40k headcanon

>>47827885
I like to pretend it's still a silly parody of space opera and sci fi.

>>47827885
space marines are failed experiments of the emperor that while useful to keep the enemies of man at bay, have proven they are unstable, expensive pieces of meat. catachans can be stronger, mechanicus can be smarter, inquisition can bring down the wrath of god, the assassin clans can be stealthier and more successful.

why do these pauldron people exist?

>>47828013
To show off the power of humanity through the mounting of ever growing pauldron sizes. Unfortunately, the hats of the Guard are a better method of this.

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After Yarrick beat the shit out of countless Warbosses some orks began to think maybe dis humie is just really an ork in a clever disguise and from the sound of it dis emperor git seems like he could give good ol mork and gork a pounding.

>>47828084
source on that comic?

The "Khornate Knight Incident" never happened the way it was written in the codex. The reason why it was written so was because the author was a Grey Knight fanboy and was rejected by a Sister of Battle stationed on Titan.

>>47827885
The orks are like some super hat wearing beast. if humanity replaced their space marines with modified ork/man living weapons everything would have been fine and the galaxy would have been a better place (for humans at least)

the sensei and the star child are too interesting too be written out of canon. same thing with malal.

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Psyker sacrifices don't keep the Emperor alive. In fact, it's probably making things worse.

The reason he's still not totally dead is that there are a number of orks out there who are convinced that he's alive and well. If more orks adopted this mindset, The Emperor would return to full health.

>>47828262
Yeah, Malal's just hiding in the warp fucking the other chaos gods because he hates them so much. He's known to a few mortals, but the never get his name right.

>>47828267

>Some in the Inquisition know this
>The ordo xenos is in charge of trying to covert orks

>>47828267
>>47828330

Actually, this might actually be a pretty good plan in actual 40k.

>>47827885
Khorne has some amount of honor.

The Tyranids in the galaxy are just the scouting force.

Chaos Undivided still exists.

Iron Warriors, Death Guard, Black Legion, Thousand Sons, and Word Bearers are more or less organized as a Legion.

Ollanius Pius' original story is unchanged.

All of the Black Crusades weren't actually to conquer the Imperium, but feed Chaos and weaken the Corpse-Emperor's lapdogs.

Carcharodon Origins are still unknown.

Tau are still the glimmer of Noble Bright hope in the Galaxy.

>>47828323

I like to imagine Malal is planning this huge plan against nugle to break into his garden and free Isha.


That or the Blood Ravens do it

>>47828419
blood ravens. definitely.

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>>47828448

Holy shit I just remembered something.


Arent there 2 Blood Ravens in the Eye of Terror on some repentance crusade? One of them being Force Commander hair gel it could happen as some bullshit DoW 3 ending.

>HEY YOU FAGGOTS DID YOU MISS ME?
>Force Commander your still alive?
>NO THANKS YOU GABERIEL
>OH YEAH AND TELL YOUR ELDAR GIRLFIREND MACHHA I GOT A PRESENT FOR HER

>>47827910
>it's still a silly parody of space opera and sci fi.

It was never a parody past Rogue Trader, and even then whether or not it was a parody is debatable.

It was, however, a setting that internally took itself seriously while still making references that an external viewer would get and find humorous.

>>47827885
>Space marine chapters are 10,000 strong on average
>Rainbow warriors and valedictors are the loyalist remnants of the two lost legions, hidden within the Ultramarines by a sympathetic Girlyman. This is part of why the Ultramarines were so numerous following the heresy.
>One of the lost primarchs was female and was eliminated (and expunged from history) after bearing fertile human-primarch children, thus treating to replace humanity with a new species of astartes nephilim.

>>47828678
>>One of the lost primarchs was female and was eliminated (and expunged from history) after bearing fertile human-primarch children, thus treating to replace humanity with a new species of astartes nephilim.
You have shit taste.

Apply for Black Library.

>>47828357
>Iron Warriors, Death Guard, Black Legion, Thousand Sons, and Word Bearers are more or less organized as a Legion.

Barring Thousand Sons, they largely still are.

Word Bearers are actually the most "legion" organized of them all, and their war machine and power structure has changed little since the Heresy.

Black Legion still maintains its Legion heirarchy, while having tons of client warbands that come when they're called and auxiliary units of mortals and xenos allies.

Iron Warriors are still organized along Legion lines, they just have far greater autonomy than they used to until Perturabo shows up and gives them purpose.

>All of the Black Crusades weren't actually to conquer the Imperium, but feed Chaos and weaken the Corpse-Emperor's lapdogs.

This is the current canon.

>Tau are still the glimmer of Noble Bright hope in the Galaxy.

They were always the naive race that hadn't actually had to deal with the Big Dogs of the galaxy, and the axe hangs above their head for the day they get their shit kicked in.

>>47828678
>One of the lost primarchs was female and was eliminated (and expunged from history) after bearing fertile human-primarch children, thus treating to replace humanity with a new species of astartes nephilim.

That's...actually not a terrible reason for them to be purged.

I still don't want female Space Marines though

>>47828708
>They were always the naive race that hadn't actually had to deal with the Big Dogs of the galaxy, and the axe hangs above their head for the day they get their shit kicked in.
They've swung from Noble Bright Naive aliens to 1984 / Brave New World / Handmaiden's Tail kind of things.

One thing I forgot on
>>47828357
Tau don't have Riptides at all. Period. It's so against their tactical doctrine it causes me undying rage.

>>47828693
Is it so wrong to want a Book of Enoch analog (considering the heresy is a war in heaven analog, and we know the two primarchs were lost before it occurred)?

>>47828122
Fan rendition of a piece of writefaggotry. It's not half bad, check it out.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10835035/1/The-Emperor-s-Greenest

>>47828770
Given what you want; yes.

Best headcanon for the lost Primarchs are Sigmar and Crom the Everchosen.

>>47828678
My headcanon with the lost legions is that their genetic legacy lives on. Since it's believed that a large portion of Ultramarines during the crusade were from the lost legions, and they were able to sustain their large numbers, I assumed that added the geneseed of their distant cousins to the gene pool, which might explain why ultramarines have a veried look, where as most chapters all have astartes that look similar both within their ranks and their successors. Like how most Americans have a little bit of native in them, I'd imagine that the modern ultras are mostly Guilliman's but with a trace amount of Rainbow Warriors.

>>47828736
Only female Primarch. And even then it's supposed to ilistrate in universe just how bad (and dangerous) an idea female marines are.

>Ollanius Pius is not a perpetual
>Young kid who just wanted to some cash to pay for tuition in college
>Last member of a dying religion.
>Secretly practices despite ban on religion
>Has Crisis of Faith due to being the last practitioner of religion, Emperor basically being a god, yet banning worship, even of himself. And Chaos shit going on.
>Assault on Imperial Palace happens.
>Horus leads forces to kill Emperor
>Cuts through Sanguinius and bloodies Emps.
>Loyalist forces try to reach Emps and save his ass
>Ollanius Pius gets there first.
>Sees Horus.
>Sees the Emperor.
>Understands what he must do
>Reaffirms his faith
>Stares down the embodiment of all evil
>Stands between them and flips Horus the bird.
>Goes out with a smile on his face.
>Big E sheds a tear for him as he kills Horus right after.

