Mages Guild: Amazing Race Edition

>Sitting on a young zombie dragon on the starting line
>Looking over the competition

>>48010519

>Rests on the magic enchanted palanquin, surrected by the enchanted remains of deceased debtors

>>48010546
>walks over, hands behind his back
You nervous?

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>>48010519
A race? That's what got everyone so excited. I think I'll sit this one out while the students have their "fun".

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>>48010546
>He'd take a sideways glance towards the zombie dragon.
So... this might not end well for the five students I have down here... kinds hoping they pull out.

>He'd be prepared with both an earthwave spell in one hand, and a water spell in the other, as he stands upon a surfboard wearing nothing but a bathing suit .

>>48010519
>Is riding low in what can only be described as a large pinball machine

>>48010546
>>48010565
I hope you losers are prepared to eat my dust.

>>48010519
A race you say? Odd, as such things ought be left to less cerebral guilds, but very well, I could do with the exercise.

>whistles
>there is a thunderclap and explosion of ice as his magical steed is summoned
>the wizard mounts as his ice hulk form takes over

LET US BEGIN!

>>48010519
>Is wearing pit crew gear
Antruthius, why did you make me everyone's pit crew?

>>48010666
>Puts on nametag
Woops

>>48010615
Not at all. Why? What're you gonna do?

>>48010628
>Stares

Okay.... why?

>>48010642
You're just scared you're gonna lose.

>Is pushed onto the track by his two freakishly tall halfgiant babies.
>is sitting in life sized pinewood derby car
Lets roll

>>48010675
Heya mort, wish us luck?
>His niece and nephew climb into the side car

>>48010642
>>48010649
>>48010615
>>48010565

>He'd begin rubbing sun tan lotion on, having forgot to earlier.
Wait... so how many laps are we supposed to be doing again? The sign up sheet didn't really say. Also is any magic dealing with time still not allowed?

>>48010681
>shrugs
I'm not joining the race. Not interested in I.O.Us and am too busy with my studies. I want to go to a academy after all.
>he gives a smile
But I hope you do well.

>A giant, all metal airship moves up to the start line.
Hoy, look out down there!

>>48010701
Sure Frank.......What are Dova and Hue doing in your car?

>>48010642

Still salty about that copyright infringment cause?

>Walks onto tracks
>Chaoriot of hate in tow

"Alright, lets do this you chumps."

>Gets on

>>48010681
It's summer time. I'm on a surfboard. And if you haven't figured out by now that I'm an elemental specialist, then you probably shouldn't know my plan.

>>48010681
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh sweet child, witches are never scared.

>>48010705
isn't it 3 laps standard? I mean who wants to circle this death trap more then that?

>>48010735
Mr.Moon and who ever else was sueing me can go suck it, I'm totally not a rip of of this tommy person, who ever that is. Geez.

>>48010725
why wouldn't they be in the car? they worked so hard on it.

>>48010737
>>48010716
>>48010689
>Turning towards his fellow competitors, he'd do a few stretches and flexs.

Well, good luck everyone! Hopefully we all make it out if this in relatively one piece!

>>48010681
>standing behind Obsidia
Ech...too many people.

>>48010785

Please, do not give the fleshmancers strange ideas.

>>48010785
"Doubt it. By the way, is time manipulation banned?"

>>48010777
How about they stay with me, because of if Morrigan finds out about this, your in deep trouble

>>48010712
Thanks for the encouragement...

>>48010743
>Sighs

>>48010762
>Frowns
>Sighs

>>48010798
Don't worry, I can probably race on my own.

Just need you to cast the age spell, so I'm not riding a baby.

>>48010762
The only things that makes this race a Death trap, is the werid ass stuff we're using, as well as this GOD AWFUL HEAT WAVE!!! I say we all go to the beach after this is done. Who's with me?

>the thunderhorse paws and snorts impatiently

STEADY UNTIL IT IS TIME!

>>48010519
Wait, what? We had one of these a couple of hours ago!

>>48010805
I think it still is... after all, fourth years of chronomancers winning this is kind of bullshit. Thank God they don't join in anymore

>>48010805

It was, but they went back in time and changed it

>>48010785
>>48010829
Nah lad, I'd prefer not to rust!
>Laughs and calls back.
CAPTAIN! ENGINES UP!
>The airship starts to hum.

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>a whole in spacetime forms and expands to about 5 feet around
>from it emerges N'eet, Lord of Squallor and Weebcraft!

Well my eldernet's out, whats going on in the realm of mortals and fleshlings?

>>48010827
I'm still not a chronomancer. So we'll see how this goes.

>>48010851
Fuck you chronomancers and your abilities to cheat the system and auto win it! Thank God someone on the committee saw that it was a good idea to ban all forms of time magic in this fourty years ago.

>>48010827
>nods before waving and walking onto the sidelines

>>48010856
>>48010859
"Thats good. Because if they did,"

>Points to his horses

"These two would be pissed."

>>48010874
"Were having a race."

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>48010785
What, you gunna run?

>>48010827
>Cackles madly
>Rolling for mad witchy cackling skills

>>48010829
implying there are not obsticals as well. HA! You think you can foll me? I'm a witch good sir.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>48010883
Eh, you're better at anything that isn't necromancy than me by default.

So at least give it a shot.
>Hands her a scroll of age-increasing

>>48010911
>Pretty impressive cackling
>Rolling to not be intimidated

>>48010812
>they start tearing up
Mort please, you are going to make them cry. Relax i'll keep them safe.

Been trying to lurk and participate in one of these threads for quite a while, but haven´t managed to catch one until now. Is there an exact time to when this thread shows up?

>>48010891

>notices the horses

horses? Who uses horses for transport?

>>48010911

What?? this is a Mage race only! The Sisterhood being here is most irregular!

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>>48010519
>grumbling, another mage takes her position alongside the others, standing on a slab of material that seems to be drinking in the light.
I still can't believe I got roped into this, twice damned luck. I really can't. Still, at least it'll be entertaining.

>>48010923
Alright, fine. But if Morrigan finds out about this its your head.

>>48010927
What? Nun uh! Witches are totally allowed! Stop trying to kick me out befor we even started you dirty rule follower.

>>48010921
So you want me to cast it now or right before the race starts?

>>48010804
>He'd continue to stretch, and lotion himself up. Not wanting to both injure himself, or have a painful sunburn later on.

Hey, I don't tell you how to win this race, so don't you tell me how to! Besides, it's 37 degrees (Celcius) out here, and I don't feel like wearing heavy armor for this thing.

>>48010927
"Call me old fashioned, but thats how I roll. Besides..."

>Horses Roar demonically

"Theyre special."

