What's the worst thing to find in the entrance of a dungeon?

>>48372390
A note that says "We already looted everything of worth in this dungeon."

Another Ribbon thread.

Sphere of Annihilation

>>48372390
Ennui

>>48372390
A seamless portal to the Tomb of Horrors.

>>48372390
The end of the dungeon.

>>48372390
3 gnomes and a bucket

An impaled castrated man with his own testicles on his mouth.

>>48372390
Your own corpse from the future.
Also a magical realm.

>>48372390
A "under construction" sign

>>48372390
Your mom.

>>48372390
The same dungeon entrance that you just entered.

>>48372390

Sings of being looted and cleansed by a previous band of adventurers before you arrived.

The gear you are carrying but rotten and corroded as if it's been lying there for a decade.

A chest full of silver coins.

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>>48372568
Why would this be a bad thing to find?

A gift shop with a lot of unsold "I survived the Scary Dungeon!" t-shirts.

>>48372402
Seconded

>>48372390
The exit.
It's an arch.

>>48372390
Trespassing tax

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>>48372402
>>48372724
I too prefer Cestree.

>>48372710

Twice as heavy and half as valuable as gold.

Wet floors

>>48372821
Either start a cheesecake thread or fuck off

The tarrasque.

>>48372390
A skeleton, jaw frozen open in terror, crawling away from the entrace, it's leg bones shattered.

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>>48372823
Anon, an certain volume of silver is almost half the weight of an equivalent volume of gold.

The hell are you smoking?

>>48372390
A sign reading "FREE TREASURE AHEAD".

>>48372715
Are the t-shirts unsold because the dungeon is really boring and doesn't get many visitors? Or are they unsold because no-one has survived the dungeon?

>>48372390
Teeth

>>48372390

Your mother, since I can't reasonably carry enough supplies to get around her and actually get into the dungeon.

Dungeon boss running out of it in panic

>>48373224
Coins all weigh the same in DnD. It can be justified by differences in the size of the coins.

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>>48373247
I think this sign is worse to find.

>>48372390
A miniature dungeon. When you attempt to enter the normal dungeon next to the tiny one you are shrunk by a mad wizard who puts you into the miniature dungeon were you must fight insects like centipedes, spiders, and cockroaches that are now bigger than you. You get great loot at the end of it, but it doesn't go back to normal size when you do.

>>48372402
I really like Ribbon

For sale: baby shoes, never worn

>>48373415
I know if I said there was a sign like that in front of a cave, the players would insist on going inside because, "It's a trick. Who would put up a sign warning people there was nothing important inside?"

>>48372390
The Whizzard

>>48373453
Finally,I have found a fellow ~pedophile~ lover of cute things.

Challenge Rating 26 encounters inside.

A dragon using his back entrance of his lair as a toilet.

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>>48373507
That's because that sign IS a trick.

>>48373631
>>48373415
>>48373507

/r/ing the edited version

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A powerful seal.

A giant tongue.

>>48373271
Yes

A pokestop. With a lure on it.

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Glue

>>48373832
Gah fuck. I live right the fuck next to one and some group of idiots calling themselves Team Rocket gather around the place at midnight and sprint through my yard at all hours of the night cause they all lure the place up. And i had forgotten all about it too.
Cops said I can't even have my dogs escort them off my lawn like last time either and apparently shooting at them isn't recommended either.
Do you think if i wear a friends LARP armor and my Munich i could scare them off or at the very least die a worthy death?

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>>48372823
>>48372710

1/10 the worth of gold coins. Sorry for the autism.

>>48373937
Get water hose, spray them indiscriminately.

>>48374168
I did that didn't seem to stop them. The dogs did though like i said earlier the cops said I can't do that anymore without running the risk of them getting put down.
The time has come for Man to defend his Lands with Grit and Steel.

>>48373937
It's funny you say that, because my friends and I are planning to go to Otakon this year as Team Rocket. That was the plan before pokemon go even came out too.

As for getting rid of the dipshits, take a page from current events/TF2 and throw piss at them.

>>48373937
Use that Karl stuff and a gleaming sword and chase them off with sword swinging fear. Then run off and ignore the police if they come.

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>>48372390
>What's the worst thing to find in the entrance of a dungeon?