>>47827885
The Emperor will eventually be merged with his fragmented soul in the Warp and be restored, he will see the state of the Imperium and force radical change. No machine cult, no imperial cult, and peaceful relations with the Eldar and Tau. But some factions will see this as blasphemy and break away from the Imperium. Most of the Inquisition, the Adeptus Mechanus, several Imperial Guard legions, so mired in Imperial Creed they can't change. Or just don't wan to give up their power. But this time, all Space Marine chapters remain loyal,and are restored to being legions.

Space marine chapters are 10,000 strong, more or less considering losses

Jhagatai Khan is currently the reigning champion on a gladiator world held by the dark eldar, still planning his escape

All of the loyalist primarchs are existing in some form

The legion of the damned are "daemons" of the the emperor

Khaine freed the other eldar gods during hisnfightbwith slaanesh, who escaped into the mortal plane and his among their people as the Phoenix lords

The tau were designed by the eldar as a subservient race to replace mankind.
The larger parts of the hive fleets have already started showing up, there isn't some massive swarm that will BTFO of the Galaxy with no opposition

Malal is still around

>>47829134
Good taste.

The emprah getting wounded by horus scattered all the shaman souls around the imperium. The Black Ships are an attempt to reunite all the shards into a contiguous whole, but significant portions have reincarnated on their own and are trying to fix things on their own.
Worse, piling all the rest of those psykers in there is filling in the 'gaps' the other shards would fill with much less stable soulstuff.
If the emperor wakes now, he's not gonna be the same guy he was before sitting down to his ten thousand year shit.

Omegon fell to tzeentch and the alpha legion would be much more effectively helping the imperium from the shadows if anyone in the alpha legion could actually trust any other member of the alpha legion not to be tainted with chaos.

Ork psychic foofram is pretty limited due to them being extremely small minded; It's much harder to get them to care about the state of the universe as opposed to immediate irritations like running out of ammo or the trukk's engine exploding.

Rowboat has the best intentions, but is an uncreative, narrow-minded prick.

that the Materium is somewhat malleable much like the warp. Its just much "thicker" and needs titanic amounts of willpower to manipulate, such that's only really found in the likes of the C'tan or Tyranid Hive Mind. They're "reality psykers" which is why they don't use the warp.

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>>47829134
>All of the loyalist primarchs are existing in some form
He's dead, Medusan; make peace with it.

>>47829569
"Existing" and "alive" aren't the same thing.

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>>47829651
I suppose bits and pieces of him probably do exist as trophies strapped on to some heretics' pauldrons, yes.
He's very unlikely to make a comeback, is what I'm saying. Not much the writers can do with getting one's head chopped off and then the body never being recovered, unlike with certain other Primarchs who conveniently "mysteriously disappeared."

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>>47828013
Honestly, I kinda go with this.
The Imperium *could* make shit tons more Space Marines if they wanted to, but they don't because the Heresy literally almost wiped out humankind. The number they have (which is quite a bit more than official estimates due to deliberately shitty record keeping and loop holes) is artificially low, enough to be useful, hopefully not enough to threaten the Imperium's stability.
Traitor Legions, on the other hand, use all sorts of wacky methods: Soul-bonded clones, demon tainted Gene-seed, those weird pregnant women monsters, whatever Fabulous Bill is working on this week, etc. They can even make female Astartes, from time to time, but they're nearly indistinguishable from the men so no one really cares, and curing their infertility is something Bill hasn't figured out yet.
The trick is the traitors make do with crappier gear, and generally train new recruits to a poorer standard. Hence why traitor marines often seem to outnumber loyalists by a massive amount, but still lose a lot.
The core "Veterans of the Long War" types are still around, and when they show up it's usually a big fucking deal. Some have ascended, most have weird immortality pacts or time-displacement shenanigans that make them come back from the dead like comic book villains.
Also, Newcrons and Oldcrons co-exist and fight a lot.
>>47828357
I support all of this. I'd add that most of the Chaos gods *do* have positive sides, and people inside their territory are oddly content with their lot.
>>47828678
I can dig a female primarch, and the Emperor fearing her fertility.
I think it's totally *possible* to create a female marine, and it's totally possible to de-sterilize a male Astartes as well. An Astartes can only ever successfully mate with another Astartes, and so the Emperor decided not to create any more and destroyed all knowledge that it could be done. His weapons were meant to be short term, not a replacement for baseline humanity.

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>>47829569
Never! Frank Castle made it to the 31st millenium, and he'll have made it to the 41st as well!

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>>47827885
They exist & used the Tyranid attack as an excuse to go underground.

>>47829651
>Fulgrim has Ferrus' whole skeleton in his personal room.
>Every day Fulgrim has tea and talks to the skeleton as if they both were alive, not Daemons, and before the Heresy
>"That upstart Abby is getting anxious again. He's going to something foolish. We really need to tell Horus, but no one has seen him in ages!"
>"..."
>"I hope Curze comes back soon. I've been so worried. Gorgon, are you ok? You usually love your tea."

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>>47827885
>Emperor = Johnny
>Horus = Mark
>The Beast = Chris R.
I have no idea who's the rest of the cast.

I combine existing sci-fi settings into the 40k lore. Basically the stuff between 2m and 31millenium

> Event Horizon
First warp travel by humans ( not realising they need geller fields). And also first space hulk.
> kill zone series
First inter planetary empires and wars
> dune
First navigators, first psykers etc, also books from wider series deal with men of iron etc

>>47829883
New canon.

>>47829992
>> kill zone series
>First inter planetary empires and wars
Given Helghan's environment, they could possibly be from Morty's adopted home world.

>>47827885
>So, /tg/, what's your headcanon in the 41st millennium?
That it's a dark comedy setting that the IP's owners forgot was supposed to be a comedy.

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>>47828626
>OH YEAH AND TELL YOUR ELDAR GIRLFRIEND MACHA I GOT A PRESENT FOR HER

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>>47829906
I didn't come for these feels.

>>47829134
>The legion of the damned are "daemons" of the the emperor
I thought that was the Living Saints?

>>47829906
Disturbingly possible

Whenever the Tyranids kill a sentient being its soul is immediately absorbed into the Hive Mind and added to the collective consciousness. Additionally, a sliver of each soul is assigned to a Tyranid bio-form, from gaunt to tyrant. The more valuable and synaptic Tyranid bio-forms are reserved for the most persevering soul which in turn allows the soul to gain back more of its consciousness. This of course will never outmatch the control the Hive Mind has. Thoughts?

>>47830162
Why not both?

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Somewhere, in an ancient area of the warp, where the eldest deamons once dwelled and ruled before the gods came into being, he slumbers, and waits. He slumbers, surrounded by his works, waiting to create them once again. He waits to be summoned once more, to utterly annihilate the deamons once more. To rip and tear once more.
[Spoiler] I want to believe

>>47830486
I apologize, I cannot into spoilers

Fulgrim never actually took control of his body back.