>>48010889
What, who- when did that? This doesn't make any sense.. Those pesky..
Tell you when, what, we all come here - this day, every day - hoping to get something out of the day. The day! It's insane!

And they - they they, hey they go ahead and ban our magic. OUR magic. But everybody else gets to keep their magic - it's insane, insane!
Those pesky..

>>48010926
>Usually when we start getting too many posts in the post-thread archive

>>48010948
Now works, I think. It's already on the starting line, after all.

>>48010938
>All three of them cheer
>Dova accidentally dragon shouts and sends people in the stands flying
>Hue finds this hilarious and giggles like mad

>>48010891
Ah, thank you meatbag!

>notices the horses, raises an inquisitive tentacle

A-are you going to eat those?

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>Approaches the start line on a raggedy old carpet, giggling maniacally

WOO-HOO! I'm ready to go! I brought my trusy flying lion! I'm sure I'll win this time!

>Pats the top of the threadbare hardly airborn carpet

>Riding up in a completely ordinary horse
Hey guys! I'm not late am I?

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>>48010889
>puts her hands up
I'm not in the race, don't look at me!
>>48010961
>blinks, confused
>>48010965
Obsidia..are you sure riding a aged-up dragon is safe?
>>48010926
Pretty randomly. We do a new one once we hit 5000 or so Ghostposts on Archived.moe. So yeah, pretty randomly.

>>48010971
>Facepalms
Don't make me regret this Frank

>>48010911
Nope!
>He motions to the spell of earthwave in one hand, and the spell of water wave in the other. He'd then motion to the surfboard he's standing on, as well as his green and orange bathing suit/shorts.
Take a guess what I'm planning on doing in this 37°c weather... first two don't count.

>>48010945

Bha, rule fidgeting is perfectly within the rules, I checked them twice.

>>48010949

What are you, a fighter?

>>48010979
"I wouldn't advise it. Plus, I need them. Tell you what, ill treat you to some demon meat after this. Deal?"

>>48010965
>>48010983
Ah, okay. Thanks. I think I´ll lurk first, then.

IS THE ARCHMAGE GOING TO START THIS THING OR NO?!

>>48010937
...I remember you from somewhere.

>>48010926
>>48011017
No, but if you join the steam group you can get a ping when we start a new one. http://steamcommunity.com/groups/MagesGuildofAen
You can wait until we hit the archives to join.

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>>48010961
>A discarded roast chestnut shell is tossed in the general direction of the ranting chronomancer, from the hand of a scruffy beastfolk mage in the crowd of spectators
"Oh relaaax would you? The retconjurors don't get to use their magic. I think. If they exist. Just enjoy the show!"

>>48011027
QUIET YOU! The Archmage will start as soon as his pooridge is ready! Right Monty?

>He stares into the distance at no one in particular

Yea... Monty.

>>48011001
that only works if you say take 3 guesses. also filing for a divorce.

>>48011002
But it's not /FUN/

>>48010979

>gets THE SCROLL out of a deceased debtor cranium and reads:

Section 4, comma 13: Consuming,eating or devouring other Mage's contraption, steeds and moving veicles is perfectly within the rules and the spirit of the competition, and therefore is punishable by any means allowed in said competition, up to, but not including disintegration and forced hand holding with a succubus

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>>48011027
He already did!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>48010965
Alright!
>cough

O Paradox, being that resides beyond the reaches of time. Grant me thy strength to call forth times that have yet to come. Now shallt become then and young shallt be old!
Greater Aging!

>>48011055
AS SOON AS HIS PORRIDGE IS READY?! WHAT KIND OF MILKDRINKING SOP IS IN CHARGE HERE? I HOPE ITS MAGICAL PORRIDGE FOR IT TO BE SO DAMNED IMPORTANT!!!

>>48011002
Fucks sake! Has Nobody heard of eldritch knights!?! Good gods above and below, That's ridiculous!
>He'd simply sigh.
I'm partially a fighter, but I study elemental magics...

>>48010961
It makes sense when you assholes can freeze time, and then take 42 years to complete the damn thing!

>>48011059

Fun is meaningleass in the perfect and arid world of Law and Technicality

>>48011065

I'M GOING TO SUE YOUR ASS BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF TIME CHRONOMANCER, ONCE WE FINISH THIS RACE

Rolled 1 (1d20)

TK at full captain! We're ready to go!

>>48010983
Well, it is MY dragon, so of course it's safe!

For me. It'll catch me if I fall.

>>48011067
>The dragon is engulfed in light
>When it fades, Obsidia is sitting on the back of a much, much larger zombie dragon
>With stronger, bigger wings

Alright! We're going to win! Then you won't have to be a redrobe anymore!

>>48011017
Understandable

>>48011028
>looking up from her preparations of magical tests on her 'steed', the mage shrugs to the onlooker
I'm pretty forgettable, I guess. Should be, with the effort I put into it at times.. Pity it's all for naught, with this race. Still can't believe I lost the bet to do this.

>>48011053
>Na-ah looks straight towards the chestnut, his eyes following it closely - slowly - until it eventually stopped moving.
I am relaxed right now. You should have been here an hour ago.

>STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP
>The mages guild lumbers over to the starting line crushing many would be racers too slow to get out it's way
>The archwizard sit at the contols
Are you pansies going to sit around talking all day are are you ready to race!

>>48011073
OF COURSE ITS MAGICAL POORIDGE, OTHERWISE WHAT WOULD THE POINT BE EH SAM?

>Stares accusingly, one eye nearly seemingly popping out of his head

>>48011085

Oh yea, I totally remember how "safe" that concotion you wanted to patent as "elixir of eternal life" was.

It turned 3 of my most gifted archivists into zombies!

>>48011090
WE AWAIT YOUR WORD!

>>48011087
Heh. I see.

>>48011090

Yessir! All the technicalities are ready, the rules are in place, the binding contracts are binding, and we're still searching that missing comma but it should not be very important, so we can start without it!

>>48011085
I'll watch from inside then. Don't disappoint me Obsidia, I put a lot of work into the wards and spells.
>Walks back into the building.

>>48011059
>He looks down towards his feet. And incredibly depressed look, and aura about him.
... I don't look that old... do I? I mean.... I'm only 24... I keep good care of my body.... dont I...

>>48011089
I was around, in spirit at least. But you might have known that. Or, will know it. Has known it? I never know which tense to use when I speak to your depaaartment.
Wait, do you know who's going to win then?

>>48011090
>Clutches tight to her dragon's back
>Ready to go!

>>48011107
That wasn't even mine! It was a group project my entire class collaborated on that I wanted no part of!

>>48011129
I won't, I promise!

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>48011090
"Were ready, you over bloated cocksucker!"

