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Useless Magical Items pt 2

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The old thread is auto-saging, so here we go again

Come up with a magical item that is useless, or useful in only extremely unlikely scenarios
>>
Ring of Half Strength - A plain silver ring. Reduces the wearer's physical strength by half. Has no other effects
>>
>Amulet of Recursion

This magical item gives its wearer a +10 bonus to craft checks, but only when attempting to create another Amulet of Recursion.
>>
>Wand of the Chigger

When evoked, the target of this wand must make a DC 10 Will save or else suffer mild but annoying itching for 1d6 hours.
>>
>>48442468
That actually sounds useful. Put that on an strong enemy somehow to render him much weaker. Use to replace rival's ring with, the night before a scheduled swored duel. Used by law enforcement to subdue unruly brutes. Etc.
>>
>Barlow's Bag of Oats

The signature creation of the Archdruid Barlow, who created dozens and distributed them to Druid coves around the world. These items resemble ordinary backpacks, but when filled with dry, nonliving, organic matter, they are able to magically convert their contents into ground raw oats. This item will not function if partially filled, or if it contains any inorganic, living, or undead material.
>>
>>48442687
so it can convert rotten or spoiled food into edible food?
>>
>Falsehood Serum

This potion will cause the drinker to be unable to tell the truth as they know it for six hours after imbibing. They can say non-commital or ambiguous things, as long as it doesn't communicate a truth to any listener.
>>
>>48442433
Tankard of incredible power - Whoever drinks from this tankard believes he is imbued with incredible power.
>>
>Double Axe of Bludgeoning

This magically enchanted double axe does an additional 2d6 bludgeoning damage when the wielder strikes their foe with its flat. Unfortunately, the axe is not designed to be wielded sideways, and the user suffers a -4 penalty to hit when using the weapon as such, and deals a base 1d2 damage with its flat.
>>
>>48442721

Sure--as long as you're very careful to ensure that there's no fruit flies, maggots, or other living creatures in that rotten or spoiled food. The magic is not affected by the presence of bacteria, however, so it definitely can be useful.

Just... not particularly convenient.
>>
>Chain Belt of Invisiblity

When worn by a humanoid, the user and anything on the user's person will appear invisible to others The belt, though, is made of very dangly chains that will jingle with the slightest of movements. It also exudes a smokey smell while active.
>>
>Ring of the Monologue

Highly prized by evil villains and self-important adventurers alike, this magical ring compels those around the wearer not to interrupt when he or she is speaking. Anyone within hearing distance must pass a DC20 Will save in order to verbally or physically interrupt the wearer in mid-soliloquy. This ring does not compel attention, however; while listeners may be unable to talk over the wearer or attack, they are free to leave the area, ignore the speaker, or otherwise go about their business quietly. If the wearer takes any action, the effect is immediately broken; it can only be used while standing or sitting still, or at most while pacing a bit. The ring still affects those who don't speak the wearer's language, but has no affect on deaf characters.
>>
>Ring of the Inner Eye

Allows you to see your body as muscle and bone, but only when your body is in a healthy, uninjured state.
>>
Got a link to the previous thread?
>>
>>48443044

>>48412026
>>48412026
>>
>>48442433
Bag of Squirrels:
When reached into the bag, the owner will feel something furry. Pulling it out will reveal a wild squirrel, who will promptly bite and claw at them to try to get free.

Only works once per day. The squirrel will disappear after 10 minutes. If eaten, the nutritional benefits will also disappear.
>>
Lewd Dust

Scattering this dust makes the area smell of sex. This is a magical effect and individuals will smell whatever is most relevant to their race. e.g gnolls will smell estrus secretions and musk, dwarves will smell burned limestone, elves (being sluts) will smell pungent fishy vaginal fluids, etc.
>>
>>48442433
>Amulet of the 4th Cone

Putting on this amulet grants the wearer an additional color cone in their eyes, allowing them to see an incredibly new array of colors they previously could not even imagine. However, it does not grant the brain the ability to properly interpret these new colors.
>>
>Bag of the Buffalo

Modified Bag of Holding. Once per week, the Bag of Buffalo can produce a single, adult male American Buffalo from its depths. This buffalo is alive and active, and is completely confused and scared at its new surroundings, and will react appropriately. Failure to open the bag longer than a month will result in a stampede of buffalo erupting from the bag at seemingly the most inopportune moments.
>>
The Cursed Ring of Curses.

The wearer of the ring will inexplicably swear in every sentence spoken until the ring is removed.
>>
>>48444551
>Giving the players a ticking timebomb
>>
>>48444613
>at the most inopportune moments

It would happen in situations that you would NOT want it to happen in, such as while attempting a stealth mission, or when the players are conducting diplomacy with a noble or other NPC.
>>
>>48442433
>Wand of Cure Simple Disease

Has the ability to cure anyone of any disease, but only if that disease is not debilitating, lethal, or inconvenient in any way.
>>
>The Ring of Rings

This ring allows you to wear a 3rd magic ring, multiple Ring of Rings stack, each one letting you wear one more magic ring than normal.
>>
>>48444658
I could get sadistic with that kind of bag.

>Do a job for a crime lord.
>He wants a hefty slice of the profits off of whatever I do.
>Give him the bag after dealing with a the bison a day before reporting back, in addition to to whatever cut he wants.
>Boss thinks it' just a normal Bag of Holding, decides to keep it.
>SUDDENLY BUFFALO
>Bonus points if he puts it in a storage room somewhere, in which they all break out one day and ruin his life, and the lives of everyone in the nearby area.

>>48444720
Classic.
>>
>>48442433
>Ring of Limited Wishes
>Can only wish for more wishes
>>
>>48444720

This one's really fucking good. All you need is three ring of rings since they stack according to the description as written. Two rings stacking gives two slots, and three rings stacking their effects on each other means for every ring you wear you get three extra slots, so three RoR, and seven normal ring slots left.
>>
>>48444793
I meant that you can have more than one on at a time, not an exponential bonus. Normally in D&D and stuff like this, you can't stack things. All it does is lets you wear more Rings of Rings. Each one only gives 1 more slot.
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>>48444793

RAWFAG POWERGAMERS GO HOME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>>48442883
Shit, I had an idea for the horn of invisibility, which makes the user invisible so long as it is being played
>>
>Boots of the mermaid

Transforms your legs into a merfolk's tail, which then immediately ruins the boots as they are shredded by your feet turning into fins, and thus reverses it's effect.
>>
Ugly Coat - A coat that is ugly to all who see it, regardless of personal taste
>>
>Cloak of Invisibility
>It's invisible
>>
Box of Holding - A box that is bigger on the inside than on the outside, by 10%
>>
>>48444974
>Box of Dimensional Warping
>It's much smaller on the inside than it should be
>>
>>48442433
>Unerring cup of tea
when pouring whatever you want in your cup of tea you never spill it, although you shouldn't add anything to your tea, you fucking heretic.
>>
>>48445151
What about more tea?
>have Unerring Cup of Tea
>fill with tea
>then pour a pint of tea into it for shiggles
>????
>>
>>48442791
Seems like a really good way to get rid of a body...
>>
>>48445552
You broke the system, gratz
>slowclap.mp4
>>
>>48445585
>body
>dry
>>
>>48444914
Put them on in the middle of a crowded, but quiet town square. Preferably one that doesn't have a whole lot go on and isn't particularly well informed in magic.

