You are now a Wizard

>>47478738
Incredibly selfish shit.

Win the lottery, get even with some people, get a better car. Nothing fantastic actually.

>>47478784
How much strain would "win the lottery" place on your mind?

>>47479079
I don't think it would work because it's a very vague cause and effect condition. Win how? Which one? The closest you could probably get is to buy a ticket and do "This is the winning ticket"

>>47479289
"Powerball pick my numbers"

Easy peazy gimme monies

"Summon dank marijuana blunt"
"Summon the blowjob ghost"
"Add 10 years to my life"
"I want bigger chest muscles"

Stupid and simple shit like that.

>>47478738

>Make myself moderately smarter.

>Donald Trump Has Cerebral Hemorrhage.

>Hilary Clinton Has Stroke.

>All willing ISIL members die.

>All willing Hamas members die.

>All Al-Qaeda members die.

>All Boko Haram members die.

>All Christian Dominionists drop dead.

>All Scientologists have heart attacks.

>All Quiverfull members become sterile

>All North Korean Weapons vanish.

>Firefly renewed for second season.

>Banking Error, car loan paid.

>Banking error, hospital bills paid.

>Pen always picks winning stocks.

>Skype never has connection problems

>Roll20 fixes all its bugs

I'm pretty much done at that point. Everyone, enjoy your greatly improved world, I'm going to retire to a small condo in Hawai'i. Peace out.

>>47479079
Other than the known psychological effects of suddenly coming into massive amounts of money? None at all. It's not an ongoing effect, it's a one-and-done thing, so no strain.

>>47480383
I think the power trip of being wizard is going to overshadow the power trip of of having money.

>>47480329
>>Donald Trump Has Cerebral Hemorrhage.
>>Hilary Clinton Has Stroke.
>>All willing ISIL members die.
>>All willing Hamas members die.
>>All Al-Qaeda members die.
>>All Boko Haram members die.
>>All Christian Dominionists drop dead.
>>All Scientologists have heart attacks.
>>All Quiverfull members become sterile
"All people follow my morals."
There, I just fixed the world without murdering millions of people.

>>47480405
Probably, yeah. But I was responding to a question about winning the lottery specifically, not the overall long-term effects of possessing reality-altering powers.

>>47480406
But anon, then nothing changes!

>>47480406
What? Dude, my morals suck. I'm a horrible person willing to murder millions to improve the lives of billions. If I have to be a monster so nobody else is, I'm OK with that, but I would HATE a world full of Me's running around. That would be the LAST spell I ever inflict.

Not to mention it would be a massive long-term effect which would drain me dead, probably. I just want the worst monsters on Earth cleared away, like weeding a garden. I might step in and prune again later if things get bad again, but I want to give the better portions of humanity time and space to grow without being strangled by the weeds.

>>47480329
Bernie supporter spotted.

>>47480329
>aka things that will never actually solve any problems becuase I'm childish and only focus on the symptoms

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>>47480459
>It's a utilitarians are retarded thread

Why is it that we can't talk about wizards without politics getting involved. This is like the 5th time I've seen this happen.

>>47481788
If you take someone with no power to change the Status Quo or improve their lives, and posit to them a scenario in which they are given power to improve their lives, they will, by default, think of ways to improve their lives and by extension, the lives of those around them.

What about this surprises you?

>All human disease are cured
If that doesn't kill me in the process, I honestly don't know what else to do. Counter any stupidity the world does, become immortal, advance science.

>>47478738
Try and find some people to help discover if there is an objective basis to my powers, or if I have become the "observer" of reality.

Then try and turn my newfound powers to uncovering the mechanics of physics, chemistry, biology, sentience and everything else I could turn my attention to in order to better the world.

I would get a LOT more personal enjoyment and fulfiment out of that than any simple "let's fulfil all my wishes" power trip.

Get a better job. Go to art school.

>>47478738
I become the little girl.

>>47482048
Thanks for killing us all with overpopulation, fuckwit.

>>47478738
Create my own enchanted hollow.

I wouldn't use my power to influence the world. I would just chill in my own little magical retreat, gradually expanding it and generally have a grand old time. Maybe I'll also create a delicious brown elf wife to keep me company and help with new ideas for expanding the hollow.

"summon my dragon waifu"
"dragon waifu wants to cuddle"

>>47478738
"Make him agree to the big sale I'm pitching."

"Get me that promotion."

"Make me a shareholder."

