Inquisitorial Penal Regiment /tg/: Greenskin beaches Edition

>>48356484
>The out of uniform Co could be found casually relaxing upon a white beach chair underneath a multicolored umbrellas. An ice cold glass full of blue Mehgona juice placed firmly in his hand, as he stares out at the ocean water before him.

Honestly, it just doesn't get better than this... though I do wonder what the others are doing...

>>48356484
>trying to hack security can only access pictures of cats

>>48356710
>and apparently a stick

Where is everyone currently?

>>48356749
sadly I'm the only one here yet T_T I also started this two hours late so... yeah theres that

>>48356763
Currently I'm waiting to see if my Warp-Jump roll in the Pathetic Marines thread was enough to get us away from the Throne of Skulls

Anything could happen in the next half hour!

First company of the pathetic marines, reporting in ! My honor guard Brother Redshire tried to hack through your security but only accessed pictures of what he called "Cats and a stick". WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ? And also where is my bike, it seems I shipped it around here by accident.

>>48356763
I was just wondering where the ship everyone in these threads is on currently is as well.

>>48356848
currently in orbit getting minor repairs after out threads version of redshirt tried to use the AI for the ships toilet paper dispenser to kill everyone on-board. Most of the regiment is now on the beaches relaxing.

>>48356839
>The young CO would throw his drink Into the air at the sound of the obnoxious voice. Causing the glass, and all its contents to smash against the space marines helmet.

EMPERORS HOLY BALLS!?! ARE WE UNDER ATTACK!?!
>The man, wearing only a bathing suit, would glance up upon the space marine.
Uhmmmmm hello...?

>>48356710
>>48356731
serves you right!

>>48356939
Hello, good sir, as I said before, I expect you to tell me what the hell is going on with this filthy cat photographies. And also to tell me where is my bike.
In the meantime, I shall proceed to land our pathetichawk near your location

>>48356939
>>48356993
GREETERLINGS!

>>48357032
Feck off you dumbass!

>teleports in
>sees the situation

Well how bout that, things went better than expected. And they went right where they're supposed to, convenient.

>takes off cloak
>he wears a black curiass of carapace material, with Inquisitorial sigil
>is large and heavily muscled
>wears red bandanna of Catachan
>stalks toward the beach

>gives up on security and looks at pics of cats

>>48357025
What cat photographs are you talking about m'lord? As far as I know, it's only myself, and the men and woman of my regiment here.
>The look upon the mans face would indicate he has no idea what in the hell the space marine is talking about. Seeing as how he is on a beach. With not a single cognitor in sight. Let alone even a town upon n the small island.

>suddenly a breakthrough! Redshirt accesses the server that has fallen under his dominion...to find terabytes of cats

>>48357130
>suddenly , an ork falls from the skies , smashing right on top of the shadowy figure
>as the figure looks up , he sees the Bastion of the Pathetic Marines Hover in the Stratosphere

>>48357244
>Looks up.
Who the fuck put that there!?

>>48357286
We did! We Warp-Jumped Here!

>>48357244
>hacks the bastions security cameras stares at a man in a redshirt
>mumbles
i hate warp fuckery

>>48357244
>kicks the ork in the shins
>punches in ork equivalent to solar plexus

Thronedammit! They got infiltrated by orks too? Why am I not surprised!

>>48357343
hey we just came from the actual fucking throne of skulls and stole some stuff (i threw a stick at Khorne)

>>48357300
>Falls after the ork, landing near the Shadowy Figure

My brothers! We have lived to fight another day! Now then, where are we? And why are there Guardsmen everywhere?

>>48357300
>slices ork's throat
Well, that's somewhat of a relief...

Get down here, Space Marine, I have dispatches for your chapter.

>>48357202
>Grabs the CO by his shoulders, shaking him pathetically
Let alone the damn photographs, tell me where's my bike ! I'm pretty sure it was shipped here ! And also, here's the ship

>Points at the Bastion in the sky

What the fuck

>>48357390
>shrugs

>>48357375
I came here for my bike, Chapter Master, these damn excuses for a servitor we have had it shipped here after I sent it to mars for repairs and enhancements, looks like it disturbed the warp drive from Bastie.

>>48357410
...oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookkkk-thump!
>faceplants in the sand.

>>48357411
what you mean the bumper pattern servitors?

>>48357375
>tumbles from the sky rolling and twisting before landing sure footedley on the planet

>BROTHERS WHERE ARE WE? I WAS SO CLOSE TO ERADICATING THE DAEMONS INFESTING THE ENGINES.