>WHAT THE /FUCK/
>>
>>48444865
Intimidating as fuck in mass. Lone warrior approaches, backed by a deafening whail of horns. Suddenly an army appears
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>>48444720
you now have a suit of ringmail. Somewhere in the weave, there might be one or two actual magical effects.
>>
>>48446005
STOP
>>
>Gauntlets of mini might

Allows the user to wield weapons up to two size categories smaller than him.
>>
>>48445806
Holy shit, that would make one hell of a movie battle scene
>>
>>48442897
Huh, so you can chant any spell for as long as you want without beeing interrupted? Seems broken for mages.
>>
>>48444865
What about the user is only invisible to those who hear the horn ?

How loud do you play it ?
>>
>>48442433
>Short skirt of Anti-Pervesion
While wearing this skirt, it is impossible for anyone to see further than the hem
A favorite of "female" adventurers on their time off
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>>48442533
Could be sold as regular jewelry.

>>48442725
Ask yes/no questions.

>>48442615
>>48443204
Good for pranks or mild distractions.

>>48442883
>>48444865
Great for ambushing, would attract and confuse people.

>>48444938
A piece of invisible cloth seems pretty useful.
>>
>>48449214
This description needs work, as I see potential mass panic occurring when the skirt is tilted in such a way that the planet vanishes.
>>
Trick Nails - Nails that seem just like normal nails, but they turn to dust when exposed to powerful light or heat
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>>48449132

Pretty sure casting a spell counts as "any action," even if it's verbal components only. After all, the words are just verbal components to help craft and frame the magical powers which you're manifesting.
>>
>Goggles of cloudy vision

Allows the wearer to catch glimpses of the future, but this premonitions are always full with background noise and the pictures they may show are covered in thick fog. No magic can make them clearer.

>Necklace of the Flyspeaker

Allows the wearer to understand flies and to speak to them. Flies don't have anything interesting to say,though,being so small,stupid and short-lived.

>Elven Amulet of Capillar Glory

The powers in the amulet cause its bearer to grow a glorious elven beard. Effects may vary depending on the setting.
>>
>>48442433
The Elevator of Might

>An elevator that grants tremendous power to plus sized weapons while wielded inside.
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The Ring of Murinus: one per hour you may summon an ordinary mouse anywhere within arm's reach.
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>>48455901
Does "within arm's reach" mean "can be reached with the wearer's arm" or "is within an arm-length radius of the wearer?" With the second, you could summon the mouse inside things, like a box you can't open with something you want to destroy inside, or an instant kill on anything you can grapple (whoops there's a mouse in your brain).
Either way, you could also use it for food.
>>
>>48442468
For weakening foes
>>48442533
Better then 100 iron daggers
>>48442615
Ruin long haul magical castings or a nobles speach. I would give a -1 to things like pick lock too
>>48442687
Leafs and shit become food.
>>48442725
So truth Serum for anyone who can think
>>48442751
Why don't you go charge those orcs rival for womans heart
>>48442755
2d6+1d2+Str bludgeoning seems fine
>>48442883
That be some spooky ghost shit. As long a scoobydoo dosn't turn up and fuck me up
>>48442897
However if you plug your minions ears they then get a free round to attack!
>>48443004
Check for posion before the king eats
>>48443204
Pocket Squirrel! SHSHSA!
>>48443207
Try tracking me now coppers!
>>48444499
For the color blind
>>48444551
Pocket Buffalo! SHSHSA!
>>48444568
Ruin long haul magical castings or a nobles speach. I would give a -1 to things like pick lock too
>>48444658
Put it in a butt
>>48444677
begone depression
>>48444772 >>48444720
So its a ring that reads as magic. Hand over a magical item each, or we will kill you
>>48444865
Give it to a bard, not like they help in combat anyway.
>>48444936
Somthing your mum wears
>>48444974
Still %10
>>48445151
Carry lava, burn shit


Im done...sure I can use all the items in this thread but I dont want to do anymore
>>
>Ring of lynching
Commonly misspelled has 'liching'. This ring after an hour will cause an angry mob of peasants to show up and attack whoever is wearing the ring. If the ring is tossed off, the mob loses all interest and go back to their daily duties.
>>
>>48442433
>Belt of Spontaneous Launching
Upon rolling a 1 on any attack roll or skill check, the wearer is immediately launched 30ft into the air.
>>
>>48456291
What are you talking about? Depression is inconvenient.
>>
>>48444677
Given the number of foreign microbes your average human depends on to survive, this wand could lead to many slow and painful deaths.

My assassin just found a new weapon.
>>
Stone of Variable Weight - A fist sized stone that wildly varies in weight from one moment to the next. It can be so light the force of the air below it keeps it aloft, only to be one thousand pounds a moment later and crash down to earth.
>>
>>48457861
You could power some pretty awesome machinery with this.
>>
Autistic Painting - A painting of a beautiful woman whose eyes always seem to avoid your gaze, no matter what angle you view it from
>>
>>48457848
Yeah, but those aren't diseases.

A disease is defined as the disorder in the human body, not its cause. A spell that rusts weapons doesn't rust armor as well just because they're both made of metal.
>>
>Ring of Summoning Pumpkin
Can be used to summon any pumpkin you are on good terms with to your position.
>>
>>48457947
I dunno lactobaccilus acidophilus is technically an infection...

>Damnit, foiled again!