>>47830506
CTRL+S

>>47830486
Doom could've easily taken place in the 40K universe.

>>47830724
Doom is probably a regular-ish occurrence in 40k.

One Guardmen just looses their shit, killing Daemons with a Shotgun until he becomes a Living Saint.

>>47830697
Bless your kind soul

>>47830968
A guardsman killing a couple of demons with a crappy stubgun is a plausibly regularish occurance.

A guardsman killing enough demons with a crappy stubgun to qualify for sainthood is an exceedingly rare but still possible occurrence.

A guardsman killing enough demons to make a Grey Knight do a double take, then entering the warp to continue killing all the demons all the time is just straight up impossible.

>>47827885
Space Marine Chapters are supported by a full regiment of IG.

Even the Eldar venerate the Codex Astartes, and view Marneus Calgar as their spiritual liege.

Asurmen's aspect warriors were drawn from his own meditations on the teachings of Robute Guilliman, though he knows in his heart that the decadent Eldar can never match the warriors of Ultramar.

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>>47831483
Matt Wards please and stay kill.

>>47831483
Even the Ultramarines venerate the Codex Astartes, and view Rogal Dorn as their spiritual liege.

Calgar's honour guard were drawn from his own meditations on the teachings of Rogal Dorn, though he knows in his heart that the romaboo Ultramarines could never match the Hammers of Dorn.

>>47830968
>>47831329
Doomguy would probably be a heretic in the eyes of the Admech
Considering Doom 4 is using hell energy as a power resources and the warp is essentially hell and Doomguy hates the idea of hell energy, he'd probably beat the shit out of all the warp drives in the navy

Doomguy is the hero we deserve but not the one we need right now
It's an even scarier thought to think of him just living in the Warp and making it his bitch

>>47831547
>wears blue
>has a horsehair plume
>red helmet (codex-approved tactical marking)
>makes his warriors all wear blue
>with white hats to signify their veteran status
face the music, sunshine

>>47830486
Doom is probably the most accurate depiction of a fluff marine ever.

A power armored bundle of hatred and fuck you, moving inhumanly fast while shooting with unerring accuracy, tearing anything that gets within arm's reach limb from limb.

Once the game hits the Hell levels and you're taking out multiple Barons, thats when Doom Marine hits Primarch levels

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Malal and his cults have been quietly amassing power for countless millennia, waiting for the perfect moment to return and bring ruin to the plans and forces of the other Gods.
As the 13th Black Crusade rears its head, that moment grows ever closer...

>>47827885
1)Chapters are 100000 strong.
2) Most of the lore regarding the imperium is mythological pseudo-history. For example the iron hands primarch isn't really named "ferus manus", his true name was lost to time
3) anything related to hard numbers, including things related to tech specs and weapons, as they dont make any sense
4)space marines are super humans, yes, but die just the same. No swimming through lava or any of the stupid stuff from the books

>>47831924
>Chapters being legion sized
Kek.

>Primarchs names not being known.
Nah.

>Numbers
Okay, yeah. I'll give you that one.

>None of the Spess Mehreen Magic
But anon, that's the best part!

>The Alpha Legion is made of scattered groups. Some are loyal to Big E others worship chaos. But they have little to no contact with each other and just assume each group is on the same page.

>The Second Primarch was Leman Russ's best friend and closest brother. When whatever happened to the missing primarchs happened, the Second refused to fight back. The Wolves slaughtered them without a fight. That is why Russ calls himself the Emp's Executioner.

> A certain show I can't mention about friendship and magic is located in the 40k galaxy. Completely unaware of the untold carnage surrounding their world.

>>47829992
You forgot gears of war. Cog could easily be a precursor to the mechancus

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>Felinids are adorable. So adorable that they must be contained to their homeworld or they would overwhelm pure human settlements with crossbreeds.

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>>47832108

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>>47827885
There is some chucklefuck in the Imperium who, at this very moment, sleeping on a bed mattress made from the feathers of the Primarch Sanguinus. It's damn comfy too. Wars have been fought and ancient lineages extinguished over this bed. It gives health and ensures fertility while also never staining.

It is a good and holy bed.

>>47831924
A headcannon is not something you wish to be true that explicitly is not. It's something you suppose could have occurred within the universe based on your knowledge of it.

>>47832022
>The Second Primarch was Leman Russ's best friend and closest brother. When whatever happened to the missing primarchs happened, the Second refused to fight back. The Wolves slaughtered them without a fight. That is why Russ calls himself the Emp's Executioner.
Look up Icarion Stormborn and the Lightning Bearers Legion

>>47832269
I was thinking more Thorodor and the Storm Eagles Legion. But I will look that up.

>>47832022
>A certain show I can't mention about friendship and magic is located in the 40k galaxy. Completely unaware of the untold carnage surrounding their world.
He-man? Thundercats? Some other 80's cartoon that upon viewership in moderen times seems to consist of 80% repressed homoerotic ideas?

>>47832362
The cast is not human. Think magic four legged creatures of a species with 3 sub-types. Not saying anymore cause I will get banned.

when i was young lad and first started playing, melta weapons weren't exactly well defined. at least not that i could find any where, all i knew was that they did a butt ton of damage with heat. some one told me that they fired a stream of super heated molten plastic, like some kind of high pressure anti-tank supersoaker. and while i am aware that it's just a heat ray, it will always be the squirt gun from hell in my brain.

>>47832390
I don't get it. Elaborate further.

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>>47832362
Carlos Mcconel is definitely the Thundercats homeworld and the story is of their ancient ancestors when they cast off their demonic overlords with a divine blade along with the help of the other beastmen on the planet. Before slaughtering them all afterwards to preserve their purity since they were the closest to the pure human strain of course.

I wonder of Felinids are popular among Ordo Xeno and Hereticus Inquisitors.

>>47832451
I think he's talking about Rakgol

>>47832451
>>47832466
Let's just say some believe friendship is magic.

>the emperor didn't create female space because rogue space marines could reverse the sterilization process, start making children, and you'd lose control over the number of super soldiers you had
>similar reason for female primarchs, except he didn't want to risk primarch incest. An inbred superhuman as a concept is horrifying, especially in the grimdark future
>the two lost primarchs were horribly mutated in the lab and the emp mercy killed them

>>47832516
No they were xeno lovers and hippies.

>>47832451
Small pastel colored equines

>>47832417
oh, also, my idea for the 2 missing primarchs is that they, unlike they're brothers were propelled not just through space, but also time, because the warp is a dick. around about the time of the last battle that's totally going to happen any day now, no honestly guys, they'll appear again, one on either side of the chaos devide.

>>47827885
>There a loads of Tau sized alien civilization either ignored by the imperium or actively fighting with it

>New crons and old crons co exist and fight with each other, new crons want to capture the c'tan and use them for god energy and the old crons want to take out the new crons before sealing off the warp and ending reality

>>47832022
>certain show about freindship and magic
>four legged
>primary colour happy creatures
Either anon here has shit taste in fanfic or THE BEST IDEA EVER! HAPPY TREE FREINDS IN THE GRIMDARK FAR FUTURE!

