endless army of undead upon the town

If they survive that I'm just gonna spend the rest of my life playing fantasy hamlet accountant, this is fun

>>48540551
It's a weird mentality to me because I always thought of it like in tactical games - each member of the party has a role to play, that is occasionally doubled up on, but they always have something that's individually important.

>>48494133
>>48502947
Playing bg2
Neera wild surges area of affect on summon nishuru
Every space around her is filled with nishuru
shit was great

>Being in a group with the DM's wife
2 different groups and both times they are the worst and whiniest members of the group. It's never too long before they come out of the game to complain that the DM isn't being fair.

>>48506371
Wait.

WAIT.

This guy is playing something that's literally god's gift to killer GMs.

And he's APOLOGETIC about cheating in his own favour?

Good grief, does the man have an inferiority complex or something?