Umm... I suppose you could cure carriers that are immune... Which would be very handy in Left4Dead. [spoilers]Since it seems the survivors are actually the carriers of the rage virus.[/spoiler]
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>>48457941
>...and this painting, represents my life.
>>
>Doolittle's Helm
when you wear this helmet, you can talk to animals. But they don't listen.
>>
>>48458041
Being the carrier of a rage virus is kinda the definition of inconvenient.
>>
>>48458077
I start wearing it near my dog, get out a big chunk of meat near her, and say "I will give this to you if you confirm you want it".
What happens next?
>>
>>48458041
Yeah, but that's an extremely unlikely circumstance, which still fits OP's criteria.
>>
>Horn of Better Than Nothing

Once per day, the user may blow this horn to summon up precisely half as much food as its sounder and his or her companions need to survive--after accounting for what they already have. The horn appears to have some limited precognitive abilities, as it is able to tell the sounder's companions from other nearby individuals. Moreover, it can not only detect food present in its vicinity, but also the ability of its sounder to produce more (either by purchase, spells, or invoking favors). It will produce half as much food as is needed to make up the difference between what the sounder can obtain and what is needed for all to keep body and soul together. If the sounder and his or her companions are capable of obtaining enough food to survive without the horn's assistance, blowing it does nothing.
>>
>>48458117
She just bites it out of your hand, like any dog would.
>>
>>48458117
Same thing that'd happen if you did that without it, save it'd be less apt to hear you, I suppose.
>>
>>48458167
Does it mean that two those horns in close proximity cancel each other out so that both stop working at once?
Since, you know, I'm perfectly capable of getting food with another horn. Except I am not because now the horn doesn't work. Except now I am because now they do, etc.
>>
>Blade of Lamorak
A truly righteous sword, it refuses to do any harm unless wielded by someone pure of heart, in whose hands it becomes a nigh-unstoppable force.

>Valiant's Scabbard
Steadfastly holds on to any sword placed inside it, until danger arises - then the weapon leaps from its sheath to attack the enemy on its own, returning to the Scabbard after the danger is dealt with.

However, somebody stuck the Blade inside the Scabbard. So the Blade refuses to come out until enemies approach, at which point it starts flailing about on its own, completely ineffectively, since nobody at all is wielding it.
>>
>>48458233
when you do that, they both make a sound like "noooooobody liiiiiiiikes a smaaaaaartassssssss"
>>
>>48458251
>Blade of Lamorak
This will instantly become a plot device, involving an evil wizard with the sword, desperately seeking for someone with a pure heart, in order to mind control them.

Indeed, I think this very plot has already been done...
>>
>>48458251
It's supposed to be useless items.

Make the sword an item that can only be wielded by a hardcore pacifist.
>>
>>48458391
>>48458462
I'm not sure you read the entire post.

The blade is stuck in the scabbard now, nobody can wield it at all anymore.
>>
>>48446005
>vore

Of all the fetishes in the world, this is just the worst.
>>
Kalpamir Kleptzin was a great magician. Famous for his hypochondria and paranoia, he created many utterly pointless magical items.

>Ring of Second Opinion
If you are ever in doubt, gazing at the ring will confirm what you already think.

>Mithril-foil Hat
If anyone is scrying on you, you won't notice.

>Spectacles of Hindsight
Alters the wearer when they've incurred mortal wounds or fatal diseases from which they will not recover. If recovery is still possible, the glasses do nothing.
>>
>>48458492
Oh... I didn't realize the Blade wasn't THE BLADE, and was instead the Blade of Lamorak, apparently.
>>
>>48458502
I think it's scat.
>>
>>48458568
>Alters the wearer when they've incurred mortal wounds or fatal diseases from which they will not recover. If recovery is still possible, the glasses do nothing.
Well, at least you know when to start on your bucket list.
>>
>>48458599
It's actually Ohio.
>>
>>48458626
>yfw you know that meme
>>
>>48458573
>Ring of Plot Device Dispersal

Whenever the game master comes up with a good plot device to move the campaign forward, it will instantly vanish. Not effective against bad plot devices. Also, the player to your left must punch you with each activation.
>>
>>48458568
His greatest creations, however, were a series of longcoats, the Bracelets of Ambush Avoidance.

The first bracelet was created so that it would warn him if he was about to be ambushed by an assailant. However, it would not work on TWO attackers, so the Bracelet of Ambush Awareness mk.2 was created. The problem was, that since he already had a bracelet to protect him from a lone attacker, the mk.2 ONLY detected assailants working in tandem. So he wore them both at the same time.

But of course, that wouldn't suffice for three attackers, so mk.3 was created, which ONLY detected a trio of ambushers, and so on. He continued to wear all the bracelets at once, all the time.

Kleptzin got as far as the Bracelet of Ambush Awareness mk.76 when he was tragically stabbed to death by 77 gnomes at the same time. And unfortunately, save for the Bracelet of Ambush Awareness mk. 61, all the rest were destroyed in a house fire.
>>
>>48458233
No, when you blow 2 of the horns one after another, they continue to give you half as much as you need to survive. So you have 50%. Blow another, it'll give you 25%, again, half of that. Classic "move half the distance to your objective" conundrum. But you never have enough to survive, thus dying.
>>
>>48458749
Judging by how our last campaign went, I think I *am* a Ring of Plot Device Dispersal.
>>
>>48458798
AMAZING.
>>
>>48442433
A Cursed Ring of Curse Breaking.
Equipping the Cursed Ring of Curse Breaking breaks any other curse on another item, but the ring is now stuck on your finger until you break its curse.

This curse has no negative effects other than feeling slightly too tight at all times regardless of the actual size of the finger the ring is on.
>>
The Longbow of Stubborn Refusal

This is an average Longbow that doesn't like to be fired. It only allows itself to be strung long enough to be fired once if it is completely convinced that the person it is harming is deserving of death. Convincing the Longbow is a 1 hour long task requiring 3 checks on your wisdom and intelligence, and requires full concentration. Failing a check means the now isn't fully convinced. The bow will only let you attempt to convince it to fire one arrow per person, and only likes to shoot people once. Second checks on the same person double the time required to convince the bow.
>>
>Wand of identification
Identifies anything touched by the wand, so long and the user has already identified that item before.

>Club of sealing
Deals damage and has a chance of sealing the enemies magic abilities, only works on animals.

Truly useless inventions

>Bow of harping

A bow that was modified to have 4 strings. Each string is weaker and unable to shoot arrows but together the bow requreqs more force and is impossible to be drawn. Intended to be a super bard weapon, it is impossible to tune, and impossible to shoot.

>The battle staxe of magic.
Another invention, created by melding a magical staff with a hardened crystal axe head which can store magic. Unfortunately most wizards are too weak to swing the heavy weapon, and most fighters hate being zapped by magic when they are unable to use the magic side.

Mages never give up behold...

>The mace of smiting and healing.
This mace is imbued not only with smiting magic but attached to the mace is a SECOND mace. Imbued with magics that heal on touch. Yes. A truly double edged mace.
Unfortunately the healers and paladin's kept forgetting which side was which. Party members complained after 34 incidents involving massive blood loss, 1 accidental death, and 12 instances where the healing was negated by the damage dealt.
However, undead killing went up over 100â„….