>>48357411
Hmm, very well. Brothers, find out what is happening here and report as soon as you have any answers.

>>48357343
because , when we received a status report to our wap engines , it first was

"Engine 1 is ready.
Engine 2 is covered in grey paint.
Engine 3 is making strange noises.
Engine 4 is arguing with the techmarines."

later , we figured that engine 3 might not be an engine , but maybe orks in a cardboard box making brum-brum noises , soon to be confirmed by the following status report

">Engine 1 is ready.
>Engine 2 is covered in grey paint and blood.
>Engine 3 is screaming "Waaagh!" at the top of its lungs.
>Engine 4 is drinking oil margaritas and singing with the techmarines."

and later , the following happened
"And suddenly , engine 3 bursts into a squad of Orks Boyz and A NOB , all screaming "WAAAGH!!" At the top of their lungs at the advancing Daemons and Not-that-Surprised Space Marines
"
so thats the story of random orks aboard our ship

>>48357390
I DONT KNOW!!! I CAME HERE AFTER MAKING LUNCH TO THIS!!!
>>48357389
>The man would violently be shocked. Not sure what the hell is going on!
I- Don't - Know- Sir!

>Pops into existence buried up to his neck in the sand with a sandcastle on his head.
HELP ME BROTHERS I CANNOT SEE!

I found my way out of the bastion! Excellent truly I am the most adept of all the blind scouts of the forth company!
I shall scout out the area at once and come back bearing maps
> begins fumbling about the place

>>48357405
>>48357375
So that's what we're doing now. Alright!

>Falls after the Master of Sanctity.
>Looks around.

Wait. We're not in the warp, so that's good, I guess?

>>48357444
Looks like you handled it as well as you were able. Good job...

>>48357437
You the chapter master of this bunch?

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>48357468
I SHALL ATTEMPT TO AID YOU!

>>48357300
Thank The Emperor for that, if we'd stayed there any longer the engine room would of been overrun. Now where exactly is 'here'?

>>48357448
...I have a vague feeling of unfinished business with you...eh whatever

>>48357480
>Update
yep , but it sint exactly holy terra either

>>48357482
NAY OUR CHAPTER MASTER IS THE MOST SAINTLY HEAVY BOLTER GUY.
I AM PART OF THE GRINDERS CHARGING DEVASTATOR COMPANY.

>>48357468
Sir as far I have known you could never see
>>48357448
We have arrived to your assistance we are pathetic marines the worst of the emperor's finest!

>>48357482
I am Chapter Master of the Pathetic Marines! Now, where are we and what EXACTLY is going on on this planet?

>>48357432
YES, THESE ONES. Next time I'll put you in charge.

>>48357448
>stops shaking the CO
Oh, fine. Help me find it then ! They must not be too far from here, I sense it ! Where are the vehicles parked, in this place ?
>Invites the CO to show him the way, while reajusting his ever-unfitting powerfist

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>48357487
>Wiggles pathetically

>>48357482
Was that an insult to our gloriously pathetic chapter? you wanna go? Do you wanna get knocked out by some angry dude in power armor?

Yeah , me neither

>>48357510
>Sir as far I have known you could never see
THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT.

Besides, that's the kind of joke you make when you can't see anything.

uh why is there a thread? We had on yesterday.

>Picks himself up, spit out enough sand to clean a small shrine complex...and realizes someone is looking directly at the palm of his Gauntlet while fiddling with the controls!
OOK OOK EEK!

>>48357557
Because people wanted a crossover thread I guess.

>>48357520
>smiles slightly
Well, my lord, looks to me like the God-Emperor Himself wills the orders I'm here to pass to you.
>hands over the dataslate
Certain elements of the Inquisition want you to work together with this here Penal Regiment Designation /theta gamma/. They want you to work together where you're needed and just do what you do best. I ain't at liberty to say who these Inquisition elements are, but they do believe in both these groups.

I used to be a part of this outfit myself. You'll find they're easy to work with, mostly.

>>48357605
Well... We usually run threads on Mondays. Almost none of the regulars are even online, let alone in this thread. There could have been some actual planning involved, we do have a Steam group.

>>48357625
This was a horrible idea.

>>48357625
well , the pathetic marines dont , so theres that!
Also , would you mind going off to that steam group and posting about this threads existance?

