Mage Guild

>>46612043
Fuck affirmative action. So what if some races are hardly ever smart enough to qualify? At the least the rich ones can buy headbands of intellect.

>>46612043
What if we implement a eugenic program aimed at breeding more individuals among the lesser races that qualify to be members of our guild?

>>46612043
Polymorph! Polymorph the whole guild! That will show those left bastards!

>>46612043
>"liches don't count."
OH HEEELLLLLL NAW!
>Bobs her head

>>46612354

Since minutiae are my magical realm, I approve of this.

Also, can we include some naughty Law Elementals?

>>46612476
Mhmmmmm!
>Moves her head from side to side

>>46612043
Some people are going to complain no matter what we do...

>>46612354
That's just going to cause the Guild's pond and garden to fill to overflowing. While I don't mind the croaking, some associates of mine prefer more peaceful environs

>>46612043

I agree we need more diverse races

>>46612523
Polymorpth them into the other races. Come now, i'm sure you'd look quite attarctive as an ogress

>>46612552
SHUT UP RUBEUS!
>goes to punt but ends up hurting his toe
MEDIC!

>>46612597
Eh, I'm one of "those lunatics" that lives over near the experimental spell labs so anything stable would be a nice change of pace. Here, I might have some healing wraps around here somewhere...

>>46612552

Well, we created most races. What else do you want? And no, we're not allowed to create more fursona, the lawsuit is pretty clear in that regard

Цpн вщтэe цy oгыe aкн epщыy дyaeшyы?

>>46612663
I don't think that the whole "fursona creation" thing was that well thought out to begin with, but that isn't really my area of expertise.

>>46612043
can't we breed up the average intelligence of orks?

>>46612223
>>46612715
Then we'd just get accusations of making some sort of army of darkness or something. Besides, the Orcs would just start agitating about what a true Orc is or whatever. Didn't you pay attention to that whole fiasco in Ahvazmian?

>>46612043
Why don't we cross-breed with the other races? We can use illusion to appear attractive to their kind, and breed in great numbers, and alchemy to increase our potency. That way we'll produce smarter Centaurs.

And other races I guess.

>>46612715
No way, if those jocks want to be a wizard they have to read a book, just like the rest of us!

>>46612843
>Coughcoughhorsefuckercough

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>>46612043
These threads are cancer, stop making them.

>>46612597
HA!

>>46612663

Offer discounts to different races for teaching and alter the building so non humanoid races can actually move around and use the facilities

>>46613063
Shut up fatty

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>>46612043
I got you, senpai. We'll just open a portal to the far realm so that the energy leaking from it will instantly diversify everything in a sixty foot radius, and spread diversity at a rate of ten feet an hour. In no time at all, we'll be the most diverse guild in the world, and we'll be able to understand the incomprehensible to boot.

I for one will not have this.

>>46613063
If they're here to learn magic, wouldn't they want to learn how to polymorph themselves to use the facilities? Or we could have the facilities shift for the races.

>>46612043
just blow up the prime material plane, relocate to the abyss temporarily, thats what we did back in my day, just kill the mortal and godly fools who complain.
literally you lot are being lazy as shit.
eh what do i know, i'm still a janitor for another 1000 years or so.

>>46613108

No one ask for your opinion ugly

>>46613130
he gets it, if you are part of this guild and can't understand the basics of eldritchian physics your clearly doing something wrong.

>>46613130
Oh boy one of the eldritch entities s loose again.

>>46613148
You're a janitor, right? >>46613130 could use some "cleaning"

>>46613142

It takes years to learn how to cast polymorph

>>46612552
you are a mockery to the small wizard community

>>46613130
sounds good to me

>>46613134
you tell th- Wait, really?

>>46613148
you missed a spot

>>46613163
I'll have you know I won last years beauty pageant

>>46613247

Because you scared away the competition with that ugly mug you have the balls to call a face

>>46613247
As what, a homunculus made primarily out of rotten tomatoes? That nearly made me gag and I vivisect things for a living!

>>46613247
of course! they do not understand the problems with the ratios of will to intelligence. we cant have half-orks throwing fireballs that may dissipate before properly incinerating a fellow. we would lose so much respect

>>46612043
>How can we be more diverse without compromising our actual magical acumen?
The answer is always drugs, my friend.
Have you tried doping those of insufficient intelligence with things like Mentats?

>>46612043
We could actually remove some diversity movement's leaders from play. Not kill them, but make them look incompetent and corrupt. I have some of my magic juice that would make any of this chucklefuck so high, that they wouldn't mind sleeping with a half-orc boy or a little troll girl. And that's where we catch 'em and hand them over to the authorities. What do you think? Potions and kids are on me if you're in.

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>>46612043
You need diversity?

>>46612944
How about I polymorph you into a bitch?

>>46613130
What would come through the portal? Some kind of tentacle thing?

Let's do it.