And finally, the masterwork item. My life's work

The backstabbing blades of blundering bastards.
A powerfully enchanted blade set which crits on a 2-20 but a mistake ade when forming it requires you to hit the back of anything you cut, otherwise you immediately fail to cut. It is a powerful item if used correctly unless you cannot find the back but WAIT THERES MORE. We know finding backs is hard so we added a second knife. Which will automatically target the back of any enemy you face unfortunately this causes most people to immediately twist and break their spines. DC18 con to resist
>>
>>48459107

>Wand of identification
Sounds super useful for a wizard who has trouble keeping track of their immense collection of relics.
>>
>>48460923
I wasn't thinking about that...but now it makes sense.

>Eh. Where's that thingamajig.
>Ah here it is. No wait this is a hoowhatsit.
>Wait no. Hmm...hrmm, aha my wand
>Whats this thing *touch*
>Oh, its a hingderjigger
>I better put it with my others....
>Now where did I put the others.
>Ehhh forget it, I won't forget where I put it.
>>
>Potion of Feign Invisibility

This magical potion grants its drinker the appearance of invisibility for 1d6 hours. Any individual who views the drinker during this time must make a DC 20 Will save or else be convinced that the drinker is invisible, but that he (the viewer) has somehow gained the ability to see invisible creatures. Any action which would dispel normal invisibility will also cancel the effects of this potion.
>>
>Wand of Self-Resurrection

This item is identical to a normal Wand of Resurrection, except that it can only be used upon the individual invoking it, and is unable to affect on the undead.
>>
>Helm of Impossible Value

Although this appears to be a worn and dented helmet of little note, it is in fact imbued with a powerful magic which renders its value literally less than nothing. Any intelligent creature viewing this helmet is able to immediately ascertain that the mere act of possessing it will lower their net worth; the only way to divest oneself of the item other than simply dropping it on the ground (it is not cursed, and can be thrown away with no difficulty) is to pay someone else to take it. Even those interested in studying the seeming impossibility of a less-than-valueless item will be unwilling to accept it without some compensation.
>>
Lantern/Torch of Harmonious Light

The lantern/Torch has a magic light that only gets brighter as it comes closer to another light source.
>>
>>48449122
Thing is I'm picturing how long a human breath lasts and imagining these people blinking in and out of invisibility as they inhale.
>>
>>48449288
I certainly admire your outlook on life, but I find that it doesn't quite hit the mark.

I agree that actions, as well as words, are important, certainly, but these are simply indicators.
Imagine, if you will, a man who is without arms or legs, furthermore, this man is mute. He can not display his inner character, but does this mean he can not be a good man? Does his inability to act rob him of his quality as well?

I would rather say that it is a man's CONVICTION that is the most important measure of him. A man who's personal creed is a righteous one will surely have it be evident in his words and deeds, for that is the river which comes from the spring of one's heart.

Keep your conviction steady, and your actions and words are sure to follow.
>>
>>48458967
Sounds like a fine trade-off, if either the first curse was particularly nasty, or you had tons of cursed items on you for some reason.
Also, does it break the curses on any items you start to wear after starting to wear the ring? If yes, it might make you forget curses ever existed.
>>
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>>48442433
>Ring of Feline Grace

Wearer will always land on their feet. Does not negate fall damage.
>>
>Victim's Tunic
The wearer gains the ability to feel pain on command, and is able to control its intensity and location.
>>
>>48464548
Isn't landing in a right way actually a way to negate some of the fall damage anyway?
Not talkind about D&D, talking about real life. Sure, there's a point after which it is useless, but if the item allows you to always land on your feet no matter how you were falling, it might actually save you sometimes.
>>48463396
Already answered this one: >>48432739
In three words: positive feedback loop.
>>
>>48464556
Might be good for M people and maybe for safe pain resistance training.
If the pain turns off after you faint, it's even safer for both of those categories. If it doesn't, it would be slightly dangerous to use.
>>
>>48463134
What about wearing it somewhere where you fear being mugged? Would it make the bandits/muggers believe you have nothing of value on you anyway?
It is pretty inconvenient that it can't be turned off, though.
Might also be good for pretending to be a useless bum, for example for some undercover investigation or something.
>>
>>48459107
>The battle staxe of magic
I'm not too informed about all the "magic knight" classes out there, is there nobody in them who can make use of this thing?
>The mace of smiting and healing.
Can't you just write down some memo on the mace in a way that is hard to erase or cover up to distinguish between the healing side and the hurting side?
>The backstabbing blades of blundering bastards
Since the blades were made separately and therefore should work fine separately, can't you just throw out the knife and use the overpowered blade normally? Also, what if you throw the knife at an enemy before it twists your spine?
>>
>>48442433
+3 logbow. It's really cumbersome and quite difficult to draw back the string.
>>
>>48449122
I know I'm late but can we upgrade the horn to a Aztec death whistle?
>>
>>48464641
Imagine landing at a 45 degree angle to the ground. Feet solidly parallel to the ground on impact. You fell 10 feet, but holy shit are your ankles broken.
>>
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>>48456559
>Immortal Ring of the Paper Lich

A fine band of yellowing paper covered in delicate writing. It isncredibly fragile, but will reform several minutes after it is destroyed or broken. It often reappears around old books or ink.

When worn the wearer becomes immortal, and the ring becomes a temporary phylactery. If the ring is removed or damaged in any way the host dies.
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>>48465962
Couldn't you wear a normal ring above it?
It's thin after all.
Maybe even make something custom so that it's more comfortable to wear.
Maybe get this piece of paper inside of some kind of hollow mythril ring whose outer side is made out of segments and is detachable. And then test it on somebody else, in case the magic doesn't work for some reason.
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>>48466017
Sliding another ring over it would tear it, so would trying to encase it in another material or trying to reinforce it. It's fragile enough that it might break as you put it on. And any time it is damaged it basically respawns a few feet away. Nine times out of ten it will be damaged immediately after respawning, so that it essentially travels indefinitely until it lands safely. The definition of damage is stupidly broad, anything from complete disintegration to a small speck of dirt. It's bullshit.

I was picturing a scenario where a cocky teenager who fancies himself an adventurer wanders into a shop that 'wasn't there yesterday and was never there tomorrow', and being sold a 'ring of immortality' by the elderly wizard behind the counter.