>>48357635
>>48357625
well it's too late now! Might as well go with it

>>48357642
Im in the steam group they have

>>48357635
No, it's a fine idea. It was actually brought up yesterday that we should do this, and I agree. It's just, we have an over-arcing story that we could have worked it into. I like the Pathetic Marines, and I think a crossover should be more well thought out.

>>48357642
>>48357647
I'll post in the group but I don't know what good it'll do.

>>48357607
Very well than mortal! As much as I distrust the Inquisition, we are always ready to help servants of the Emperor in need!

>>48357625
Yeah, this kind of just sprang up. If anyone can alert your Steam group that this is going down, that would help a lot.

>>48357635
RETREAT TO THE BASTION WE NEED TO ASSESS DAMAGES.

>>48357665
>implying our warp-jumping that occured in our thread wasn't an elaborately thought-out plan to create a crossover

>>48357675
I do not know brother, if this is the will of the Inquisition, it is hardly a good idea to just leave. On the other hand this sand is probably going to get stuck in my arm servos

>>48357647
Maybe you guys can join us on the patheticvthread today instead ?

>>48357675
Ok ook OOK-OK okk-ook, O'k /ok-ook-okk/ ok ook ook ook ok-okk ook ook-okk-ook ook ook! Ok ook ook ook, Ok ookk oook OOK okk-ok ok ook OOK ok okk-ook-ok.

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>I fall from the Bastion, using my rifle to pathetically guide my fall

rolling to see how well I guide myself

>>48357607
And what can we do to serve the will of the never closing eye today ? Could you be more specific ?

>>48357670
Alrighty, I'll just take my leave then.

...oh, and your heavy bolter is on fire.

>>48357670
Alrighty, I'll just take my leave then.

...oh, and your heavy bolter is on fire.

>>48357750
>it only makes it worse
>I send myself into a spiral as I approach the sand

>over all vox channels, a man can be heard screaming.
MORE fucking Space Marines?! I fucking HATE Space Marines! Entitled cunts! What the fuck do they want?!

>WAKES UP
>STARTS SCREAMING LOUDLY
D-DID I TELEPORT?!

>>48357769
>>48357771
> returns with pathetic quality maps
I am glad you took the time to say that twice our listening skills are sometimes pathetic

>>48357771
That it is my friend, that it is.

>>48357775
Brother! Curl up into a ball to soften the impact! We will help you once you have landed!

>>48357752
I ain't gonna bore you to death with all the big picture details, just do your thing and everything will fall into place.

Oh Throne, Gary is becoming a Slater like figure

Just passing by to leave a message because I am busy and won't be playing today.

You guys should have made a warning that this was going to happen X day because no regulars are here and probably most have made plans like I did.

You guys really should retry it this next monday.

>>48357798
>broadcasts directly to the Chapter Master
Alright, fucko, this is the Emperor's Inquisition! I demand to know what the fuck you're doing here!

>>48357799
>EXTREMELY LOUD SCREAMING
WHY ARE WE HERE?!

>>48357824
Relax, Laroque, they're supposed to be here. I just gave them their orders. You should have a copy sent to you.

>>48357824
Chaptermaster, the little man asks for the reason of our presence, may I explain it again to him ?

>>48357769
Well that was unnecessarily vague. Also we should probably do something about you Heavy Bolter, my Lord.

>Looks up into the sky and see >>48357775 falling and sighs heavily

I don't even

>>48357832
>whips out Fang knife faster than Malathonian pit viper
THONEABOVE!!
Oh, it's just you, Hank. Don't fuckin scare me like that. Glad to see you're still alive. In case you didn't hear, you're gonna be working with those Space Marines for awhile.

>looks at a random terminal
>gets feeling of immense power
>walks off to find ice cream as this is apparently a holiday planet

>>48357824
I choose to ignore your tone for now, witch hunter, but know that I may not do so again. In any case, we are here to assist any and all warriors loyal to the Emperor, in whatever capacity that may require.

>>48357849
RELAX?! THERE'S SP-
>he receives a message
Uh, one minute...
>reads it over
Oh, fucking Hell. I'm going to have to report this to Wellesley, ain't I? Shit.

>>48357858
>glares at the Captain
I'm large for a regular human, fuck you!
>mumbles to himself about height

>>48357890
>licks his lips
Assist, eh? You guys? Y'know, I'm not unfamiliar with your outfit. You have a worse track-record than I do, and that's saying something buddy.