>>48374189
>the cops said I can't do that anymore
you're not allowed to have a dog guard your property anymore?

what the fuck

>>48374337
Well i've given them 5 times the legal amount of warnings and where i live trespassing can be a grounds for lethal force until police arrive.
-911 ring ring-
"Mumrrph! Eeeermuphhheer, mmuerpher! emerven."
-click-
What was that carl?
I...dunno sounded like some guy with a bucket on his head.....

And i'm in the clear to smite and cleave.

>>48372390
probably whatever riches or goldy or demonic weapons would lie at the end, now i cant go back as a noble would be king since i just obtained riches beyond measure and am no better that a jew.

>>48372390
>What's the worst thing to find in the entrance of a dungeon?

Another, smaller dungeon.

>>48374415
Okay so i CAN but that runs the risk of them being put down.

>>48374415

Criminals have more rights than homeowners nowadays. You can sue someone for hurting you while you rob them and win.

>>48372390
A sign reading "On vacations" and a locked door.
If the PCs force the door open, a small team of guardsmen is dispatched and tries to aprehend the group, charging them with breaking and entering.

If the PCs manage to avoid or murderhobo their way through the guard, they find the dungeon housing a modest collection of corsican cheeses. They can only be considered edible after passing a DC 20 CON check, and even then the taste is far into the "acquired" spectrum, and will disgust all but the most seasonned cheesemongers, and of course native corsicans.

Because the palatability of the cheese requires a very lenient definition of the word "edible" no merchant will buy the cheese off the PCs. Except for a hedonist cheesemonger said to live in a far off land. If the group decides to seek her, they find the road teeming with perils. Not the least of which is preventing the cheese from spoiling, and preventing its pungent odor from contaminating the rest of the adventurers' belongings.

Upon arriving at their destination, they find the cheesemonger nonplussed by their cheese, and only vaguely interested in purchasing it as a very smelly curio, for barely enough coppers to cover the group's nostrils.

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>>48373677

>>48373415
>>48373507
Well yeah. They sure as shit wont tell you when there is treasure. I say chase that suicidal dream. All you have to lose is your swag-lacking life if you can even call that living

>>48372390
A Do Not Enter sign.

>>48372390
the old waterfilled bucket on top the door trick.

>>48373937
Beat the fuck out of the weakest one.I mean like, he's crying and unable to get up beating.They can't legally prove it was you (as long as you don't leave any evidence such as DNA and such) and they won't come back.Or dig a big ass pit and say it was for a bunker.

>>48372390
>What's the worst thing to find in the entrance of a dungeon?

A line of other adventuring parties who arrived at the dungeon just before you did.

>>48373424
>spell of enlarge
>permanency combined with a wish for better results.

>>48372390
A whole company of cheering adventurers absolutely laden with gold and treasures celebrating them clearing out the dungeon completely.

>>48375826
"LFG DD Lv15+ only pls"

Jubilex running a kissing booth.

>>48372390

Themselves.

>>48375826
>wizard creates a pocket dimension dungeon
>resets after use, portal to various realms allows new enemies
>endless xp and treasure
>fabricate spells combined with wish spells to create decent treasure.

>>48375843
Sounds like easy loot to me

>>48375826
>pull a numbered ticker
>look at the clockwork counter: 12
>look back at the number you pulled: 96

Well fuck.

>>48375636
Unrated post

>You must be this tall to enter the dungeon.

>>48375905
Let me rephrase. A whole company of adventurers you have no hope of defeating, etc, etc.

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>>48372390
Pic related.

It was the beginning of one seriously whacked out adventurer with way to many time travel shenanigans that ended with us killing our future selves to stop them from killing our past selves and the god of time just peacing out because he didn't want to deal with all the shit we caused.

>>48372390
A one way door leading straight to the lowest levels.

>>48375977
Oh, then cheer for them, pretend to be happy and swear vengeance quietly.

>>48372390
Another "witty" limerick. YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU, TREVOR, I KNOW YOU BROWSE /tg/!

>>48376293
You have absolutely no proof

>>48375843
Absolutely laden, as in, heavy encumbrance penalties? >:D

>>48375977
ey, dickass! Got a favour to ask of you mate.

>>48372390
A door leading to the entrance to another dungeon which has an entrance to another dungeon ad infinity

>>48372390
A maze of twisty little passages, all alike

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>>48372390
Spoiled to protect those who are faint of heart.