The joke I guess is that the ring is immortal, but the wearer tends to die. I'm sure the paper lich thought it was very funny.
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>>48442433

>The Indestructible Bottle

It's a glass bottle, completely translucent, as if made of pure glass, has no cap, or cork, and holds ~2 l of liquid.
Other than that it is completely indestructible. No exceptions.
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>Amulet of an Ass

Makes donkeys around you look at you.
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>>48451654
Seems like a trap maker could do some pretty interesting feats with these depending on sensitivity.
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>>48442433
A backpack that makes all of the items you put in it weigh nothing but the backpack itself increases in weight when items are added.
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>>48442433
>The transmutation chamber

a small glass box with a removable lid, when you place objects inside it the turn to solid gold. When you attempt to remove the items they return to their former state.
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>>48465962
What happens if an actual lich puts it on?
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>leg day leggies

a pair of pants that when worn increase the size of your quads until they shred, thus reversing the effects.
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>>48444936
homless disguise
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>>48445797
And then they burn you for being a witch.

Just as planned.
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>Bodice of Perfect Fit
This bodice is sized for a well endowed woman, and any humanoid that dons it will have their form adjusted if necessary to fill it to a comfortable fit.
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>>48451654
what about trick nails that turn to smoke when hammered.
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>>48466955
Forget Ron Paul - THIS will make anime real!
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A pen that never runs out of ink!

But because it is conventional ink with no special properties or even particularly striking color, it's not really that useful for anything other than cutting down on your stationery budget. Who has ever actually bought their own pens, though?

>>48466955
So it's literally any normal non-magical bodice. Because that's how bodices are designed and work anyway.
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>antimagic amulet

a magic amulet that makes it impossible for the wearer to wear magical items including the amulet.
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>>48457940
you would have to find some way of storing the energy because of the irregularity of up and down motion.
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>>48466997
That pen's only going to be useful until you lend it out and never get it back, or otherwise lose it.

>Bag of many bags.
It's a bag that is full of bags, that are in turn full of bags. You can never store anything in any of the bags because they are by definition full. They also weigh a ton as a result.
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Fight Money: An arcane currency that can only be spent on activities related to fighting. Attempts to spend it otherwise will always be refused at best, and involve interplanal police intervention at worst (similar to what happens to people who keep passing bad checques)

Vector Bow: An enchanted bow that when fired, causes the arrow to initially vanish, then instantly appear at the target location an appropriate time later. The bow has no special accuracy, and the point of impact is exactly as it would be with an equivalent normal bow. Because magic, the physics also work out entirely the same in terms of energy to target, penetration, etc.

Traction Rod: A rod that, when left on a surface, is incredibly difficult to drag against the surface. It can be picked up normally or rolled along the surface, however.

Scroll of Harmony: When used on any mundane instrument, it causes the instrument to produce the sound of multiple quieter instances of itself in harmony, similar to the effects of a bagpipe.

>>48449214
So, like early 3d games where they couldn't afford the extra polys to render pantyshots so there's just a black void instead? I like it!
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>>48457861
This is literally the magic sci-fi element in Mass Effect that powers literally everything in the setting.
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Invisible Coat: You probably read The Emperor's New Clothes as a kid and know where this one is going.
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>Box of Heavy Holding
Taking the form of a crate chest or other form of box this container holds three times as much room as it should. However anything placed in the box weighs ten times as much.

>>48466997
A man wearing a normal bodice does not become well endowed.
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>>48467125
>A man wearing a normal bodice does not become well endowed.
I don't think you're trying hard enough. Give those laces some damn elbow grease and you'll make a pair of pecs at least look like As.

Also you know that bodices are one-size-fits-all in real life, right? They do up with laces, and you literally can't put one on or take it off (assuming it's properly worn) without undoing the laces.
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+1 Trash Can.

It's a trash can, but marginally more accurate and eight hundred times the price.
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>>48467146
Perhaps, but it won't be as comfortable.

Anyways maybe I should have chosen another article of clothing to the same effect.
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>>48467177
shoulda done a bra or something, because bodices are adjustable and by nature always fit whereas bras are not adjustable and even ones that "should" fit usually don't
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Patch of Matching
This nondescript strip of material, when applied to an article of clothing or piece of armor causes all items other worn with it to match the applied items color, style, aesthetics and apparent quality. The patch itself is not visible when so used but can be felt, removed and used again.
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Ring of flight

Allows the wearer to fly but only downwards at a very fast speed.
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>>48467225
Also this is more of a minor item than useless item but eh.
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>>48467249
Might be useful in space.
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>>48467265
There is no up or down in space
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Ring of Illusiuary Illusion.
When worn those who look at you seem to think what they're looking at isn't really there or that your appearance is magically altered.
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>>48467249
Combine this with feather fall or whatever the fuck it's called, and you could bring new meanings to the phrase "curbstomp"

>>48467278
if you define "down" by local gravity, then you could use it for some hella fast space flights by slingshotting around planets and the fields of stars and shit.
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>>48467278
If you're in one of those planes where down is merely arbitrarily subjective it would sure work.
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>>48467278
In low gravity environments then. Or underwater.
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Paints of Scents
If these paints are used to create an image of something which normally has an odor, than the painting will produce a powerful version of that odor.
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>cursed helm of gorgathula

a helm that's stats are on par with any in the realm. The helm is bound until death to any who touch it and they must carry it around and have a constant urge to don it. however with in five seconds of putting it on the are compelled to remove it.
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>>48467075
>(similar to what happens to people who keep passing bad checques)
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>>48467353
they eventually get brought to court for fraud

and being fraudulent with your fight money is the worst of the worst offences
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>>48467364
You could probably spend it in any way you see fit, as long as you punch the person you give it to
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>>48449122

And if the horns were actually vuvuzelas?
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>Ring of Blindsight

Upon putting on this ring, the wearing can't see shit.
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>>48467060
use it as ammo for your catapult
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Ring of Whispers
When wearing this ring you can clearly hear the quietest of sounds. However hearing anything approaching a nearby normal speaking voice will deafen you for 1d4 minutes.
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>>48442433
>Ring of Jolting
Wearer experiences an extremely mild and harmless electrical current. Works only when worn by a humanoid.
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>>48467374
You could conceivably spend it on pretty much anything a normal PC group would be buying, since that's basically comes down to weapons, ammo, armor, and FightWear Accessories
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>>48467410
It'd be a really incontinent rock then. Still has the give of a bag full of bags after all. No doubt that wouldn't curb it's impact terribly much, but just imagine trying to load one, it'd be drooping and sagging everywhere, whoops slipped and now you have 2 of them and one less member on the catapult team.
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>>48467476
my catapult teams are expendable, free ammo is not.
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>>48467444
fug
i want this. it feels so good when you have a mild electric current going through your arm.
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Calm Mind Amulet
While wearing this amulet, anything the wearer would perceive as scary or a threat is instead perceived as something innocuous.
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>>48467449
Of course that's true, but if they know what kind of money it is why would they accept it? They can't actually do anything with that money. Even if paying for materials to make weapons weren't a bridge too far, what would THEY do with it, except buy back the finished product?