>>48011085
Right..don't get hurt. Please.
>walks to the sidelines
>>48011111
>CHECK'D

>>48011090
Uh...
>The engine on the metal airship seems to be stalling.
READY!

>>48011090
>Standing at the starting line stretching
Just say Go so I can win this, you senile bag of shit.

>>48011140
>Ignore the rolling

>>48011140

You may want to know that...

>wips out THE SCROLL

Section 237506324, Comma 13bis: "Insulting the archwizard is punishable by polymorph into a little girl and being the bitch of said archwizard for a variable amount of time"

>>48011090
>Lies down low against the raggedy carpet

Oooooo I'm ready for this! Me and my dragon are going to win this!

>Again pats the raggedy ass carpet

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>48011009
Blegh, I've grown weary of demonflesh, it all tastes like hate and contempt after a while

>>48011061
Oh rest assured lawkeeper, I have no interest in participating.

Eh, suppose I'd better find a seat.
>rolls to conjure eldritch VIP box seating, complete with bar and tender

Ah, that should do nicely

>>48011155
Uh... that doesn't sound good...

>>48011138
That thing knows it's not allowed to eat the competition... right?

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You know he already said Go right?
You guys would never win a race for souls...
I'm just here to be a cheerleader.
Woo!

>>48011090
>shaking her joints loose, Skora slides up to the starting line, the board not appearing to be entirely concerned about things like 'terrain' or 'friction'.
You bet your ass I am! Er.. sir. Lord. Archwizard. ...Majesty?

>>48011075
We'd never do that!

>>48011080
I'm very good at drawing out court sessions, my old - lawyer?

>>48011132
I don't know even know what we're doing right now. I've running for days.

>>48011164
>Stares
>Blinks

"What kind of fucking law is that."

>>48011194
Running. Been running for days. Running water? Time? I should go. Thank you, no thank you.

>>48011174

Well, it technicall can, as as an outsider, it is not bound by the rules

>shudders

>>48011196

The late-archwizard one, I believe. Or the one before that. Bit of a mess to sort out the timeline after last week chronogalore spell

>>48011194

Well, that is one of the few points our respective fields of magic overlap. I'm sure it would be a duel for the ages, if you concede me the pun.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>48011176
The fuck!?!
>He'd look up at the timing board, and low and behold, it started gives minutes ago.

Shit!

>He'd quickly cast his water wave spell. Causeing a large wave of water to be summoned forth.
>Using his surfboard, he'd proceed to ride this wave!
rolling for wave size

>>48011194
>>48011207
>Shrugging, Nohma relaxes in the rickety folding chair he brought with him. Hand clutching a betting slip in his pocket. Probably wasn't a good idea to ask a chronomancer to help you with betting, but hey, everyone likes money.

>>48011164
Like I give a shit. If the Archwizard wants to fight my dad then go ahead. I'll watch.

>>48011196
Fuck the law anyways.

>>48011225
...
She's fucking with you, and not the enjoyable kind of fucking, you braindead metalhead.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011174
Can it, Sir Sparks!
>The airship takes to the air!
>Hopefully.

>>48011111
>he squinks at you
Nice quints

>>48011126
>>48011138
>>48011140
>>48011155
>>48011158
>>48011172
>>48011188
>He snorts a line of powder
OKAY! CHANGE OF PLANS EVERYONE! FIRST PERSON TO PASS ME IS THE WINNER
>The guild tower breaks into a sprint leaving you all in a cloud of dust

>>48011256
>He'd turn his head back, before calling out.
I'd look at the chrono board jackass! It's already timing us!

>>48011145
I promise!

>>48011174
It is a zombie! It only eats what I tell it to.

>>48011279
>The dragon immediately takes off after the guild

>>48011279
"ALRIGHT YOU SONS OF BITCHES, LETS GOOOOOOOOO!!!"

>Demon horses Roar and then charges down the track towards the guild

>>48011279

>checks THE SCROLL

DARN HE CAN DO IT!

>whips the long dead husks of ancient debtors

GO, YOU WITHERED FOOLS, GO

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>48011279
>unleashes a stentorian Nordic battle cry
>the thunderhorse rears and charges

>>48011279
I passed you ages ago ! Wait, no, I think that was your grandfather, Alttruthius.
Curse it.

>Na-ah continues running, his meager mortal feet slowly pushing him along the track.

>>48011279
EXCELSIOR! FOR STEEL AND GLORY!
>Fires his gun as the airship starts to fly after the guild.

>>48011279
Fucking drug loving arch-wizards!
>he'd quickly alter his water waves course. Following after the guild.

>>48011279
>The huge pinball machine spits out an equally huge pinball with jill at the center
YAHOOOOOOOOOO!

>>48011225
>Rocking slightly from foot to foot on her own board, Skora glanced down the line of competitors, -not easy with the Archmage's own contraption blocking the majority of lines of sight- she caught a glimpse of the wave rider down the line.
That.. is.. wow. I need some of that! Haven't been on the sea for too long, and that looks like way more fun than half the stuff this city can throw at me!

>>48011279
Wait, wha-? No! Damnit!
>throwing an arc of black strings at the guildhall, Skora attempts to hook onto the shadow of the speeding building!

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>48011279
WOOPPEEEEE!!!!

>Attempts to get his raggedy as carpet going

>Nevermind those rules, I fucked up on what I heard! Sorry guys, was an accident.

>>48011279
>Frank presses a button and a rocket 5 times the size of the cart pops out of the trunk and starts firing up
>all three of the lower goggles onto their eyes

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>48011279
Well then, I'm gonna show you the power of dragons!
>Takes off after the guild

>>48011297
>passes her
REAL dragons I mean. Fucking disgrace Cyclops!
>Throws a fireball at her mid-flight

"CMON, YOU FUCKS! FASTER!"

>Demon horses go faster, leaving a trail of fire behind the chariot

>>48011338
Its ok rad

>>48011329
> The young man flashes her a wink and a smile as he continues riding after the guild.
>Mumbleing to himself
Take it all in ladies... take it all in...

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>48011346
You son of a-!
>The dragon breaths ice at the asshole Red

>>48011332
>Carpet careens wildly forward, flipping, spinning and diving around through the air in what could begrudingly be called forward motion

TIME FOR SOME REAL RACIN'!

>Speaking seemingly random words, a giant snail pops up below him, which he sits his carpet on

AWAY MY GLORIOUS STEED!

>Begins slow lurch forwards

>>48011362
>The breath and the fireball cancel each other out
Ahahaha! Catch me if you can!

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>48011357
OI! LOOK OUT BELOW!
>Ballast starts to drop from the airship!