>>46613539

Psionics aren't Wizards my friend

>>46613310
roll away of ball of lard

>>46613332
that, plus they'll steal from us

>>46613573
so you want to fuck dogs to? you sick bastard!

>>46613744

Unpleasant to see and listen to

what a winning combination

>>46613878
at least i don't look like one of harold's experiments got loose and put on a robe, hat, and 100 pounds of fat

To hell with the left, were wizards damnit, Ivory towers and prophecy. We are demigods, and if doing so is oppression of a minority, then so be it, may they suffer for thier folly

I would like to call to everyone's attention the distinct fish smell that has been permeating the streets.

I wager the Illithids are to blame for this, but I shall need approval for... Research.

>>46614550
GRANTED!

>>46612043
I know I'm not officially a member, just the dude who drops by with vino, or a new species of plant for everyone to test out, AND that I was originally a Druid and all, but that "liches don't count" line kinda hurts.
That's just rude.

>>46612043
Now I may just be a humble bootymancer, but even I know trainin' a bunch of half-orc to throw fireballs is a bad idea.
I propose for focus on infernal recruitment. And no, this has to do with my proposal to import more succubi into our plane. Demons and tieflings are simply the best candidates to fill out diversity quota.

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>>46613130
What a wonderful idea! I'll get started on the preparations immediately! Tribbledorf, be a dear and fetch me fifteen Otyugh uterus's from the janitor's closet would you?

>>46617842
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE HIPPIE OR I SWEAR I'LL TURN YOUR HAIR FOLLICLES INTO SCREAMING BARBED PARASITES AGAIN.

>>46612043
This school has standards.

If you don't meet those standards, study somewhere else until you meet them. If we have to recommend another school for them to work them up to the most basic level of intelligence needed to comprehend what we do, then we could make connections with such schools so that they have a program that can bring students into our fold.
Under our own regulations, of course.

>>46619580
Your so called 'standards' are just arbitrary boarders set in place by the mageriarchy. If a being identifies as wizard, they should be able to study magic regardless of what spellcasting ability they were born with.

>>46621934
We are equal opportunity in terms of ARCANE CASTING AND SCIENCES. If you don't possess the faculties for either in any of its many variations, then this is not the place for you.

In fact, beings that "identify as wizard," could theoretically study there, but if they are literally incapable of producing even the most minute results, then that is a waste of everyone's time and efforts. This is not about discrimination as much as the actual limitations of people. This is why I suggested an alternative to bring people from the bottom that have an interest in the subject up to the required levels for this school's entry-level.

>>46623186
This is just typical ciscaster rhetoric. People aren't limited casting ability. If someone is a wizard they shouldn't be judged by whether or not they can cast spells or not. The mageriarchy has no right to tell them what 'their place' is.

>>46624340
I've heard this before, and it's incredibly mistaken. Casters of all kinds increase their upper limits with practice, a ceiling if you will. But if you aren't even at floor level, there's hardly anything that can be done. What part of "train them up first" doesn't make sense to you?

You say that it's "ciscaster" rhetoric, but casters are so varied that there is no normalcy.
You say that people aren't limited by casting ability, but it's rather the other way around.
You say that wizard's shouldn't be judged by whether they can cast spells or not, but if they can't then they are by definition not able to be a wizard.
You say that the "mageriarchy" has not right to tell them what "their place" is, but the actual experts on the subject are in fact the people that have the most right to tell people what is and isn't possible or even reasonable.

Please, come back when you have a more airtight argument that you didn't scribe down from the Magi-net.

>*barges in*
I came as fast as I got the summo-
...
I'm late again, aren't I?

>>46627909
A bit, yes. But it has been relatively slow thus far.

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I say we should start forcibly swapping the minds of half-orcs with more intelligent breeds, then getting those half-orc body/elf or what-have you minds to act as our stand-ins for half-orc wizards. Anybody complains, and we can counter that they're being discriminatory against the "trans-mental" crowd who have always really been half-orcs trapped in non-half-orc bodies, and we're doing them a favor.

It's my understanding that these people are so delusional that they'll shout down the *actual* half-orcs in elf bodies or whatever for being bigoted shitlords when the H-OIEBs start complaining that they've been given the complete magical, physical, mental, and social shaft. Our problem won't just fix itself, it'll actively improve our status with these crazy bastards.

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>>46612043
It's preposterous to think that we can simply lower the most important ability of our (abet, lesser) colleagues to such a ridiculous level. However, I do see benefit of lowering both the intelligence and charisma scores to +12. There is no real difference between the gap from +12 to +13, and it is an outdated guild requirement in light of newer data.

We can perhaps offer internships (note, not apprenticeships) to races with less intelligent-oriented races, with minor magic lessons, in order that they may expand their current intelligence, and then be capable of joining the guild proper.

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>>46629135
This idea is as grand as it is fantastical! I volunteer to transfer my mind into an orc body.