The only stable use for fight money is going back and forth on gladiator bets.
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The Ceramic Plate Of The Hungry

Once a minute, if you scratch metal (like a fork) over the surface of the plate, it summons one (1) rice. The sound of the scratching is also annoying as fuck.
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Charm of Fickle Desires
Any person seeing this unexceptional looking trinket is possessed of a moderate desire to possess it. When held, carried on their person or stored in a nearby container they own the owner finds themselves unable to care about it and are mildly annoyed by its presence. If sold, given away taken it lost they however are filled with regret and longing to have it back. This sensation weakens after a month without it but never goes away.
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>>48467364
Yeah, but if you're Frank Abagnale Jr., you wind up having a sex filled wild ride for a couple of years, and then end up with a cushy job as a security consultant for the Interplanar Police force. Provided you can dodge Tom Hanks for long enough.
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Spectacles of Beat Domineering
Allows you to swap your consciousness into any living animal you look at.
Does not allow you to swap back.
Does not change the animal's brain in any way merely places your consciousness into it, leading to you immediately becoming as intelligent as the animal you domineered.
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>>48467057
Lever, cog.
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>>48467595
Actually drop the container part and just make it when owned at all. If you're able to ignore having it at all its less annoying.
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>>48458034
What if I know a character called Pumpkin?
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Wand of Raze Dead
When used in a corpse it becomes broken and mangled
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>>48467689
*on
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>>48467655
>tfw no pumpkin qt character to summon.
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>>48467689
The corpse is broken and mangled, or the wand?
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Cup of Never Ending Thirst
Drinking from this cup makes you thirsty regardless of what liquid you drink from it.
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>>48467736
Great for torturing someone.
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Collar of the Mouser
When placed onto a carnivorous pet their skill and desire to hunt down rodents increases tenfold and is immune to any diseases they may carry. Additionally, it causes a similar increase in the ability of rodents to multiply within ten miles of its location, and if less than a dozen rodents are present in that space more rodents of random types will be summoned from elsewhere. All rodents in this area will feel a minor compulsion to converge on this items location.
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>>48467712
The corpse, otherwise the name wouldn't work so well.
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Petticoat of Pettiness.
Wearing this coat causes the wearer to act petty and childish.
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Knife of Pacifism
It´s power is stronger the more the person wielding it wants to do no harm to anyone.
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>>48458167
Horn of Better than Nothing?

You mean it summons a copy of Mighty No. 9?
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Rock of the Sun

This rock becomes warm to the touch when placed in direct sunlight for an hour or two.
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>>48466490
Does it belong to a black Scottish cyclops?
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Goggles of Blingsight
The user is blinded while wearing these goggles, but can see jewellery such as amulets and rings, even through solid material and walls.
Not useless, just wanted to use the misspelling for something.
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>>48458233
Since each horn counts both the other horns blown in the past and the ones that may be blown in the future, any n horns blown together will produce n/(n+1) of the required amount of food. For four horns, each would know that the other two produce 1/5 the amount, leaving 2/5 left. It would decide in turn to make half of 2/5, or 1/5, the amount.
This would be wonderful for a castle under siege, but also lets a group know that they're not going to make it.
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>>48467959
I thought that one could break?
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>>48467985
Not for years now. Apparently idiots believed it did more damage or caused bleed when broken.
And of course the Scottish Handshake could never break.
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>>48468008
Ah, that's why, I haven't played for a long, long time.
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>>48467104
>literally
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>>48466762
Decent way to render certain objects inert. Magic ice can't melt before it's used if it's currently gold, tissue samples from a vampire won't turn to dust in the sun if they're gold, the dying king of mice can't pass on from poisoning if his failing heart is as gold as the rest of him, etc. A de facto stasis chamber.
>>48466730
Perfect for shit you can't usually jam in a sack because they'll get crushed by the weight of everything else. Eggs and bread, for example.
>>48466905
It temporarily has multiple phylacteries, similar to a demi-lich, except one of them registers as on their person. If the adventurers have no reason to suspect that there are other phylacteries, and why would they, and this one keeps respawning nigh instantly, then it could work as an excellent distraction and 'explanation' for why the lich yet still terrorizes the world.
>>48466955
I've known plenty of obese women with proportionally small breasts anyways that would have loved a way to redistribute their body fat like that.
>>48467075
>Traction Rod
Magical braking system. Emergency magical braking system. Get some rope around it, tie the other end to what needs to be stopped, toss it behind you, and hold onto for your life.
>>48467125
A lot of the items in these kinds of threads can easily be made into engines. Get two boxes of heavy holding, put them on a see-saw set to make downward force do work, then get a rope and weight system above them to pack and unpack each box automatically by normal see-saw motion, like to bags being dipped into two teapots next to each other.
>>48467410
Or fuel. Hey, if you set a bag of bags on fire, and it burned to ash, would the bags of bags within it flop out also on fire? If so, would we suddenly have exponentially self-replicating fire heaps quickly engulfing the planet?

Eh, the fire would probably go out once the heap reached space or consumed all usable oxygen on the planet. A small percentage of us would be fine.
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Ring of Joy and Pain
When worn, while resting the user experiences feelings of happiness comfort and mild euphoria. Any interruption of this or removal of the ring however, results in the sharp pain of being kicked hard in the groin. The experience takes place regardless of the condition or presence of said groin. If the ring is disabled temporarily or permanently the fading magics cause this experience repeatedly for ten minutes.
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>>48469409
>Hey, if you set a bag of bags on fire, and it burned to ash, would the bags of bags within it flop out also on fire? If so, would we suddenly have exponentially self-replicating fire heaps quickly engulfing the planet?

If a fire is large enough, could it extinguish itself from using up all available oxygen before more oxygen has time to displace? Like, would a mega-fire similar to what's described have a chance of just going out on it's own while leaving us at least some air to breathe?
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>>48469529
Seems like that unless it's in an enclosed space there will always be enough oxygen at the outside to at least smoulder. If it is in an enclosed space the area will be absolutely filled before it burns itself out.
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Tankard of Any Liquid- Any liquid poured into this tankard becomes a liquid of the pourer's choice. The liquid automatically reverts upon leaving the Tankard. I've thought of a few ways to use this, though.
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Thing of Uselessness

This thing will be useless in every situation.
>>
A minor cursed item I've never gotten around to using was the Cursed Coupon.
Small piece of paper that reads "Good for 20% off one meal at The Duke's Cockatrice in New Cresthill.", you can not get rid of any non-magical means besides finding the location and spending the coupon. The paper will not tear or burn, and any writing or smudging quickly disappears.