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>48011279
>He and his equally nonmagical horse ride off and try to catch up with the other

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>spurs on the thunderhorse

RRRRAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

are d20s preferable here to d100s?

>>48011329
>yanked from her position at ludicrous speed, Skora is pulled along by her tether to the building rather than any innate speed, black board skimming the ground
>looking left and right at the various devices, magical projections and arcane steeds keeping up and vying for position around her
Why do I feel like saying 'Now this is Mage-Racing?' ah, who cares? This is incredible!

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011385
>Indiscriminate scream of rage and hatred
>Roll to breath more cold at him and catch up

>>48011346
>He's still quite a bit ahead of most of the pack (granted one assholes in an airship. But that doesn't matter when your riding shirtless and in a pair of bathing/shorts atop a fucking Tsunami while on a surfboard)

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>48011383
>Grumbles something, angrily

Damnit monty... sabotaging my slug..

>Reaches fown with a small wand, tapping the smail's tail... what spell could he be casting?

>>48011400
I HEARD THAT GREENTEXT! PREPARE FOR MY NEXT SALVO!
>More ballast bags.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011397
>Roll to throw a Kobold at her face.
>Where does it come from? It's a mystery.
EAT TUCKER!

>>48011400
I'd attack you Son of Krypton but I'm a bit busy over here!

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011429
"AH SHIT, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! ALRIGHT, MUSH!"

>Rolling to dodge

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>48011386
Oh SHIT!
>He quickly casts his earth wave spell towards the dropped ballast. Hitting it with a heavy blast of rock away from him
>Noticing his wave is running a little low, he prepares another blast of water wave and earth wave, before casting the former of the two.
He continues riding strong along the wave

>>48011173
>box appears above a section of the stands
>it hovers for a moment, then flatly crushes the numerous goblins unfortunate enough to sit underneath

...eh, close enough

>slithers over to the box, takes a seat at the bar
Brass City Bourbon, skip the rocks.
>Aeon bartender stares silently at me while pouring, serves without a sound

>sips fire plane whiskey through eye-mouth, grins
Friend, whoever trained you did a fine job.
>the Aeon blinks
Thats exactly what I'm talking about. Now, time to check on the race
>clicks on a scrying screen above the bar

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>48011393
FASTER, DAMN NAG! ELSE I REPLACE YOU!

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>48011437
>The kobold and cold cancel each other out
>Again
>More anger
>More cold
>This time mixed with bolts of negative energy

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>48011427
>A brilliant explosion engulfs the snail, as the shell rockets through the air on the explosion

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

>The shell rockets through the air, on a crashcourse with the Airship tossing down ballastas>>48011429

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>48011438
>Dodge some of the ballast bags

"FASTER!"

>Demon horses roar once more to try and get into the lead

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>48011460
>A KART WITH SPIKES ALL OVER IT DRIVES STRAIGHT TOWARDS HROLFNIR
YEE HAW MOTHAFUCKA
>ROLLING TO IMPALE STEED

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011443
>Metallic laughing.
HAHAHAH!
>He's gotten a bit of a lead!
>>48011468
>Metal plating!
>Please!

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>48011429
FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DROP THOSE ON ASSHOLE!
>He once again sends a blast of earth magic towards the deployed ballasts before continuing on

I HEAR THE ELDERLY HOME IN SAMSUL IS LOOKING FOR SLOW ASS AIRSHIP DRIVERS LIKE YOU TO FERRY THEM ABOUT!!!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48011466
>Throws another Kobold
Go for the eyes Tucker...well eye!
>Snickers

>>48011390
>It seems criticus blessed thit idiot stage magician because he's still some how in the race
>for now

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>48011437
Hey, it's not my fault that I look this damn good while riding a surfboard!

>He gives a few sharp flexes and poses before turning his attention back to trying to retake the lead
rolling for how seductive I am while posing

>skimming the ground at tether's length from the guildhall, Skora glances to one side. Those mages were getting a little too close for comfort..
>on the other hand, nobody seemed to have really noticed her board sailing on after the guild hall
>anonymity has it's uses after all!

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>48011498
>The kobold manages to avoid all the death heading towards it
>Is now on Obsidia's dragon
>Rolling to push it off

Rolled 18, 17 = 35 (2d20)

>>48011482
>most of the armor is knocked off

HAH! YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THAT EASY?!

>LAUNCHES THUNDERBOLT TO ELECTROCUTE THE KART
>ROLL FOR SHOCK DAMAGE
>SECOND ROLL FOR MORE SPEED

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>48011510
>Rolling to ignore stupid sexy flanders

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>48011510
"OH NO YOU DONT!"

>Attempts to conjure fireball

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48011487
>Hopefully the bottom plating can withstand that blast!
I DON'T THINK THAT INSULT EVEN MAKES SENSE!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48011510
>Slack jawed
What are you? A fucking faggot?

>>48011526
>Rolling for the kobold biting at the wings of the dragon to make it go out of balance

Alrighty folks, the Guild is very active today in this race!
>>48011526
>>48011498
We've got two fire licking lizards or whateverthefuck those things are battling it out-
>>48011525
Some girl trying to flee the race-
>>48011541
>>48011487
A Great airship battle-
>>48011510
And..o-oh...oh...mmm~..UHM, Y-YES IT'S VERY UNDERWAY TODAY FOLKS..Y...YEAH!

>>48011541
We're going down, Captain!
>The airship starts to slowly lose altitude, descending towards the ground.

>>48011510
>>48011535

"I HOPE YOU HATE SPICY!"

>Thows Fireball

>>48011568
>Looks up

"INCOMING!"

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>48011510
>a little tempting, but winning is importanter.
>with a flick of her wrist she sent a couple spheres of black splodge to try and unseat her surfer opponent

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>48011549
>Is a zombie dragon
>Feels no pain
>Rolling to dump negative energy on the kobold to get it off

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>48011534
>His sexy body, along side that of his sick poses and boarding skills is simply too much for some people to handle

>>48011535
Oh yes I do!

>He casts another blast of earth wave to meet with the fireball and block it from hitting him

>>48011541
It doesn't have to! It was enough to keep you busy while I took the lead!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48011568
YAAAAAA!!
>SPURS STEED ON FASTER TO GET AHEAD OF FALLING AIRSHIP

>>48011568
>The crowd cheers!
THE AIRSHIP IS GOING DOWN, THIS IS AMAZING! BAWH GAWD! THE MEDICASTERS ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN TODAY!

>>48011532
WHAT THE F-
>The kart is shocked and they scream, and it spins, somehow flips over, and goes rolling into the other mages

Rolled 16, 8 = 24 (2d20)

>>48011565
LIZARD?!
>Fireball in the general diretion of the Announcer (1st roll)

>>48011580
Tucker: For me mastah!
>The Kobold activates the explosive runes on its body and jumps Obsidia (2nd roll

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>48011586
>>48011600
>>48011602
Come on Captain, we need to pull out of this dive!
>Can the airship stop its inevitable fall?!