>>47832476
>>47832557
I sincerely have no idea what you're getting at. Is this a meme?

>>47832665
Google "Friendship is Magic".

>>47832562
I had a similar idea, with the change that one was sent back in time, met Big E, and gave him the idea for the Primarch project in the first place.

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My headcanon is that when Nassir Amit (the Captain of the Blood Angels Legion's 5th Company, the Flesh Tearers' first Chapter Master, and the guy who topped Kharn in his rage and bloodlust) fell to the Black Rage, he wasn't killed but instead entombed within the Tower of the Lost on either on Baal or Cretacia until the day where the Sons of Sanguinius fall upon their darkest hour.

I love the idea of the most bloodthirsty motherfucker in all of 40k history getting even more fucking angry and raging, and I love it even more when I remember the dude is suited up like Marneus Calgar in the Armour of Antilochus, even down to the dual Chainfists/Stormbolters.

Fucking Death Company Terminator Marneus Calgar.
Now that's fucking scary.

>>47832466
It is now my headcanon that FiM becomes the Rakgol.

>>47831658
I like to think that he's carefully trying to uncover and figure out ways of undoing all of Tzneetch's plans, and that's what's keeping him "lost"

>>47827885
Ollanius Pias made his sacrafice, and the idea that it was a Custodes or Terminator instead is actually a case where the Administratum record keepers millennia later looked back at the story and thought "There's no way this could have possibly happened, it's too unbelievable". Thus, there's conflict between the popular story and what is actually believed by the higher ups, where the more popular story is actually the correct one in this case.

Oh, and Space marines have penises but are sterile, they don't produce any sperm. What little sex drive they'd still have would be wasted shooting blanks.

>Luther won the civil war on Caliban
>Lion El'Johnson is a prisoner on the Rock
>The Fallen are actually the original Loyalist Dark Angels
>Cypher has evidence of this conspiracy and is trying to reach Terra to present it
>This is why the Dark Angels are so comically obsessed with hiding the existence of the Fallen to the point of killing their allies, and single-mindedly obsessed with hunting them

It just makes the Dark Angels more interesting to me, and better justifies their obsession with the Fallen, instead of it just being. "Oh, we had a civil war ten thousand years ago, but it was taken care of." Especially since other chapters (like the Space Wolves) have done worse (like actively opposing and fighting Imperial authorities) and gotten away with very little issues from the greater Imperium.

>>47832871
How would he be considered a loyal servant of the Emperor?

>>47832996
The same way the rest of the regular Death Company are.

You can be as completely bloodthirsty and angry as you want as long as your rage and hate is pure and holy and aim yourself at the Emperor's enemies slightly more than half the time.

The Rak'gol are fucking planning something. Those fuckers are more clever than they're letting on, they've got some massive fucking tolling device they're building in secret that shits out nightmares and radiation.

>>47833304
They're a FFG original.
We'll never see 'em on TT.

>>47833334
THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK

>>47827885
Farsight is a title secretly passed from commander to commander.

>>47828013
>catachans can be stronger
kill yourself

space marines are elite shock troops, literally not a single facet of 40k ground warfare makes actual sense so don't try and tell me that they can be replaced with something else because I guarantee that something else will make just as little sense in the grand scheme of things.

>>47829134
Continuing on

>>47829651
This exactly. Sanguinius and Ferrus both exist as warp entities, they aren't actually alive. The sanguinor is the good part of sanguinius and contains most of his power and memories, while the dark part became a daemon (not affiliated with any of the 4 gods though it probably woukd have fell to khorne) known as the black rage. The 2 warp entities fought at the moment of sanguinius' death and the sanguinor was victorious, shattering the black rage. Unfortunately its shards, though no longer capable of independent thought, spread throughout the blood Angels and continue to haunt them to this day

Ferrus was the opposite. At the moment of his death, his noble aspects manifested into a heroic warp entity while his rage and shame became the sapphire King. The sapphire King was victorious, and trapped Ferrus somewhere In the collective of the machine spirit. Free to act on its own will, the sapphire King quickly turned to slaanesh and became one of his champions. A small sect of the iron hands and the mechanic in seek to free the spirit of their primarch and return him to the mortal plane, but must act in secret to prevent the sapphire King from finding out.

Necrons are the universe's white blood cells that activate wherever a Tyranid hive shows up. They wipe the system clean of all organic life so the Tyranids don't have any biomass to harvest.

>>47829134
>his among their people as the Phoenix lords
Before or after he murdered them?

>>47828801
No.

No, it's reall not you fucking idiot.

>>47827885
There are no Perpetuals.
The Emperor is actually a scientist from the Dark Age of Technology who experimented on his own body to become superhuman.

>>47832011
Not him, but I like to ignore the stupid shit in the setting. Which is a lot of it. I tweak it to my liking since all I use it for is a Rogue Trader campaigns.

>>47832683
Fuck off, heretic. Magic is forbidden by His holy decree!

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Argel Tal is bought back by Raum from the warp, and realises how corrupt his brothers and the traitors have become.

Having been possessed in the past, he's now immune to demons. Realising this can work for immunity, he's gone and made it happen.

He starts a space marine chapter with his serrated sun Crimson colours, dedicated to fighting the demon - they become the Exorcists

>>47835178
Except for Rune Priests because that's powered by Fenris am I right.

>>47828678
>astartes nephilim

Holy shit that is an awesome sounding idea.

>>47831329
It's a big galaxy. The Guard number in the trillions. It's going to happen somewhere, at some time at least once.

I think it's already happened and the Grey Knights managed to capture him. He is pissed at the Knights for fuck up his skill streak, at the Imperium for being fucking awful and at the Emperor for being a cunt. Not quite as mad as he is at deamons because fuck deamons.

He is the thing in the un opened box on Titan, by the Emperor's orders never to be opened until the Imperium has fallen and all is already lost.

Perturabo has spent most of the last 10k years perfecting the biggest, baddest gun possible, and Logar has been meditating on how to create a warp portal large enough to bring it into realspace

>>47831637
Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ, you're right. Is that why the Eldar are such dicks? Because they know they'll never be as good as the Ultrasmurfs?

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>>47832390
I knew exactly what you're talking about, and you should be ashamed. I was giving you a way out, and you scorned my mercy. May the warp take you. brony

I want to think LordLucan's 50K and 60K fan fictions are canon.

>>47833768
>orgyn, catachan, adeptus mechanicus, etc. in no way can replace orgyn/catachan/mechanicus space marines.
you fucking wot m8?
last time i checked the guard are easily replaceable, have decent tech and if they live past their first mission are fucking on their way to become legends. Oh yea and they work with EVERYONE ELSE. Guard need some special troops? sororitus. Better tanks? Mechanicus or knight houses. precise killing weapons? Assassin clan X through Y. you need someone to fight specific threats with very ancient/advanced weaponry? Inquisition.

anything the marines can do humies do better.

the Sororitus and Guard could EASILY replace the failures the space marines are. (whether the imperium CAN take them all down silently...)

>>47828639
You're right, it's political satire, like Heavy Metal. Originally it was intended as generic system/setting, which you could use for any setting, like Dune, Star Wars etc.