>>48357824
IF YOU DO NOT SHOW RESPECT TO THOSE MILLENNIA OLDER THAN YOU, YOU MAY FIND OUT HOW MANY USES A MULTIMELTA HAS LITTLE MAN. IF YOUR SUPERIOR WISHES TO TALK THEN HE WILL DO SO HIMSELF.

>>48357881
S-..Space Marines?! Sir..I...wh...why..
>nervous sweat

>>48357901
>looks at the dreadnought with his eyes narrowed
Listen, Grampa, I've punch daemons bigger than you in the face! I don't need this shit! I'm already in a shitty mood!

>>48357900
a track record may we see it it's just we have been through warp a little and it has effected time so there might be things that haven't happened yet and also what is this heresy about the primarchs being dead?

Bastie if these guys aren't willing to be civil...eat their ship.

>>48357923
Insult my Battle-Brother again little mortal, and we'll see how well your mood improve with a Relic Blade in your sternum.

>>48357900
>smirks to himself about Ron's height

Nah, you can if you want to, but she should have been notified too. Guess you might as well though, no telling how long the message will take to go through.

>>48357943
Seconded

>>48357923
AND I LIVED TO HEAR THE EMPERORS VOICE, WHO AMONGST US IS TRULY CHOSEN BY HIM. I WISH YOU NO ANIMOSITY HOWEVER I RECENTLY FELL IN BATTLE SO I AM A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE AND HOPE YOU WILL TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT.

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>48357900
Oh, you're familiar with our history ? FINE, I shall now go and fetch my bike, average-sized person, I'll see you later, once you've dealt with the broomstick stuck in your...
>the sound of the captain's voice fades pathetically as he goes towards the place he thinks his bike is
Rolling to find my bike

>>48357917
Because the Big -][- says so, son. Don't worry, it's a privilege to work with Astartes, and you'll do just fine with them.

...I think.

>>48357952
Thirded

>>48357824
The Inquisition!?
>whispers
Battle-brothers, don't let them know that our Bastion is filled with xenotech, has a C'tan Shard in his power core and is probably controlled by an A. I.
And that we've seen Khorne with our bare eyes.

>>48357927
>looks like he's going to strangle Redshirt, despite the obvious disadvantage
Oh, sure, let me just produce it from out of thin air!
On his first mission he was blasted through the Warp and left blind, deaf, and dumb for several hours.

>>48357944
>turns to the Chapter Master
Oh, I'm so scared! You ain't the first Marine to threaten me, and the last guy was tougher than you.

>>48357951
>sighs
Well no shit I'm going to have to, I'm getting into fights with more Space Marines. Last time this happen, Behrend almost killed me.

>>48357958
>throws his hands up into the air
I'm done! I'm fuckin' done!

>>48357964
>his thrown up hands curl into claws
I'M TOO SOBER FOR THIS!

>>48357978
>screams incoherently

>>48357943
I am no beast master but don't get it excited as I don't want to have any part in trying to wrangle it down. although be sure to keep it ready.
>>48357958
Is it comfy in there? I heard they were low on cushions when we left for our voyage.

>>48357978
Ah, don't worry, they know already. The fact they haven't done anything just means you're marked to be put to good use.

>>48357973
N-No! First the Inquisition, who are a bunch of..
>whispers
P..Psychos!
And then SPACE MARINES?!
>funny that he's still so frantic and reluctant, even though he looks like a bad ass with that eyepatch, mechanical arm, and beard

>>48357978
>I didn't see him, I was stopping the engine room from being overrun by deamons

>>48357978
>comes by with his roaring over-modified bike, still half covered in blood from the khornate dimension.
What did you just say ? Couldn't hear you Brother Chaplain.

>>48358007
>mechanical arm, and beard
Wait...you have a mechanical beard?

>>48358008
Oh. Sorry Brother-Captain, I'll send you pictures later.

>>48358011
Don't worry brother, I was just admiring my new Crozius. You remember our holy search, right?

>>48357986
listen here , bad-tempered witch burner! We have had quite the amount of ****trouble**** in the last few hours , so don't fuck with us ok because

NONE MORE PATHETIC
NONE MORE WORTHY
YOUR BEST IS STILL OUR WORST!

>>48357990
THE CONDITIONS ARE AMICABLE HOWEVER I WOULD APPRECIATE LUMBAR SUPPORT AND I DO NOT HAVE LEGS TO ACT IN THAT FASHION.

>>48357986
Someone please give me a reason not to break my cybernetic foot off in this mans ass.