>>48011586
>dat nat 1

>>48011602
"EVERYBODY, LOOK OUT!"

>Rolling to move out of the way

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>48011635
>Forgot to roll

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>48011626
>Roll to do a barrel roll to knock the kobold away before it explodes

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>48011565
Flee the race? I'm literally tied to the goalposts you limp jellyfish!

>>48011586
...well, that was effective. Okay, I'm still tethered to the guild somehow.. can I pull myself in?

>>48011654
>You knock the Kobold back to Zirconis
Shitfuck!
>BOOM

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48011549
>>48011565
>>48011576
Take it in ladies!
>He gives a seductive wink aimed towards both his fellow competitors, as well as the audience watching.
You all know this looks good!

>>48011574
You're god damn right I do! Unless you're talking about me right now!
>He quickly conjures up another couple of rocks, chucking them towards the fire ball, and it's conjurer

>>48011576
>He simply covers himself up in water from the wave. Allow it to be absorbed and flung behind him as he begins getting ever closer. Flexing a little as he does so

god is it getting g hot in here, or is it just me be a little more seductive, cause that's what I'm rolling for

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>48011626
AH SHIT!
>Attempts to jump out of the way

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>48011678
>Laughs at his bad luck

>>48011677
>The large zombie dragon is now breathing cold at her

>DUE TO THE ANNOUNCER BEING SET ON FIRE, THE SOUNDS OF SCREAMS GOING "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" CAN BE HEARD VERY LOUDLY

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>48011683
PAH! WHAT FOOLISH GRANDSTANDING!!!

>unleashes blast of frost at him

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>48011586
>His tsunami quickly begins slowing down from the lack of water
Shit!
>He quickly casts another bout of water wave, cause the tsunami to once again grow, and allow him to gain speed.
>Sadly this has put him in fourth

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>48011683
YOU LOOK LIKE TWO OF THE HELLS!
>The airship is just barely above the ground, occasionally scraping.
>ROLLING FOR DEVASTATING INSULT!

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>48011683
>okay now having grown up and lived in a port town and having crushes on some of the surfers was beginning to be a bad backstory to have. Gliding across the ground a little distracted now.

>>48011706
>what was worse than that backstory was one of the other competitors noticing her and it was a dragon, Skora trying to jump the jet of superchilled magic.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>48011744
FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT! LET THR CROWD ENJOY THE SIGHT!

>Knowing that water won't work, he send out a blast of earth base magic towards him, hoping to block his way for a moment.

SERIOUSLY! THIS IS ONE FO THE FEW TIMES OF THE YEAR WHERE I CAN ACTUALLY SHOW IT OFF!

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>Meanwhile a dragon roar emerges from the smoke cloud created by the explosion.
>Red scales emerge from the smoldering crater
I AM FIRE, I AM RAGE! MY BREATH IS INFERNO AND MY WINGS A HURRICANE!
>Zirconis seems to have activated his bloodrage!
>The dragon jets forwards, can he catch up?

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>48011756
>That's not nearly enough to jump the ice breath!
>Roll to freeze her in place! OR at least make her lose hold of the guild

>>48011804
>Shit
>Begins cursing
>Quite colorfully

>>48011649
>Manages to move out of airship's possible crashing zone

>>48011683
>Dodges rocks

>>48011745
"YOURE NOT GETTING AWAY! IM GONNA MAKE THAT WAVE BURN!"

>Starts conjuring spell

HEAR ME
HEAR ME
MOTHER FUCKING SUN
BREATHE THEE
TOO ME
THE DEPTHS OF YOUR ANGRY HEART

>Attempts to breathe extremely hot fire into the tsunami

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>48011788
YOU OUGHT TO KNOW THAT SUCH THINGS MAKE YOU A TARGET!

>casts enchantment to grant his steed more speed

Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d20)

>>48011755
>The insult hits him like a punch to the gut, but his pride is just a little to much for the insult, and he's quick to overcome it.
>He then makes a retaliatory casting of earth wave, causing a large, thick wall of stone to rise five stories up in front of the airships path

rolling first of for seductive poses and muscle flexing, and secondly for how much the airship gets slowed/damaged

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>48011756
>>48011811
>unable to notice the HUGE DRAGON flying alongside breathing ice at her until too late, Skora was blasted by the ice breath! Fortunately for her a rather poor miss.
>losing her grip on her shadow tether and only narrowly preventing it from fully disappating a full three positions back from where she started
>still, she was still in this, and slowly pulling herself back up along that tether

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011811
QUIVER IN FEAR BEFORE MY AWESOME POWER!
>Slams into obsidia's dragon

>>48011845
>is charred, his hair on fire, and barely uttering out words
T...That's..pretty..hot..folks..heh..

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011825
>Forgot to roll again

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>48011845
Pull up, pull up, pull up!
>SPEED UP!

Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d20)

>>48011850
>Keeps breathing cold

>>48011852
>Roll to avoid getting knocked off course

>>48011825
You're REALLY TRYING TO SET WATER AFLAME!?! NOT GONNA WORK!

>He casts another water spell upon him, covering his body in ice cool water.
>The flames pass over his water covered body. causing steam to raise around him, but leaving him uninjured, and extremely MOIST!!!
>He runs his hands through his wet hair slowly, as he gives the audience a playful wink
feels like its time for the audience to receive some love to

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011850
>not entirely recovered, but largely back in control of her position; Skora watched the other competitors for someone else to be tethered onto that looked to be winning...
>well shit, maybe not
>just how fast IS the Archwizard? Dragons couldn't catch up

>>48011887
>one hand on the tether, the other conjuring up a classic magical ward to try and deflect the cold attack
>silently cursing the rules forbidding portals of any kind

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>48011907
forgot my roll

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>48011920
fuck these rolls!

>He quickly casts another water wave spell, allowing more water into his tsunami, and giving him a boost of speed towards the guild

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48011907
"THAT WAS THE VERY DEPTHS OF THE SUN! THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD HAVE SURVIVED THAT!"

>Tries to speed past him

>>48011887
>Laughs as he topples the dragon
LEARN TO RESPECT ME, BITCH!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>48011920
>>48011907
>The Announcer is flopping around tongue out
>rolling for how seduced the audience is

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>48011943
>Speeds past him

>See's the front of the guild

"CMON, MUSH! MUSH!"