>>47833877
I would rather say that nids are universe's defensive system,that show up when galaxy is fucked so much it have to reset

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>>47832390

Choose your next words with exceptional care.

>>47835504
I regret nothing. And it is entirely possible.

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>>47835504
>>47837080

>>47835504
The term is horsefucker, dolt.

>>47831329
In hindsight, how good are Doomguy's weapons? Doom 4's Heavy Assault Rifle fires .50 caliber FMJ, the Chaingun fires 15mm Tungsten Slugs & that's not counting some of his other weapons.

>>47835466
I forgot to mention
>organize themselves into the pathdex aspectartes under Asurmen's teachings
>every craftworld follows the same rough guidelines, despite their wildly different mindsets
all they want is for their ultramarine senpais to notice them

>>47837802
Well, iirc, the chaingun can fire indefinitely as long as it's supplied with ammo, and the plasma rifle seems to be superior in every aspect besides power to it's 40k cousin. I assume the rocket launchers are about the same, with an edge to the doom one because it's a semi-automatic with a magazine. Other than that, I believe 40k weapons are better.

>>47839571
Also BFG works on pure hate
So yeah,typical 40k solider equipment

Doomguy - 200 points Elites choice, Infantry (Character)
>WS5 BS5 S4 T3 A3 I5 W3 Ld10 Sv3+/--
Power armor, Heavy Stubber, Astartes Shotgun, Missile Launcher, Plasmagun, Eviscerator, Bolt Pistol, Haste, Berserk

Relentless, Fearless, Fleet, Crusader, Rending, It Will Not Die, Feel no Pain, Hatred (Daemons), Preferred Enemy (Daemons), Character (NOT Independent Character)

Haste, once per game, during the movement phase before moving, the haste powerup may be activated. Doomguy's unit type is changed to beast until the start of the player's next movement phase. It may not be used during the same turn as Berserk.

Berserk: Doomguy's unit type is changed to beast until the start of the player's next movement phase. Doomguy's unit type is change to Monsterous creature, gains +2A, becomes BS0, and may charge after running. It may not be used during the same turn as Haste.

>>47840367
>no eternal warrior
poop

>>47840476
oops

on a t3 model EW is pretty much mandatory, but on t4 it is only mandatory because the game is at stupid levels of power creep atm

>>47840492
>Implying Melta and S:x2 was ever particularly rare

>>47837147

Post that anywhere but here.

>>47828267
To be honest, I always thought this was pretty heavily implied by the official fluff. The Orks revere the Emperor of Mankind as a god that brings them billions of 'umies to fight, and that's what gives him the psychic power to keep himself alive. The psyker sacrifices are intended to dull his abilities and prevent him from fully recovering his body, but they're carefully administered so as not to kill his body outright.

>>47840367
>S4
>T3

All the loyalists Primarchs are dead. As in dead dead.
>Ferrus and Vulkan died on Itsvaan. Kurze may or may not have tortured the wounded Vulkan to death, but there are no perpetual shaenanigans
>Sanguinus died on the Vengeful Spirit (duh)
>Luther killed Jonson
>Dorn lost his hand and the rest of the body drifted in space
>The Khan died in a Dark Eldar arena after centuries of combat
>Russ was killed by some demon
>The force field keeping Roboute "alive" simply preserves his body
>Corax was lost in the warp

>>47841379
>They destroy them to maintain the status quo
What do the AdMech gain from the status quo that would justify this?

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>>47827885
My headcannon is that space marines' actual power level is what is seen in the tabletop, that is to say they an average space marine just over 3 times as useful as an average guardsman, their about 7-7.5 feet tall, and they can be killed and defeated with relative ease by most of the Imperium's notable enemies.

They still are effective fighting units, but on account of being arranged into forces no more than 1000 strong, they don't actually matter all that much to the wider imperium's continued survival. Instead it's the Guard, the Imperial Navy and the Admech's armies, that really keep the endless tide of foes at bay.

What we read about in fluff, with marines being nigh immortal god's of war, is what the wider general pupulation of the Imperium sees them as. To the man on Terra or Cadia, the space marines are literally the Emperor's Angels of Death, an unmatched fighting force that is feared by all that stand against humanity.

But in truth, they're simply a relic of the crusades, made redundant by the Horus Heresy. For the resources requied to raise but one chapter of Adeptus Astartes, 100 guard regiments could be founded or million battle servitors could be built. But the Imperium continues to create and suply Space Marines, not for what they are, but for what they represent.

>>47841554
I thought this was canon. Its certainly my headcanon as well at least.

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>>47841379
That's dumb. To have the a full stc archive doesn't just change the status quo, it would allow the mechanicus to throw aside the chess board and simply win. Destroying an archive doesn't give them power, for if they were to use it, they wouldn't even need the rest of the Imperium to shoot up to being the most powerful force operating in the galaxy by a massive margin.

>Guardsmen don't actually suck in close combat and a dedicated squad of pistoliers with chainswords can actually wreck a bunch of low level boyz before retreating and resupply.
>Guardsmen are more durable and efficient than the t-shirt and flashlight meme suggests.

That's all I feel is worth mentioning.

>>47841642
There is a difference between "silly" (primarch feather pillows) and "retarded and makes no sense" (yours)

>>47841661
You're a cunt.

>>47841665
Why does asking you to explain the reasoning behind your headcanon make me a cunt?

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>>47841642
Same reason why homebrew chapters are fine, but homebrew missing legions are almost always shit.
It's all about scale.

>>47841690
It's just a fucking headcanon though. Why you have to be so critical, its not like I was submitting it to GW to become full canon and waving my dick in your face while doing so.

Thread was just post your headcanons you couldn't just keep your critical crap on something that doesn't even affect you to yourself, you had to chime in.

>>47841733
I wasn't even being critical until you flipped you lid.
>>47841408, >>47841661 and >>47841690 are me, >>47841619 and >>47841733 are someone else.
All I wanted was an explanation for a scenario I saw as being particularly unlikely, even by headcanon standards.

>>47840318
no it doesn't. that is the unmaker. the BFG is a cannon.

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- Saul Tarvitz survived Istvaan III and became one of the first Grey Knight grandmasters.
(I know I'm a faggot, I felt really sorry for the traitor legion loyalists after reading the horrid heresy books.)

- The upper echelons of the Mechanicus know damn well that the Omnissiah isn't the emperor and are secretly plotting to become the new Necrons.

>>47829906
Jesus Christ man.

>>47827885
The Imperial Guard, Imperial Navy, Space Marine Chapters, AdMech, Inquisition have no binding obligation to help each other and hold roughly equal standing in the politics of the Imperium and Administratum.

In principle, the Admech has nothing against technological innovation but are in practice highly superstitious regarding things they haven't seen before or isn't described by a document elsewhere.

Tau and demons are blind to each other. Tau are a long long ways from FTL capable ships and are not a serious threat to the Imperium, just annoying.

The Inquisition holds no legal authority. It's authority rests on fear, high placed allies and Ecclesiarchal backing.

Most guardsmen spend their life fighting other guardsmen and actions against rebel worlds/systems accounts for the lion's share of Imperial warfare.