I like the concept of the item, makes sense to me somehow as an interesting ad campaign, and then it occurred to me that this would be a pretty good way to nudge players while keeping it open world.
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>>48470319
Excellent for comic relief.
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>>48470437
No, it's useless at that.
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>>48470499
If it failed at comic relief, using it with the intention to fail at something, it would have to succeed at the attempted use. In doing so, it would make the joke fall flat, but would still do the useful thing.
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>>48470737
Not necessarily; it could be the definition of useless and neither aid nor hinder you in your attempts - woe betide the party that uses your line of thinking and attempts to let the BBEG win.
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>>48470737
It might give rise to a situation one could consider humorous, however it's magic prevents observers from feeling good about it in any way.
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>>48470844
So, it's an object with a subtle mind magic that makes people feel like it's useless?
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>>48470894
Sure why not? Seems like the kind of item a smart-ass wizard student would make for their final. Even even he didn't feel any satisfaction when it worked as intended.
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>>48471011
*even if
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Ring of failure, whoever wears this ring becomes the embodiment of bad luck. the user and everything around then takes -100,000,00 off any dice rolls whatsoever. catch is, some intelligence being has to be wearing it and it has a range limit.
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>>48471261
>Ring of the Protagonist
As above, but the penalty only applies to wisdom rolls (or the system's equivalent).
>>
>>48466909
>>48466955
My magical realm is growing stronger
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Ring of Failure
The wearer of the ring must make a d20 save for every action, otherwise they instantly fail the task, although never disastrously (unless failing the task would lead to a disastrous situation with or without the ring)

This includes attempting to remove the ring.
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>Bag of Hindsight

A small bag that, when opened, simultaneously opens a portal on the opener's back the same size as the opening of the bag, that the bag directly links to.

I'm trying to think of any practical uses that might make this item useful, and thus irrelevant to the thread, but all I got was:
>Sitting in chair
>Want drink
>Goblet is on table behind you
>Instead of getting up and turning around, just open bag, see goblet, reach in and grab it
>>
The Top Hat of Undress

Anyone wearing the hat will appear in only a top hat and their underwear to any observers.
>>
Bracers of Reversal

The hands of the wearer swap sides i.e. your left hand is now on your right wrist and vice versa.
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Ring of Pointless Hydrophobia

Allows wearer to breathe underwater. Does not work when submerged.
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>>48471577
>disguise finger as algae, swamp grass, reeds, etc.
>expose only that concealed finger while you hide underwater

it's a magical breathing straw
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>>48471617
Alternatively you could just have a regular breathing straw and sell the ring?

Plus with both hands underwater you could actually swim.
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>>48471668
Nah, the ring works.
>wizards
>using a breathing straw
>or being able to swim
Also, who actually puts points into swimming?
>>
Magic Mirror of Slowness - a handheld talking mirror that will tell you what will happen in 1 minute's time, however the mirror speaks very slowly and will take at least 2 minutes to finish telling your future.
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>>48471668
>attempting to swim with a -30 for clothing
>not just sidestroking to keep the hand above water
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>>48471385
Anti-backstab device, obviously.

Also potential sexploits.
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>>48471457
Assassin needs to sneak into a whore house.
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>>48470420
You might not have heard of it, but this is quite similar to something from Welcome to Night Vale (the novel based on the podcast).
One of the protagonists has a piece of paper with "KING CITY" written on it that returns intact to her hand no matter what she does with it - dropping it, burning it, tearing it, whatever.
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>>48472817
Damnit, you went and found a way to make >>48458749 useful.
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>Ring of No Second Chances
Whenever you make to determine any kind of success or failure, you roll once more. You must then use the previous result.
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>The Other Ring of Power
The wearer remains completely visible to the rest of the world. However everything else becomes invisible to the wearer.
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"The Cloak of Needing Hemming"
The cloak will magically become a few inches longer than the wearer, meaning he will constantly be tripping over it and it will track through mud and slime. It reverts to a normal size when removed.
>>
>>48444793
>Misinterpreting clear rules to one's own ludicrous advantage

People like you are the reason some DM's want to doublecheck everything.
>>
Cursed Ring of Ringing

Causes the wearer to develop mild tinnitus
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>>48442433
Helm of Psychological Protection
Any time you might see something that would alarm you, the helm snaps shut.
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>>48467865
Jackie Chan could cut a mountain with this thing.
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>>48444865

>and his name is
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>>48467865
Perfect for nonviolent uses. Food prep, carving, etc.
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>>48442468
Swap your husband's wedding ring with it so when he beats you it hurts less.
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>>48444938
what? saran wrap?
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>>48449922
lol and the only thing people could see is a vagina
>>
>>48457941
>meet a perfect 10/10 girl who's really into you
>she's autistic and has a shit personality
=(((
>>
>>48472817
Interesting, I've heard of the podcast, hadn't kept up, haven't seen the novel, will take a look.

The nature of the paper is certainly similar, though the part I like about the coupon is the in game justification for the effect. Still, interesting.
>>
>>48470200
Picks lava, pours water into the tankard, it melts, water leaks out.
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>>48454102
>elven beard
kek
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Hourglass of Time Travel
When activated, rewinds time in 10 hours. Your body and brain are also rewinded.
It can also stop time completely for 2 minutes. For everyone.
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>>48464904
>logbow
HA!
>>
>>48442433
>Orb of the Unknown
Allows you to communicate with creatures that don't and have never existed.

>Rod of Redenbacher
Slowly roasts popcorn kernels over 10 minutes to create 1d4 bowls of popcorn. Can also be used to unpop popcorn.

>Clown's Crucible
Open the lid to create a horn honking noise. Lid must be closed to use again.

>Blandy Stick
Perform a little jig in front of any food to remove all flavor from it. Cannot be undone.
>>
Glasses of truth. Allows you to read written truth. Since every language is approximation and metaphors you cant read anything except maybe some supermagical ancient primordial stuff written by gods.
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>>48476468
Anon why
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>Ring of Many Fingers
A ring that changes which finger it's on when you look away.

>Helmet of Dequipping
A helmet that causes you to make a will check every twenty minutes. Trying to equip it is another will check. If the helmet is hit, another will check. If someone or you mentions the helmet, will check. For every two will checks you pass, you must make a third that isn't counted towards the two. If you fail any of these checks, you are compelled to take it off and put it on the ground against your will.

>Stick of Throwing
A stick that you can throw very far. Does no damage and lands completely silent.
>>
The Stick of Shit

A stick that has been dipped into shit, however no matter what end you hold it you will always be holding the shitty end.
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>>48483576
Could use it to masquerade as a peasant at a moment's notice.