>Tries to get closer to the front of the guild

>>48011858
Fear not mortal, I got this!
>casts Cure Light Wounds
Please continue, your commentary amuses me. Oh, and wear this.
>removes one of my tentacles, fashions it into a coat
I'm mostly immune the basic elements, this should have you covered for the duration.

>>48011950
>>48011941
>QUITE A LOT OF CHICKS AND DUDES ARE SCREAMING LOOKING AT YOUR SMOKING BODY
>HAD THAT BEEN A 20 YOU WOULD'VE HAD A HAREM

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>48011918
>It is easily, easily deflected

>>48011947
>Is toppled off course
>Frustration and rage
>Tries to right the dragon

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48011943
>He simply runs a lone finger along his posterior.
>A little bit of steam sizzles up from it

Have you SEEN me under my armor! It's the reason I have so many students flocking to join my classes this semester!
N-No that I would do anything about that though! So keep your dirty mind out of there!

>>48011947
>free from having to focus on defense because
>y'know
>fucking DRAGONS
>the little mage decided the target to focus next on
>was another dragon
>goddamnit
>Did she dump wis or something?
>Skora hurled a second shadowy blob at the gloating dragon, this one with a new tether attached to it and a grin hidden behind her dust mask

Rolled 7, 5, 6 = 18 (3d8)

>>48011984
crap, forgot my roll

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>48012004
Aaaand I forgot to roll. Maybe wis really is a dump stat of mine.

>>48011982
>He quickly casts another blast of water wave. Allowing him to immensely speed up towards him.

>The two are now neck and neck at this point.

Remember pal! Unlike some price in this guide, I work out!

>>48012002
>Shakes head

"BACK IN MY DAY, STUDENT WOULD COME TO LEARN, NOT TO FUCKING WATCH THE TEACHER'S BODY!"

>>48012018
>>48011984
Thank you, Eldritch Horror! Now get away from me before we eat tentacles for dinner tonight!

Rolled 9, 16 = 25 (2d20)

>>48011992
>Whips his tail at the young girl
JUST GIVE UP! PLAY WITH PUPPPETS INSTEAD!

>>48012004
>>48012023
DON'T FUCK WITH ME!
>Breath attack

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48012004
>As he passes her, he gives her another playful wink. As well as a display of majestic poses!

I'll see you, after the race.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48012039
"YEAH, WELL YOU AINT SEEN SHIT FROM THSI OLD MAN YET YOU FUCKING NOB SUCKING ARMOR ALLERGIC CUNT!!"

>The curses and insults start forming into a bridge infront of him

>Rolling to see if he is in the lead

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>48012054
I promised I'd win, so I'm gonna win!

>Ducks under the tail while righting the dragon
>Rolling to pull ahead of him

>>48012100
>This*
>into a speed bosting bridge in front of him*

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>48012044
Well it looks like your days about
... To get passed!
>He quickly, and rather suddenly passes in front of the profanity mage. Leaving him just short of the goal

>Has ended up somewhere in fransia
Damn I think I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
>Sigh in defeat and heads back to the guild

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>48012054
>>48012023
>Got some of his scales chipped
HOW DARE YOU?! I WILL KILL YOU RIGHT AFTER I FINISH OFF THAT ONE-EYED WORM!

>>48012103
BUHUH! CRY ME A RIVER!
>Snaps at her and the dragon with his mighty maw, the moment they pull ahead

Rolled 14, 2 = 16 (2d20)

>>48012082
Woah girl, don't get distracted. Just because he's.. shit, what was I saying?

>>48012054
>fire was something Skora could do something about, magic focussed into a dish that sucked the light from the fire and used it to turn aside the heat
>well, in theory. You try speed-spellcasting while you're skimming across the ground after a walking magical guildhall
>still, the tether did appear to connect to the dragon..

>first for distraction, second for oh fuck a dragon

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>48012131
"NOT TODAY, FUCKER!"

>Rolling to be in ahead of brell

>>48012176
>AND LO AND BEHOLD
>LORD CRITICUS DID LOOK UPON HIS CHILD
>AND ROLL HIM A NAT 20

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48012170
>He gets his teeth in the dragon's tail
>Dumps negative energy into his face
FUCK YOU! FUCK ASSHOLES WHO MAKE FUN OF MY EYEPATCH! FUCK RIGHT THE HELL OFF!

Rolled 15, 1 = 16 (2d20)

>>48012172
>Rolling for RAGE and Intimidation
GRAAAAAAH! RAAAAAGH!

>>48012207
>Rolling for rip and tear

Rolled 14, 9 = 23 (2d20)

>>48012176
>Damn he's good. But Bells better than that!
>He quickly used double casts of water wave.
>Though this makes the tsunami somewhat unsteady, and his balance a little off, he's now riding atop a 300 foot tall tsunami after the guild.
>This gives him JUST enough to be neck and neck for first.

>>48012172
>oh fuck a dragon
>that's right
>they're powerful
>so while Skora's spell was a reasonable plan, it forgot to account for the fact that dragonfire is HOT.
>like, really fucking hot
>and while bright, mostly hot
>so her spell only blocked some of the heat before shattering and sending her flying,
>skittering across rocks as she reforms her tethers
>waaay further back
>oh hey, the other dragon's here
>isn't that just.. great.

File: I, FABULOUS ESTEBAN.png (378KB, 730x737px)

378KB, 730x737px

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>48012235
>SUDDENLY, A VOICE COMES FROM RIGHT BEHIND HIM, ON ANOTHER SURFBOARD
YOU, UPSTART PRETTYMAN, THINK TO OUTWHORE ME, FABULOUS ESTEBAN?
>POSES AND SLAPS HIS BUMCHEEKS
>ROLLING TO SEDUCE

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>48012176
HO HO HO HO!!! A CHALLENGE!

>ROLLING TO PASS MORDIN

THROW ME YOUR BEST VULGARITY!

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>48012223
>That's some damn disappointing Rip and Tear
>The dragon pulls its tail out of Zirconis's mouth
>Rolling to fly faster
>Away from Zirconis
>Faster than a living dragon could manage

>>48011050
Is it okay, if I leave my steam name here then? Mobai93. Sorry for the late reply. Had to prepare myslef for work.

>>48012207
yeah you tell those haters!

>>48012223
Shit shit shit shit... okay, think. Think.. the plan, keep the plan. You're.. probably dead if you try to mess with that dragon again. Not doing it.
But.. maybe..

>>48012274
>spying the other dragon in the race, Skora hurls another tether-linked orb at it
>wait, why is she not linked to this one? That's weird.
>probably isn't important or anything

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>48012235
"You know kid, you aint half bad."

>>48012260
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? THE FORGOTTEN NORSE GOD OF DICKS!?"

>Rolling to still be in the lead
>Guys were almost at bump limit I think.