>>48372390
a skeleton relaxing against the wall.

It's pelvis is pulverized.

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>>48372390
No bonfires or shortcuts.

>>48372390
A Grue in a dark room.

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Multiple iron golems forged into the shape of very heavy plate armor-clad knights, wielding equally large swords and shields, that are initially disguised as statues unless a spot check is succeeded.

>>48372390
Shitposts.

>>48372390
a really big pile of poop

>>48372401
At least they were considerate and didn't let you go in expecting to find things

>>48374415
>you're not allowed to have a dog guard your property anymore?

Yes and no.

The issue in most states is that most dogs (and any other animals) get put on a Dangerous Animals/Man-Biter list the moment they attack a person. In Texas, you get one or two "freebies," especially if the situation was justified (for example, my neighbors dog bit a girl because she walked up and literally smacked it in the face. Cops came, yelled at the girl, told guy that the dog "acted like any dog would and should," but to keep it better under control in case it causes serious harm to a person). After that, though, there is a chance the state can demand the animal be put down (especially if the bite is viscious and requires hospitalization) because of the chance it develops a taste for human flesh (which is a real thing).

Most cops are pretty reasonable about it, but the State is the State and does what it wants.

Good thing I live in Texas, where shooting people in the face is an acceptable solution to certain problems

>>48372390
Probably a black hole.

The BBEG.
"Fooled ya good, eh?"

>>48374189
Next time they show up just call the cops on them for trespassing. Use your cellphone to take timestamp pics of them as proof.

>>48373424
I'm taking this concept for my campaign. Thanks, anon.

>>48372390
A magical realm

Unless the party proceeds to destroy said magical realm

A comfy genkan, maybe? I'd be thrown off, having to remove my boots.

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4x Aurumvorax

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>>48372401
>>48378462
>the note is fake and is but the first layer of deceptions and devious traps that await inside.

>>48374189
>>48374168
>>48373937
Keep spraying until you drown their phones.

>>48383371
Lots of phones are waterproof.

A couple of Aussies egging you on to go on

>>48372390
A door

>>48372390
The exit.

>>48372390
A long, tedious, slow line of other adventures waiting their turn to go inside under the sun

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>>48384053
>fuckin go on ya cunt there's good shit inside you crazy drongo go grab it cunt

A toll gate.

Dead dwarves and goblin arrows.

>>48376027
Well that's the next quest.

We got to find Kilroy and find out what he saw.

>>48372390
a crusty sock on the front door

>>48378965
This.

For the topic, a big moat or other giant body of water that needs to be swum through. Except the water is sewage.

>>48375890
>one of the realms is the realm of chaos

>>48372390

A door that refuses to open because you must gather your party before venturing forth.

>>48372390
Four sets of armor and clothing, neatly folded and placed in small alcoves in the wall. There's a small desk next to the door bearing a roll of ticket paper, a calculator, and a small lockbox. The desk appears to be made of bones. The armor and clothing is identical to those worn by several members of the party. The door opens outwards.

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>>48372390
In order as you approach:
>1 mimic corpse
>2 mimic corpses and an adventurer corpse
>3 rust monster corpses and the useless remains of multiple destroyed swords and armors
>2 mimic corpses and 2 adventurer corpses
>1 adventurer corpse entangled with 1 rust monster corpse
>1 adventurer corpse in front of the door
>the door has scars as if attacked with a weapon and there is a rusty sword lying between it and the last corpse

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This so much this

>>48386560

*finishes sending text*
*looks up from phone*

"I open the door. "

>>48386560
>>48387727
>the door was actually a door
>the last adventurer had just succumbed to madness before his wounds took him
There's still an ocean of mimics on the other side of the door though

>>48373937
Get some caltrops.

Of course, have some medical supplies ready to treat them...while you both wait for the police to arrest them.

Just gotta make sure the caltrops are visible in the day so you can clean up any and leave it safe for your dogs. If they're not so visible at night, well...nobody is supposed to be out in the yard at night, why would that ever be a problem?

>>48372821
Is there rule 34/ore picsc of her anywhere?
She is cute.

>>48386717
>those road signs are from my country

Jesus Christ how horrifying.

>>48388574
Go to 1d4chan and look up Cestree.

>>48373415
I think it would be interesting for you to dive in somewhere else, exit an underwater cave and noticing that sign behind you as you left.