Most Space Marine chapters are not officially recorded anywhere and there are many more than officially exist. Most of these chapters are destroyed in imperial blindspots, lost, or turn to chaos.

Most of Khorne's worshippers are not homicidal maniacs.

>>47830486
>Deep within Mars the Mechanicus finds an artifact
>They interact with it
>Summons a shit load of Daemons
>Skittari prepare to fight them
>Notice something odd
>The Daemons aren't charging they're running in terror
>Another shape emerges
>It's a man
>This man utterly destroys all of the daemons with no effort at all
>Mechanicus forces stare in total shock and awe
>The man turns and starts walking out of the old crypt
>The terrified screams of the Chaos Gods can be heard in the void

>>47837147
Is that how the Primarchs were made?

>>47842088
Tarvitz is my main man too, but I personally think he works best as a martyr.

>>47842155
>In principle, the Admech has nothing against technological innovation but are in practice highly superstitious regarding things they haven't seen before or isn't described by a document elsewhere.

>Most guardsmen spend their life fighting other guardsmen and actions against rebel worlds/systems accounts for the lion's share of Imperial warfare.

I'm pretty sure these are actually canon.

>>47842220
I'm never really sure about the Admech as they're presented in the lore. Sometimes they seem to be written as anything new is bad, other times they get written as maybe new isn't completely bad.

>>47828678
>Rainbow warriors and valedictors are the loyalist remnants of the two lost legions, hidden within the Ultramarines by a sympathetic Girlyman. This is part of why the Ultramarines were so numerous following the heresy.

At which point they are named a successor chapter to the Ultramarines per Mission:Purge.

Makes sense to me.

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>>47842282
I always assumed that the Mechanicum new better, and the higher ups of the Adeptus Mechanicus still understand progress to be the core purpose of their religion. However the majority of the mechanicus have come to believe progress heresy from ten thousand years of too much caution after the events on Mars during the Heresy showing them the absolute worst of what uncontrolled progress can bring.

>>47842282
>>47842370
It's one of those things that greatly varies from writer to writer. Some will present the Mechanicus has one giant, throbbing dick that does things exclusively to piss off other parts of the Imperium. Others will write them as actually fairly pragmatic, but their pragmatism can only do so much because of how dangerous researching technology in 40k can be.

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>>47827885
Some old fluff (?) with some headcanon added:
There are a number of historical figures who were actually the Emperor. These include: Jimmu (the first emperor of Japan), Muhammad (peace be upon him), St. George, Alp Arslan, Mehmet II, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, and most recently Tommy Wiseau. Contrary to popular belief, though, he wasn't Jesus.

>>47828357
This post annoys me.

>The Tyranids in the galaxy are just the scouting force.
They are. Canon.
>Iron Warriors, Death Guard, Black Legion, Thousand Sons, and Word Bearers are more or less organized as a Legion.
They are. Canon.
>Ollanius Pius' original story is unchanged.
Him supposedly, in a legend from M41, being a Guardsman, in a time where they were the Army, blocking a shot meant for the Emperor during the "final assault on Horus' bunker"? Or the first real depiction of events, where it's an Imperial Fist Terminator?
>All of the Black Crusades weren't actually to conquer the Imperium, but feed Chaos and weaken the Corpse-Emperor's lapdogs.
Also canon.
>Carcharodon Origins are still unknown.
They were never Night Lords. Also in universe their origins ARE unknown.

You a shit.

>>47842511
>The Tyranids in the galaxy are just the scouting force.
>They are. Canon.
It thought it was stated that Hive Fleet Leviathan was the main force.

>>47832630
>There a loads of Tau sized alien civilization either ignored by the imperium or actively fighting with it
Church of Dracolith, Draxian Hegemony, Uluméathic League, Worldweave of the Noisome Reek.

>>47842621
Then you're an idiot.

>>47842056
Yeah, basically a plasma cannon that has a target preferance for deamons, but can still kill anything else

>>47842908
Well stated.

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>>47827885
The Tyranids aren't running from anything, are most likely the creation of the C'tan The Endless Swarm who escaped the galaxy so she wasn't shaded, and unless a Desu Ex Machina happens, they will over run the milky way galaxy and move onto the next. No single faction can stand before the entirety of the swarm.

>>47829962
YOU'RE LYING I NEVER HIT YOU!

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, HORUS!

All Thousand Sons got dusted when what's his name did his thing.

Those with Psionic Powers were able to force their dust into flesh and bone.

This is why the Sorceror character in a 1K sons units has slow and purposeful, because he doesn't have enough power.

There are female Chaos Space Marine.

If Bishi Vampire Imperial Space Marines can exist, it isn't that much a push to have some female cultists get pushed SUPER FRIGGIN' HARD.

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>>47829906
Bad feels all around

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The Dark Eldar have Ferrus Manus' head.

>>47827885
There are a number of heretical Ork warbands who worship Khorne rather than Gork & Mork, reasoning that Khorne is a "proper, killy god" who values the same sort of violence and strength the Orks do.

>>47828154
Better still, I figured that most of the stupider stuff in the Grey Knights codex is either Grey Knight legends (like King Arthur is to us, or whatever) or =I= produced internal propaganda.

>>47827885
Magnus the red spends most of his time in his tower,feeling sorry for himself. He considers bringing Russ back to "finish him off".... and deep in the warp, the Lord of Decay waits to welcome his most.....unique apostle.

Nid's win, destroy chaos by consuming all organic life. Organic life resurges eons later, and use the records obtained from previous civilizations to avoid the trap of chaos and nids in the future.

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>>47842212
>Doomguy would literally make Khorne into a skull version of Slaanesh

>Make Slaanesh die of dehydration from organiming so much just by his mere pressence

>Doomguy could get Nurgle to take a shower and go to the gym

>And he could Rip And Tear Tzeech

bumpan

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> Sex is a straqnge subject for the empire.
> Ordo Hereticus is iffy on it. [Spoiler] Full of Virgins [/spoiler]
> Technically Slaanesh Worship.
> Need to reproduce to survive.
> Lets the general stuff (hetero, homo lesbo) and the general fetishes slide
> Anything else is Blammable

The Emperor was actually born during the Age of Strife, a laboratory creation by Malcador the Sigilite, in a manner similar to the creation of the Primarchs. The idea that the Emperor has been around for millennia guiding humanity is an addition by the Ecclesiarchy.

>>47852790
I'm going to suggest it was an addition by the Emperor.

He also invented the hamburger.
And could drive at age 3.
And is the worlds best golfer.

No seriously.

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>>47832108
>>47832146
>>47832454
>Felinids are the result of DAoT genetic experiments aimed at creating cute anime cagirls
>The experiments were an incredible success
>It all falls apart, the noble dream of mankind dies but the catgirls are still there
>Imperium re-discovers the world
>The Admech realizes what they've found, its implications about humanity, and have no idea what they should do with it
>Quarantine the planet
>NOBODY. MUST. KNOW.

>>47830416
Add in Drago for good measure.