>>48012276
Its ok anon

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>48012289
Damned stupid rolling forgetfulness.
Not even trying to resist the roar, she's been burnt and is is officially spooked. Just the sticky blob throw.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>48012274
>>48012252
>Boiling with anger Zirconis releases one mighty breath attack to hit both of them, not caring about winning anymore.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48012255
FUCK MY SIDES!!! I WAS HOPEING SOMEONE WOULD DO THIS!!! BUT I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD

>Having been using seduction this entire time, he's immune to it.
>Though the ass slap is something else
>This causes him to fall behind for moment, before regaining his composure

ESTEBAN!?! WHEN DID YOY JOIN!?!

NEVERMIND! WHATS IMPORTANT IS THAT WE SHOULDNT BE FIGHTING AGAINST EACH OTHER... but against them!!! JOIN ME, AND TOGETHER WE CAN BoTH WITH THIS RACE, AND LOOK GREAT!

>Is treating the losers who have dropped out of the race

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48012277
Yeah!

>>48012289
>Keeps flying
>Ignores the tether
>Teleportation is still banned

>>48012312
>Avoids the dragonfire
>Tries to pull even further ahead

Rolled 18, 4 = 22 (2d20)

>>48012295
HOHOHOHOHOHAAA!!! LETS HAVE ANOTHER!!!

>THROWS ICE SPIKE AT THE CHARIOT AXLE
>SECOND ROLL FOR CATCHING UP CLOSER

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>48012347
>Rolling for really hot flames to burn ice pick

"DAMN, YOU'RE SO SLOW EVEN DEAD ODIN COULD HAVE BEAT YOU IN THIS RACE!"

>>48012260
>>48012295
>He quickly casts another double dose of water wave.
At this point, I'f the 460 foot tall tsunami were to crash, it would flood everything within a ten mile radius.
>Though it does allow him to tie up with the other two for the lead.

>>48012312
>swinging on the end of her strand of magic keeping her connected to the guildhall, Skora dodges the incoming magical blast
>because fuck blocking that
>maybe she'll lose some speed or whatever
>dodging draconic fire is really fucking important

>>48012346
>don't you love it when a plan somes together?
>even if you ARE more burnt than you'd like when it does
>see, Obsidia's mount isn't tethered to Skora
>and neither is Zirconis
>your shadows are tethered to each other now
>have fun with that
>if one falls, they'll pull the other along with them

Rolled 17, 16 = 33 (2d20)

>>48012389
forgot a roll

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>48012395
I swear I actually remembered this time.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>48012382
SLOW DEAD ODIN?! BEWARE WHOM YOU MOCK, LEST THEY SEE FIT TO CAST YOU DOWN!

>SUMMONS A HUGE HAILSTONE TO FALL ON THE CHARIOT TONGUE

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>48012389
>>48012326
>>48012402
I, Fabulous Esteban, WOULD NEVER JOIN FORCES WITH YOU, BESMIRCHER OF THE NAME OF MANWHORE! MANWHORING IS NOT ABOUT BEING PRETTY! MANWHORING IS ABOUT DEPRAVITY AND SELLING YOURSELF TO THE PESTILENT DESTITUTES OF LAS TIERRE DE LAS MUERTES TO PAY HE, EL DOCTÓR, TO KEEP THE MYRIAD OF SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AT BAY!
>HE, FABULOUS ESTEBAN, ATTEMPTS TO ASCEND AND BECOME HE, ESTEBAN ASCENDENT, CELESTIAL WHORELORD

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>48012436
>With the two very angry, very concentrated idiots focus on their little battle, Break is quick to take the chance to steal ahead and take the lead.
>The goal is so close, he could literally lick it!
>But he's not going to do that, because that's disgusting.

See you at the end!

Rolled 19, 11 = 30 (2d20)

>>48012389
"Huh, looks like im gonna need a bigger chariot."

>>48012436
>Rolling to shield chariot with protective aura

"YOURE SO USELESS, EVEN LOKI WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT SLOWING ME DOWN!"

>>48012451
>Shields eyes as light comes down upon Esteban

>>48012477
"OH NO YOU DONT!"

>Rolling to get ahead of Brell

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>48012477
NOT SO FAST FOOL!

>CASTS SPELL TO FREEZE HIS TSUNAMI

>>48012451
BY THE NINE LORDS OF THUNDER!!!

>>48012451
SHIT!! WE HAVE A GOD AMONGST US!!!

>As the literal man whore ascends to Godhood, Brell imply shrugs. Focusing his efforts in the last few feet left in front of him

>>48012395
>>48012346
>Realizing that, Zirconis just lets himself plummet to the ground with a single shout of "Git fucked"

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>48012395
>The dragon tries whacking the tether with a claw

>>48012451
>Is protected from the effects of the whorelord by being a little girl

>>48012521
>Fuck
>ESCAPE THE BONDS!

>>48012521
Two down! Yeah!

>>48012451
>slowly pulling herself along her magic back towards the archwizard, the mage was forced to block her eyes from the glowing sight of..
>of...
>you know what? I don't think words do it justice. She's stunned, distracted and flat footed from the sight.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>48012542
>Protects the tether with his wing

>>48012503
>Seeing the vulgar man behind him. And only a few feet of space between him and a great win. Brell puts every last bit of magic left in him into a blast of water wave. Hoping to take the win with it as the others deal with the coming of a new Slanessh

14 or more for win, 6-13 means a tie

>crosses finish line following the Ascended God of Manwhores

BY THE NORTH I NEED A DRINK!

>snatches and guzzles a huge cask of mead
>returns to normal
>thunderhorse returns to ice realm, blowing steam

My word, that was something else....

>opens another mead barrel

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>48012577
now I know I rolled that time!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>48012503
>>48012507
>>48012514
>>48012542
>>48012577
>>48012544
>He, Esteban Ascendant, WHORES AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. SUCH LAVISCIOUS CONDUCT HAS NOT BEEN SEEN ON THIS WORLD SINCE SIX MONTHS AGO, THE LAST TIME HE, ESTEBAN ASCENDANT WAS A DIVINE BEING!
>HE, FABULOUS ESTEBAN, ATTEMPTS TO SHOOT HIS MAGNIFICENT GLOW LIQUID ACROSS THE FINISH LINE TO WIN THIS RACE

>>48012593
agree to a tie for first?

>>48012615
Sure man, that's generous of you

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>48012577
"NO NO NO! IM ALMOST THERE!"

>>48012607
glow liquid... really? Nothing better?couldn't have said "extend my spasm cannon in an attempt to touch the finish line

>>48012566
>The tether breaks!
>One final burst of speed!