>>48358011
quick , wipe that blood of before they start asking questions!

>>48358007
>sighs profoundly
>holds Hank down
>jabs him with a tranquilizer

>>48358077
we'll get heresy-accused for making him more unhappy than he is , so we better keep our profile at least as low as our niveau.....

>>48358077
HE WOULD ONLY DIRTY IT SIR. BESIDES HIS RED FACE MAKES MY HEART LEAP IN JOY.

>>48358092
Gah-
Euhg..sir..I..feel..dizzy...
>>48358035
>huehuehue

>>48358059
>slowly looks at Saganius, eye twitching

>>48358077
>then slowly looks at the Chapter Master, and there's something dark in his eyes
I understand that people don't like Blanks. We ain't the nicest people, I'm told. But me, I'm a special kind of asshole. People REALLY don't like me. See, they don't like me SO MUCH, that they made it so if I die, I explode. Is that alright with you?

>>48357986
here take this flask of liquor i stole from khornes dime- i mean that i recently bought with actuall money

>with a new margarita in hand. The young CO would flip his beach chair back onto its legs, before taking a seat.
>>48358003
>>48357986
So why exactly are you both on Alshaeri? I mean, we're here while the ship is repaired. But what about you guys?
>He'd take a sip from his glass.

>>48358104
He's an Inquisitior, they're always angry about some perceived slight.

>>48358055
Yes I do ! Happy to see you like this new beatstick o'doom, Brother

So, anyways, Average-sized raging man, what's the job we might accomplish here for you ?

>>48358059
>>48358077
Never mind him, my lords. He's just a hot headed, impetuous kid who needs to lay off the sauce. Always has been like this.

>>48358111
Very well than brother, my foot shall remain where it is.

>>48358092
Honestly... you'd think that wouldn't be needed, considering we're on one of the most relaxing tropical worlds in the segmentum.

>>48358127
>grabs the flask and chugs it
Tastes like blood. Might want to get that tested for taint.
>wipes his mouth and hands back the container

>>48358130
>sniffs and wipes his nose
I've been on the ship the whole time. Got in a tussle with someone and got mad, so I sat the titan debacle out. Pulled some strings and got you some air support though.

>>48358130
As I told you, I, myself came for this bike, but it seems there's finally more at stake, you might talk to our Chaptermaster Heavy Bolter guy or to Brother Chaplain Notan Ecron for more relevant intel

>>48358123
Ook
>Hands him a banana martini.
You don't have to worry when I'm Jokearo, things that can warp the mind and crack the soul of a man, don't do much to the mind and soul of an ape.

>>48358130
I just came to give you and the Marines orders to stick together. That's really all. But what about Hank over there?>>48358116 he seems really freaked out by Astartes, even these. Do you think you can deal with him or should I find him a job with the Inquisition?

>>48358157
Huh...that was you?
>The recently commissioned Lieutenants face would have a slight look of surprise upon.
Well thank the Emperor you did! Otherwise, we might not have made it out if that! But that still doesn't explain my question? Are you on planet to relax, or simply keep an eye on the regiment?

>>48358157
oh yes we may or may not have your great-great-great-great grandpa's jokearo which we got for some holy relic or other

>>48358175
I suppose I can keep an eye on him while we're relaxing on the beaches. But I don't understand why he'd br like this, Sir.

>Switches to inter-marine vox.
Chapter Master, I advise that we do not tell our..."allies" about the presence of Pre-Heresy Luna Wolves on the Bastion.

>>48358146
Very well, we shall ignore the small red man.

>>48358165
>drinks the martini quickly, then smashes the glass
Yup, thanks. This is fine. Apes giving me booze is fine.

>>48358181
>coughs
Yeah, I know some Elysian pilots. Lieutenant Colonel Guerin, a bigshot ace, owes me money, so... Boom, we have air support when we need it.

>>48358185
>makes a confused face
My what? I'm from Logres, man. My family have been krill farmers for generations.

>>48358210
>>48358175
>is breathing in and out rapidly

>>48358212
oh and don't tell them we ourselves are pre-heresy

>>48358212
>**JOINING INTERCHAPTER CHANNEL**
OR ABOUT HOW I WAS AN IRON WARRIOR

>>48358212
>Over the vox

That may be wise brother. Have got them contained yet?

>>48358220
right right well you wouldn't mind pointing us in the direction of Lord High Inquisitor Marietta Von Brundervane

>>48358239
>Over the vox.
Not sure, Hold are you doing up there Noten?