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A hypercube.

>>48372390

The dungeon entrance features two giant stone hands holding open the portal a la goatse.

>>48390289
Oh DAMMIT. This is going to be one of those fleshy dungeons, isn't it? I HATE those.

>>48388682
Thanks.

>>48372390
Exit only

>>48375636
Best thing to do is to literally have no treasure and make the adventurers think there must be treasure. Then it turns out the adventurers are the treasure when they die and drop their loot. Dungeon economies hooray

>>48373542
Good attempt at reddit formatting you faggot.

>>48372390
A sign that reads "NO TRAPS INSIDE".

Just inside the entrance is a carefully camoflaged chain, pulled taut at ankle height. It is positioned in such a way that a tripping person's head will land right on a flagstone that reads "SUCKER".

Remember that one greenest about the group that arrived at a dungeon to find the entrance to the duneon was a hole spread open by a pair of skeletal hands a la goatse? That.

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>>48376858
OH FUCK, ANYTHING BUT THAT

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Falmer

>>48388667
Australia?

>>48390271
north, south, east, west, top, bottom, c??, o??

>>48382318
enemies reflect 33% physical damage
enemies reflect 33% elemental damage

>>48373224
the Ar of silver is 107, while the Ar of gold is 196. So anon is almost right

>>48372390
A d20 lying on the dungeon floor, with the 1 face up.

>>48373782
Human or dragon?
it's actually an enormous Mimic who hasn't quite gotten big, open disguises down just yet.

>>48376953
of all the things i have stolen from dark souls, shortcuts and healing bonfires are the ones that actually worked in campaigns.

no having to RP "sleeping in the dungeon to regen spells and health" you just all sit arround the bonfire. or you find a secret shortcut that allows you to exit the dungeon and reenter easily.

makes long dungeons more fun.

A pile of broken, discarded dildos off to the side and a small stream of lube from the entrance.

>>48392365
No, more like everyone getting grappled and getting their shit slapped like no tomorrow.

Thank god I had a motherfucking magical beast bane dagger +2 to shank that motherfucker like an Oz episode.

>>48375580
Good work anon

A huge arch that is actually several giant stone golems in the shape of humanoid tetris blocks stacked/fitted together that unfold and attack the party when they pass through it.

what's worse than finding a wyrm in your dungeon?

>>48393753
Finding one in your mum and/or significant other?

>>48394106
>and
Hemipenes, man. Kinky stuff.

>>48373000
What if the Tarrasque is friendly?

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>>48373677

>>48372390
Loli snowflake race magical DMPC that gets a solid 5+ minutes of description and is both played by the DM in his ERP and is a rip off of a character from his favourite anime and is actually several hundred years old she just looks young.

>>48395303
Don't forget that she has a penis

>>48395929
That's a given, anon. ALL characters i make have a penis despite outward appearances. Even my loli warforged.

>>48373937
Sic a ten year old on them.

>>48396400
Nah. I just pulled my old powerwasher out from the mothballs and shoved the red tip(0 degree no spread) on it. Oddly enough my yard is quiet tonight.

>>48372390
The Guards that were supposed to be knocked out for your escape.

>>48400144
This is why you kill all witnesses and possible issues ahead of time.

>>48372568
>>48372823
>>48374124
Heh, yeah. Only a sucker would pick up lots of money that would require no effort at all to loot.

>>48372441
>a bucket
Dear god.

Your own corpse.

>>48400997
...which has clearly been defiled.

A small pile of rusty, discarded high-quality weaponry.

>>48401049
Well, wouldn't you? I mean it's not like you get that kind of opportunity every day.

>>48394835
What if the tarrasque is dead and has clearly been bitten in half?

a torn up, stuffed purple penguin

Chris Hansen from Dateline's "To Catch a Predator"

a live rendition of 'the room' by eldritch horrors speaking in bad Mexican,

>>48372425
Underrated.

Your mother, regaling the assembled dungeon guards with hilarious and embarrassing stories of when you were an awkward teenager.

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>>48405837
Thanks, anon.

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>>48406107
>and they all have this look

>>48392186
It's hyperphysics, so those would be directions outside your grasp of reality.

>>48372390
A 4x4 room with no exit.

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>>48387890
>everything in the room is a mimic
>the dungeon itself is a giant mimic