>>48012593
>>48012607
>>48012577
>That is, clearly, not enough
>Crashes
>Bounces off her dragon
>Screaming

>Probably coming fourth or fifth or whatever (which mind you isn't too shabby when racing against demigod-level mages and an ascended actual deity)
>Skora slowly slid past the now static mage's guild, one hand shattering the tether connecting her to it
>still trying to get over the sight of what she just saw
I... wow. What? What happened back there? I just remember.. oily muscles.
What.

>>48012635
HA! NAT 1! ALSO HA! SO IS ESTEBAN!

>>48012646
>winces at the screams
>quaffs more mead, finds some ale

Oh my... I do declare I need a nap...

>wanders away to return to his quarters for a peaceful rest

>so how is the winner decided?

>>48012451
>deity senses kick in
Huh? Barkeep, adjust the picture!
>Aeon does so, God Esteban snaps into focus
>N'eet spit-takes heavily

>>48012690
Hell if I know.. hey, can I get a quick check-up? I think I'm a little bit.. roasted.
Also maybe frozen. Not to mention my arm from being pulled along that fast..

>>48012697
>>48012667
>>48012607
>BRELL WINS THE RACE IN A CLOSE FINISH
>ON ACCOUNT THAT BUSTING YOUR LOAD ACROSS THE FINISH LINE DOES NO CONSTITUTE AS A WIN

>>48012635
>UNFORTUNATELY, HE, FABULOUS ESTEBAN'S LOAD SPLASHES ALL OVER MORDIN

>>48012665
>He lets his focus upon the tsunami subside.

>Thus causea the water to disperse around the finish line

>Billions if gallons of water and sand come crashing down. Flooding the area, and creating a brand new Lake.
>Using a blast of earth magic. Brell forces the sand to gather nearly along the edge of the new Lake. Creating what looks to be a paradise
>He cannon balls into the lake from 500 feet up.
>He swims back to the surface

Well that was fun! Abd I tied for first place! Wasn't actually expecting to win this!

>>48012723
are you finished racing?

>Munching the last of his chestnuts from his seat on a balcony on the guildhall/archwizard's kart. the shaman withdraws his betting stub
>"2/1 weird shit happens and the victory is sorta weird because of that"
>hell yes, who's a shaman who just won 20 silvers?
>this guy

>>48012747
>>48012635
>Suddenly, burning wheels dissapear as the chariot halts at the finish with the others

"Gods damn it!"

>Chariot vanishes to the under realm

"Gods... Damnit."

>Sits on the side and wipes off disgusting cumm

>>48012690
>Rolls to a stop on the ground
>Her dragon slides to a stop near her
>At least she crossed the finish line
>Whimpers in pain

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>48012726
Well, guess that about wraps this up. Only one thing left to do.
>proceeds to start devouring the audience
>rolling to determine casualties

>>48012748
>Sits silently

>>48012780
"You hurt, kid?"

>>48012780
>i give that bitch a heal
>bitches love heals and a new eye

>>48012763
Well unless there's a bonus round after this I wasn't ever told about, yeah I guess the glowing figure who's painted the ground white for a couple hundred feet means the race is over and I could do with not feeling like I've been pan-seared!

>>48012748
Oh, stop showboating.. not like that lake's gonna last without a source anyway.. ow, I think I pulled about half my muscles holding onto that runaway masonry..

>>48012814
>Groans
>Begins cussing profusely
>Has quite the vocabulary

>>48012827
>The eye cannot be healed
>Fucker
>The rest of the healing is appreciated though.

>>48012834
>heal slap

>>48012847
>only because she's a little bitch who refuses to be happy

>>48012780
>>48012809
>>48012814
>>48012827
>>48012771
>>48012763
>>48012723
Oh quit being a bunch of pussies! Come have a swim in lake "ESTEBAN"... or Silver sliver... whatever works!

>>48012869
>Sighs

"No thanks, kid. Im heading home."

>Looks up

"Take me home, Gods."

>Teleports out of sight

>>48012869
>Is too young to be affected by the power of the whorelord

>>48012863
>Slowly gets up
>Or to her knees, at least
>Her dragon glows and goes back to being young

>>48012869
no.
>is old and hates swimming

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>48012834
>Stepping our if the lake. The young man runs his hand through his slick, wet, GLORIOUS! hair. Giving you a wink as he does so.

Yeah, but it'll be here for as long as the guild hall is. So until then, I proclaim we have ourselves a nice lakeside BBQ and relax for a few days.

seduction/persuasion

>>48012748
>>48012869
>>48012869
>>48012942
>HEARING THE LAKE BE PROCLAIMED IN HIS NAME, HE, FABULOUS ESTEBAN, BLESSES THAT GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT DEN OF LECHERY AND SIN
>A LIGHT SHINES FORTH FROM THE DIVINE NETHERS, A BEACON OF DEBAUCHERY DRAWING WHORES FROM MILES AROUND, LIKE BITCHES IN SLUTTY MOTH HALLOWEEN COSTUMES TO OTHER BITCHES IN SLUTTY FLAME COSTUMES

>>48012929
>>48012907
>>48012897
Buzz kills!

>>48012965
aaaaand it just got weird. i'm going back to the guild.
>heads inside

>>48013001
>>48012965
Yeah~... so am I...
dammit captcha... Pizza does not constitute pie!

File: 6qLjt.gif (2MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 400x225px

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>48012869
>heal slapped
Ooooh, wow that's.. actually surprisingly painful. Thanks anyway, dragons are scary!

>>48012942
well if you insist on a seduction roll
>hiding her slight laugh at the slight ridiculousness of the cliche scene playing out in front of her, Skora mulls the thought over in her head.. it's no ocean but the idea of spending a couple days like this has it's appeal

>>48012970
Says you.

>>48013047
I ALMOST HAD IT!

>>48013066
Last I saw, you were staring at my ass from last place for the last five minutes!

>>48013036
it's called a pizza pie for a reason

>>48013087
>>48012970
>walks over and hands Brell the I.O.U
By winning this race, you have obtained a acknowledgement of a debt from me to you.
Now excuse me while I go get some more cocaine or some shit.

>>48013066
And so did I until your first ice blast! I could have climbed aboard the guild hall and then er... jumped in front of it... had the archwizard's attention..
...
Thanks, actually. That would have been terrifying if I'd actually won, or even got close! Sorry I kind of.. messed with your own attempt.

>>48013087
Well.. it was the best looking thing around. Just saying. Unless you're into dragons I guess, maybe.

>>48013123
>reason
I know, that's the joke...

>>48013087
You shut up.IF I hadn't been distracted trying to beat two different racers I could've beat you easy.

>>48013152
I had a plan, it was going to be awesome.
>Pouts