>>47827885
My head canon is that there is a lot of planets and Imperium outposts that have been lost or destroyed not by the Xenos attacking or the taint of Chaos rotting it from the inside, but have been victim to the infighting of the many factions of the Inquisition.

The Ministorium, the High Lords of Terra and those who work in beaurocracy purposefully omit this information so that the rest of the Imperium don't come to the conclusion that the Inquisition is either incompetent or just incredibly petty individuals that will destroy an entire planet to spite another one of their peers.

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>>47827885
The Tau are grimdark but hide behind the facade of being the "good guys".

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>>47827885
Tomaru is actually Slaanesh.

>>47827885
The reason the Emperor hesitated to kill Horus and turned a relative blind-eye to his sons falling to the ruinous powers, is that the 2 missing primarchs were never taken out of the warp when the rest were scattered across the Universe. When he found them, they were Primarch Chaos Spawn and he had to mercy-kill them.

After killing 2 of his children, he didn't want to add a third, so he hesitated against Horus in their duel, even after Horus killed Sanguinius.

Then Pius stepped up, looked Horus dead in the eye and told him to choke on a fat bag of dicks.

The Emperor saw Horus, not merely KILL, Ollanius Pius, but shred him to nothing using his powers.

The two sons he'd been forced to murder were beyond recovery, having been mutated too much. Horus still looked human, and the Emperor believed he could be saved.

Then Horus over-killed Pius, rather than one of the thousands of less over-the-top methods that a Chaos infused Primarch had at his disposal to destroy a single guardsman.

The Emperor realized that Horus, despite maintaining a human-appearance, had fallen further past the point of no return than the 2 missing Primarchs, and then he sacked up and hit the Psychic DELETE button on Horus.

A father's love and regret is what doomed the Imperium of man.

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>>47828323
>but the never get his name right.

I see what you did there

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>>47827885
Most of my headcannon is about Tyranids actually winning.

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>>47827885
In my mind Perturabo regrets betraying his father and sees his action as a moment of emotional weakness. As such despises Chaos, which is why the Iron Warriors serve only themselves. He spends his time in his tower on Medrengard designing all the things he hopes to build when the Emperor returns. When the end times come the Iron Warriors (Likely the second largest of the Traitor Legions) will turn upon the Chaos forces at the last moment just as they did to the loyalists on Istvaan V, winning the day for the Imperium. In the meantime he has his gene-sons killing the weakest of the Loyalist Space Marines so that only the strongest will be at the Emperor's side during his resurgence. He will accept whatever fate his father gives him and die either then or many years later knowing he has repented in blood for what he had done on Olympia.

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Titus was edited out of the Ultramarines' history, 1984-style, after his perceived fall to Chaos.

>>47844844
To be fair, the 40k universe does have a lot of God like entities which could provide a semi-realistic "deus ex machina", should that occur.

The High Lords are not incompetent at all, in fact they are highly modified savants with centuries of experience at their jobs. The Imperium is just to massive and chaotic for them to do more than prevent total collapse.

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>>47852836
I portray felinids as humans suffering from that wolfman genetic issue where they are people just fully covered by thick hair. They have cat-like eyes as the planet has only twilight level illumination but that's as far as it goes. It's a genetic divergence so reasonably it should look like one.

It really caused some ass-raviging nerd rage when a guy in my Rogue Trader game played a felinid and found out he wasn't an uguu catboy.

>>47862814
I like this. Really shows him holding a grudge after learning Horus had him swear an oath and not the others.

>>47827885
That the Sisters of Battle are around and do things besides getting killed by other humans.

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Daemons and mortals can interbreed, albeit it happens exceedingly rarely and under very special circumstances.
This means that there are actual tieflings around in 40k.

>Somewhere in the galaxy there is a Sister of Battle that enjoys taking heretic skulls for the Emperor a little too much. She comes from a world that several generations back fell prey to a short-lived daemonic incursion led by a herald of Khorne.

>>47841638
>Among the trillions of humans on most worlds, the billions of Guardsmen that world sends to war is the upper 1% of humanity in terms of physical strength and mental capability. The average guardsman is on par with the most elite soldiers of modern Earth.

Makes sense.

>Gork and Mork are the two lost Primarchs
>Warhammer Fantasy is set on a low tech world in M41

>>47868867
But this is actually kind of canon. Most worlds send the best of their best PDF for Regimental tithes, since there's punishments for sending low quality troops.
Then there's worlds like Cadia and Krieg who are based around doing nothing but training operating operators for operating.
That's also why there's such a disparity between PDF and Guard.

>>47868843
M8 do you see a schlong on a bloodletter? Also, it may not be true in 40k but in fantasy (And AOS) mortals and humans can DEFINITELY interbreed since there's a character who's father was apparently a great unclean one

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>>47868939
>M8 do you see a schlong on a bloodletter?
Maybe it's internal, like a duck penis.
Or maybe this was the herald.

>>47869010
Daily reminder that there are people that can make playing with toy soldiers even more autistic

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>>47868939
>there's a character who's father was apparently a great unclean one
>great unclean one had sex with a human woman
Pic related.

>>47869075
>no fun allowed

Also, still less canon-conflicting that LCB and all the other eldar ficki ficki fanwank.

>>47869135
Well, I mean, LCB DID get some nods from FFG.

- The space marines, as well as most of the imperium's warriors are in fact Khorne worshippers. The warden-warrior fatherly and allmighty figure they name as "the emperor" is, in fact, just one of Khorne's many faces.

- The tyrannids were created by the old ones. They were so butthurt after their fall, that they deccided to whipe the whole galaxy clean.
The bit of fluff where the tyrannids are dodging a tombworld was just concerning Trazyn's homeworld. He's likely to have gathered something that repelled the fleet. All around the galaxy, neccrons are actively trying to destroy the nids.

- Most of the primarchs actually had sex at some point in their lives, which resulted in a few descendants. Somewhere in the galaxy, a bunch of rogue traders, vanus assassins, eldar prophets, rebels, corsairs and radical inquisitors try to rebuild a death squad that would strike chaos down for good.
(ok, this one is needlessly animu and retarded, but I like it anyway. The last one is waaaaay whose, though. Next post)

>>47869266


- Most of Matt Ward's grey knight fluff il true, except this little detail :
They are fucking huge heretics.
The Khornite knights ? High-level Khorne worshipping, indeed. The demons never stood a chance against khorne's chosen. Draigo ? A demon prince.
The reason why they can't be corrupted is that they already are. Watcha gonna do ? They are somewhat believing that they are abovee common rules, that they assume their humanity at a level most mortals couldn't handle, and that it makes them the emperor's chosen.
But why are the chaos gods willingly helping the imperium ? Because they are all but indestructible, and that the imperium, through keeping tyrannids, crons and orks at bay, is saving their lives. No sentient life implies no gods either. They don't have perfect control over their followers, though, being made of pure emotions. They need to prevent their followers and demons from fucking up mankind as a whole. Think of them as an inner control force.
Of course, this is far fetched. But it is all I could think of after reading Ward's bullshit, and I grew quite fond of it with time.
Plus, this explains why Failbaddon fails so hard : chaos gods don't really want him to succeed : to try and cause as much mayhem as possible is pretty satisfying for them, but to crush the imperium ? Oh, hell, no !