>>48358212
Or about our apothecary and his pet Carnifex.

>>48358210
Me either. I mean, he never wanted to be a Guardsman, just wanted to stay on his safe, cozy world, but it doesn't make sense that he'd have a phobia of Space Marines. Guess something happened to him a long time ago.

>kicks Hank
Hey, wake up. You want to stay here with the regiment, or you want me to find you a job in an office?

>>48358212
or about the functional elder warp gate

or about the many pre-heresy ships that have been consumed

>>48358231
>Vox only

That may also be information we should withhold at this time.

>Out loud

Chaplain Jokearo, drinks for our new friends (and that one Inquisition Acolyte)!

>>48358242
Hmm. Can't say I know who that is.
>rubs the back of his neck
Why you looking for someone so important?

>>48358239
sort of... theire stuck in a hangar bay , but that is more accidental than on purpose....

>>48358228
> hands him an illegible map
I fund reading maps calms my nerves study these you may be able to find your way about better.
>>48358220
>hears the smashing of the glass
You know that glass could have made some fine cannons that would have great functionality.
>>48358231
We can change origin chapters now? Sounds good I change to space wolf can I now drink and never get drunk?

>>48358286
YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY STRESSED ACOLYTE, WE SEEK ONLY TO LESSEN THE BURDEN OF AN ENTIRE CHAPTER FROM YOUR SHOULDERS.

>>48358286
oh well he was the last inquisitor we were in touch with before we went through warp to arrive post-heresy and also the ex-owner of the jokearo

>>48358299
>vox only
MY PAST HAS ALWAYS BEEN OF IRON.

>>48358299
that is a pathetic marines only skill read the first thread we are all from different chapters

>>48358305
>per vox

hey whoah don't disclose the fact that we have only been in post-heresy times for a few years and have tons of pre-heresy cool shit

>>48358314
>vox only
My mistake then need to find a wolf and get their drinking secrets as that sister's drink still hurts my head

>I get up off the ground after landing
>>48358283
>over vox

Or that Necron Tombsteroid...

>>48358299
THAT IS NOT CALMING!

>>48358326
>vox
BROTHER NEED I REMIND YOU I AM A BLANK SLATE CONTEMPTOR DREADNOUGHT I FEAR THERE MAY ALREADY BE A SUSPICION

>>48358346
basically don't tell them anything about our past

Well, now I'm confused wether to write about this messy meeting or not.
These stories of the Pathetic Marines are giving me a headache.
I'm going to need a vacation soon.

>>48358302
>>48358299
>>48358305
>folds his arms across his chest and looks at the Pathetic Marines in front of him with suspicion
I don't trust you. Any one of you. Space Marines keep secrets. You guys keeping secrets? I didn't end well for the last guys who did.

>>48358347
yeah, fellow imperial servant , i am aware.I also find analog maps almost heretically complex, thats why i always have someone explain them to me....

>>48358377
are you talking about the corpse that floated past the windshield of the bastion wearing a red shirt?

>>48358346
>Over the vox
Hey, look up! I think I can see a piece of the necron tomb on the side of our fortress!

>>48358381
You people are INSANE!

>>48358347
>holds Hank down
Do you really want to make me have you lobotmized? Now, are you gonna get over being around Astartes and calm down, or do you want to work in an Inquisitor's office where it'd quiet?

>>48358377
That's fine, we won't ask you from what sqat homeland you come from and you won't ask about our pathetic past. So now, what are we up to, here, it's about damn time you tell us.

>>48358373
inquisitor , finish the stories of the eldar ship , the c'tan shard , the lost crozius and our meeting with
K****e and the general amount of fuckups this chapter has committed within the last few ours

>>48358404
Can you vox one of the navigators so he turns it around ? The other side is still covered in blood but it might still be better

>>48358404
nope you must be mistaken that's a...vary vague imperil Gothic architecture yeah

>>48358371
or anything about us in general

>>48358434
yep totally

>>48358432
what navigator?just yell at bastie

>>48358377
>yells loudly
NO I HAVE NO SECRETS AT ALL I- I -I AM JUST VERY UN-INTERESTING AND AS SUCH DON'T TALK MUCH! yes that's it
I have so few secrets you may even review my maps
>Hands a copy of illegible maps of the surrounding area
you tell they have the utmost accuracy
>>48358373
Good thing you can take a vacation where you stand I recommend you do so now for your health.