>ITT
>people who can't count to five

>>47478738
>Become wizard
>"Immunity to all human laws"
>"Lots of money to spend"
>"My most ideal living space"
>"Harem of sexy slutty lolis"
>Relax

>kill all life, everywhere.

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>>47478738

Does "make me wiser" count as changing my form? Because if not, my initial spells are going to be a couple of "make me wiser" "make me smarter" "give me more foresight" etc buffs to better figure out my next spells. Failing that, spells to point me at the best other people to help my improve my spells. Also, attempts at experimenting with conlangs to squeeze more stuff into five words.

But I suppose attempts at recursion, metamagic and misc cheating aren't what you wanted from this thread, so here are some of the object-level things I would do with my new power:
-Create secure comfortable exile prison.
-Stock prison with supplies.
-Exile Mugabe to this prison.
-Exile Kim Jong-il there too.
-Exile (laundry list of various other big nasties) ditto.
-Recurringly cast "Know near future danger" (It's probably the best alternative to lasting enchantments of health, youth, etc)
-Occasionally cast "Know far future danger" and "Know existential risks"
-Start experimenting with "Give Moon a breathable atmosphere" and similar spells for space colonization

And for personal amusement:
Find shitty papers like pic related, cast "Burn every copy of this", cast "Strike authors deaf and dumb".

>>47482983
>Strike authors deaf and dumb

They already have the dumb part down, though.

>>47478738
Everyone is a cute loli.
I have $1M in assets.
Neverending beer fountain in kitchen
Bring me all the drugs

>>47483020
Thank you for making obvious joke, but the "dumb" in "deaf and dumb" means being unable to speak.

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>>47480459
Then die for the sake of the world, you dime store Emiya Kiritsugu.

im a pretty nice dude.

id probably just move somewhere not shitty and spend my time as a hermit doing cool shit for people.

"give that man some gas"
"bring that lady's dog here."

then on bad days ill do just random malicious shit.

"break that man's grocery bag"

life'll be awesome. Random karmic retribution and I'll live an easy life.

>>47483070
>the "dumb" in "deaf and dumb" means being unable to speak

Would this also forbid them from writing, though? I mean, it's technically not speaking.

>>47483098
If they write more shitty papers I'll just burn those too. >:V

>>47480459
>Dude, my morals suck.
Yeah, that's why I said "my morals", not "your morals".

>Not to mention it would be a massive long-term effect which would drain me dead, probably.
The limit was given by number, not scope of the effect. There's no reason to believe that it would kill you, just limit how many other active effects you can have up at once.

>>47482048
>All human disease are cured
>If that doesn't kill me in the process...
Try "Cure discovered for all diseases." No strain, since it's a one-time instant effect. You might have to refresh it now and then ("Cure discovered for [insert new disease here]."), but it won't be a constant drain on you.

>>47482333
"Mars is now Earth-like."
"Scientists perfect mass space travel."

Population problem solved.

>>47483181
Butbut muh original mars.

How about instead creating an empty Antichthon (Counter-Earth), the supposed twin planet that scifi used to speculate existed in the same orbit as Earth but on the opposite side of the Sun?

>>47478738
"Only I have this power"

Best to nip any wizard battles in the bud.

>>47480329
wishes a Cerebral Hemorrhage and Stroke on people

can we add just horrible people in general to the list so it'll take you as well, I'm not exactly thrilled with them either but at least I don't go around wishing that shit on them

>>47478738
>Make me handsome and healthy.
>Let none learn of me.
And I proceed to spend my days enjoying not being unhealthy any more.

>>47478784

>Sentient incredibly selfish shit

Fixed it for you. I don't know if that would be an appropriate familiar.

>>47478738
"cast spell from this paper"
Then see if i can use that to get around the 5 word limit.
also "Magic does not strain me".
If that doesn't work start seeing if i can make nested spells. create new words that specifically define complex ideas, and just in general see how far i can push magics buttons.

>>47478738
Wow, you're about as intelligent and aware as a non Bernie supporter!

>>47480329
This bait is too delicious go ignore.

You got shit taste mate.

>>47480329

Why kill them, rather than make them see the error of their ways, in your opinion?

>>47478738
"Vivec starts wandering around Moscow"
That is it. Meeting Vivec IRL would be VERY interesting.

>>47478738
>What do you do with your new found power?
acquire currency, procreate in missionary

>>47483506
>make me handsome
You're a wizard, not an all powerful god

>>47478738
Locate alien life