>>47827885
There never was an Emperor- it was an illusion created by Malcador who was the real mind behind it all, but he knew a more impressive figurehead than himself would be more effective to rally loyalty. There isn't actually a body on the Golden Throne.

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Marbo is actually one of the lost primarks:

https://youtu.be/jCMNWAJiz5Y

>>47869493
And the doom guy is a whole lost legion alone

>>47828267
>>47828330
>>47828345
>>47840832
>"You know, foul xeno, if you seek a fight to challenge your entire species, you would need to confront our very emperor himself."
>"Ain' he dyin', 'umie?"
>"Oh, no, he's very much alive, but your fight is so pitiful, he'd never pay you any mind when there are greater battles for him to win."
>"WHAAAA?! DAH 'UMIE EMPEROR THINKS WE AIN' A MATCH? WHATZ WE GOTTA DO TA GIT SUM RESPECT FIGHTAN?"
>"Oh, the only members of Imperium allowed to spar with the Emperor are those who have braved the Eye of Terror itself and slain a billion daemons within."
>"YOUZ HEARD THE 'UMIE BOYZ! WE'Z GONNA WHAAAAAAGH DIS EYE O' TERROR AN' THEN WE'Z GONNA FIGHTZ THE EMPERORS!"
>The orkz leave proceed to kill billions of daemons to prove themselves to a God Emperor they are certain is alive and mocking them by seeing them as unworthy to battle directly

It's a pretty gross simplification, and I'm pretty sure, due to their lack of souls, Orkz can't even go into the Eye of Terror anyway, but it's still funny to imagine.

>>47869535
Have you seen Marbo and doom guy in the same room?

>>47842423
to add to this list, I would say The Emperor was also Gilgamesh. Enkidu was the first Abhuman beastman and possibly a prototype primarch. (adding to a sort of new outlook on the love between Gil and Enkidu as father and son)

Ishtar was none other than Slaneesh attempting to sway the emperor before he might be a threat. Which failed.

She then killed enkidu and took his soul, the Emperor than journeyed for a means to free Enkidu but to no avail. It was the first time he understood what losses he would face on the journey to his ultimate goal.

One of the lost Primarchs was a pacifist hippy.

"My Son! I have found you at last! I am the Emperor of mankind and your father!"

"I don't believe in labels, man"

>>47869633
The orks have invaded the EoT at least once in the official fluff.

They fucked shit up on a right roaring rampage before getting stuck on a Khorne world. Every day they fight endless deamons down to the last ork before being killed off. Every night they are resurrected by the grace of Khorne to do battle to the death all over again.

Their existence now consists of nothing but war and dying and warring again. It is paradise for them. If they could ever get word out about their discovery the orks would beat a path light years wide and all orks in the galaxy would funnel down to the EoT to join this glorious Valhalla.

>>47869699
So, the question is: would chaos be able to handle all those Orkz if the entirety of their race came down on them?

Would the warp energies grant them souls which they could then be corrupted with?

>>47827885
adding a more serious one:

The reason for all the retcons, lore inconsistencies, and why time never moves past the 41st millennium is because all of the gods (including the Big E) basically all have access to a 'reset' button to rewind things back to some point in time.

All it takes is for ONE to be unsatisfied with how the outcome of the 41st millennium goes and everyone's back to start again.

Of course, you can't repeatedly fuck over time without consequences, and even the Chaos gods are getting increasingly worried but no one's willing to budge and want the 41st millennium to end THEIR WAY and won't be happy otherwise.

But if nothing is done and time just keeps looping... Everyone is gonna end up fucked hard. And not even in the ways Slaneesh could ever enjoy.

>>47869749
Chaos Orks are a thing. Rare but they are a thing. Orks do have souls, just not very good ones.

Would Chaos as a whole be able to handle Orks Undivided on the field of battle? I'm going to suggest it would become a stalemate.

Both form a practical point of view are infinite in number and the Orks are not without gods of their own.

>>47869699
>WE FOIGHT
>WE DIE
>WE FOIGHT AGAIN

>>47848348
>and deep in the warp, the Lord of Decay waits to welcome his most.....unique apostle.

What?

>>47833718
As is Aun'va

>>47869010
What would sex with her be like??

>>47842511
Don't get your knickers in a bunch there

>>47869135
>The reason Avitus have metal cheeks is because his real ones got torn out by a Exitus shot.
>Once he woke up, the other Blood Ravens lie to him saying that was a guardsman with a looted weapon, so he will not fuck up any mission where the Chapter gets help from the Vindicare Temple. It works.
>Avitus and Tarkus become friends upon agreeing that humans falling in love with eldar are the dumbest fucks in the galaxy.
>Part of the reason Davian Thule didn't got busted after Kronus is because the Ordo Sicarius manipulated some evidence as "thanks" for fix this fuck up.

>>47837914
You got it the wrong way round assy was first; girly man was his first non Eldar student anon.

>>47827885
The emperor has an actual son in watch fortress erioch's locked tomb thing.
One of the missing primarchs is female
Dumb shit happens a lot in the setting because dumb shit happens a lot in tabletop

>>47828013
>why do these pauldron people exist?
Gee anon, I really don't know.
What possible benefit could come from a person at least as skilled as the experienced vets of the gaurd, as smart as the ad mech, strength approaching an ogryn, stealth only out classes by assasins, the power to bring the wrath of god down like the inquisition, not to mention all the myriad of other enhancements they have that no other group has. And their armor, which is bith the best in the imperium and is linked with them via black carapace, something no other group has.

Are you a fucking retard? The space marines are the ultimate warriors. Sure, there are other beings that equal them or in a few cases out class them in some aspects, but nothing equals them in all aspects. The tactical flexibility that they possess, as well as all the special traits that they have that nobody else does, makes them the greatest fighting force in the history of the universe, you fucking mong.
Also
>catachans
>as strong as marines
Top fucking kek. That's not even close to true.
Tabletop stats are not canon, and shouldn't be treated as such.

>>47862814
That's really fucking good head canon.
Your a pretty cool guy anon, and your idea is far better than alot of the shit that 40k has recently produced as an excuse for fluff

>>47871245
While I agree with absolutely everything you just wrote you sound salty as fuck and butthole blitzkrieged.

>>47862814
That is fucking awesome.

It's bitter and wretched and drowning hate and blood. It is perfect for Perturabo and his Iron Warriors.

This is now my headcanon also.

>>47871271
>you sound salty as fuck and butthole blitzkrieged.
Well, I might be.
I have a very low tolerance for idiocy. There are worse faults to have I suppose.

>>47871389
>I have a very low tolerance for idiocy.

Then please leave. This place is clearly not for you.

>>47862814
That's fucking perfect.
I esspecially like the bit about killing the weakest chapters and gene-seeds. Can't think of many things that fit him better than that.

>>47835715
link please? i've never heard of these

>>47871964
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Story:The_Shape_Of_The_Nightmare_To_Come_50k

there is a 60k one called Age of Dusk by LordLucan.

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>>47829906

>>47872056
thank you kind anon