>>48358377
I find an Inquisitior complaining about people keeping secrets to be somewhat ironic. And more to the point the Adeptus Astartes awnser to none but The Emperor.

>>48358404
What >>48358434 said

>>48358377
Ron, you aren't an authority. Submit your concerns to the nearest Inquisitor but remember you're still an acolyte.

>>48358411
please don't cut off my testis sir.....

>>48358448
Okay!
>Over ships vox
Bastie? can you be a dear and face the other way? You can? There's a good girl.

>>48358377
ACOLYTE PLEASE, WE ARE ATTEMPTING TO SHOW KINDNESS TO BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN OUR GROUPS.

>>48358465
Well spoken brother.

>>48358448
Which we should not talk about because Mr. Iamoffended right here might understand he has a mind of his own ? OF COURSE I'M TALKING ABOUT BASTIE, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN HONOR GUARD ! Now, wanna try this ? I scavenged it from the insides of Bastie, so that you don't have to climb on mine anymore

>Points towards a bike similar to his
>Powerfist detaches

Oh shit, not again...

>>48358452
>smiles at the blind Space Marine

>>48358465
>whirls around to the Captain
I find you full of bullshit!

>>48358481
>then turns to Gary
I have as much authority as I need, according to Alice, so go to Hell Gary! Where do you get off disappearing for God knows how long, then coming back and trying to tell me how much authority I do or do not have, anyway?

>>48358488
>sighs
I'm not trying to be antagonistic, but I don't exactly get along well with people, especially Marines.

>>48358505
yay a bike to call my own...with strange runic markings on the side?

>>48358448
>Screams in the sky
HEY! BASTIE, CAN YOU HEAR ME! GOOD! NOW, BE A GOOD GIRL AND TURN AROUND A LITTLE BIT, WILL YA?
>The Space Hulk starts turning by itself
THERE... THERE... STOP! THAT'S GOOD! WHO'S A GOOD GIRL!? YOU ARE! WE'LL GET YOU SOME DELICIOUS XENO SHIPS LATER!

>>48358485
Brother, I think you can ask her without using a vox.

>>48358512
If you think we're hard to deal with, you should spend some time with my former chapter, the Pr-Angry Marines

>>48358505
Tell him the ships navigator has extraordinary hearing and is called bastie

>>48358525
>reattaches powerfist
Yep ! Now you're a true member of the first company ! Ride it with pride ! And don't let it talk to you, it always has silly ideas.

>>48358529
>Over vox
Notan, I was TRYING to give the illusion that she wasn't alive, you utter buckethead!

>>48358548
what like
>voice changes
Deus omnia in nomine sanguinem occidere

>>48358548
Like killing Eldar and wearing their skins while attempting to murder the Emprah?

>>48358565
exactly , shit as dumb as that

>>48358564
Yeah, this kind of stuff, guess you know what I mean. Must be some kind of xenotech we do not yet know.
>>48358565
Do you have one of your own ? Mine totally told me to do that yesterday, that little joker !

>>48358512
By the way , administrative slave of your higher-ups , are there any techpriests or even tech-savvy gardsmen around here? I need this combi-bolter fixed

>>48358564
translation=God is all in the name of blood kill

>>48358512
Oh, well alright then master bigshot. You use all your grand authority to deal with these Space Marines, and then explain your actions to a tribunal of angry Lord Inquisitors whose plans you threw a major wrench in. Where I've been is not your concern, however I have been fully briefed on this Chapter, and I promise you, we know their secrets every which way. There is a very good reason for their being here, you can look at the dossiers yourself.

>>48358553
>Over the vox
Eh, let's hope he'll let that one slip. After all, our Bastie deserves some delicious ships after all the warp fuckery.

>>48358565
That sounds strangely familiar...
Except for the last part.

>>48358598
Not me personally, but back in my old chapter I knew a guy whose's hair br- I MEAN POWER WRENCH told him to do that

>>48358512
THEN THINK OF ME NOT AS A MARINE BUT A LOYAL SERVANT OF THE EMPEROR WITH NO FACE, YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO US BUT WE WOULD ASK ONLY CIVILITY.

>>48358512
What's the matter Inquisitior, did I touch a nerve?

>>48358602
>Ron frowns at the Sergeant
No, none that'd fix it. Tags'd probably break it, or make it into a Titan. But the odds are poor.

