How many times in your tabletop career have you been given a

>>46854062
Like, once.
That GM was based.

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>>46854062
>every good campaign that has lasted had my characters being villainousor scummy
>all bad campaigns that fizzle out or I walk away have me playing a heroic good guy
>tfw hero's welcome never

I'm going to give my players one next session. Any suggestions?

>>46854198
Booty for everyone

>>46854062
>mostly played Only War and Dark Heresy
>GM was really good at demonstrating just how little anything we did affected the universe at large
>After our biggest victory we got immediately shipped out to the next battlefield without even getting our evening rations.

>>46854198
Throw them a feast.
A poisoned feast.

>>46854062
>Given a hero's welcome to this village we just saved from a metric assload of undead
>GM has us roll reflex saves
>The villagers are throwing rice at us in celebration
>GM emphasizes that it stings like a mothefuck and we have to shield our eyes on the way back to the inn we were staying
>Half the party fails their rolls and are blinded by fucking rice
>Our gnome bard goes missing in the ensuing chaos
>Chaotic Neutral Fighter lashes out in anger, stabs a hapless villager into the negatives
>Nobody really notices or cares, we start having to make combat maneuver checks to not get wrestled to the ground by villagers
>Sorcerer is dragged away by a bunch of village girls while we're helpless to do anything
>Eventually make it to the inn after our paladin flips his shit on the villagers
>We're short two party members
>Sorcerer and bard turned up later that night
>Wake up the following morning
>Thank fuck no rice
>Villager our fighter stabbed is very popular because he acted as the 'sheathe' for one of the mighty heroes weapons for nearly a second
>People are lining up asking our fighter to stab them now

At that point half of us refused to go on because it was getting to ridiculous, and the other half was laughing to hard to actually fucking play

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>>46854401
I'd like to sheathe my weapon in some villagers, if you catch my drift

>>46854062
Every time I've walked into a villain's base.

A couple times, one in detail. We were part of a mercenary group that helped save the king's regiment of the army in battle.

I remember among other things, everyone else in the party got some tail in thanks except my guy, who became disillusioned with the whole thing and sat pretty depressed in his tent all night.

>>46854287
You fiend...

Even barbarians won't stoop as low as poisoning the food. Everyone knows that the proper thing is to serve enough alcoholic drinks to get everyone wasted and then cut their throats open. That way using tricks to detect poison will prove nothing and the victims think that everything is ok and besides... anyone who falls for the "let's get them drunk and then cut their throats open" deserves to die.

>>46854198
Make flower petals rain, like to the point where it's annoying

>>46854626
>drinking is bad for you
Make it more subtle

>>46854062
>Save town from zombie outbreak
>Rewarded with a free trip to the gallows

My DM was an ass. Dropped him real quick.

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we go to a country that from war
that we saved
we then proceed to rule the nation in dictator ship
after wards we declared war with each other


i became pic related

>>46859285
What a handsome man

>>46860826
>what a handsome tangerine
FTFY

>>46859285
damn the Donald was kind of hot back then.