>The guard are coming, looking for us! Quick, tear up your clothes, grab The Stick of Shit, and rub it on you a bit. That'll hide you but proper!
>>
>>48477651
>JOHN CENA!
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>>48446005
DARE YOU WEAR MY MAGICAL REALM!?!
>>
>>48458502
No. Vore is weird and gross, but at least he's not a cuck.
>>
> The Crown of Privilege

The wearer gains the power of privilege of white, middle-class male without bearing the cross of white guilt.
>>
>>48480940
>Orb of the Unknown
>Allows you to communicate with creatures that don't and have never existed.
So I can ask God any question!?

* tips rules lawyer fedora *
>>
I came up with the womb dagger. I am not proud of it but I wanted to confess.
>>
>>48486151
so, it does nothing...
>>
Stone of the Ages.
A small stone with a rune on it. When dropped or thrown it dissapears and then reappears at a random place and time.
>>
Ring of Icarian Flight:
Jump a thousand times greater, but land just as badly as before.
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>>48442751
Perfect for getting rid of rivals, poison is too obvious, let the idiot challenge someone/thing powerful and die
>>
>>48488511
It might make people look at you weird for wearing a crown in daylight.
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>>48449214
So basically a place to store knives and poison which nobody can see?
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>>48488627
What, you want the One Ring?
Well, here, catch.
>tie ring to Stone of Ages
>throw it and watch the fallout
>>
>>48488627
So basically, a potential murder weapon that destroys its own evidence.
>>
>>48471486
A Rakshasa could put these on and claim to just be a catfolk. Or vice-versa.
>>
>>48467387
But they can still smell it.
>>
>>48463992


I guess they're gonna have to teach the army how to circular breath.
>>
Ring of Reflecting Illusions - Appear as anyone you can visualize, but only within the confines of a mirror and only to yourself.
>>
>>48496173
Free porn
>>
>Quiver of Consolation
Magically carves the word "sorry" into the shaft of any arrow contained within.
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>>48480699
So it's basically a load to your last autosave function. Seems useful for say, gambling.
>>
>>48481297
>Stick of Throwing
How far are we talking here and can you attach anything to it?
>>
>>48479046
>cutting turkey
>it explodes from the sheer force of that knife i bought from that shady dude
What the fuck he owes me a turkey.
>>
>>48489226
Haha i get it
>>
Amulet of Remorseful Charity- When given to a foe in battle, it allows them to sense nearby clouds by smell. (The wearer smells dung, and the smell gets stronger the closer you are to a cloud.)
However, the magic attached to the amulet isn't stable and isn't detected normally. In fact- it's impossible to tell the amulet is in fact magic, and it's true abilities can only be discerned through intense study.
>>
>>48442751
Sooo, alcohol?
>>
>Amulet of gills-
Allows the users lungs to process water as if air, but only when submerged under water. After becoming submerged however, your lungs lose function to process air.

Removing the amulet removes the effect but not the water still sitting in your lungs.
>>
Mood Ring
Originally thought be magical, the ring is actually purely mundane. It's color changes depending on the temperature of the skin it's connected to.
>>
>>48497751
As far as you can see, very precisely.

Anything above 1/4th the weight of the small stick causes it to lose the effect.
>>
>>48498425
Well I guess you could attach and send messages with it at least.
>>
>>48498624
Imagine if you will two generals commanding great armies, throwing back an forth a stick across the battlefield. A letter attached every time with a different insult each time.
>>
>>48442725
Pooka juice!
>>
>>48471577
Cut your ring finger off, wear the ring, go have underwater fun.
>>
>>48494703
Digeridoo of Invisibility. I like it.
>>
>>48443204
Very useful for druids, or anyone with animal empathy.
>>
File: image.png (321KB, 413x403px) Image search: [Google]
image.png
321KB, 413x403px
>>48467075
>Vector Bow
>>
>>48445748
>body
>can't be dried
>>
>>48457947
So it has to be a bad enough infection to be considered a disorder, but good enough to not be inconvenient in any way?
It's a fucking stick.
>>
File: 1451898264497.png (330KB, 330x319px) Image search: [Google]
1451898264497.png
330KB, 330x319px
>>48480276
>>
>Hat of autism
It's a normal hat, but when worn it instantly gives the wearer low-functioning autism. The effect persists after taking it off and is considered mundane.
>>
Mosquito Wand: This extremely simplistic magical item contains the essence of a single mosquito . When used, this wand releases the mosquito, and reverts to being a regular stick.
>>
>>48466362
>"Damage" means anything that I want can make it stop working
That's not how definitions work, anon.
Just cover the ring in sap and magically age until amber.
>>
>>48468008
They removed the bottle breaking for the same reason they removed organ gibs, memory allocation problems. It should come back after the engine overhaul
>>
>>48467278

Could be the direction your feet are pointing.
>>
>>48480592
It's both amazing and utterly free.
>>
>>48480996
Relevant xkcd (435)
>>
>>48481297
Set off traps.
>>
>>48498036
Have the party barbarian hold you by the ankles and drain it out.
>>
>>48490082
are crowns normally a night time accessory where you come from?
>>
>>48498803
I'd rule that the effect still applies on any section of the original stick as well.

So if one of them snaps it, you have two insult sticks to throw back simultaneously.
>>
>>48464556
Technically speaking a massage is just controlled, localized pain, so.
>>
>>48442433
One of my favorites is a magic item in one of our campaigns called the Ball of Slope Detection. You place it on a surface and it rolls in a direction and says in a whisper "Slooooooppeeee"
>>
>>48442433
-Fucken shinny thing:
Throw this useless bauble to distract 1 level 0 non combatant goblin or kobold for half a round in the vicinity of the affected space (does not leave them defenseless, but gives them a penalty to AC) and slows them down slightly for the duration of this effect. If there is more than one applicable target in the vicinity of the affected area, it only afflicts one of them at random.

Already thought about two ways to make it useful.
>>
>>48479194
>>>/pol/
>>
>>48467444
It ain't going on my finger...
>>
>>48445748
DONT LOSE YOUR WAY
>>
>Acid Arrow
Causes any target who comes into contact with the arrow to be overwhelmed with hallucinations.
>>
>>48514738
That would actually be quite useful for dealing with enemies. Just hit the most powerful monster in the group, and watch as they either go on a rampage through their allies, or just stop being useful altogether.
>>
>Sword of Bows
Due to an error in the inscription process, this sword causes any damage to be instantly bandaged by a neatly tied ribbon.
>Dual Wielding Amulet
Allows you to effectively dual wield with no penalty, however, you can only dual wield amulets.
>Dragonslayer
Another unfortunate inscription error, this armor makes you irresistible to dragons of the opposite gender.
Thread posts: 309
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