>>48358608
>licks his lips
Well, Gary, I saw the dossiers, but it seems the Emperor has chosen to stretch my patience to it's limit today.

>>48358661
>reaches into his coat
Case in fucking POINT, the marine that's going to get an airstrike called in on his ass if he doesn't shut the fuck up.

>>48358673
Good. Then I'm completely certain you know what the consequences will be if you hit that button, Acolyte.

>>48358673
Look here , mortals.I know , youre really pissed at us , but please just give us our mission and we will wander off as soon as we can

>>48358711
>>48358731
>looks at Gary, and looks slightly conflicted
But it would be sooo gratifying.

>looks through the loot stolen from Khorne
>finds servo skull
Hey who wants to see the recordings of a servo skull form hell!

>>48358788
literally hell

>>48358759
Gratifying enough to warrant that airstrike hitting the regiment too? And enough that you're willing to suffer being tortured and turned into a servitor as punishment? Enough to warrant the ultimate loss of several sectors of civilized Imperial space? All this, just because one lowly Acolyte doesn't get along with a few Space Marines?

Sure kid. Go for it.

>>48358673
>On vox
Bastie. if Ron tries anything fire off a warning shot from something that doesn't have a blast radius, please?

>To Ron
Oh, I wouldn't do that.

>>48358818
suddenly , a random bolter shot soars from the sky , hitting something miled awayy

>"What the fuck"?

>>48358788
Bring it to me, brother, let's have a laugh !

>>48358814
Ooh we could use a new bumper executor the rest are rather worn

>>48358841
>on vox
Good shot Bastie! Though...your aim could use some work.

>>48358844
Forgot my name
Also you're now promoted to first sargent of the first company. Bear this charge with pathetic pride.

>>48358858
Servitor Damn autocorrect

>>48358863
brother , i wouldn't even be so sure if that shot was intentional....

>>48358814
>laughs
Please, when have I ever cared about consequences?

>>48358818
>laughs even more, actual tears in his eyes. For some reason, this entire situation is hilarious to him. Ron pulls out a a small radio from his coat, and starts talking to someone
Yo, Guerin, I don't want these guys to die as much as I thought. You guys can RTB if you want.

>suddenly, 3 fully-loaded Lightnings scream past, and one of them tips it's wing

>>48358858
bumper-pattern servitors are the best servitors

>>48358844
Wait let's show the annoying small guy it

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>48358893
I warned you.

>ship vox
Bastie! NOW!

>>48358880
>heavy bolter rounds hit the floor nearby
Could there be something with Bastie ? Oh crap, could it be the Lun... The prisoners ?

>>48358911
ah crap , i think we didnt take their weapons
they MAY have had a melta........

>>48358902
We'll show him as we laugh our asses at his servitor face, excellent idea Sargent.

>>48358926
In a word...shit.

>>48358910
>the shot lands next to Ron, who doesn't react
RTB means Return to Base, numbnuts. Unless you WANT 12 Hellstrikes up your ass.

>>48358938
we need to get back up there NOW
Quick to the Patheti-SHIT WE FELL DOWN , WE HAVE NO LANDING SHIP TO TAKE US BACK UP

>>48358926
We need to get on board ASAP ! First company, with me ! Sargent Redshirt >>48358902 get on your bike !
>bike rushes to the debarkment ships

>>48358893
Hey acolyte look at this recording
>shows him recording from hellservoskull

>>48358949
Take ours brother !

>>48358950
YES SIR

>>48358961
>blinks
...I don't see anything.
>continues to be a blunt

>>48358972
getting back on board , some lunar Wolves need a lesson taught and also , they might have nice equipment for us to steal
back to the Pathetic Marines Thread brethren!

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>48358972
>gets to debarkment ship
>fires the engines
Where do we end ?
1-on Bastie
2-in the Luna Wolves room
3-impact an IG flier

>>48358994
Away I go!
I closed out that tab, link pls

>>48358994
I shall meet you all there!

>OOC
alright what's happening? Are you lot even on bastie still.

>>48359026
here you go >>48352525

>>48358994
We shall return, then!

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>48358950
TELEPORTING TO THE WEAPONS BAY BROTHERS,
>1-3 no prisoners in the bay
>4-6 there are prisoners in the bay

>>48359042
thnx

Well that happened

Unbelievable. That Thronedamn idiot just fucked everything over. The Astartes ain't blameless neither though... well maybe this was all part of a bigger plan the bosses had, but I don't count on it. Either way, I need a drink.

>quietly disappears